Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Let there be snark.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Consistently wrong since 2002

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Republicans in disarray!

The willow is too close to the house.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

I really should read my own blog.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

In my day, never was longer.

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Reader Interactions

133Comments

  8. 8.

    Peale

    Let’s us now ponder what might have been. Oh if only they had nominated a fine tempered suit like Kaisich.

    Where’s that Sistah Soulja moment?

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    Coming after Bey may be the second stupidest thing a wannabe politician can do. Right after coming for FLOTUS.

  11. 11.

    Kubrick's Rube

    Care to respond, Jay?

    Motherfuckers,
    Say that I’m foolish I only talk about jewels
    Do you fools listen to music or do you just skim through it?
    See I’m influenced by the ghetto you ruined
    That same dude you gave nothing, I made something doing
    What I do through and through and
    I give you the news, with a twist it’s just his ghetto point-of-view
    The renegade, you been afraid
    I penetrate pop culture, bring ’em a lot closer to the block where they
    Pop toasters, and they live with they moms
    Got dropped roasters, from botched robberies niggas crotched over
    Mommy’s knocked up cause she wasn’t watched over
    Knocked down by some clown when child support knocked
    No he’s not around, now how that sound to ya, jot it down
    I bring it through the ghetto without riding ’round
    Hiding down ducking strays from frustrated youths stuck in they ways
    Just read a magazine that fucked up my day
    How you rate music that thugs with nothing relate to it?
    I help them see they way through it, not you
    Can’t step in my pants, can’t walk in my shoes
    Bet everything you worth; you lose your tie and your shirt

  16. 16.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    Joe WalshVerified account
    ‏@WalshFreedom
    If you want a country with 63 different genders, vote Hillary.

    If you want a country where men are men and women are women, vote Trump.

    63 genders? I like those odds!

    Taco trucks on every corner, 63 genders, they just keep sweetening the deal.

  21. 21.

    Peale

    @jp: yep. The man who injected a discussion of penis sizes into a presidential debate calls Beyoncé obscene.

  27. 27.

    Major Major Major Major

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    Far back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the former Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich, and on the whole, tax-free. In those days, spirits were brave; the stakes were high; men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

    -Douglas Adams

  29. 29.

    Mike J

    Chance the Rapper had a free concert in his hometown of Chicago tonight. At the end, he led a march of hundreds to the polling station.

  31. 31.

    MattF

    Toxic, ‘Stream-of-Trump’ consciousness. I’ll be ready to joke about it at a future point in time.

  34. 34.

    Lyrebird

    @Bill E Pilgrim: L’Chaim to that! (see Mazal Tov cocktail story above)

    A decent taco truck within less than 3 hours’ travel time would be so so so wonderful…

  38. 38.

    JMG

    Paging EF Goldman! At rally tonight, Trump read letters, one in which Tom Brady said he’d voted for him, the other in which Bill Belichick praised him for standing tall against the media. Thing is, Brady said on the radio this morning he hadn’t voted yet, and early voting here ended last Friday. For another, “Belichick’s” letter bore a distinct resemblance to the prose style of one D. Trump. Poor Stacey James, the Pats’ PR guy, just had his Monday night ruined.

  39. 39.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Major Major Major Major:

    I see your Douglas and raise you Kurt:

    One of the biggest moral bombshells handed to Billy by the Tralfamadorians, incidentally had to do with sex on Earth. They said their flying-saucer crews had identified no fewer than seven sexes on Earth, each essential to reproduction. Again: Billy couldn’t possibly imagine what five of those seven sexes had to do with the making of a baby, since they were sexually active only in the fourth dimension.

    -Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

  40. 40.

    Lyrebird

    @lollipopguild: Oh I like that, thanks. It was just a misstatement, a funnier one than mine ([email protected]gogol’s wife). I have trouble keeping Hughes and Conway straight in my mind.

    I told a friend about this blog a few weeks ago, saying that I like a place where people can look at and listen to Ms. Machado and Mrs. (I think?) Conway, Ms. Hughes, etc., and know who merits being called a (selfish!) pig.

  42. 42.

    Lyrebird

    @Mike J: I made some tuna sandwiches for the HRC office! With local artisanal bread, but no arugula. Out.

    Would need practice on tacos, but for people at all veg-curious, I highly recommend the Viva Vegan cookbook…

  44. 44.

    Lyrebird

    @gogol’s wife: Thanks. WP may have eaten my previous thanks for the correction & reply to lollipopguild. Can’t think of why it would be in moderation, but who knows.

  47. 47.

    Glennis

    Presidential candidate spends his time on the dais to criticize the lyrics of a pop tune?
    Yeah, he’s got his priorities straight.
    He’s gonna be great during an international crisis.

  48. 48.

    Davis X. Machina

    @Lyrebird:

    That appalling Republican candidate can’t walk away from an opportunity to put other people down.

    The entire Trump political edifice is based on one idea: “I don’t care. He hates the same people I hate. Hand me the goddam ballot!”

    That’s it. That’s all there is.

  50. 50.

    p.a.

    tick tock Donnie. tick fuckin tock. don’t forget to deny tomorrow’s result; lead your klown krewe of deplorables further into the ditch; they deserve it.

  52. 52.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mike J: the video won’t play for me, the still shot is amazing.

    (is it too late for him to do a morning show in Cincinnati or Raleigh-Durham?)

  55. 55.

    phein55

    Walking: Always have one foot on the ground.

    Running: Don’t always have one foot on the ground.

    Now you know.

  57. 57.

    NotMax

    Re-watching Gore Vidal: The United States of Amnesia as an election aperitif.

    On Netflix, for those who have access to that.

  59. 59.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    a tale of two campaigns, in tweets

    Brian Beutler ‏@ brianbeutler 13m13 minutes ago
    Clinton: I regret deeply how angry the tone of the campaign became.
    Crowd member: Not your fault!

    Katy Tur ‏@ KatyTurNBC 1h1 hour ago
    Man yells “assassinate that bitch” as Pence talks about Clinton and Benghazi in Manchester, NH.

    and, also, too

    Katy Tur ‏@ KatyTurNBC 12m12 minutes ago
    “It’s demeaning to the political process” Trump says of Clinton having Bon Jovi, Springsteen, and Jay Z hold concerts with her.

  71. 71.

    jk

    Donald Trump is the slimiest, sleaziest, most disgusting major party presidential nominee of all-time and I can’t wait to see him get the ass-kicking of his life in 24 hours from now.

  72. 72.

    Anne Laurie

    You mean racewalking, Cole — the Google diverts there.

    (I’ll admit I only know racewalking is an actual sport because I have a sibling who competes, internationally. It’s good for the abs & gluts, I’m told! And although I’ve never actually watched a competition, my racewalking brother has been far more successful than his identical twin in avoiding middle-aged spread… )

  77. 77.

    hovercraft

    @p.a.:
    Actually it’s only a little over 2 hours till the weird Dixville Notch or whatever it’s called, when 12 people in NH get to vote before the rest of us. And the media gets to pretend it means something.

  78. 78.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Major Major Major Major: I haven’t had a chance yet. I may take my Mom tomorrow night to get her away from the election coverage for a bit depending on her schedule.

    And yes, pretty much if its not based on a comic book, or a sci-fi/fantasy book, or its animated I don’t go see it. With the exception of select documentaries.

  79. 79.

    LurkerExtraordinaire

    Aw, I tried to add to the 32 flavors theme with an Ani DiFranco video, but it didn’t work. Oh well.

  80. 80.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: Best tweet I saw today was:
    “On Wednesday Conway can go back to being the mom that kills the popular cheerleader so her daughter can get on the squad.”

  81. 81.

    Lyrebird

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Manischewitz and seltzer?

    Maybe schnapps instead of Manishewitz? Hard to think of kosher cough syrup as explosive, even with the fizzy stuff added.

  85. 85.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @efgoldman: Hey speak for yourself. Brings back memories for me.

    That’s actually one of those songs that’s beyond good or bad for me, it’s so wedged into adolescence it was just sort of — there.

  86. 86.

    Mary G

    Larry Sabato’s crystal ball says Applegate is going to beat Issa. Senate goes 50/50 and Hillary will be president.

  89. 89.

    LurkerExtraordinaire

    @Bill E Pilgrim: A comedienne had a pretty funny taco truck video on Facebook. She went through all the taco-bilities: kimchi taco, falafel taco, chicken tikka ma-taco….hilarious.

    ETA: Leslie Kritzer is her name, I believe.

  96. 96.

    p.a.

    My fave taco wagon went under, but my new fave taqueria will get some celebratory cash tomorrow. Wish Senate was a better projection than 50/50. We were more hopeful earlier this year, IIRC.

  103. 103.

    Mnemosyne

    @LurkerExtraordinaire:

    Moana is awesomesauce. My husband who was a little “meh” about Frozen absolutely loved it. At this weekend’s afterparty, someone in line for the ladies room said, “All of the songs are going through my head at the same time!”

    (And I’m not just saying that because of who signs my paycheck. It really is amazing.)

  108. 108.

    scott (the other one)

    No wonder Trump hates Jay-Z. Jay-Z not only really is the self-made man that Trump pretends he is and wishes he were, he’s almost certainly also worth more than Trump. And after tomorrow, Jay-Z’s brand is still going to be worth millions, in stark contrast to the GOP loser.

  110. 110.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @efgoldman: The accidentally purchased vanilla brandy is in the liquor cabinet. Will be tried with tea during the winter. Or fobbed off on my s-i-l who likes sickly sweet drinks.

  116. 116.

    Central Planning

    @Omnes Omnibus: sounds like the start of a long discussion: favorite 3-ingredient cocktail. I’m currently partial to the sidecar – lemon juice, cointreau, and cognac (currently B&B). Margarita would be up there too for the summer months.

  117. 117.

    BellyCat

    In his defense, this is kind of how I feel about speedwalking. I mean, are they walking? Are they running? What’s going on with it?

    LOL…. Well played!

  119. 119.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: That’s why I put it as a question. I figured it might do the least damage in a white sangria, but I don’t know. Personally I prefer my sangria to have wine, fruit, a bit of brandy, and not be too sweet/sugary.

  122. 122.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: No. I also wouldn’t mix brandy and soda. I don’t drink much at all. Basically the occasional high end beer, sangria if I’m eating Cuban, Brazilian, other Latin American, and/or Spanish food, and the occasional high end single malt. If I have one drink a month, I’ve really drunk a lot.

  123. 123.

    NotMax

    @Omnes Omnibus

    Some possibilities – maybe?

    Bake or purchase a sponge cake. Poke numerous holes in it with a fork. Generously drizzle the stuff on/into the cake.

    Mix a little in when making whipped cream. Ditto for French toast batter.

  125. 125.

    jacy

    @p.a.:

    Acapulco Tacos is the name of the little truck about 7 minutes drive from my house — between the Circle K and the used tire place. Hopefully when Trump loses, there’ll be some taco trucks closer than 7 minutes away.

  126. 126.

    jacy

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    The Boyfriend ended up somehow with a bottle of chocolate rum. We can’t figure out quite what to do with it. Bought some cherry vodka on a lark, but not matter what I mixed it with, it ended up tasting like cough syrup.

  131. 131.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @NotMax: That sounds like work. I am looking to unload a mistake with as little effort as possible. OTOH, if someone made them, I would give them a try.

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