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Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Well I dreamed I saw the knights in armor coming

Well I dreamed I saw the knights in armor coming

by | 226 Comments

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It’s hard for me to imagine that the Republican party isn’t thinking about a white knight candidate who can appeal to non-wingnuts, give David Brooks a boner, etc.  Given how bad Cruz and Trump will be in general election, it’s clearly the smart move.  (On the other hand, we all know what happened to Tessio. )

All the non-Trump, non-Cruz Republican office-holders can think of are low T betas that the  base would never rally behind.  The always awful David Ignatius had an article the other day about military men the GOP could turn to.  It’s quite awful, fawning over St. David Petraeus (it was only a misdemeanor) and describing James Mattis as a “warrior monk”.

But it did get me thinking, is there someone out there with enough manly authoritarian bona fides to steal the hearts of the GOP brownshirt base?  I think the answer is probably “no”.

Reader Interactions

226Comments

  3. 3.

    Soonergrunt

    Mattis isn’t remotely interested in being President, let alone a losing candidate for President. Petraeus might have been, but he won’t stir up the old shit either.
    They might as well go ahead and dig up Reagan’s mouldering corpse and run that.

  4. 4.

    dedc79

    I had thought Scott Walker (for the union busting, voter ID, overcoming the recall effort, etc..), but the primaries proved me wrong.

  5. 5.

    Patricia Kayden

    It’s even harder to imagine the Republican base voting for a candidate who was selected by the elite in November. We’ll see how this all works out for them.

  6. 6.

    Darin

    General Boykin sees himself as a literal Crusader, but I don’t think he has the stature.

    Oh and from reading his wikipedia entry, he’s a Cruz foreign policy advisor. How depressing.

  7. 7.

    SiubhanDuinne

    David Brooks.
    David Petraeus.
    David Ignatius.
    David Gergen.
    David Broder.
    David Brinkley.

    WTF?

  9. 9.

    Yutsano

    Before Petraeus got caught dipping his willie he would have been an easy choice. No way they could get Powell now. I’m sure there’s someone who is either current or ex military they could dredge up but after the Wyoming delegate win today Cruz is making a good run to try and stop Trump. They’re ungestuppt and I think they know it. They really should focus on either spiking the economy if they can or protecting the House. The Senate is an almost guaranteed flip.

  11. 11.

    Roger Moore

    I would say that refusing even to contest the nomination marks the non-candidates as low-T betas by definition. If they were manly enough to deserve the nomination, they would have been in Thunderdome fighting for it all along.

  12. 12.

    redshirt

    We should give thanks there’s no quality Republicans. Imagine the damage they could do if they had a natural orator with charisma.

  13. 13.

    jl

    Baud!?

    He can rip through the smokes, cheap vodka, shrooms and goes balls to the wall at the slots in Vegas.
    Sounds like manly enough warrior cred for the Trumpites.

  20. 20.

    Ruckus

    @Yutsano:

    They really should focus on either spiking the economy if they can

    You do mean in a positive direction don’t you? If you meant negative I can not imagine what they could do that would not hurt them worse than doing nothing. They don’t have the power to trash the economy in 7 months in secret, which it would have to be, although I can see them trying. I can also see that backfiring on them big time.

  21. 21.

    hellslittlestangel

    How about the David Duke without the baggage guy? Isn’t what they’ve wanted all along?

  22. 22.

    Corner Stone

    I’m still wondering who the F calls President Obama “Barry Sotero” in a non-ironic manner?

  23. 23.

    Mnemosyne

    Doesn’t low T make you cranky and aggressive, like a 14-year-old boy?

    … oh, wait, I get it now.

    And I keep telling you guys, it’s going to be Alan Keyes. Wait for it.

  25. 25.

    smith

    @Mnemosyne: When Obama was running for Senate, I had a neighbor who actually had a Keyes yard sign. Have given that house a wide berth ever since.

  26. 26.

    Dee Loralei

    Putin. Seriously, they would put him up there if they could get rid of the pesky natural born citizen thingy.

  28. 28.

    Mnemosyne

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    That’s what makes him the perfect sacrificial lamb. They’ve brought him in as the last-minute desperation candidate before, so I think they’re going to do the same thing again.

  36. 36.

    ? Martin

    Abu al-Baghdadi. Checks the religious fundamentalist box and the hard-ass box. Anti-big government, anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, pro-open carry, not afraid to torture anyone who challenges their exceptionalism.

  38. 38.

    Roger Moore

    @Baud:

    Why would they replace candidates who would lose badly with a non-candidate who would lose badly?

    So they can blame the failure on the candidate rather than the platform.

  44. 44.

    Mnemosyne

    @Baud:

    When you know you have no chance of winning, there’s no reason to burn up a candidate you might be able to run and win with in the future. Alan Keyes will never, ever win anything. He’s the perfect relief pitcher when the game is 13-0 in the bottom of the ninth.

  46. 46.

    hellslittlestangel

    @Mnemosyne: Isn’t Alan Keyes in a locked ward somewhere?

    ETA: Not that he should be denied the nomination on that account.

  50. 50.

    smith

    @Mnemosyne: They ran Keyes in IL because he was black and they figured one black guy is as good as another. In this election they need to find an analogous woman because one woman is as good as another. Palin has already failed, but there are plenty of Palin look-alikes around. Michele Bachman comes to mind.

  53. 53.

    BruceFromOhio

    But it did get me thinking, is there someone out there with enough manly authoritarian bona fides to steal the hearts of the GOP brownshirt base?

    If Gengis Khan could re-materialize to bite the head off a gynecologist while throwing an illegal immigrant over a wall in the desert, that might do it.

  58. 58.

    redshirt

    Are there any current Republican governors that have good “buzz”? I can’t think of any as they all seem like monsters to me.

  59. 59.

    dmsilev

    @smith: I was living in Chicago in 2004 and I saw a couple of Keyes yard signs. Bear in mind I lived in Hyde Park.

    I figure they were there as ironic expression or something like that.

  60. 60.

    jl

    If the wise Benjamin Franklin got his way with a plural executive, the leadership could nominate a cage of rabid wolverines.

  61. 61.

    smith

    @smith: I was going to suggest that the GOP needs its own Margaret Thatcher, but the piefighters one thread down would claim we’re already running her on the Dem side.

  63. 63.

    ThresherK

    @SiubhanDuinne: David Gregory is no prize either.

    (The NBC doofus, not the great XTC guitarist.)

    @hellslittlestangel:

    Tommy Shanks for Mayor – Get Him Out of There

    From a hallway in a (mental) hospital, Tommy asks to get him out of there. “He’d be a great mayor anywhere, but get him out of there.”

  70. 70.

    AkaDad

    There is a white knight candidate that’s appealing to non-wingnuts, but he’s losing to Hillary.

  71. 71.

    smith

    @schrodinger’s cat: The Bundys were arraigned today, and it looks like the session was, shall we say, lively. Of course if the judge is convinced by the arguments from their special Constitution, they might perhaps be available by the time of the convention.

  72. 72.

    jl

    Is there an audioanimatronic Reagan at Disneyworld? Maybe Disney would lease it out for 4 years.
    A ticket backed by a sketchy lease deal would be perfect for establishment GOP. A sure winner with entrepreneurial Trumpeters who like Great Deals.

    Edit: Square Deal, New Deal, Fair Deal, Great Deal. Why has no one considered the lineage of Trump’s main campaign theme?

  79. 79.

    jl

    @dr. bloor: I think it would be irresistible to the id of many Trumpists. But, then, Baud! 2016! hasn’t done anything about the fake ID he needs for the swearing in, so probably will never happen. A pity.

  81. 81.

    Mnemosyne

    @redshirt:

    That’s what Kasich was supposed to be, but he bellyflopped.

    @jl:

    They have animatronic versions of every president at Disneyworld, so why not go back to George Washington or Abraham Lincoln?

  82. 82.

    jl

    @Svensker: I was thinking about nominating the Bundy Gang. Could make up a whole ticket and good chunk of the cabinet with the Bundy Gang. What was the body guard security man’s name, Fuzzy Wabbit or something? Will stick in the mind of lowest info voters. Sure winner.

  84. 84.

    jl

    @Mnemosyne:

    ” why not go back to George Washington or Abraham Lincoln ”

    GOP go with those commie race leveler infidels? You gone nuts, or what?

    Edit: and don’t go talking about some audioanimatronic Hamilton they maybe have stashed in storage. Big gummint, debt loving dollar debaser, and race leveler too.

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    @jl:

    I think their official B-J designation is “the Bundy Bunch.” Gang makes them sound way more competent than they actually are.

  87. 87.

    ruemara

    I’m disappointed that no one thinks I have a shot. I’m black. And a woman. All I need is partial lobotomy, a drug habit and no moral compass and I’d win.

  88. 88.

    Amaranthine RBG

    Just wanted to let the evening crew know in case they missed it – my dermabrasion treatments went fine.

  89. 89.

    jl

    Fuckitall. Get Arnold a fake fucking ID and put him up. The base will rebel at another treacherous commie socialist, but he is pretty corporate friendly. Will keep most of the industry PACs together.

  94. 94.

    jl

    @ruemara: you have displayed very little callous depravity and vile rancid hypocrisy, an no thuggishness at all that I can recall on this blog. Don’t mean to be rude, but I just gotta put that out there straight up. We are talking GOP pres nom, not some Sunday picnic here.

    Edit: I guess there is time to redeem yourself, though, if you get right on it.

  98. 98.

    Mnemosyne

    @jl:

    True, you can’t have any emancipators running on the Republican side this year. Grover Cleveland? Taft?

  99. 99.

    hellslittlestangel

    @jl:

    Is there an audioanimatronic Reagan at Disneyworld?

    Yes but it already served two terms back in the eighties.

  100. 100.

    ruemara

    @jl: Gimme a chance! I could bite Trump’s head off on live TV. I can be callously depraved!

    …

    You’re not talking about eating a lot of ice cream sundaes here, are you?

    @Mnemosyne: Damn, girl. *high five*

  101. 101.

    jl

    @amk: His studio can pay for an audioanimatronic Arny. No problem. Arnold can rule from a hidden, heavily armored command center. Maybe Ailes office, if Ailes will put up with the dirty pinko.

  106. 106.

    jl

    @ruemara: This is the GOP primary. You need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Let us know when we can look you up on youtube insulting Trump’s dick and punching the lights out of some protester.

    Hate to be so harsh, but we are talking GOP land now. Beyond Below Underneath the Valley of the Thunderdome.

  109. 109.

    jl

    @Mnemosyne: You win. I’m outta here. Except, if Disneyworld does have all the zombie presidents ready to go, why are they not coming to the rescue? The walking anagram can’t do a good lease deal for a pres, probably.

  112. 112.

    lollipopguild

    @ruemara: I would pay good money to see you bite Trump’s head off on live TV. We should do it on CNN with Wolf and Anderson.

  115. 115.

    Adam L Silverman

    General Mattis’s actual nickname was, in fact, “the warrior monk”. Its because he never got married, which at the time he entered the Corps was strange. There was a big push in the 80s and 90s for personnel to get married and have families.

  116. 116.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @jl:

    Square Deal, New Deal, Fair Deal, Great Deal. Why has no one considered the lineage of Trump’s main campaign theme?

    Big Deal.

  120. 120.

    jl

    @SiubhanDuinne: You jumping into the campaign now? I don’t think Trump has considered competition from the ‘Big Deal’ platform. Might work. Good luck with it.

  122. 122.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Soonergrunt: Not only don’t I see General Mattis being interested, it would be very difficult for any former CENTCOM Commander to run. To much bad stuff is constantly happening in that Area of Responsibility during their tenure, which creates a large amount of things to chose from in terms of negative ads.

    Hope all is well with you in your new locale.

  124. 124.

    Mnemosyne

    @delk:

    Of course! So adorable!

    I can confirm the rumor that there’s a picture of Daveed Diggs in his underwear in the “Hamilton” book. No wonder it sold out.

  125. 125.

    Jerzy Russian

    @BruceFromOhio:

    If Gengis Khan could re-materialize to bite the head off a gynecologist while throwing an illegal immigrant over a wall in the desert, that might do it.

    I am almost afraid to ask, but does it have to be a gynecologist? Could it be a dermatologist or a podiatrist? What about other professions, like a lawyer or a college professor?

  127. 127.

    Mnemosyne

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Is it this weekend that you may put up a gluten-free recipes thread? I have two cookie recipes for it.

    Also, ruemara always has amazing recipes, many of which are gluten-free.

  131. 131.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    I saw the Ignatius piece the other day, and I think I even brought it up in a thread here. I can’t believe anybody would pay that guy to write something as shitty and badly thought through as that. I could use some work churning out brain dead, worthless drivel, but nobody seems to want to pay me to write any. How does somebody go about getting work like that?

  132. 132.

    jl

    @Jerzy Russian: He could bite the head off an illegal immigrant and throw a gynecologist over a wall in the desert (into a pit of rattlesnakes). How does that sound?

  134. 134.

    kdaug

    LTT, but gotta hit the obvs:

    “I dreamed I met a Gallalian.
    A most amazing man.
    He had that look you very rarely find.
    A haunted, hunted kind”

    And, natch, I’ll find someone posted the at comment #24…

  135. 135.

    Glidwrith

    @ruemara: Biting off Trump’s head could be viewed as a public service, so even in your depravity you are acting morally. You also have a written record of coherency and thinking things through.

  139. 139.

    Adam L Silverman

    @smith: In his case I don’t think that’s what it was. I always, however, always had a sneaking suspicion that some of the emphasis on promoting marriage was a backhanded way of both trying to enforce DADT and narrow down potential violators of it. I can’t prove it. And I’m sure nothing formalized would have ever even been written down, but it just always seemed too convenient.

  145. 145.

    Adam L Silverman

    @redshirt: No, from what I understand he’s had several girlfriends. My understanding is that he was really old school: if the Corps had wanted him to have a wife and family, they would have issued him one. Apparently he was a workaholic and also quite a scholarly/studious type. So monk has sort of a double meaning.

  146. 146.

    jl

    @Glidwrith: Give ruemara: some credit for trying. At least she understands that she has to lose her moral compass. A slow start with some mistakes, but a start.

    I, for one, welcome my GOP President Ruemera overlord, if she can deprave herself in time to get the nom.

  147. 147.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I kind of have a thing for David Corn too, actually. He’s my type, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

    Are you still coming to the Boston area at the end of the month? Hope so – let’s try to meet up.

  149. 149.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mnemosyne: I can try tomorrow night. I have a project to finish tomorrow AM. So provided I get that put to bed in a timely manner, and nothing else wacky happens the rest of the day, I’ll try. I was actually going to put up a recipe for an avocado vinaigrette dressing, but I can make it an all access, open for gluten free recipe posting open thread too.

  150. 150.

    redshirt

    @Adam L Silverman: I was just joking, but it’s also a fact that any man (and woman) at that level of power who’s single raises questions among some. Especially as per your recent comment that a push for marriage within the military was a covert way of exposing homosexuals.

  154. 154.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @efgoldman:

    Hey efg, I believe you mentioned in a long-dead thread a few days ago that you and Mrs. efg are going to be out of town this week at around the time I’d be coming through Providence. Any chance of your being in Boston area next weekend (Saturday) for what I hope will be a BJ meetup?*

    Or back home early part of the following week so I might see you both on my way back to Atlanta?

    * Heads up to any Boston-area Juicers, I will be in your fair city (Watertown, actually) for Passover and a couple of days either side. Looks as though Saturday, April 23, would be best for a get-together (I have concerts to attend Thursday and Sunday). I’ll ask the invaluable Anne Laurie to play switchboard operator for this, if she’s willing; or if you prefer, email me at SiubhanDuinne (at) gmail (dot) com. Hope to see some old friends and meet some new ones.

  155. 155.

    Adam L Silverman

    @redshirt: That was always a sneaking suspicion. I have no evidence for it and certainly am not trying to prove it. It just always seemed to convenient.

  162. 162.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: That is entirely possible. It just always seemed to be a convenient coincidence. My guess is that the official reasons, such as they were, was “if we’re going to have a professional and all volunteer force, we’re going to have to make accommodations for people to make this a career and have a family if we’re going to recruit the type of people we want to recruit. I also think there was a consideration that having a family would ground personnel and avoid a lot of the problems in the military that existed in the immediate aftermath of Vietnam.

  164. 164.

    Glidwrith

    @jl: Nope, she must be pure! Pure, I tell you! The crystallized essence that only true believers dare consume!

  167. 167.

    sdhays

    …is there someone out there with enough manly authoritarian bona fides to steal the hearts of the GOP brownshirt base?

    Surely if one existed, he would already be running. It’s not like there was a high barrier to entry this time around. They totally emptied their “deep bench”…

  169. 169.

    Ruckus

    @Adam L Silverman:
    It’s also a way to help insure conformity. If you are in any way normal you want to support your family and in the military conformity means going along to get along. Rocking the boat is frowned upon a tad.

  171. 171.

    MattF

    Ah. How about fictional, non-human characters? Cthulu? Loki? What does the Constitution say about that?

  172. 172.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @efgoldman:

    BSO Thursday. Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky, Debussy, Ravel, Dutilleux.

    Boston Phil on Sunday. Verdi Requiem. Angela Meade, soprano | Julia Gertseva, mezzo-soprano | Stephen Costello, tenor | Daniel Borowski, bass | Chorus Pro Musica.

    Big fan of Angela Meade, like what I’ve heard of Stephen Costello, don’t know the other soloists.

  178. 178.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: The reality took a big buffeting over the past decade with the repeated deployments for certain segments of the military because of OIF and OEF.

  179. 179.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Adam L Silverman: I was ’87-’92, so I can speak a bit to your comment about the ’80s-’90s. After that, I only know what I know from friends who stayed in.

  180. 180.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: Tracking. I just know too many folks who’s marriages and family life either got seriously frayed because of the op tempo since 2001 or completely ripped apart.

  181. 181.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Shoulders to the wheel, compadres. Arm in arm to the ramparts les citoyens.

    Watertown is really near me and convenient so count me in.

  183. 183.

    Glidwrith

    @MattF: Sorry, Cthulhu is permanently indisposed. I am, at this very minute, sipping from a cup made from his cranium.

    Mmmmm….Cthulhu brain juice.

  189. 189.

    different-church-lady

    @efgoldman: All I know is he did a Mahler 9 a couple of years back that was CRYSTAL CLEAR, and that is not a piece that takes to clarity.

    If one accepts that it’s not a 100% pro orchestra, one can have some wonderful moments with it. They’re inconsistent, but there’s always a spark.

  197. 197.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @efgoldman:

    I don’t know a single thing about him, so will stay out of the conversation until I have a chance to hear/see him for myself.

    (I, on the other hand, have never been a big fan of Robert Shaw, for mostly personal and petty reasons, and am having a very hard time getting through this 100th birthday month in which the few remaining classical announcers at WABE are creaming themselves EVERY DAY paying tribute. Puke.)

  199. 199.

    gwangung

    @MattF: Loki is running on his own ticket.

    Least that’s according to Marvel. And he’s chaotic neutral nowadays.

  201. 201.

    ruemara

    @Ruckus: I think my coffee & sriracha tri-tip, plus the gravy I’ve made from the drippings have given me the urge to live. Or snark.

  207. 207.

    Mai.naem.mobile

    I hear Alabama Governor Robert Bentley is going to be available soon. Clarence Thomas can be his Veep. Or Senator Bread Bags because you know Bentley is just like Bill Clinton,Clarence is exactly like Barack Obama and Sen Bread Bags is exactly like Hillary Clinton.

  209. 209.

    sm*t cl*de

    fawning over St. David Petraeus (it was only a misdemeanor)
    Please tell me that the precedent of Cincinnatus was mentioned.

  211. 211.

    chopper

    @redshirt:

    well the dude has on a number of occasions accused me of working for the CIA. so to me it fits, and ‘that’s personal’ doesn’t fly.

  215. 215.

    SFAW

    I dunno, I think the obvious choice for a manly-man to lead them out of the wilderness is Michael “I’ll Throw You Off This Fucking Balcony” Grimm.

    The first time he said something like that to Hitlary, the entire Rethug base – both crazy and not-quite-as-crazy – would swoon (or cream their jeans or whatever). And then if he actually did it? Oh my! (said in a George Takei voice).

  218. 218.

    prob50

    Ricky Ricardo – fulfills the GOP Cuban candidate prerequisite, makes no less sense than Rubio when he talks, and unlike Cruz is not universally despised. “Looosie, where didju put my Foreign Policy?”

    I woulda said Fred Mertz, but he already ran in 2008 under the name “John McCain”.

  224. 224.

    Bruce Webb

    Eastwood/De Niro 2016

    Tough, crazy, anti-vax, experts at pointing large caliber guns at peoples’ faces and asking reasonable questions like: “Do you feel lucky punk?” and “You talking’ to ME!!” . Even Putin would be tugging his forelock.

    You are welcome.

  225. 225.

    Bob In Portland

    Verizon has also given between $100,000 and $250,000 to the Clinton Foundation, which investigative journalist Ken Silverstein has referred to as a “so-called charitable enterprise [that] has served as a vehicle to launder money and to enrich family friends.” Moreover, the Clinton Foundation has partnered directly with Verizon, which is notorious for its vehement opposition to unions. The corporation is a partner in the Clinton Health Matters Initiative, and said it is “proud to partner with the Clinton Foundation.” Journalist Zaid Jilani reported in AlterNet in October, when Sanders spoke in support of a Verizon strike, that the corporation’s executives and lobbyists had poured money into Clinton’s campaign or PACs. – See more at: http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/#sthash.l8FQ83xo.dpuf

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