Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Accountability, motherfuckers.

The willow is too close to the house.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Let’s finish the job.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Not all heroes wear capes.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Everybody saw this coming.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

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127Comments

  2. 2.

    debbie

    I haven’t followed baseball in many years, but if it can’t be the Yankees — Go, Cleveland!

  8. 8.

    Cacti

    There’s no such thing as jinxes, curses, or whatever damnable excuse gets made.

    There’s winning and losing.

  9. 9.

    Elmo

    My boss is from Cleveland, and he’s been good to me. The bargaining unit that is the biggest pain in my ass is in Chicago.

    GO TRIBE!

  11. 11.

    Schlemazel

    There must be jinx, how else could anyone ever explain a .340 hitter going 0-5 or a .233 hitter going 3-4? The only possible explanation is supernatural forces blessing or cursing based on proper ritual.

  12. 12.

    Honus

    Fuck the cubs. We’re supposed to feel good for obvious assholes like Maddox and Arrieta because the Cubs have sucked for 70 years? I don’t think so.

  13. 13.

    redshirt

    @Schlemazel: I love the idea that because I wore my lucky hat or sat in my lucky seat or ate my lucky meal, I changed the outcome of an event to which logically I have no effect on whatsoever.

    Is there a word to describe this type of superstition, as opposed to the type which is like don’t walk under ladders, don’t break mirrors, when you spill salt throw some over your shoulder, etc?

  14. 14.

    Amir Khalid

    Like you, Betty Cracker, I am completely neutral on the World Series. I just wonder how America’s national championship for pro baseball teams came to be called the World Series. Is there not an international tournament for the top baseball teams from Japan, South Korea, the Caribbean, Canada, and the US?

  15. 15.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    I guess I have to root for the Cubs, they did spring train here in LA(Catalina Island) and the original Wrigley Field was here in South LA(the California Angles, a minor league team played there).

  16. 16.

    MomSense

    My mom is rooting for Cleveland but I’d kind of like to see the Cubs win. I’ll be happy for whichever team wins.

    Oldest kid moves far away in a week. He is so great and it’s really nice to see how mature he is and what a good partner he is with his girlfriend. So it’s bittersweet thinking about him leaving. Happy he’s living well but I’ll miss him. Spending as much time as we have playing music. On a whim we’ve decided to perform at an open mic this weekend.

  18. 18.

    Cacti

    @redshirt:

    Is there a word to describe this type of superstition, as opposed to the type which is like don’t walk under ladders, don’t break mirrors, when you spill salt throw some over your shoulder, etc?

    The superstitions of players can actually affect their performance in the sense that if they don’t go through their pre-game ritual, wear their enchanted jock strap, etc. it can put them off mentally.

  24. 24.

    Cacti

    @Amir Khalid:

    Is there not an international tournament for the top baseball teams from Japan, South Korea, the Caribbean, Canada, and the US?

    Sadly, no.

    I’d love it if professional baseball did something like the UEFA champions league. But the baseball season is awfully long as is, so I don’t think they ever will.

  25. 25.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    My wife saw a bumper sticker today, ‘Hang Hillary and her sheeple.’ Classy. Go Tribe.!

  27. 27.

    jl

    @Cacti:

    Can’t Canada be in the world series if the Blue Jays are good enough?

    I did a youtube search to see about other varieties of Canadian baseball, and apparently the Canada and Mexico teams put on good brawls.

    COMPLETE World Baseball Classic Brawl – CANADA VS MEXICO Mar 9 2013 Best Brawl!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAtGT-fFvr0

  30. 30.

    raven

    @Amir Khalid:

    The World Baseball Classic (WBC) is an international baseball tournament sanctioned from 2006 to 2013 by the International Baseball Federation (IBAF) and after 2013 by the World Baseball Softball Confederation (WBSC). It was proposed to the IBAF by Major League Baseball (MLB), the Major League Baseball Players Association (MLBPA), and other professional baseball leagues and their players associations around the world. It is the main baseball tournament sanctioned by the WBSC, which grants to the winner the title of “World Champion”.

  32. 32.

    p.a.

    @raven: It’s American!

    Barlett (1848) wrote, “[Tautaug] is a Native American word, and may be found in Roger Williams’ Key to the Indian Language.” The name is from the Narragansett language, originally tautauog (pl. of taut). It is also called a “black porgy” (cf. Japanese black porgy), “chub” (cf. the freshwater chub), “oyster-fish” (in North Carolina) or “blackfish” (in New York/New Jersey, New England)

  36. 36.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    That is an interesting question, I’d be interested in looking into that.

    Back in 2000 my favorite college team won the national championship & the next year fans that were at the banner raising were given a cheap metal copy of the ring. I put mine in a drawer and didn’t really think about it. 6 years ago the team was having a rough go but they made they made it into their league championship game against a team with a bit more talent. I was in my drawer & noticed the ring & thought “why not?” and put it on for the game. They won. They then won the next 3 for the national championship, it was not expected. I took to wearing the ring to every game, they won another national championship & won 62 games before having to settle for a tie. They won the championship that year too. Now I know the ring had nothing to do with it but I find I can’t go to a game without the thing now because there has to be some reason ;)

  39. 39.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    I sooo want to root for the Cubs, but I have strong family ties in Cleveland and they are diehard baseball fans so, Go Tribe! Even if it is a little un-PC.

  40. 40.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Cacti:

    There’s no such thing as jinxes, curses, or whatever damnable excuse gets made.

    Oh yeah? I watched Steve Avery lead his teammates in turning their caps into “rally caps” during the NLCS 1992, and damned if the Braves didn’t win the pennant later that week! Superstition is real! And it works!

  42. 42.

    BruceFromOhio

    @R-Jud: Commentary on local sportsball yakkity-yak has sliced and diced the pitching strategy. Francona has stated he won’t over-spool his pitching staff, and the bullpen has plenty of depth. By that strategy, starters can get pulled early, too. CHI bats tormented the LAD pitching staff with alternating hot and cold, and now Bauer was getting too erratic. Get him out before CLE gets in a hole they can’t get out of, and he can rest up for game six … if needed.

  47. 47.

    R-Jud

    @BruceFromOhio:

    Francona has stated he won’t over-spool his pitching staff, and the bullpen has plenty of depth.

    As evidenced by that strikeout McAllister chucked right after he took the mound (and the 95-mph pitches he’s slinging right now). Sensible.

    Hope it’s Cubs in five, though. Not least because all these games air at midnight or 1 a.m. where I live. :-)

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @BruceFromOhio:

    No, it does not. It does, however, make people look foolish.

    How the Grinch Stole Baseball. Jeez, man, loosen up a little, okay? It’s a fucking game. And people like to have fun with it.

  52. 52.

    Mike J

    I seem to recall a few years ago Cleveland said they were going to downplay Chief Wahoo logo and just use a red C in its place. What ever happened to that?

  53. 53.

    R-Jud

    Christ, ten pitches? Rizzo’s last at-bat lasted almost as long as this presidential campaign.

  58. 58.

    wmd

    Red Sox win was the opening of one of the seven seals. Cubs win in the World Series would mean the final seal is opened – the apocalypse would be upon us. What this means for the election is left as an exercise for the commentariat.

  62. 62.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Amir Khalid:

    I have heard (but, in fairness, I have also seen refuted) that the World Series is so named because the original sponsor was a daily newspaper, the New York World. IOW, never had anything to do with vying for a championship among all baseball teams on the planet.

    But, as I say, I’ve also heard that that story is a myth.

  68. 68.

    BruceFromOhio

    Looking up UK English colloquialisms while the opponent is at bat CAUSED THE OPPONENT TO SCORE. Clearly there is a cause & effect power at work here, and I better not do that again.

  72. 72.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Omnes Omnibus: Only if it prevents me from looking up UK English colloquialisms while the opponent is at bat, otherwise THE OPPONENT WILL SCORE.

    Collapse, utter collapse of CLE defense. FedEx me the fucking rock, stat!

    ETA: The looking up of UK English colloquialisms while the opponent is at bat is going to cause back-to-back shutouts by both teams for the first time in history, I can just FEEL IT.

    Have you posted the rock yet? I’m dying here.

  73. 73.

    R-Jud

    @BruceFromOhio: It’s clearly ME causing the scoring, not you. I’m a Chicago expat awake in the small hours, I’m wearing my lucky bucket hat, and I found some Goose Island on sale at my local Sainsbury’s.

    Further evidence: last night I went to bed at a reasonable hour and missed the game. The Cubs lost. QED.

  77. 77.

    BruceFromOhio

    @R-Jud: Oh, sure. Like that’s supposed to make me feel better. Watch this …

    Bollocks! Bobs your uncle! How’s your dad??

    ETA:… and they retire the side after allowing only 3 more runs, so maybe it’s the hat and the Goose after all. *grumbles*

  78. 78.

    Honus

    @raven: fuck you raven. It was about what you feel. I don’t give a fuck about the Cubs. Or VPI. Or your fucking bulldogs.

  79. 79.

    Jim Parene

    @p.a.: ‘Tog fishing was always my favorite time of their, on North Shore of L.I. Great eating. Catching Blackfish is definitly a skill. In NY, I could put you on fish from the T.Neck Bridge to the canyons east of Montauk. Here in Fla., I’m the rookie, learning how fish it Gulf Style. Snapper, Grouper, Spanish Macs., etc. Good times and good eating!

  82. 82.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @wmd:

    I keep telling y’all and telling y’all: you gotta read W. P. Kinsella’s short story “The Last Pennant Before Armageddon,” which can be found in his s.s. collection The Thrill of the Grass.

  92. 92.

    R-Jud

    @BruceFromOhio: As long as Arietta continues allowing no hits, I am good with that.
    ETA: And your guys bring out their fourth pitcher. Swappin’ ’em like Trump swaps campaign managers.

  94. 94.

    BruceFromOhio

    … and the bitter, acrid juice of a dumpster fire spot is rinsed clean by an advert for the upcoming Lady Gaga tour, restoring balance to this tortured existence …

  99. 99.

    Gravenstone

    @Honus: Who the fuck is Maddox? The manager is Joe Maddon. The pitcher was Greg Maddux. Fucking inbred buffoon, you are.

  100. 100.

    Gin & Tonic

    @p.a.:

    Agreed to go tautog fishing tomorrow

    Ha! It’s going to be in the upper 20’s in the morning. Enjoy.

  104. 104.

    Betty Cracker

    @SiubhanDuinne: When my mom was sick a few years back, I spent hours reading Kinsella stories to her, including “The Iowa Baseball Confederacy.” She is the reason I root for the Cubs.

  105. 105.

    raven

    Well shit, this game is going for at least another hour. The 7pm start didn’t help much, what a slow ass sport,

  108. 108.

    EriktheRed

    The CUBS are currently in the process of reminding the Indians (and their fans) that they don’t have the best record in baseball this year for nothin’.

  117. 117.

    EriktheRed

    @BruceFromOhio: I accept the challenge:

    The CUBS are currently in the process of reminding the Indians (and their fans) that they don’t have the best record in baseball this year for nothin’.

    (They’re still up by 4, after all)

  119. 119.

    BruceFromOhio

    @EriktheRed: *laughs* nicely done, sir, nicely done. This one’s done, stick a fork in it. This series is going to 7.

    @Anoniminous: That was fun, and then it rolled into Robin Williams ripping on golf that was also fun. “We’ll make ’em do it 18 times!”

  122. 122.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    Okay, the rain has held off; let’s get this game in the books. Bottom of the ninth coming up.

  126. 126.

    MCA1

    @Gravenstone: Damn. You beat me to it. I mean, Honus, if you’re gonna be a hater, at least try to get the fucking names of the people you’re supposed to be hating on right.

    Besides, the “obviousness” of the assholishness you decry is lost on everyone but you. There’s pretty much zero to go on to call Joe Maddon or Jake Arrieta anything in that zip code (or Greg Maddux, for that matter). In fact, it’s obvious to pretty much the entire world, other than d-bags and Cards fans, that Maddon, in particular, would be like a top 10 invite for Thanksgiving dinner.

  127. 127.

    Tehanu

    I’m rooting for the Cubs (born on the North Side, I was) but I like Cleveland too. Anyhow, the WS sucks when any team — even one I hate — gets swept; I want to see real competition. If the Indians win 2 or even 3 games, that works — as long as that’s all. So far, so good!

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