Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

President Musk and Trump are both poorly raised, coddled 8 year old boys.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about its history.”

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Fucking consultants! (of the political variety)

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Decision time: keep arguing about the last election, or try to win the next one?

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

Let me file that under fuck it.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

You are here: Home / Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?

Reader Interactions

70Comments

  2. 2.

    Paul in KY

    He’s a dick, but he is rich, so he does have a ‘legitimate’ reason to be a Republican.

    Unlike the losers who support them, as the real bosses of their party seek to keep them in servitude.

  3. 3.

    dmsilev

    And Tom Brady stayed away.

    That’s got to be a cosmic message of some sort, but I’m not sure what.

  5. 5.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    with Gingrich and Cruz speaking on the same night, we might just see a repeat of The Night Of The Two Pats from ’92

  6. 6.

    dmsilev

    The Times’ summary of the days is classic:

    Night 1: A Benghazi focus, followed by border patrol agents and Mr. Shaw, whose son was killed by an undocumented immigrant. Senator Cotton, Mr. Giuliani, Melania Trump, Ms. Ernst and others.

    Night 2: A focus on the economy: Mr. White, president of the U.F.C.; Asa Hutchinson, the governor of Arkansas; Michael Mukasey, the former United States attorney general; Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, a vice-presidential possibility; Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the majority leader; Tiffany Trump; Donald Trump Jr. and Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin.

    A focus on the economy, brought to you by UFC, a former Attorney General, and a governor who’s state has badly lagged its neighbors in economic metrics since he took over. And _two_ Trump children.

  7. 7.

    LAO

    I love how Tebow is “saved” for night 4 — the big kid night! This is going to be a tremendous shit show — I may actually have to watch.

  9. 9.

    Elizabelle

    Not interested in Tebow, but glad that Timothy’s son, Luke Russert, is shuffling off the NBC airwaves.

    Does anyone believe it was Luke’s timing? Although maybe he’d mentioned leaving, and network moved the timetable up. Didn’t watch much of him, but he did not seem competent. (All the more reason to be an NBC hire.)

  10. 10.

    ArchPundit

    You know he was cut by several teams. I like quarterbacks who weren’t cut. Sad #tebowwtf

  11. 11.

    Mnemosyne

    We need a bingo card for Tebow’s speech. I’m sure it’s going to be all about how his career flopped because he loved Jeebus too much and was persecuted for his faith, not because he was overhyped and mediocre.

  12. 12.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Elizabelle: he mentioned in his statement he’s turning thirty, maybe that’s when the strings fall off the trust fund, though considering his mother’s twitter handle is something like “LukesMom” (and she’s an accomplished writer, Maureen Orth), I can’t imagine Little Lord Luckysperm was denied much.

  13. 13.

    eric

    @Mnemosyne: I have never gotten that vibe from him. I would bet it is about hope and love and community. Campy no doubt, but i doubt too heavy on the god bothering.

  15. 15.

    laura

    I’m crossing my fingers that Tebow will deliver his special brand of mansplaining love for the fetus. It’s what I look for in a not so successful athlete!
    Watching him connect that message with the cheeto-faced shitgibbon is going be the yoogest, classiest cluster-fail. Bigly.

  16. 16.

    Splitting Image

    @Paul in KY:

    He’s a dick, but and he is rich, so he does have a two ‘legitimate’ reasons to be a Republican.

    Fixed that for you.

  17. 17.

    LAO

    @Mnemosyne: Tebow is the perfect, textbook example of the delusional “Christian Persecution Complex” — he was a horrible quarterback, totally unsuited for the NFL, his stats were atrocious — but obviously, nobody gave was willing to give him a fair shake because of his religious faith. As if, faith and Christianity is a bar to playing professional sports. Tell that to Russell Wilson.

  19. 19.

    MJS

    One cannot be a true “Christian” and a supporter of Trump. The two are mutually exclusive. So it seems Tim will be renouncing his religion at the RNC. Very strange.

  21. 21.

    Ridnik Chrome

    Night 3: Ms. Bondi; Ms. Collins; Newt Gingrich, a former House speaker; Senator Ted Cruz of Texas; Eric Trump; Ms. Gulbis; and the nominee for vice president.

    I guess that means Newt isn’t going to be Trump’s running mate.

  25. 25.

    gvg

    Tebow is a sincere Christian who was a really amazing college quarterback and beat a lot of teams in the very partisan SEC. He was slightly more religious as a player than usual but not terribly so IMO. I am a Gator fan and saw him play. I also saw that the fans of the teams that the Gators beat didn’t like him and reacted angrily to him which eventually included mocking his faith. Tebows style was a very bad fit with the NFL and the knowledable Gator fans said so. Some unusual college talents manage to adapt to the NFL, but mostly not and I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t make it. I will also say that the opposing fan reaction is not that unusual in the SEC nor is it just one team. All the big hyped stars get anger from the opponents fans, but most fit NFL styles better. It has kinda gotten on my nerves, not about Tebow, about all of the venom collectively. there is usually one in the League at a time that gets the attacks and yes it almost always goes on past the college carreer.
    Tebow has been raised by his parents telling a story that they were told he as a fetus was probably not well in some way I forget now and they were encouraged to get an abortion but they didn’t. So he really is anti abortion. His parents were missionaries not in the states and it sounded like they got bad info but I can’t really judge.
    I think Tebow is letting a crook use him and a sincere Christian ought to run away from Trump. I also think it’s pathetic for Trump to have to get a football player as a speaker at the convention. It looks to me like Trump can’t get many speakers. It may also be that he doesn’t actually know the normal type of political party speaker.

  27. 27.

    maya

    Tebow is speaking in hopes that it will drive up the value of that helmet dRumpf bought with other people’s money at the Susan B. Komen charity fundraiser awhile back for $12k. It hasn’t been seen since

  32. 32.

    VOR

    The Guardian called the lineup a “Rogues Gallery”. Seems appropriate.

    “The Guardian confirmed that quarterback Tim Tebow, who shot to fame in the NFL for his religiosity more than for talent, will appear although his name was not on the list. Dana White, the president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship who once tweeted “lol Hitler wasn’t a hater”, is also named as a speaker.”

  34. 34.

    Frankensteinbeck

    An entire night devoted to Benghazi. I know they’re fucking insane, but they can’t be THAT fucking insane. Nobody outside the Beltway cares. The conservative base itself barely cares anymore. Outside that base, it’s going to look like a whole night of paranoid schizophrenics explaining what the photo collage on their wall means.

  36. 36.

    Face

    Tebow is a sincere Christian who was a really amazing college quarterback and beat a lot of teams in the very partisan SEC

    Huh?

    I am a Gator fan

    Oh. Unbiased, natch.

  37. 37.

    LAO

    @gvg:

    I think Tebow is letting a crook use him and a sincere Christian ought to run away from Trump

    I understand Tebow was raised by parents who told him he was G-d’s greatest miracle but he’s an adult now and is responsible for the decisions he makes and actions he takes. Why Gator fans feel this need to give him a lifetime pass and accept the premise he is merely a tool misused by those he trusts, boggles me. Maybe he’s just a tool?

  39. 39.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @MJS: Sort of like you can’t be a fan of Ayn Rand and be a true Christian. Which tells us all we need to know about the zombie eyed granny starver.

  40. 40.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    I’ve read that Eileen Collins is on the speaker list. That’s just sad.

    @father pussbucket: Heard that on the radio-device this morning and damn near popped a blood vessel. If the GOP had their way, she’d have never gotten near the controls of an airplane except when bringing the (male, of course) pilots their dinner.

  41. 41.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @maya:

    Tebow is speaking in hopes that it will drive up the value of that helmet dRumpf bought with other people’s money at the Susan B. Komen charity fundraiser awhile back for $12k. It hasn’t been seen since.

    This made me flash back to an episode of Monk in which the OCD clean-freak detective is in the office of an incredibly rich sports fan. One of the priceless treasures on display is a helmet (or it might be a football or basketball) signed by the MVP. Monk can’t stand the sprawly disfiguring autograph, so he rubs it off. The look on the rich guy’s face when he realizes is one of the most classic takes I’ve ever seen.

  43. 43.

    Kylroy

    Between Dana White and Tebow, Trump has lined up sports figures who embody both what he thinks he is (ruthless businessman) and what he actually is (big-talking incompetent).

  44. 44.

    gogol's wife

    You guys are going to have to live-blog this for me so I don’t have to stare directly into the sun.

  46. 46.

    Gator90

    @Face: I suppose I am as biased as my screen name would suggest, but TT was one of the greatest players in college football history. I believe he is, among other things, the only 3-time Heisman Trophy finalist. I don’t think anyone has reason to believe he is not a sincere Christian, in his own way. On the other hand, I can’t deny he is a preening right-wing douchenozzle who (like many other great college players) couldn’t hack it at the next level. It is what it is.

  49. 49.

    low-tech cyclist

    Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?

    Doug, you’re evil.

    As an antidote to that godawful earworm, here’s Fallon being Tebowie!

  50. 50.

    MJS

    @Gator90: Speaking at the convention that will serve to nominate as President someone who has promised to round up and deport millions of people is all the evidence I need to doubt that he’s a “sincere Christian”. No, not “doubt”. Know that he’s not a sincere Christian.

  52. 52.

    SenyorDave

    @gvg: Tim Tebow will turn 29 in August. He’s not a 22 year old kid who is being used. He chooses to speak at the convention which will officially nominate a bigoted fascist as POTUS. Must have skipped Jesus’ messages when he was reading his bible.

  55. 55.

    TriassicSands

    Tebow may suck here on Earth, but he’s first string on God’s football team.

    It sounds, creepily, like Trump is planning something that would be at home in Las Vegas — not at one of the premier casinos, but rather at a smallish dive that is struggling to exist.

  56. 56.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    women don’t have a first name?

    @Barb2: No, just the surname of the man who owns them, as Jesus and Allah intended.

  58. 58.

    TriassicSands

    @ArchPundit:

    My understanding is that Tebow failed as a professional because his fingers were just too short for the pro game.

  61. 61.

    shortribs

    @gvg:

    It may also be that he doesn’t actually know the normal type of political party speaker.

    That’s a plus for the GOP base. They don’t believe any normal poltical party person should even be President. It wasn’t too long ago a plumber was all the rage in GOP circles.

  63. 63.

    C.S.

    So lemme get this straight . . . Tim Tebow — a guy who was instrumental in Florida’s January 2007 whalloping of Ohio State in the BCS Championship game, and a guy whose last college game was Florida’s absolute destruction of Cincinnati in the 2010 Sugar Bowl — has been asked to speak in a featured spot . . .
    . . . at a convention . . .
    . . . in Ohio?

    ETA: Yeah, I know they’ve forgiven Urban Meyer, but c’mon.

  64. 64.

    low-tech cyclist

    @Booger:

    There’s a GREAT story behind that song, which was written by the ‘Pina Colada Song’ dude.

    That might be so, but by the end of 1970, I’d already heard that song enough times for one lifetime.

  65. 65.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Barb2:

    Just the surname on second and subsequent references in an article. House style. In contrast, that is the first time Gingrich and Cruz are mentioned. Nothing sinister.

  66. 66.

    C.S.

    @gvg:

    . . . and the knowled[ge]able Gator fans said so.

    Assumes facts not in evidence. Both as to the knowledgeable part and the saying so part.

  67. 67.

    Shalimar

    Why are we making fun of future Senator/President Tebow?

    Be very wary of Tebow. He will beat Bill Nelson if he runs against him in 2018. Tebow isn’t a joke in Florida. The Florida fans worship him. And all he has to do after that is avoid scandal to be a hell of a lot more credible presidential candidate than anyone who ran on the Republican side this year.

    edit: The fact that they put Tebow speaking on the final night is a tip-off. It means he will definitely be going into politics soon.

  70. 70.

    Shalimar

    It turns out that scheduling Tebow for the final night says nothing about his political intentions since the Trump campaign failed to actually speak with him first. Classy.

Comments are closed.