Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Second rate reporter says what?

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

It’s not hopeless, and we’re not helpless.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

This country desperately needs a functioning Fourth Estate.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

“But what about the lurkers?”

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Consistently wrong since 2002

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Ah, the different things are different argument.

You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / Cruz-ifiction / Open Thread: Return of the Cruz-ifiction Candidate

Open Thread: Return of the Cruz-ifiction Candidate

by | 72 Comments

This post is in: , , , , , , ,

With the Democrats openly rebelling against the NRA (and the GOP candidate flailing on all fronts), a call went out in search of a New Hope. And guess who happened to be waiting by the phone…

From the Hill, yesterday:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) attended a confidential dinner with more than 20 top conservatives on Tuesday night to plan his comeback as a movement leader in the mold of Ronald Reagan.

The dinner was at the Virginia home of conservative activist Brent Bozell, and the agenda was to plot Cruz’s future and the future of the conservative movement.

The undertone of the dinner was about how to position Cruz for a future tilt at the presidency and to spearhead the conservative movement from his seat in the Senate, those in attendance said.

Dining with Cruz and his chief of staff, Paul Teller, were some of the most powerful figures in the conservative movement.

The spectrum of economic, national security and social conservatives seated at the table included Heritage Foundation President Jim DeMint, Club for Growth President David McIntosh, direct-mail guru Richard Viguerie, National Rifle Association board member and former Cincinnati Mayor Ken Blackwell, and Susan B. Anthony List President Marjorie Dannenfelser, sources confirmed…

Many of the leaders at the dinner want Cruz to run for president again, and they are viewing Cruz’s unsuccessful 2016 run as similar to Reagan’s failed attempt in 1976 to unseat the incumbent Republican president, Gerald Ford…

Reagan gave the grifting bigots of the “Moral Majority” a comfy seat at the top table, back in the day when AIDS was still a mysterious new “gay plague”. And as far as these good Christianists are concerned, it’s not as though the Orlando massacre involved, you know, actual American people — just “pawns of the devil“…

The only possible gleam of light I can see from #Failgunner Ted’s re-emergence is that he might’ve timed it badly. He’ll never go away, but one can hope there’s enough public revulsion at his new grab for the spotlight to send him back to the fever swamps for a while.

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    charluckles

    I don’t get why they don’t get it. Cruz is one of the most, if not the most unappealing candidates for President I have ever seen. And that’s not even touching on his policies.

  2. 2.

    Baud

    they are viewing Cruz’s unsuccessful 2016 run as similar to Reagan’s failed attempt in 1976 to unseat the incumbent Republican president, Gerald Ford…

    Wasn’t Reagan actually liked by people?

  4. 4.

    The Other Chuck

    Why yes, it is a terrorism issue. Glad you brought that up.

    The NRA supports terrorists.

  6. 6.

    c u n d gulag

    Ted is like that festering pustule on you ass, or an STD, that can’t be eliminated.

    Yeah, Ted, stopping gun violence is nowhere are as important as stopping people from getting affordable health care!

    Huge Texas 50-gallon hat, meet an ass you can barely cover!

    .
    Have your read a copy of “Green Eggs & Ham,” with the author’s meaning explained to you, line by line?

    No, probably not.
    Maybe one of your daughters – who appear not to be your biggest fans – can explain it to youI

  9. 9.

    Feebog

    So they want to take the stake out of his heart and see if he really is of the undead? There is a reason he stalled out on the campaign trail, and it wasn’t all due to Trump. Cruz is an smarmy creep who oozes insincerity. That comes across every time he opens his yap. Plus, the most punchable face in politics. Go back to Texas Ted, its over.

  11. 11.

    Baud

    I am looking forward to the media event where Cruz shows the world that he’s learned how to speak basketball correctly.

  14. 14.

    Tom Q

    I will point out that Anne Laurie consistently underestimated Cruz last year — saying over and over that he was strictly in it for the grift, that he had no chance of actually competing for votes. Instead, he ended up one of the last three standing, and that’s with the real handicap of a facing a candidate whose best showing was in what should have been Cruz territory, the evangelical south.

    None of this is to say that I think Cruz could, barring, calamity, ever be elected president. But I think he speaks to the ugly chunk of the party quite as well as Trump does, and I don’t think it’s impossible he could be the (losing) GOP nominee four years hence.

  17. 17.

    Kay

    to plan his comeback as a movement leader in the mold of Ronald Reagan.

    OMG, what is wrong with them. Ted Cruz isn’t appealing at all. He shouldn’t even be a Senator. He should be in an office in some Right wing think-tank plotting to overturn the New Deal.

  19. 19.

    msdc

    Oh god, could we be so lucky as to have Clinton run against Trump and Cruz? That’s gotta be worth at least one additional Supreme Court nomination.

  20. 20.

    Roger Moore

    @Kay:

    He shouldn’t even be a Senator. He should be in an office in some Right wing think-tank plotting to overturn the New Deal.

    He should be at a McDonalds somewhere, asking people if they want fries with that. Except that he couldn’t hold down the job, because he’d argue with them if they ever said no.

  22. 22.

    eclare

    Friend of mine in Dallas says it is firmly Ted Cruz country. I don’t get it, he is repulsive, reptilian, repugnant…basically I’m going for alliteration for Republican.

  24. 24.

    Mnemosyne

    @Tom Q:

    It does seem like our nationwide election is going the way of California. Out here in these here parts, the Republicans run sacrificial candidates for statewide offices, because there’s no way said candidates can win.

    (Arnold was publicly despised by the California Republican Party, so he was weirdly regarded as an independent by voters.)

  26. 26.

    swkellogg

    As we have often heard quoted, the only cure for presidential fever is embalming fluid.

    With this in mind, please kindly forward your generous donation of embalming fluid to:

    The Honorable Ted Cruz
    United States Senate
    404 Russell Senate Office Building
    Washington, D.C. 20510-4306

    Thanking you in advance,

    SWK

  27. 27.

    Roger Moore

    @Lolis:

    Didn’t Cruz do the Green Eggs and Ham filibuster?

    Yes. That was the one where he completely missed the point of the book he was reading. Irony is dead, and the Republicans are just desecrating the corpse.

  28. 28.

    Mnemosyne

    Also, too, I’m pretty sure there’s a whole lot of overlap between Trump and Cruz fans. It’s really just a matter of how much Jeebus-hugging you want with your racism and xenophobia.

  29. 29.

    Kay

    @rikyrah:

    To get the full horror, you have to watch him interact with voters. I watched on CSPAN. He’s just appalling- fake laughing, patronizing smiling and nodding- he lectures people constantly, literally restates what they say to clean it up/make it clear. They ask him a question and he first makes it clear they got the question all garbled up. It’s like a lesson, and he’s the teacher. Ugh.

  31. 31.

    MattF

    Not so long ago, we were debating the relative awfulness of Trump and Cruz. There’s a tendency to imagine now that anyone who’s not-Trump can’t be all that bad. So don’t forget, Cruz is, in fact, bad. Very very very very bad.

  33. 33.

    debbie

    Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) attended a confidential dinner with more than 20 top conservatives on Tuesday night to plan his comeback as a movement leader in the mold of Ronald Reagan.

    Of course, this would require a brain transplant.

    It’s hard to imagine that the nuts will be even nuttier in 2020 than they have been this year.

  34. 34.

    laura

    Did Cruz fry up some bacon on the barrel of his gun as an apetizer for the swell crowd of folks?

  35. 35.

    SRW1

    So this time the Republicans are gonna go with a motherf*cker they abhor and next time with one they absolutely can’t stand. Must be fun to be a congresscritter for that party.

  36. 36.

    Miss Bianca

    Help! A “Get Windows 10” icon has sneakily embedded itself on my toolbar on my work computer. Any tech heads here know how to get rid of/disable it before it decides to unhelpfully upgrade my system against my will?

  37. 37.

    Anne Laurie

    @Tom Q:

    I will point out that Anne Laurie consistently underestimated Cruz last year — saying over and over that he was strictly in it for the grift, that he had no chance of actually competing for votes.

    I will admit that I underestimated Republican primary voters’ thirst for smarmy gunfondling bigots against their authoritarian weakness for falling in line to boost the ‘most electable’ candidate. (And me a devout Cynic!)

    I also think that watching the Combover Caligula, a cartoon made flesh, cut such a swath among the “respectable” members of the GOP (lookin’ at you, Paul Ryan) has given #Failgunner Ted a (hopefully unwarranted) new confidence in his own ability to move beyond his natural (very) base into a more prominent position.

  38. 38.

    debbie

    Between Cruz and McCain, Ryan’s looking like the sane one. Which is very frightening.

  40. 40.

    Miss Bianca

    @different-church-lady: Don’t I wish! Actually, I forgot that my tech geek friend emailed me a link to something called “Never10”, which just configures the OS so that it can’t automatically update. Time to check it out!

  43. 43.

    Gravenstone

    @debbie:

    Of course, this would require a brain transplant.

    Well, Reagan isn’t exactly using his any longer. The Alzheimer’s would just be an added bonus.

  47. 47.

    hovercraft

    @debbie:
    Those 20 are part of the Freedom caucus, the craziest of the crazy, the likes of Goehmert and Jolly and King.

  48. 48.

    Schlemazel Khan

    @different-church-lady:
    Just this afternoon I very seriously recommended my company replace all our PCs with Chromebooks. They are cheaper, more reliable, eliminate the need for a desktop & laptop, can be managed so that a local app store is the only source for apps that can be installed, are patched by google and much more secure. Add to that we could get Office 365 for $10 a year per user which is MUCH less than we are paying for MS Orifice Pro and I think it would be a huge winner. I am sure they will run screaming from the room.

  50. 50.

    The Thin Black Duke

    H.P. Lovecraft had a name for these creatures masquerading as human in the Republican Party.

  54. 54.

    Adam L Silverman

    @rikyrah: He also got way to the right, which is kind of amazing if you think about it, of the current Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick. Had he run any farther to the right, he’d have lapped the ideological spectrum and popped up on the far left as a Bolshevik or something…

  57. 57.

    Enhanced Voting Techinques

    The Zodiac Killer used a gun and Cruz is a big fan of them, just saying.

  58. 58.

    Schlemazel Khan

    @Roger Moore:
    True but part of my intent is to be as outrageous (from a corporate view point) as I can be. They claim they want “revolutionary thinking” so I am going to give it to them & watch the story change

  61. 61.

    daves09

    @debbie: I love those confidential dinners where the guests go to the toilet to text their 100 best ftriends-promise you won’t tell a soul.

  62. 62.

    Corner Stone

    @efgoldman: It’s not close. Cruz is hands down the most punchable face in America. The gap between 1st and 2nd is like saying the earth is close to the sun.

  65. 65.

    Humdog

    @Miss Bianca: when my computer decided to update itself, I merely chose to not accept the terms when the fine print box came up. It put my system back just the way it was before. I was only down a few buckets of perspiration while I waited hoping it would all turn out well.

  66. 66.

    redshirt

    @Miss Bianca: It depends on the nature of your PC. Is it part of a domain? Then it will not update itself automatically. Is it a standalone PC? Not sure what will happen to you. You might get forced updated.

  67. 67.

    Jeffro

    @efgoldman:

    Judgement call. It’s a real close thing.

    True, and look, we’re smart & talented people. We can walk & chew gum at the same time. There’s no reason why we can’t punch both of them.

  68. 68.

    Tom

    @Schlemazel Khan: I’m a Mac user but I also have a ChromeBox (basically a desktop Chromebook) and I really like it. It starts up fast and I can get 90+% of my work done on it (course development, teaching, programming). Plus it’s a low distraction environment so when I need to be “heads-down” to make a deadline it’s ideal.

  69. 69.

    J R in WV

    @redshirt:

    @Miss Bianca:

    Redshirt may be right. I recommend backing up all your files to DVDs or an external hard drive you don’t keep attached right away. Like NOW!

    That way, if MS Messes up your computer past all recovery, you can just get a Chromebox or Chromebook (or even a free Linux CD to install) and then load your files back and you’re in business again.

  70. 70.

    prob50

    @Roger Moore: Would you want to order a hamburger while looking at that face? The best way for Ted Cruz to be less repulsive would be to put his personality thru the biggest meat-grinder earth and then bury the remains under a nuclear waste dump-site. Hey, maybe his personality could reduce the radioactive half-life of the stuff. it sure sucks the life out of everything else.

  71. 71.

    momus

    If the Tedster wants to be a latter day Ronnie Reagun, shouldn’t he start by co-starring with Bonzo? His Bonzo being the Trumpmiester.

  72. 72.

    Skippy-san

    I’ll tell you what’s offensive. A religious fucking zealot from Texas catering to fat selfish pigs with guns. Now THAT’s offensive.

Comments are closed.