@Roger Moore: Your reputation as being an insightful quick draw is intact.
6.
rk
The Donald Trump effect.
7.
joel hanes
It is SO impressive when someone flounces out of the room in self-righteous indignation.
When my third sister was nine, she used to do it about once a week.
We found that the best response was to act as if the episode of self-dramatization had never occurred.
8.
Poopyman
@Prescott Cactus: Must be working the second shift here at BJ.
Me, I gotta get outta here and go home and do some real work.
I hesitate to ask, but was there something in particular which brought this on?
15.
Prescott Cactus
@Poopyman: Used to be late shift. Now I float. Always as a temp.
16.
AkaDad
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea
FUCK YOU ASS HOLE
17.
Betty Cracker
@dmsilev: There was some moron in Cole’s “Rules” thread from last night claiming that a thousand flouncing lurkers would tank the blog’s ad revenue or something along those lines.
UPDATED, 8:55 AM, 5/17/16: Gallagher tells me: “We finally got Google to take down the “permanently closed” notice and have posted a lengthy counter review on Yelp to explain what is going on with the ‘one star’ reviews.”
19.
JPL
John, Is Steve okay? Sometimes birds are hard to digest. Close your windows at night.
Love you, Cole. I came out of lurkerdom a long time ago to oppress you with my love.
27.
Trollhattan
@Iowa Old Lady:
I’m feeling the wave for President Squid!
28.
Miss Bianca
@Iowa Old Lady: OK, that’s it, THAT’S IT. I am so going to the library and getting this book now.
ETA: Ordered! I feel cleansed now.
29.
cintibud
I am delurking to receive my fucks.
Thank you.
30.
OldDave
@Trollhattan: No, Rodger Bumpass is Squidward. I should know, I went to college with him.
31.
ET
@chopper: now that is a never ending (and loosing) battle if every I heard of one……
Oh and John, I met a few lurkers at the DC meetup so hopefully they understand the “love” that comes with that message ;)
32.
James E Powell
I’ve been fairly mellow toward the Sanders & his Never-Surrender people, but after reading his statement today, they can all pound sand. I’m getting flashbacks of Kennedy attacking Carter and all the wonderful things that followed his ego trip.
33.
singfoom
I don’t think this is directed at me, so fuck you too. And the horse you rode in on. And the hitching post.
Cole & Soros light their Cuban cigars with $100 bills, pausing from time to time to share a laugh at or expense.
36.
Mike J
Manu Raju @mkraju 8 minutes ago
REID FURIOUS AT BERNIE’S STATEMENT ON NV, tells me it’s a “silly statement” and says Bernie is “better than that”
37.
RareSanity
Just. Awesome.
I come for the political commentary and stay for the fuck yous.
38.
p.a.
The marginal utility of John’s ‘fuck you’s’ is quite low. There’s so many instances, and so many of the instances are scattershot ‘fuck you all’ instead of being narrowly targeted. Sadly low value ‘fuck’s.
Right on, John. Methinks some of these Berners may actually believe the leftier-than-thou dreck enough to volunteer for the circular firing squad.
54.
Schlemazel Khan
While many may wish I only lurked here I simply can’t do that because I needs all the fucks I can get as I have run out of fucks to give. THANKS FOR THE RELOAD JOHN!
55.
Gelfling 545
@Mike J: I suspect he may be “better that that.” Unfortunately he also seems to be an impulsive sort. I was hoping for wisdom in his candidacy. Instead there seems to be the electoral equivalent of road rage. Sigh.
56.
BuhBye
Sorry to clutter BJ’s page-views count. Sound of footsteps walking away.
57.
Schlemazel Khan
@Major Major Major Major:
A thousand flouncing lurkers would be a great nym but I am sort of married to the schlemazel thing
@Roger Moore: It really is as clear as is the summer sun. If the person you just punched defends themselves, they clearly deserved the original assault.
Q E B
62.
J R in WV
John, fuq you too! ;-)
I’m a little pissed about Bernie and his squad of – henchmen flouncing around the blogatorium. I was kind of hoping that Sanders would provide an alternative viewpoint for Clinton to use in her own policy book. But NOPE!
Sanders has slid down the firehouse pole into the cesspool farther each time he loses another primary, and he becomes ever more impossible as a candidate. He’s not ever going to be the Democratic nominee, and he needs to get off his high-horse and make amends for the crazed bullshite his henchmen have been throwing around.
What a dick. A colossal failure. And his wife Jane appears to have killed off a rather nice little school, as well. A couple bound together in failure.
At least me and Mrs J are happily retired together, with travel plans. Fun experiences planned. Not destroying the most powerful nation on Earth…
Cole, I know you’re frustrated, but look at the number and quality of posts dissecting the trolling from Sanders’ fans. B-J has always had good insight, and better snark, the best snark on the Innertubes!!! And that’s why many of us come here. that and to learn how to make a difference.
I don’t think this is directed at me, so fuck you too. And the horse you rode in on. And the hitching post.
Why does everybody always hate on the horse? Poor animal probably suffers more from his owner than all the rest of us put together.
66.
Cermet
Its an honor to have the legend in his own mind John Cole tell yeah to “Fuck Off!” Thanks for noticing (!) and may your day be bright as your wholesome welcome to us all!
And aside-thanks for helping all of us to have a place to share, bitch, complain and just have a good time! For that, a real thanks!
67.
1,000 Flouncing Lurkers (was fidelioscabinet)
Pace yourself, you misanthropic pineapple-dweller. It’s a long, long way from May to December, and to get there you have to get through November.
@Chris: I learned downstairs that you could attract the support of more of the people-you-want-to-fuck-off demographic if you’d just go easier on the horses they abuse.
69.
Wallace Winfrey
Wait, John, is this directed at me? Oh man.
70.
jl
Cole prefers deranged blog stalking of his blog eminence (it’s almost a top 10,000 political blog that will pay for itself someday, after all, and he expects the respect that is due) to lurking.
Is something wrong with giving people some context when they first comment on the blog? WTF?
Cole just step in some pet poop again, or what?
And whatever happened to the punch in the neck?
Edit: I give John G. Cole one neck punch, repeated as needed.
71.
Suzanne
SNUGGLES!!!! Love you, Cole! HUUUUUGS!
72.
Germy Shoemangler
I don’t want to spoil the party so I’ll go
I would hate my disappointment to show
There’s nothing for me here so I will disappear
If she turns up while I’m gone please let me know
– the beatles
73.
FlipYrWhig
@Mike J: Bernie Sanders is not “better than that.” He’s a tedious, hectoring asshole with no friends and no accomplishments.
74.
Germy Shoemangler
@FlipYrWhig: I think all those cheering crowds would turn anyone’s head. And ever since I read Anne Laurie’s essay on Jane Sanders, I watch her as they both approach the stage. She’s clearly loving it. She does a proud strut to the stage while Bernie grins like he’s the Beatles at Shea Stadium. What a rush!
75.
Bill
Can I get a ruling on what constitutes a “lurker.” I comment, but not that much.
I just don’t want to take more than my allotted share of fucks.
@Bill: A lurker is someone who enters but does not comment. A lurker is like the audience member who is scolded by Chuck Berry for not singing along with “My Ding-a-Ling”
78.
Run, Lillian!
This blog has always been a surprisingly warm and comfortable place given all the fuck yous flying around. Must be all the pet-love.
In 2004, Dr. Sanders became President of Burlington College, then a small commuter school. It was again a "turn-around" position, as the school had serious financial, accreditation and regulatory problems. Sanders, trustees and a dedicated community worked together to resolve the issues, significantly expand the academic degree programs, move to a new campus and become a master's level institution. An unexpected change in Board leadership and a difference in visions for the future direction of the college led to her resignation in 2011. She was given the title of President Emerita, until then a distinction given only to the college’s founder.
83.
NotMax
Right back atcha.
To sir cur, with love.
84.
nickrud
Delurking just long enough to say keep ’em forward.
85.
Gelfling 545
Well, as I used to say when one of my students would come unhinged & resort to that particular phrase: Sweet of you to think of me, but no, thanks.
Harry Reid’s response before and after the Sanders camp issued the statement I posted.
…On Tuesday, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid said he had a “long conversation” with Sanders to lay out what happened in Nevada.
“He said that he condemns that. I’m confident he does,” Reid told reporters. “This is a test of leadership.”
Reid declined to comment when asked if he was worried that Sanders’ backers could upend the national convention this summer.
But Sanders’ statement Tuesday was defiant, saying that the Democratic Party “has a choice: It can open its doors and welcome into the party” his backers or “maintain its status quo.”
“At (the Nevada) convention, the Democratic leadership used its power to prevent a fair and transparent process from taking place,” said Sanders, adding that there have been “zero reports” of violence during his massive rallies across the country.
Asked to respond Tuesday afternoon, Reid was angry, telling CNN it a “silly statement” that “someone else prepared for him.”
“Bernie should say something — not have some silly statement,” Reid said. “Bernie is better than that. … I’m surprised by his statement. I thought he was going to do something different.”
Under capitalism, rich people become powerful. But under socialism, powerful people become rich. When you look at a socialist country like Venezuela, you find that the rulers are fabulously wealthy even as the ordinary citizenry deals with empty supermarket shelves and electricity rationing.
The daughter of Venezuela’s socialist ruler, Hugo Chavez, is the richest individual in Venezuela, worth billions of dollars, according to the Miami-based Diario Las América. In Cuba, Fidel Castro reportedly has lived — pretty much literally — like a king, even as his subjects dwelt in poverty. In the old Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, as Hedrick Smith reported in his The Russians, the Communist Party big shots had lavish country houses and apartments in town stocked with hand-polished fresh fruit, even as the common people stood in line for hours at state-run stores in the hopes of getting staples.
There’s always a lot of talk about free health care, but it’s generally substandard for the masses and fancy for the elite. (The average Cuban or Venezuelan peasant — or Soviet-era Russian — doesn’t get the kind of health care that people at the top get.)
Socialism is the equal sharing of misery while those with political control get everything else.
@Germy Shoemangler: Lurkers can sing alone if they like or not. It’s when they flounce in, assert superiority of argument and opinion based upon unverifiable claims of length of lurking and not evidence or an established reputation based upon contributing, threaten to take away all sources of income based upon their all-important bat and ball clicks being taken away because of flouncing out due to oppression and silencing (such silencing being invariably evidenced by complete domination of an entire thread), all the while putting on the most inspired befuddlement over the use of blockquotes. . . well, at that point, their equine modes of transport and supply chain get mocked.
To be fair, that guy last night was apparently a gen-you-wine Sanders staffer, or at least a troll clever enough to steal the name of a real staffer. I suspect his “lurkerdom” was feigned.
And, really, how low on the totem pole to you have to be to get assigned to troll the 10,000th most popular liberal blog?
@Mnemosyne: I doubted his claims of being a lurker too, well, that and his intelligence and other things based upon his appeals to the authority of a Latin degree and a uniform. Poor digit-slave and/or digital-abled-persona. Never understood the principle that really really annoying people constantly is the way to win them over, but that entirely the entire basis of the cold-calls, advertising industry and some peoples sense of self-worth.
104.
Getting Turgid!
@joel hanes: Don’t forget to fuck Mirelurks. Especially Mirelurk hunters that pop out of nowhere.
105.
EriktheRed
Thank you, Sir, may I have another?
106.
WaterGirl
@FlipYrWhig: So true. I dare say it’s poetic snark. I would love for that to be a rotating tag line. Would one of you people on twitter tweet that suggestion to Cole, please?
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders on Tuesday issued the following statement:
“It is imperative that the Democratic leadership, both nationally and in the states, understand that the political world is changing and that millions of Americans are outraged at establishment politics and establishment economics. The people of this country want a government which represents all of us, not just the 1 percent, super PACs and wealthy campaign contributors.
“The Democratic Party has a choice. It can open its doors and welcome into the party people who are prepared to fight for real economic and social change – people who are willing to take on Wall Street, corporate greed and a fossil fuel industry which is destroying this planet. Or the party can choose to maintain its status quo structure, remain dependent on big-money campaign contributions and be a party with limited participation and limited energy.
“Within the last few days there have been a number of criticisms made against my campaign organization. Party leaders in Nevada, for example, claim that the Sanders campaign has a ‘penchant for violence.’ That is nonsense. Our campaign has held giant rallies all across this country, including in high-crime areas, and there have been zero reports of violence. Our campaign of course believes in non-violent change and it goes without saying that I condemn any and all forms of violence, including the personal harassment of individuals. But, when we speak of violence, I should add here that months ago, during the Nevada campaign, shots were fired into my campaign office in Nevada and apartment housing complex my campaign staff lived in was broken into and ransacked.
“If the Democratic Party is to be successful in November, it is imperative that all state parties treat our campaign supporters with fairness and the respect that they have earned. I am happy to say that has been the case at state conventions in Maine, Alaska, Colorado and Hawaii where good discussions were held and democratic decisions were reached. Unfortunately, that was not the case at the Nevada convention. At that convention the Democratic leadership used its power to prevent a fair and transparent process from taking place. Among other things:
The chair of the convention announced that the convention rules passed on voice vote, when the vote was a clear no-vote. At the very least, the Chair should have allowed for a headcount.
The chair allowed its Credentials Committee to en mass rule that 64 delegates were ineligible without offering an opportunity for 58 of them to be heard. That decision enabled the Clinton campaign to end up with a 30-vote majority.
The chair refused to acknowledge any motions made from the floor or allow votes on them.
The chair refused to accept any petitions for amendments to the rules that were properly submitted.
“These are on top of failures at the precinct and county conventions including trying to depose and then threaten with arrest the Clark County convention credentials chair because she was operating too fairly.”
And a hearty fuck you to you, Mister Cole.
121.
Travels with Charley
I am de-lurking to proclaim that I am defiantly continuing to read Balloon Juice and (most of) the comments! If that is what it takes to ensure a Democrat victory for the White House and Senate…
122.
Chip Daniels
I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if a thousand flouncing lurkers cried out, then were silenced…
123.
Olduvai George
@Travels with Charley: The adjective is “Democratic.” Using the noun as a modifier that way implies an insult. It’s like calling someone a “Jew lawyer.”
Love ya Cole! I’m saving all my fuck yous for Senator and Mrs. Senator Sanders, and I don’t offer them in a spirit of kindness or bonhomie. I mean them like “fuck the Sanders with a rusty chainsaw”.
125.
tastytone
BRAVO, Signor Cole. Bravo.
126.
Rich Webb
Nobody else noticed that the rainbow is upside-down? The shorter wavelengths (violet -> blue) should be on the innermost arc, the longer (orange -> red) ones on the outer.
Jeez… public education these days. And you kids, stay off my lawn! ;-)
Still love ya, Cole.
127.
Omnes Omnibus
@Rich Webb: Most of us were just waiting to see how long it took for you to notice. To be honest, we are rather disappointed in you. We expected better.
Betty Cracker says:
May 17, 2016 at 4:47 pm
@dmsilev: There was some moron in Cole’s “Rules” thread from last night claiming that a thousand flouncing lurkers would tank the blog’s ad revenue or something along those lines.
Out of all the ones I posted, this is what you remember?
I’m rather fond of an Incendiary 308 pipe revolver rifle for mirelurks smaller than the queen.
Sets ’em on fire for 15 damage points without the need to hit them in the face.
Seven hits on the shell and Bob’s your uncle — or about four shots to the face at close range.
It’s also great fun to turn on the siren on the top of the Lynn Wood tower and set the resulting deathclaws aflame whilst out of their reach.
In olden days a glimps of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
The Democratic Party’s doors are open to anyone who can be bothered to timely register as a member.
Always have been.
All you gotta do is check the right box on your voter registration before the deadline.
It’s really unfortunate that so many of Sen. Sanders’s supporters are apparently too uninformed or inept to meet that one simple requirement, but there it is.
It’s really unfortunate that so many of Sen. Sanders’s supporters are apparently too uninformed or inept to meet that one simple requirement, but there it is.
Selfish and clueless is no way to go through life, bros. Set aside your privilege, and join our coalition of the willing and informed.
@Omnes Omnibus: Mea culpa. Late getting home from the vet. Old Cat is now on two BID meds but she’s hanging in there. She totally charmed the vet’s assistant, thought I’d have to smuggle her out (the cat, not the assistant).
I mean them like “fuck the Sanders with a rusty chainsaw”.
I know, right? SO DONE WITH BERNIE FUCKING SANDERS. If we can get the old coot to go home, Obama will come off the sidelines. Not just Obama, but No Fucks Left To Give Obama. EN FUEGO Obama.
Go home Bernie, while your wife still isn’t under indictment (**IRONY ALERT**). She’ll need to find the tax returns for the diocese’s and bank’s lawyers, if she hasn’t already.
140.
danielx
In these uncertain times, it’s good to know that you can count on some things.
Fuck you very much too, Cole.
141.
Josie
Late to the party, due to taking care of my astoundingly wonderful grand daughter, but just wanted to say that I love you, John Cole. I hope you never quit telling us your honest, no bullshit opinions.
I’ve said it before: cranky Cole is the BEST Cole. And also chiming in on singing the praises of this place. You’ve literally helped me maintain my sanity over the last three months. Merci beaucoup.
144.
Formerly disgruntled Clinton supporter
Give us hell, Cole!
145.
planetjanet
@ET: Coming out of lurk mode to report for duty. So nice to meet you last night, ET. And Vicki and EFG and Matt F.
Roger Moore
Right back at you, Mr. Cole.
Prescott Cactus
That’s the John Cole we know and love.
chopper
i noticed you were fighting idiots on twitter.
Poopyman
Called it.
Prescott Cactus
@Roger Moore: Your reputation as being an insightful quick draw is intact.
rk
The Donald Trump effect.
joel hanes
It is SO impressive when someone flounces out of the room in self-righteous indignation.
When my third sister was nine, she used to do it about once a week.
We found that the best response was to act as if the episode of self-dramatization had never occurred.
Poopyman
@Prescott Cactus: Must be working the second shift here at BJ.
Me, I gotta get outta here and go home and do some real work.
See yinz.
Iowa Old Lady
That is so how I feel today.
Trinity
Give ’em hell John.
Gin & Tonic
I feel better already.
schrodinger's cat
I thought you were more round than square.
Trollhattan
@schrodinger’s cat:
Cole is definitely Squidward.
dmsilev
I hesitate to ask, but was there something in particular which brought this on?
Prescott Cactus
@Poopyman: Used to be late shift. Now I float. Always as a temp.
AkaDad
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea
FUCK YOU ASS HOLE
Betty Cracker
@dmsilev: There was some moron in Cole’s “Rules” thread from last night claiming that a thousand flouncing lurkers would tank the blog’s ad revenue or something along those lines.
Mike J
https://www.ralstonreports.com/blog/business-state-democratic-chairwoman-oversees-targeted-berners
JPL
John, Is Steve okay? Sometimes birds are hard to digest. Close your windows at night.
Iowa Old Lady
@Trollhattan: This picture book is for all President Squid supporters.
The Red Pen
Am I a lurker? I hardly ever comment.
Patricia Kayden
Hilarious post, John. And so succinct. This is exactly what we need in the Age of Trump.
The Dangerman
Spongebob sure has big hands (so sorry, Donald) but it looks like his body was cut off at the waist; that’s gotta suck.
Chyron HR
@Mike J:
That never happened, and she deserved it anyways, and the Democratic establishment is worse.
p.a.
@Betty Cracker: this blog makes money??!!
Miss Bianca
Love you, Cole. I came out of lurkerdom a long time ago to oppress you with my love.
Trollhattan
@Iowa Old Lady:
I’m feeling the wave for President Squid!
Miss Bianca
@Iowa Old Lady: OK, that’s it, THAT’S IT. I am so going to the library and getting this book now.
ETA: Ordered! I feel cleansed now.
cintibud
I am delurking to receive my fucks.
Thank you.
OldDave
@Trollhattan: No, Rodger Bumpass is Squidward. I should know, I went to college with him.
ET
@chopper: now that is a never ending (and loosing) battle if every I heard of one……
Oh and John, I met a few lurkers at the DC meetup so hopefully they understand the “love” that comes with that message ;)
James E Powell
I’ve been fairly mellow toward the Sanders & his Never-Surrender people, but after reading his statement today, they can all pound sand. I’m getting flashbacks of Kennedy attacking Carter and all the wonderful things that followed his ego trip.
singfoom
I don’t think this is directed at me, so fuck you too. And the horse you rode in on. And the hitching post.
Iowa Old Lady
@Trollhattan: @Miss Bianca: Have fun!
ETA: Also note it was published in March, so it’s been in the works for at least a year. They had no idea how prophetic the books was.
James E Powell
@p.a.:
Cole & Soros light their Cuban cigars with $100 bills, pausing from time to time to share a laugh at or expense.
Mike J
RareSanity
Just. Awesome.
I come for the political commentary and stay for the fuck yous.
p.a.
The marginal utility of John’s ‘fuck you’s’ is quite low. There’s so many instances, and so many of the instances are scattershot ‘fuck you all’ instead of being narrowly targeted. Sadly low value ‘fuck’s.
Roger Moore
@Prescott Cactus:
I’m just inspired by the brilliant quality of the original post.
AkaDad
I’ve been here longer than most of you so I can interpret what Cole is really trying to say.
You guyz are the best commenters in the world and I wish I could hug every last one of you.
Mike J
Nevada State Democratic Party replies to Sanders:
Mnemosyne
I love you, John Cole.
M. Bouffant
Get this: Fuck that!
I don’t owe you fuckers anything
And all I’ve got to say is fuck yooooooou!!
(The sky is bluuuuuuue …)
Prescott Cactus
@Roger Moore: How true. Claude Money used to say: “Just look at the damn picture”
Major Major Major Major
@Betty Cracker: “A Thousand Flouncing Lurkers” would be a good name for… something Lovecraftian
Mnemosyne
@The Dangerman:
According to Wikipedia, most sponges are hermaphrodites.
Now I *really* don’t need to know why Spongebob always wears pants.
EBT
If half the people who offered followed through I’d never need to dilate.
Roger Moore
@Mike J:
Meaningless; it’s put out by the same people who were cheating to help Clinton in the first place./bernfeeler
BretH
This may cheer you up:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2016/05/17/va-congressional-candidate-shares-screenshot-with-porn-tabs/?hpid=hp_local-news_mikewebporn140pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory
Joel
@joel hanes: The internet terminology is GBCW.
AkaDad
I’d lurk way more if I knew I could get double the fucks.
ET
@EBT: You stole my initials……..
Ev
Right on, John. Methinks some of these Berners may actually believe the leftier-than-thou dreck enough to volunteer for the circular firing squad.
Schlemazel Khan
While many may wish I only lurked here I simply can’t do that because I needs all the fucks I can get as I have run out of fucks to give. THANKS FOR THE RELOAD JOHN!
Gelfling 545
@Mike J: I suspect he may be “better that that.” Unfortunately he also seems to be an impulsive sort. I was hoping for wisdom in his candidacy. Instead there seems to be the electoral equivalent of road rage. Sigh.
BuhBye
Sorry to clutter BJ’s page-views count. Sound of footsteps walking away.
Schlemazel Khan
@Major Major Major Major:
A thousand flouncing lurkers would be a great nym but I am sort of married to the schlemazel thing
shirk
Fuck you, I’m still lurking.
Major Major Major Major
@Schlemazel Khan: And what could be more Lovecraftian than a BJ commenter??
Schlemazel Khan
@Major Major Major Major:
In his house at b’loonjuz, dead flouncing lurker waits dreaming
scav
@Roger Moore: It really is as clear as is the summer sun. If the person you just punched defends themselves, they clearly deserved the original assault.
Q E B
J R in WV
John, fuq you too! ;-)
I’m a little pissed about Bernie and his squad of – henchmen flouncing around the blogatorium. I was kind of hoping that Sanders would provide an alternative viewpoint for Clinton to use in her own policy book. But NOPE!
Sanders has slid down the firehouse pole into the cesspool farther each time he loses another primary, and he becomes ever more impossible as a candidate. He’s not ever going to be the Democratic nominee, and he needs to get off his high-horse and make amends for the crazed bullshite his henchmen have been throwing around.
What a dick. A colossal failure. And his wife Jane appears to have killed off a rather nice little school, as well. A couple bound together in failure.
At least me and Mrs J are happily retired together, with travel plans. Fun experiences planned. Not destroying the most powerful nation on Earth…
Cole, I know you’re frustrated, but look at the number and quality of posts dissecting the trolling from Sanders’ fans. B-J has always had good insight, and better snark, the best snark on the Innertubes!!! And that’s why many of us come here. that and to learn how to make a difference.
Thanks for all you do for B-J!! Hang in there.
joel hanes
@Joel:
Thanks. Been on the internet a while, never encountered that one.
But then, I have never claimed to be aware of _all_ internet traditions.
scav
how meta — shirk shirked lurking to assert lurking.
Chris
I probably deserve it, but fuck you too.
@singfoom:
Why does everybody always hate on the horse? Poor animal probably suffers more from his owner than all the rest of us put together.
Cermet
Its an honor to have the legend in his own mind John Cole tell yeah to “Fuck Off!” Thanks for noticing (!) and may your day be bright as your wholesome welcome to us all!
And aside-thanks for helping all of us to have a place to share, bitch, complain and just have a good time! For that, a real thanks!
1,000 Flouncing Lurkers (was fidelioscabinet)
Pace yourself, you misanthropic pineapple-dweller. It’s a long, long way from May to December, and to get there you have to get through November.
Major Major Major Major
@Chris: I learned downstairs that you could attract the support of more of the people-you-want-to-fuck-off demographic if you’d just go easier on the horses they abuse.
Wallace Winfrey
Wait, John, is this directed at me? Oh man.
jl
Cole prefers deranged blog stalking of his blog eminence (it’s almost a top 10,000 political blog that will pay for itself someday, after all, and he expects the respect that is due) to lurking.
Is something wrong with giving people some context when they first comment on the blog? WTF?
Cole just step in some pet poop again, or what?
And whatever happened to the punch in the neck?
Edit: I give John G. Cole one neck punch, repeated as needed.
Suzanne
SNUGGLES!!!! Love you, Cole! HUUUUUGS!
Germy Shoemangler
FlipYrWhig
@Mike J: Bernie Sanders is not “better than that.” He’s a tedious, hectoring asshole with no friends and no accomplishments.
Germy Shoemangler
@FlipYrWhig: I think all those cheering crowds would turn anyone’s head. And ever since I read Anne Laurie’s essay on Jane Sanders, I watch her as they both approach the stage. She’s clearly loving it. She does a proud strut to the stage while Bernie grins like he’s the Beatles at Shea Stadium. What a rush!
Bill
Can I get a ruling on what constitutes a “lurker.” I comment, but not that much.
I just don’t want to take more than my allotted share of fucks.
schrodinger's cat
@Bill: If you comment, then you are not a lurker.
Germy Shoemangler
@Bill: A lurker is someone who enters but does not comment. A lurker is like the audience member who is scolded by Chuck Berry for not singing along with “My Ding-a-Ling”
Run, Lillian!
This blog has always been a surprisingly warm and comfortable place given all the fuck yous flying around. Must be all the pet-love.
Been lurking since 2008 and not going anywhere.
Major Major Major Major
@Run, Lillian!: Fuck you.
Mnemosyne
@jl:
Cole probably opened his email to see that all of the lurkers have taken our advice and sent their complaints to him in ALL CAPS!
FlipYrWhig
@Germy Shoemangler: I’m sure it helps take her mind off the college she killed by being an inept crony of an influential local politician.
Germy Shoemangler
@FlipYrWhig: She’s here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jane-o-meara-sanders-a4a6741b
In 2004, Dr. Sanders became President of Burlington College, then a small commuter school. It was again a "turn-around" position, as the school had serious financial, accreditation and regulatory problems. Sanders, trustees and a dedicated community worked together to resolve the issues, significantly expand the academic degree programs, move to a new campus and become a master's level institution. An unexpected change in Board leadership and a difference in visions for the future direction of the college led to her resignation in 2011. She was given the title of President Emerita, until then a distinction given only to the college’s founder.
NotMax
Right back atcha.
To
sircur, with love.nickrud
Delurking just long enough to say keep ’em forward.
Gelfling 545
Well, as I used to say when one of my students would come unhinged & resort to that particular phrase: Sweet of you to think of me, but no, thanks.
FlipYrWhig
@Germy Shoemangler: I think Carly Fiorina tells a similar story.
lamh36
Harry Reid’s response before and after the Sanders camp issued the statement I posted.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/17/politics/democrat-bernie-sanders-revolt/index.html
debbie
@JPL:
Search has failed me again. Is this serious or snark?
Martha from Augusta
JC, if this is some sort of hamfisted attempt to get me to delink, I’ll have you know that it won’t be successful.
Ramping Up
Marxism once again proven a failure by Venezuela.
Money quotes:
Socialism is the equal sharing of misery while those with political control get everything else.
scav
@Germy Shoemangler: Lurkers can sing alone if they like or not. It’s when they flounce in, assert superiority of argument and opinion based upon unverifiable claims of length of lurking and not evidence or an established reputation based upon contributing, threaten to take away all sources of income based upon their all-important bat and ball clicks being taken away because of flouncing out due to oppression and silencing (such silencing being invariably evidenced by complete domination of an entire thread), all the while putting on the most inspired befuddlement over the use of blockquotes. . . well, at that point, their equine modes of transport and supply chain get mocked.
Martha from Augusta
Wait. What?
Run, Lillian!
@Major Major Major Major:
Back at you, friend! May warm, fuzzy pet pics fill the rest of your day.
Mnemosyne
@scav:
To be fair, that guy last night was apparently a gen-you-wine Sanders staffer, or at least a troll clever enough to steal the name of a real staffer. I suspect his “lurkerdom” was feigned.
And, really, how low on the totem pole to you have to be to get assigned to troll the 10,000th most popular liberal blog?
joel hanes
@Major Major Major Major:
Fuck feral ghouls, supermutants, raiders, Forged, Gunners, and mines that aren’t mine.
Major Major Major Major
Venezuela sucks, so you better get ready for president Trump! Now that’s some quality trolling.
crshark
Cole, I was all worried you weren’t up to speed, but now my chiffon is wet and I need a cigarette…
God d@ammit, I LOVE THIS BLOG!!!
Prescott Cactus
@Schlemazel Khan: That’s just waiting to be made into a haiku.
ET
I am just hoping John reads each and every comment on this post and he sees how much everyone here appreciates his generous offer of fucks.
Major Major Major Major
@joel hanes: I like raiders. Their limbs pop off good.
WaterGirl
@Major Major Major Major:
That would make a great rotating tag line!
FlipYrWhig
@WaterGirl: It’s like a mash-up of the “Dancing Wu-Li Masters,” “Twelve Dancing Princesses,” and “Two Thousand Maniacs.”
scav
@Mnemosyne: I doubted his claims of being a lurker too, well, that and his intelligence and other things based upon his appeals to the authority of a Latin degree and a uniform. Poor digit-slave and/or digital-abled-persona. Never understood the principle that really really annoying people constantly is the way to win them over, but that entirely the entire basis of the cold-calls, advertising industry and some peoples sense of self-worth.
Getting Turgid!
@joel hanes: Don’t forget to fuck Mirelurks. Especially Mirelurk hunters that pop out of nowhere.
EriktheRed
Thank you, Sir, may I have another?
WaterGirl
@FlipYrWhig: So true. I dare say it’s poetic snark. I would love for that to be a rotating tag line. Would one of you people on twitter tweet that suggestion to Cole, please?
Tim C.
We love you John…. come on in for a hug!
Major Major Major Major
@Getting Turgid!: Fuck them in the face with a submachine gun.
Richard Mayhew
@Mnemosyne: and the #1 Google result for “skull fucking A kitten”
We have standards here
DCF
My lone regret is that I have but one ‘F*** You’ left to give to Balloon Juice:
Fuck You – Lily Allen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK4fJhbRL1g
Mnemosyne
@scav:
He had a certain eau de Paulite, but it may just be me.
Elie
@Mnemosyne:
I echo that : I love you, man….
Lit3Bolt
I used to read Balloon Juice…but…*sigh*….
…this place has become so UNWELCOMING to TRUE progressives…
/s
Seriously tho, can we turn that into a tag?
Major Major Major Major
@Mnemosyne: What happened? Or a linky?
EBT
@ET: @Major Major Major Major: Brietbart commenter
AllPowerfulGenie
Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Did you rub my lamp??
scav
@Mnemosyne: I keep reading that to rhyme with Eau de Toi·lette. Intentional?
Zifnab
Haven’t posted here in years.
Just want you to know I am deeply offended.
rikyrah
LOL Cole
Bob In Portland
Re: Nevada caucuses.
And a hearty fuck you to you, Mister Cole.
Travels with Charley
I am de-lurking to proclaim that I am defiantly continuing to read Balloon Juice and (most of) the comments! If that is what it takes to ensure a Democrat victory for the White House and Senate…
Chip Daniels
I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if a thousand flouncing lurkers cried out, then were silenced…
Olduvai George
@Travels with Charley: The adjective is “Democratic.” Using the noun as a modifier that way implies an insult. It’s like calling someone a “Jew lawyer.”
satby
Love ya Cole! I’m saving all my fuck yous for Senator and Mrs. Senator Sanders, and I don’t offer them in a spirit of kindness or bonhomie. I mean them like “fuck the Sanders with a rusty chainsaw”.
tastytone
BRAVO, Signor Cole. Bravo.
Rich Webb
Nobody else noticed that the rainbow is upside-down? The shorter wavelengths (violet -> blue) should be on the innermost arc, the longer (orange -> red) ones on the outer.
Jeez… public education these days. And you kids, stay off my lawn! ;-)
Still love ya, Cole.
Omnes Omnibus
@Rich Webb: Most of us were just waiting to see how long it took for you to notice. To be honest, we are rather disappointed in you. We expected better.
Jonathan Holland Becnel
@Betty Cracker:
Out of all the ones I posted, this is what you remember?
joel hanes
@Major Major Major Major:
with a submachine gun.
I’m rather fond of an Incendiary 308 pipe revolver rifle for mirelurks smaller than the queen.
Sets ’em on fire for 15 damage points without the need to hit them in the face.
Seven hits on the shell and Bob’s your uncle — or about four shots to the face at close range.
It’s also great fun to turn on the siren on the top of the Lynn Wood tower and set the resulting deathclaws aflame whilst out of their reach.
In olden days a glimps of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
Jonathan Holland Becnel
@Ramping Up:
Sucks there’s so much corruption out there. What’s your opinion about the Socialist aspects of Scandinavia?
Jonathan Holland Becnel
FWIW Kos has a virulently Anti-Sanders meltdown if yall wanna go check it out!
joel hanes
@Bob In Portland:
The Democratic Party’s doors are open to anyone who can be bothered to timely register as a member.
Always have been.
All you gotta do is check the right box on your voter registration before the deadline.
It’s really unfortunate that so many of Sen. Sanders’s supporters are apparently too uninformed or inept to meet that one simple requirement, but there it is.
joel hanes
@Zifnab:
Haven’t posted here in years.
Yet some of us remember you.
Hell, I remember Truculent and Unreliable.
La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)
Love you too, Cole.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
No Fucks Left To Give Cole is the best Cole. Obama has shown us Obots the NFLTG way of the liberal Democratic warrior. Thanks, Obama!
Carry on, and shoulders to the wheel of progress, compadres of the coalition.
@joel hanes:
Selfish and clueless is no way to go through life, bros. Set aside your privilege, and join our coalition of the willing and informed.
KS in MA
@RareSanity: This.
Rich Webb
@Omnes Omnibus: Mea culpa. Late getting home from the vet. Old Cat is now on two BID meds but she’s hanging in there. She totally charmed the vet’s assistant, thought I’d have to smuggle her out (the cat, not the assistant).
TheBuhJaysus
That’s it. I’m gonna lurk so goddamn hard.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
@satby:
I know, right? SO DONE WITH BERNIE FUCKING SANDERS. If we can get the old coot to go home, Obama will come off the sidelines. Not just Obama, but No Fucks Left To Give Obama. EN FUEGO Obama.
Go home Bernie, while your wife still isn’t under indictment (**IRONY ALERT**). She’ll need to find the tax returns for the diocese’s and bank’s lawyers, if she hasn’t already.
danielx
In these uncertain times, it’s good to know that you can count on some things.
Fuck you very much too, Cole.
Josie
Late to the party, due to taking care of my astoundingly wonderful grand daughter, but just wanted to say that I love you, John Cole. I hope you never quit telling us your honest, no bullshit opinions.
Johannes
@La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes): Milady speaks for me too, Cole!
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
I’ve said it before: cranky Cole is the BEST Cole. And also chiming in on singing the praises of this place. You’ve literally helped me maintain my sanity over the last three months. Merci beaucoup.
Formerly disgruntled Clinton supporter
Give us hell, Cole!
planetjanet
@ET: Coming out of lurk mode to report for duty. So nice to meet you last night, ET. And Vicki and EFG and Matt F.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
@FlipYrWhig:
OUCH, but you nailed it. That’s the dynamic duo.
imonlylurking
Welcome to the no-longer-lurkers. You broke your silence-no take backs.
Pet pictures, please.
different-church-lady
Pffew… I’m off the hook.