Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No one could have predicted…

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Second rate reporter says what?

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

The willow is too close to the house.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

You can’t love your country only when you win.

You are here: Home / I, For One, Welcome Our Lesbian Farmer Overlords

I, For One, Welcome Our Lesbian Farmer Overlords

by | 165 Comments

This post is in: 

This one has been circulating through the fever swamps for a couple days not, and Jonathan Chait sums it all up:

Barack Obama is nearing the finish line of a presidency filled with accomplishments ranging from death panels to FEMA camps to the importation of Sharia law. Year eight is a natural time for Obama to unveil the most deviously brilliant plot of them all: mass lesbian infiltration of the agriculture sector. The Department of Agriculture has cleverly designed this scheme as an innocuous outreach summit to LGBT Americans living in rural areas. But Rush Limbaugh has exposed the administration’s true intentions, which are nothing less than a full-scale assault on the last bastion of red-state America.

Here’s how it works. “Rural America happens to be largely conservative. Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types,” explains Limbaugh. (Farmers are “self-reliant” because, even though their sector is technically the recipient of heavy federal subsidies, they are overwhelmingly white.) Obama has a plan to attack them:

They are trying to bust up one of the last geographically conservative regions in the country; that’s rural America … So here comes the Obama Regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up … apparently enough money it make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states.

As a resident of a member of a rural right-leaning state, I have done my due diligence and created a list of pros and cons:

PROS
1. Better farmers markets
2. everything will be organized, including you
3. new softball leagues
4. more organic everything
5. cleaner campsites
6. influx of animal rescue volunteers
7. locally owned restaurants featuring brunch
8. more liberal voters
9. instead of Fox news, all public televisions will be tuned to Ellen reruns or the Ovation network.

CONS
1. You will never get a good deal on a used Subaru wagon again.
2. Campsites and dog obedience schools will have to be reserved three years in advance.
3. Potential for uncomfortable discussions over whether any penetration makes you straight will increase dramatically.

This is not an exhaustive list, but I think the pros definitely outweigh the cons.

Reader Interactions

165Comments

  4. 4.

    amorphous

    Serious question: Does the far right really give a shit about lesbians? Isn’t the hate 99% directed at gay men? I’ve heard “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!” But never “Adam and Eve, not Madam and Eve!”

  5. 5.

    hueyplong

    Every Limbaugh segment spent on Barry O’Bama’s societal crimes is a segment not spent on the NKVD, I mean, the Clinton Foundation, or emails.

  6. 6.

    ? Martin

    Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city, there’s a big undeground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can’t build on it; you can’t grow anything in it. The government says it’s due to poor farming. But I know what’s really going on, Stuart. I know it’s the queers. They’re in it with the aliens. They’re building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God.

  10. 10.

    Roger Moore

    @amorphous:

    Serious question: Does the far right really give a shit about lesbians?

    Yes, they do. I don’t think they’re quite as squicky about them as they are about gays, but their ideas about gender roles are as threatened by lesbians as they are by gays. Plus, lesbians can easily have kids without needing to adopt, so they’re the core group threatening to raise kids in LGBTQ families.

  11. 11.

    KG

    @amorphous: They explain it away as good-gay and bad-gay… Angelina Jolie making out with Elizabeth Mitchell is “good-gay”, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal kissing, very much “bad-gay”.

  12. 12.

    scav

    Based on about half of my experience, there’ll still be a lot of line dancing though. But with much better mixed drinks.

  13. 13.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    John, you really haven’t thought this through. Think about how much trouble you’ll have getting your Subaru out of the lesbian farmer’s field the next time it gets stuck there. And how will you replace it?

  18. 18.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @amorphous:

    Serious question: Does the far right really give a shit about lesbians?

    Yes. They believe that lesbians hate men and are out to crush all men under the heel of matriarchy. It does not get the same screeching public passion that their homophobia does, and usually is used more as ‘insult for women I don’t like.’ If lesbians remain submissive, out of sight, and in their proper role of appearing in pornography for the pleasure of men, conservatives would be happy to forget about them.

  23. 23.

    cokane

    @amorphous: oddly some countries that banned “sodomy” i.e. homosexual acts, sometimes only had penalties for male-male acts and female-female was legal. This was the case in Belize, for example, until very recently. Priniciples

  24. 24.

    Enhanced Voting Techinques

    I can see how a man like Rush who choses to decorate his house in Louis XIV would object to women being involved in the community he identifies with.

  30. 30.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @cokane: The story is that Queen Victoria did not believe that female on female homosexuality existed, would not hear of it, so only male on male homosexuality was banned in the British Empire.

  31. 31.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    They’re hell on wheels in a bar fight. Make damn sure you’re on their side.

    I actually read that Limbaugh transcript as I couldn’t believe the headline, but yeah, he’s puttin’ it out there. The lesbos are coming for your farms, America, to kill Jesus. And it struck me how normalized we’ve become to the insane bleatings of the right. Twenty years ago, anyone spewing anything that deranged in public would have been arrested for being intoxicated in public or held for a 72-hour psychiatric hold. Seriously.

    The fucker has his own radio show. America, left and right, you let this happen.

  33. 33.

    Punchy

    Do gay women farmers grow and harvest les-beans? Are they going to set up shop in FL, perhaps Kissimmee? Will they have corny parties, that….combine…stalking, plaid outfits, overalls, and…wheat for it….John Derriere tractors?

  38. 38.

    Droppy

    After they take over rural America, can they come and take over my city? The non-lesbian overlords have really not worked out too well.

  41. 41.

    jl

    Cole is an expert on Subarus, both on the road and in the field.
    Why isn’t he out counting them? Tidal wave of lesbians riding high in Subaru wagons through the hills and hollers will be an early warning sign of the invasion.
    We’ll know when to take cover.

  44. 44.

    geg6

    This is the funniest shit out the of the fever swamps in a long time. Where does this shit even come from?

  48. 48.

    Pogonip

    Another possible pro, assuming lesbians have good taste in radio programming: less Limbaugh on rural airwaves. That must be annoying, not finding anything on the radio besides a bellowing lunatic when all you want to do is harvest your lesbeans in peace.

  49. 49.

    bystander

    @p.a.: I was going to name rising prices for flannel and overalls as a Con but that’s more than compensated for with better potluck suppers.

  50. 50.

    danielx

    Probably better farm-to-table restaurants, too. And instead of cable stations that show Deliverance 24/7, there will be radio stations that play nothing but k.d. lang.

    Also too, there are fucking tornadoes popping up all over the place.

  53. 53.

    1,000 Flouncing Lurkers (was fidelioscabinet)

    John, you forgot #10: The county farmers’ co-op will be better managed, and you’ll be able to get someone there to answer the phone.

  55. 55.

    catclub

    @CONGRATULATIONS!:

    I actually read that Limbaugh transcript as I couldn’t believe the headline, but yeah, he’s puttin’ it out there. The lesbos are coming for your farms, America, to kill Jesus.

    I suspect that lesbian couples have been in the country for years, hiding in plain sight. Limbaugh would not know because he probably never visits that part of the country.

    The outrage is that the Dept of Agriculture is actually admitting it.

  56. 56.

    Trollhattan

    @danielx: I can go one better: local moron opened “Dittos Cafe” that had daily Limbaugh listening parties. These people are very tribal and do other things together, frequently involving golf clubs.

  57. 57.

    Felonius Monk

    @amorphous:

    Serious question: Does the far right really give a shit about lesbians?

    Of course they do. They really go for that girl on girl p()rno. At least the old white guys do.

  60. 60.

    Dog Dawg Damn

    Getting lots of Donald J Trump ads on BJ. Had to click through and then leave a message with the campaign. They really do deserve congrats. This level of ineptitude is difficult to pull off ;-)

  62. 62.

    Villago Delenda Est

    “Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types,” explains Limbaugh.

    One of the most pernicious of the many myths of America is the utter bullshit that is the “rugged individual”. The conquest of the West was definitely a group effort, and could not have succeeded without being a group effort. The US Army dealing with the natives, the land grants to the railroads, etc “Rugged individuals”, backed up by communal power.

  66. 66.

    Major Major Major Major

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Major Major’s father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a longlimbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down. His specialty was alfalfa, and he made a good thing out of not growing any. The government paid him well for every bushel of alfalfa he did not grow. The more alfalfa he did not grow, the more money the government gave him, and he spent every penny he didn’t earn on new land to increase the amount of alfalfa he did not produce. Major Major’s father worked without rest at not growing alfalfa. On long winter evenings he remained indoors and did not mend harness, and he sprang out of bed at the crack of noon every day just to make certain that the chores would not be done. He invested in land wisely and soon was not growing more alfalfa than any other man in the county. Neighbors sought him out for advice on all subjects, for he had made much money and was therefore wise. “As ye sow, so shall ye reap,” he counseled one and all, and everyone said, “Amen.”

  68. 68.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    Durnit, I have terrible hay fever and won’t be able to get in on this! So unfair!

    Why can’t we take over some profession that gets to work indoors? Like, say, Wall Street?

  69. 69.

    Brachiator

    Oh, Lordy, Limbaugh: Can’t you just imagine a strong lesbian farmer out in the fields in the midday sun. She leaps astride her tractor, her strong thighs snugly on either side of the seat, her muscular arms shifting the gears on the mighty rig as she rips loose and plows through the fields.

    Then at the end of the day, with her field hand Clementine giving her a vigorous back rub, she opens the mail, especially the farm subsidy check sent to her by the president.

    “Thanks, Obama!”

  70. 70.

    Ninedragonspot

    Willa Cather says hello.

    I think some folks in Red Cloud are still sheepish about that one.

  73. 73.

    Shell

    Does the far right really give a shit about lesbians? I

    I thought straight guys liked girl-on-girl action.

    But sheeeessssh. Just when you thought you’d heard the story that finally has you banging your head on the screen, along comes its topper.

  74. 74.

    bluefish

    @Villago Delenda Est: Indeed. My husband is from the Central Valley of California. He makes your point all the time. As did his mother who lived outside the Hanford area all of her life. She was a staunch Dem in a sea of others. Never forgot what FDR did for the region. I took them both at their word.

  76. 76.

    Brachiator

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    The conquest of the West was definitely a group effort, and could not have succeeded without being a group effort.

    That’s not true! That’s not true! It was a bunch of sweaty mens, with six guns and such. Taming each other, uh, I mean the wild west.

  79. 79.

    Mike R

    An old joke about how does a farmer double his income? Puts up another mail box. A farmer had his hand amputated while working with an auger in a grain bin. Local paramedics couldn’t find the hand and were worrying what to do when a neighbor happened by with a solution. The neighbor waved a subsidy check over the grain and the hand came up reaching for the check. This is what passes for humor here in corn country.

  82. 82.

    Redshift

    @Major Major Major Major:

    we get right-wing ads here all the time. It’s quite strange. I wonder if Cole is on a list because he was a warblogger many moons ago.

    Nah, it’s all keyword based, according to the content. We talk about wingnuts a lot, so we get a lot of ads for people who are interested in that stuff. The algorithms aren’t smart enough to tell if you’re for it or against it.

  83. 83.

    SFAW

    @Tara the Antisocial Social Worker:

    Why can’t we take over some profession that gets to work indoors? Like, say, Wall Street?

    But then you’d have to change your nym from “Antisocial” to “Sociopathic,” and THEN where would you be? Other than “On Wall Street,” that is.

  85. 85.

    PhoenixRising

    11. The Steak N Shake in Effingham, IL will no longer ask every same-sex couple whether we need separate checks.

    And that there is worth any amount of enraged whining from the nutbags of right wing radio.

    Also, Cole, #3 is very…90s. (If expelling a baby via the body part in question doesn’t make a girl straight, there’s really nothing anyone can put in there that would. The whole gestation thing is not my kink, but about 200K lesbians have done it so it can’t be all bad.)

  88. 88.

    Redshift

    @MattF: Leviticus condemns a man who lies with another man, but not a woman who lies with another woman. Lesbians are incapable of committing lots of the Old Testament sins. I can’t remember if it was Stephanie Miller or John Fugelsang who declared them to be God’s chosen people on that basis.

  90. 90.

    The Pale Scot

    @? Martin:

    They’re building landing strips for gay Martians,

    Late last night I was driving between the Fl coasts and the only radio I could get was Coast to Coast. The subject they were discussing was whether or not Drumph was a reptilian from the planet Draco using technology to disguise himself. Draconians are reputed to be very ornery and hateful and dismissive of other species, ETs and terrestrial.

    I gotta say they made a persuasive case

  93. 93.

    danielx

    @The Pale Scot:

    The subject they were discussing was whether or not Drumph was a reptilian from the planet Draco using technology to disguise himself.

    Sooner or later someone is going to get pics of the creature swallowing a live rat whole.

  94. 94.

    Trollhattan

    O/T British understatement, in action.

    A spokesman said: “The flight went really well and the only issue was when it landed.”

    In my book, the takeoff and landing are essentially the ONLY things that matter–the flying bits in between are easy peasy.

    The world’s longest aircraft – the Airlander 10 – has been damaged after nosediving on landing during its second test flight. The 302ft (92m) long aircraft – which is part plane and part airship – was damaged during the flight from Cardington Airfield in Bedfordshire.

    The £25m craft sustained damage to its cockpit when it hit the ground at about 11:00 BST. HAV, the developer, said all the crew were “safe and well”.

  95. 95.

    Momentary

    I live in the most rural farm heavy part of Wales, and it is absolutely full of lesbians.

  98. 98.

    PhoenixRising

    @Redshift: Nope. The ‘chosen people’ joke dates to the mid-1980s, when AIDS was a curse. If G-d is punishing the homosexuals he’s being selective about it.

    (If it’s not obvious: It would require a great deal of effort, some unusual proclivities and 2 or more extremely athletic participants to transmit HIV between/among lesbians, so the virus theory is more likely the correct explanation for why we were spared.)

  99. 99.

    Roger Moore

    @Major Major Major Major:
    Yeah, but Trump apparently doesn’t have the sharpest digital team in the world. They don’t seem to be making any attempt to distinguish between persuadable and non-persuadable political junkies. If Trump is going to pay to keep the blog operating, I’m willing to give him a pass on that one.

  101. 101.

    jl

    @Trollhattan: That was a pretty boring disaster. Airship disasters used to be a lot more exciting.
    Why? I bet Rush knows: Nobama big government lesbians taking the fun out of everything!

  102. 102.

    Matt McIrvin

    @PhoenixRising: Several years ago I remember an online friend of mine, who had joined some kind of ultraconservative religious sect, passing around a paper endorsed by the Family Research Council that, he said excitedly, blew apart the claims that lesbians were less prone to HIV and STDs than straight people.

    I read it and it was just manifestly stupid on its face: the claimed mechanism was that lesbians have more sex with men than straight women do, because the “lesbian lifestyle” was all about drug-fueled omnisexual orgies. All I could say was that all the lesbians I knew would have to be really, really atypical for any of that to make sense.

  103. 103.

    Brachiator

    @scav:

    That’s how you can tell Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is totally Hollywood, nuthin’ to do with reality. No real men went about in pairs.

    Butch and Sundance. Totally gay names.

  104. 104.

    PhoenixRising

    @Matt McIrvin:

    “lesbian lifestyle” was all about drug-fueled omnisexual orgies.

    That’s where we’re going in the Subaru wagons with our rescue herding dogs: A federally-controlled campground. I’m not allowed to tell you the rest or I lose my right to a toaster for every straight woman I convert.

  105. 105.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Matt McIrvin:
    I read one of the Marquis DeSade’s books, once. I remember three things: Nausea, an obsession with erotic asphyxiation, and the bizarre claim that nobody likes anal sex more than lesbians, because it makes them more like men.

  106. 106.

    Tara the Antisocial Social Worker

    @SFAW:
    Sure, but I’d be able to afford as many noms de keyboard as I wanted.

    If my computer was an Apple, would that make it a nom de pomme?

  108. 108.

    Schlemazel

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    If I may, I would like to quote the great “Jesus’ General”, “Ladies cannot be homosexuals because they do not have little soldiers to put in each others mouth.”

    Gosh I miss his blog, I hope he is doing OK

  111. 111.

    Bruce Webb

    JC Christian aka Jesus’ General is back on Twitter. Tweeting and retweeting as of an hour ago.

    Blog still down since 2014

  112. 112.

    Calming Influence

    In the ‘Cons” column, you forgot “Genetically modified corn brimming with estrogen”, but I suppose there’s also an argument to be made for putting it in the “Pros” column, so maybe it’s a wash…

  114. 114.

    jl

    @rikyrah: I wonder whether Brian Williams, who apparently has been let loose on America’s news-ways again though I never see him, still listens to Rush, so he can keep up with what ‘real Americans’ think.

  115. 115.

    Lizzy L

    Y’all ever been to the San Francisco Pride Parade? Dykes on Bikes rule. The motorcycle mechanics in self-reliant rugged Rural America are about to get very busy — and rich.

    There will be coffee. Good coffee.

    And your town will soon have a PetSmart.

  117. 117.

    hovercraft

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    I think this also has to do with men not being offended by the thought of two girls having sex, and being weirded out by two men having sex. Since men were the exclusive writers of laws back then, they enshrined their fears, paranoia and insecurities into law. The anti lesbian fear has become more of an issue for modern men who feel that lesbians living together openly threatens their position in society.

  121. 121.

    Schlemazel

    @Bruce Webb:
    I don’t tweet but I will look him up thanks. I don’t see how he can do his oeuvre justice at 140 characters though. His best work was to torment wingnuts by being wingnuttier then thou.

  123. 123.

    Jacel

    This news brought to mind a running skit scenario of the Duck’s Breath Mystery Theater involving the Transvestite Farmers Association. This bit didn’t translate to greater exposure outside their shows, unlike the Ask Dr. Science and Ian Scholes routines.

  124. 124.

    Brachiator

    @hovercraft:

    Since men were the exclusive writers of laws back then, they enshrined their fears, paranoia and insecurities into law.

    Also, their fantasies.

  125. 125.

    Jeffro

    This whole thread has been outstanding…I’m just not sure which parts to relay to RW friends and relatives

    Do you think even they know that “the lesbian farmer menace” has to be a bad joke?

  127. 127.

    Bruce Webb

    @Davebo: That’s a pinned tweet. There are some six tweets (and counting) from the last hour. Scroll down one spot.

  132. 132.

    hovercraft

    @Brachiator:
    They are not gay though, they just happen to think about people asking them to bend over a lot, and about people shoving things down their throats.

  133. 133.

    hovercraft

    @amk:
    He never recovered from his attack on Sandra Fluke. Poor guy.
    Actually not poor, but for him to lose so many of the big stations in the largest markets is humiliating.
    SAD !!

  134. 134.

    Honus

    @jl: here’s how messed up I am. When I saw that picture I thought “nice. That thing has a Honda engine”. But then I drive a Subaru. The only 2wd one, the BRZ.

  135. 135.

    Pogonip

    I want to rant about newspapers. Specifically, non-delivery of same. This has been a problem ever since papers gave up on kids and went to adult “independent contractors” for delivery. I suspect what’s happening is the adult is delivering papers as one of her three or four jobs and if she runs out of time in the a.m., I don’t get my paper. I don’t blame her but I want Cox Publishing sentenced to stoop labor harvesting lesbeans while Rush Limbaugh’s hectoring voice is blasted over the field.

  137. 137.

    Pogonip

    @hovercraft: the last time I went through Columbus, Ohio, he was still on WTVN-AM. I was surprised at his deterioration. He sounded as if his mind was pretty much gone. I suppose the same can be said of the station. Ever since Fox bought it about 15 years ago the station’s been on a downhill slide. I believe Fox sold it a while back. Didn’t help.

  140. 140.

    Truegster

    For my Texas anti-Hillary coworkers, I have a new quick argument to end their b.s. –

    “Name 6 Secretaries of State, and pick your favorite one out of them” – they usually can only name Hillary, Kerry, Powell and Rice and they usually guess Kissinger. Almost no one can name six Secretaries of State.
    So Hillary and Kerry are the top two out of those six, performance wise. Let a fool try and argue that Rice And Powell weren’t accomplices to an unjust war…or didn’t have more foreign posts attacked. Neither had great record keeping skills either. At the end of the argument I usually add some smartass comment about Cyrus Vance or William Jennings Bryan.

  141. 141.

    Schlemazel

    @amk:
    He has been on a downhill slide for years. Partly his shtick is getting old, partly even morans were offended by his attack on mj fox an fluckand some credit has to go to boy blunder and his super friends who pretty much showed the lie that is Rush. The campaign run against his advertisers helped some but he was already weakened

  142. 142.

    rikyrah

    WGN America Developing ‘Black Wall Street’ From ‘Underground’ EPs & Tika Sumpter

    EXCLUSIVE: With Season 2 of Underground about to go into production, WGN America and Get Lifted Film Co. are deepening their relationship on American hidden history with another series. The company run by John Legend, Mike Jackson and Ty Stiklorious has inked a deal for early development on Black Wall Street, I’ve learned. Added to the mix is Get Lifted alum and Obamas first-date pic Southside with You actress-producer Tika Sumpter as an exec producer.

    With additional time to get the deal in place for the WME-repped The Haves and the Have Nots star Sumpter in place, the overall agreement about the project focusing on what became one of the largest mass killings of African-Americans in the nation’s history came together pretty quickly, I’ve heard.

  143. 143.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Truegster: If they’re good Republicans they ought to be able to name George Shultz. Hell, I’m a liberal Democrat and I think he wasn’t stupid. Al Haig was a horror but he didn’t last very long.

    Oh, and geez, James Baker was at State under GHWB. Another relatively sane Republican. I had to look that up, though (he had a bunch of different important positions).

  144. 144.

    rikyrah

    A Timeline of Leslie Jones’s Horrific Online Abuse
    August 24, 2016
    3:44 p.m.

    Today in awful news, Leslie Jones’s personal website has been taken down after being targeted by a vicious hack. Hackers infiltrated the site with what appeared to be naked photos of the comedian, as well as images of her passport and driver’s license, private photos of her with various celebrities, and a photo of dead gorilla (and meme that refuses to die) Harambe.

  145. 145.

    Enhanced Voting Techinques

    So that’s out fate in the Obamaficated America; languishing under the perfumed high heel of the Lesbian overlord that rest oppressively, if ever so daintily, on our necks.

    And the down side to this is?

  146. 146.

    rikyrah

    Roger Simon ✔ @politicoroger
    Trump: “We will make America proud again. You won’t be embarrassed like you are now.”
    2:07 PM – 24 Aug 2016

  147. 147.

    daves09

    @cokane: When the British criminalized homosexual acts in the 1880s it covered both male and female acts. Queen Victoria struck out the female penalties because she refused to believe such things happened,

  149. 149.

    RedDirtGirl

    PA Balloon Juice working meet-up this Saturday, anyone?
    I am going to go register voters for my corporate shill of a candidate.
    Anyone want to do a last minute BJ meet-up/voter drive in PA this Saturday?
    I’ll be leaving from Brooklyn.

  151. 151.

    jl

    @daves09:

    ” Queen Victoria struck out the female penalties because she refused to believe such things happened, ”

    Oh, yeah…. shuuuurrr she did. Nice try Vicky, if that’s what they called you down at the club…

  152. 152.

    rikyrah

    hat tip- POU

    WHEN BARACK MET MICHELLE
    by Chaz Ebert

    …A bigger reason for writing about this movie is the hope that it can put the viewer in touch with the tender points in their hearts. I get soul-sick reading daily stories and seeing visuals about gun violence in Chicago. Being fed a steady barrage of this can turn your heart to stone. I don’t want the children of Chicago or our nation to think this violence is the norm. I don’t want them to walk around in fear of going out to play, fear of walking to school, fear of each other. I am so grateful that Richard Tanne presented the other side of Chicago, especially the southside, with cultural activities and peaceful neighbors, and the daily activities of life that have nothing to do with guns or violence. I want children to see something on the screen to give them hope that just maybe if a man can go from being a community organizer in Chicago to occupying the White House, there is a chance for them.

    I also want them to see the graceful Michelle Robinson talking about making a difference in the world because of the work ethic taught to her by her father who toiled every day for the city despite the challenges of his Multiple Sclerosis. It is said that if you can see it, you can be it. I want the young people to find the softness in their hearts, especially Chicagoans. Is it too much to ask that “Southside With You” becomes more than an entertainment, but also a vehicle of hope?

    There is another reason I wanted to moderate the panel—the year of their first date was the year that I also met the future president for the first time. But it is also the year I met my future husband, Roger Ebert. I joked that although I met the President before I met my husband, Michelle had him first. And it is only a joke, because we both ended up with exactly the right man for us, and we both married those men the same year: 1992.

    In 1989, I was still practicing law and I went to the law firm of Sidley & Austin to take a deposition. When I arrived, I was told that the lawyer who was to produce her client for deposition wasn’t in, but had arranged for someone else to speak with me. I was standing there angry, arms crossed, waiting for an explanation. Why didn’t someone call to alert me that the deposition was postponed? I was standing in the hallway outside of the conference room when I noticed several lawyers rushing to stand by my side. But they were looking down the hallway and murmuring in tones of admiration, “Here he comes. Here he comes!” This piqued my interest, whose presence were they heralding? Why were they being so adulatory?

    My eyes followed theirs and I spied a tall slim figure walking smoothly toward us. In my memory, he seemed to be gliding as if he was being pulled along on a dolly like one of the characters in a Spike Lee movie. That’s just how smooth he was. He stopped in front of me, beamed a blindingly bright smile and stuck out his hand, “Hi, I’m Barack Obama..” I was immediately struck by his good looks and charm. He conveyed the lawyer’s apologies and offered to reschedule the deposition for the next week. At the time I was a bachelorette, divorced. “Hmm…,” I thought, “I wonder if he is single.” But I merely returned the handshake and thanked him for telling me. After all, I was a professional litigator and so all he saw was my poker face. …

  154. 154.

    Zinsky

    The longer I live, the more I realize that conservatives are namby-pamby, bed-wetting, scaredy cats who are afraid of their own fucking shadows. Fuck them! They need to grow the fuck up and quit being so goddamn afraid of everything!

  155. 155.

    JR in WV

    @Momentary:

    Wife has welsh in her background, and has always wanted to visit the Ould Country. Should I worry>?

    Only been married 45 years, could it be? Naw!

  156. 156.

    JGabriel

    John Cole @ Top:

    9. instead of Fox news, all public televisions will be tuned to Ellen reruns or the Ovation network.

    Am I the only one here who first read that as the Ovulation network?

  159. 159.

    PhoenixRising

    @The Lodger: I would almost give in to the 15 year long request for an alpaca farm if we got that as our title.

    Agrinatrixes, however, also could be a disease you get a shot & 2 weeks of pills for…transmitted at the grey water dump at campgrounds at national parks.

    So either way, lesbian farmers drilling for the essential fluids of our rural areas…will win out.

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