Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Joe Biden can go out like FDR, not by dying in office, but by crushing the fascists.

The problem people have with Biden’s age is the color of the VPs skin.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Israel is using food as a weapon of war. Unforgivable.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

When the time comes to make an endorsement, the pain of NYT editors will be palpable as they reluctantly whisper “Biden.”

We’re not going back!

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

You are here: Home / Sports / The Rumors of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

The Rumors of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

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Hi folks, I’m still here with a thousand apologies for seeming like I dropped off the face of the earth not having posted lately. To be perfectly frank, I have not been watching much soccer lately. Life here in Brazil took some unexpected turns, but things are running more smoothly now.

A few quick points:

  1. It tests one’s patience to be an Arsenal fan. I think that their recent inconsistent form shows that they are sorely missing Santi Cazorla to complement Mesut Ozil in midfield. I also think Arsene Wenger, their coach has made some bad choices lately.
  2. In Barcelona’s Nou Camp stadium one wonders whose knees are knocking the loudest: Leo Messi’s, Neymar’s or the coach, Luis Enrique. A month ago the championship seemed almost to be theirs. Now they are in first solely on goal differential with Atlético Madrid. They are out of the Champion’s League, so no chance for more than two trophies this year.
  3. Paris St. Germain won the French Ligue 1 more than a month ago. Are they really that good or is it a combination of the Qatari money and a very uncompetitive league? They are currently 38 points ahead with a plus 71 goal differential. Enjoy it while you can. Zlatan Ibrahamovic’s contract is up this year, and at 34, I think he will be going elsewhere. Edinson Cavani is constantly being bandied about for possible transfers.
  4. it looks like another season Bundesliga 2 for my beloved Kaiserslautern Red Devils. Meanwhile in Bundesliga 1, Bayern Munich continues to roll on.
  5. As pained as I am by Arsenal’s sloppiness, the best Cinderella story in European football now is Leicester City. They have already qualified for next year’s Champions League and are on the cusp of the title. I can live with them winning the title, especially if they keep Tottenham Hotspur from winning.
  6. I did not see the Nigel de Jong foul the other day, but I do remember writing on this site during the 2010 World Cup that he is a red card waiting to happen. it would be nice if he got one now and then.
  7. I really hope that the US Women’s National Team gets pay equity. Three World Cup titles and four Olympic Gold Medals versus zero of each for the men’s team speaks volumes. I’m not knocking the men’s team; I’m merely pointing out the incredible history of the women’s team. Kudos to Tim Howard for having their back.

I will be covering the Euro 2016 Tournament as well as the Copa America Centenary Tournament. I missed you guys.

Reader Interactions

71Comments

  3. 3.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Great to see you back on the front page, Randinho! This has nothing to do with sport, except peripherally (Olympics), but if you feel comfortable commenting on the current political crises in Brazil, I’d be interested in your take. Regardless, cheers and welcome back to BJ.

  6. 6.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    Welcome back!

    I’m sorry your fair country is going through its own political turmoil as well. It sounds like there are no few guys/gals based on the BBC reporting. I hope that who ever ends up on top does what’s best for the people and that things improve soon.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  7. 7.

    guachi

    Our Long National Nightmare (of endless Bernie/Hillary posts) is over! And by a most unexpected means.

    At my last job I had a Brit working with us and I like pretending I knew nothing about soccer around him. He had all sorts of soccer stuff in his cubicle.

  9. 9.

    Mike J

    That Leicester game got my blood going. Who is so stupid to dive and get a red card? And then managing to get a point out of it. Unbelievable.

    I was up til 1:20 the night before watching F1, got up at 5:30 to watch Leicester, then spent 8.5 hours in a WA LD caucus pushing back on brogressive creative interpretation of the rules. Exhausting day.

  13. 13.

    Amir Khalid

    Can Liverpool win the Europa League with Klopp and qualify for the Champions League on sheer willpower?

  17. 17.

    tybee

    sure hope Baud! goes third party if this doesn’t work out tonight for his/its campaign.

  18. 18.

    TaMara (HFG)

    [[waves]]

    I read your posts, hoping for enlightenment. My niece is going to college on a soccer scholarship and I hate to even write these words, I am just not a soccer fan. Please don’t tell her.

    But in my defense, I do like lacrosse, baseball and basketball.

  19. 19.

    Schlemazel (parmesan rancor)

    @Baud:
    You’ll always be #1 in our hearts Baud! Even if they treat you like #2

    Randinho
    Hope everything with you is OK & you are well, safe & sane

  20. 20.

    Brendan in Charlotte

    Let me echo the welcome back! sentiments. I’m all in for Leicester City winning the title. They didn’t look good against West Ham, and lucked out. That being said, the FA is now scared enough that they’ll win it all that they’re inserting themselves trying to derail it. Sounds an awful lot like what the RNC may be planning for Cleveland….

  21. 21.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    Maybe next year for FC Kaiserslautern…I watched a home opener vs. Bayern München a few years back-the atmosphere on Betzenberg is incredible.

    And in the EPL-go Spurs!

  22. 22.

    CaseyL

    Great to see you again! I don’t really follow soccer, but I do enjoy your posts about it.

  25. 25.

    JWR

    Clinton projected to win New York 60-40! (Clapping. Not because I hate Sanders, or because I love Clinton. I just believe she’d make a much better president.)

    PS. Regular reader here, very infrequent leaver of comments.

  26. 26.

    JCJ

    @Amir Khalid: Hi Amir. Did you see that Liverpool – Dortmund game Thursday night? That was unbelievable. I thought of you and BGinCHI. I was on vacation in Holland and people were talking about it the next day.

  29. 29.

    Randinho

    @Jeffro: I’m an Arsenal fan. Enough said.

    @Thor Heyerdahl: i lived there for three years in the seventies. I could see the top of the Betzenberg from my bedroom window. Spent a lot of time at Zick Zack, the supporters bar on the other side of the bahnhof from the stadium.

  31. 31.

    JCJ

    @Jeffro:
    Aren’t Arsenal fans required to dislike Tottenham? I thought you couldn’t get your Gunners ID card without disparaging Spurs.

  33. 33.

    Felanius Kootea

    Welcome back! Someday, if you are so inclined, please tell us what you think about the whole impeachment business with Dilma Rousseff. I know it’s not soccer but I would love your perspective on things.

  34. 34.

    pseudonymous in nc

    The weird-as-fuck Premier League of 2015/16 has repercussions on Euro 2016, if you think that Jamie Vardy and Dele Alli and Harry Kane and some of the other stars of the season deserve a proper run in the England side.

    I’m currently interested in the Championship promotion / PL relegation permutations. Could be that two NE sides go down and one goes up. Without a doubt, two out of three contenders for promotion will be happy on May 7th, and one will be gutted.

  35. 35.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    I don’t have a Bundesliga team, yet. Anyone who wants to sway me, give it a go. Your entreaties will not fall on deaf ears, unlike the Bernie folks quoting from USuncut.

  37. 37.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    Hi Randinho!
    I thought of you in December when I read

    Fine,I’ll coach Chelsea

    on twitter and wondered whether you’d find it funny.

  38. 38.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    @ThresherK (GPad):

    I don’t have a Bundesliga team, yet.

    Any team is fine besides Bayern Munich (the New York Yankees of German Football). You could always go for one of the two in the Ruhr Derby – Schalke or Dortmund (loss to Liverpool aside). Or maybe other teams who have seen success in the past like Moenchengladbach or Leverkusen?

    Or maybe a team that always seems to be plucky – Freiburg? – relegated last year, good chance to be promoted again this year.

    Have wondered for a long time what North American sports would have looked like with league relegation?

  39. 39.

    Mike J

    @Thor Heyerdahl:

    Have wondered for a long time what North American sports would have looked like with league relegation?

    Pawtucket in the bigs and Boston in AAA (if they were lucky). I say this as a Red Sox fan.

  40. 40.

    JCJ

    @ThresherK (GPad):

    HSV is my Bundesliga squad. That is Hamburger Sportverein, not herpes simplex virus. Saw them twice when I went to college in Hamburg during the 1981 – 1982 school year. They were also good then. At least they aren’t on the brink of relegation this year.

  41. 41.

    Jomo

    I agree that Santi is a big loss for Arsenal but Wenger has no excuse for not bringing in more reinforcements. His team has also been playing without inspiration for all of 2016. Yeah – it is really trying to be an Arsenal fan

  42. 42.

    A

    So many things wrong with this.

    First, Arsenal are scum. They’re football’s original carpetbaggers. They’re not even from North London. The arsenal is in Woolwich. North London is only White. Looking forward to seeing one of ManUre or the pikey spammers pip the scum’s asses into the Ropey. Have fun playing Thursday nights Fuck-all-istan.

    Second, Spurs currently have the best offense and defense in the PL. Adds up to a +39 GD. Way beyond the fucking Leicester cnuts, Shitty, and the sh1t gooner scum. Spurs play the most attractive football in the EPL by far. We’re gonna be good for a good long while since we have the youngest starting XI in the PL. So you assorted Red and Blue wankers, sit back and get used to it. Plus, Pochettino is awesome sauce and Arsene is done (although I think gooners who keep calling for Wenger’s head after delivering titles, silverware and consistent CL football to the club for nearly 2 decades are fools, but then they are Arsenal…)

    Third, this Leicester City story is a bigger myth than Bernie’s revolution, which both the English press and NBC have completely lapped up like the mainstream media to Der Drumpf. If you actually watched Leicester play, you’d realize they (and I’m looking at you, you fucking muppet Robert “Pottery Thug” Huth) get away with more bullshit than any team has had a right to all season. Oh yeah, besides being under investigation for financial irregularities, the Foxes are led by a fucking chav racist troll who’s basically the UK trailer trash version of Robert Redford in the Natural. (google Jamie Vardy racist to see the video). Maybe people need to actually research into those annoying pricks before they go all ga-ga over “The Greatest Story in teh History of Sport.” In short, Fuck Leicester City. I’m not even going to say how the next month is going to play out, because it’s too crazy to even think. But stay tuned.

    Fourth, WTF is going on with Barca? UNQUESTIONABLY the best side in the world, and since the El Clasico loss they’ve looked totally tired out and mediocre. Not that I have a problem seeing the Uruguyan Beaver going through a dry spell, but it’s disorienting not hearing Craig Burnley cum all over himself every time Messi scores.

  43. 43.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    @JCJ:

    HSV is my Bundesliga squad.

    HSV – longest streak of any team in the Bundesliga without relegation (since the league formation in 1963)

  47. 47.

    Billy K.

    I can live with them winning the title, especially if they keep Tottenham Hotspur from winning.

    Jeeze, and I thought all the Bernie-bashing here was going to be the most pissed-off I got tonight.

    Gooners piss off. COYS!

  48. 48.

    dedc79

    @A: LC is also a lot less fun to watch. Spurs are relentless on offense and defense. When they lose possession they go right to work winning it back.

    LC play 60 or 70 minutes of defense even against lousy teams, get two fast breaks from their cherry picking (and diving) striker, score on one of them and win 1-0

  50. 50.

    Billy K.

    @A: I’m sometimes speechless at what Poch has done with this team. I never thought I’d see a side this cohesive, fun and deadly in my lifetime. Whether they win it all or not, it’s been a dream season to me.

  51. 51.

    A

    @dedc79:

    Exactly. LC is like Pulisball, except that they have Mahrez and that fucking racist troll up top. Kante has an engine but the rest are playing well over their heads. I’d love to have that head to head fixture back from the winter in spurs’ current form. Fucking bullshit mythmongers.

  52. 52.

    burnspbesq

    Enjoy it while you can. Kane, Alli, and Dier will all be gone before the new stadium opens. Sold to pay for it.

  53. 53.

    A

    @Billy K.: Seriously I never thought I’d be disappointed with only champions league. A bunch of the spurs fans I watch games with at the pub are English and lifelong, and they’ve never seen a side like this in their lifetimes (mainly 30 something’s although I’m closer to 50).

  54. 54.

    Billy K.

    @A: Same here. I’m only eight years a Spur, but the veterans I watch with are in awe.

    And despite burnspbesq’s trolling, the core of this thing is young, came through our system, and are committed to Tottenham. Throw in the new stadium, lots of new money coming in, a surging fanbase, early success…this group is going to be together for some time to come. And they’re going to be terrifying for years.

  57. 57.

    burnspbesq

    @Billy K.:

    If you think that’s trolling, you don’t know your history.

    P.S. Either send Carter-Vickers out on loan next season, or sell him. Don’t let the one of the two best American players of his generation wither on the fucking vine, you dickheads.

  58. 58.

    A

    @burnspbesq: I’m spurs so I’ve seen that movie already, many times over. But I think you’re whistling past the graveyard. Poch is building something in north london, and they know it. There’s a chemistry to spurs that’s really the key to their success this season. While I could eventually see Alli and Dier moving on in a few years, I really think kane will be around a good long while.

  61. 61.

    A

    @burnspbesq: I suspect CCV’s going to get a look in at first team over the summer. Prolly be loaned out given the Belgians pretty much own the center halves.

  62. 62.

    Billy K.

    @A: Kane grew up a in the neighborhood, went through the system, and has basically had all his dreams realized here. Everyone (who isn’t afraid to admit it) knows something amazing is happening at White Hart. Spurs may very well be one of the world’s top five teams – as far as popularity – very soon, as well as a perpetual top four EPL finisher. Why wouldn’t he want to be the face of that? Why wouldn’t he want to be a legend?

    As far as Alli and Dier moving on… we’ll see about that. Did you see Alli’s comments a few days ago?

    “I’d rather retire than play for Arsenal”

    The kid’s got his head on straight.

  63. 63.

    A

    @Billy K.: Indeed. He’s practically a clublegend already in one year (plus goal of the year pretty much seen up too).

    That’s why I say the naysayers are whistling past the graveyard. At least for this season the whole AppleCart has been turned over. Nothing makes sense to the scum, the chavs, the scousers, the plastic mancs…nothing. The play crap football in their 60k stadiums and not even the oil money (for some of them) can save them. They’re just hoping it’s a flash in the pan but I’m thinking with the new money kicking in to all the EPL teams starting next season, we actually may be seeing a taste of what’s to come, ironically.

  65. 65.

    burnspbesq

    @Mike J:

    I remember the year they had Ozzie Ardiles and were going to rule the world forever. That was followed by the year they had Klinsmann and were going to rule the world forever.

    They’ve ruled the world the same number of times that Wile E. Coyote has dined on roadrunner.

  66. 66.

    Jeffro

    @JCJ: My bad (and thanks for your patience everyone who chimed in) – following Premier League soccer is pretty new to me, and I also hadn’t read enough of Randihno’s posts to know he’s an Arsenal guy. Boo, Arsenal! lol

    But of course Billy K put it all better than that. =)

    Anyway, let’s go you Spurs!!

  70. 70.

    Billy K

    @Mike J: Bale was fun to watch for a couple years, but incompetent management couldn’t put a system and/or team around him, and they couldn’t even spend his $150 million bounty properly. That’s why I’m shocked and beside myself with joy this season. They built a top-rate team through the academy and finally hit on a coach who has a plan and can implement it. And they were smart enough to get Baldini out of the way, all just as I was losing faith in Levy.

    It’s a different world, and as “A” said, the big spending teams who buy hardware are acting like petulant children holding their breath and sticking their fingers in their ears.

    But we shall see, eh?

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