Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No one could have predicted…

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

There’s always a light at the end of the frog.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

The new republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Found liable for massive fraud, is required to post a massive bond, gets a break, then files a *fraudulent* bond!

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Bark louder, little dog.

You are here: Home / Politics / The Emperor Has No Balls?

The Emperor Has No Balls?

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I’m just going to leave this here to help you get through the evening:

Naked, life-size statues of Donald Trump were unveiled in cities all over the country on Thursday, depicting the controversial candidate with a minuscule penis without testicles. The political art project was titled “The Emperor Has No Balls.”

NYC Releases statement on Naked Trump

Trump Statement1

The actual statue photo is below the fold…because some people may NEVER want to see this. Be warned, once seen, cannot be unseen.

2bbbccbc4081816trumpstatueusq-11-jpg-mobile

More photos than you’d ever want to see can be found here.

I have to go wash my eyes out with bleach now, what are you up to tonight?

ETA: I post this in hopes that Mr. Cole will bigfoot the heck out of this with the promised Walter photos I’ve waited all day to see.

 

Reader Interactions

126Comments

  3. 3.

    jl

    It’s more difficult to get permits for big erections than small ones?
    They got some reason to justify that kind of discrimination?

  7. 7.

    NotMax

    Staffers now furiously working on dissuading Donald from stripping down at next rally to prove how the artist(s) “are LOSERS who got it wrong.”

  9. 9.

    SuzieC

    OMG, epic. Trump will explode. Not only is he fat, he has a miniscule d**k. I wanted to respond the his tweet “They’ll call me Mr. Brexit” with “They call me Mr. Pitiful” but I’m not on twitter and the Trumpenfuhren don’t know from Otis Redding.

  12. 12.

    scav

    I’m suddenly struck dumb by the vision of seeing these images showing up unexpectedly on massive screens at football and baseball matches, à la political CalTech meets the Moriarty cliffhanger. Or appearing as every single image at a major news website.

    Of the poor frightened horses and children and the assault to the Geneva convention.

  14. 14.

    Corner Stone

    @NotMax:

    Staffers now furiously working on dissuading Donald from stripping down at next rally to prove how the artist(s) “are LOSERS who got it wrong.”

    Mr. Burns to Marge Simpson: “And, uh, incidentally, thanks for not making fun of my genitalia.”
    Marge: “I thought I did.”

  16. 16.

    Miss Bianca

    There was a hummingbird frenzy at one of the feeders this evening. Fourteen of them trying to perch on a seven-hole feeder. One of them, a rufous, was hovering self-importantly in front of the window, fanning his tail out to look big and tuff. The little orange runt.

    Reminded me of The Donald. Now this.

    Gotta tell ya…hummie wang displays are far less horrifying than this one.

  17. 17.

    scav

    I’m also suddenly thinking that the various park departments could probably fund themselves for a solid while by putting them up for public auction.

  18. 18.

    Corner Stone

    genitalia

    Ok, had a Mr. Burns ref there but it got eated. Trying to figure out what happened but I just can’t give a shit any further than this.

  19. 19.

    Hungry Joe

    One of my least favorite sayings is “Things happen for a reason” because everything I know and believe tells me they don’t. But now I’m going to have to take on the role of hypocrite: Sam Biederman is here for a reason. In one line he justified his entire career. His entire life. His entire family history going back ninety generations.

  20. 20.

    catclub

    One of the Temples in Athens (near the Parthenon?) is called the Erectheon. I am not sure what age I was to not giggle at that name.

  22. 22.

    Mary G

    New Yorkers are always talking about how to know Donald is to hate him; now we know that he’s stiffed the parks department at some point.

    Any ideas as to who is responsible? There may not be enough popcorn in the world.

    @NotMax: Ewwww. Hopefully a letter from the dead doctor or Melania will suffice.

  31. 31.

    Thoughtful David

    @Mary G: Not from Melania*. She’s been disappeared since her plagiarism got shown up, and I doubt she’ll ever be heard from again.

    * “Melanoma” was the actual autocorrect suggestion.

  33. 33.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    We need a word for simultaneously, together, at the same time, laughing uproariously while also throwing up a little.

    I expect a good German portmanteau word would do it. Paging Amir….

  35. 35.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @AxelFoley:

    It made me spit out my wine.

    Fortunately, it’s not very good wine, so no great loss. (Unfortunately, it’s not very good wine, so I am stuck with the rest of it.)

  36. 36.

    SFAW

    OK, first of all: how could the esteemed Mr. Biederman tell whether Deadbeat Donnie was erect? There ain’t enough there to tell.

    Second: considering Deadbeat Donnie’s personality, perhaps an appropriate title for the sculpture would be something like “The Biggest Prick and the Littlest Prick.” Or maybe “A Unique Eunuch Candidate”? I bet Don Rickles would be able to come up with something.

  37. 37.

    SFAW

    @scav:

    I’m also suddenly thinking that the various park departments could probably fund themselves for a solid while by putting them up for public auction.

    Great idea, but what would probably happen is Trump buys them all, then bounces the check(s).

  39. 39.

    Kay

    What doesn’t get talked about is this- he’s really not smart. His responses are so low level– not just vocabulary, simple words, but how he struggles to put together A + B + C . He can’t describe even ordinary processes or concepts:

    “I’m talking about at the voter booth. I mean we’ve seen a lot of things over the years and now without the ID’s the voter ID’s and all the things going on and some bad court cases have come down.”

    It’s 2nd grade level. It’s how small children speak.

  40. 40.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @gogol’s wife:

    My husband thinks they’ll respond with Hillary statues.

    There are already plenty of Hillary nutcrackers for sale in every airport novelty shop in the country. No need for anything further.

  41. 41.

    Roger Moore

    @gogol’s wife:

    My husband thinks they’ll respond with Hillary statues.

    I won’t say “bring it on”, since I don’t want to see those any more than I want to see the Trump statues, but I bet Hillary would deal with it a lot more gracefully. She’d treat it as a joke, make some quip about them, and move on.

  42. 42.

    Woodrowfan

    @SFAW: how could the esteemed Mr. Biederman tell whether Deadbeat Donnie was erect?

    because it is actually visible without the use of rubber gloves and a strong magnifying glass.

  45. 45.

    hitchhiker

    I walked past the Seattle installation of this thing earlier today. IRL it’s just awesome, full size, ugly color of pink/orange flesh, little plaque at the bottom that says “The Emperor Has No Balls.” Hung out for awhile with my dog, watching people approach, look curiously to see why others had their phones out, and then burst out laughing.

    Swell!

  47. 47.

    scav

    @SFAW: I was rather thinking he’d bid high, but then if he doesn’t pay, then we could get the court cases. Preferably with lots and lots of media coverage showing the necessary evidence. (We might have to help the parks during the trials, self-organize some weeding, pruning and loud-speaker evidence-discussion teams.)

  48. 48.

    SFAW

    @Kay:

    It’s 2nd grade level. It’s how small children speak.

    Well, you can’t say he doesn’t know his audience.

    ETA: I guess it might be his market niche, which is slightly different. Either way …

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @redshirt:

    I really think it’s brilliant art and will substantively contribute in a good way towards this election.

    Saw wotchu done.

  51. 51.

    Kay

    @redshirt:

    I’m sorry I just felt like I was writing the same thing over and over.

    Also I can’t figure out how to turn the comments on :)

    I’m going away by myself the 2nd week in September (I’ll meet up with one of my sisters later on the trip) so I’ll try to figure it out then.

  52. 52.

    SFAW

    @redshirt:

    I really think it’s brilliant art and will substantively contribute in a good way towards this election.

    That’s a “Penzance” riff, ain’t it?

  54. 54.

    Honus

    IDK. On the one hand it’s pretty funny and devastating satire, on the other, I’m kind of disappointed we’ve descended to trump’s level in making this a dick measuring contest.

  56. 56.

    Kay

    @SFAW:

    Right but listen to Obama or Hillary or Bill Clinton. My husband always says Bill Clinton speaks in full paragraphs off the cuff. He says you could transcribe it and it would be an organized essay. He’s quick, Bill Clinton.

    He’s just mediocre, Trump. There’s nothing to recommend him for anything high-powered or prestigious. If you were talking to that person on “national issues” and he didn’t have celebrity you’d be a little bored and impatient. There are so many VOTERS who know more than he does.

  57. 57.

    Roger Moore

    @lollipopguild:

    So, if you are in a NYC public park and you have an erection-you need a permit?

    If it lasts for less than 4 hours, they probably won’t get to it on time. If it lasts more than 4 hours, you need to consult a doctor.

  59. 59.

    SiubhanDuinne

    You know how that famous Mannekin–Pis statue in Brussels gets dressed in whatever garb is appropriate for the weather or season or holiday? If I were a Parks Department, I would encourage people to bring caps and mittens and scarves in the winter for the “Emperor Has No Balls” statue, or a daisy chain to drape around his … neck … in spring, or a jaunty Uncle Sam top hat and red-white-blue jacket on the Fourth of July. But they shouldn’t take it down.

  60. 60.

    burnspbesq

    I f’in hate driving from OC to Hollywood on a weeknight, but I may have to suck it up and take one for the team tonight.

  63. 63.

    SFAW

    @Kay:

    I wasn’t disagreeing with your original point, by the way — just commenting on the maturity/intelligence level of Trump supporters.

    Bill Clinton is so far outside the mainstream re: speechifying, or just extemporaneous chatting, that it’s not fair to compare him to anyone, including Trump. There’s a story that, early in his presidency, he was scheduled to give a speech that was supposed to last about an hour. Then the TelePrompter blue-screened (or whatever its equivalent is). Clinton gave the entire speech anyway, from memory.

    I think you’re being overly gracious when you describe Trump as “mediocre.” Sometimes he reminds me of a Queens-accented Jimmy Buzzard.

  64. 64.

    schrodinger's cat

    @Kay: Why do you hate 2nd graders?
    Actual conversation with my 6 year old niece, who I didn’t call on her birthday, which was last week. So I called this weekend.

    Niece : Why didn’t you call me on my birthday. I am mad at you.
    Me: I sent your dad a text wishing you on your birthday.
    Niece: OK then I forgive you.

  65. 65.

    redshirt

    @Kay: How would that not work here?! It’s perfect. Kay, we all love you. Write a front page post on your vacation. Just be sure to post it between 8 AM to 2 PM.

  67. 67.

    Soylent Green

    @Thoughtful David: My bet is that Melania has refused to have anything more to do with this shitshow. Trump would probably like to have her out there as she boosts his ego and his dudebro support. What good is having a gorgeous trophy wife if you can’t put her on display?

  70. 70.

    Baud

    Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump will appear at a Commander-in-Chief forum to discuss national security, military affairs and veterans issues in a primetime event announced Thursday by the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.

    The presidential candidates will appear back-to-back in the one-hour event on September, 7, hosted by the IAVA and simulcast by NBC and MSNBC. The two candidates will answer questions from NBC News and an audience that includes military veterans and active service members.

  74. 74.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Soylent Green:

    Does anyone else find it, um, interesting that Uday and Qusay are off shooting moose in Alaska and Ivanka is cavorting in Croatia with Wendi Deng Murdoch at the very time their man Paul Manafort gets effectively demoted and another “Let Trump be Trump” acolyte is brought in to oversee the campaign? I mean, weren’t the kids the ones who ousted Lewandowski and put Manafort in charge in the first place? And now they’re all thousands of miles from home and Daddy shakes up the team in a way they probably won’t approve?

    The dysfunctionality among the members of House Trump must be a family therapist’s wet dream.

  83. 83.

    randy khan

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The thing about the Hillary nutcrackers is that they appeal to both people who hate her and people who like her – they have different views on whether the cracking is a good thing.

    We actually have one. It was given to us by a friend who’s also a Hillary supporter. You can guess which view she had.

  84. 84.

    Mnemosyne

    @Honus:

    IDK. On the one hand it’s pretty funny and devastating satire, on the other, I’m kind of disappointed we’ve descended to trump’s level in making this a dick measuring contest.

    I also have mixed feelings about the project, though I did LOL at the parks department’s response.

  86. 86.

    catclub

    This is a top story at McClatchy on “Election 2016”

    No record that Clinton, aides took required ethics training

    ‘News’ from 2009. Employees LOVE to do mandatory training.
    No mention that Hillary killed the teacher. Thanks Obama.

  89. 89.

    PsiFighter37

    I see a lot of noise around this Iran payment. I almost think that Obama is playing 11-dimensional chess here, for reals…Trump is almost certainly going to say something idiotic as a result of this news.

  90. 90.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The dysfunctionality among the members of House Trump must be a family therapist’s wet dream.

    I would think that therapists want issues that can potentially be resolved.

  93. 93.

    Peale

    @PsiFighter37: nope. This was just really kind of confusing so it wasn’t explained well. So it will have legs. But thank god it’s before Labor Day. Trump will just say this proves that the Iran deal needs to be ripped up. Since Iran isn’t popular, we’ll see.

  95. 95.

    Peale

    @catclub: ok. Again, after this election is over, the first conservative who says Hillary wasn’t vetted will get a bloody nose. Sometimes you just have to take the assault and battery charge.

  96. 96.

    John Thomson

    OMG, didn’t think that a real response when I saw it earlier. He’ll probably get reprimanded. Let’s make sure we support him!

  99. 99.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Peale: I am sure that you would have several lawyers from around here who would be willing to do your defense pro bono. I know I have been looking forward to trying a “FFS, what the hell else could s/he do?” defense.

  102. 102.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I would think that therapists want issues that can potentially be resolved.

    Perhaps, but far more lucrative that the therapy have no terminus ad quem.

  105. 105.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Immanentize: Wisconsin or Ohio for me. And, yeah, the defense is “It had to be done and someone had to do it. I mean, come the fuck on.”

  107. 107.

    Peale

    Reading the fluff about David French’s latest defense of bullying (so boys get strong grips again!), I was shocked to learn that he is one year older than I am but apparently was raised in a completely different country. God, I honestly thought he was in his 70s the way he writes.

  110. 110.

    hovercraft

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Bloomberg says Ivanka and Jared facilitated the introduction with Trump.
    My guess is that they were willing to give Manafort the heave ho in exchange for millions. Can’t have daddy flushing all of that money down the drain.

    Until recently, Trump was not the Mercers’ favorite. During the Republican presidential primary, Mercer and his family put $13.5 million into a political action committee to support Senator Ted Cruz’s bid for the party’s nomination. They put Conway in charge of the spending.
    A few weeks after Cruz dropped out, the Mercers lined up behind Trump. The move followed a meeting in Manhattan that included Mercer’s daughter Rebekah, Conway, and Trump’s daughter Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, according to a person with knowledge of the matter.

  111. 111.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (Formerly Mumphrey, et al.):

    Donald Trump has to be seething about this right now. It makes him look ridiculous and pathetic, and if there’s anything that drives him around the bend, it’s being made to look ridiculous and pathetic. I bet he’s trying to work out who it is he ought to sue.

    You would think so, but remember, this is the man who collects, frames, and displays the covers of every magazine that has his picture, whether or not it’s flattering. He might just decide to buy up all the statues and have them line the drive at Mar-a-Lago, like the Twelve Caesars.

  112. 112.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    He might just decide to buy up all the statues and have them line the drive at Mar-a-Lago, like the Twelve Caesars.

    Why would you say that? You put that in people’s minds. Some are going to bed soon. Some have jobs that don’t let them drink the image away. Some don’t have the power of will to take a ball peen hammer to their noggins to wipe out the image. You’re just mean.

  113. 113.

    No One You Know

    @efgoldman: I’ve heard that this tradition was started by Mark Twain, in a speech about Ulysses Grant. Don’t know for certain.

  116. 116.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Hey, at least I didn’t suggest that they should be adorned with orange fright wigs and big red noses and saggy plaid and polka dot costumes with big ruff collars and size 42 shoes. I would never suggest anything like that. Not me.

  117. 117.

    Lizzy L

    @Baud: This is interesting. I have friends in (and recently retired from) the Marines; some of them can’t stand Hillary Clinton and so support Trump; at least one is firmly anti-Trump. Frankly, I can’t imagine this going all that well for Trump. Adam, would love to hear your thoughts.

  121. 121.

    Splitting Image

    @Peale:

    Reading the fluff about David French’s latest defense of bullying (so boys get strong grips again!), I was shocked to learn that he is one year older than I am but apparently was raised in a completely different country. God, I honestly thought he was in his 70s the way he writes.

    When the main theme of your writing is the depravity of “kids today”, members of every generation tend to sound alike.

  123. 123.

    TriassicSands

    @redshirt:

    A hard time finding someone to make them? Don’t forget, they found someone to make Atlas Shrugged.

    When i looked at that photo of Trump’s statue, Potter Stewart’s words came to mind (RE pornography) “I know it when I see it.”

    I’ve seen it.

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