Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

“woke” is the new caravan.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

I was promised a recession.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Let’s finish the job.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Other Things Melania Trump Wrote

Other Things Melania Trump Wrote

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Who could forget when Mrs. Trump said:

Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.

Or the stirring words with which she calmed fears about the Great Depression?

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Or when she set an out-of-control opposition straight:

I did not have sex with that woman.

Can y’all believe this shit? What a clusterfuck of a train wreck of a dumpster fire of a campaign.

Sorry to bigfoot you, AL. But Melania Trump’s blatant plagiarism of Michelle Obama needed to be front-paged.

Is there no end to the tackiness of these mofos? Of course not. And I’m convinced the Trump campaign will try to brazen this out.

Reader Interactions

170Comments

  4. 4.

    seaboogie

    Right now I am so happy to have finally dialed into Twitter and curated my feed. I did it just to vent and tweak der Drumpf, and this is like the twitter version of July 4 fireworks. So much fun!

    And also everyone walking out on Joni Ernst’s speech…not the violence we anticipated, and all of the idocy we hoped for – and more. We need the pink circus popcorn for this – not the regular good stuff.

  5. 5.

    gf120581

    Trump’s apparently furious at the media for making a big deal out of this. Because of course he is.

    What a complete dumpster fire of a convention. And it’s only the first day!

  8. 8.

    Mike in NC

    Must have been the yooouuugest and classiest speech ever delivered at one of these hate rallies.

  9. 9.

    fuckwit

    We are witnessing the self-destruction of the Republican Party.

    This is history– glorious history– being made.

    Thanks, Obama!!

  10. 10.

    cmorenc

    Even aside from the plagiarism of Melania Trump’s speech, the irony of whom she lifted it from – Michelle Obama’s 2008 convention speech, is deliciously surreal. The best part is that the resulting media turd won’t really land in Melania’s pocket, but rather that of her husband’s campaign for such poor advance management of such a purportedly key moment – a speech by Trump’s wife to sympathetically humanize him to the TV audience outside the RNC.

  11. 11.

    Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA

    From Jon Favreau on Twitter (edit: link didn’t work):

    “Sarah Hurwitz, Michelle’s head speechwriter, used to be Hillary’s. So the Trump campaign plagiarized from a Hillary speechwriter.”

  15. 15.

    hitchhiker

    Me five hours ago: holy shit, did he really just say THAT?! I thought I couldn’t be shocked anymore.

    Me four hours ago: What the living fck. I thought I really had passed the shockable stage

    … repeat nine more times, until it was finally over.

    Me reading this link: okay, we all have to lie down now because the world has turned inside out and we’re going to be trying to make pancakes with dog leashes & comet.

    Truly, the historic proportions of this catastrophe are going to be a thing to behold.

  17. 17.

    Mike J

    Donald J. Trump ‏@realDonaldTrump 1 hour ago
    It was truly an honor to introduce my wife, Melania. Her speech and demeanor were absolutely incredible. Very proud! #GOPConvention

  18. 18.

    inventor

    “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no baby!”
    -Melania Trump

    these are fun!

  20. 20.

    cmorenc

    It’s as if the Obamas used magic to punk the RNC and Trump from the inside tonight by planting Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech in Melania’s head. Donald Trump has to be as angry as a classic Donald Duck tantrum tonight up in his hotel room.

  21. 21.

    JCT

    It’s the lede on CNN -this is hilarious. And so fitting. With quote from Melania about how she wrote it herself. LOL

  23. 23.

    Baud

    “All the world’s a stage,
    And all the men and women merely players.”

    -Melania Trump

  24. 24.

    Jerzy Russian

    If we look at this from the point of view of the aliens in Slaughterhouse Five, we can’t really say if Mrs. Trump copied Mrs. Obama’s speech, or the other way around.

    Speaking of the Tralfamadorians, I think I would rather live in their zoo with Montana Wildhack then be on the planet where the existence of Donald Trump and the current GOP is possible.

  25. 25.

    cmorenc

    @JCT:

    Not to mention the irony of the crowd cheering Michelle Obama’s words. Words fail.

    It’s all I can do right now to keep from falling out of my chair, and I can barely type, I’m laughing so hard. This is absolutely delicious.

  27. 27.

    Ravi

    I think it’s other way around. Michelle stole future first lady’s speech in 08.
    In other news, India plagiarized Trump Taj Mahal.

  31. 31.

    amk

    I wouldn’t be surprised at all if donnie dreck claimed that it was Michelle Obama who stole melania’s speech and the pathetic msm will nod along.

  32. 32.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    “Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again.”
    -Melania Trump

  33. 33.

    C.S.

    “Who’s on first, what’s on second, I don’t know is on third.”
    — Melania Trump

  36. 36.

    Mike J

    @JCT:

    Not to mention the irony of the crowd cheering Michelle Obama’s words.

    Michelle Obama’s words about working hard and being honest.

  37. 37.

    cmorenc

    How odd that mention of the plagiarism thing over at the Fox News site is in a tiny sub-headline, unlike the red banner full-page headline over at CNN.

  38. 38.

    The Dangerman

    And I’m convinced the Trump campaign will try to brazen this out.

    No question; Trump NEVER apologizes, only doubles down (see Frozen star). He’ll claim Michelle invented time travel and cribbed off Melania before he will admit to a mistake.

    Funniest tweet I saw tonight.

  39. 39.

    C.S.

    “In the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky.”
    — Melania Trump

  40. 40.

    Baud

    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

    — Melania Trump

  42. 42.

    Betty Cracker

    @cmorenc:

    Donald Trump has to be as angry as a classic Donald Duck tantrum tonight up in his hotel room.

    I can totally picture that!

  44. 44.

    toschek

    I love that Trump’s campaign is trying to make the narrative about how “The Media” is a bunch of meanies picking on his poor widdle trophy wife for innocently reciting cliches. Some former Senator was just telling Tweety that “these are the kind of things mothers say to their children all the time! ‘Work hard!’ ‘Dream big’,” etc. Tweety wasn’t having it at all, just said to the guy basically, nope – nice try tho!

    Joy Reid is totally on point with this shit too. If Michelle had pulled this shit in 2008, the media — left and right — would have DESTROYED her (and Barack). The right especially would have had a field day, it would have been all about his credibility, his judgement and whether or not he had encouraged her to do it. If Michelle had done this in 2008, we’d probably be in the middle of McCain’s 2nd term knee deep in an Iranian quagmire. Meanwhile Trump lies, cheats and steals more often than most people breathe and other than a couple of days of howling from MSNBC and the left-leaning blogs I don’t expect ANY other media outlets to do anything more than compare this to Joe Biden cribbing Neil Kinnock (because both sides do it, dontchaknow) and giving Trump’s campaign yet another pass because Zsa Zsa obviously meant no harm.

  46. 46.

    JCT

    @Mike J: I’m surprised that Melania didn’t burst into flames at that point. You really just can’t make this shit up. The Trumps can’t be honest about ANYTHING.

  49. 49.

    toschek

    @Betty Cracker: ”

    Look out for Melania’s giant sunglasses and long sleeves for the rest of the week after the beating she’s going to get once they are back in their hotel room.

  50. 50.

    sigaba

    @Bartolo Fink: I wanna see that speech’s long form certificate of live birth.

    Of course, now that Melania’s speech is the officially sanctioned chew-toy (which all the serious people are desperate to not call “plagiarism”), the media now has license to not take about how Rudy Giuliani has gone completely insane, or Antonio Sabato, unreconstructed birther, or what any of the other speakers promised to destroy.

  52. 52.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: You forget: “aliph, lam, mim”
    (I wrote my undergrad honors thesis on the mysterious letters of the Quran)

  56. 56.

    C.S.

    “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to ME? Well I don’t see anyone else here …”
    — Melania Trump

  57. 57.

    Bupalos

    Come on guys, if you sit an infinite number of Slovenian models in front of a typewriter and have them type randomly, eventually they are bound to write Michelle Obamas speech. There is no story here.

  60. 60.

    trollhattan

    “Hold the door! Hold the door! Hold the door! Hold the door! Hold the door! Hold the door! Hold the door!”

    –TrumpSoFresh

  63. 63.

    GxB

    “Todd’s Don’s got the rifle, I got the rack!”

    -MT

    Goddamn this trainwreck is really something else.

  64. 64.

    amk

    The punk thief of a fraud must be hating how the Obama’s continue to torment him, even to the day of his biggest moment of his life.

  65. 65.

    C.S.

    “Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move, gonna make you sweat gonna make you groove.”
    — Melania Trump

  66. 66.

    Bupalos

    Come on guys, if you sit an infinite number of Slovenian models in front of a typewriter and have them type randomly, eventually they are bound to write Michelle Obama’s speech. There is no story here.

  69. 69.

    kevin

    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. For Mrs. Trump to double-imitate (plagiarize) Michelle Obama, probably # 3 on the list of Republicans’ most hated people on the planet (1. Hillary 2. Barack 3. Michelle), is just perfect. Does schadenfreude damage karma?? I hope not . . .

  70. 70.

    Calming Influence

    Melania, back at the hotel after the plagerism story breaks (beating Trump over the head with a diamond encrusted hairbrush):

    “This is not ‘Nam! This is bowling! There are rules!”

  73. 73.

    max

    @C.S.: “Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move, gonna make you sweat gonna make you groove.”

    ‘There’s a lady who’s sure, that all that glitters is gold, and she’s riding a down escalator to Heaven…’

    max
    [‘Could we get her to cover ‘The Wind Cries Mary’?’]

  74. 74.

    NotMax

    “Ahh, but the strawberries… that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with geometric logic that a duplicate key did exist.”

    – M. Trump

  76. 76.

    Mary G

    I could a been a contender!

    –Melania Trump

    The communication director finally issued a statement that completely ignored the plagiarism issue, just said it was written by writers who took bits of stuff she told them and the speech was beautiful and a success. The unmitigated gall of them. Bill, Hillz, the Perez and Michelle m just be rolling on the floor right now.

  79. 79.

    Mike J

    In writing her beautiful speech, Melania’s team of writers took notes on her life’s inspirations, and in some instances included fragments that reflected her own thinking. Melania’s immigrant experience and love for America shone through in her speech which made it such a success.

    Jason Miller, Senior Communications Advisor

    So, that settles that, right?

  84. 84.

    Brent

    @amk: Pretty sure the Obama tweet is photoshopped. Aside from the timestamp, it doesn’t read like anything he would write. I would say its actually a bit condescending.

  85. 85.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

    -Melania Trump

    (The plagiarism story was second on the local news here in LA.)

  86. 86.

    Mike J

    SwiftOnSecurity ‏@SwiftOnSecurity 8 minutes ago
    #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes “I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux.”

  87. 87.

    The Dangerman

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    I saw Endeavour, very cool.

    Agreed; it will fucking amazing when it’s vertical and the full stack. Actually, come to think of it, I kind of like it being the way it is as you can get oh so close. Really pretty amazing. Only problem I had was I couldn’t fund a spot to get a seriously good overall pic so I hope you had better luck.

  88. 88.

    scav

    Wonder how much of Melania Trump’s husband’s legislation will be lifted direct from Michelle’s husband’s? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  98. 98.

    Betty Cracker

    Why are all these dumb motherfuckers on CNN and MSNBC bending over backwards to give Mrs. Trump x 3 a pass on this? If she wrote the speech, she plagiarized it. If she didn’t write it, she lied to Matt Lauer. All this misplaced chivalry is pissing me off.

  99. 99.

    patroclus

    “And the words of the Prophets are written on the subway walls.”

    -Melania Trump

  102. 102.

    TriassicSands

    According to D. Trump we’re going to defeat ISIS by having “unbelievable intelligence.” Didn’t we have that in Iraq?

    A person with Trump’s penchant for lying really should avoid using the word unbelievable, since virtually everything he says is unbelievable, but not in the common usage meaning extremely good.

  104. 104.

    jl

    @Betty Cracker: They are corrupt cowardly corporate hacks.

    Edit: OTOH, if they believe that if a public figure is lady then she merits easy treatment on the grounds of chivalry. I am sure we will see them adopt the same attitude towards HRC.

  105. 105.

    Adam L Silverman

    @seaboogie: Trump lost him a while back. Got to give EE credit on this one. I agree with him on almost nothing, but his principles/position on this one is good.

  108. 108.

    PhoenixRising

    What if this was no ‘error’…as we all chase the rabbit away from the primetime debut of a rhetoric & vocabulary for American fascism?

    Melania steals 400 words is a dog biting a man. The invocation and speech from a former general officer, two separate exhortations to jail the opposing candidate…would have been man bites dog not that long ago.

    Sweet dreams y’all.

  109. 109.

    The Pale Scot

    Anybody Know?

    I’m trying to find a quote, something to the effect of “all these smart people trying got tell us what to do, Not smart people need representation too”

    It was said by a preacher or state rep I think, googles no help.

    Thanks

    Edit: I thought this was an open thread, sorry Betty

  110. 110.

    jacy

    A) It feels like the media is running with the plagerism story to avoid talking about the ugly content of the rest of the night. Easier to focus on a shiny object. (Not that I don’t want to see this endlessly pushed until Lil’ Donnie’s head explodes.)

    B) Should keep a lot of people busy endlessly running every word in every speech from the whole convention to see what else has been plagerized. Like some liberal plant speechwriter leaving endless easter eggs!

  112. 112.

    patroclus

    “Welcome to the Hotel California! It’s such a lovely place.”

    -Melania Trump

  113. 113.

    RaflW

    Kasich’s former campaign manager tweeted this eve after the news broke “Campaigns always reflect the values of the candidate. Always.”

    That is why I think this will be so damaging. It is classic Trump: slapdash, cheap, and incompetent. Melania basically telegraphed Trump University as the high note of the night.

    The only downside is it distracts from processing the total horror of what all he other speakers vomited up from Cleveland tonight.

  114. 114.

    jl

    @jacy: Are they discussing all the lies, damn lies and infernal lies peddled to the viewing public this evening?

  115. 115.

    amk

    da trump dumb base.

    @EWErickson You #nevertrump folks are NEVER going to win! How can you know for Michelle Obama didn’t copy from MELANIA. Thats what I thought

    I didn’t think my earlier rhetorical question will be answered so soon.

  117. 117.

    patroclus

    “I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so.”

    -Melania Trump

  118. 118.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @jl:

    I am sure we will see them adopt the same attitude towards HRC.

    Started huffing paint?

  120. 120.

    seaboogie

    @jacy: Your point is an excellent one. However, in the media-world that lives on clicks instead of journalism, sometimes you have to take what you can get. What gets purchase, and then maybe that starts to drive the narrative a bit. Kind of sorry that Melania (who presumably shares a bed with that nightmare of a fleshbag) is pilloried in this process. But she is a woman, so there is also that.

  121. 121.

    Carl W

    @Mike J: I’ve been smiling at a lot of the “Melania Trump” quotes, but that’s the only one that literally made me laugh out loud.

  122. 122.

    patroclus

    “If the British Empire and its Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, THIS was their finest hour!”

    -Melania Trump

  123. 123.

    scav

    @RaflW: Well, the base has clearly and repeatedly demonstrated they don’t mind the whole racist, violent, xenophobic and mean allegations. Let’s she how they react to being made publicly look gullible, very very very silly and made to cheer (caught on tape!) the words of Michelle Obama.

  124. 124.

    mike in dc

    The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

    –Melania Trump

  125. 125.

    sukabi

    @hitchhiker: ha, pretty ssure the same thoughts were had during the McCain / Palin convention, and the rallies that followed… but yeah, the bar is now fully buried about 4ft below scum.

  127. 127.

    patroclus

    @Carl W: These were my best from the earlier thread:

    “By Grabthar’s Hammer, by the Suns of Warvan, What a Savings!”

    and “As God is My Witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”

    -Melania Trump

  129. 129.

    Aleta

    True story: Two students handed in identical homework. Asked them to come talk to me.

    The first one came in. Showed him both homeworks, said one of them must have copied off the other. He swore he didn’t cheat, didn’t copy off the other guy and didn’t share his work.

    ” So why is your homework word for word the same as his?”
    “He probably got it off the same website I did.”

    I kid you not.

  131. 131.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @OldDave: Nice, the California Science Center also has an Apollo, Gemini and Mercury capsules. I got pics of them on my last visit. As Dangerman noted above, they’re going to put Endeavour up in the upright position with a fuel tank and solid rockets.

  133. 133.

    TriassicSands

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Adam, I think this is one of those cases of a broken clock being right twice a day. Erickson’s objections to Trump are not that he’s lying, ignorant, racist, xenophobic POS, but rather that he isn’t a “real conservative.” Give credit where credit is due, but I don’t think this is one of those cases. Erickson is still the same vile winger he’s always been.

  134. 134.

    agorabum

    “What is this, a school for ants!” – Melania Trump

    Seriously, though. She is just a model who decided her best bet was to marry Donald Trump. I know the press is generally nice to her, but…

  136. 136.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @The Pale Scot:

    You may be thinking of former (late) Senator Roman Hruska.

    Hruska is best remembered in American political history for a 1970 speech he made to the Senate urging them to confirm the nomination of G. Harrold Carswell to the Supreme Court. Responding to criticism that Carswell had been a mediocre judge, Hruska claimed that:

    “Even if he were mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they, and a little chance? We can’t have all Brandeises, Frankfurters and Cardozos.”[2]
    This speech was criticized by many,[3][4][5] and Carswell was eventually defeated.

    — Melania Trump Wikipedia

  140. 140.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Mike J: I think this is the beginning of the Trump campaign blaming it on writers, not on Melania who had “very little” help from writers. It’s just an innocent mistake, guys! :)

  143. 143.

    Aleta

    “Someone’s got it in for me. They’re planting stories in the press. Whoever it is I wish they’d cut it out quick. But when they will I can only guess.” -Melania T

  144. 144.

    seaboogie

    @Adam L Silverman: Agreed. He’s a major misogynist too, but it also seems like the scales have fallen from his eyes WRT his cherished party of righteousness. Kind of sweet when that happens.

  146. 146.

    I Am Not King Jon Snow

    “King of the north!”

    -Melania Trump

    Seriously, though, are we sure that the Trump campaign is not some sort of elaborate DNC orchestrated false flag operation? This is just too good to be true.

  148. 148.

    seaboogie

    @Betty Cracker: Betty, Betty, Betty….both sides, horse-race…c’mon sister, get with the program. That said, I think that I speak for most of humanity in that we have some empathy for Melania – that she got drug into this nightmare, and that she has to share a bed with that putrefying sack of rotting pustulent offal that oozes and bubbles in the hot Florida sun, down Mar-A-Lago way. Then again, make your bed…

  150. 150.

    TriassicSands

    @The Pale Scot:

    It’s old, but some quotes are timeless and this is one. Hruska really was speaking for the Republican Party. Nixon revealed his utter disdain for the SCOTUS when he nominated G. Harold Carswell, a man who was clearly unfit to be a Supreme Court justice.

  151. 151.

    terben

    “Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you”

    M Trump

  152. 152.

    Turgidson

    @TriassicSands:

    Was about to come in and say the same thing.

    Erick “Goat Fucking Child Molestor” Erickson hates Trump for all the stupidest reasons, and would probably be A-OK with the bigotry and authoritarianism if he thought Trump could be trusted to sign Paul Ryan’s Granny-Starving budget atrocities and be as much of an asshole to gays as EE thinks is necessary.

  153. 153.

    TriassicSands

    @Turgidson:

    To fairly judge EE, all you have to do is look at his entire history up until he came out against Trump. He has said many of the same kinds of vile things that Trump has said and his politics are horrendous.

    I think you could have safely eliminated the word “probably.”

  154. 154.

    Repatriated

    @I Am Not King Jon Snow:

    Seriously, though, are we sure that the Trump campaign is not some sort of elaborate DNC orchestrated false flag operation? This is just too good to be true.

    Also note the thinly disguised Rickroll. Was that put in there to ensure that the remainder of the text would get thoroughly checked for other pop-culture references and thereby facilitate discovery of the plagiarism? Or was it put in so that if anything about the speech “felt familiar”, finding the Rickroll would settle that question?

    On the other hand, it might have been intentional trolling/limit pushing as an attempt to start the “pivot to the center” — could they succeed in getting a GOP audience to accept and applaud even Michelle Obama’s words if they came from a Trump family member?

    The simplest explanation, of course, is the obvious one: who, in the expected GOP audience, would have heard Mrs. Obama’s 2008 speech in the first place or think to check against it for plagiarism? In that context, it’s the perfect place to steal from!

  161. 161.

    dianne

    TPM has the funniest thread going since Tbogg’s thread on the Romney boys campaign bus. I was laughing out loud.

  163. 163.

    M. Bouffant

    @The Pale Scot: The phrase is along the lines of “Mediocre people need representation too”. I think it was said by a Senator about a SCOTUS nomination in the ’60s. Can’t remember more, but “mediocre” is the key word.

  164. 164.

    TriassicSands

    @M. Bouffant:

    See comment number 139.

    Roman Hruska, speaking from the great hereafter* about presidential nominee Trump :

    “Even if he is ignorant and not very bright, there are a lot of ignorant people and dumb Republicans. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they, and a little chance? We can’t have all Lincolns, FDRs, and Washingtons.

    No, Roman, we sure can’t. (See Reagan, Ronald and Bush, George W.)

    * Or wherever really stupid former Senators go after they die.

  170. 170.

    maya

    As God is my witness, I will never go to Hungary again

    See! It’s different.

    Melania Trump

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