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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Late Night Poe-try Corner Open Thread

Late Night Poe-try Corner Open Thread

by Anne Laurie|  June 11, 20162:37 am| 29 Comments

This post is in: Hail to the Hairpiece, KULCHA!, Open Threads

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"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," by Donald J. Trump (h/t @brooks_rosa) https://t.co/OzWTaBktuI pic.twitter.com/I25zsBziHg

— Patrick Radden Keefe (@praddenkeefe) June 10, 2016

TBH, it was funnier before I visualized Captain Bankruptcy (h/t Jim Newell) taking credit for this ditty…

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Reader Interactions

29Comments

  1. 1.

    Luthe

    June 11, 2016 at 2:45 am

    I object to Combover Caligula being referred to as Captain Bankruptcy on the grounds that ‘Captain Bankruptcy’ sounds like a supervillain while Herr Trump is merely a third-rate wannabe.

  2. 2.

    Jeff Spender

    June 11, 2016 at 2:52 am

    I was reading that Bernie flipped a few counties in California. The spread went down to like 12.4%.

    But the Berners were like–if the percentage is getting closer, how can Clinton lead in votes have gotten wider?

    Math fails.

  3. 3.

    gene108

    June 11, 2016 at 2:52 am

    A new American Classic. Can’t wait to see the kids dissecting the intricacies of the imagery, use of language and symbolism.

  4. 4.

    piratedan

    June 11, 2016 at 2:57 am

    and as much as we loathe trump, there are some folks out there that have been fed lies about Clinton over the last 25 years by the minions in the 4th estate that they simply can’t believe that so many of us would nominate, much less support, such an immoral liar to run for President. Pushing back, they simply know that she’s bad, its like they’ve internalized it and it can no longer be examined, therefore, the book has been closed.

  5. 5.

    Carl W

    June 11, 2016 at 2:58 am

    I would not want to be Judge Curiel right now. He can’t recuse himself (if he did, that would mean that Trump had won against the federal judiciary system), and if he makes any decision adverse to Trump millions of people will believe it’s because he’s biased against Trump. And under that kind of stress, he still has to be fair. (Although I guess he’s probably one of the most proven judges around to handle stress, given the whole “living in hiding to avoid assassins” thing.)

    Any lawyers or judges around? I’m curious… can Curiel ask his colleagues for advice on a particular ruling? Is that something he’s likely to do? In general, what sort of support system does he have?

    I really enjoyed these excerpts from one of the Trump U plaintiff filings (from https://www.yahoo.com/news/lawyers-mock-trump-too-busy-to-be-honest-about-trump-u-215150245.html):

    Donald Trump is too busy to be honest. So says Trump himself, who explains that he reviewed his own promises about his Trump University (‘TU’) only ‘very quickly.’ And therefore, he deserves summary judgment. Because he was too busy. To be honest. In addition, Trump explains that he was incapable of being honest because he is ‘not a lawyer.’ And therefore, he deserves summary judgment. Because he was incapable of being honest. Due to not being a lawyer. Due to his integrity infirmities, Trump explains that he resorted to ‘marketing BS’ to induce students to enroll in his Trump University. And therefore, he deserves summary judgment. Because he resorted to ‘marketing BS.’ To induce students to enroll in his illegal ‘Trump University.’

    Trump denies operating and managing the ‘fraudulent marketing scheme’ alleged here because he only starred in the marketing materials; signed the marketing materials; corrected the marketing materials; and approved the marketing materials. And therefore, he deserves summary judgment….

    “Trump wrote his motion for summary judgment for a District Court in Bizarro World,” the plaintiffs write. “In this District Court, however, it is wholly without merit.”

  6. 6.

    RK

    June 11, 2016 at 3:19 am

    Newly released State Department emails help reveal how a major Clinton Foundation donor was placed on a sensitive government intelligence advisory board even though he had no obvious experience in the field, a decision that appeared to baffle the department’s professional staff.

  7. 7.

    Major Major Major Major

    June 11, 2016 at 3:29 am

    Just wrapped up some Minecraft, now it’s time for some cartoons?? Because I’m 14.

  8. 8.

    Carl W

    June 11, 2016 at 3:33 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Ooh, Minecraft. I’ve spent WAY too much time playing (modded) Minecraft (most recently, Feed the Beast Infinity Evolved expert mode).

  9. 9.

    Major Major Major Major

    June 11, 2016 at 3:40 am

    @Carl W: I like vanilla-ish survival multiplayer. I’m old-school. Still mad about the addition of hunger!

  10. 10.

    Elizabelle

    June 11, 2016 at 3:47 am

    That poetry is some good snark.

  11. 11.

    Mike J

    June 11, 2016 at 4:06 am

    @Major Major Major Major: You play with hunger overhaul? Add in spice of life (where you get diminishing returns for eating the same thing) and it turns into a challenge for a while.

    I played sky factory few a few hours last week, but the lack of quest book kinda had me bored after I got over the initial metal production hump.

    Just back from sailing/beer&pizzaing. Getting checked out on our new boat. Only 3′ longer (up to a 27’from a 24′) but it feels twice as big. Just maneuvering it up to the dock feels very, very different. It does have an extra ton of mass.

  12. 12.

    magurakurin

    June 11, 2016 at 4:19 am

    @piratedan:

    Pushing back, they simply know that she’s bad, its like they’ve internalized it and it can no longer be examined, therefore, the book has been closed.

    Sadly, this does appear true with some. Here is my current stock reply.

    Here is the thing for some to remember in November. You don’t ever have to tell anyone you voted for Clinton. Just pull the lever, behind the curtain. You can keep your street cred in your respective gangs and call her an “oligarch” or “Hitlery,” depending on your brand…but still sleep at night knowing you didn’t let Donald Fucking Trump have the launch codes to 7,000 hydrogen bombs.

  13. 13.

    Carl W

    June 11, 2016 at 4:32 am

    @Mike J: Not sure why M^4 would use hunger overhaul, when he doesn’t like hunger to start with.

    I’m not fond of hunger overhaul myself… I like being able to leave the game running in the background without starving to death.

    My brother, a friend of his, and I managed to finish off the achievement book in an older version of Sky Factory (the version just before all the magic was added, I think). I just noticed that Sky Factory 2.5 is out… might have to start up a game.

  14. 14.

    Amir Khalid

    June 11, 2016 at 4:34 am

    @Carl W:
    Judge Curiel could just ignore Trump’s racist baiting and decide the case on its merits, which if I’m not mistaken is what judicial ethics requires of him anyway.

  15. 15.

    Carl W

    June 11, 2016 at 4:48 am

    @Amir Khalid: Yes, and I do expect he will decide the case on its merits. But if he can really ignore the racist baiting (and the eyes of millions of people on his rulings), he’s a better person than I am — and, IMHO, a better person than most of the people in the world.

    And if he can’t quite manage to ignore the racist baiting, but ethics requires him to rule as if he is, it seems to me it might help to be able to talk about the case — and potential rulings — with colleagues. (At least, I think that would help me in a situation like that.)

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    June 11, 2016 at 4:59 am

    @Carl W:
    To go by his personal history, it seems the judge is a better person than most of us. I don’t think there’s any amount of Trump’s baiting that could break him.

  17. 17.

    rikyrah

    June 11, 2016 at 5:36 am

    @Carl W:
    The judge cut his teeth by going after drug cartels, that kept his life under a death threat.
    Trump doesn’t bother him.

  18. 18.

    Elizabelle

    June 11, 2016 at 5:38 am

    @efgoldman: Have a good day in Boston. If I were there, I would come looking for you and Mrs. efg. Hope it’s a good one.

  19. 19.

    Immanentize

    June 11, 2016 at 8:47 am

    @Amir Khalid: in a normal case not involving a presidential.candidate, the Judge would haul the party in for a little discussion about contempt of court and probably issue a gag order. One can always complain a judge is biased, but that should be done in court by motion. Litigating in the press and working the refs in public is generally frowned upon.

  20. 20.

    The Other Chuck

    June 11, 2016 at 8:52 am

    @Carl W: Curiel has faced off against Mexican cartels. I don’t think he loses any sleep over the vulgar talking yam.

  21. 21.

    Immanentize

    June 11, 2016 at 8:53 am

    @efgoldman: I think.we are saying the same thing generally. But courts can order lawyers and parties not to discuss a pending matter if it would change facts or intimidate witnesses etc. I think Trump’s threats qualify for.a.little speech suppression. But it will never happen.

  22. 22.

    Matt McIrvin

    June 11, 2016 at 8:57 am

    @Carl W:

    I would not want to be Judge Curiel right now. He can’t recuse himself (if he did, that would mean that Trump had won against the federal judiciary system)

    My understanding is that this is actually a codified element of professional ethics among judges: they have a positive obligation not to recuse themselves from cases for bad reasons (because if they did, annoying cases might have no one to try them, and it would make it possible for parties in a case to judge-shop through harassment or just obnoxious behavior).

  23. 23.

    Immanentize

    June 11, 2016 at 9:04 am

    @Matt McIrvin: I’ll add that recusing oneself means another Judge — one of your colleagues you see all.the.time — will have to take over the case from you. So no one wants to look like a shirker.
    Besides, in this case under the Trump test of bias who could hear the matter?

  24. 24.

    aimai

    June 11, 2016 at 9:26 am

    @Luthe: Maybe Private Bankruptcy?

  25. 25.

    aimai

    June 11, 2016 at 9:29 am

    @efgoldman: EF I’m sorry to miss you! I can’t go over to Boston today, my daughter is dancing in some kind of festival here in Harvard Square and with the Pride Parade going on in Boston I can’t pop in and out. Best wishes to you and Mrs. EF.

  26. 26.

    Matt McIrvin

    June 11, 2016 at 10:47 am

    @Jeff Spender: There are a bunch of conspiracy theories in the air about Hillary stealing California. On the day of the primary, Greg Palast was complaining that people registered as No Party Preference were getting their primary votes nullified because they bungled the process for surrendering their NPP ballot for a party ballot–he claimed it was happening because they didn’t request the party ballot by saying a sentence with a certain exact wording. And, to his credit, he put a lot of the blame on the Sanders campaign for not doing enough to educate their supporters about this, but he still characterized it as a stolen election, because everything is a stolen election to him.

  27. 27.

    quakerinabasement

    June 11, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    The poem needs an “Okay?” in there somewhere.

  28. 28.

    Bill Wright

    June 11, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    @piratedan: @piratedan:
    I agree with most of your comment…with the exception of “minions” doing skullduggery. Happy little yellow folk, second cousins to house elves would not do such things…

    Dementors-in-training however—

  29. 29.

    BruceJ

    June 12, 2016 at 10:51 am

    @aimai: El Capitan Major Colonel General Bankruptcy! (who was a private before the coup, and has awarded himself three chestfuls of medals that he truly believes he earned)

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