Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Come on, man.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

I was promised a recession.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Press Secretary Josh Earnest FTW

Press Secretary Josh Earnest FTW

by | 101 Comments

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Behold, a real-life WH press secretary worthy of fictional counterpart CJ Cregg:

In case you can’t watch, a reporter asked our hero about Trump’s ridiculous call for Hillary Clinton to take a drug test prior to the next debate because she was all “pumped up” during the last (presumably, “pumped up” being a euphemism for “kicked Trump’s ass”). Earnest replied:

You’re telling me that the candidate who snorted his way through the first two debates is accusing the other candidate of taking drugs? That’s a curious development in the campaign.

Boom. He clarified in the follow up that he was just kidding. But it seems the NFLTG virus is spreading…

Reader Interactions

101Comments

  1. 1.

    trollhattan

    He should be more serious. As in seriously funny. The WH press corps has earned it and deserves every bit of grief coming their way. Boy oh boy, bet they can’t wait for Trump’s press secretary Mike Tyson.

  6. 6.

    hueyplong

    Difficult to discern what an inveterate rat-fker like Stone is signalling, other than to say the communication isn’t directed at us. Could be nothing more than making sure Trump doesn’t stiff him.

    Would love to learn that Stone didn’t get his money up front.

  7. 7.

    Hildebrand

    Our go-to show for family viewing time is West Wing – my 14 yr old daughter loves the show because it reminds her of ‘her’ President. She has been sighing a lot lately, wistfully saying how much she is going to miss President Obama.

  8. 8.

    Xenos

    @germy: since when has there been daylight between Trump and Stone?

    OI wonder if anyone has even checked whether the NDAS are really enforceable.

  12. 12.

    germy

    Police chiefs group apologizes for ‘historical mistreatment’ of minorities

    The president of America’s largest police organization issued a formal apology to the nation’s minority population “for the actions of the past and the role that our profession has played in society’s historical mistreatment of communities of color.”

    WaPo

  17. 17.

    patrick II

    First, Donald Trump brings up the possibility of his opponent taking drugs, second a reporter, spurred by Trumps accusation, asks a question about the drug tests, and third Josh Earnest responds in kind. The reporters need their spelling salts after the third response by Josh and not the first two by Trump and the reporter? Really, wtf.

  18. 18.

    catclub

    @Xenos:

    since when has there been daylight between Trump and Stone?

    There are quotes about Stone and Trump ‘planning’ (maybe envisioning or hoping for ) this for 35 years.
    There was a Politico roundtable of Trump biographers that mentioned that.

  21. 21.

    gvg

    @Ivan Ivanovich Renko:

    Didn’t these fuckers just endorse Donald Fucking Trump?

    there are more than one police organization. I think the Trump endorsers are Unions and this is just Police Chiefs. I have actually wondered how representative those Unions are-how many members compared to all the cops in America, how the leadership is selected and who decides the endorsement, etc.

  22. 22.

    Eric U.

    @patrick II: I think I would have turned it around on the first questioner and asked if he thought it was OK for Trump to make such a suggestion. I don’t see why the administration has to pretend that it’s appropriate.

  25. 25.

    D58826

    Only somewhat off topic. Who fired bombed the GOP headquarters? Lots of speculation and of course ‘old little hands’ tweeting. Bujt there are a string of comments on Twitter that raise the prospect that it was an inside job. It seems that Orange County NC is a very liberal part of the state. Lots of college students/professors/etc. According to the spokesman for the GOP there were a large number of completed absentee ballots in the building and they were all destroyed. According to the NC election law it is illegal for any one to collect absentee ba;llots except the proper election board. SO what were they doing with completed absentee ballots – hmmmm?

  27. 27.

    Elizabelle

    I watched the press conference footage by NC GOP Chair Dallas Woodhouse. What a pantswetter. Wondering if he was wearing one Depends undergarment, or two.

    People: Republicans. Nap. On. That. Couch. “Hardworking Republicans” who have been out doing hardworking campaigning stuff. In double time, too, since the office closes early on weekends.

    The “bomb” was under the couch. The chairman’s own bum has been. on. the. firebombed. couch.

    I’m still guessing an inside job, but maybe some anarchist or teenagers.

    From the Raleigh News Observer:

    Volunteer Bob Randall was there to clean up Sunday. He said he believes that the bombing was an act of political terrorism and that it would get people angry and motivated to vote Republican.

    “The idea is to intimidate us, to make us crawl back in the shadows,” he said. “But I think it’s going to backfire on them.”

    Video of Dallas “horrific violence” Woodhouse included at link. It’s 4:40 minutes of your life that you will never get back.

  28. 28.

    Weaselone

    My opinion in no particular order.
    1. Idiot liberal, not necessarily supporting Clinton.
    2. Anarchist.
    3. Trump supporter upset with GOP. Message is as much to mislead investigators as it is to tar Clinton supporters.

  29. 29.

    germy

    @D58826:

    SO what were they doing with completed absentee ballots

    Shredding the ones that indicated a preference for HRC? That’s my suspicion because the party that complains about voter fraud is also famous for projection.

  30. 30.

    Cacti

    @D58826:

    Only somewhat off topic. Who fired bombed the GOP headquarters? Lots of speculation and of course ‘old little hands’ tweeting. Bujt there are a string of comments on Twitter that raise the prospect that it was an inside job. It seems that Orange County NC is a very liberal part of the state. Lots of college students/professors/etc. According to the spokesman for the GOP there were a large number of completed absentee ballots in the building and they were all destroyed. According to the NC election law it is illegal for any one to collect absentee ba;llots except the proper election board. SO what were they doing with completed absentee ballots – hmmmm?

    I had wondered the same thing. Saw that local GOP official claimed that completed absentee ballots were destroyed in the blaze.

    Unless it was just the ballots of the staffers, a political party collecting and storing absentee ballots is a huge no-no.

  31. 31.

    germy

    @Pest Bog Mummy, Frakensteinbeck: from the WaPo article:

    Terrence M. Cunningham, the chief of police in Wellesley, Mass., delivered his remarks at the convention in San Diego of the International Association of Chiefs of Police, whose membership comprises 18,000 police chiefs from around the world. The statement was issued on behalf of the IACP, and comes as police executives continue to grapple with tense relationships between officers and minority groups in the wake of high-profile civilian deaths in New York, South Carolina, Minnesota and elsewhere, the sometimes violent citizen protests which have ensued as well as the ambush killings of officers in Dallas and Baton Rouge.

  32. 32.

    Brachiator

    @shomi:

    Getting boring around here with nothing for the pantswetters to panic about. Of course they still find reasons to panic anyways. That’s just what they do.

    Do you do anything else, other than play Panic Button Monitor?

    Don’t bother to answer. The question is entirely rhetorical.

  33. 33.

    Eric U.

    @Cacti: I just hope they figure out who did it soon. Not going to say it wasn’t a Dem, this election has driven everybody nuts.

  34. 34.

    Gravenstone

    @Cacti: Ya know, catching these fuckers at voting fraud (illegal interception/collection of ballots) would be the cherry on top.

  35. 35.

    Peale

    @Cacti: Hmmm. What kind of ballot is filled out at early polling places? Could someone go door to door and distribute early voting ballots (say at churches) and have the congregants fill them out claiming its legal? Kind of like registering someone to vote and then throwing away the forms.

  37. 37.

    D58826

    @germy: Or they were able to get a large number of absentee ballots for folks who have not voted recently and were planning on filling them out for old little hands and Pat McCraven. Would take someone on the inside of the county board of elections.

  38. 38.

    Kay

    I don’t know why he sniffs so much but it’s really noticeable and you know if Clinton did it people would have all kinds of theories.

    I like my sister’s amateur diagnosis better- she says it’s a sign of anxiety. It’s what people who suffer from excess anxiety do when they’re in high-stress situations.

    She said this with absolute certainty – “he’s anxious- he’s having an attack”

  39. 39.

    D58826

    @Peale: Well in the NC county I live in tgey use thew same voting machines that are used on election day. So there is nothing handed out to be returned at the early voting locations..

  41. 41.

    trollhattan

    Speaking of NFTG, Amy Schumer does Florida.

    On Sunday night, about 200 people walked out of Amy Schumer’s show at the Amalie Arena in Tampa, Florida, after she called Donald Trump, among other things, an “orange, sexual-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster.”

    You go, grrrrl.

  42. 42.

    Mnemosyne

    @Ivan Ivanovich Renko:

    As others have said, this is the police chiefs’ association. I’ve heard from them before and they actually do seem interested in doing better — during the interview I heard this summer, the spokesman pooh-poohed the notion that there’s any such thing as the “Ferguson effect” that’s leading to more cop deaths. So these are the good guys who have been working directly with President Obama to try and address the problem.

  43. 43.

    D58826

    @Kay: Or, like me, he just has bad sinus’s and tends to sniffle. The live mic just picks it up and amplifies it. I despise old little hands but need a bit more evidence that he is snorting coke rather than just some sniffles.

  44. 44.

    Ben Cisco

    @D58826: This just came across the Twitter stream:

    Dana LiebelsonVerified account
    ‏@dliebelson Dana Liebelson Retweeted T. Greg Doucette
    Re: this, NC GOP spox Emily Weeks just told me: “There were sample ballots inside but no actual ballots”

    So they either lied (duh!) or copped to a felony which they’re now trying to walk back.
    I just can’t even with these people anymore.

  47. 47.

    Cacti

    @Peale:

    Hmmm. What kind of ballot is filled out at early polling places? Could someone go door to door and distribute early voting ballots (say at churches) and have the congregants fill them out claiming its legal? Kind of like registering someone to vote and then throwing away the forms.

    Not sure what the exact process is in NC, but in the places I’ve lived that heard early voting, the ballot had to come directly from the Board of Elections via US mail. Or you could show up at an early voting station (usually a recorder’s office) in your county of residence to cast an in person ballot.

  49. 49.

    MattF

    And… as for Roger Stone, I believe that when the rats start jumping overboard, the ratfuckers are contractually obligated to follow them.

  50. 50.

    Elizabelle

    Not the fetus banner!

    NY Times: Acrid Air and Dismay Linger in Firebombed GOP Office in North Carolina

    A sofa was burned down to an ugly skeleton. A big banner with a photo of a fetus was ruined, but the sentiment could still be made out: “Vote like a life depends on it.” A bumper sticker on a table read “LOCK HER UP.”

    … [Retired government employee and GOP volunteer] Ms. Poole-Kober had just finished church services Sunday in Lincoln County, where she grew up on a dairy farm when Mr. Ashley called her in the early afternoon with the news. “It wasn’t like cold chills, but it was like something came over my whole body,” she said.

    She drove two hours straight to the scene in her church clothes, and when she got here, she cried.

    She drove there in her Chevrolet, with bumpersticker:

    “DEPLORABLES Charter Member”

    Not a word in Times story about completed absentee ballots. And, boy, would it be interesting if something like that turned up.

  51. 51.

    Cacti

    @Ben Cisco:

    So they either lied (duh!) or copped to a felony which they’re now trying to walk back.
    I just can’t even with these people anymore.

    Lying or criminal activity?

    Hmmm…tough call.

  52. 52.

    D58826

    @Ben Cisco: In an honest world and an honest party, that would make sense. When I vote they hand out those big yellow sample ballots with everyone listed, right down to dog catcher.

  53. 53.

    NonyNony

    @Kay: I don’t remember who, but someone was saying that some kinds of plastic surgery (especially around the nose) can lead to all kinds of problems that would lead to sniffles.

    It would not surprise me at all to find out that Trump has had numerous mediocre-to-bad plastic surgeries in his life. Supposedly he’s at least had scalp-reduction surgery – that came out as an incidental fact around his divorce from Ivana back in the day. Who knows what other terrible surgeries he might have had – an unscrupulous “celebrity doctor” could probably bilk Trump for all kinds of ego-boosting surgeries if he set his mind to it.

  55. 55.

    germy

    @MattF:

    I believe that when the rats start jumping overboard, the ratfuckers are contractually obligated to follow them.

    The rats often clench in fear as they jump, and so the ratfuckers have no choice…

  56. 56.

    NotMax

    Hoping the ankle is improving and you’re able to take it easy. BTW, as Crackerette has departed the nest for college, is it you who has inherited the hedgehog?

  58. 58.

    NonyNony

    @Ben Cisco:

    So they either lied (duh!) or copped to a felony which they’re now trying to walk back.

    Or, following a modified version of “Trump’s razor”, they’re idiots. In that someone was told that they had “sample ballots” that had been stored there and misunderstood it as “absentee ballots” and then went off half-cocked about destroyed ballots in front of a reporter or on Twitter or whatever.

    I know attributing them with malice is well justified given recent history, but they may just be stupid.

  59. 59.

    Iowa Old Lady

    WikiLeaks says Ecuador cut off their internet

    WikiLeaks Verified account 
    ‏@wikileaks
    We can confirm Ecuador cut off Assange’s internet access Saturday, 5pm GMT, shortly after publication of Clinton’s Goldman Sachs speechs.

  60. 60.

    M. Bouffant

    @Kay: Your sister agrees w/ a professional:

    I am a speech-language pathologist, and yes, I do sometimes work on helping people coordinate breathing with speech, so I know something about this. But that is not what is going on here. And no, it is not cocaine or allergies. Donald Trump is exhibiting a classic symptom of anxiety displayed in some individuals.

    Anxiety manifests itself many different ways, but it is one of the most common distressing psychological states experienced by humans, along with depression. Trump’s anxiety sniff may even have developed to the level of a tic at this point. And this needs to be highlighted.

    He is showing this symptom because he is a deeply insecure human who is on the debate stage with the most qualified person ever to run for POTUS in recent history, and it is a woman to boot. And he has choked. Twice.

  61. 61.

    D58826

    And the latest crooked Hillary scandal, based on the released FBI notes, lasted about 30 minutes. Somebody told the FBI that he saw here take lamps from the building and he didn’t think she every returned them. Which is true, after a fashion, since they were her lamps. (sigh).

  64. 64.

    D58826

    @NonyNony:

    I know attributing them with malice is well justified given recent history, but they may just be stupid. It’s the GOP they can occupy both states simultaneously.

  65. 65.

    NonyNony

    @Iowa Old Lady: hm. That’s interesting. If true, that suggests that Assange has finally crossed a line with Ecuador. I wonder what it might be? There wasn’t anything in those speeches that seemed particularly damning.

    Maybe that’s it – maybe Ecuador has finally realized that he’s just antagonizing the most likely next President of the US for no gain at all. Intelligence folks don’t like that – if you’ve got a shot of manipulating an election then great, but if you’re just poking the bear for no benefit then you really need to stop poking the bear.

  68. 68.

    Elizabelle

    They’re canceling golf vacations. They’re returning Ivanka Trump dresses, no matter how well they fit. They’ve stopped buying Trump wines. Some companies will no longer reimburse travel expenditures from Trump properties.

    They’re even taking their business meetings out into the cold — in Central Park, out there with the squirrels and elements — rather than meet at a Trump property.

    “It kind of came down to the idea that going to Trump Tower — in a very small way, no doubt, but in some capacity — would support him,” Mr. Ullman said.

    Besides, he added, the coffee at Trump Tower was never very good. “It was a win on multiple levels,” he said.

    One gentleman even tossed out a gift from his grandmother: a Trump dress shirt, manufactured in Indonesia. (Sorry, Grams.)

    Meet The New Protesters Defying Donald Trump: His Customers. NY Times.

  70. 70.

    NotMax

    @Shell

    No time for that. He’s supposedly at it hard, boning up so he won’t need to grope for poppycock to spew on Wednesday.

    (I know, I know. Couldn’t resist one cheap shot at DT.)

  71. 71.

    Cacti

    Moscow Ed Snowden has a sad about Assange:

    No matter your opinion of @Wikileaks or Assange, censorship is never the answer.

    Well Ed, unlike you, he’s actually free to leave his hosts. ;-)

  72. 72.

    JR in WV

    @Pest Bog Mummy, Frakensteinbeck:

    In my hometown, back when public facilities were becoming integrated by law, the FOP suddenly appeared one spring. They were open to anyone, and were popular with some folks because they built a swimming pool for members only. All white Org, of course.

    So there’s some history on the Fraternal Order of Police from 1960 or so. Sounds like they haven’t changed a bit, huh… almost 60 years later, still all bigots, all the time.

  74. 74.

    Peale

    @trollhattan: You know, I have to admit that I have no idea who Amy Shumer is. I don’t watch her show. I think I have her confused with Sarah Silverman who I don’t really like. But gosh, she she’s like number two on the right’s hit list after Beyonce. The world is falling apart and the reason seems to be Amy Shumer has a TV show and people listen to Beyonce.

  76. 76.

    Elizabelle

    @NonyNony: I was thinking about Julian Assange this weekend. I was wondering about his love life. Did he take an unintentional vow of celibacy, confining himself to the Ecuadoran Embassy? Is he preying on the cleaning staff or romancing the unwary, found treading the diplomatic halls?

    What does he eat? Could the Ecuadorians serve him the same unpalatable meal, for months at a time, as a hint? Could they cut off his laundry service?

    But the internet. Aha.

  80. 80.

    JR in WV

    @Elizabelle:

    Oh, that’s a sweet story. I hope all of his businesses wind up in the tank in the very near future.

    Thanks for passing that along.

  81. 81.

    NonyNony

    @germy: Jeebus. Those are some sick allegations.

    The whole thing smells a bit weird though. The only stories about it are PRNewswire stories from last week. You’d think that someone would have picked up on it. Also the idea that a dating website would be listed with the UN seems off, but I guess honestly no less absurd than anything else in this world.

  82. 82.

    SFAW

    @shomi:

    Trump projects a lot.

    Said the #1 projector here.

    Getting boring around here with nothing for the pantswetters to panic about.

    As I said …

  83. 83.

    Peale

    @NonyNony: Yeah. I’m not actually going to jump on the “Assange the Pedophile in waiting” charge. No fan of his, but not really a fan of jumping after false charges, especially when there are lots of reasons to make them.

  84. 84.

    SFAW

    @Brachiator:

    Do you do anything else, other than play Panic Button Monitor?

    That’s only his backup ‘bot mode.. His go-to/primary is “All the FP-ers SUCK! You commenters all fucking SUCK!!”

  85. 85.

    NCSteve

    @D58826: Orange County is the home of the University of North Carolina, which owns a large part of the county. The county seat, Hillsborough, is about fifteen miles north of Chapel Hill. A small town whose primary industry is being the county seat. That’s where the Republicans had their HQ. The Democratic Party’s HQ is in Carrboro, a town that’s basically just the other side of an invisible line abutting Chapel Hill notable mainly because it has lower taxes, making it the home of a lot more student and broke junior faculty housing. The Democratic Party’s headquarters in Carrboro was vandalized the very same night.

    Chapel Hill/Carrboro is as left as NC gets (which is a lot leftier than anyone up north seems to be able to conceive), but, like all universities, it’s also infested with a CR chapter and frats and, of course, the usual number of sophomoric numbnuts who think they’re anarchists, so ratfucking suspects abound.

  86. 86.

    hovercraft

    Kellyanne is trying to say that because Trump has “read” about in person voter fraud he is warning the people what may come. She tries to bring in quid pro quo and media bias, Kristen Welker is actually behaving like a journalist, she pushes back on that story, says there’s no evidence of any of the crap she talking about. Kellyanne starts talking about the firebombed office, the e-mail and social media attacks she and her candidate are subjected to, Kristen again pushes back says that this is her candidate, the GOP nominee saying these things, not other people. Kellyanne starts in on pigs in the blanket and again supporters who she says Clinton embraced. Welker says the difference is the candidate, and then moves onto the women. Kellyanne believes her candidate and wants the media to stop talking about the women and instead talk about the economy, and energy, and gish gallop, and everyone hates DC congress has a approval rating of 14. Welker yanks her back to her candidate, Kellyanne starts reading a Hillary statement on believing victims on sexual assault.

  87. 87.

    Mnemosyne

    @NonyNony:

    The UN thing is I think tied in with the way other countries regulate the internet — for instance, the EU has much stricter privacy regulations than the US does.

    Still, there does seem to be something a little hinky with this story.

  89. 89.

    Miss Bianca

    @germy: oh, eww…that is even more vile than I had imagined when I first heard the term. The devil is in the details, indeed.

  90. 90.

    Gelfling 545

    @Cacti: I always feel a bit sorry for Snowdon. Seems to me to be an idealistic young person used by cynical associates.

  91. 91.

    Enhanced Voting Techinques

    @Peale: Why would Sweden and the Bahamas carry water for the US? Assage is being set up would only make sense if Wikileaks was outing Swedish and Bahamian officials too.

    It’s also worth noting the Russian Intelligence has been recruiting spies threw their sexual indiscretions since the Czar. Most famously with Alfred Redl. the head of Austrian- Hungarian counter intelligence whose gay lover was a Russian spy.

  93. 93.

    Keith G

    @Enhanced Voting Techinques:

    Why would Sweden and the Bahamas carry water for the US?

    I suppose there exists the possibility that there would be a way that Sweden and the Bahamas might carry water for the US without those two jurisdictions knowing that they are. Computers and networks can be used to do some truly mind bending things.

  94. 94.

    Epicurus

    Let’s be accurate now, he was “sniffing,”not “snorting.” And he has short, vulgarian fingers, not necessarily small hands. You’re welcome, and he’s (hopefully) toast.

  97. 97.

    Ruckus

    @Redshift:
    More than no one making him stay, people have been not very politely tell him to get the fuck out. Some people just can’t take a hint.

  99. 99.

    dww44

    @Eric U.: I agree. I was hoping that he would do something like that. And, I agree with an earlier commenter that the second questioner needed an infusion of humor herself. Would like to know her name and what media outlet she works for?

  100. 100.

    Bill Arnold

    @germy:

    Is Roger Stone writing a tell-all book? He says the NDA with the campaign in invalid.

    LOL. I might even acquire that (hypothetical) book, if it could be arranged that he got no money for the transaction. (For anyone curious, daily caller)

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