Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

Balloon Juice, where there is always someone who will say you’re doing it wrong.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

“Facilitate” is an active verb, not a weasel word.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

So many bastards, so little time.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

You are here: Home / Nature & Respite / Birdwatching / Clever Birds and Angry Hens (Open Thread)

Clever Birds and Angry Hens (Open Thread)

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I was taken aback just now to look out the window and see this unimaginably huge hot plasma sphere in the sky. The sun has returned to the Sunshine State! It’s been raining for days, and we’re all kinda crabby about it.

The rain created a new canal adjacent to a Gulf Coast beach dwelling parking lot. A black-crowned night heron checked it out to see if there were any fish:

Nah. But this snowy egret, blue heron and willet (I think) are on the right track:

Image

I’d share a photo of my angry, sodden hens, but they basically screech “fuck you!” every time I show my face outside. They seem to think I control the weather and blame me for the muddy conditions.

Anyhoo, open thread!

PS: Important reminder from valued commenter BR: If you haven’t already, sign up to volunteer for HRC’s campaign. Every time a new volunteer signs up, a racist, sexist, self-aggrandizing demagogue gets closer to a humiliating defeat!

Reader Interactions

250Comments

  2. 2.

    germy shoemangler

    Egrets, I’ve had a few;
    But then again, too few to mention.
    I did what I had to do
    And saw it through without exemption.

    I planned each charted course;
    Each careful step along the byway,
    And more, much more than this,
    I did it my way.

    Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
    When I bit off more than I could chew.
    But through it all, when there was doubt,
    I ate it up and spit it out.
    I faced it all and I stood tall;
    And did it my way.

  3. 3.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @germy shoemangler: Correction:
    Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
    When I bit off more than I could chew.
    But through it all, when there was doubt,
    I ate it up and spit it out.
    I faced it all and I stood tall;
    And ATE it my way.

    I like my egrets slow roasted.

  4. 4.

    BR

    Hey just wanted to remind everyone — don’t forget to sign up to volunteer for the campaign. Especially if you’re in a state that’s not rock solid blue — the map is expanding dramatically, but there is still no rock solid path to 270 (Hillary only has a lock on 269 EVs right now). We need to lock down some more EVs.

  5. 5.

    Shell

    They seem to think I control the weather an

    My critters certainly do. My dog can’t understand why, if i can make a room light or dark, make it warm or cooler, why the heck I can’t make it stop raining.outside.

  6. 6.

    PhoenixRising

    Hillary in the Deseret News: It takes a ward to be compassionate to refugees.

    Mitt’s socks are officially knocked off.

  10. 10.

    pacem appellant

    The new cat is adjusting fast to life in our household. She is very happy playing by herself. And she is doing wonders helping the brood confront their fears in the form of unconditional love. Other than the allergies, she is perfect. And I’m really glad we went with a rescue and not a breed. I work from home, so the best part of my day has become when I take a break and just pet the purring kitten. In conclusion, we love our cat.

  13. 13.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @craigie: For those who don’t believe in gravity, let’s go up in a helicopter and then see if “intelligent falling” actually works.

  15. 15.

    Cat48

    Nice photos, we have rain in SC today which is a nice change. Read that Hillz has hired people in AZ &’GA & is running ads in those states. Might as well, I don’t get what Trump’s plan is, but I read the US Nazis were giving him a serious look. True, but sickening.

  18. 18.

    MattF

    Since this seems to be a very open thread, I’ll post a couple of grafs from the NYT story about the upcoming World Chess Championship in NYC:

    The official chess world, it should be said, is as fractious as the Olympics. Kirsan N. Ilyumzhinov, the Russian businessman who heads the World Chess Federation, has been sanctioned by the United States Treasury Department after being accused of “materially assisting” Syria’s president, Bashar al-Assad, and also said he was abducted by space aliens.

    During the controversy about a planned Islamic center near ground zero in New York in 2010, Mr. Ilyumzhinov wrote to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg offering to build a 24-story interfaith tower designed like a chess piece on the site instead. Support for his governing practices is not unanimous in the chess world.

    You can read the whole article here.

  22. 22.

    smintheus

    Trump voter: “I like Trump because he always says exactly what he means.”

    Trump: “Somebody could shoot my opponent.”

    Trump voter: “He didn’t mean that.”

  24. 24.

    Shana

    @pacem appellant: Glad to hear it. I suppose adding a kitten is a little easier than adding an adult cat.

    Our temporary New Cat is somewhat adjusted to our permanent Original Cat. They both have the run of the house during the day, but we put NC in the basement (fully finished, campaign field organizer living in the guest room) at night. They still go at each other from time to time, but more often just have a standoff, staring at each other or growling. We only have NC until younger daughter heads off to grad school around Labor Day but I’m still hoping they settle in with each other a bit more before then.

  25. 25.

    Betty Cracker

    @kindness: Yes, but though I’m blamed for the rain, I don’t get credit for the worms. Chickens aren’t especially fair minded.

    @Major Major Major Major: If Trump hadn’t stepped on his own pee-pee in spectacular fashion, the email thing would be getting a lot more play.

  29. 29.

    Pogonip

    @pacem appellant: What is best in life? Cute purring kittens and cute wagging puppies. Which unfortunately grow up to become pooping cats and dogs.

    Speaking of which, aren’t we due for a Walter update?

  30. 30.

    Mnemosyne

    Cats. I moved some boxes around in the apartment and now Charlotte is using them as cover to stalk and pounce on the other two cats, which they do NOT like. Now I need to rearrange said boxes, put a new Feliway diffuser in the bedroom, and try to distract everyone with actual toys.

  31. 31.

    Felonius Monk

    @Betty Cracker:

    I’d share a photo of my angry, sodden hens, but they basically screech “fuck you!” every time I show my face outside.

    Is it time to remind them who is the potential “chicken dinner” and who is the “chicken diner”?

  32. 32.

    Cat48

    Trump is having a rally in VA today which even GOP strategists say will go to Hillz bc Kaine is so well liked there? I thought he might run some ads with all the money he raised last month, but none so far. NRA is running ads.

  33. 33.

    JCJ

    Is Amir around? Apparently no Pokemon Go for you!

    From the Bangkok Post

    KUALA LUMPUR: Pokemon Go officially landed in Malaysia on Saturday a day after the local Islamic authority warned Muslims against playing the smartphone-based augmented reality game over fears it could lead to a craving for power among a host of evils

    “On Aug 1 the Islamic Legal Consultative Committee of the Federal Territory discussed and decided that the games Pokemon Go and Pokemon are not allowed for Muslims,” mufti or religious expert Zulkifli Mohamad al-Bakri said in a statement posted on the committee’s website on Friday.

  34. 34.

    Mnemosyne

    @craigie:

    I sometimes think of Flat Earthers as people who were raised without fiction in their lives, so their deep need to tell interesting stories gets channeled into elaborate “science.”

    Plus, of course, they’re usually batshit crazy, though generally in a quite harmless way.

  35. 35.

    bemused

    That fits the typical wingnut reasoning. It must be a secret code or talent only rightwing voters know, how to sense what a Republican politician really meant vs what he/she actually said.

  40. 40.

    JGabriel

    Betty Cracker @ Top:

    … a racist, sexist, self-aggrandizing demagogue …

    You forgot: assassination-inciting.

  46. 46.

    Mnemosyne

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    That’s true, too. I also can’t help thinking that people who are that fanatically dedicated to thinking that everyone around them is lying to them probably had some really bad parenting.

    BTW, I got your email and I’m still contemplating so I don’t jump into something and get in over my head, but I’m leaning towards yes. I’ll email you back by the weekend.

  47. 47.

    Amir Khalid

    @JCJ:
    I’m not the kind of person to play Pokemon Go myself. So I have no dog in this fight. But the Federal Territory Mufti’s statement is a doozy. It demonstrates a belief in the reality of Pokemon Go’s fictional world that no one among the game’s creators or players shares. So I question the Mufti’s sanity. (Fortunately, he’s only in charge of KL.One would hope the other state Muftis have a bit more sense than he.)

  48. 48.

    MrSnrub

    I’ve been thinking about Trump’s cabinet, should he win.

    Who would want to be Trump’s Secretary of State?

  49. 49.

    Mnemosyne

    @Amir Khalid:

    It’s not uncommon for religious fundamentalists to think of any storytelling and fiction as competition for their religion. Which is a shame, because Islam has a long and deep tradition of storytelling.

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Betty, I was having a conversation with a member of a Facebook group (I don’t know her personally), and she mentioned that she owns several hens and they all adore bananas! She said they run in a group to meet any car that pulls into the driveway, and if the driver doesn’t immediately offer them bananas, they become very peevish.

    Have you ever fed your hens bananas? If yes, do they like them? If no, do you think you might include banana in their next feeding and report back?

    In imagining all the foods in the world that hens might enjoy, I think “bananas” would have been down near the bottom of my list.

  51. 51.

    raven

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    What do you do with an airsick ARVN
    What do you do with an airsick ARVN
    What do you do with an airsick ARVN
    Early in the mornin’, early in the mornin’
    Throwin’ up his rice’n’water
    Early in the mornin’
    Way hay and up she rises
    Filial’ up his helmet liner

    What do you do with an airsick ARVN
    Throw him out the door!

  52. 52.

    Amir Khalid

    @MrSnrub:
    Remember John Bolton, George Walker Bush’s nominee for UN Ambassador? He was the guy who suggested demolishing the top ten floors of the UN building. Wouldn’t do the UN any harm at all, he said. Bolton was so toxic he couldn’t be confirmed. If he’s still alive (maybe someone could check this on Wikipedia) he’d be just the SoS for the Trump administration.

  58. 58.

    Amir Khalid

    @Major Major Major Major:
    I dunno. I’d picture FT Religious Dept enforcement officers (yes, there is such an agency) accosting Pokemon Go players in the street and demanding to see their identity cards, to prove the players aren’t Muslim. But that would require more manpower than is practical. They (and their counterparts in all states) also enforce the laws against Muslims buying/drinking alcohol in the same way, but in practice you only get caught if someone rats you out.

  60. 60.

    bemused

    @Amir Khalid:

    When the US tried prohibition moonshiners took up the alcohol slack. I’m guessing cooking up homemade liquor would be too risky there.

  61. 61.

    Mnemosyne

    @JGabriel:

    Yes, but you can make phone bank calls to other states. I did that for Obama in 2008.

    ETA: Also, even blue states need help driving old and disabled people to the polls.

  63. 63.

    Lizzy L

    California is deep blue, but I’ll be happy to cold call Ohio — I did that for the Obama campaigns. I lived in Cleveland many decades ago. Or whatever. Meanwhile I’m contributing funds and posting articles supporting Clinton on social media. This last sounds trivial, but a friend told me last weekend that she goes to my FB page every day specifically for the political posts, and that I’ve changed the way she thinks about Hillary Clinton. GOTV!

  64. 64.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Mnemosyne: The Dems in my experience are pretty well organized for GOTV efforts. I’ve phone banked since 2008 in Oregon, and sometimes they would send us to exotic foreign lands like say Missouri to contact people to remind them to vote. In Oregon it’s a bit simpler as we tell people to go to the kitchen table and open up their ballot envelope and spend like five entire minutes of their lives filling it out.

  66. 66.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Mnemosyne: I remember encountering a nest of flat-earthers who would mob social-media posts from NASA, insisting that everything was fake. I looked at the profiles of a few of them and they seemed to be the kind of people who basically believed every conspiracy theory at the same time–often a mix of political left- and right-wing ones. And a lot of them were serious antisemites as well, which should probably not be a surprise.

  67. 67.

    jl

    Dear Balloon-Juice,

    I found Chris Christie’s non-denial denial of staff charges that he lied about his Bridgegate thing to be thuggish and disgusting, but also hilarious and in an odd way emotionally satisfying. Is there something wrong with me? How do I purge this evil malicious glee from my heart?

    Surprise! ‘Chris Christie Is A Lying Liar Who Lies About Stuff!’ Love, His Staff
    http://wonkette.com/605379/surprise-chris-christie-is-a-lying-liar-who-lies-about-stuff-love-his-staff

  71. 71.

    Amir Khalid

    @bemused:
    Like today’s Teabaggers, the temperance movement in America tended to punch above its weight, from what I’ve st ; they had to fight against a society where drinking wasn’t really as frowned upon as it is among Muslims. It couldn’t make Prohibition last more than, what was it, 14 years?

    It’s not as difficult with Muslims, where there is a longstanding religious prohibition on drinking. Not that many Muslims drank anyway, back when the prohibition was loosely if at all enforced. Peer pressure against drinking only began tightening up among Muslims here in the late 1970s as people started getting more overtly pious. Even then it was gradual. Well into the 1990s, a Muslim could still get a drink in a bar here if they were discreet.

  72. 72.

    Pogonip

    @jl: after the Germans were nice enough to come up with a word for what you’re feeling (Schadenfreude), you might as well just enjoy it.

  73. 73.

    Gravenstone

    @jeffreyw: My stepfather’s retired parents were somewhat avid fisherfolk. After his father passed away and we were in the process of cleaning out their home after relocating his stepmother to an apartment, we made the rather appalling discovery of just how much fish they kept from their avocation. Four chest freezers filled basically to the brim with cleaned bluegill. We were initially only aware of the one near the back entrance. We discovered the other three in the basement.

  75. 75.

    jl

    @Pogonip: Their black-crowned night herons are nice.

    @Amir Khalid: Thanks for cute cutechickenpic. Try that with Cracker’s chickens and they’d rip your throat out, throw it on the ground and peck at it in a disinterested and contemptuous cranky way for the rest of the afternoon.

  76. 76.

    Cat48

    I saw on Twitter that Bernie bought a summer home at Lake Champlain for $600,000. There was a link to a Vermont paper. Sounds nice.

  77. 77.

    Trollhattan

    @Gravenstone:
    That’s profoundly weird. Man, that would make for some hella big fish fry. IIRC bluegill are kind of fussy to cook and eat, small bony things.

  80. 80.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Mnemosyne:

    I sometimes think of Flat Earthers as people who were raised without fiction in their lives, so their deep need to tell interesting stories gets channeled into elaborate “science.”

    Also, about this: The really hardcore Christian fundamentalists tend to think fantasy is Satanic. Some make an exception for “Left Behind”-type fiction that dresses up techno-thriller, science-fiction and fantasy tropes as Bible prophecy. Others reject even that stuff: the Bible and approved nonfiction books explaining the Bible to you should be your only sources of entertainment. Either way, the fantasy urge comes out as incredibly strange ideas about the supposedly real world. Everyday life becomes a continuing struggle against literal demons.

  81. 81.

    dexwood

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I can tell you my hens, The Sisters of Perpetual Poultry, love bananas, but they go nuts over watermelon and cantaloupes. I’ve tried most fruits and veggies with them, but have found they will not touch broccoli.

  83. 83.

    Trollhattan

    @eclare:
    The price per egg is probably in the tens of dollars but time spent in their backyard is endlessly amusing. Chickens are strange critters with…personalities? Who knew?

  84. 84.

    raven

    @Gravenstone: I’m surveying my gosh puppy because I have to do smoked fist tacos for a garden club event. I took them out of the freezer last night and I have 10 gallon bags of redfish, amberjack, and red and mingo snapper.

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    @Matt McIrvin:

    Anti-semitism usually pushes the same elaborate storytelling conspiracy buttons, so I’m not surprised there’s some crossover between fandoms, if you will.

  88. 88.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Trollhattan: Yeah, I saw that. There is actually another district court action out of Madison that invalidated several parts of the Voter ID law. That has not been enjoined as yet.

  90. 90.

    hovercraft

    From Politico

    Donald Trump lashed out at Joe Scarborough on Wednesday after the MSNBC host urged Republicans to disavow their nominee

    “Morning Joe’s weakness is its low ratings. I don’t watch anymore but I heard he went wild against Rudy Giuliani and #2A – sad & irrelevant!” Trump tweeted.

    Someone’s unhappy. SAD!

  92. 92.

    Mnemosyne

    @Matt McIrvin:

    I think humans are a storytelling species, and there’s only so much you can do to suppress that urge by channeling it into other directions. There’s a reason why cults end up with some really bizarre versions of the “truth.”

  93. 93.

    dexwood

    @Trollhattan:

    I figured the first egg we ever got cost us about $600, but the price dropped with every egg thereafter. The hens always make me smile, however, because they can be so goofy.

  96. 96.

    catclub

    @Baud: It sure seems to me that those voter restriction laws have been a failure even when implemented, because the targeted groups are not stupid and vote even more reliably – at least it seems that way for top of ballot issues.

    Does anyone have any evidence showing reductions in voting after those laws have passed?

  97. 97.

    Prescott Cactus

    @BR:

    Hey just wanted to remind everyone — don’t forget to sign up to volunteer for the campaign.

    I’d like to piggy back on BR’s suggestion.

    Long term consider being a Precinct Captain. It is a thankless job, but one of the most important things to be done because of the personal contact of Dem party to Dem voter. Yes it takes some time and it’s not for everyone, but do consider.

    I was taken aback when I found out my small bright red town had 120+ Precinct Captain positions and just over 30 were filled. I was also pretty shocked when I found out that:

    “Out of roughly 181,000 precinct seats nationwide that vote at the county level, party estimates figure less than 90,000 of those positions are actively filled. Less than half of precinct seats nationwide have a member sitting in them.

    DKos is running a series on starting a campaign from the ground up and each week they have another installment. This link brings you to “Precinct Captain 101”.

    I volunteered, was appointed and the then had to collect only 5 signatures to be on the ballot this Fall. With less than 1/2 of these positions filled you may want entertain the idea, but to me the importance of electing Hillary trumps all other offices nationwide.

    If you decide to volunteer for Hillary, see if you can find out who your Precinct Captain(s) are.

  100. 100.

    Gravenstone

    @Omnes Omnibus: Aw, that’s cute. There’s a glibertarian chiming in on the comments about how Johnson doesn’t represent the “lesser of two evils”.

  106. 106.

    Calouste

    @MattF:

    The official chess world, it should be said, is as fractious as the Olympics.

    As far as I know, there were never two competing Olympic Games roughly at the same time, where there were two competing chess World Championships.

  107. 107.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @Omnes Omnibus: He used to be at UW, but Republican governance of the state eventually pushed him out. The key moment was when the legislature made it apparent that they intended to exercise their power to read the emails of professors they didn’t like. If you’re running a polling operation, you can’t operate in that environment. It took him a couple more years to finalize an option, but eventually Marquette came to him with an offer to run an operation there. He still lives in Madison and commutes to Milwaukee.

    I know him because my father was his thesis advisor at the University of Michigan.

  111. 111.

    dmsilev

    @efgoldman: Unless his campaign is fabricating their FEC reports (always a possibility), he is starting to raise reasonable amounts of money. It’s not really clear what it’s being spent on though; I assume he’s mainly trying to funnel it back to various Trump enterprises so that he can grift off the donations.

  113. 113.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Pogonip:

    everyone in Florida is bananas. Even the chickens.

    Agree, with all respect to PaulW, Mustang Bobby, Betty, and Betty’s chickens (there are probably other BJ Floridians but I’m not sure who they are).

  115. 115.

    jl

    @catclub:

    ” Does anyone have any evidence showing reductions in voting after those laws have passed? ”

    The failure of the Baud! 2016! campaign to get any votes shows the effect of laws forbidding his army of several supporters from camping out in the same polling place all day and voting over and over again. It was rigged, rigged I tell you!

    Edit: ‘camping out’ is a euphemism for lounging around sucking on warm beer. I didn’t want to put Baud to the trouble of having to issue a non-denial denial.

  116. 116.

    bemused

    @Matt McIrvin:

    Out of curiosity, at the time of the Left Behind series popularity, I read the first book. Horrible, horrible writer(s) aside from the subject. I don’t know how even the fundies got through the whole series.

  117. 117.

    Betty Cracker

    @SiubhanDuinne: I’ve never fed them bananas, but they do maul the leaves of our banana trees every chance they get. Will try bananas on them soon and get back to you!

  119. 119.

    Amir Khalid

    @dmsilev:
    Don’t campaigns have to report their expenditures to the FEC as well? Because otherwise campaign donations would be a great way for a grifter to launder money.

  121. 121.

    Major Major Major Major

    @catclub: Short answer, yes, but not every study finds one. Nobody really knows. You’d probably have to do a careful meta-analysis. My guess is a small but statistically significant decline.

    @bemused: Yeah, really just dreadful writing. And in the hands of a good writer it’s definitely something non-fundie audiences could have enjoyed! Then again, I’m partial to apocalypses.

  123. 123.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @bemused: As a professional writer, I remain constantly outraged at the quality of the writing people seem to like. Left Behind is bad, but not really any worse than 50 Shades of Gray (which was bad even when it was still Twilight fan fic.

    People should all be reading Becoming Phoebe, and when they’ve finished enjoying it, they should buy another copy and read that, too.

  127. 127.

    dmsilev

    @Amir Khalid: They do, but if (for instance), Trump’s campaign just happens to pay a bit more than average to TrumpHatCo, it probably wouldn’t raise any red flags. Or, if Trump’s campaign just happens to hold some lavishly-catered press events at Trump’s resort in Florida, that’s OK as well and the fact that the resort really needed to book that empty ballroom that day wouldn’t be illegal. Etc.

  128. 128.

    Miss Bianca

    @Prescott Cactus:

    Good info re Precinct Captaincy. I believe I am signed up already to volunteer, but I need to double-check. I am definitely going to be making phone calls for the Gail Schwartz campaign, so I will be making calls for HRC as well!

  130. 130.

    Iowa Old Lady

    HRC is in Iowa today. I continue to be impressed by how thoroughly prepared she is for each local context. She called out people she met on previous trips to the state.

  131. 131.

    bemused

    Do chickens have a preference for the stage of ripeness in bananas? Humans sure can be picky about not quite ripe enough or overly ripe bananas. I know I am.

  132. 132.

    dmsilev

    Getting back to that Flat Earth article, it occurs to me that it would be eminently possible to nudge Trump into spouting off on some of its claims, such as that the Moon landings were faked or that Antartica is actually a giant ring-wall of ice (to keep out the Shoggoths, who of course paid for its construction).

  135. 135.

    Betty Cracker

    @bemused: The reason our chickens have never tried bananas is that we never have any left over. When they start getting too ripe, I make banana bread. My recipe includes macadamia nuts, and it is awesome.

  136. 136.

    Paul Wartenberg

    Peak Wingnut is a lie. We know it will never reach a pinnacle.

    The antonym of “peak” is nadir.

    Nadir Trump is also a lie. We are learning it will never sink too low.

  138. 138.

    Jeffro

    My RW dad, just now via text: “I WAS OUT AT LUNCH WHAT HAPPENED WHAT WAS THE REPORT ABOUT CLINTONS EMAILS?!?”

    Me: “Um…apparently a couple State and Foundation folks tried to get each other some jobs?”

    Dad: “WHAT NO WAY THERE HAD TO BE MORE…”

    Me: “Oh you mean, did she like suggest assassination of her rival as a ‘2nd amendment remedy’? No, nothing like that”

    Dad: “THATS NOT TRUE AND NOT FUNNY…GOING TO CHECK FOX NEWS…”

    I’m tempted to tell him it was Clinton who personally delivered the $400M briefcase to the Iranians in exchange for the Whitey Tape, but he’d just, you know, believe it. Le Sigh.

  142. 142.

    Keith P.

    Random thought of the day – as much as I hate my HOA, I would love it if they mandated use of leaf blowers and weedeaters on specific days (not the ones ending in Y). Even the electric ones drive me nuts (it’s the constant rev’ing…lawn mowers don’t bother me), and in my neighborhood, it’s almost every day. 110 degree heat index, and dudes are out in jeans and long-sleeve shirts doing yards. I did it my self in high school and college, but we started at 7am (neighbors LOVED us) to finish by 11am.

  143. 143.

    scav

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Think of it as seeding the market. (expressing it in jargon almost always makes it sound more reasonable.) If they are lead to know how good it is, it can still roll-over into their buying it as a gift, even multiple times (as they certainly won’t be able to loan it!) Or, they’ll just chatter about it like that old silly shampoo commercial. They can still be multipliers. See? more mysterious jargon, inexpertly applied.

  146. 146.

    Pogonip

    @Major Major Major Major: Yes, the basic idea, while theologically and just-plain-logically absurd, would have made a cracking good story if someone else had written it. One problem was the first several books had to be cranked out in 4-6 weeks each, leaving the writers barely time to type the thing, let alone let it rest and reread it.

  147. 147.

    Mnemosyne

    @Major Major Major Major:

    My theory, for which I have no data, is that the suppressive effect of the voter ID laws is greatest in the first election when they’re in force and then become increasingly less effective as people adapt. That would be one of the reasons Republicans are constantly tweaking the list of acceptable IDs, closing down DMV offices in the “wrong” counties to prevent people from getting an ID, etc.

    As with so many Republican “solutions,” it’s a short-term stopgap, not an actual solution to the problem of turned-off voters.

  148. 148.

    scav

    @Iowa Old Lady: o, that

    “There has been more than one conversation” on the topic, the official told CNN.

    can’t everyone see the visible steam rising from that flat little sentence? Or, does one have to speak midwestern and mandarin bureaucratese? mmmm.

  149. 149.

    mike in dc

    Even if you’re in a deep blue state, they always need phone bankers on and before election day, to call people in swing states to GOTV.

  150. 150.

    Mnemosyne

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym:

    That’s actually good — at least some of those people will like it enough to buy it, and lend it to more people, some of whom will be similarly inspired to buy it, etc etc and so on. Think of it as your friend handing out free samples at Costco on your behalf.

  151. 151.

    Jeffro

    Ok, I actually did go back and tell him that (about the briefcase)…it was too good to resist.

    also told him that Jade Helm II (“O Getz Real”) is about to start, so that we can melt everyone’s guns down into a statue of George Soros…he needs to hide that family heirloom flintlock musket because HILLZ IS COMING FOR IT

    ay-yi-yi

  153. 153.

    Cat48

    @Jeffro:
    Funny thing about the emails, they haven’t read any she wrote or received. It was aides talking to different people. I don’t know why they are being covered.

  157. 157.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @scav: That’s sort of what I’m hoping, because one of the friends she’s loaned it to had two daughters that played hockey at Ohio State.* I’m really hoping that, if it becomes known within the women’s hockey community, it will take off a bit as people in it want to read a novel about it. Especially because I’m not sure that there’s any competition within that subgenre. I know of two former Gopher players that have a copy, but I have no idea whether or not they’ve read it, let alone liked it.

    *This is slightly problematic given how OSU is used in the book. I never say anything bad about the university, other than the known fact that their arena is a dump, but it’s an understatement to say that Phoebe doesn’t like the state of Ohio.

  159. 159.

    catclub

    @Jeffro: Have you ever read the Louis vs Rick blog when Louis discovers the caps lock key?
    Similar to OLDMAN CAT and the caps lock key.

  160. 160.

    Miss Bianca

    @Jeffro: Does your Dad really type in all caps, or is that just your way of conveying the tenor of his posts?

    Love the exchange, btw…reminds me of a political version of “Oldman Cat”!

    @catclub: Jinx! (which was the name of the cat in the Freddy the Pig series, just as a weird side note).

  161. 161.

    Jeffro

    @bemused: 70 and yes, although up until about 2012 he was mostly just a pro-business, pretty socially liberal (meaning towards LGBT issues) guy. We actually agree on gun control and getting money out of politics, but that’s about it.

    He’s had CDS since oh 1993 or so, I guess, and has a fair amount of disdain for women in power, so it’s been CDS-squared with HRC.

    Take all that and soak it in a couple decades (especially the last 4 years) of Fox News BREAKING ALERTS and yeah, that’s about where we’re at here, folks.

  164. 164.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    My only political concern: Trump’s flaming out way too fast. 90 days until the election. That’s 90 days he can be doing immense damage to the downticket races…but only if he stays in!

    He needs to stay ripe, rotten, and chained to the GOP with bonds that can’t be broken.

  165. 165.

    Jeffro

    @Cat48:

    Funny thing about the emails, they haven’t read any she wrote or received. It was aides talking to different people. I don’t know why they are being covered.

    Because of Clinton Rules, that’s why.

    “2nd Amendment Remedies” – most of GOP stands right beside Trump and the media gives the enablers a pass
    a couple of State and Foundation folks kicking around job opportunities – OMG SMOKING GUN CORRUPTION!!1!

  166. 166.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @Mnemosyne: Again, that’s the hope. Barnes & Noble just instituted a new policy that they might carry a self-published print-on-demand title if the author can demonstrate that they’ve sold at least a thousand copies. No one knows how this is going to work out yet; previously they had a blanket policy of not carrying print-on-demand books, and we’re not sure that a new stated policy means that they’ve really changed anything.

    As of now, I’ve sold a little over 100 copies, but about 50 of those won’t show up in sales reports, since I sent them to my Kickstarter backers.

  167. 167.

    Mnemosyne

    @bemused:

    I think the operative phrase is, “Any port in a storm.” If Left Behind is the only fiction that your cult leader pastor will let you read because the Narnia books are “too Satanic,” you will by God read the shit out of them.

    (Not spoken from personal experience — I was raised Catholic and allowed to read/watch/listen to anything that didn’t give me nightmares — but it’s a thing for fundies.)

  172. 172.

    Mnemosyne

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym:

    Have you contacted your local libraries to see if they do author talks and/or book signings? I know that’s pretty much like asking you to dip your foot in a pool of lava, but some of that has to be done, unfortunately. And would the university bookstore be willing to carry it?

    I also wouldn’t worry too much about the sales of a first novel — first novels always have crappy sales unless Oprah discovers one. It will sell better after your second novel is published.

  173. 173.

    Jeffro

    @Miss Bianca:

    Does your Dad really type in all caps, or is that just your way of conveying the tenor of his posts?

    No, but if I’d written it as he did it, with the misspellings and shortened words, it would have looked like I don’t know how to spell. Which as most of you know, is only true in the case of the Governor of Ohio’s last name. ;)

    For him, it usually means he’s wound up about something (OMG CLINTON EMAILS SMOKING GUN CORRUPTION!). I took a little artistic license with the all caps, but it’s the same idea.

    He’ll give the guns-into-Soros-statue line at least 3 reads before he realizes I’m kidding. However, that might not be a bad way to keep things light between now and November. Provided that his candidate KNOCKS. IT. OFF. with the ‘2nd Amendment’ craziness…

  174. 174.

    JCT

    @Amir Khalid: My eldest is doing field work in Morocco this summer, it’s her 3rd time living there and she said that this time she knew her Darija had finally “arrived” when she was refused service in several bars because they didn’t believe she wasn’t Moroccan/Muslim. She did admit that she broke her self-imposed rule regarding no English speaking to convince them otherwise.

  175. 175.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Miss Bianca: Oh yes. There are evangelicals who love C. S. Lewis and have adopted him as an honorary member of the tribe (whether he would have liked that or not), but he’s too much for some of them.

  176. 176.

    JCT

    @BR: Super proud of my ex-Bernie Bro son, called yesterday to tell me he signed up to volunteer for Hillary here in AZ. We may have a shot…

  177. 177.

    Cat48

    I hate them damn Clinton Rules. They put Donna Shalala in charge of the Foundation, so they wouldn’t have to run it themselves. Guess that’s not good enough.

  178. 178.

    Miss Bianca

    @Jeffro: I think “texts from Jeffro’s Dad” needs to be a new feature. At least in the comments. Cuz that shit is stone cold funny.

    In that “ha ha I laugh when I’m scared, see?” kinda way…

  180. 180.

    Mnemosyne

    @Miss Bianca:

    Well, the Narnia books have talking animals and wizards in them, while Left Behind presents a totally modern and realistic world where half the world’s population — including every child under the age of 7 and all fetuses — can mysteriously vanish and nobody really gives a shit. Not to mention that the President of the UN gains control of the whole world by making a speech where he names every country in alphabetical order from memory.

    See! Totally believable and rational’

  181. 181.

    mike in dc

    @CONGRATULATIONS!:

    He’s going to be in there through Labor Day, which means that he can’t be replaced in time for the election. The most they can do is un-endorse him and re-direct RNC monies down ballot, but doing that will anger his hardcore supporters and depress their turnout.

  182. 182.

    Mary G

    LA Times has hilarious article on two focus groups of women in Ohio and Arizona called “As voters talk, the collapse of Trump’s support becomes clearly audible.” It’s sponsored by Wal Mart and none of them love Hillary, but…

    My faves:

    “He kind of acts like a 2-year-old,” says another. “I have a 2-year-old. I see the similarities.”

    In Ohio, Ivania L, a radiation-safety officer who listed her age as between 35 and 44, said choosing Trump would be “like sending a painter to do a doctor’s job.”

    “I think Donald is going to say something that is going to scare everybody. And they’re just going to go with, ‘Whoa, we better go with Clinton cause he’s off the chain,’” said Gidget B, a white, married customer service representative in Columbus.

  188. 188.

    scav

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: I’d guess that reading real details and insider jokes, observations etc, especially the digs would far outweigh any lack of explicit constant rah-rah about a place. (Nostalgia gets far more dogmatic when safely in the rear view mirror.) People love easter eggs and will likely find some you’re unaware of putting in. I was in Iowa when Moo came out — the theories that were spun, even at the other U. Tea leaves had nothing on it.

  189. 189.

    Trollhattan

    Not funny in the least, but very Florida.

    A Florida woman attending a police seminar was shot dead during a demonstration on how to use a gun. Mary Knowlton, 73, was participating in a role-playing exercise when an officer mistakenly shot her with a live round, the Punta Gorda Police Department said. She was rushed to a nearby hospital, where she was pronounced dead. The police department did not release the name of the officer involved, but said he had been placed on administrative leave. Mrs Knowlton, a librarian, was one of 35 students participating in a two-hour community training class hosted by the police academy in Punta Gorda, Florida on Tuesday.

    She was taking part in a “shoot/don’t shoot” exercise, in which participants decide whether or not to use simulated lethal force when she was hit with live ammunition.

    There’s your goddamn stand-your-ground benefit, right there. Shoot/don’t shoot lessons?

  190. 190.

    Mnemosyne

    @mike in dc:

    Other people have said that if Donald manufactured a health crisis and insisted that he had to drop out, the states would pretty much have to let him, though there probably wouldn’t be enough time to reprint the ballots. People who pushed the button/inked the spot for “Trump” would basically be electing the Player To Be Named Later.

    Which would probably be even MORE disastrous for the down-ticket races, but I digress …

  191. 191.

    Miss Bianca

    @Mnemosyne: Plus, doesn’t Old Scratch, Lucifer, Satanas himself, actually make an appearance in the LB series? (I picked one up off the library shelf, OK, I admit it – we had the whole series, plus the “Left Behind – The KIds!” series, and they did circulate.) If that’s not “Satanic”, I dunno what is! (Really, I don’t).

    @schrodinger’s cat: Beats the crap out of me. I’m not sure why, once you reach the age of reason, you’d care to believe any of that shit, but…(shrug). I guess somehow I’m just not wired that way.

  194. 194.

    scav

    @Mnemosyne: “President of the UN gains control of the whole world by making a speech where he names every country in alphabetical order from memory” But in what language? That’s the tricky part of the password.

  198. 198.

    p.a.

    I’m going to Bostom ComiCon Sat. I’m not in the tribe, had to look up ‘cosplay’ the first time I saw the term, etc. (I see the Star Trek/Wars movies as soon as they appear, but am lost re: comics, Marvel vs DC…). There was just a tkt available and a blank on my calendar. Anyone here willing to admit they know what’s what and can clue me in on what to expect/checkout/avoid? Shatner will be there, and Gillian Anderson.

  199. 199.

    Major Major Major Major

    @Trollhattan:

    Mary Knowlton, 73, was participating in a role-playing exercise when an officer mistakenly shot her with a live round

    I think we’ve been having moral panics about the wrong kinds of role-playing. I don’t know anybody who’s gotten shot doing BDSM or playing Dungeons & Dragons.

  204. 204.

    Mike J

    @BR:

    Hey just wanted to remind everyone — don’t forget to sign up to volunteer for the campaign.

    Going to my precinct leader meeting this afternoon. I assume there will be incense and kneeling and dubbing with a sword.

  206. 206.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Mary G:

    “I think Donald is going to say something that is going to scare everybody. And they’re just going to go with, ‘Whoa, we better go with Clinton cause he’s off the chain,’” said Gidget B, a white, married customer service representative in Columbus.

    That’s a bold prediction. Does she mean he’ll do that again today?

  208. 208.

    catclub

    @scav:

    But in what language?

    King James Version English, if its good enough for Jesus, its good enough for me.

  209. 209.

    Iowa Old Lady

    According to a story at KOS, some fool protestor rushed the stage where Clinton was speaking today. The SS took them down. I don’t know what the protestor’s cause was, but this is a bad time to be daring, given how on edge the SS has to be after Trump’s remarks.

  212. 212.

    Mnemosyne

    @Trollhattan:

    Gillian Anderson is a hoot on Twitter and Facebook. And in this straight woman’s opinion, she’s even prettier now than she was on that show. Classic bone structure.

  214. 214.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @p.a.:

    had to look up ‘cosplay’ the first time I saw the term

    Me too. And, because it is a word that I see in writing but never use in conversation or hear spoken, I always mispronounce it in my head as CŌ-splay, which puts me in mind of a synchronised gymnastics routine.

    Others like this:

    Megacity (my mind wants it to have the same stress as “vivacity”)

    Biopic (to rhyme with “myopic”)

  216. 216.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @efgoldman: Nah. Zombie Molotov. Though how you could tell the difference between the reanimation & the original veersion is beyond me. The original Old Iron Butt.

  217. 217.

    Pogonip

    @schrodinger’s cat: People who grow up Protestant, as Rod did, also often grow up with church-shopping, so it’s nothing unusual for them.

    What puzzles ME is neo-paganism. Why not real paganism? You’ll gain a lot more from reading Marcus Aurelius than from reading 20th-century neopagans. I understand that modern laws make it difficult to sacrifice bullocks to Odin or whomever, but you could certainly do the best you can and sacrifice an expensive roast. (A modern version might be donating to charity the amount of money the roast would cost.)

    I occasionally see news stories about people trying to revive the worship of the Norse gods; other pantheons seem unnoticed. I don’t get it. If I were interested in paganism, I’d go for the old gods (hey, Cthulhu!) or the Dalai Lama or Hinduism or…well, anything that’s been around a while and has some moral and intellectual weight. Modern neopaganism seems so insubstantial by comparison. I just don’t understand the appeal at all.

    And now I must go to the Temple of Athena.

  219. 219.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @srv: I’m going to live forever, be richer than a thousand trumps and my marriage is going to be the healthiest ever. My Doctor says so.

  220. 220.

    Betty Cracker

    @Pogonip: Sure. Here ya go:

    2 Loaves of Banana Bread

    Ingredients:

    • 2 1/2 cups AP flour
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 2 teaspoons baking soda
    • 1 cup Crisco
    • 2 cups sugar
    • 2 cups ripe mashed bananas (about 6 bananas)
    • 4 eggs, slightly beaten
    • 1 cup chopped macadamia nuts

    Directions:

    Preheat the oven to 350.

    Grease and flour 2 loaf pans.

    Stir together the flour, salt and baking soda in a bowl. In another larger bowl, mix together the Crisco, sugar, mashed bananas, eggs and macadamia nuts. Add the combined dry ingredients and stir only until the batter is thoroughly blended.

    Pour into the prepared pans and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of the loaves comes out with only a few moist crumbs (about 50 minutes). Let cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then turn out on a rack and let cool completely.

  224. 224.

    Mike J

    @Miss Bianca: Last night at the sailing races we got three 1sts and two 2nds, but I was only captain half the time. Two man boat and we switched up. Pissed off at myself. I was going to take my gopro, but the forecast was for light winds that make boring videos. Instead they kicked up we had the gennaker up on a beam reach with the boat heeled over dramatically and the centerboard humming while we overtook the leader.

  226. 226.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Pogonip: I don’t know what you mean by paganism, neo or otherwise. Also, Hinduism as it is practiced in India bears little relationship to the new agey mumbo jumbo peddled by Deepak Chopra and the like.

  227. 227.

    Pogonip

    There were a couple of apologists, C. S. Lewis and G. K. Chesterton. I think of them as the Initial Guys. One of the Initial Guys wrote a great poem about that REALLY old-time religion.

  229. 229.

    Miss Bianca

    @JPL: OK, the comments on that story have given me my new favorite epithet for den Drumpf: “The Velveeta Raccoon”.

  234. 234.

    catclub

    @Betty Cracker: Macadamia nuts — fancy.

    My recipe has the batter sit 20 minutes in the loaf pans before going in the oven. If it is a placebo, it works for me.

  235. 235.

    Mnemosyne

    @JPL:

    What’s up with animal rights protesters hating Hillary? They were the ones who charged the stage last time, too.

  237. 237.

    scav

    @Pogonip: I’ve a residual fondness for Coatlicue (dress sense), Tlaloc (not sure why) and Shango. Saint Lawrence for those odd moments of retro (and he’s a terrific excuse for a BBQ in August — as in, today! What lucky timing. “Turn me over, I’m done on this side!” ) Rather better temple-basement potlucks if there’s a mixed lot of deities and new ones bring interesting pasta-based recipes. Their incoherency and squabbling over symbolic turf added to their fundamental cranky moodiness does rather better at explaining current reality than any singular all-ecompassing all-things-for-the-best vision of existence. Oh, can’t forget Ganesha, he should come first.

  239. 239.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Pogonip: That’s a Eurocentric view. I don’t consider Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism and more recently Sikhism, pagan. The first three predate both Islam and Christianity. Vedas are probably among the oldest texts in the world. Rigveda, the oldest Veda is almost 4000 years old.

  240. 240.

    imonlylurking

    @Tissue Thin Pseudonym: I really need to you finish that book you posted the snippet of, about the clones. I was thinking about it the other day, trying to remember the details so I could dig out the book and finish it. Please to get on that asap?

  241. 241.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Pagan is a term that first arose among the Christian community of southern Europe during late antiquity as a descriptor of religions other than their own, or the related Abrahamic religions Judaism and Islam.

    Source. It is also seems to be primarily applied to pre-Christian European religions.

  242. 242.

    normal liberal

    @schrodinger’s cat:
    I think it’s more about scriptural affiliation, since there’s a line from the Torah to the New Testament and on into the Quran. People of the Book, and so on. Not so much Eurocentric as Middle Eastern-centric. Moses to Jesus to Mohammed. Someday I will understand why Mary is so prominent in the Quran.

  243. 243.

    Mnemosyne

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    Funny story: the Church of Latter-Day Saints (aka Mormons) has been engaged in a long-running battle with the Roman Catholic Church to be recognized as a Christian religion.

    You see, when people convert to Catholicism, if you’re a non-Christian, you have to be baptized first. If you’re already baptized in another Christian denomination, you can skip being re-baptized and go straight to religious education.

    The RCC doesn’t consider Mormons to be Christians because of the Book of Mormon, and the Mormons are kind of annoyed about that, so the main LDS church petitions the Vatican every few years to try and get recognized as a Christian denomination even though it only matters when someone leaves their church to join the Catholic Church instead.

  245. 245.

    Jeffro

    @Miss Bianca:

    I think “texts from Jeffro’s Dad” needs to be a new feature. At least in the comments. Cuz that shit is stone cold funny.

    Thanks, and oh the material I’ve got for you folks…

    I’m still waiting to hear his ‘take’ (as if he has an independent, well-researched opinion on it beyond Fox) about the blessed emails that were such a big to-do today. He must be in the middle of some BREAKING NEWS…

  246. 246.

    Jeffro

    @p.a.:(re: ComicCon)

    I’m not in the tribe, had to look up ‘cosplay’ the first time I saw the term, etc.

    I know, me too – I thought it was something a little more R-rated. (Had to look it up three times, just to be sure ;)
    I guess it sounds more interesting than “slapping on a Halloween costume one of the other 364 days of the year”!

  247. 247.

    Jeffro

    @SiubhanDuinne: LOL – you too!

    I can’t see “Megacity” without starting to hear either Anthrax (“I Am The Law”) or the Screaming Blue Messiahs (“Megacity One”) in my head, just a bit…I wasn’t always as boring as I am today, I guess.

  248. 248.

    Mnemosyne

    @Jeffro:

    It can be R-rated, but it doesn’t have to be. Seems to depend on the convention and whether it’s mostly adults or kids/teens. My CA niece and nephew go to a lot of anime and Pokemon conventions around these here parts.

  250. 250.

    Hunter

    Re: blach-crowned night herons: several years ago, as part of a restoration project on Lincoln Park’s South Pond, Lincoln Park Zoo set up a nesting sanctuary on the island in the pond for black-crowned night herons, which are endangered in Illinois. The herons decided that they liked the birch trees in the wolf habitat in the Children’s Zoo better, and have been nesting there for the past several years — with great success. This year there were about two dozen nesting pairs.

    And the juvenile herons have finally figured out that, no matter how long they stand there, there are still no fish in the Waterfowl Lagoon in the Zoo.

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