Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Let there be snark.

The willow is too close to the house.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Not all heroes wear capes.

You are here: Home / z-Retired Categories / Site Maintenance / Site Maintenance Is Over. I Think.

Site Maintenance Is Over. I Think.

by | 110 Comments

This post is in: 

fatlady

According to Alain, we’re basically done. If you like what you see, hit the paypal tip jar so I can send him some loot. If you don’t like it, hit it twice since you’re probably one of the whining assholes who made this extended ordeal even worse.

Or if you just want me to spend money on hookers and blow, that’s cool, too. But put a note otherwise it goes to Alain.

Reader Interactions

110Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    It’s not over. Main page is badly broken for scrolling in Firefox/Win 10. VERY BADLY BROKEN.

    Oh, wait. Now it’s not…can scroll freely with my mouse wheel. Never mind.

  4. 4.

    geg6

    Why not designate for both options? Or, knowing you are anti-social and you don’t do blow, put your portion toward something for your frat boys? That’s what I plan to do tomorrow. Some for Alain and some for an end of year frat feast. At your house, of course. With you doing the cooking. Pics required.

  5. 5.

    Gin & Tonic

    He was still going to fix the font size thing. The font for the poster’s name and the date/time seems too small relative to the body text, and the date/time line is too close to the writer’s name line. In VDE’s post above, for instance the “6” of April 6 overlaps the tail of the “g”‘s descender.

  6. 6.

    Keith P.

    According to Alain, we’re basically done.

    Haha, a programmer is never done. There is always refactoring to do :)

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    I will probably have to switch back to the mobile site on my iPad again because the really fucking annoying “this page failed to load properly” message is back, probably due to that autoplay ad trying and failing to load in iOS.

  8. 8.

    debbie

    When I checked threads on my iPad, there were both threaded and unthreaded comments in the same thread. Should this be happening?

  10. 10.

    cbear

    Any chance we can get the “strikethrough” feature back? I find my snarkability severely limited by the lack of that feature.

    Oh yeah, I also sent you some bath salts and flakka—should be arriving any day now—just look for the package from Florida.
    Cheers, brother, thanks for all you do.

  15. 15.

    Prescott Cactus

    @cbear:

    Any chance we can get the “strikethrough” feature back? I find my snarkability severely limited by the lack of that feature.

    This is a test:
    {} then ()

    type “strike” and then “/strike” substituting for the quotation marks with less than and greater than symbols.

  16. 16.

    Splitting Image

    Looking good! :)

    Still a couple of minor issues, like the poster’s name being a bit too small, but otherwise good.

  19. 19.

    amk

    Thanks Alain for getting rid of ‘awesome’ features. The desktop version is almost functional. Mobile version is better, missing only comment numbers.

  20. 20.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @geg6:

    Some for Alain and some for an end of year frat feast. At your house, of course. With you doing the cooking. Pics required.

    I also need proof of life for Rosie and Shawn.

  21. 21.

    Mary G

    Comments below the post, yay! The font used for commenters’ names is a bit small, but no big deal. I will send a bit of money in a day or two.

  24. 24.

    Mnemosyne

    @amk:

    For the mobile site, I would like comment numbers and an “up” arrow. Otherwise, I’m reasonably satisfied.

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    @amk:

    Sorry, I’m getting my directions mixed up. I actually want a DOWN arrow. I already know how to go auto-up in iOS.

  27. 27.

    cbear

    @Prescott Cactus:
    @Mike E:

    Thanks for trying to help, but I hate having to put down my drink or the joint to do all that complicated shit. I also don’t want to harsh the mellow I get watching all my fellow BJ’ers fling shit at each other—I need a button.

  31. 31.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Omnes Omnibus: Add my signature as well, cause I don’t give a rat’s ass about heat maps or internetting right.

    PS – Thanks for both links below; I left you one as well.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    Is it just me or does everyone see the empty boxes beside the Recent Post listings, and then when they click to see Recent Comments they have no idea what FP post the comment is linked to?

  33. 33.

    cbear

    @Prescott Cactus: Is that a sneaky BS vs HRC question—or a sneaky HRC vs BS question?
    Are you trying to trick me?

    Man, I gotta get some better drugs–I’m feeling a little paranoid.

  36. 36.

    humboldtblue

    John, was that costume heavy and hot to wear? All that breast plate and the helmet and the pole axe and the girth and the braided hair an’ stuff.

    Seems like it would be uncomfortable.

  42. 42.

    Mnemosyne

    This Banana Split gourmet cupcake is so crumbly that I had to eat it with a fork.
    /First World Problems

  44. 44.

    Punchy

    On my Samsung, I see 2 “reply” buttons per comment. I guess its for those who REALLY want to reply…

  45. 45.

    Steeplejack

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Going back to an earlier thread, you can get a “modern” TrackPoint keyboard from Lenovo. Example here. Also available at Amazon.

    I haven’t used one, so I don’t know how it compares to the IBM original, but in my experience Lenovo has done a pretty good job of maintaining the IBM quality. (I love the keyboard on my Lenovo notebook.)

  46. 46.

    daveX99

    Happy to donate. Been reading balloon juice for years, I just realized. Pay Alain or snort it up your nose (kidding: make sure Alain is taken care of. As a web developer, I know the work it takes).

    Just please keep up the good work.

  48. 48.

    caring and sensitive

    I lurk every day. I comment very infrequently. This is my favourite (see I’m in Canada) website and I am delighted. The font is easy to read, there are numbers, and best of all, the back button works. The Paypal is in the mail.

  51. 51.

    Amir Khalid

    I told Alain that each item in the Recent Comments list should, obviously, consist of only the post headline, the commenter’s nym and the comment time-stamp. That is not what I’m seeing.

    Also, there is a square box to the left of every post headline in the Recent Posts lists. Why?

    Blogroll items are not a link to the blog. That still wants fixing.

  55. 55.

    danielx

    @cbear:

    I also don’t want to harsh the mellow I get watching all my fellow BJ’ers fling shit at each other—I need a button.

    You don’t spend all that much time here, do you? Shit-flinging is more or less what the commentariat here does.

    I must note that site updates/maintenance does tend to bring forth those Cole characteristics we know and love so well.

  57. 57.

    Mnemosyne

    @danielx:

    Somewhere on one of my mobile devices, I saved Anne Laurie’s epic comment about how our dysfunctional family backgrounds make us all most comfortable when we’re bitching loudly about shit. Now I can’t remember which one, though.

  58. 58.

    cbear

    @danielx: Actually I’ve been around here since about 2004/2005. I actually witnessed Cole undergo the Great Transformation.
    I just don’t comment much anymore.

  61. 61.

    Mnemosyne

    @danielx:

    Wait, I found some of it. Anne Laurie on change and the Juicetariat:

    Much as we generate / enjoy chaos, though, we hate change. Keeping it together is challenging enough that even (supposed) improvements are liable to tip us out of balance, and nothing in our past histories are liable to have encouraged us in the belief that change can be an improvement. But the Bar Blog Master has his own problems with change, he hasn’t the resources to baby his customers like this was some kind of godsdamned kindergarten you miserable fvckers, so he (out of training / ingrained habit) preemptively yells at us to stop whining or by god HE WILL GIVE US SOMETHING TO WHINE ABOUT!!!…

    Which is, alas, familiar behavior — reassuring, in its dysfunctional fashion. Cole yells, we shriek, he threatens us, we shriek louder. It’s alarming to bystanders, but at least it’s a form of social interaction we can cope with, because we’ve been practicing it all our miserable lives.

  64. 64.

    cbear

    @danielx: And, btw, this HRC/BS kerfuffle is pretty tame shit compared to some of the wars that used to go on around here back in the ‘aughts. lol

  67. 67.

    danielx

    @Mnemosyne:

    True dat. However, the older I get, the more I become convinced that all families are dysfunctional; it’s just a question of degree.

    @cbear:

    I actually witnessed Cole undergo the Great Transformation.

    Sort of like watching a werewolf turn into a man, eh?

    I hear you, I go through spells of commenting/not commenting. Although the current silly season has provided lots of worthy topics. You know, how long does it take an evangelical to extract a log from his eye, stuff like that.

  68. 68.

    Prescott Cactus

    @Mnemosyne:

    too many electronic devices

    Down to 2 and if I could live without a phone it would be one.
    @danielx:

    True dat.

    My Ma always said everyone is nuts. It just takes time to get to know them and understand how well they hide it.

    Night Night

  69. 69.

    cbear

    @danielx:

    Sort of like watching a werewolf turn into a man, eh?

    More like watching one of those natural childbirth videos new parents are always trying foist on their childless friends (I always ask to see film of the conception first).
    The video is nasty, messy, painful, and the baby comes out looking like an ugly monkey—but sometimes the kid becomes an actual human being later on, and you can actually talk to them.

  71. 71.

    ruemara

    As I am currently learning due to my company site transfer to WP, the site is never over. May your long nightmare be done.

  73. 73.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Amir Khalid:

    Agree about Recent Comments. It is almost useless as currently constituted.

    I don’t think the site renovation is over. Still a lot of problems on mobile.

  74. 74.

    Nelle

    Just a question. Are the numbers for comments going to return for mobile devices or are they lost forever?

  79. 79.

    Amir Khalid

    @Just Some Fuckhead:
    I keep seeing complaints that comments are now threaded. If so, then we need a mob to descend upon Alain the site fixer with pitchforks and torches. But I haven’t actually seen any such thing myself,

  81. 81.

    TriassicSands

    I don’t think I’ve ever commented on any of the site changes. It’s not my website and even though I’d prefer things change less often on the Internet, I’m used to it. (Rarely do I find the changes make anything better for me or make browsing or accessing information any easier or more enjoyable. I’m sorry if that means I don’t appreciate the efforts of the people who work so hard to make the changes.)

    I don’t know anything about ads, but possibly the most annoying thing on the Internet is the video ad that comes on automatically and forces the visitor to listen to its noxious message or go searching for it to turn it the f*ck off. On a long linear page like B-J’s the ad may be somewhere far above where I’m reading on the page when it kicks in and I have to go searching to find it and shut it off — because I’m not going to listen to or watch anything that I haven’t chosen to listen to or watch and I’m not going to ever buy anything from or pay any attention to any ad that doesn’t require me to “opt in.”

    I’ve now turned the sound off on my computer when I visit Balloon-Juice, but I’d like it a lot better if the automatic video ad be stricken from the site.

  83. 83.

    Amir Khalid

    @TriassicSands:
    You may have to do it yourself. If you’re on Firefox, fire up Adblock Plus and click on the menu item “open blockable items”. You should see a list appear at the bottom of the screen. Select for blocking any item with “ora.tv” in its URL. That got rid of it for me.

  84. 84.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Nelle:

    I think Alain said he was going to work on that, and other issues with the mobile site, after he finished with the desktop site, which apparently is about done now, according to Cole above.

    I am using the desktop version of the site on my phone, which is all right. There is a toggle switch at the bottom of the page to go back and forth.

  86. 86.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @NotMax:

    I had that problem yesterday. You have to do some little jiggery-pokery thing like go to a different page or go to the main page or leave Balloon Juice and then come back. Then the change takes effect. Sorry I can’t remember which of those it was.

  87. 87.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Steeplejack (phone):

    FYWP!

    NotMax,

    I had that problem yesterday. You have to do some little jiggery-pokery [FYWP!] thing like go to a different page or go to the main page or leave Balloon Juice and then come back. Then the change takes effect. Sorry I can’t remember which of those it was.

  91. 91.

    satby

    @amk: Comment numbers and times. And the font is still tiny. I’m on the road using a Kindle, so I won’t see desktop for a while, but I had totally given up on that months ago.

  93. 93.

    HeartlandLiberal

    I want to make clear that my comments yesterday on the suppression of default behavior of arrow and page key events as being “bad Internet design” was not intended as a slur of Alain’s hardwork, which is obvious, especially to me as a programmer and IT director and consultant since 1982. I was just stating a fact, pages should not intercept those basic events, e.g. one of the worst is pages that intercept the back event, and you cannot escape the page to back up to previous page, but trapping the event is done to keep you one the page. I was just stating a fact. Digging through some of the includes and background code, I suspect that some of it may have been autogenerated by whatever toolkits was using to transform the site, and it may well have been that that some of the event intercepts were unintentional. Anyway, no slur intended, so not necessary to get underwear in a twist when the obvious is pointed out.

    Speaking from those 34 years of experience, I know full well how hard and complex this stuff can be. My experience with WordPress is minimal, but having dug into it enough understand the layer upon layer of objects and events, Alain has my sympathies, and respect.

  100. 100.

    The Other Chuck

    Sent a little tip to Alain, who I know tried to get in touch with me last month or so, but I was having a whole lot of crap happening at the time, so I never got around to responding. It looks like the new theme still works perfectly with MBBJ/EBBJ/TBG, and I don’t imagine that was an accident, so kudos to Alain for working with even an unresponsive third party like myself :)

  101. 101.

    Steeplejack

    @The Other Chuck:

    Hmm, I turned off MBBJ yesterday to test-drive the latest site mods. Guess I should turn it back on to see if it fixes a few things that bug me (e.g., sizing and spacing of nym and time stamp).

    The biggest thing for me is that back-button functionality has returned to the “vanilla” site.

  104. 104.

    Alain the site fixer

    @Amir Khalid: Amir, I’m removing the single widget, re-enabling the two separate widgets, and then I’ll tweak the fonts for it and the design, if necessary. Are you asking for the blogroll to just be a list of links? This is how I found it (not sure what happened to it last fall and don’t remember it from before the change to this theme) so it now just opens that website in the same window. I had it setup previously to pop open a new window but that caused issues for iOS users and those who block pop-ups.

  105. 105.

    Alain the site fixer

    @Keith G: I’ll be doing the mobile site soon. Trying to get all the ducks in a row for the desktop site then copy what’s needed to the mobile plugin.

  107. 107.

    Alain the site fixer

    @HeartlandLiberal: I didn’t take it personally, but thanks for this! I agree on principle that intercepting and disabling controls is a bad thing and I wasn’t doing that intentionally! I didn’t make your code change so if you still think it’s needed, please let me know. In this case, CSS did the trick, believe it or not. i swear, this site is approaching lunar mission level of complexity!

  108. 108.

    Alain the site fixer

    @NotMax: I’m going to investigate that more deeply. I had run into some issues but I thought they were transitory.

  109. 109.

    RaflW

    In my experience, comment eating by FYWP is up about 400%, maybe more.

    I don’t think I’d had a comment eaten in months (and I post a fair amount). In the past 72 hours, probably 5 comments have vanished.

    I don’t know if there is correlation, but I do know it is annoying.

  110. 110.

    HeartlandLiberal

    @Alain the site fixer: Alain, from here keyboard controls, arrows, page up/down, home, end, are all working this morning as far as I can tell. I think you have done a great job, I am retired and do not fondly remember the days and often nights in my career I spent under pressure to fix what was broke and fix it right now if not an hour ago. At age 70, I can do without that stress, trust me. My only technical project right now is to make myself finish the build of my new Fedora email server, to replace my current one, which is so outdated I cannot run an automatic update. Sigh. The pace of change is another thing that I do not miss in computing tech now. Fedora releases a new major release EVERY DAMN YEAR. About six months ago I spent a few weeks and upgraded my Windows server to 2012 R2, and the few WordPress blogs we maintain to latest version of MySql, PhP, and WordPress. That was enough hard work for me for a while, I think. So I do understand the layers of complexity you are dealing with, and appreciate your hard work. Cole should, also, as I am sure he does, as do all the regulars who frequent this watering hole on the InnerTubes.

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