Just got back from the zoo with the family. Otters are still the best. My kids insisted that Mom needed a Mother’s Day cake and “Happy Mother’s Day” is a real song.
I need to call mymom now so Open Thread.
Open thread
by David Anderson| 92 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
Baud
Happy Mother’s Day! If you got em, hug em.
eclare
Tried to take mom to the zoo today, they have a new hippo exhibit. Got there at 9:30, wow, packed, cars lined up down the road to get in. Skipped that, but then there was nothing to do! Going this Friday instead.
ETA: was your zoo crowded?
Greg
You would not say otters are the best if they were eating the trout on your favorite fly fishing stream. Grrrrr… :)
bystander
Otters…better than penguins? I think not. But moms? Still the best even if they belong in a zoo.
ThresherK
I can deal with Berniebros on my FB feed. But I blanch at those who post things which suggest my wife is a genuine mom because we have cats (and no kids).
It’s not the same. I don’t need offspring to know this. Yes, she’s a Cat Mom, but on Mother’s Day she misses her mom; she doesn’t expect presents from her cat.
Baud
Haha. The ad on the mobile site is “Conquer Bedwetting.” Perfect for election season.
Miss Bianca
Dear BJ,
Does anyone know of a tactful way to tell one’s boss – who is checking in long distance from his European vacation, and bugging one thru’ his surrogate, the assistant manager – to fuck off and let one handle one’s job? Particularly when said boss has said “he only wants one point of contact” and that point of contact is said assistant manager?
Signed, Perplexed
Iowa Old Lady
@Baud: I believe we were rolling our eyes at our fearful fellow dems using that term.
Around State Fair time I mentioned the butter cow and saw ads for butter afterwards. It’s spooky.
aimai
My two kiddos are cooking dinner for me. I took flowers to our 99 year old neighbor who is the “mother of the whole street” and later I’ll take flowers to my mother who at 84 is on her way back from a mammoth theater weekend in NY so isn’t actually home to receive them. I’m running laundry and reading politics so I guess Mother’s Day is pretty much like any other day.
Chris
Also got back from the zoo, after a lunch with… this one Republican I know (yes, I do still have a few Republican friends and acquaintances) who’s been absolutely the loudest anti-Trump person that I know on her side of the aisle. The latest: in just one week, she’s gone from “absolutely never Trump, I’m writing in someone instead” to “I don’t know… I just don’t know! What am I supposed to do!” Oh yeah, she’s on the fast track to being a Trump groupie.
I really don’t know why it’s disgusting me as much as it has. It’s not like I haven’t been saying for weeks that every one of them was full of shit and would obediently line up behind Trump long before November. It’s not like I haven’t been saying for months that there was really very little daylight between Trump and the other Republicans. And I’ve been saying all along that even if they are sincere in their opposition to Donald Trump, that opposition is still worthless, since it’s only directed at one person and is not in any way translating into a rejection of what he represents – they’ll still support pretty much everything he says as long as it’s a Cruz or a Bush or a Mitt Romney who’s saying it. I am the last person on Earth who should be disappointed when Republicans, whether public figures or the ones I know personally, behave exactly as I predicted they would. But what can I say – apparently, part of me was still hoping that just a few of them would find the integrity (even if it’s not really integrity) to recognize the ugliness for what it is and step away from it just this once.
Joel
Just got a cranky jet lagged toddler down for the night after three hours of wrangling. It’s the least I can do for his mother!
marilynD Southern Oregon
Unbeknownst to me, at 3 am this morning, I was being given the best gift a mother could get…the gift of my daughter’s life. She woke up because she could not breath. Luckily, her boyfriend was with her, and gave her mouth to mouth until she could breath on her own again. She is at urgent care having tests run. Not exactly what I thought I would be doing today. Holding down the fort with my 8 year old grandson….couldn’t give my 95 year old mommy a hug, but I talked with her…..kids, grand kid, big sis and I will celebrate her 96th on the 22nd
the Conster, la Citoyenne
Just got back from daughters taking me to the Taza chocolate factory tour in Somerville, then brunch. The sun just came out after a week straight of cold gray days, so it’s been a great day.
ThresherK
@efgoldman: Baud has a secret plan to for the GOP to Conquer Bedwetting, but we’ll have to wait until he’s inaugurated to find it out.
Villago Delenda Est
Ah, fresh sheets!
Have at it, gang!
Schlemazel Khan
Well, if mentioning bed wetting can drive the ads here why don’t we all agree to put specific phrases in all our posts and see what sort of ads we can induce? I am not sure what a clever thing to add might be so, suggestions anyone?
Till then some rando leavings
Anyone know a good price of a class A motorhome? Something RV, Camper, Recreational vehicle motorhome?
lets see if we can tip the scales
Betty Cracker
My nearly adult kiddo — kidult! — took me to the Harry Potter theme park today. She bought the tickets (with bank transfer assistance from her dad, I’m sure), drove us there and back, everything.
It was lots of fun; we are both devoted HP fans — in fact, her dad and I taught the kid to read using the HP books. Universal has expanded the HP part of the parks considerably since we went a few years back.
So, fun. But weird because my baby is damn near grown. This is the third Mother’s Day since I lost my own excellent mom way too soon. I thought of her often today too, but this year, I felt more like a mom being celebrated than a grieving daughter.
Mnemosyne
@bystander:
The Los Angeles Zoo has an awesome river otter exhibit. They enjoy swimming almost as much as sea lions do.
ETA: Found a video!
Mnemosyne
I still need to call my mom, but she’s trained me not to call by never picking up her damned phone. She did text me to let me know she loves her new Death Star kitchen timer, so that’s good to know.
rikyrah
So, my sister rolls up in my house with a family pack (6lbs) of chicken thighs.
Don’t ask….if there’s a deal to be found on meat, she’ll find it.
I’m old enough to not go ” I’m a single person, WTF am I gonna do with 6 lbs of chicken thighs?”
So, I thank her, and begin to think about possible meals.
So, I came up with homemade Chicken Lo Mein, a Chicken Pasta Salad-Italian Flavored, chicken tacos, and chicken stock for future use.
Yesterday, I was a cutting, skinning, de-boning and marinating fool. Took awhile, but I got everything finished. I have lunch and dinner for the week.
rikyrah
Donald Trump Won’t Rule Out Effort to Remove Paul Ryan as Convention Chairman
May 8, 2016
Donald J. Trump said he would not rule out an effort to remove Representative Paul D. Ryan as chairman of the Republican National Convention if he did not endorse Mr. Trump’s candidacy.
Mr. Trump stopped short of calling for Mr. Ryan, the speaker of the House, to step down from his convention role. But in an interview that aired Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Mr. Trump said there could be consequences in the event that Mr. Ryan continued withholding his support.
“I will give you a very solid answer, if that happens, about one minute after that happens, O.K.?” Mr. Trump said. “There’s no reason to give it right now, but I’ll be very quick with the answer.”
MattF
@efgoldman: So, rumor has it that the DC meet-up is set. Yes?
WaterGirl
Richard Mayhew: I love, love, love otters. I would stay there all day if I could. So jealous.
rikyrah
It’s been 8 years since I lost my mother.
Last October, I lost my last Aunt on either side.
So, this was the first Mother’s Day where I didn’t buy a card for an Elder.
That sorta hit me harder than I thought.
Thinking of the years with my mother, her sisters, and my father’s sisters.
Schlemazel Khan
so THIS article is mostly a twitter war because dr. Jill Stine suggesting the Hillary is a bad mom. It is the typical twitter crap but I didn’t realize dr. Jill Stine refered to herself as dr. Jill Stine. Having worked with non-medical personnel who insist on the doctor nothing turns me off on a person faster.
Anyone know a good price of a class A motorhome? Something RV, Camper, Recreational vehicle motorhome?
lets see if we can tip the scales
Punchy
The strangest animals at the zoo are the otters.
/rimshot
Villago Delenda Est
@Schlemazel Khan: Casino. Casino. Casino.
Brachiator
Saw Captain America: Civil War yesterday. Fun movie. But damn some of the plot was much like Batman v Superman, but done much better.
Will call my mother in Texas later today. We will do a Skype call. Technology can be great. This also reminds me of when I was a kid and she took me to a State Fair exhibition that promised picture phones in our future.
Schlemazel Khan
@Schlemazel Khan:
for some reason I must not have gotten the linky correct : here
@Villago Delenda Est: I like the idea but bet that the trick causes the ‘smart’ filter to miss it there also. I thought about naming politicans we all hate so as to get them to waste money on ads seen by people who will never vote for them. But as many times as the short-fingered vulgarian has been mentioned here we have not seen ads for him yet.
Anyone know a good price of a class A motorhome? Something RV, Camper, Recreational vehicle motorhome?
lets see if we can tip the scales
NotMax
It’s all happening At the Zoo.
Iowa Old Lady
@Betty Cracker: We were there two years ago. I loved it. I ran down Diagon Alley shouting “Take my picture! Take my picture!”
debbie
@Joel:
Can I enlist your aid with the toddler next door who cries all night every night and his parents let him? The lack of sound sleep is beginning to get to me.
MattF
@rikyrah: Actually, I think Trump is right about that. Ryan should not preside at the convention.
WaterGirl
@Baud: Hard day, I imagine. The first Father’s Day after I lost my dad was hard. They had a big billboard on a busy street that said “Everybody has a Dad!”. I was uncharitable enough to think, fuck you, no, everybody does not have a dad. I must have gone with “mad” because sad was too hard. It also made me think about kids without dads when it’s time for the “Daddy/daughter dance”.
We all make so many assumptions about what’s true for everyone without even noticing that they are likely not true at all. Years ago when I still went to church, I met a woman at a church group whose dad would wake her up every night about 3 am and make her go sit in the closet for an hour. She thought everybody’s dad did that so it wasn’t until high school that she talked to anyone about it. :: sigh ::
Sorry I’m rambling. Big hug for you, Baud.
MattF
@WaterGirl: FWIW, I lost both parents quite a while ago– my father about thirty years ago, and my mother ten years after that. Every once in a while I have a dream where I try to find them– but somehow, it just doesn’t happen.
A minor advantage is that you’ve dealt with it, at least to some degree. An old friend of mine (who took care of her parents for many years) now prefers to socialize with orphans.
Princess
This might come in handy for the previous thread. Aristotle’s lost treatise, “On Trolling” has finally been translated. Open access:
http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=10293503&fulltextType=RA&fileId=S2053447716000099
debbie
@WaterGirl:
The greeting card industry makes you miss them. My dad died back in the 1970s. When they started pimping Father’s Day in the late 1980s, I suddenly felt very deprived.
Davebo
@Greg: Worse! Sea Lions and my Salmon.
Ultraviolet Thunder
My mother passed away in August, so we took Grandma (age 99) to her favorite restaurant for dinner. Dad drove and my sister and I rode along. Grandma packed away a generous cut of prime rib, most of a baked potato, a salad and two scoops of ice cream. She loves ice cream. This was worth the 6 hour round trip across the state.
Still gives the best Grandma hugs.
debbie
@marilynD Southern Oregon:
Yikes! I hope they figure out what’s going on very soon.
WaterGirl
@Mnemosyne: Thanks for the video! Sea otters are the best, but even the river otters… sweet faces and I love watching them swim on their backs. Even my breathing slows when I watch them, they just make me happy.
Punchy
@Betty Cracker: HP fans, eh? Before or after Carly’s reign of terror?
RedDirtGirl
@Miss Bianca: Couch it in terms of wanting him to have a relaxing time away. “Leave it to me! You go and enjoy yourself.”
The Dangerman
Used to do Marine Mammal rescue (yup, I’m a pinniped paramedic); otters are by far the best, even when in need of some help (I only worked on one otter, actually; mostly, it was sea lion work).
RedDirtGirl
@marilynD Southern Oregon: (As Quakers like to say) I”ll hold your daughter in the light.
Shana
I’ve had a quiet Mother’s Day. Hubby had to leave this afternoon for a business trip, younger daughter has to prep for a colonoscopy tomorrow. We celebrated last night – erev Mother’s Day according to older daughter at a nice place in Culpepper, VA which is halfway between our house and Charlottesville where older daughter is finishing law school. I got three lovely gifts: a set of Springsteen album label coasters, a book about the Monuments Men and the Hamiltome – autographed!
marilynD Southern Oregon
@debbie: It’s been an agonizingly slow afternoon…the clinic is open until 6….as of 1/2 hour ago, they had figured out pretty much nothing.
RedDirtGirl
@rikyrah: Hugs from a virtual stranger.
Shell
Are zoos the new brunch?
Mnemosyne
@marilynD Southern Oregon:
Ughh. At some point, they may have to get her admitted to the hospital for observation overnight — not fun, but probably less stressful for everyone. I hope all goes well.
marilynD Southern Oregon
@RedDirtGirl: Finally got to talk with my ELCA preacher son…..and just got an email from my daughter. She will be home after she stops off at a pharmacy to pick up some drugs. It’s complicated, but it was musical-chairs/cars last night, between prom night and dates. Her truck ended up at the clinic, so she can drive herself home.
WaterGirl
@rikyrah: I’m sorry. I lost my mom 30 years ago. It gets better.
eclare
@Shell: That’s what I was wondering….
Glidwrith
@WaterGirl: Got your recipe a few threads back. Sounds delicious, thanks!
Mnemosyne
@Shana:
Nice on the Hamiltome! Sounds like someone stood in the enormous bookstore line where LMM was autographing (though I’m blanking on the name of it).
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@rikyrah: Freezer paper makes for great use of family pack chicken. I wrap meal + leftover potions in freezer paper, then put all the wrapped packets into freezer bags. Easy enough to take out the morning/night before dinner. I am also not above baking frozen chicken breasts. Plan about 50% longer cooking time. Ideas here
Mnemosyne
@WaterGirl:
They very wisely installed several seating areas so you can watch the giant river otters frolick around. They’re really big — like the size of a golden retriever — and very playful.
Peale
Yay! I fixed that slow draining bathroom sink. Now it’s a properly draining, but leaky bathroom sink.
WaterGirl
@MattF: That’s the same for me, almost. My mom 30 years ago, my dad 20 years ago. Your dream sounds hard. For about 5 years after I lost my dad I would have dreams where he was alive and we doing things we would have done if he as still alive. They were wonderful dreams, but it was hard to wake up and realize he was still gone.
edit: And yes, what Betty Cracker said. At some point mother’s day isn’t hard because it becomes about the moms who are still with us. But those first few years were very, very hard, at least for me.
WaterGirl
@debbie: The hardest thing for me at first was going out to breakfast or dinner and seeing adults out to eat with their parents. I would think how lucky they are and hope that they appreciated what they have.
WaterGirl
@Ultraviolet Thunder: what a great story. thank you.
edit:
@The Dangerman: What a great thing to do with your life. Thank you.
WaterGirl
@Glidwrith: You are very welcome, but I can’t take the credit. The recipe was from OzarkHillbilly.
WaterGirl
@Mnemosyne: I have never seen them that big! Wow.
edit: new record! 5 comments in a row, talking to myself. yay?
MattF
@WaterGirl: The dream has actually become a way of acknowledging both their presence and their absence in my heart. I think I prefer to have it than not have it.
debbie
@WaterGirl:
Yep, and then, after my mother died, realizing I was an orphan. How odd.
But on a happier note, I am very excited to see Loving Vincent.
JPL
Earlier this morning, I mentioned that mother’s day is torture day for the sons, because I normally have lots of outside chores. Today was removal of wild euonymus. Under one especially tall and hardy patch were dozens of bradford pear shoots. Who knew they had 2 to 3 inch thorns. link We all have puncture wounds and scratches for our effort.
Fun times!
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
I find the parent’s days hard, still, and both mine died 21 years ago. And I try to contact folks who are newer at the no parents thing, and offer support.
It might be a sign of age that people wish you a happy mother’s day – the owner wife of out Indian buffet restaurant hugged did.
WaterGirl
@MattF: I can understand that.
WaterGirl
@debbie: The orphan realization thing is odd, but I had it, too! Even as a grown woman.
Shana
@Mnemosyne: Actually,, I think he bought it on Ebay from someone who did. He said he couldn’t find it anywhere else. First edition is completely sold out. The seller sent some pictures from when she bought it and got it signed.
WaterGirl
@JPL: Ouch! That’s so nice that your kids do that.
I moved to this house in 1984 and my mom died in 1985, so I have spent decades watching the two daughters of the woman across the street come over on mother’s day and plant flowers for her in front of the house. Truly a labor of love!
This year it’s different. My neighbors across the street, who were there when I moved in, are moving across town. So today the girls came over and they hung out in front of the house, but no planting. Though last week they did finally plant some shrubs to cover the front of their ugly cement stoop at the front door. I moved in when the youngest daughter was 4 and now she’s grown with 2 kids and I get to see them grow up. (Time at grandma and grandpa’s!) Definitely the end of an ear. They have been the neighbor who has my house key for more than 30 years. Now what?
I have always thought about organizing a “walk in your neighbor’s shoes” day for our neighborhood. Everybody gets to go to the neighboring houses and see what your own house looks like from their point of view. I’ve never done it, though.
SiubhanDuinne
@Shell:
Not so new. We always used to spend Mother’s Day at Brookfield Zoo back in the ’40s and ’50s. And, if my recollection of the crowds is at all accurate, so did every other family in Chicagoland!
Miss Bianca
To all the mothers in the crowd tonight, a Happy Mother’s Day; to all the “orphan girls” (and boys), my sympathy. My mother has been dead for over twenty years, but – maybe it’s because I’m finally working on a story featuring mother and daughters – I’ve been feeling her presence all day today. In a good way, I hasten to add, not a creepy one. Maybe it’s because I’ve lost any fear of her judgement that I feel that presence as a benign and approving one. It’s been making me go great guns on my writing, which is something I have been neglecting for a while. I may have to dedicate it to her, since the relationship between the sisters in the story has been directly inspired by her and my aunt.
JPL
@WaterGirl: When I saw your pictures, you could see a little of neighbors lawns. It just looked like a friendly environment.
The only reason that I’m not listing my house now is because of the neighbors. The boy next door has one year left of elementary school, so maybe after that. I’m the designated special friend for grandparents day. I’ve only lived here for eight years but my younger son thinks of it as his family home, even though he never lived here.
Matt McIrvin
We live pretty near Canobie Lake Park, a small family-owned amusement park in Salem, NH. May is a pre-season period there and Canobie is open on weekends, but the water stuff isn’t open yet; most of the time, it’s pretty uncrowded and pleasant there in May, not too hot and you can walk right on the rides.
A few years ago, we thought it would be clever to go there for Mother’s Day instead of trying to eat at some restaurant mobbed for brunch. Nope. Turns out on Mother’s Day, mothers get in free!! The crowds were so terrible, it wasn’t worth Sam’s free admission. My daughter immediately demanded chicken fingers, and the line at the crummy chicken-finger stand was half an hour long.
Shell
But do zoos serve Mimosas?
Steve in the ATL
@eclare:
Were cars parked on the greensward? Several of my Memphis friends are hot and bothered about that. My parents across the street from Overton Park have a “Save the Greensward!” sign in their yard, as do most of their neighbors.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Schlemazel Khan:
Dr. Jill Stein is in fact a medical doctor. She graduated from Harvard Medical School, according to Wikipedia. Hope that assuages your irritation.
WaterGirl
@JPL: It is a nice little neighborhood, interesting to hear that comes through even in a photo.
Grandparents day is quite an honor! We humans are funny creatures, aren’t we? Home is home and it’s not based on logic or little details like “I never even lived there”. :-)
Capri
@Miss Bianca: I am halfway through listening to a book on CD titled Feedback – it’s all about how to take situations as a form of feedback and how to receive it and respond in a positive way. Your situation reminded me of a lot of the scenarios in the book. Somehow (haven’t finished it yet), you’re supposed to go meta (what is the really going on here?) without sliding into thinking that your boss is a controlling nut job. Maybe take a step back and try to figure out what is triggering the behavior and responding to that. (as in: “I know it can be spooky to leave projects in other’s hands when I’m across the world, but I’ve delivered before so you have to trust that will deliver this time.”)
My son’s birthday is May 13 and the year he turned 21 that day fell on mother’s day. We spent the day bar hopping and today we resumed the tradition.
Miss Bianca
@Capri: nice thought, nice reminder, thanks!
Ruckus
@Miss Bianca:
I was on a vacation in New Zealand once. My boss wanted me to check in, like I could fix anything from 10,000 miles away. So I called him at 4:00am his time. Fucker wanted me to call, he might as well have to wake up for it. Besides I knew the bars were all closed 2 hours before I called so I also knew the call would be short. Never heard a word about it when I got back.
eclare
@Steve in the ATL: Did not get close enough to see, cars were lined up on whatever street it is that goes by Brooks. But it was around 80, sunny, with a blue sky, so I would assume yes. Lots of backing and forthing over the greensward, and I am firmly in the save the greensward camp. Driving away, did see Mr. Cohen doing yardwork at his house on Kenilworth.
Ruckus
@Miss Bianca:
Moms been gone for 4 yrs, would have just turned 99. Your story of judgement rings true with my mom as well, although we worked out the details 16-17 yrs ago. I finally started talking to her like any other adult (language and content) and she treated me the same. I think she’d been in mom knows best mode for so long it was a bad habit. Once that habit was broken things got better between us, although they really had never been all that bad.
Pogonip
My family IS the zoo.
Happy Mother’s Day to all moms still here; blessed remembrances of those who are not.
CarolDuhart2
My mother passed away last week at 95. Not being a mother myself, I keenly feel the loss today even more. No one to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, and nobody to wish in return.
Mnemosyne
@Capri:
A book I read along those lines that really changed the way I interact with my boss and coworkers was Crucial Conversations. It’s really helpful for helping to figure out what the point of disagreement is with someone when there’s a conflict, plus lots of helpful advice on how not to either lose your temper or piss the other person off.
Mnemosyne
@Ruckus:
I’ve gone through a similar transition with my stepmom, who’s been my only mom for almost 40 years (my widower dad remarried when I was 9). It started happening after I got married and became a Responsible Adult in her eyes, and carried through to our two recent awful years (my dad’s and brother’s deaths).
Miss Bianca
@Mnemosyne: Shit, your father *and* your brother? That’s harsh. I lost my eldest brother a few years ago. Fuck cancer, btw. We had been estranged for a number of years – long ugly story, irrelevant here – but it was still a blow. The only good thing that came of it was reconnecting with his children at the funeral, and their almost pathetic gratitude that I and my sibs were there – they really thought we hated them, and we were squirming around going, “no, it wasn’t like that, really…”. And reconnecting with their mom, my brother’s ex-wife, such an amazingly cool lady.
Mnemosyne
@Miss Bianca:
It was a couple of years apart but, yeah, it has been very tough for her. No one wants to lose a child, even an adult one. And my late brother’s estranged wife is the horrible one I complain about here sometimes. I’m still convinced she’s a clinical narcissist.
Joel
@debbie:: Yikes, that sounds like they need a sleep counselor or behavioral psychiatrist.
Hunter
Hmm — I went to the Zoo, today, too, after calling my stepmother in Florida.
The big draw is still the Japanese macaques, possibly because there are three new ones, born since March 18. The oldest, at seven weeks, is starting to venture away from mama for brief periods, but the other two — about 4 and 3 weeks — are still holding tight to mommy.
There were gazillions of kids, none of whom had volume controls.