Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

So many bastards, so little time.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

Republicans in disarray!

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

This fight is for everything.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

The current Supreme Court is a rogue court. Very dangerous.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / Late Night Open Thread: Funnier Than the *Actual* SNL

Late Night Open Thread: Funnier Than the *Actual* SNL

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Working comedy professionals oughta sue this guy for stealing their livelihoods. How do you satirize a parody?

Reader Interactions

200Comments

  2. 2.

    Major Major Major Major

    That reminds me of a New Yorker cartoon from their “every cartoon is about Trump” issue. A cartoonist is seated at his desk and his wife barges into the room. “Honey, stop! That trump cartoon you came up with this morning just happened!”

    OT: yum, saag paneer.

  3. 3.

    dmsilev

    Has anyone considered the possibility that Donald Trump will choose an actual American flag as his running mate?

    The version with the gold tassels, of course.

  4. 4.

    Emma

    I think I’m going to go read some Torchwood fanfiction. It’s more realistic than this damned presidential election!

  10. 10.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Major Major Major Major: @Emma: that actually happened four years ago. The new, this week, Dalek story is that the one in the lobby of the BBC headquarters has a number of bacteria in that show promise as antibiotics in dealing with resistant strains.

  11. 11.

    Jeffro

    Picture HRC or any Dem EVER randomly asking the crowd for suggestions for VP, then actually physically hugging an American flag on stage. The election would pre-emptively be declared over, with terms to be negotiated and then signed on the deck of some battleship anchored in Va Beach.

    The guy has dementia – either by age, by his experiences and prejudices, by his narcissist pathology, or all of the above. I’m actually ok if the GOP stages some sort of coup at their convention and replaces him with another, more general-election-palatable candidate, because Trump really is that far gone. Holy cow.

  15. 15.

    Gravenstone

    The End Times are truly upon us. I just saw a commercial featuring a cover of “Makin’ It” by David Naughton.

  19. 19.

    dmsilev

    @amk: I’m sure that four years from now, the GOP will manage to hork up someone even worse than Trump, but for the life of me I can’t see how that’s possible. I guess we’ll find out.

  21. 21.

    gf120581

    In all seriousness, does anyone have any clue who might be his actual running mate? Because at this rate, I can’t see why any Republican with a shred of a political future will want to be anywhere near this disaster.

    Unless, of course, the plan is to pick a competent running mate, get them elected, then promptly impeach Trump and make the Veep the guy in charge.

  23. 23.

    sm*t cl*de

    @dmsilev:

    four years from now, the GOP will manage to hork up someone even worse than Trump, but for the life of me I can’t see how that’s possible

    I was hoping for David Mascavige, if only for the spectacle of the Fundies embracing a scientologist as one of themselves.

  25. 25.

    Adam L Silverman

    @RepubAnon:
    http://www.usflag.org/uscode36.html
    UNITED STATES CODE TITLE 36 CHAPTER 10 §176. Respect for flag

    No disrespect should be shown to the flag of the United States of America; the flag should not be dipped to any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are to be dipped as a mark of honor.
    (a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.
    (b) The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise.
    (c) The flag should never be carried flat or horizontally, but always aloft and free.
    (d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker’s desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general.
    (e) The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way.
    (f) The flag should never be used as a covering for a ceiling.
    (g) The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.
    (h) The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.
    (i) The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.
    (j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart.
    (k) The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning.

  27. 27.

    Emma

    Unless, of course, the plan is to pick a competent running mate, get them elected, then promptly impeach Trump and make the Veep the guy in charge.

    Only if they want riots in cities and open warfare in rural areas. They’ve lost control of that train, FSM help us all.

  29. 29.

    WaterGirl

    @Emma: You said: ” I thought you were taking the piss…

    Curious: That is a phrase I am unfamiliar with – does that basically mean you thought he was joking or that he was putting you on or pulling your leg?

  32. 32.

    Ruckus

    @Major Major Major Major:
    Had an employee who had worked for Rolls Royce Aircraft, the makers of jet engines. Told us that there was a pond out behind the plant that folks would sit by and eat lunch. One day the company decided that the pond needed to be drained. Workers had been carrying parts out in their lunch boxes and throwing them out instead of reporting that they had made them into scrap. The office had to stop bragging about how great their production staff was, because it wasn’t.

  35. 35.

    SFAW

    @Adam L Silverman:

    The new, this week, Dalek story is that the one in the lobby of the BBC headquarters has a number of bacteria in that show promise as antibiotics in dealing with EXTERMINATING resistant strains.

    Because it is a Dalek, after all.

  36. 36.

    Roger Moore

    @dmsilev:

    I’m sure that four years from now, the GOP will manage to hork up someone even worse than Trump, but for the life of me I can’t see how that’s possible.

    They could choose an actual, out-and-proud Klansman.

  37. 37.

    gf120581

    @eclare: Christie comes to mind, although Trump might prefer to keep him as his valet/gofer/Bond villain henchman that gets killed off in the second reel.

    @Adam L Silverman: Gingrich criticized him over the attacks on the judge, so he may be in the doghouse. Sessions I could see; that would doubling down on the bigotry.

    I have a feeling it may be Scott Brown, who, much like Christie, has latched onto Trump in a desperate play for relevance.

  38. 38.

    dmsilev

    @Adam L Silverman: I can’t see Trump going for Newt. Newt’s ego is almost as big as Trump’s, and I don’t think Donald will want the competition. He’ll want someone he can dominate, or at least been seen as dominating.

  40. 40.

    Adam L Silverman

    @dmsilev: Unless its part of one’s uniform. So Olympic athletes, members of National sports teams in international competition, and as part of military or law enforcement uniforms – usually a shoulder patch. Also, if it is used as a patch it has to be placed so the stars are forward as the flag is never to be seen retreating. Want to freak out a Boy Scout Troop master? Ask him why his flag patch is on backwards?

    As for the ship sailing – there is no penalty for violating the flag code.

  41. 41.

    TS

    @gf120581:

    In all seriousness, does anyone have any clue who might be his actual running mate? Because at this rate, I can’t see why any Republican with a shred of a political future will want to be anywhere near this disaster.

    I would have said Palin – but Trump would expect her to pay for her own clothes – so she would decline.

  44. 44.

    Adam L Silverman

    @dmsilev: Richard Vigurie is pushing for Senator Santorum, but only if Senator Santorum repudiates the Big Government conservatism of President Bush (43).

  45. 45.

    Emma

    @WaterGirl: Yeah, it means all those things and a few more. It’s a Britishism, useful in a large number of circumstances but most commonly to mean “are you pulling my leg?”

    It just shows how much British tv I watch, I’m afraid.

    ETA: by the way, being pissed means being really drunk and a piss-up it’s a drinking party of massive proportions.

  47. 47.

    Xantar

    Holy crap, has anybody been reading Steven D’s posts at Booman’s place? I always thought he was a bit one note but ultimately fighting the good fight.

    But now he’s gone full nutter and started posting about how Sanders was robbed because the primary results don’t match exit polls. Booman has got to be embarrassed to have this guy on his front page.

    At least the commenters are pushing back which is a pleasant surprise. I was expecting them to be cheering him en masse.

  48. 48.

    Adam L Silverman

    @gf120581: @dmsilev: Apparently Speaker Gingrich is in multiple times a day contact with Trump and has become his go to policy/ideas advisor. As for criticizing him on the Judge Curiel stuff, the only one that didn’t was Senator Sessions. My guess is it’ll be one of the two of them. I’m pretty sure Sessions is angling for Attorney General should Trump win as a final thumb in the eye of everyone who denied him a Federal judicial appointment because of his well reported unreconstructed racism.

  49. 49.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    Bleh. I’m feeling down. Not sure what’s wrong, if there’s anything beyond brain chemistry. I guess a part of it is how spectacularly unproductive I’ve been writing wise lately.

  52. 52.

    patrick II

    Christina Grimmie was shot and killed by some asshole with a gun after her show last night. She was signing autographs for her fans when guy just walks up and shoots her, for no reason anyone knows. You might not know who she was — a third place finisher on “The Voice”, and a really lovely young lady with a beautiful voice. I am an old man and I am just tired of seeing young people’s lives lost because everyone must have a gun, and then use it to solve whatever soulless issues they have.
    Anyway, here is a video if you don’t know who she was:Can’t Help Falling In Love

  53. 53.

    Pinacacci

    I uh, oh, uhhh there are not enough vowels to express my befuddlement at this state of affairs. World is crazy or I am.

  55. 55.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Ruckus: I thought that was what you meant, but it was ambiguous. I was afraid they drained the swamp and found decades of moldering, soggy tuna, PB&J, bologna, cheese, etc sandwiches.

  57. 57.

    gf120581

    @patrick II: Given the guy promptly killed himself after shooting her, it makes me wonder if it was a deranged fan/admirer who was in “if I can’t have you nobody can” mode.

    Whatever the reason, yeah, sad and pointless.

  58. 58.

    jl

    I heard with my own ears today this toxic clown yell that ‘Crooked Hillary’ won’t utter the phrase ‘radical Islamic terrorism’ because she is afraid it will offend Barack Hussein Obama. Then smeared Obama as a dimwit incompetent. He seems to think the best way to attack HRC is to connect her to Obama, and then go after Obama using the crudest racist xenophobic GOP dog whistles dialed up to 11, and shouted.

    Go right ahead down that path, Donnie, go right ahead.

  60. 60.

    smith

    The fun thing about Trump’s VP pick is that he’s unlikely to listen to the advice of the R establishment and could easily go with a truly insane choice, like Ted Nugent or his racist butler. Once he announced it, there’d be nothing they could do about it.

  61. 61.

    SFAW

    In other “How un-self-aware is Deadbeat Donnie?” news:
    Apparently, in yet another tweet calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” Deadbeat Donnie tries out the line that SHE is “very racist” because she “pretended to be Native American to advance her career.”

    I sometimes find myself wishing that one of his tweets, or a speech perhaps, will result in his suffering the same fate as Grunthos the Flatulent did in his final performance.

  63. 63.

    Adam L Silverman

    @patrick II: @gf120581: According to the most recent updates from the Orlando PD, the shooter was a 27 year old from St. Pete. He had no prior relationship with her. They will be doing the investigation (with assistance from St. Pete PD) and intend to go through his computer, other effects, social media, emails, etc as they currently have no motive.

  65. 65.

    Percysowner

    I think the party will push for Gingrich or Christie, but in the end I think Donald will tap Sarah Palin, because he knows no one will impeach him as long as she’s the one to step up. Supposedly that was part of why Nixon chose Gerald Ford, who was viewed as not very smart and not someone you would want for President, which turned out to be right, but Nixon was in so much trouble that they had to get him out.

  66. 66.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Emma: I never drank much, even when I lived in Scotland. I have, however, watched a large number of other people have tremendous piss-ups.

  67. 67.

    Adam L Silverman

    @BillinGlendaleCA: I don’t disagree. I think the ambition would be for AG initially to work through his long list of people overdue for a nut cutting by abusing the power of the office followed by elevation to the Supreme Court. I have a feeling that the Confederate leprechaun is quite good at maintaining a grudge.

  69. 69.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @smith:

    Once he announced it, there’d be nothing they could do about it.

    Doesn’t the VP candidate (like the POTUS candidate) need to be formally nominated and voted by the delegates? What if they all just refused? Not that it would ever happen, but, you know, IF….

  71. 71.

    Major Major Major Major

    @efgoldman: Ah, but since we’ve invented calculus since the time of Zeno (thanks, whoever did that), we now know that the train will get there approximately as scheduled, unless you’re in Italy.

    We will never reach peak wingnut because wingnut is a renewable resource.

  72. 72.

    NotMax

    Merely a prelude to his wearing one like a toga at the convention and having sex with the flag onstage at the first debate.

  73. 73.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @Adam L Silverman:

    The other likely option is Senator Sessions.

    The man named after not one but two slavery-defending traitors who looks and sounds like a recurring character from Hee Haw? Let’s go with that, then, over the man who looks and sounds like every Warner Brothers cartoon villain mashed into one person.

    I swear, Trump is going to argue that every Dem vote should only count as 30% of a vote because they were shoddy votes, substandard votes, votes not done properly, but if you vote for him, they’ll count in full.

  77. 77.

    Emma

    @Adam L Silverman: We have that in common, then. To me, the morning after sorta took the shine off the night before.

    I’ve been thinking of this Trump thing and the only scenario that would work for the Republicans is the martyred leader. Does anyone remember the name of a Brit show where this politician climbed to prime minister over a stack of bodies and as everything is starting to fall apart his wife and his right-hand guy have him assassinated, turning him into a martyr? Thankfully, I don’t think they have the gonads.

  78. 78.

    WaterGirl

    @Emma: You said: “by the way, being pissed means being really drunk and a piss-up it’s a drinking party of massive proportions.” The first one I knew, the second one I did not! thank you

  82. 82.

    WaterGirl

    @Xantar: I don’t read Steven D. posts at all. I am pretty good at guessing whether a post was written by BooMan or by Steven D, just from the titles from my RSS feed. Not perfect, but pretty good. I just cannot read Steven D’s stuff, so I don’t know if he is getting worse.

  83. 83.

    pseudonymous in nc

    @Emma:

    by the way, being pissed means being really drunk and a piss-up it’s a drinking party of massive proportions.

    Donald Trump couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.

  84. 84.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    My money’s on Ivanka. She’ll be old enough, and Trump thinks he’ll win so yooooge that one of them loosing New York won’t matter(that’s making the yooooge assumption he knows the Constitution).

  85. 85.

    smith

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    What if they all just refused?

    Same thing that would happen if they tried to pull off a coup to replace Trump. Riots on the floor with Donny cheering them on.

  86. 86.

    Mike in NC

    Last time Drumpf appeared on SNL, he was a completely humorless asshole, so art imitates life.

  87. 87.

    SFAW

    @Percysowner:

    but in the end I think Donald will tap Sarah Palin

    Not sure Melania would appreciate that. Todd seems to be into weird things, so maybe he’d ask to watch. Or, he might decide that “The Killa From Wasilla” is a cool nickname, and react somewhat differently.

    Wait — which meaning of “tap” were you using?

  88. 88.

    NotMax

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Well, it’s a code of conduct, not a criminal statute.

    (b) The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise.

    So much for flag-draped coffins.

    Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.

    Hello, McDonald’s.

  89. 89.

    WaterGirl

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Maybe it’s the letdown after publishing the book and the rush that surely came from that?

    My suggestion is that you go back and read a few posts you wrote just a couple of years ago: the endless job search, can’t find a job, near constant frustration. Then think about the fact that you have a job with a steady paycheck, you have written a book (!) that has been well received (!). If you don’t feel better after that, I’d say it’s brain chemistry, and I imagine you know what to do to handle that.

  91. 91.

    Viva BrisVegas

    “Trump asks for VP suggestions from crowd, hugs American flag at rally.”

    It looks like there has been some inappropriate behaviour on Trump’s podium.

    Can we get that flag tested for DNA?

  92. 92.

    SFAW

    @SFAW:

    And I see efg beat me to the tap punch once again.

    How was your Haymarket gig today, by the way? (Including, of course, a report on Mrs. efg’s musical performance.)

  95. 95.

    Matt McIrvin

    @SFAW: Just encountered a wingnut commenter elsewhere challenging Elizabeth Warren to take a DNA test or else she’d consider her a liar for pretending to be Native American to get into college. Explanations of what actually happened had no visible effect.

  97. 97.

    SFAW

    @Matt McIrvin:
    She sounds like the kind of person on whom a PSA from BHO would be most effective. You know the one I mean: President Obama makes an announcement that drinking antifreeze is dangerous, so DON’T DO IT!

    Probably lose 100,000-plus RWNJs in the first week.

  98. 98.

    Cat48

    @shomi:

    The GOP who work with my husband were all excited that they voted for & helped him win SC. By the end of the GOP Primaries, they were having second thoughts & were embarrassed by Trump’s behavior. Now they refuse,to talk about him & just bash Hillary. Location – eight miles from Fort Sumter, SC.

  99. 99.

    NotMax

    @Emma

    Not British, and decades earlier, is the James Thurber tale of Jack Smurch, “The Greatest Man in the World,” made into a creditable short film starring Brad Davis that was originally (IIRC) shown on PBS.

  100. 100.

    Ruckus

    @Adam L Silverman:
    Yeah I read your comment and saw the mistake with about 25 seconds left in edit.
    Wouldn’t the sandwiches be bacon or fish and chips? This was the UK in the early 80s and working class after all.

    BTW you should have seen the wrong word in the line above. I was taught by a friend who was the managing editor of a glossy monthly magazine to always proof read everything. You should see what pops out of my typing/dyslexia without doing that.

  102. 102.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    mrs efg didn’t perform today, musically or any other way.

    Am I having a brain fart re: Mrs. efg and music? I thought she was in one of the (musical) groups listed in the flier to which you linked the other day.. Or did I misunderstand?

  107. 107.

    NotMax

    @Emma

    D’oh.

    The New Statesman was a comedy series starring Rick Mayall, wickedly sardonic. B’stard is eventually assassinated (no spoiler as to what occurs afterwards).

  109. 109.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Ruckus: Its trying to type like you talk. I have to go back in and edit my comments all the time. As for working men’s lunches in Britain, cheese sandwiches, ploughman’s lunch: pate, cheese, pickled onion, and several other things I’d rather not think about.

  112. 112.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @WaterGirl: Part of it is being spectacularly unproductive, but a larger part, I think, is just being lonely. That combines with thinking about the fact that discussing my childhood traumas cannot in any way restore what was lost.

  113. 113.

    Geoduck

    @NotMax: EDIT: I see this was already covered, but..
    No, it’s the original British version of “House of Cards”, with Ian Richardson as Francis Urquart. And Alan B’Stard wasn’t assassinated, at least in the original series; he ended up declaring himself Lord Protector of England. The series writers did do up an obituary for him when Rik Mayall passed on.

  115. 115.

    Ruckus

    @Adam L Silverman:
    I used to write like I talk but my friend at least got me to recognize that and then taught me to actually edit, which means reading something as if someone else wrote it. I just have to remember to do that properly. Hard to get yourself to do that, given the speed at which a blog runs. Blogging is OK in that regard but twitter is right out.

  119. 119.

    Mnemosyne

    @Emma:

    That was going to be my guess. I’m assuming the American version of “House of Cards” is working on a different ending.

    Along those lines, I saw a British miniseries with Juliet Stevenson called “The Politician’s Wife” that was really good. I assumed it was a British take on the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal, but it turns out it’s from 1995. Anyway, the ending is, shall we say, strangely prophetic now.

  120. 120.

    NotMax

    Off to the weekly gathering. Y’all have fun, and don’t make Mr. Cole pull this thing over to the side of the highway.

  124. 124.

    Mnemosyne

    @Emma:

    According to the IMDb message boards, the BBC version had an additional scene near the end that PBS cut out where she explains to her husband exactly what she did and why. I’d be curious to re-watch it, but most of the commenters seem to think the series worked better without that scene.

  126. 126.

    Emma

    @Mnemosyne: I really don’t think it would really add much. The pleasure is watching her manipulate everyone and their Aunt Fanny without blinking an eye.

  127. 127.

    JWR

    I’m pretty sure Trump’s VP pick will be Sarah Palin, mainly because it would give him “cred” with certain female voters, while proving his “dedication” to women’s issues as a whole. (Hah!)

    Also, too, Palin’s not into applying for any job that might require more than several months of actual work, so there’s that.

  129. 129.

    Emma

    @Major Major Major Major: Can’t find it in South Florida, though. Morcilla, the spanish equivalent, tends to crumble unless you can get the one made with mashed potatoes. I think the oatmeal in the Stornoway pudding makes a difference.

  133. 133.

    patrick II

    @rikyrah:

    CNN as of three hours ago:

    We don’t know if he was just a crazy fan that followed her on Twitter or on social media,” Miglio said. “We really don’t know … it’s undetermined at this point.”

    Regardless, heart broken ex or crazy fan, too many guns for too many distressed people, and a culture that seems to find murder a reasonable solution to one’s problems, whether they be personal or political.

  134. 134.

    JWR

    @Emma:

    @rikyrah: None of the Gods, even the Eldritch ones, love us that much.

    Hey, they loved us enough to gift us with The Donald. ;-)

  135. 135.

    divF

    @WaterGirl:

    Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
    Who was very rarely stable.
    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
    Who could think you under the table.
    David Hume could out-consume
    Schopenhauer and Hegel,
    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
    Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

    There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya’
    ‘Bout the raising of the wrist.
    SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED…

    John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
    On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
    Plato, they say, could stick it away;
    Half a crate of whiskey every day.
    Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
    Hobbes was fond of his dram,
    And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: “I drink, therefore I am”
    Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
    A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed!

    Monty Python – The Philosophers’ Drinking Song

  136. 136.

    MattF

    The one big thing Gingrich has going for him is Sheldon Adelson. It’s quite possible that Der Trump will go for a ‘deal’ in which unlimited funding from Adelson is in return for Gingrich getting the VP nod. And yeah, I can’t believe I actually wrote the previous sentences. But the world is what it is and not some other thing.

    Good night.

  137. 137.

    Felixmoronia

    @Emma: That would be the original “House of Cards” with Sir Ian Richardson playing F.U. The wife was a cold-hearted creature.

  138. 138.

    divF

    @efgoldman: I only get 10 free clicks a month from NYT, and I’m not about to waste one on MoDo.

    ETA: found a way to read it without using up my quota. Nonetheless, I could only make it through the first graf. Utterly dreadful, really weak-ass snark.

  140. 140.

    dogwood

    @patrick II:
    Grimme was only 18 when she was on The Voice. I do watch it. One of the things I learned from watching the show is that Shakira is terrific. A smart, witty, kind, beautiful, feminist.

  141. 141.

    Anne Laurie

    @shomi:

    Wonder how the image of a presidential candidate dry humping the Murcan flag is playing down in the red states.

    It just proves how much he truly loves Our Country.

    Like when our 20lb. alpha-bitch rescue humps the Spousal Unit’s leg; not only is she demonstrating the vigor of her affection, it’s also supposed to make it clear that she loves him more than I do.

  142. 142.

    RadioOne

    as far as the VP choice goes, I think Trump in the next couple of weeks will feel a need to “shake it up” and pick a surprise candidate in the same way that John McCain did in 2008.

  144. 144.

    seaboogie

    This could change by the am, but I think my little 20-y-o kitty might be going down for the count. Has chronic kidney disease, and is now sleeping quietly in her litterbox on a peepad (no litter) by her choice. She’s been the Queen-of-the-Bed for over a year now, but seems to be going down to earth these last couple of days. Sad. Sweet. Poignant. Longest relationship that I’ve ever had apart from immediate family. Something seems different now – and am guessing she’s a short-timer. Imma going to sleep next to her, my pillow on the bathroom floor.

  146. 146.

    Carl W

    Not sure where Baud falls on the “would sacrifice all my principles for a chance at power” scale, so sorry if this is offensive…

    Trump/Baud! 2016!

  147. 147.

    Anne Laurie

    @RadioOne:

    as far as the VP choice goes, I think Trump in the next couple of weeks will feel a need to “shake it up” and pick a surprise candidate in the same way that John McCain did in 2008.

    Ugh, I suddenly have an image of Hair Furor putting his VP slot up for sale to the highest bidder.

    And the RNC would defend him, because what higher proof of one’s patriotism than cash on the barrelhead?

  148. 148.

    dogwood

    I wonder if Trump will ever start going after Obama? No doubt the WHCD scared him off, but his base is gonna want some Obama bashing. I think the President can slowly goad him into crossing the line, but it might take some time. Warren goes after him with sledge hammer, but with Obama it will be death by a thousand cuts.

  151. 151.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Carl W: Dumpster diving to collect cans to fund the Baud!2016! campaign is one thing, but there are some things Baud! just won’t do.

  152. 152.

    Ruckus

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym:
    Maybe a bit of advice, thinking about it too much may be part of the problem, it can be for me. I know this from experience. For what it’s worth, I also don’t really know how to fix that.

  153. 153.

    Mary G

    Just got the audiobook of Tom Levenson’s book The Hunt for Vulcan on sale at Audible for $1.95!

  154. 154.

    John Revolta

    @Mnemosyne: You can read all about it over at LGM. If you’ve got ten minutes and no cat boxes to clean out, or old paint you can watch peeling.

  156. 156.

    Anne Laurie

    @Major Major Major Major: Maureen Dowd is one of the minor public tragedies of feminism’s Second Wave.

    She bet against her gender, assuming that the wimmens-libbers were just faddists who’d quickly be put in their place by the people in charge. Instead, she chose to play the Token Girl in the Newsroom, the quick-quipping dame who never challenged the Boys too much, someone always ready to point out “losers” who were too serious or nerdy or earnest about “issues” (boooring!). She’s the newsroom version of Peggy Noonan’s career as a Repub cheerleader.

    And, like Noonan, she’s made a damned good career out of that role — not many people of any gender get a regular column in the NYTimes. But the further we move from the 1960s, the less relevant she’s become; it’s not a coincidence that the point of her greatest popularity came during the Bush/Reagan/Bush years, when Retro ruled.

  161. 161.

    Ultraviolet Thunder

    I read that MoDo column by accident, clicking on it from FB without looking at the byline. One paragraph in I was all “WTF is this dreck, bad satire?” So I read it all. Just terrible. How does writing that bad get published in the NYT?

  164. 164.

    Elizabelle

    @Mnemosyne: Oh dog. I think Maureen Dowd might have outsourced this column to RedState. She should get a long vacay after turning in this crap. It begins:

    WASHINGTON — Hillary Clinton greets Elizabeth Warren in the cream-and-coral sunroom of her home on Embassy Row.

    “Elizabeth, welcome,” Clinton says, smiling stiffly. “I was worried that you were lost since it was taking you so-o-o-o long to finally get here.”

    “Hahaha,” Warren replies. “I’ve always heard you’re a hoot in private. I know I was the last Democratic woman in the Senate to endorse you but Bernie and I have more in common. We don’t buckrake on Wall Street. People are enthusiastic about us and believe what we say. We’re pure.”

    Maybe best to ignore it with online comments; Dowd et al will use irritation as “see — libtards don’t got no sense of humor.”

    But this one falls flat as the pancake recipe Dowd richly deserves.

  165. 165.

    Elizabelle

    Dowd continues:

    …[Warren]: “You know all the Democrats want me on the ticket to add some sizzle since the crowds you draw wouldn’t even fill this couch. I know you are afraid I will overshadow you and I will. But I can help you reel in all the young women who find you more shifty than nifty. And the Bernie Bros dig me.”

    “Thanks, Pocahontas,” Hillary replies, looking steely. “I can do some things on my own. I did manage to secure a spot in the Ivy League without pretending to be Native American. I hope you noticed that I’ve decorated my house in all the colors of the wind.”

    Warren bristles, Church Lady-style: “You have done a fine job here, except that one painting looks crooked, Hillary. I’m surprised you don’t have oil portraits of Goldman and Sachs. And let me give you some free advice: Now that Bernie and I have forced you to address income inequality, you might want to hide that $12,495 tweed Armani jacket you wore on the trail in the back of your closet.”

    The senator from Massachusetts stands up. “Where’s the bathroom?” she asks. “Can I squeeze in there with the server?”

  167. 167.

    Baud

    NYT

    A number of people were reported to have shot early on Sunday at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, local media said.

    The violence erupted at the Pulse nightclub, which urged patrons in a post on its Facebook page to “get out” and “keep running.”

    Local media reported that a number of people, ranging from seven to as many as 20, had been shot but there were was no confirmed fatalities. Several patrons posted on social media that a gunman was holed up inside and was holding hostages.

  169. 169.

    Elizabelle

    @Baud: Truly. When is the BCN meetup?

    It’s watching a lot of America go crazy, from afar. My European classmates are horrified, and people ask about Trump, a lot, here.

    Plus: great subway system that’s clean and inexpensive and runs much more frequently than US trains; no car needed (and it would be a hassle in Barcelona; sounds like a lot of people just rent when needed).

    Planning to stay a few more weeks, fer sure.

  171. 171.

    Baud

    @Elizabelle: I won’t be there until September, so you should meetup without me.

    I’ve been to Europe a few times and would never own a car if I lived in a city.

  172. 172.

    Keith G

    @Baud: Two nights in a row, two horrible incident involving shooting in Orlando in a row. WTF…Orlando? WTF Florida? WTF America?

    My friends in the UK whom I always Tweet back and forth with are seriously wondering what the hell is going on here

  173. 173.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Elizabelle:
    @Baud: Morning, I’ll won’t be up much for the morning crowd today. I have to be up early(for me). Madame and I are picking up the kid at her place to go to her BSN pinning ceremony(the last part of her college graduation, commencement was yesterday). I picked up a lei for her(I spend the afternoon looking for a cheap lei).

  175. 175.

    Baud

    @Keith G: I know what you mean. Say what you want about Hillary, she’s been consistently strong this election on dealing with the gun violence epidemic.

  177. 177.

    Elizabelle

    @Keith G: Might it be free-floating anxiety and ugliness, loosed by the too long and too ugly (on the GOP side) political campaign, filtering through society? Just ugliness and sensationalism and who do you trust?

    It’s like a Pandora’s Box has opened. With guns. Too many guns.

    Prior to Ms. Grimmie’s death, Orlando had 18 murders in 2016. That seems like a lot.

  179. 179.

    Elizabelle

    @Baud: Alas. Shall be back in the US of Cray Cray by September.

    Maybe in North Carolina, volunteering for Roy Cooper (and you go, Hillary). Who knows?

    Agreed re cars in European cities. Along the lines of “send a kid to camp”, we should have a “send a ‘we’re number one!’ type abroad” to see how well other countries do some things, and then wonder why the greatest and richest country in the world is so damn cheap and small-minded on too much.

    It’s a sin to be squandering so much potential.

  183. 183.

    Keith G

    @Elizabelle: Now that I am a bit too old to go clubbing at the gay bars, my main hobby is live music. I scrape together a mad money fund so that I can get to as many live performances as possible.

    One of the joys of that is being at smaller venues where you can meet and have a chat with really cool artists. I’ve had many opportunities to have after show chats with artists who are now large names on larger marquees . A young artist is murdered during an after-show meet and greet. That hits way too close to home.

    So yeah, a young singer and then patrons at a gay club are targets of gun violence……. a really disheartening last two days.

  185. 185.

    fuckwit

    My dream has at last come true.

    Today I got an email from Bernie endorsing two progressive Democratic Congressional candidates and asking me to donate money… for THEM.

    All I have to say is: Thanks, Obama!

    In January we will have President Hilary Clinton, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and be maybe one or two cycles away from, once again, Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

    And then, if we can only stay out of any stupid wars, we can begin to pass legislation at last to reflect the progressive revolution.

  186. 186.

    Betty Cracker

    Cops are calling the Orlando shooting a “mass casualty” situation. I hope this wasn’t a hate crime, but you have to wonder.

  187. 187.

    Elizabelle

    Orlando shootings. What a horror. And how not surprising. This has to end.

    I think this election can be a hinge in history, to abet much of the evils ensuing from the stolen 2000 election.

    You can call her a shill for Wall Street all you like, but Hillary Clinton (and President Obama) are very serious about gun safety and enacting common sense legislation to help stem the number of deaths.

    Study them, for one thing. Background checks and I wish we had a system closer to Switzerland’s.

  188. 188.

    Keith G

    @fuckwit: Harry has announced his retirement. Looks like we’ll have leader Schumer in charge.

    @Betty Cracker: Many years ago I was in a gay bar where shooting took place. Interestingly, neither the shooter nor the dead guy were gay. The shots were fired over an argument coming from a dispute over the purchase of drugs.

  189. 189.

    Betty Cracker

    @Keith G: Scary stuff. It’s too soon to draw conclusions about what happened in Orlando, but from witness reports, it sounds like the shooter was firing at random into the crowd. He could have been just a random kook, or he could have been targeting the bar because of its patrons. We’ll find out soon enough, I guess. Regardless of the shooter’s motive, it’s horrific. But a hate crime can intimidate an entire community. I’d hate to see that happen. We’ve had so much progress, even in Florida!

  191. 191.

    Matt McIrvin

    @efgoldman: It’s the Middlesex Concert Band, out of Wakefield. They used to do the Festival of Bands every year, though they haven’t in a little while.

  196. 196.

    satby

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: yeah, loneliness is everything it’s cracked up to be; out here in the boonies I often feel the same way. I hope coming here and interacting with the rest of us snarling jackals helps a little bit, it always helps me when I feel too isolated. We have lots of virtual friends.

  197. 197.

    satby

    @seaboogie: I’m so sorry seaboogie. It does sound like she’s getting ready to go, and I hope she has a gentle passing when it’s time. She’s had a long and well loved life with you, that’s a companion animal’s heaven on earth. I hope you can find comfort in how wonderful it was for her to be loved so well.

  198. 198.

    SFAW

    @Anne Laurie:

    Interesting analysis. For a number of years, I’ve been trying to figure out what is up with The Always Clueless Joan Vennochi (as I’ve said here in the past). Your thesis may be the answer. Except Vennochi is not as smart as Dowd, and a lousy writer. But she sure hates her some Elizabeth Warren (and Martha Coakley and Hillary and who-knows-how-many-other strong women).

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