Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Everybody saw this coming.

Motown is Joe-Town!

Every day Vance writes another chapter in the book called “Worst VP Pick Ever”.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

President Biden is doing good where he can, and getting it done.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Fight them, without becoming them!

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Giving up is unforgivable. ~Joe Biden

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I did not have this on my fuck 2024 bingo card.

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104Comments

  2. 2.

    Mai.naem.mobile

    You better hope his big paws with the extra toe can’t hold a knife because you’re going to be dead in the AM.

  9. 9.

    Mary G

    Is it a coincidence that the next video up is “Everest: Mountain of Dreams, Mountain of Doom?”

    I think not.

  11. 11.

    Wag

    We have tried to temp our cat with all man
    nner of canned food deliciousness and Avanti turns his nose up to all of it. Ditto for cat nip and all manner of cat treats. Dry cat food is the only thing that interests him. He’s a strange kitty but we love him.

  12. 12.

    rikyrah

    Man…

    you are CRAZY..messing with Steve like that..

    remember..you gotta go to sleep – EVENTUALLY.

    Don’t say anything if stuff in your house isn’t the way you left it when you went to bed.

    I’m just sayin’.

  13. 13.

    Manyakitty

    I should have known better than to watch that with the sound on while I’m covered by three cats.

  14. 14.

    BellyCat

    Wet food is kittehs version of the drug ecstasy, only it will ruin YOUR life AND make you poor! :-)

    Was advised decades ago by a wise Cat Whisperer to separate kitteh love from feeding. This way they don’t cry to eat and/or wake you up at night for food.

    Been doing dry food in a feeder and no people scraps for years and it works GREAT for us all. Quiet kittehs, not obese, and very happy.

    Found a great dry food lately — Fromms. The little furry hellions love the Game Bird mix. :-)

    Good luck!

  16. 16.

    Emma

    I join my fellow Juicers in suggesting that you sleep with one eye open. Just in case he can figure out how to hold a knife.

  18. 18.

    Guy Andrew Hall

    Yes, it’s obvious you are in trouble. And rightfully so. I made the mistake of teasing Cinnamon, my partial Maine Coon. Now, every day, at the same time I teased her before I finally gave her a treat she starts meowing and herding me towards the treats. If I ignore her, she swipes at my ankles. If I still ignore her, she starts nipping. I consider it pretty mild compared to how Steve gets even with you. I don’t have to hold her down and cut off burrs………

  19. 19.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    Appropriate to put this here, since my lack of progress on anything fancier has been seriously impeded by the very demanding Max Kitteh.

    The basic, words-only Remedies Tee. The Solutions Tee.

    I’m also thinking about shifting the words over to make room for a hand holding a ballot or a Vote-style checkbox. I haven’t been able to find public domain clip art of either, so far. Suggestions welcome.

  23. 23.

    asiangrrlMN

    How could you, Cole?!? Poor Sir Willie Whiskertons looks so thin and fragile. You better feed him and fatten him right up! (Just kidding. He’s looking as majestic and gawwwwwjus as ever!)

    ETA: He *is* going to smother you in your sleep, though, and rightfully so.

  24. 24.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Mobil RoonieRoo: If we don’t hear from John ever again, we’ll know why. The giveaway will be a video of Steve eating from that can with a smirk on his face.

  28. 28.

    Isobel

    John Cole, your days are so numbered. Just showed the video to my Maine Coon mix named Squeaker, and he started chirping in sympathy with Steve, then went and meowed next to his canned food. Smart cat.

  31. 31.

    Cdflower

    Henry is the Maine Coon who lives with me. Eats like a bird. Turns up his nose at breakfast, and his portion is devoured by Lena the Kitten, who weighs 15 lbs less than him. Now that’s a hungry beast.

  43. 43.

    kitty

    I am ashamed to admit that sometimes when my cat is driving me crazy I will put the unopened can in her bowl. Not for too long ’cause I value my life, but it is a little satisfying!!

  44. 44.

    different-church-lady

    Cole, your voice is so different than I imagined. You should do voice acting, or books on tape or something. Serious. You got good pipes.

  51. 51.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    @opiejeanne:

    Beautiful. I just can’t even with cats – I feel like I’ll never be worthy of their devotion no matter how much attention and space I make for them.

  55. 55.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @satby: Can’t use Adobe stock on items for sale. Nor most other stock image sites. Some also forbid use in anything relating to politics.

    I like the idea of making something more than just text, but not enough to pay commercial license prices.

  56. 56.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @opiejeanne:

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne: Beautiful portraits, but the first two look more like lions than housecoats.

    Awesome typo.

    I will hug him and kiss him and name him Robespierre and take him home with me….

  57. 57.

    Major Major Major Major

    So the vet came today. No sign of fleas, and I haven’t been bit since Wednesday anyway, so I might have got ’em. At the very least I got a nice clean apartment out of the scare. Alternate theory: he did have fleas, and pesticide works.

    But you guys, my cat weighs eighteen pounds, holy crap. I mean I knew he was big but… (this is a healthy weight)

  62. 62.

    sm*t cl*de

    Am currently investigating whether there is anything that Mrs Spat will not eat, as long as she has watched the house-apes pick it off the top of a pizza for her.
    So far, no.

  64. 64.

    Frivolous

    @different-church-lady:

    I was also surprised to hear John Cole for the first time. And surprised by his voice. Given how big he is, I was expecting something deeper, or something higher, not a voice so middle.

    It was interesting. I replayed the video a few times just to listen.

  70. 70.

    Bobby D

    So you love cats, and love electric guitar? You really need to check out cats on amps on instagram.

  71. 71.

    Frivolous

    @John Cole:

    Interesting. Thanks for clarifying. Most appreciated.

    Why hold back laughs, though? Does Steve recognize your laughter as being a clue something is sketchy?

  73. 73.

    Ruckus

    @BellyCat:
    Fromms makes both cat and dog food. My dog loved it. It ain’t cheap but it does seem to be very good. It actually smelled like food.
    Cats eat mice and birds. Raw. I’m not sure that Friskies is any worse for them than that.

  74. 74.

    Brachiator

    @gene108:

    . One day cats and dogs will discover how to turn door knobs and open cans. Our days as a species will then be numbered.

    I think they have humans well trained. Instead of having to hunt, dogs and cats can sit back and be served.

  75. 75.

    jl

    @Frivolous: No, don’t believe him. Cole has always sounded like that in every video with his voice. He sounds like Ben Stein. Have Ben Stein and John G. Cole ever been seen together? Hmmm…?

  76. 76.

    Brachiator

    @NotMax:

    . Somewhere, someone named Kitty Torture commands top dollar at an adults-only club.

    Right up there with … Kitty P@rn.

  79. 79.

    Pinacacci

    To me what Steve is saying sounds like, “You are such an asshole, FINE I WILL DANCE ON YOUR CAT TOWER. FINE. Give me the food. You want people to think you didn’t waste your money, fine I am dancing on it. Dance dance dance. Asshole. Gimme the food.”

  80. 80.

    Keith P.

    Strangely, my last cat isn’t much interested in food. I can put fancy feast (moist) down, and she’ll eat for a couple of minutes, then she just wants attention (hops on furniture to get petted or massaged, depending on the furniture and her mood). Maybe it’s that she’s female, because every male cat I’ve owned has been a pig.

  81. 81.

    sukabi

    You all know that John probably gave Steve TWO cans of food after that short video don’t ya?

    Saw a new (to me) Clinton ad. Had to giggle when it was over… used clips of Hayden, Krauthammer and several other conservatives that have publically called drumpf dangerous..

  83. 83.

    seaboogie

    Cole – it is interesting to juxtapose you being kind of a jerk to Steve with everything that you have done for Walter. I’m guessing that perhaps you were worried about Steve being away, and taunting him a bit for the worry that he caused you. Seems like your gruff stuff comes from a tender place. And also – thank you for the many pet pics this weekend – most especially of Walter who seems to be bouncing back so quickly with your wise ministrations – including today’s jaunt to the farm.

  86. 86.

    ThresherK (GPad)

    We’ll know in the morning if Steve decided to do him in.

    As a two-cat household, we had one cat who gobbled up all her food, got her in 03. In 06 the new cat also turned out to be a gobbled, so we had 2. In 12, replaced the female with another cat, and she also eats every speck immediately.

    Of course they’re all shelter cats. But we”‘ve always had cats that way and it’s a new thing for us.

    We vaguely remember the days when not having kibble in the food bowls wasn’t a crisis.

  87. 87.

    J R in WV

    Dessert recipe:: !!

    Right now the Peaches are ripe and being picked,

    Get some really ripe peaches, or some that will be dead ripe tomorrow. If they’re really big get 5 if they’re medium get 6.

    You need 2 cups of sifted flour, with 1/2 tsp of baking powder 1/2 tsp salt and 2 tblsp of sugar sifted together, then cut in a stick of cold butter to make a crumb crust. Half the peaches, I like to peel them too. Press the crumb crust into a 9×9 pan, place the peach halfs in it hollow side up. Pour half a shot of fruit liquor and the juice of the sliced peaches over the peaches, then cover them with a cup of sugar with 1.5 tsps of cinnamon stirred in.

    Heat your over to 425 and set the pan full of peaches in for 25 or 30 minutes. Meanwhile, measure a cup of sour cream, and whip 2 egg yolks into it, with a little sugar and cinnamon. If your peaches are huge, and soft, you can use 3 cups of sifted flour instead of 2, and bump everything by 50%, using a larger pan, to have room for all your peaches.

    After the crust is browned and crisping up a little, take the pan of hot peaches out, and spoon the sourcream/eggyolk mixture over everything, filling the cracks between the peaches, and covering the tops of the peaches too. Reset your oven for 350, bake that puppy until the sour cream sets up a little, the bits of peach sticking above the sourvream are browning a little. Now pull it out and put it on a rack to cool. Then you can put it in the fridge.

    Of just set down with a crowd of people who appreciate peachy desserts, because this is the best thing that can happen to a peach fresh off the tree. I try to get Romney Peaches, because Romney is higher in the hills, so the peaches are a little smaller, but sweeter. This year the rain was right, and even the high altitude peaches are the size of softballs.

    This recipe I have on a little 5×8 notecard. Down in the right hand bottom corner it says GH which are my Grandma’s initials. She typed it out for Mrs J and I when we got married.

    She got the recipe from her sisters-in-law who were Pennsylvania Dutch, they were nice enough to send their brother’s Kentucky wife some German recipes so he could have some home cooking he was used to. He had 14 siblings, and Grandma was one of 9 kids raised in a little River Boat town

    Old times. Try this, it’s really good, I made one with 5 giant peaches today, and bumped the sour cream up to a cup and a half, boosted everything by 50% really. Delish good.

  88. 88.

    Steeplejack

    @Luthe:

    I’m guessing “stochastic terrorism” was intended.

    . . . Hmm, autocorrect on my phone went with stochastic all the way and didn’t try to change it to anything else.

  89. 89.

    Pogonip

    “Can’t figure out why Walter keeps raving about how wonderful the fat guy is. He’s the dumbest valet I’ve ever had! Seems to think I can open cans!”

  91. 91.

    Aleta

    @J R in WV: Thanks. My mouth is watering. No peaches in the store here yet and no corn even. I think I remember you mentioning these PA Dutch recipes that sisters I. L. sent your grandmother in Kentuckey. Great story.

  92. 92.

    Aleta

    @Ruckus: Have wondered why some enterprising cottage industry doesn’t just can up some wild organic mice and sell it instead of this pacific line caught with blueberries elk formula that would scare a house cat out of its chair if he met it outside the house.

  93. 93.

    Robert Sneddon

    @Ruckus: Cats don’t live long in the wild eating mice and birds. I’ve an interest in the Scottish Wildcat and they have a typical lifespan of about five or six years living as Nature intended. Almost all of them are riddled with parasites such as tapeworm from their diet. The few wildcats in captivity (they don’t thrive typically) last a lot longer with a decent diet, shelter, vet treatments etc.

    http://www.scottishwildcats.co.uk/wildcat.html

  94. 94.

    Jay C

    @danielx:

    No, the giveaway will be Steve gnawing an arm down to the bones.

    An arm holding a can of Friskies….

    I know translating from Cat to English is a tricky business, but I could swear that last outburst from Steve could be construed as “Fuck you, Cole”….

  95. 95.

    ixnay

    Seems to me that I can hear Steve purring the background. And I feed my cats Friskies canned – one can, split 4 ways, twice a day (along with Purina Naturals kibble, using the Parmesan Canister Dispensing System). Then the Standard Poodle cleans up the can – conserves water! But he leaves the cat kibble alone. No 4-foot gets any people food, although Bryce the poodle would like to change that. The cats are all something like 10 years old, and the picture of health.

    Wild Organic Mice – maybe a new profit center for Jackson Labs?

  96. 96.

    KlareCole

    Steve’s first head turn away says it all. ‘Sigh, got to humor Cole. Just to get him to pull the pin. People.’

    I have been reading all these fun kitty comments while humoring my cat. He either wants to sleep on the dog’s bed or my stomach. I gave the dog a break.

    Always enjoy your cat & dog stories, John. Walter’s pictures were great. Thank’s for saving a sweet life.

  101. 101.

    Miss Bianca

    Well, you did eventually feed him, right? Or did you just taunt him with the can? If the former, we’re all good. If the latter, I guess we won’t be getting any more Walter updates…

  102. 102.

    Aardvark Cheeselog

    I have to concur with the “asshole” sentiments, but also with whoever suggested that you just ended the video before you opened the can.

  103. 103.

    JosieJ (not Josie)

    John, you’re in trouble if Steve is thinking “tonight while you sleep, I shred the drapes.” But you’re really in serious trouble if he’s thinking “tonight while you sleep, I’m sharpening my claws on your throat”!

  104. 104.

    Aleta

    I still truly love the older video that plays right after this. Lily with deep focus and calm, giving her foreleg a meticulous cleaning, unaffected by (1-2 feet away) Thurston rolling back and forth to counter fierce Lovey onslaughts. Vicious puppy growls. I find it so calming to watch Lily hold her space within a background of life and death puppy tussle.

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