Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

No one could have predicted…

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Infrastructure week. at last.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

T R E 4 5 O N

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274Comments

  4. 4.

    evap

    Toblerone in Arizona? Classy!!! Pixy stix in my home state of Jawjah, seriously? Maybe it’s time to move…

  5. 5.

    hovercraft

    Trouble in Paradise?

    Donald Trump has reportedly lost a key ally in former Fox News CEO Roger Ailes, who decided that advising the GOP presidential nominee was “a waste of time,” according to a Wednesday report.

    Ailes and Trump fell out after the former Fox boss learned “that Trump couldn’t focus—surprise, surprise,” New York Magazine editor Gabriel Sherman told attendees at the Vanity Fair New Establishment Summit, according to a report by Vanity Fair. “These debate prep sessions weren’t going anywhere.”

    Vanity Fair contributing editor Sarah Ellison reportedly offered an alternate explanation from the perspective of Trump’s campaign, saying that Ailes “kept going off on tangents and talking about his war stories” instead of helping Trump prepare.

  6. 6.

    SiubhanDuinne, liberal mob enforcer bitch

    I’ve never even heard of the Georgia candy. Dixy Stix?

    ETA: Googled, and was redirected to Pixy Stix. Never heard of that, either. Sounds foul, from the description.

  9. 9.

    Waynski

    What’s Hawaii’s? $100,000 bar? Can’t tell from the picture. And Arizona…Toblerone? Really?

  11. 11.

    Jsinla

    Mad props to Illinois, Alaska, and especially Arizona. I never pulled a toblerone out of my pillowcase on Halloween.

  12. 12.

    hovercraft

    Jersey is spot on, Sour Patch Kids are the number one candy with my kids, with the tiny caveat that my 13 year old has instituted, chocolate is not candy, it’s a sweet contribution to her calcium allocation.

  13. 13.

    SiubhanDuinne, liberal mob enforcer bitch

    @Betty Cracker:

    Honestly, I am positive I’ve never seen them nor heard of them. For sartain sure I’ve never eaten them. And dumping powder down one’s throat sounds like an invitation to a horrible coughing fit, if not worse.

    I’ll just stick with my dark chocolate and red wine, TYVM.

  15. 15.

    Corner Stone

    Speaking of Halloween, I apparently posted a comment in a ghost version of this thread.
    Anyhoo,
    Candy corn? WTF?

  16. 16.

    Fair Economist

    I’m very suspicious of a claim that almost every state has a different favorite candy.

  17. 17.

    Waynski

    Also, what’s with the SS under the Hershey bar in Mississippi? Nevermind. I think that one answers itself.

  20. 20.

    Corner Stone

    @Waynski:

    Also, what’s with the SS under the Hershey bar in Mississippi?

    Who knew Trump was originally from Mississippi? They have his favorite style of…candy.

  23. 23.

    kindness

    California is LifeSavers? I figured that would be The Donald’s candy because it reminds him of his manhood. The jury is out on whether Donald thinks of the bite size or regular pack.

  24. 24.

    Josie

    For the record, I am a life-long Texan and I hate candy corn. The only candy worth having is very dark chocolate – 70% at least.

  26. 26.

    Joel

    Toblerone — classy, Arizona!

    Texas, Oregon, South Carolina, and Tennessee can fuck right off for giving away candy corn, though.
    And Lifesavers? Fuck you very much, California.

  28. 28.

    LAO

    Do I have to rethink my love of candy corn? Texas, South Carolina, Tennessee, Oregon and Wyoming — that is some strange company for this New Yorker.

  31. 31.

    catclub

    @Waynski: Hershey’s Kisses.

    Interesting that two states (Missouri and Mississippi) with double s in the name have hershey’s Kisses as favorite.

  32. 32.

    Corner Stone

    @Joel:

    And Lifesavers? Fuck you very much, California.

    IMO, if I am not getting some form of chocolate candy then I would prefer a LS over every other non-choc option listed on the map.

  33. 33.

    les

    What is wrong with you people???? Candy corn is irresistible. But Pixy Stix? Presugared dry Kool Aid? Awful.

  34. 34.

    Lee

    I live in North Texas (about 45 minutes from OK), M&Ms are the most popular around here BY FAR.

    With M&Ms being the candy in OK, I guess that sort of makes sense.

  35. 35.

    Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman)

    @Corner Stone: I’ve heard of the Waffen-SS but not the Hershey-SS.
    If I wasn’t a gentleman I could make some snark involving Trump, authoritarians, closets, and anal intercourse.
    But I won’t.

  36. 36.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    The if only [fill in the blank] voted maps on twitter have been hilarious. My favorite was the “if only people on mushrooms voted” one. LOL

  37. 37.

    jl

    @Joel:

    ” And Lifesavers? Fuck you very much, California. ”
    As a CA-ian, I don’t believe that for a second. Unless that aspect of state folkways has degraded dramatically, it just can’t be. I don’t remember ever receiving BS candy like life savers when I went trick-or-treating. And I saw the loot some people at work bought when they came back to the office from candy shopping for Halloween, No life-savers.

    But dammitall, I should have kept tabs on that very important aspect of our cultural life. My stupid know-it-all friends keep telling me that it’s not a good idea for dumpy 50-something dude to go trick-or-treating. Now my state may be falling into disgrace and I don’t even know about it.

  39. 39.

    Wapiti

    My niece (now 23-25) recently told a hilarious story of childhood: her dad looking through her halloween candy and suggesting she probably had enough candy and oh, since she had more than enough could he have the almond joys and mounds bars?

  40. 40.

    Jeff

    I actually like candy corn. I usually wait until after Halloween to buy the leftover bags at the supermarket when they are marked down to half or less.

  42. 42.

    ruemara

    The anti-cornitism is rife this year. I love candy corn. Although I’d take toblerone over all of that. In fact, any chocolate.

  43. 43.

    Betty Cracker

    I kinda like New Hampshire’s retro Tootsie Rolls choice. They do threaten to pull out my fillings, but I like them anyway!

  44. 44.

    Darrin Ziliak (formerly glocksman)

    All this talk about candy has awakened my sweet tooth.
    I think I’ll make a cup of dark chocolate & hazelnut coffee

  47. 47.

    jl

    @ruemara:

    ” The anti-cornitism is rife this year. I love candy corn. Although I’d take toblerone over all of that. In fact, any chocolate. ”

    Damn straight. It is an elegant, uniquely American take on fondant, thank you very much. The snooty foodie candy corn haters know where they can shove it. Might help them get that stick out of…

  48. 48.

    Betty Cracker

    @Wapiti: This will be our first empty nest Halloween, now that the kiddo has gone off to college. We used to pounce on our daughter’s candy haul the minute she nodded off, arguing over who gets what. Of course, we can reserve some of the candy that we give away for our personal consumption, but it won’t be the same — it will lack the astonishing variety and surprising throwbacks — Bit-O-Honey?!?! Le sigh.

  51. 51.

    scav

    @SiubhanDuinne, liberal mob enforcer bitch: As a kid? Pure sugar in a straw with a brilliantly colored tongue afterward? There are attractions. There were even giant ones at one point, plastic tubes that seemed about a yard long. Smuggling in and out of the schoolyard was a minor industry at my school — as there was only the one store in town, we’re not talking very clandestine. The little Pixie Stix seemed high risk if you had to bolt — they’d fold in a pocket or bookbag and everything would get sticky. Alas, I was never brave enough to make the run, nor had any spare cash. Probably really would have preferred the pure sugar than came in the plastic fruit, or the garbage cans anyway (esp. the little dead fish).

  52. 52.

    BruceJ

    @Yutsano: No one. I have never seen anytone handing our toblerone here in Baja Arizona. Possibly in swankier districts of Sedona or something…

  55. 55.

    Poopyman

    Remember, the map is for candy purchased, not necessarily what’s passed out for Halloween. I’m guessing that Arizonans buy up the Toblerone for themselves, then give the little shits the candy corn.

    And Nebraska’s favorite is Skittles? There’s a vaguely tasteless joke in there somewhere.

  57. 57.

    trollhattan

    @catclub:
    I see more candy corn costumes (certified: cute) than I see any of the real thing. Can believe it’s a regional thing.

  58. 58.

    Cheap Jim, formerly Cheap Jim

    I remember getting lots of smarties. Enough that I doubt the methodology of this map’s makers. This also reminds me that I should get a bunch of candy bars.

  60. 60.

    Arclite

    Heh, I live in Hawaii, and my coworker has a jar of 100K bars in a jar on her desk. In fact, she gave me one yesterday.

    You’d think Mounds would be most popular here…

  61. 61.

    Another Scott

    @SiubhanDuinne, liberal mob enforcer bitch: My recollection is that Pixy Stix were fairly coarse-grained sugar, so dust wasn’t much of an issue. One dumped them in their mouth and sucked on the granules, and didn’t inhale them.

    They were kinda like ground up Sweet-Tarts (~2″ diameter giant-pill-like hunks of flavored sugar), but they didn’t hurt your teeth (as much) since you didn’t have to try to break off a piece to eat it.

    Yum! :-p

    But while we ate a bunch of crap like that, and liked it!, kids in my day didn’t do stupid stuff like inhale cinnamon which the news was claiming was “a thing” a few years ago. :-(

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  62. 62.

    retiredeng

    No one actually eats candy corn. All of it has been in circulation and recycled yearly for decades. I swear that none is new.

  64. 64.

    Shana

    I love candy corn, and sour stuff, and cocoanut.

    I always save the leftover candy that hasn’t been given out on Halloween and bring it with me on Election Day to put out on my Dem table. Since there are elections every year in Virginia the schools are always closed the Monday and Tuesday of that week and lots of parents bring their kids with when they vote. My polling place is also a county rec center and all the high school swim teams in the vicinity use it early in the morning for swim practice. Those kids always take a bunch too.

  66. 66.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    OT, but LOL:

    Jennifer JacobsVerified account
    ‏@JenniferJJacobs
    Trump skipped his walk-through at the debate hall, per the campaign. Didn’t go. Still at his hotel. “His debate team is taking care of it.”

  67. 67.

    Pogonip

    These are the candies people are giving away, and thus, arguably, their least favorites.

    My favorite candy is an Ohio concoction, the buckeye, a ball of peanut butter mixed with confectioners’ sugar and dipped in dark chocolate. The Cheese House on Rt. 42, just outside Plain City, makes the best buckeyes. While you’re there you may as well go on into town and eat at Der Dutchman, one of the few restaurants in the area that doesn’t defile the mashed potatoes with peelings. (The peelings are garbage! You’re supposed to throw them away, compost them, or feed them to the pigs!)

  68. 68.

    germy

    Does anyone remember those weird little miniature candy bottles? You’d bite off the tip and then drink the sweet fluid within?

    Do they even make those anymore?

  73. 73.

    germy

    Tonight I will watch “The Great Pumpkin” (I haven’t seen it since it first aired; I’d love to see it in HD and on my flatscreen color TV) and then I will watch the debate. And then I will take a pill to help me sleep tonight.

  75. 75.

    scav

    @Another Scott: There were the fizzy ones too, Pop Rocks. Beyond the newspapers agitating with stories about teeth, the schoolyard legends of what would happen if you swallowed them and they exploded in your stomach.

  76. 76.

    Tim C.

    LIES! ALL LIES! I will sue whoever begat this horrific slander against Oregon! We in this state find this corn of candy beyond imagining! What trash and what offal begat this nonsense! We like Coffee and Beer on Halloween! A good Starbucks Triple hopped IPA is what all children need.

  80. 80.

    Pogonip

    @germy: Yes, there are a couple of old-fashioned candy sites that sell them.

    Candy cigarettes? Are those still around?

  83. 83.

    Corner Stone

    @Shell:

    Sour Patch Kids for Nj? No, no, no. Its Butterfinger all the way.

    Apparently Gov Christie prefers Sour Patch.

  87. 87.

    germy

    @Pogonip: Oddly enough, I remember Robert Benchley writing an essay about his childhood memories (he was born in 1889) and he mentioned the little bottle of sweet liquid candies, as if they were long gone (he wrote the essay in the 1930s).

  89. 89.

    Miss Bianca

    Milky Way for CO? I’ll take it! Particularly since we can actually see its namesake from here!

  92. 92.

    retiredeng

    @germy: @midnight had a bit about Peanuts and The Great Pumpkin last night. The takeaway was that the characters are in a constant state of depression.

  93. 93.

    JCJ

    @dogwood:

    Bit -O – Honey? Love it.

    So you are the one who likes Bit-o-Honey! I wonder how many fillings have been ripped out by that stuff.

  94. 94.

    Corner Stone

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    and I hate any chocolate and peanut/peanut butter combo

    I…I…I…
    I feel like I need to check in the mirror to see if I have a bizarro world Spock goatee. Who, allowing for allergies, could possibly not crave and enjoy the chocolate + peanut butter combo?

  95. 95.

    WaterGirl

    @germy: God, I hope not! That is one childhood candy that I can do without! It was probably sugar when we were kids, but now I bet it’s corn syrup, water, artificial flavoring and artificial color.

  96. 96.

    germy

    My yearly habit is to buy a bunch of candy that I myself have no interest in eating, so that once the trick or treaters are gone, I am not tempted.

  97. 97.

    raven

    @germy: And there were only 4 episodes! I’ve had that “the definition of Negro come from “to tote” in my head for so long but I forgot where it came from. And then there is Oarlee Dupree!

  99. 99.

    germy

    I have a distinct and vivid halloween memory: Was it 1966 or 1967? I went out trick or treating, came home with a pillowcase full of candy, stuffed myself, and then watched the Star Trek Halloween episode; the one where the cat casts a scary shadow.

  101. 101.

    WaterGirl

    @germy: There is no middle ground. You either buy what you love so you can eat the leftover candy or you buy what will not tempt you at all.

    I’m with you – buy what I won’t eat.

  102. 102.

    germy

    @raven: Pryor was too much for the network. He put on a “nude” suit (with no genitals) as a joke that he’d been de-balled by the censors.

  104. 104.

    germy

    @schrodinger’s cat: Do you remember those romantic commercials where “chocolate” and “peanut butter” meet cute and then combine? I think it was either the late ’70s or the early ’80s.

  107. 107.

    nominus

    So, enough people in West Virginia were asked for a favorite candy and named…a cookie.

    And Dear God…who the fuck picks Swedish Fish or Tootsie Rolls?

  108. 108.

    germy

    @WaterGirl: I can never predict if we’ll have visitors or not. Some years, we’re inundated with trick or treaters. Other years nobody rings our bell.

    Last year I woke up and found a giant jack o’lantern on our front porch. Some prankster robbed it from a porch somewhere on our block and deposited it with us. I knocked on some neighbors’ doors, but it didn’t belong to them. Later in the afternoon I saw a car slow down and stare at our porch. I fear it was the family who originally carved the pumpkin, thinking WE’D stolen it from them.

    It’s always something.

  114. 114.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    Thanks to some deeply sadistic and cruel coworkers, I now know that Candy Corn Oreos exist.

  115. 115.

    Redshift

    I like candy corn! And I’m glad I live in Reese’s Virginia and not across the river in that Almond Joy hellhole (even if it’s Reese’s pieces rather than the more proper pb cups.)

  117. 117.

    Brachiator

    @WaterGirl:

    Don’t forget the wax lips!

    No wax lips, but I vaguely recall other waxy treats.

    Snickers and Almond Joy were big time favs. Also Baby Ruth and O Henry bars.

    Peanut brittle?

    Candy cigarettes, very old school.

    Yeah, wax bottle, liquid goo inside. Most have gone the way of candy cigarettes

    Yes. That’s the one

    Little boxes of raisins.

  118. 118.

    p.a.

    Candy corn? Might as well eat packing peanuts. The Arizona Toblerone has to be trolling; it’s furrin, and sounds Messican. Life Savers is just weird.

  119. 119.

    Tilda Swinton's Bald Cap

    Al Giordano kicking ass:

    This election won’t just determine domestic and foreign policies. It will also set the course for cultural norms in the United States for years to come. The social consequences could be worse than those directly related to governance. “Make America Great Again” truly is code for “Get Home By Sundown.”

    This will be the last presidential election in which white Americans hold a majority (a slim one at 51 percent of the population). By 2020 that will slip under fifty percent: thus the collective freak-out that resulted in the nomination of Donald Trump for the GOP nomination, and Trump’s success at selling to part of the GOP base a level of authoritarian discourse unseen from a major party candidate in any living person’s lifetime.

    When we see or hear fifty-year-old guys in the media threatening coups d’etat or assassination attempts against a Hillary presidency, keep in mind that these dudes couldn’t win an arm-wrestling contest. Theirs are expressions of profound impotence: a lament that their whiteness and maleness does not today infuse them with the automatic privilege and power they were promised as boys.

    Such expressions – whether from some asshole on social media or a bitter relative at the family Thanksgiving table – are meant to inflame. They respond to social cues that the rest of us provide them. Guys like that figure out what words are likely to offend or traumatize others and they shout them precisely to upset. In their lives of loud desperation, the moment when they cause stress to others may be the only time anyone pays them any attention at all. It provides a fleeting illusion of the power that they thought was their birthright. Alone at twilight, many with a couple of divorces later, with kids that generally hate them, causing trauma is the only move left in their playbook to say: “I am,” and to be noticed at all.

    Donald Trump lives out their aging white male fantasy on a national and international stage. He’s a hero to these bros. It doesn’t matter to his base whether, as president, he would make their lives better or worse. We’re dealing with a passive nihilist impulse here. Trump upsets everybody else – women, people of color, religious minorities, youth – therefore he thrills his supporters.

    With every outrageous comment he is saying for the group: “We are. We exist.”

    What is really happening is that chunks of the Trump base have become demoralized. The “enthusiasm deficit” that pundits assigned to Clinton’s vote has inverted and now the specter of voter apathy haunts Republicans more than Democrats.

    Two related factors especially demoralize the Trump voters (and make it less likely some of them will vote at all): The sense that his outrageous statements-du-jour no longer shock and offend “the other people” that this sector of white folks enjoy bothering. And the regular reminders that Democrats are simply better organized when it comes to grassroots voter contact (phone calls, door knocks, GOTV) and, above all, early voting. Media images of the long lines – particularly of African-Americans – flocking to early vote polling places are devastating to the morale of the potential Trump voter.

    Booman has more

  121. 121.

    schrodinger's cat

    I like Trader Joe’s Pound Plus chocolate, the semisweet with almonds or the dark chocolate. I used to love Kitkats when I was kidlet, haven’t had one in a long time.

  122. 122.

    Monala

    Great article about Clinton voters.

    On NPR, they finally interviewed a Clinton voter: a young gay man from Miami who is voting for her because of her stances for sensible gun control, LGBT rights, and empathy for marginalized people in our society. David Greene then asked something like, “Clinton, as you know, has always been one of the most disliked people in politics. [Ignoring that this isn’t true – she was quite popular as a Senator and as SoS]. So how is it possible that you seem so excited to vote for her?”

    The young man’s answer was very good – it’s where he talked about empathy for Muslims, African-Americans, Latinos, and recognizing its importance as a gay man who has been targeted, and how he believes Clinton stands for that. But I’m just floored by Greene’s attitude that it couldn’t be possible someone could be excited to vote for Clinton

  123. 123.

    Pogonip

    Remember “The Stand,” where villainous Harold liked chocolate Paydays? Were those real? I’ve only ever seen the bald variety.

  127. 127.

    Elizabelle

    @germy: I loved those waxy soda bottles. And then I’d chew up the wax afterwards. (Briefly retained the flavor.)

    And Pixie Stix! Yum. (Remember Fruit Stripes gum? And Teaberry?)

    Snickers Bars are my faves. Even vaguely nutritious. So: Illinois and Alaska, for the win?

    Costco seemed to have the best value bags of candy you’d like to snag from a kid’s stash.

  130. 130.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I have no idea WTF is wrong with Oregon, I’m an M&Ms/SweeTarts sort of person, myself…

  132. 132.

    germy

    @Elizabelle: The teaberry shuffle! I remember those commercials. And where I grew up, down the street from us were two older twin sisters who’d appeared in a doublemint gum commercial. This must have been 1963-64…

  133. 133.

    trollhattan

    @Monala:
    These morning “meet the battleground state voter” segments have been excruciating–one more reason to long for November 9. .

  136. 136.

    jl

    @Corner Stone:

    ” I feel like I need to check in the mirror to see if I have a bizarro world Spock goatee. Who, allowing for allergies, could possibly not crave and enjoy the chocolate + peanut butter combo? ”

    Several European acquaintances and co-workers have told me that they consider the US fascination with the chocolate + peanut butter combo to be disgusting and savage. One Swiss person I remember was relatively kind and deemed it merely barbaric.

  137. 137.

    Betty Cracker

    @Tilda Swinton’s Bald Cap: I wonder where he’s getting this:

    This will be the last presidential election in which white Americans hold a majority (a slim one at 51 percent of the population).

    Maybe total population as opposed to electorate? According to Pew, the 2016 percentage of voters who are white is projected to be 69%. That’s the lowest in U.S. history but still a considerable chunk.

  138. 138.

    scav

    Jolly Ranchers — those were not welcome in the buckets, even down below apples and those snap-crackle-and-pop bars.

  139. 139.

    japa21

    Trick or treating is not like it used to be. Back when my sons were doing the whole TorT routine (30-25 years ago) they would go out with pillow cases for an hour, come home, empty them out and go out again for another 1-2 hours. Now, we either get the little kids with their parents waiting on the sidewalks or teenagers who can’t be bothered to have any kind of a costume. And lazy. The way our house is situated they have to walk one lot down from an intersection and then walk it back to continue on their way. Only about 30% of them are willing to make the effort.

  141. 141.

    Poopyman

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    I used to love Kitkats when I was kidlet, haven’t had one in a long time.

    Sadly, someone here at work filled the bowl with those minis that get handed out on Halloween, and I’ve been pounding them down all afternoon. Now I feel all blah.

  142. 142.

    johnny gentle (famous crooner)

    There’s practically a cottage industry for fake or poorly-researched graphs like this. For example, there was one recently with each state’s most-googled phrase (http://blog.estately.com/2016/05/you-wont-believe-the-questions-each-state-googles-more-than-any-other-state/). Utter bullshit.

    I’m pretty sure this is also fake, too. It clearly seems like an attempt to just throw in as many candies as possible to make for a “fun” and conversation-generating chart. There’s no way something as obscure as 100 Grand or Pixy Sticks would ever be #1 in any state. A more realistic chart would show every single state preferring M&Ms or Snickers or one of those old standards.

    Just look at what’s sold in the checkout lines of a grocery store, Wal-Mart, Target, etc.,and how prominent its placement is. Those displays generate a ton of sales, and I daresay you won’t find Toblerone, Airheads, candy corn, etc., alongside Snickers and Mikly Way.

  144. 144.

    Corner Stone

    @trollhattan: Jacob Rascone (sp) on MSNBC has been driving me freaking crazy. He has somehow found 9 Trump voters for every “meh” one HRC voter. Even the god damn taco truck driver he interviewed on the strip today said he wasn’t a Hillary backer. Your name is god damn Yasser and you’re driving a fucking taco truck in Neh vahhh da, FFS. Shut up.
    Give me a fucking break.

  145. 145.

    Fair Economist

    @retiredeng:

    @midnight had a bit about Peanuts and The Great Pumpkin last night. The takeaway was that the characters are in a constant state of depression.

    There’s a funny site called 3eanuts that makes a point of that by showing Peanuts cartoons with their last panel omitted. The last panel is the punchline so you see only the depressing setups. Surprisingly often they’re still often pretty funny in a really dark way, which says something about how good Schultz was.

  146. 146.

    Mike in NC

    There were two kinds of candy cigarettes available when I was a kid. One was basically a stick of white sugar with colored ends, and the other kind was foiled-wrapped chocolate.

  147. 147.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    @Tilda Swinton’s Bald Cap:

    You know, there’s so much delicious irony in watching the actual revolution take hold – the smashing of white supremacist patriarchy – evidenced by the first black president handing off the levers of power to the first woman president, and the utter meltdown of white males accordingly. They’re so fragile, mediocre and insecure, in that the very first challenge to that system and they almost all flip their shit. All the nice things we progressives believe in but can’t have, flows from smashing that system, so there will be more willingness to share. I’ve been blowing that horn here for months, as I’ve had to listen to all the phony baloney Bernie is the revolution bullshit from the overprivileged overentitled dudebro army who insist that their demands be prioritized over the righteous demands of the marginalized. Giordano had it right too, from the beginning – any revolution that doesn’t have women and people of color at the core of it, is a tantrum, not a revolution.

  154. 154.

    The Moar You Know

    Pixie Stix trained my entire generation to do cocaine.

    Pure sugar.
    Comes in a straw.
    Instant high.

    I don’t even know how to spell it out for you folks any clearer

  155. 155.

    Fair Economist

    @Betty Cracker:

    Maybe total population as opposed to electorate? According to Pew, the 2016 percentage of voters who are white is projected to be 69%. That’s the lowest in U.S. history but still a considerable chunk.

    I think the actual stat is this is the last time white **Christians** will be a majority. Somebody made a mistake in the citation chain.

  160. 160.

    Roger Moore

    FWIW, the claim it’s the favorite by purchase volume appears to be bunk. I looked up the original article, and it appears to be from a survey of people’s favorite Halloween candy. So this is more a list of what people in the different states want in their Halloween bags, not a representation of what they actually get.

  167. 167.

    jl

    @Betty Cracker: @Tilda Swinton’s Bald Cap:

    I won’t be subscribing to the news letter, so I guess I will never know for sure.
    But there is a lot of confusion about the categories of race versus ethnicity in the discussion of demography of the US. And seems like the very diligent and informed broadcast and cable news media have no clue about it.

    Seems like some people consider ‘Hispanic’ to be a racial category, but it indicates ethnicity. There are black, white, Asian and Native American Hispanics, and of course many mixed race Hispanics. But at least a plurality of Hispanics in the US are categorized as ‘White’. racially.

    So, if anyone is interested in that (IMHO) trivial and bogus issue at all, long after ‘non-Hispanic White’ is a minority race/ethnic demo in the US, the ‘White’ racial demo will be in a majority.

    I’m guessing different people are using different definitions of what ‘White’ means.

  169. 169.

    Brachiator

    @Betty Cracker:

    Maybe total population as opposed to electorate? According to Pew, the 2016 percentage of voters who are white is projected to be 69%. That’s the lowest in U.S. history but still a considerable chunk.

    There is also this, from PEW:

    While the U.S. electorate is growing more diverse, there’s a caveat when it comes to the impact of these changes: the relatively low voter turnout rates among Hispanics and Asians. In the 2012 presidential election, 64% of non-Hispanic white eligible voters cast ballots, as did 67% of black eligible voters. By comparison, the voter turnout rate was 48% among Hispanics and 47% among Asians.

    Although I have been reading about a lot of anger with Trump from Latino voters, reports about increased voter registration has been spotty.

  172. 172.

    hovercraft

    @Tilda Swinton’s Bald Cap: @Monala:
    Those are good articles, the beltway hates Hillary so they project. But every time I hear them talking about her e-mails and the trust deficit, or about wikileaks now, I want to reach into the TV and ask them if they know that she is leading, and that she is now at or very close to 50% in several polls. They keep asking how she’s going to fix this problem of hers, and the dumbass democrats and or liberals they bring on just stutter. The answer is that as long as the media begins every story about her with the fact that she is the least liked most distrusted nominee ever it will not just go away, what she needs to do is just get into the office and get to work. Unfortunately it will not be like it was when she was in the senate or at State, there she was not under the glare she will be in the oval office, whereas the attackers pretty much disarmed before, this time they will not and it will be relentless. Sigh :-(

  173. 173.

    jl

    @Corner Stone:

    ” Well. That’s certainly difficult to refute. Thanks. ”

    I guess they don’t call you Corner Stone for nothing. Why do you give a shit? More chocolate and peanut butter goo for you, right?

  174. 174.

    ThresherK

    Butterfingers and Whoppers do not have chocolate. They are covered in “chocolatey” something.

    (Also on that list: Baby Ruth.)

    How much better would these candies be with actual chocolate?

  178. 178.

    hedgehog the occasional commenter

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Blergh. Apparently Swedish Fish Oreos are a thing. Double blergh.
    My favorite chocolate indulgence is chocolate/peanut butter anything, or chocolate/raspberry. With what mr. h calls “eating season” there will be those weird chocolate-covered raspberry sticks on the shelves–alas, my secret vice!

  180. 180.

    jl

    @schrodinger’s cat:

    ” I am with you, if you are still undecided you are even more stupid that the Orange Clown’s posse’. ”

    I heard a political scientist on the news this morning who said his research indicated that most of the undecideds in this election are Republicans who can’t vote for Trump, but hate HRC so much, they can’t persuade themselves to vote for her instead. But they don’t want to throw away their votes. So, apparently, they respond as ‘undecideds’ to political polls and queries.

    Someone needs to dig up that great SNL sketch on undecided voters, which portrayed them as utterly clueless ignorant narcissists.

  181. 181.

    jl

    @ThresherK:

    ” How much better would these candies be with actual chocolate? ”

    The whole things, not much better. The ‘chocolatey’ parts would be better, though.

  182. 182.

    hovercraft

    @Corner Stone:
    All the pundits are now saying the race is all but over, the only ones saying he has a shot are his flacks, so they need to find “balance” somewhere, though Rascone has been finding more Trumpsters for months, not just now. Did you watch Stephanie Ruhle’s entire 20 minute interview with Kellyanne this morning? It was amazing, a couple of times Kellyanne just stopped and paused to collect herself, she even called foul when Ruhle asked her about how she faces her kids.

  183. 183.

    sigaba

    @Waynski: “$100 Grand”. I’ve never really seen them outside of Minnesota so they may be pretty regional. Basically a Hershey knockoff of a Toblerone.

    Minnesota actually has a hyper-regional confection known as a “Pearsons Chocolate-Covered Nut Roll” which is delicious.

  185. 185.

    Corner Stone

    @jl: The day I give credence to the palate and distinguishing culinary discretion of some god damn anon Yooropeean when it comes to enjoying my King Size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups with a nice cold glass of STFU Buttermilk is the day I gracefully don my baby blue helmet, grab my Agenda 21 Atheist’s Bible and start adding extra “U’s” to words that have lost all meaning.

  186. 186.

    jl

    @Corner Stone: Verily, I wish you get all the chocolate and peanut butter you wish and are able to consume.

    I like it too, once in a while.

    Edit: And being half Swiss myself, I do hope you note how kind and open minded the Swiss are over the whole unpleasantness, even though they are proud of their (properly conched, very properly, mind you, chocolate). He was from Bern.

  189. 189.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    Nothing says “I’m to cheap to buy anything good” like candy corn. It’s literally the least you can do.

  191. 191.

    Elizabelle

    @hovercraft: I wish the programmers could see how quickly channels are changed, or sets are muted, when they go into that predictable “Hillary is SO unlikeable and so untrustworthy” schtick.

    Also, did anyone else see Laura Benanti’s Melania parody on Colbert’s show last night? It was funny.

  196. 196.

    Seanly

    My post ended up on the page with the picture itself so I am reposting here to be a pain in the butt for everyone…
    I love candy corn. Much better than Florida’s Crunch bar (about the most milquetoast candy bar ever) or Vermont’s Mounds bar (those are just plain old garbage). Okay, I hate shredded coconut with the passion of 1000 burning suns so I may be a little biased against Mounds bars. Still though Crunch bars are just tasteless dreck.
    My brother & I still call John Elway “Nestle Crunch bar eating muthaf**ker” after his min-90’s ad campaign for that turd of a candy bar. Yeah, we played a lot of Madden NFL back then and seemed to end up against him a lot…
    EDIT: While I like candy corn, I would never be so cheap as to hand that out at Halloween. Since we have dogs who go nuts at people just walking down the street, we don’t give out Halloween candy anyway though…

  198. 198.

    jl

    @scav: I remember first time I was in Stockholm, trying some of their ‘candy’ that was so outlandish tasting, that I spit it out of the floor of a candy store, to much laughter.

    I didn’t mean to do that.

    “Well, that just shows you just don’t know what good candy is. Best candy in the world”.

    Swedes I’ve known pack that stuff when they travel, They say they have to because they can’t get it anyplace else. I’ve told them that sad fact should give them a clue about the true nature what they shove down their gullets, for fun.

    Edit: I was in an olde tymey Swedish candy store, so they gave me some white paper wrapped in a cone for the candy. I had a real hard time finding edible things to fill that stupid cup.

  201. 201.

    Corner Stone

    @hovercraft: I can’t watch anything where Kellyanne is speaking. It horrifies me. First because every single media person praised the hire of her by Trump and repeatedly called her so professional and such a brilliant political expert. And then after because she repeatedly showed how horrible a human being she really was, and would sell her soul for just a little more money.
    She’s a not very bright political operative who finally found the level of political candidate her skills were matched to. She and Trump deserve each other and I hope I never hear her name again after NOV.

  202. 202.

    JR in WV

    @Corner Stone:

    HATE that combination. I like peanuts (esp roasted in shell) and I love chocolate, esp bitter dark with raspberry. But together? terrible… Also not crazy about PB and J on a sandwich.

    ETA Also like tart candy, like skittles, or starburst, especially the tropical flavors.

  203. 203.

    low-tech cyclist

    Yay Montana! The Dental Floss State came through with my favorite mass-market candy, KitKat bars. Chocolate with crunch!

    And of course, you might need some dental floss after Halloween’s over.

  205. 205.

    jl

    @Corner Stone:

    I hope McMullin does win UT. That would be great.

    McMullin said in an interview that the Republican Party’s biggest problem was racism.

    Edit: and I think Utah is the salt water taffy capital of the US. Why isn’t that the favorite candy? I was told in one of those salt water taffy emporiums that titanic factories in Utah make most of it, in humongous vats, and ginormous taffy stretchers.

  207. 207.

    scav

    @jl: Well, a lot of people feel that way about American (mainstream) chocolate. I’ll pack my bags with the Swedes for the licorice, but flee from their coffee like the plague.

  213. 213.

    JR in WV

    @nominus:

    No, this is made from sales records, obviously including cookies as well as candy. So people in WV buy Oreos. I don’t hate them. I’m OK with candy corn, but don’t need much to be replete.

    Dark chocolate and Red Wine, sounds nice!

    ETA: What the H is a Swedish Fish candy? Lox with sugar? Lutefisk caramel? now I’m reaching…

  216. 216.

    WaterGirl

    @germy: Same here, either a million kids and I don’t have enough candy or a bunch of candy and nobody comes. Last year I was grateful that there was a volleyball match scheduled on halloween so I had a good reason not to be home.

    As for the carved pumpkin, if it happens again, make a big sign: This pumpkin showed up on my porch – Is this yours? :-)

  217. 217.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @Waynski:

    Also, what’s with the SS under the Hershey bar in Mississippi? Nevermind. I think that one answers itself.

    On the off chance that was a serious question: it’s Hershey’s Kisses – you’re seeing the middle “ss” of “Kisses” in that image.

  219. 219.

    Calouste

    @scav: I’m acquainted with a number of Brits living in the US (and keep in mind, these are people that think that Cadbury’s is good chocolate), and there almost to a person of the opinion that Heshey’s tastes like either vomit or spoiled milk.

  221. 221.

    Chyron HR

    @srv:

    That’s right, God-Emperor Trump losing a red state is a GOOD thing! It’s a very good thing he did!

  223. 223.

    jl

    @scav: I apologize if I have ugly American attitudes, except re Swedish candy. That country has something to answer for on its ‘candy’.

    And don’t I get points for suggesting that maybe, just maybe, there may be something questionable about the US obsession with chocolate and peanut butter?

    No, obviously, I do not. I grant you all one punch in the neck. Fie and fiddlesticks.

  224. 224.

    MattF

    @scav: Specifically, Hershey’s milk chocolate is very much an American taste. We’re all accustomed to it, with kisses and so forth. But outside the US, people regard it as inedible.

  226. 226.

    Poopyman

    BREAKING! MUST CREDIT TEA PARTY EXPRESS!

    Yes, I got another email from the Tea Party Grift Machine just now. Just another reminder that irony is dead:

    ANONYMOUS: Fears Grow Julian Assange Was Extradited On ‘Guantanamo Express’

    Because it was that fiendish Kenyan that created that extralegal hellhole in Southern Cuba.

    (Note: According to all news orgs, Assange is still holed up in the Ecuadoran embassy.)

  227. 227.

    scav

    @Calouste: Didn’t they just have a meltdown recently over a reformulation of whatever a Cadbury Cream Egg is? I’ve vague memories of cries of creeping multi-national corporatism and americanism being thrown about.

  229. 229.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    @WaterGirl:
    I’ve seen dark(er) chocolate KitKat in Canada – yes it’s very good.

    Also had imported matcha KitKat from the Chinese supermarket.

  230. 230.

    Miss Bianca

    @jl:

    Several European acquaintances and co-workers have told me that they consider the US fascination with the chocolate + peanut butter combo to be disgusting and savage. One Swiss person I remember was relatively kind and deemed it merely barbaric.

    Whereas, I find the European insistence that they actually *prefer* hazelnuts to peanuts to be just plain perverse. As far as I am concerned, the only use for hazelnuts is Amararetto. But chacun a son gout, and all that.

  232. 232.

    scav

    @jl: Don’t care at all if you like the candy, or your attitude about peanuts or chocolate. It was your gratuitous rudeness to the Swedes and their gullets that jars. Presumably you do see that as the unproblematic “American attitudes” that you’re unconcerned about exemplifying.

  233. 233.

    WaterGirl

    @MattF: Inside the US, many of us regard it as inedible, as well. I think I would rather chew wax than eat a disgusting, waxy hershey bar.

  237. 237.

    Miss Bianca

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne:

    All the nice things we progressives believe in but can’t have, flows from smashing that system, so there will be more willingness to share. I’ve been blowing that horn here for months, as I’ve had to listen to all the phony baloney Bernie is the revolution bullshit from the overprivileged overentitled dudebro army who insist that their demands be prioritized over the righteous demands of the marginalized. Giordano had it right too, from the beginning – any revolution that doesn’t have women and people of color at the core of it, is a tantrum, not a revolution.

    Yeah, this. I may have to swipe/paraphrase this the next time I end up in a political “discussion”. But even the most die-hard Bernie-or-busters in my cohort seem to be coming round, if veerrry grudgingly.

  239. 239.

    Miss Bianca

    @schrodinger’s cat: I used to love Nutella – lived on Nutella sandwiches for breakfast when I was backpacking in Europe in my misspent youth – and then I think I OD’d on it or something, because my attitude towards it now is complete “meh”. But maybe it’s time to try it again – it’s only been like, what, 20 years since the last time I ate it?

    @p.a.: I loved Zotz. And pixy stix, come to that.

  240. 240.

    jl

    @jl: I’ll have you know that I have spent quite a bit of time in Sweden, and have many Swedish colleagues.

    And, I tell, you, some of them, they fill a good portion of their luggage space with boxes of their weirdo candy and chewing gum and whatnot. Like they would die if they ran out of their horrible tasting salt licorice. I tell them that they can actually get salt iicorice here in the US. But they say, ‘no, it’s probably not made in Sweden’. Like unless it is made just right, it probably doesn’t taste bad enough. Not any old salt icorice is good enough for them, it has to be extra horrible tasting salt licorice made back home and rushed to the US before something bad happens to it or it spoils, and a normal person cold eat it.

    I’ve tried to help them. I’ve offered them US weirdo candy, like Chicken Stix. But no, it’s not weird enough for their tastes.

  241. 241.

    catclub

    @Poopyman: So extraditing white people to Guantanamo (illegal rendition is what they mean) is ok to do
    to Arabs and non-white people, but horrifying if done to white people.

    I see.

  242. 242.

    jl

    @scav: Oh spare me please. Numerous numerous Swedes know very well how I feel about their candy. And I am still allowed into the country. There is plenty more I love about the place and their culture to make up for my hatred for the candy.

  246. 246.

    Origuy

    No love for Pez? The factory is in Orange, CT. I stopped there last month. They have just about every Pez dispenser ever made in the visitor center.

  248. 248.

    seaboogie

    My parents are really into Halloween and turned me onto a super popular treat for the kiddos: soda pop! I’d have cases of orange and grape Crush, Root Beer and Mountain Dew (so the older kids could get a full-on buzz) and gave the kids a choice of beverage. Babes in arms got wee natural juice boxes. The kids were so stoked – the ones who had parents waiting on the road would be all “Mom, Dad – I got POP!”

  250. 250.

    GxB

    @Calouste: Butyric acid. If you’ve ever smelled it, you’ll never forget it. It is indeed in vomit and rancid butter, and it’s in Hershey’s chocolate – by design. The Europeans are not wrong.

  252. 252.

    Elizabelle

    @GxB: Butyric acid.

    The things you learn here. From wiki:

    Butyric acid is found in milk, especially goat, sheep and buffalo milk, butter, parmesan cheese, and as a product of anaerobic fermentation (including in the colon and as body odor). It is also found in milk chocolate produced by the Hershey process, or added to imitate the flavour of Hershey’s chocolate.[9] Butyric acid is present in, and is the main distinctive smell of, human vomit.[10]

    But why is it in Hershey’s? Couldn’t they change the manufacturing process to remove it? Maybe its time has come and gone ….

  256. 256.

    Elizabelle

    From a February 13, 2008 New York Times article on chocolate. I think I might have just had my last Hershey’s chocolate. (Frankly, it tastes too sweet by now anyway.)

    Dark May Be King, but Milk Chocolate Makes a Move

    Everywhere but at home, American milk chocolate — specifically Hershey’s — is known for its tangy or sour flavor, produced by the use of milk that Mr. Landuyt refers to as “acidified.” Although Hershey’s process has never been made public (and a spokeswoman declined to comment on its techniques), experts speculate that Hershey’s puts its milk through controlled lipolysis, a process by which the fatty acids in the milk begin to break down.

    This produces butyric acid, also found in Parmesan cheese and the spit-up of babies; other chocolate manufacturers now simply add butyric acid to their milk chocolates. It has a distinctive tang that Americans have grown accustomed to and now expect in chocolate. “I can’t think of any other reason why people would like it,” said Mr. Whinney, of Theo Chocolate.

    Hershey’s regular milk chocolate tops out at about 30 percent cacao. By the standards of the Food and Drug Administration, American milk chocolate can be as little as 10 percent cacao, and the agency is considering allowing manufacturers to replace cocoa butter with vegetable oil. That is already allowed in British milk chocolate, although elsewhere in the European Union such chocolate must be labeled “family milk chocolate” instead.

    Indignities like this do not help the image of milk chocolate, which deserves to be appreciated as its own beguiling blend of light and dark, sweet and bitter, chocolate and cream.

    I remember all the fuss about diluting chocolate standards back then and people emailing in comments … the PUMA wars later that year obscured all else …

  257. 257.

    Walker

    @Calouste:

    Hershey’s tastes like spoiled milk on purpose. The formula was designed to use old milk so that the bars would last longer in the store. The developer believed that he could train American palates to like it, and he was right.

  259. 259.

    Aleta

    @jl: Our Swedish colleague brings a small film canister of instant espresso powder to US meetings to add to his cups of the US coffee.

  260. 260.

    Barbara

    I think 90% of jolly ranchers in Nevada are being bought by hotels that feel obligated to have something to pass out at Halloween. There is no way jolly ranchers are anyone’s favorite candy. I feel the same way about Nerds and Twizzlers but I can’t think of any good alternative explanation. Which just confirms that Kansas and Utah really are outliers.

  264. 264.

    WaterGirl

    @JCJ: I am officially doomed. Choice of DARK and 70% DARK? Be still my beating heart.

    P.S. Can’t decide whether to thank you or curse you. :-)

  265. 265.

    Roger Moore

    @jl:

    Edit: And being half Swiss myself, I do hope you note how kind and open minded the Swiss are over the whole unpleasantness, even though they are proud of their (properly conched, very properly, mind you, chocolate).

    The Swiss can’t be too persnickety on that score, given that they’re the ones who originally debased perfectly good chocolate with milk solids.

  266. 266.

    debbie

    @Belafon:

    Here it’s called Indian corn. It always sells out early in the Halloween season (as in early September). I didn’t move fast enough this year and can’t even find it online.

  267. 267.

    debbie

    @WaterGirl:

    I have a few in my freezer as we speak.

    Hershey’s is an abomination. Absolutely inedible. On the other hand, Dove’s milk chocolate and dark chocolate are both pretty good.

  269. 269.

    WaterGirl

    @debbie: And you haven’t been sharing???? I do like Dove’s dark. Never tried their milk chocolate. Haagen Daaz has a really good Belgian chocolate ice ream right now. I think it’s one of those special flavors that are only out for a little while. Skinny little shavings of good dark chocolate in the ice cream. Yum.

  270. 270.

    Death Panel Truck

    What the fuck are Airheads? Jesus, Washington, we can do better than this! At least Idaho got it right. I’ve loved Butterfingers all my life. 5th Avenue and Clark bars are great too.

  273. 273.

    Groucho48

    Back in the late 70’s-early 90’s, there was a candy bar I really liked that was only around for a couple years. The coating was a slightly vanilla butter cream flavor. Inside was a bit crunchy, like a Kit Kat, but with a mild yet addicting cinnamon flavor to it.

    I’ve been trying to think of the name of it for a bit. Anyone familiar with it?

  274. 274.

    Priest

    The two kinds of candy cigarettes I remember were the nasty white sugar sticks and the paper wrapped bubble gum. The gum was not quite as hard as Topps (with the baseball cards), and you got a good visual effect if you puffed on them at first, some residual sugar would come out looking a little bit like smoke. Make you feel like a grown-up.

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