NRA's "Freedom Cruise" on the Danube is scheduled to depart today. Features Newt, Ben Carson & top NRA officials. https://t.co/B5R2YpVL3h
— Julie Bykowicz (@bykowicz) June 16, 2016
The Trickster God is a lousy novelist — he doesn’t even try for verisimilitude. Because their most fervent followers are the target market for such endeavors (old people with money, who want ‘luxury vacations’ involving rich food, gentle entertainment, and as little contact as possible with not-Americans who aren’t liveried servants), every year the NRA, Newt Gingrich, Ollie North and a fistful of fellow miscreants get together for a “Freedom Cruise.” So this year, as the rise of angry far-right revanchist movements on both sides of the Atlantic have led to an increasingly nervous skirting of Godwin’s Law… Per Bloomberg, back in April:
… The National Rifle Association annually invites donors on a luxury cruise where they can mingle with conservative notables. The 2016 Freedom Cruise in June will take participants along the Danube through Germany, Austria, Slovakia, and Hungary.
Aboard for policy discussions and private receptions will be the NRA’s top official, Wayne LaPierre; Oliver North of Iran-Contra notoriety; former Republican House Speaker and presidential candidate Newt Gingrich and his wife, Callista; Reagan administration Attorney General Edwin Meese III; and Dr. Ben Carson, who until recently was seeking the 2016 Republican presidential nomination…
The NRA has invited members of its Ring of Freedom — “freedom-loving individuals, families or companies who make gifts of $1,000 or more per year to the NRA”. Staterooms for the weeklong excursion run from $4,895 per person for double occupancy to $8,795 for single occupancy. The cruise is co-sponsored by Freedom Alliance, a nonprofit founded by North in 1990 to promote military service and a strong national defense. North promises: “Your tour will be special from start to finish.”
But not as special as it might be. Strict European gun laws would, under almost all circumstances, prevent guests from carrying firearms.
Would I be committing a social solecism if I quipped, “Poland just breathed a sigh of relief”?
And apart from mockery, what’s on the agenda as we start the weekend?
Dave
Am I silly to wonder if the entertainment and speeches will be given in the original German?
Central Planning
I saw that post that mistermix put up.
Iowa Old Lady
Cooking/gardening question: A friend gave us a jar of home canned dilly beans. I assume he wants the glass jar back, but what pieces of the top should I save to return? The screw top part, I’d guess, but what about the flat part in the middle? Can everything go in the dishwasher?
Omnes Omnibus
The neo-fascists in Austria and Hungary are, no doubt, thrilled.
Gin & Tonic
Well, their kind are more than welcome in Hungary these days.
Gin & Tonic
@Iowa Old Lady: The flat part in the middle can’t be re-used. The ring can.
Mike in NC
Screw the NRA and that gang of grifters and criminals. But a cruise on the Danube is really spectacular. We did it six years ago and it seems just like yesterday.
Too bad they won’t encounter any icebergs.
Iowa Old Lady
@Gin & Tonic: Thank you. That was my guess but I wasn’t sure.
Villago Delenda Est
Yup, stay on the cruise boat and away from those icky ferriners. Sounds like the ideal NRA vacation.
Miss Bianca
@Mike in NC: or snipers. oops. did I just say that?
Villago Delenda Est
Oh, do the Germans, Austrians, Slovaks and Hungarians know that a ship chartered by a terrorist organization is going to be sailing along the Blau Donau?
NorthLeft12
Okay, my wife and I did a Danube cruise a couple of years ago and we enjoyed it. I doubt we would ever do one again as we usually plan all our own accommodations and meals, etc., but we decided to try this as a change of pace. I agree that you end up to be a little too insulated from the places and people in the area, but it is kinda nice to be pampered and overfed like that.
We had a pretty good group of people from all over, so it was nice to meet and talk to people from different parts of the US, Canada, South America, and Australia/New Zealand. Yes, there were a number of right wing dbags, but I steered clear of any political discussions [I promised my wife] that would get my blood boiling.
Brachiator
I was going to see “Finding Dory” on Sunday, partly to beat the expected heat of predicted tripled digit temperatures in Southern California this weekend. But it doesn’t sound like half the fun of the NRA sponsored cruise.
All that freedom they’re throwing around:
Also, apart from North, didn’t most of these clowns skip out on actual freedom-gettin’ military service?
Also, again, if it’s playing near you and you’re in a movie mood, check out “Love and Friendship,” Whit Stillman’s adaptation of Jane Austen’s “Lady Susan.” Very droll, and a sharper bite than the average Austen adaptation.
Prescott Cactus
It’s a river cruise. We can’t even wish for seasickness.
Baud
I’m proud to be in Germany
Where at least I know I’m free.
Major Major Major Major
@Brachiator: Man, that’s some quality freedomin’, right there.
Mnemosyne
So, question for Florida and/or Orlando folks — the Giant Evil Corporation will match my donation to OneOrlando or another 503(c) of my choice to benefit the shooting victims in Orlando. GoFundMe and similar efforts are not eligible. Is OneOrlando looking like an okay place to put some dollars, or is there a better existing healthcare charity that serves that area?
Ruckus
@Dave:
One would wonder, but in any event I’d expect that the named participants to be able to sing along if it was.
Bodacious
Ha, ha,ha,ha!!!
Yes, when we also took that trip I distinctly remember a stop in Nuremburg. Too bad a Cheney and a Rumpsfield didn’t tag along. Probably afraid a noose would be waiting for them too.
dedc79
It’s funny because they’re making the military ever more deadly and all-powerful even though they’ll tell you the reasons they need military weapons as civilians is because they may one day need to resist that same military.
redshirt
@Bodacious: I’m not sure Cheney can leave the country. Can anyone with better Google Fu than I confirm if Cheney has left the USA since 2008?
MomSense
@Mnemosyne:
Does the hospital that treated the trauma victims accept donations to pay for their care?
jake the antisoshul soshulist
Am I a terrible person to wish for a small meteor?
Where is Katherine Ann Porter when we need her?
Gravenstone
@Iowa Old Lady: Canning lids can’t be reused, and are dirt cheap to buy. So just wash and return the Mason jar.
gindy51
@Brachiator: A little norovirus would be an added plus! http://www.cdc.gov/nceh/vsp/pub/norovirus/norovirus.htm
debbie
Can’t the crew accidentally abandon them in Ukraine?
Trollhattan
Jesus, the NRA in Austria broke my irony meter.
Bodacious
@Gravenstone: As a mega-canner, I would plead for the return of the ring (screw portion), even before the jar. The top lids ARE dirt cheap, but price moves up when you try to buy both pieces for replacement. I seem to always get the glass back.
I know, relative to the cost of good tequila, everything is cheap.
Iowa Old Lady
@Gravenstone: Thanks. This jar had green beans with dill, garlic, and a giant red pepper. I’m hoping if I give the jar back, I’ll get more.
Mnemosyne
@MomSense:
Good question. I have no idea. The hospitals would need to be registered as a charity with the GEC, but they’ve been there for 30 years, so there must be one or two.
HinTN
@Iowa Old Lady: No, no, yes
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@MomSense:
Good question; we can hope.
Did you see my question for you below, about a local race?
debbie
@Iowa Old Lady:
Wash and return all of them and let the canner decide what to keep.
JustRuss
This has to be a hoax. Everybody knows you can’t have a freedomy Freedom Cruise of Freedom without gunz.
otmar
@Villago Delenda Est: I just found out about this.
Too bad I’m too busy to raise a fuzz here in Vienna.
Omnes Omnibus
@otmar: Just find a payphone and report some suspicious activity down by the quayside.
Gin & Tonic
@debbie: The Ukrainians have troubles enough of their own without a boatful of American RWNJ’s.
redshirt
@Omnes Omnibus: That sounds illegal.
Omnes Omnibus
@redshirt: Do you doubt that this particular group of people is likely to be doing something shady at any given moment?
Hal
Saw this on Facebook a couple of days ago. Fuck correlation/causation, let’s just string together some history to make it seem like one thing led to another. and remember, average citizens with hand guns can always over power a military.
redshirt
@Omnes Omnibus: Probably not, actually. They are a boatload of squares. And I doubt any of them have illegal guns on them.
Warren Terra
@Omnes Omnibus:
Hungary has been essentially full-on fascist for half a decade now, and Austria missed electing a fascist by inches this year (and instead elected a former Green, which will probably offend the NRA more). I’d say anyone with pretensions to an interest in freedom would refuse to spend money in Hungary and be real careful about Austria.
eclare
@Hal: Friend of mine emailed something similar, saying civilians needed to be armed to prevent military takeover. Luckily a sane friend of mine emailed back that drones and Hellfires will easily defeat armed civilians. I.Just.Don’t.Get.It.
Mike in NC
@Hal: Standard NRA propaganda holds that Hitler and the Nazis confiscated everybody’s guns when they came to power. It’s bullshit if you were not a Jew.
Manyakitty
@Brachiator: I saw that the other day. Fun and frothy, just right!
Brachiator
@JustRuss:
Hail, hail, Freedonia!
Brachiator
@Hal: Well, let’s see. Germany, for example.
History is always more complicated than the typical FB post.
Aleta
@Mnemosyne: A Tampa friend recommended The Center to me, which has been offering LGBT services for years in orlando, including basic medical tests, counseling, support groups, library, senior services. They are helping now to coordinate air travel, pet care, child care and other support that’s being offered to families, as well as increased counseling and help line services. They are “tax-deductable” but I don’t know about the 503 part.
WaterGirl
@Iowa Old Lady: They sell toffee in mason jars at the farmers market, and you get 50 cents back if you return the jar, so they don’t cost much.
But I support your hope of getting more if you return the jar! Plus that gives you one more opportunity to say how much you enjoyed them. (hint, hint)
WaterGirl
@Aleta: 503(c) = tax deductible
JustRuss
@Brachiator: Upstart!
ThresherK
@Brachiator: Freedonia?
Bah. Klopstokia will sweep the medals.
father pussbucket
The FAQs don’t say whether passengers can be armed.
Mnemosyne
@Aleta:
I checked the company database and they’re an approved organization, so I can send them my money and they’ll get a matching donation from the GEC. Thanks!
boatboy_srq
@Prescott Cactus: it’s a Danube cruise. Sail far enough and toxic waste is a possibility (thanks, Caucescu!). Plus the Soviet-era hydrofoil fast ferries between Vienna, Bratislava and Budapest break down sometimes: midriver collision?
lollipopguild
@Brachiator: Groucho Marxist!
low-tech cyclist
@Brachiator:
If you think this country’s bad off now, just wait ’til they get through with it!
Davebo
Wow, they must bring a lot of value added stuff for those members. Cough up a grand or more in contributions to the NRA and they’ll let you take a Euro river cruise, for a week, for just under 9 grand single occupancy.
Never mind that you could book the same cruise, but one lasting two weeks, all inclusive in including food and booze, for less than 5 grand.
Wayne, Ollie et all gotta get paid.
redshirt
I wish I could transport for 3 hours onto that boat during one of the dinner parties. Just to be able to rub shoulders and talk with Ollie and the other heroes on board. No way could I spend much more than 3 hours.
Amaranthine RBG
You understand that the way these cruises usually work is that the ship travels from city to city where the passengers disembark each day to do things in each city?
Your obsession with the NRA is making you a little wackadoodle. You’re not alone in that regard.
Anne Laurie
@Davebo:
The surcharge is for the right to brag to all your golfing buds at the club about how you smoked Newt’s fat cigar, got offered a bourbon by Mr. NRA, and even offered Sen. North some helpful advice on the best home security systems.
Not to mention a whole glorious week of freely sharing your very well-rehearsed opinions on The Negro, The Gays, and The Wetback — in an atmosphere of Kameraderie with like-minded True Americans. And the Negroes, Gays & Wetbacks bringing you fresh drinks & clean towels can’t even walk off the premises in protest, har har har har!
Anne Laurie
@Amaranthine RBG:
One of the standing complaints from/about such cruises is that the hardcore “Americans” either don’t leave the boat, or they decamp in tight clusters to demand cheap trinkets & obsequious entertainment while complaining about bad smells, unruly natives, and the inexplicable refusal of the locals to understand English no matter how loudly they’re addressed. (Or so I’ve heard from friends who loved their Danube/Swiss Kindermarket/Bavarian castle cruises, but were hideously embarrassed by some of the others on the boat.) I have no faith that people who’d pay to rub shoulders with Newt Gingrich or Oliver North would chose to stay on the “courtesy” side of the behavioral bell curve…
redshirt
@Anne Laurie: It does sound pretty sweet, if I were a rich enough Wingnut.
MomSense
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
Nope, missed it. I’ll go check now.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@MomSense: Get my email from Adam or AL if you want to talk off site and get involved in the county prosecutor election. A friend of mine is running and needs to meet some people in our neck of the woods. If that office can be flipped, this is a likely year to do it.
Iowa Old Lady
@WaterGirl: I told him that last weekend and gave him some brownies. Fair trade!
MomSense
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
Which county?
MomSense
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
Ok, I’ll get your email from AL. I’ve been meaning to email her some photos. I don’t have time for meetings but I can definitely do phone calls. Every election I always do calls-either lists or virtual phone bank.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@MomSense: Hamilton. He needs some introductions/events in the area and I don’t know enough neighbors. Sad!
maya
So, because of fortress Europa’s weak, we luv Islomofascist terrorist gun laws America’s first line of defense for our freedoms won’t be shooting at any riverbank targets from the upper deck.
The Lodger
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Hamilton is running for county prosecutor? Don’t tell Mnemosyne.
Woodrowfan
It could be paid for by all the money North stole from the illegal Iranian arms sales.
PaulWartenberg2016
this whole past week has been a staycation for me. and a working one at that: I’ve been editing my political rant book for publication and judging works for the Florida Writers Association.
J R in WV
@maya:
That is correct. No target shooting allowed on the European Riverine cruises. I has a sad…………
J R in WV
@PaulWartenberg2016:
Wait!
Wait !!
Wait !!!
You can are being paid for a political rant books? That is so wrong!!!!
Why am I not being paid for political rants books?!?!?!
Congratulations!! Excerpts must be provided to here right away. That is all !
redshirt
@J R in WV: Have you ever noticed that modern Republicans are Death Cultists? I mean, you don’t say it in “polite” company, but…..
Snarki, child of Loki
The cruise should terminate with the passengers disembarking at the new Libertarian haven Liberland, on the Danube.
And they’re welcome to STAY there also, too.
Mike G
A week of nonstop self-righteous bitching about European gun laws and the lack of “Murkan food”, condescendingly talking loudly and slowly to the non-English-speaking staff.
I imagine they’ll stop in Braunau to see the birthplace of the Austrian corporal.
Does Daesh have any torpedo-bearing mini-subs, by any chance?
Hartmut
I visited the German shipwright where they build the river cruiseships specifically for US-residents-only tours. What the guide told us I found pretty disgusting. The average European (even quite wealthy ones) would not want to take a trip on these boats (if allowed) but not for lack of luxury. It seems that the guys that book there demand to be treated like feudal lords (or Southern plantation owners before the Civil War) and behave accordingly. Of course no local food will ever be tolerated on board (iirc including the water the icecubes USians put into every drink are made from).
Dennis
They wouldn’t have weapons on board even if Europeans allowed it. The NRA doesn’t allow carrying weapons at its own convention. They are evil hypocrites.