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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Trump makes a mockery of the legal system and cowardly judges just sit back and let him.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

It’s easier to kill a dangerous animal than a man who just happens to have different thoughts/values than one’s own.

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

We’re not going back!

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Bark louder, little dog.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

It’s a new day. Light all those Biden polls of young people on fire and throw away the ashes.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

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You are here: Home / Humorous / Some Light Humor for the Mid-Afternoon

Some Light Humor for the Mid-Afternoon

by John Cole|  November 8, 20161:05 pm| 268 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

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My vision of America. A former convict getting a fresh start with Snoop Dogg. Beautiful. RT @timmhotep: #Loving pic.twitter.com/eQZhSuMZ5C

— Kozza (@Kozza) November 7, 2016

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Previous Post: « The Maskirovka Slips VI: The Grey Zone Attacked
Next Post: Dogs, Kids and Elections (Open Thread) »

Reader Interactions

268Comments

  1. 1.

    Punchy

    November 8, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    Fo’ shizzle my Jizzle.

  2. 2.

    GrandJury

    November 8, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    What that is even supposed to mean?

  3. 3.

    The Moar You Know

    November 8, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    Y’know, the wonderful thing about those two is that they are both utterly charming separately; together they’re off the charts. She’s got the polish, he has the cred. Both amazingly smart. They’re entertaining as all hell.

  4. 4.

    Jeffro

    November 8, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    Do we have a master list somewhere of all the insulting nicknames we have given to Orangemandias this election?

  5. 5.

    cain

    November 8, 2016 at 1:10 pm

    She looks oddly alluring in that picture.

  6. 6.

    peach flavored shampoo

    November 8, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    Mid-afternoon? Where are you posting from, St. Kitts?

    The lack of exit poll data is refreshing. Dont need adverse anecdotal data to send me into a hot mess.

  7. 7.

    sharculese

    November 8, 2016 at 1:11 pm

    @GrandJury: They have a new cooking show on VH1 where they square off in themed challenges with the assistance of celebrity guests. First episode aired last night. Fried chicken. It started weak because Stewart was unsure of herself and kind of wooden, but the longer it went on the more she got into the spirit of things. It’s not gonna be appointment tv but it seems fun.

  8. 8.

    trollhattan

    November 8, 2016 at 1:12 pm

    @GrandJury:
    <delDon'tNever leave the lair, do you?

  9. 9.

    Dork

    November 8, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    @Jeffro: why not start a list of ’em on this thread? Here goes– Mango Mussolini

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    November 8, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    Somewhat election-related–one of my favorite citizen corporations is Patagonia, makers of breathtakingly expensive outdoor clothing and gear (that generally lasts long enough to justify the price, but anyway). They’re innovators of sustainable manufacturing, ethical sourcing, product recycling, low-impact agriculture, etc. and are passionate about voting the environment.

    Got an email today with a reminder to vote the environment, a tool for finding your polling place and this postscript:

    We’ve given our
    employees Election Day
    off to vote and get
    out the vote.

    Meanwhile at Koch Industries….

  11. 11.

    Pogonip

    November 8, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    Cole, what happened to Walter’s previous owner? Did he go to jail?

  12. 12.

    Mary G

    November 8, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    They do have mad chemistry. I saw a clip from the new $25,000 Pyramid where she was describing decorative elements like wainscoting and foyer and he was guessing them all right.

  13. 13.

    Face

    November 8, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    @Dork: I love NotMax’s term: Carrot Flop

  14. 14.

    MJS

    November 8, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    @cain: Oddly? Look at some pictures of a younger Martha. She was a model at one point, I believe.

  15. 15.

    Calouste

    November 8, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    @Dork: Short-fingered cheeto-faced ferret-topped shitgibbon.

  16. 16.

    cain

    November 8, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    @MJS: It’s because she is oddly cold for some reason.

  17. 17.

    Gelfling 545

    November 8, 2016 at 1:23 pm

    @cain: It’s a trait often ascribed to successful females.

  18. 18.

    divF

    November 8, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    This show will never go over with the WWC demo.

  19. 19.

    daryljfontaine

    November 8, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    Reposting from downstairs:

    Off-topic, but interesting/infuriating for Election Day: real-time Google Trends map of increased searches for common voting problems.

    – Provisional ballots
    – Inactive voter status
    – Long wait times
    – Voter intimidation
    – Voting machine problems

    Here’s a direct link to the map.

    D

  20. 20.

    Shell

    November 8, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    Yesterday TCM showed a slew of movies with political themes. And today…all movies about test pilots? I think some zany comedies would have served us better on a day like today.

  21. 21.

    trollhattan

    November 8, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    @MJS:
    Martha has always been dishy and she’s now seventy-five for Pete’s sake–just look at her!

    Never felt strongly about her–other than marveling at the power of her brand back in the ’80s and ’90s–but was appalled at her prosecution and conviction. After the ’08 crash yielded effectively zero prison time for the culprits I became 10x as appalled. Some scalp they got.

  22. 22.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    November 8, 2016 at 1:28 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    And if those two crazy kids can’t make it work, there’s no chance for any of us!

  23. 23.

    Adam L Silverman

    November 8, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    @trollhattan: She’s also a good source of foolproof recipes if you need something in a pinch. My knife set is part of her branded collection. I don’t know who actually made them, but its one of the best knife sets I’ve ever used/had.

  24. 24.

    scav

    November 8, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: One finds good knives where one can. Two of my best were made by a guy living in a woodstove-heated shack in a boat junkyard, the newest is Italian from a town market in Olonzac France.

  25. 25.

    hedgehog mobile

    November 8, 2016 at 1:38 pm

    Hair Furor and Mangled Apricot Hellbeast are my faves. Why no I can’t focus on work today, why do you ask?

  26. 26.

    raven

    November 8, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    @scav: I sort of like my Sabatier knives.

  27. 27.

    scav

    November 8, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    @raven: Tooooo Funny! I had to check, but those are my other four good ones (I have an indulgent sister with a similar love of blades.) Carbon Steel!

    (ETA Is the “sort of” because of the staining? That never bothered me, but then growing up my mom had one that we called “The Black Knife” out of pure affection.)

  28. 28.

    Joyce H

    November 8, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Martha has always been dishy and she’s now seventy-five for Pete’s sake–just look at her!

    OMG! I had to google that because I didn’t believe it – but sure enough, she’s seventy-five!

    Man, I need to start, I dunno, moisturizing or something!

  29. 29.

    raven

    November 8, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    @scav: Nah, tongue and cheek. They are the best!

  30. 30.

    waysel

    November 8, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    Der Trumpenfurher. And ask Betty Cracker.

  31. 31.

    redshirt

    November 8, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    For a stoner, Snoop Dog is remarkably active. He’s moved into the legal marijuana space in a big way and I wouldn’t be surprised if it makes a him a billionaire in the end. Who wouldn’t trust Snoop brand weed? Or nutrients? Or bongs? I think he’s got a place in the entire vertical chain of marijuana production and consumption.

    It’s a gold rush.

  32. 32.

    raven

    November 8, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    @Joyce H: Tijuana Tuck and Roll

  33. 33.

    raven

    November 8, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    @redshirt: His son was a pretty good wide out but I don’t think he liked being hit at the UCLA level.

  34. 34.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 1:53 pm

    @scav: My first chef’s knife was a carbon-steel hand-me-down from my parents that must’ve seen 30 years use between us before the handle became loose. It was cost-prohibitive to repair, so I’m currently on year nine of the Wustoff Classic I replaced it with.

    (And yes, it was stained like the dickens.)

  35. 35.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Snoop Dogg has also been doing some good work locally by getting LAPD and Black Lives Matter to talk to each other and try to work together. He’s only a couple of years younger than I am, so when he was goofing around and doing porn movie cameos in his 20s, I was thinking, Dude, you are so going to regret that once you settle down and have kids.

  36. 36.

    piratedan

    November 8, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    just reading all of this anecdata while humming the Eurythmics tune of Sisters are doing it for themselves

  37. 37.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 1:55 pm

    @Joyce H:

    Sunscreen. It’s all about sunscreen and not smoking.

  38. 38.

    Daoud bin Daoud

    November 8, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    “Der Drumpfenführer” and “Donnie Littlefingers” are two I’ve used in recent postings.

  39. 39.

    Shell

    November 8, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    From the british paper, The Guardian. Your Election Night Survival Guide.
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/08/us-election-day-night-guide-polls-close

    I forgot that a some states close before 8pm EST. Florida at 7!
    *********
    They also have a recipe for a ‘The Donald’ cocktail, which looks absolutely disgusting!

  40. 40.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    but its one of the best knife sets I’ve ever used/had.

    wow. Still working on first knife set 35+ years later. No indication they will be gone before I am. What do you do to them?

  41. 41.

    Pogonip

    November 8, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    My father slipped on the ice and broke his hip sometime in the (19)90’s. So we go into his hospital room to see him and ask how he is and he replies “Somebody better call Snoop Doggy Dog and tell him I won’t be able to dance in his sow for a while.”

  42. 42.

    scav

    November 8, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    @raven: Whew. Should have trusted my guts, but some are a little freaked by the coloring.

    And I’m going to need all the absorption in geeky details of all personal obsessions I can get to make it through the rest of this day. I’m not sure the good book I set aside is going to be able to handle it (although it will at least keep me away from the interwebs if I can click into that hard-print brain).

  43. 43.

    Pogonip

    November 8, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    @Pogonip: Oops. His show. Not his sow. Dancing in his sow would be difficult even if she were one of those enormous state fair prize winners.

  44. 44.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    @Joyce H: Jacques Pepin is well over eighty, Julia Child was over 91 when she died.
    Doing a cooking show seems to keep one young.

  45. 45.

    Pogonip

    November 8, 2016 at 2:04 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Sounds like a good guy.

  46. 46.

    nominus

    November 8, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    Look, it’s been settled

  47. 47.

    GrandJury

    November 8, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    @sharculese: Ok, never heard of it. Will never watch it.

  48. 48.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    @Eugene in Eugene:

    It was cost-prohibitive to repair,

    I just remembered that the tip broke off one of our knives. We sent it back since I guess it was lifetime guaranteed. They replaced it.
    Either Wusthof or Henckels.

  49. 49.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 8, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    @ AriBerman
    Trump supporters blocking entrance to polls & intimidating voters in Coral Springs, Florida. Pics sent by volunteer from HRC campaign.

  50. 50.

    amk

    November 8, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    gopolitico fp headline for hours now – trump hopes for a miracle.

    the mofos don’t even hide their shilling any more.

  51. 51.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Here’s a simple rule of thumb: if Mrs. Clinton is even within four or five points in the popular vote between 9 p.m. and 11 p.m., she’s probably going to win it.

    If Mrs. Clinton has carried her firewall states, or either Florida or North Carolina, she could win the presidency around 11 p.m. in the East, when polls close on the West Coast.

    Should I be annoyed that the column keeps referring to Mrs Clinton instead of Secretary Clinton?

  52. 52.

    cain

    November 8, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    @Gelfling 545:

    @cain: It’s a trait often ascribed to successful females.

    That would be sexist and wrong if that were true.

  53. 53.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    At the risk of re-starting the war over whether making an animated film about ancient Polynesians is exploitative by definition, here’s the pop song version of the heroine’s big number, “How Far I’ll Go.”

    Seems apropos today.

  54. 54.

    GrandJury

    November 8, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    @redshirt: To think that Cheech and Chong could have done the same thing if they weren’t so far ahead of their time.

    Chong even had to do some time in prison for selling bongs. Something that would not be a problem to do now. At least in some states.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    @Mike J:

    Once she wins, she can be addressed as “President Clinton,” “Mrs. Clinton” or “Madam President” — all three are equally correct. They’re just getting a head start on the proper address. ?

  56. 56.

    Jeffro

    November 8, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    @hedgehog mobile:

    Why no I can’t focus on work today, why do you ask?

    I hear you…I’ve been taking Election Day (and Day After, some years!) as a sick day ever since 2000. I never get any work done anyway, and it feels great to get out n’ do GOTV activities (plus a couple of errands)

  57. 57.

    raven

    November 8, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    @GrandJury: “you pigs wanna give us push”!!

  58. 58.

    The Moar You Know

    November 8, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    Should I be annoyed that the column keeps referring to Mrs Clinton instead of Secretary Clinton?

    @Mike J: Yes. And you should be far more annoyed when they do it to her after she takes the oath in January.

  59. 59.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 2:14 pm

    @Jeffro:
    My personal favorite was Ill Douche.

  60. 60.

    trollhattan

    November 8, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    @Pogonip:
    How now, dancing sow?

  61. 61.

    Shell

    November 8, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    Stevie Wonder sums it up nicely. “Voting for Donald Trump is like asking me to drive.”

  62. 62.

    Albert Z.

    November 8, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    For your consideration::: 10 Pitchfork Staffers on Songs that Ease Election Anxiety

  63. 63.

    debit

    November 8, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    @The Moar You Know: As I understand it, the proper way to speak about the President is to address him/her as President Whatever the first time s/he’s referenced, and then after that Mr/Mrs/Ms Whatever.

    ETA: and one assumes the same goes for any title.

  64. 64.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    @catclub: oh, the carbon-steel knife wasn’t a Wusthof, Henckels, or anything like that. As a matter of fact, it was a pretty cheaply made knife. No bolster, so I’m assuming rolled, not forged, and the whole thing with the handle being loose was because the wooden handle was connected to a metal cowl which was what was actually connected to the partial tang. Still, my parents and I got a good 30+ years out of it.

  65. 65.

    I'll be Frank

    November 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    @divF: That’s a demo that loves chronic and thinking dirty thoughts about other people. Looks like a two-fer to me.

  66. 66.

    raven

    November 8, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    Born in East LA (1987) “Jesus esta en Tijuana”

  67. 67.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    @Joyce H:

    Man, I need to start, I dunno, moisturizing or something!

    I’m pretty sure having a full-time makeup team would help, also, too.

  68. 68.

    redshirt

    November 8, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    @Shell: I saw an ad from the 70’s for the Atari gaming system with Stevie Wonder saying something like “If I could play video games, I’d play Atari”.

    Guess it’s a theme.

  69. 69.

    West of the Cascades

    November 8, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    220 minutes until the first polls close in Indiana and Kentucky!

  70. 70.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    @GrandJury: Didn’t Tommy Chong get tripped up on exclusively federal charges? I think those are still in force, even if they wouldn’t necessarily be enforced.

  71. 71.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    @debit: That would be a reasonable rule, but the Times article first refers to her by full name, and from then n as Mrs, never as Secretary or Senator.

  72. 72.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    @Roger Moore: Having a full-time makeup team sounds bothersome. I don’t want to have to spend 15 minutes sitting in a chair before I just pop down to the 7-11 to pick up some milk.

  73. 73.

    Poopyman

    November 8, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    @Mike J:

    Should I be annoyed that the column keeps referring to Mrs Clinton instead of Secretary Clinton?

    Sen. Obama became President Obama, or alternatively, Mr. Obama. So Mrs. Clinton is an allowable alternative to Madame President, I should think.

    ETA: Or yeah, I should at least have read as far as Mnem. Now off to read all the other responses….

    They’re just a bit ahead of the inevitable.

  74. 74.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Trump’s already suing in Nevada. I hope Democrats are ready. I’m confident they are- if any Republicans was going to try to get Latino votes excluded it’s Donald Trump.

  75. 75.

    imonlylurking

    November 8, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    My outfit of choice for job interviews is a pantsuit. I don’t have one at the moment and have been dreading the shopping trip to acquire one. I just realized-the stores are going to be FULL of pantsuits! It’s going to be a blast!

  76. 76.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 2:26 pm

    I don’t wish to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing, but it is my hope that reading the people Trump follows on Twitter could be amusing tonight.

    Here they are in one handy list.

  77. 77.

    nonynony

    November 8, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    @Mnemosyne: What about Ms. Clinton?

  78. 78.

    debit

    November 8, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    @Mike J: Oh, well that is full of crap. Very disrespectful.

  79. 79.

    Napoleon

    November 8, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Holy Shit – that show is for real!

  80. 80.

    Aleta

    November 8, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Perhaps mentioned already, but … another funny photo + caption from Kozza :
    https://mobile.twitter.com/Kozza/status/796039880602243072/photo/1

    When you stupid and your wife knows it, so you not sure she gon vote for you for President.

    Real photo? Sure looks convincing but hard to believe…..

  81. 81.

    Mikefromarlington

    November 8, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Trump already challenging votes

  82. 82.

    Cermet

    November 8, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    When this election is over, I, and as I hope most here. will drop all mentions of the small handed rump from our posts. We will have our posts full of the various thugs being the cockroaches as they are running about trying to undermine President Hillary.

  83. 83.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    @nonynony:

    Last I heard, the style book at the NY Times doesn’t allow for it except upon specific request by the person herself, but other places probably do.

  84. 84.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    @catclub:

    Jacques Pepin is well over eighty, Julia Child was over 91 when she died.
    Doing a cooking show seems to keep one young.

    That or being a conductor, who seem to be similarly long lived.

  85. 85.

    Miss Bianca

    November 8, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    I think they make a very dishy couple, personally.

    (yeah, pun intended).

  86. 86.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    Did anybody already mention that TPM reports Ill Douche kiddos Eric & Ivanka posted illegal ballot selfies. NY being among the states where that’s prohibited. Laws are for the little people.Trump said “they were unaware of the rule.They feel very guilty.But it’s fine”

  87. 87.

    Calouste

    November 8, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    @Mike J: If the Founding Fathers would have wanted people to keep titles for life, they would have written that into the constitution. They more or less did the opposite.

  88. 88.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 8, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    @Kay: @ DukeStJournal 3m3 minutes ago
    Judge is stuttering in disbelief at Trump lawyer. “What. Are. You. Asking. For.” Not going great for the plaintiffs.

  89. 89.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    @Calouste: It’s still proper to refer to President Clinton (the first one) or President Bush.

  90. 90.

    Betty Cracker

    November 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    @Shell: Florida is in two time zones, though. Stupid panhandle!

  91. 91.

    Miss Bianca

    November 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    @cain: It *is* sexist, wrong…and true.

  92. 92.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    Gag. Guiliani is on msnbc with Katy Tur. Now there’s a guy I would be very happy to see locked up.

  93. 93.

    Betty Cracker

    November 8, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    @Kay: I take that as a sign he’s…not confident in victory.

  94. 94.

    Tom

    November 8, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    The Rage Cantelope

  95. 95.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Do these morons trying to keep people from voting think Trump will bail them out if they get arrested?

  96. 96.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 8, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Matthew Yglesias ‏@ mattyglesias 15m15 minutes ago
    The question isn’t whether Trump accepts the results, it’s whether his enablers in congress and conservative media cut him off.

    I’ll look for old and newly elected Senators to come out against him, and Ben Sasse, who wants to ride a horse called NeverTrump to the 2020 convention. I wonder if Paul Ryan is smart enough to understand that Sasse is going to take his place, with his picture taped to the inside of the Village’s lockers. Also, Susannah Martinez and Nikki Haley

  97. 97.

    MisterForkbeard

    November 8, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    @catclub: We (mostly) use Wusthof, and they’re great. Our best knife is a hand-me-down from my wife’s grandmother, and it doesn’t have a brand. I’m assuming she got it from some local guy back in the 30s, but I’ll be damned if the knife isn’t still amazing.

  98. 98.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    @debit:

    As I understand it, the proper way to speak about the President is to address him/her as President Whatever the first time s/he’s referenced, and then after that Mr/Mrs/Ms Whatever.

    I thought that Madam is the other way to address a woman president, as in Madam President, and also Madam Secretary. Don’t know if this is formal or accepted etiquette.

    Mrs or Ms President seems a bit clunky.

    Also, former presidents are still referred to as Mr President. But this would not work for Bill Clinton, when in the same room with Hillary. “President and Mr President? or President Clinton and Mr President?” I don’t think so.

    Social Secretaries and Chiefs of Protocol must be having a good time with this stuff.

  99. 99.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    @Kay: That cracks me up. They are even more idiotic than I thought

  100. 100.

    MisterForkbeard

    November 8, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    @Mikefromarlington: The best part of that is how completely ridiculous it is. They’re suing for the county to retain all records from early voting because the county “broke the law” by staying open until everyone had voted.

    Except: The county is already required to keep those records. And the law explicitly states that if you’re in line when the polls close, you get to vote.

    So not only is their supposed goal already in place, their reasoning to get that goal is also wrong. Wow.

  101. 101.

    Cermet

    November 8, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    For those who doubt that a Hispanic surge will not occur – from 538. This matters – in fact, a great deal. If Fl falls to Hillary, game over – period.

    36 percent; Percentage of Hispanic voters who have cast early ballots in Florida who did not vote in 2012. [The New York Times]

    (Bad mouse!)

  102. 102.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 8, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    @bemused: Giuliani is less “a guy” than “a swarm of bats momentarily organized in a vaguely human silhouette.”

  103. 103.

    Poopyman

    November 8, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    “Failed pumpkin impersonator”

  104. 104.

    Calouste

    November 8, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    @Aleta: Real photo. I saw it on the BBC as well.

  105. 105.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    @Kay:

    Trump’s already suing in Nevada. I hope Democrats are ready.

    I’m pretty sure the Harry Reid machine knows how to handle this stuff. The latest report from the court is that the judge literally laughed at Trump’s lawyer.

  106. 106.

    Shell

    November 8, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    Martha Stewart also dated Anthony Hopkins for a while. Now theres an interesting pair!

  107. 107.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 2:42 pm

    @Calouste:

    If the Founding Fathers would have wanted people to keep titles for life, they would have written that into the constitution. They more or less did the opposite.

    Supreme Court justices are the exception, right?

  108. 108.

    GregB

    November 8, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    You have to believe that Shrumph has already lost because his side is behaving like losers, flailing wildly and tilting at eindmills in Nevada.

  109. 109.

    scav

    November 8, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    @Kay: Preemptive Whining — such a good look, especially for the manly man, the self-made-man.

  110. 110.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    November 8, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    @Brachiator: Judges and ambassadors?

  111. 111.

    Peale

    November 8, 2016 at 2:44 pm

    @Kay: Perhaps if his campaign spent some time concerned about the way Latino’s would vote in November, they could have done something about that earlier. Like maybe not been so hostile toward them. Or not run an entire campaign around the theme that there were too many of them and that their presence in the country was a mistake and a disaster.

  112. 112.

    Peale

    November 8, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    @scav: I wonder which of the 63 genders we’re going to have when Hillary wins is covered by “whiny assholes.” Is that one of them?

  113. 113.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    I didn’t look at all the affidavits but so far it’s Trump volunteer poll watchers and a volunteer lawyer from NY. The accounts are just really garbled- they’re all repeating this one part where two voters went up and either were refused or voted? I’m not clear on why these two voters who did or didn’t vote are so central.

    Also “Democrat volunteers” – the tell :)

  114. 114.

    Aleta

    November 8, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    @imonlylurking:

    I just realized-the stores are going to be FULL of pantsuits!

    ha ha that’s a fun image, and imagining all the mannequins posing in the windows

  115. 115.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 8, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    @Peale: It’s disturbingly close to the majority.

  116. 116.

    Shell

    November 8, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    So not only is their supposed goal already in place, their reasoning to get that goal is also wrong. Wow.

    I think the difference is that those polling places decided earlier to keep open till 10pm, and letting people getting on line after 8 o’clock.

  117. 117.

    TriassicSands

    November 8, 2016 at 2:48 pm

    From the front page of the NY Times at about 11:40 PST:

    Hillary Clinton called voting for herself “a humbling feeling.”

    Donald J. Trump said “a lot of the polls are purposely wrong.”

    Quite the contrast. I would imagine that voting for oneself for president would be both strange an humbling.

    But with Trump, it’s all about conspiracies and paranoia right up to the end. The photos of both Trump and one of his sons trying to see who their wives are voting for is also in character.

  118. 118.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 2:48 pm

    @Peale:

    If I were the judge I would ask them why they didn’t report this to the Secretary of State Monday. Why today? It supposedly happened on the 4th.

  119. 119.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    Mariachi band at Nevada polling place.

  120. 120.

    WarMunchkin

    November 8, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    So many people making calls for Hillary that my phone kept dropping calls in the Manhattan office (I don’t have preferred traffic). I asked if I could do something else and a disheveled coordinator told me to go home cause there were too many people. I guess that means we’re doing good.

  121. 121.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Judges and ambassadors?

    Ambassadors serve at the pleasure of the president.

  122. 122.

    Amir Khalid

    November 8, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    @Brachiator:
    I recall that Adam had a go at addressing this. I think he said they would indeed be announced together as “President Clinton and President Clinton”, as odd as it might sound, since (touch wood) they have both earned the title. If you were then to chat with them at some point in the cocktail reception, you’d call him Mr. President and her Madam President.

    Having said that, it seems to me that this is not a problem that many American couples can expect to face.

  123. 123.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    @Brachiator:

    You can properly address a US president three different ways, in no particular order:

    “Madam/Mr. President”
    “Mrs./Mr. Lastname”
    “President Lastname”

    It will be just as proper to address our new president as “Mrs. Clinton” (or “Ms. Clinton”) as it would be to call her “President Clinton.”

    It kind of drives me nuts that so many people get this wrong. And, technically, you shouldn’t address someone by an official title they no longer hold, so it drives me nuts whenever people do that.

    If you wanted to address an envelope to the (soon to be) First Couple, the Miss Manners way to do it would be “President and Mr. Clinton.”

  124. 124.

    Barbara

    November 8, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    @GregB: This is how they will justify not conceding tonight. By pointing to these individual instances of “suspected” voting irregularities, never mind that the state law is clear, and that the governor of the state is a Republican.

  125. 125.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Bats shriveled like prunes. Even when he was younger, I can’t imagine how any woman married him, let alone three (?). Just eeew.

  126. 126.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    @Mike J:

    Mariachi band at Nevada polling place.

    Banda Los Bad Hombres?

  127. 127.

    RobertB

    November 8, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    @Shell: Martha Stewart has just the recipe for liver and fava beans, paired with a nice Chianti.

  128. 128.

    TriassicSands

    November 8, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Why am I told I don’t have “permission” to edit my own comment? Is that just FYWP? All i want to do is fix a typo. But noooooooooo…

  129. 129.

    Percysowner

    November 8, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Would Ms. Clinton be permitted?

  130. 130.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    @Kay: That’s the tell for sure. Do you know what OH poll the guy who showed up to watch w/o credentials got tossed out of? I got an email about the tweet, but don’t know where.
    The location manager here included mute in the lunch order list, and when I asked for the numbers for the 1:45 supply report on the log said “this is fun!” It’s busier than usual here, they tell me.

  131. 131.

    Loneoak

    November 8, 2016 at 2:53 pm

    Thank you, Juicers, for being a bastion of sanity and decency on the internets. And thank you to the management who does the occasional manure shoveling and miscellaneous maintenance. Good job everyone. #pantsuitsforall

  132. 132.

    schrodinger's cat

    November 8, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    @TriassicSands: I have the same problem since the site was “updated”, I can no longer edit my own comments.

  133. 133.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    @bemused:

    Even when he was younger, I can’t imagine how any woman married him, let alone three (?).

    He was packing a huge … wallet.

    And who knows, he may have been persuasive and even kind (or something close to it) in private.

  134. 134.

    Aleta

    November 8, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    You can watch a Nevada judge stand up to the Trump request for court order, live here (just ended).ETA Well, her strong response to him should show up on their newscast soon I hope.

  135. 135.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    November 8, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    @Mike J:

    No. It’s their house style for people not currently in office. They also refer to, for example, “Mr. Gingrich,” not “Speaker Gingrich.”

  136. 136.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    @scav:

    Rick Hasen ‏@rickhasen 20m20 minutes ago
    Rick Hasen Retweeted Rachel Maddow MSNBC
    As @fredwooch says, this is about trying to get some early ballot counting excluded on election night so Nevada cannot be called for Clinton

    That’s Trump’s whole life, though. Whining and cheating and threatening and cutting corners and looking for special loopholes that only apply to him. It’s consistent. That he’s constantly suing people is part of that.

    When Palin was running I read that she inserted herself into a custody battle to the extent that she alienated the judge and everyone else involved. There are people who do this stuff and people who don’t and the behavior is consistent across the board.

  137. 137.

    MomSense

    November 8, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    Two more hours and then I hit my last GOTV shift. So ready to win this thing!

  138. 138.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    @Percysowner:

    Depends on which newspaper you’re writing for — it’s a house style thing. Miss Manners says “yes.”

  139. 139.

    MomSense

    November 8, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    Hundreds of high school kids have walked out of school in Arizona to canvass against Arpaio. They can’t vote but they want to do their part.

  140. 140.

    JCJ

    November 8, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    @Amir Khalid:

    Having said that, it seems to me that this is not a problem that many American couples can expect to face.

    It would be nice if the Obamas had to deal with that problem!

    ps – Liverpool! w00t!

  141. 141.

    WaterGirl

    November 8, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    I was just at Sam Wang’s site and I am not seeing any prediction about the Illinois senate race, for instance. Why does he show only 7 senate races when I thought there were something like 10 senate seats in play?

  142. 142.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 2:59 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    The only thing I heard was not to get excited about long lines because there are a lot of candidates and local issues, so each voter is taking longer- hence- lines.

  143. 143.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    @Brachiator:

    I’m going to try to forget you wrote that last sentence.

    It’s not just his looks. It’s his nails on chalkboard personality. Just think of listening to that annoying asshole all day long.

  144. 144.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    @Kay: That is his whole life – plus the part where he makes out great and the vendors get stiffed.

  145. 145.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    And, technically, you shouldn’t address someone by an official title they no longer hold, so it drives me nuts whenever people do that.

    Sorry, but people have been doing that for about as long as we’ve had a country. For example, people kept referring to Alexander Hamilton as “General Hamilton” even after he had resigned his commission and gone back into private life.

  146. 146.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    @Kay:

    I’m not sure that holds true here in California (and we did have a very long ballot). The line moved well, but the sheer mass of people meant that I was in line for an hour starting at 7:40 am.

    I think I’m in the precinct where people have day jobs, because our line was very long and the other two were shorter. Those started filling up closer to 9:00 when my line was almost done.

  147. 147.

    Percysowner

    November 8, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    @Mnemosyne: @Kay: This would have all been avoided if Arkansas hadn’t freaked out that she wanted to keep her name Rodham! Oh, well.

    For some levity from Election stories from Not Always right

  148. 148.

    WereBear

    November 8, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    We voted! Mr WereBear wore green, I wore purple.

    The Trumpists wore red :)

    And, in Casablanca, the Germans wore grey.

  149. 149.

    Gin & Tonic

    November 8, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    @Kay: I watched the closing of that, um, hearing? I’m not a lawyer and have never been in court, but to these uneducated eyes/ears, the judge pulled the Trump lawyer’s pants down around his ankles, spanked him repeatedly and then laughed in his face.

  150. 150.

    Iowa Old Lady

    November 8, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    @MisterForkbeard: I can only assume Trump has never stood in line to vote. Every election, I see reports of polls staying open until everyone in line has voted. If you didn’t have that option, you could really choke off votes by limiting polling places and then sending away everyone who didn’t squeeze in.

  151. 151.

    scav

    November 8, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    @Kay: We need to brand them collectively with their own actions and attitude. Tattoo it firmly onto their foreheads like that idiot in Peoria.

  152. 152.

    Gin & Tonic

    November 8, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    @WereBear: I thought pretty much everybody wore grey in that movie.

  153. 153.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    @Percysowner: only if you’re nasty.

  154. 154.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    It will be just as proper to address our new president as “Mrs. Clinton” (or “Ms. Clinton”) as it would be to call her “President Clinton.”

    I didn’t get this wrong. Mrs Clinton is standard. Most newspaper style guides would use this, especially the NY Times. But I don’t know that any convention has yet settled on commonly using Ms. In the long run, I think any gender distinction is as old fashioned as a distinction meant to make marital status neutral.

    It kind of drives me nuts that so many people get this wrong. And, technically, you shouldn’t address someone by an official title they no longer hold, so it drives me nuts whenever people do that.

    It is a common courtesy to refer to presidents and other government officials by their former titles. I’m not sure where your view of “technically” comes into it. Some of this may have been a holdover from referring to retired military officers by their former rank, but it is a longstanding social tradition.

    If you wanted to address an envelope to the (soon to be) First Couple, the Miss Manners way to do it would be “President and Mr. Clinton.”

    If they received an invitation right now, could it be reasonably addressed to “President and Mrs Clinton?”

    ETA: I notice that the Guardian and some other news sites refer to Angela Merkel or Theresa May by their title or their name, but typically omit Mrs or Ms.

  155. 155.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 3:08 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    It kind of drives me nuts that so many people get this wrong. And, technically, you shouldn’t address someone by an official title they no longer hold, so it drives me nuts whenever people do that.

    Would you mind telling the fine folks at USAA that?

  156. 156.

    WarMunchkin

    November 8, 2016 at 3:09 pm

    There’s a hilarious picture of Trump peeking at Melania’s ballot. I mean if he’s that unsure…

    Besides, she probably just copied Michelle Obama’s ballot.

  157. 157.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    I was just at Sam Wang’s site and I am not seeing any prediction about the Illinois senate race, for instance.

    If you look in the right hand column of the website there’s a “The Power of One Vote” section, where you can select either the Presidential or Senate races. If you select Senate, he gives about 15 races; Illinois is rated low because Duckworth has an 11 point advantage.

  158. 158.

    Origuy

    November 8, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    In odd election news, my friends who live in San Mateo County (between San Francisco and San Jose) have a line on their ballot for Harbor Master. It makes it sound like it’s Portsmouth or Long Beach, some big harbor with ships coming and going. But apparently the Harbor Master is the person in charge of a couple of marinas on San Francisco Bay. I don’t know why this is an elected position.

  159. 159.

    WarMunchkin

    November 8, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    @Percysowner: I heard it’s permissible to call her President Rodhammer if she wins by at least 7.

  160. 160.

    Peale

    November 8, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    @Brachiator: But just to be clear, Colonel Sanders was properly addressed as Colonel.

  161. 161.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    @Kay: Twitter:

  162. 162.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    @bemused:

    I’m going to try to forget you wrote that last sentence.

    That’s OK. I was half joking. After all the tension of the election season, I have voted, and am relaxed as we get ready for the results.

  163. 163.

    Miss Bianca

    November 8, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    @FlipYrWhig: SOL (that would be “Snort Out Loud”)

    But seriously, what have you got against bats?

  164. 164.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    Military titles are slightly different than elected titles since you retire with a specific title. George Washington was known as “General Washington” after he left politics, not “President Washington.”

  165. 165.

    Redshift

    November 8, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    @WaterGirl: The Illinois Senate race isn’t in play. RCP poll average has Duckworth up by 13.

  166. 166.

    trollhattan

    November 8, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    @Shell:
    I’ll take “Dishes that go with Chianti” for a thousand, Alex.

  167. 167.

    Gindy51

    November 8, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    @Eugene in Eugene: USMCR hubby gets called Colonel every time he talks to them. He loves it since at home I am the General…

  168. 168.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Jason Sanford on Twitter. Link may DID fail again; FYWP

  169. 169.

    Miss Bianca

    November 8, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    @Mike J: But is there a taco truck?! (seriously, that is awesome).

    I seem to be using the word “seriously” a lot lately. Seriously.

  170. 170.

    David ?▶️?Blue Wall?▶️? Koch

    November 8, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    BWHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

    David Gergen just said on CNN, “the big sleeper story is the Latino vote, nobody saw this coming”.

    AHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA

    This IS CNN

  171. 171.

    Gindy51

    November 8, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    @WarMunchkin: His son did the same thing to his wife!

  172. 172.

    geg6

    November 8, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    I’m recording this show. I can’t help it. It’s irresistible. I plan to binge watch it over the Thanksgiving break.

  173. 173.

    Jeff Spender

    November 8, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    Nevada Judge laughed Trump out of court. Trump’s request denied.

    Who coulda sawed that comin’?

  174. 174.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    @Eugene in Eugene:

    You actually do get to keep your military title if you want.

    @Brachiator:

    Lots of people do things that are incorrect. Apostrophe use. Saying “could care less.” The fact that something is widely done does not make it correct.

  175. 175.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    @Brachiator:

    I felt great, even giddy, after I voted this morning, light as air. After looking forward to voting for so long and finally voting, it was like throwing off a heavy load that I’d been carrying around forever. I’m sure everyone who has voted feels the same way.

  176. 176.

    Miss Bianca

    November 8, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    @David ?▶️?Blue Wall?▶️? Koch: “Nobody saw this coming”?! Hellooo, CNN, are you finally taking calls from Univision?

  177. 177.

    WaterGirl

    November 8, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    @Roger Moore: Okay, I will go look for that. But what is different about the 7 races he has in his chart?

  178. 178.

    WereBear

    November 8, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Excellent point. Casablanca is one of those movies which easily triggers quoting.

  179. 179.

    Eugene in Eugene

    November 8, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    I thought that after he had been elected to the House, John Quincy Adams was referred to as “Mr. President.”

  180. 180.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    @Origuy:

    I don’t know why this is an elected position.

    For the same reason some places still elect their coroner: it used to be a much more important position, and they just haven’t bothered to change the rules and make it appointed.

  181. 181.

    Punchy

    November 8, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    @Peale: Generally, in public Colonel Sanders acted more like a Captain. However, in Private, he was a Major asshole, someone who advocated for Corporal punishment. So Petty.

  182. 182.

    Felonius Monk

    November 8, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    I voted around 1:30 PM ET. I was the only one voting at that particular time. Nobody in front of me and nobody behind me.

  183. 183.

    Lizzy L

    November 8, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    @David ?▶️?Blue Wall?▶️? Koch: Srsly? WTF planet does David Gergen live on? Oh, wait. It’s David Gergen: a man who has not ventured west of the Appalachians for 20 years.

  184. 184.

    dance around in your bones

    November 8, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    @Albert Z.: These songs are brilliant. Thank you!

    (and thank you, Pitchfork staffers!)

  185. 185.

    WereBear

    November 8, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    @Lizzy L: I LOL’d. No, they never see anything coming, because they never look.

  186. 186.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    @Jeff Spender:

    If Trump’s lawyers have any sense at all, they will get their paychecks up front from the chiseler before they agree to do the work and look like idiots in court.

  187. 187.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    @Jeff Spender:

    Jon Ralston
    ‏@RalstonReports
    DENIED: So basically Trump lawyers didn’t talk to SOS, didn’t do their due diligence, don’t, basically, have a clue.

    It’s really inexplicable to not talk to the Secretary of State. The election official. Who has plenty of lawyers and can tell you anything you want to know about state law and rules. Anyone can just call them.

  188. 188.

    Iowa Old Lady

    November 8, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    @David ?▶️?Blue Wall?▶️? Koch: Was he also surprised that women were voting?

  189. 189.

    PST

    November 8, 2016 at 3:29 pm

    @Mnemosyne: And, technically, you shouldn’t address someone by an official title they no longer hold, so it drives me nuts whenever people do that.

    It seems to me that I read something somewhere that as a courtesy you continue to address people by titles that can be held by many at once, like Major or Judge or Senator, but not titles that are held one at a time, like Mayor or Prime Minister.

  190. 190.

    Peale

    November 8, 2016 at 3:29 pm

    @Kay: Maybe the SoS decided to take the day off. Spend the day relaxing in Lake Tahoe or take the family to the Grand Canyon. You never know. She or He might have had a personal days to burn under the state’s “use it or lose it” policy.

  191. 191.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    But what is different about the 7 races he has in his chart?

    They’re actually close enough to be in serious doubt. The rest have one party with a minimum of a 6% lead, which is far enough out of hand that they can be treated as a 100% chance for the party in the lead when figuring the likely final configuration of the Senate.

  192. 192.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    November 8, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    @Miss Bianca:

    One friend and I found ourselves using literally (both literally and humorously) all the time and had to make a pact to stop ourselves from doing it.

  193. 193.

    Redshift

    November 8, 2016 at 3:33 pm

    @Roger Moore: Yeah, I believe his cutoff for competitiveness for states in the presidential race and for other contests is five percent or less.

  194. 194.

    Kay

    November 8, 2016 at 3:34 pm

    @Peale:

    and what’s with the suit the Trump lawyer is wearing? Shiny! :)

    One of the oddest things about Donald Trump is he looks WORSE than he could look. He could have normal hair and no fake tan and he could wear suits that fit. It’s so much effort and he looks worse! I bet no one can tell him because he’s such a big spoiled baby.

  195. 195.

    Redshift

    November 8, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    There’s a very loud flock of crows in the tree across the street from my house.

    What does this mean?

  196. 196.

    Punchy

    November 8, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    From this article….

    Polls show about 27 percent of Trump voters would not accept the results if their candidate lost,

    That number. Again. Forever. Amazing.

  197. 197.

    aarrgghh

    November 8, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    “Full Frontal’s Official Trump Thesaurus” (Full Frontal with Samantha Bee)

  198. 198.

    debit

    November 8, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    @Redshift: I’m sorry. Looks like you have a murder tree.

  199. 199.

    Lizzy L

    November 8, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    @Redshift: It’s the apocalypse. We’re all doomed. Have a nice day.

  200. 200.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 3:39 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady:

    Every election, I see reports of polls staying open until everyone in line has voted.

    and if that is what happened then Trump has no case.
    But if voters who were not in line at the scheduled closing time were allowed to vote, then Trump has a case, unless all voting sites did the same thing. [ Why anyone who wants to vote should be turned away is a question for another day.]

    As to maintaining records, there might not be records that distinguish when votes were cast relative to the closing time.

  201. 201.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 3:40 pm

    @bemused:

    I felt great, even giddy, after I voted this morning, light as air.

    Kinda like Scrooge the Morning after the Ghosts.

  202. 202.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    @Redshift:

    Yeah, I believe his cutoff for competitiveness for states in the presidential race and for other contests is five percent or less.

    My guess is it’s more based on a percent chance of one party winning. He’s basing his probabilities on a size of lead and standard error so that, for example, he give McGinty (2% +/- 0.5%) a better chance of winning than Cortez Masto (2% +/- 1.1%). The exact cutoff probably doesn’t matter, since all the races not in that table are solidly one way or the other. The one potential oddball is Louisiana, where there’s supposed to be a small chance the Republicans will split the vote enough ways for two Democrats will make it into the runoff.

  203. 203.

    gwangung

    November 8, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    @Kay: But so characteristic of the Trump team.

  204. 204.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    @PST: There was a time when almost any (male, yeah, I know) sports coach in the south was called “Colonel”
    or Kernel.

  205. 205.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    @Redshift:

    There’s a very loud flock of crows in the tree across the street from my house.

    What does this mean?

    You’re lucky it isn’t an even louder flock of parrots. HTH.

    ETA: Or possibly that Flock of Seagulls couldn’t make the gig.

  206. 206.

    Aleta

    November 8, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    @catclub: It’s been mentioned somewhere that the Nevada rules for early voting lines are different than for election day voting lines, and that the Trump lawyer did not seem to know this. Was informed by the judge, who then denied him. He also petitioned her to release to him the names of poll workers, which she absolutely refused to do.

  207. 207.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    a small chance the Republicans will split the vote enough ways for two Democrats [and only two Democrats] will make it into the runoff.

    We live in hope. That would be hilarious. I wonder how fast they repeal the law if it happens.

  208. 208.

    PST

    November 8, 2016 at 3:44 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): I’m watching in Ohio now. You need credentials to watch from inside the polling place, and to be credentialed you must be a resident. I’m an outside observer, which is claims cold, damp work this afternoon.

  209. 209.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    @Redshift:

    There’s a very loud flock of crows in the tree across the street from my house.

    What does this mean?

    Is your real name Tippi?

  210. 210.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    @Redshift: Usually it means there’s an eagle, hawk, or owl nearby.

  211. 211.

    Kelly

    November 8, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    Thanks to everyone for your commentary during the weirdest election year of my life. I’ve lurked here since sometime soon after Cole abandoned the Republicans. Seldom have much to add. Learn things regularly. I’m of for a nice walk in Cascade foothills past some waterfalls. It’s an unseasonably warm blue sky day here in the Willamette valley. May find a few chanterelles for dinner. I’ll be looking in this evening whilst the results roll in.

  212. 212.

    FlipYrWhig

    November 8, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    @Kay: From the Trump-Dr. Oz interview:

    OZ: When you look into the mirror, how old is the person you are looking at? What do you see?

    TRUMP: I would say I see a person that’s 35 years old.

  213. 213.

    Mary G

    November 8, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    This comment on Scalzi’s blog cracked me up:

    Mechalith says:

    NOVEMBER 8, 2016 AT 10:09 AM

    Voted two weeks ago via mail (thank you Oregon). Now it’s just a nerve wracking 18 hours or so until we know if enough of our nation has collectively shouted ‘get thee behind me Spraytan.’

  214. 214.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 3:47 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Lots of people do things that are incorrect.

    Correct/incorrect are too hard to apply to etiquette and much social convention, which changes rapidly. What are the proper emoji to use for the president?

    The fact that something is widely done does not make it correct.

    Actually, with respect to language, particularly English, wide usage tends to make it correct over time.

    For example, most supermarkets have a line for, say, “8 items or less.” Should be “8 items or fewer.” Attempts to correct this are futile.

  215. 215.

    Jeffro

    November 8, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: And Brian Sandoval too

  216. 216.

    dmsilev

    November 8, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    @Redshift:

    There’s a very loud flock of crows in the tree across the street from my house.

    What does this mean?

    Was it a flock, or was it ….murder?

  217. 217.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    @WarMunchkin:

    President Rodhammer

    Amazing porn name. Huge.

  218. 218.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    @catclub:
    As I understand it, they have a jungle primary; everyone gets tossed in one pool, and the top two get into the runoff. In that kind of election, it pays to have exactly two candidates from your party running. Fewer and the other party is guaranteed to get a candidate into the runoff; more and you risk splitting the vote and letting the other party in. The Democrats have managed to limit themselves to two real candidates, while the Republicans have 5. There’s a real chance the Republicans will manage to screw themselves, either by letting the two Democrats into the runoff or by picking somebody unelectable as their candidate.

  219. 219.

    Frankensteinbeck

    November 8, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    @Barbara:
    And no one will care, and the transfer of power will continue as if he had conceded. I actually think he’ll concede, and it will be two sentences of pre-prepared graciousness followed by vomiting bile.

  220. 220.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    @Brachiator: I learned something about that. “Normalcy” was coined by Woodrow Wilson as a mis-statement of “normality”. He was only a college professor and President of Princeton U.

  221. 221.

    Gelfling 545

    November 8, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    @scav: My knives are Cutco whose factory is a couple of hours from where I live. They will take them back for sharpening any time for only postage costs and will repair or replace forever. I would save my Cutco chef’s knife if the house were on fire.

  222. 222.

    gogol's wife

    November 8, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    @Albert Z.:

    That’s the best “Duetto buffo di due gatti” I’ve ever heard!

  223. 223.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    @Brachiator:

    Should be “8 items or fewer.”

    If you really want to nitpick, it should probably be “8 or fewer items”.

  224. 224.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 3:55 pm

    @PST: I’m nice and warm, because I have credentials. The location manager even offered to move the table where she installed me away from the window where it’s chilly. That’s probably not very nice of me to tell you, since you’re out in the cold. Thanks for coming to OH and working in cold rain.

  225. 225.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    November 8, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    Oh BTW there is a new live feed of the Susan B. Anthony site and people are still streaming by.

    https://www.facebook.com/News8WROC/videos/10155359894014386/?hc_location=ufi

  226. 226.

    Mnemosyne

    November 8, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    @Brachiator:

    For example, most supermarkets have a line for, say, “8 items or less.” Should be “8 items or fewer.” Attempts to correct this are futile.

    Interestingly, the Pavilions that’s on my commute home just re-signed everything (and moved things around, goddamnit) and those lanes now say “10 Items or Fewer.” Big Grammar must have gotten to them!

  227. 227.

    aarrgghh

    November 8, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    trump’s concession speech will be a one hour infomercial for trump tv which he’ll sign off with:

    “crooked hillary won — period. ok? i said it. goodnight.”

  228. 228.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 3:57 pm

    @catclub:

    “Normalcy” was coined by Woodrow Wilson

    Are you sure about that? I thought it was coined by Warren Harding, who used it in his campaign to suggest how much people hated life under Wilson, e.g. incredibly restrictive wartime economics, Red Summer, etc. Also, too, Wikipedia claims it was actually found in dictionaries going back to the mid 19th century.

  229. 229.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    @Peale:

    But just to be clear, Colonel Sanders was properly addressed as Colonel.

    And he was a 5 finger licking colonel.

    ETA: I thought it was some self-applied title, but it turns out that Sanders was commissioned as a Kentucky Colonel in 1935.

    Kentucky colonel is the highest title of honor bestowed by the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Commissions for Kentucky colonels are given by the governor and the secretary of state to individuals in recognition of noteworthy accomplishments and outstanding service to a community, state or the nation. The sitting governor of the Commonwealth of Kentucky bestows the honor of a colonel’s commission, by issuance of letters patent.

    I suppose that during a state of war, Sanders could lead some chickenshit operation.

  230. 230.

    Tarragon

    November 8, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    @Redshift:
    Murder

  231. 231.

    Cermet

    November 8, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    The title “Colonel” was something anyone in the South, many years ago, could adopt and add to their name; many such “colonels’ where created in that manner – see KFC (and post before me: lol.) It does not necessarily mean anything. For Officers, the tradition is that Full Colonels and above in military rank can keep their titles upon retirement.

  232. 232.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 8, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    In the voting booth today it said “8 items or Führer.”

  233. 233.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Interestingly, the Pavilions that’s on my commute home just re-signed everything (and moved things around, goddamnit) and those lanes now say “10 Items or Fewer.” Big Grammar must have gotten to them!

    I noticed this at my local Vons/Pavillions as well. So far, the only place I’ve ever noticed it used correctly.

  234. 234.

    PST

    November 8, 2016 at 4:03 pm

    @catclub: @PST: There was a time when almost any (male, yeah, I know) sports coach in the south was called “Colonel” or Kernel.

    And then there was Colonel Tom Parker.

  235. 235.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 8, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    @Roger Moore: I thought normalcy was 261.6 Hz

    Oh that’s middle C

  236. 236.

    Original Lee

    November 8, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    @Aleta: I can hardly wait. I need a couple of new pantsuits.

  237. 237.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    @catclub:

    I learned something about that. “Normalcy” was coined by Woodrow Wilson as a mis-statement of “normality”. He was only a college professor and President of Princeton U.

    Funny. You often hear about an “abnormality,” but not often a “normality.” And yeah, you do read and hear “normalcy.”

    I prefer Hi-C to normalcy, myself.

  238. 238.

    WereBear

    November 8, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    We have another couple over tonight, the same close friends we celebrated President Obama with in 2008. Now, I have a big bottle of champagne, but if we are all to polish it off and still go to work in the morning, I hope we can see victory coming a long ways away.

  239. 239.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    November 8, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    @Brachiator: Beat you to it

  240. 240.

    bemused

    November 8, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    @Brachiator:

    I was thinking of a very old tv cartoon dog that would float up in the air when happy but I don’t think it was Muttley or Snuffles.

  241. 241.

    JCJ

    November 8, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    @dmsilev:

    @Redshift:
    There’s a very loud flock of crows in the tree across the street from my house.
    What does this mean?

    Was it a flock, or was it ….murder?

    Well done! I can just hear the dramatic intonation in your voice!

  242. 242.

    PST

    November 8, 2016 at 4:09 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): If your real name is Lauren, please bring me out one of these donuts.

  243. 243.

    scav

    November 8, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    @Brachiator: Stephen Fry is a Kentucky Colonel. So, apparently, was Muhammed Ali, but I think I’ll still follow Col. Fry into any battle, rather than Col. Deep-fried.

    Other odd detail. Using only about two or three marriages and a very extended family, I can connect Obama to the Deep-fried one.

  244. 244.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    @Cermet:

    For Officers, the tradition is that Full Colonels and above in military rank can keep their titles upon retirement.

    I was going to ask “what’s a half a colonel.”

    But quickly found:

    Colonels are sometimes referred to (but not addressed as) full colonels, bird colonels, or full bird colonels because lieutenant colonels are also referred to and addressed in correspondence as “colonel.” Referring to an “O6”, a colonel’s pay grade, also may differentiate colonels and lieutenant colonels.

    And of course, one ear of corn contains roughly 800 kernels.

  245. 245.

    aarrgghh

    November 8, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    @bemused:

    definitely snuffles, via quick draw mcgraw.

  246. 246.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    @bemused:

    I was thinking of a very old tv cartoon dog that would float up in the air when happy but I don’t think it was Muttley or Snuffles.

    Definitely Snuffles.

    ETA: @aarrgghh
    Great minds thinking alike.

  247. 247.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    @PST: If it were, I would.

  248. 248.

    Poopyman

    November 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    @WereBear:

    Now, I have a big bottle of champagne, but if we are all to polish it off and still go to work in the morning,

    Make America grape again!

  249. 249.

    dance around in your bones

    November 8, 2016 at 4:22 pm

    @Redshift: At least it isn’t a flock of seagulls (Pulp Fiction style)

  250. 250.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    November 8, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    @Roger Moore: Now you’ve done and gone and brought up the “H” word.

  251. 251.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    Beat you to it

    Yes, you did!

    Even though I was thinking of the fruit drink Hi-C.

  252. 252.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    November 8, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I’m hoping that people were just trying to beat the heat, I’m getting ready to head out in a few minutes and it’s 96 degrees outside the cave(I’ll be taking a bottle of water with me).

    The NYT refers to everyone as Mr. and Mrs., though they’ll generally say President Obama in the first reference and after that say Mr. Obama. IIRC, the Economist always just says Mr. or Mrs.

  253. 253.

    Bobby D

    November 8, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    @Eugene in Eugene: That was my preference, until they came out with the Wusthof Classic Ikon series. Same knives, just a slightly more ergonomic handle. The regular classic handles were pretty squared off at/around the edges of the handle, the ikon classic has a nicely rounded handle. Best feeling knife I own, and I started replacing my older wusthof classics with the ikons. I really only use 3 of them regularly, the 3″ and 4″ paring knives and the 7″ santoku. The chef’s comes out occasionally for heavy/bone laden cuts. Sets of knives is a waste of money for most people. I got by for 20 years with nothing more than a 4″ utility knife and a shorty 6″ chef’s, one cast iron skillet and one 2qt pot w/lid.

  254. 254.

    Mike J

    November 8, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    @Brachiator: Cabinet secretaries (current and former) are given the same military courtesy as a 4 star. link

  255. 255.

    Roger Moore

    November 8, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    Now you’ve done and gone and brought up the “H” word.

    Sorry. It was the only way I thought I could get Mnem to pay attention.

  256. 256.

    catclub

    November 8, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    @Roger Moore: You are probably right. I really only caught that it was around 1920.

  257. 257.

    GregB

    November 8, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    It seems Boo Radley Assange must be realizing that he shit-canned hus credibility by pulling for Trump and is now trying to salvage his credibility from the dumpster.

    Sorry Jules. There’s no unfucking that chicken.

  258. 258.

    The Lodger

    November 8, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    @Brachiator: And, of course, five-sevenths of a colonel is a colon.
    Happy to help.

  259. 259.

    MisterForkbeard

    November 8, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    @GregHow do you mean? Is he trying to walk things back?

  260. 260.

    Brachiator

    November 8, 2016 at 5:06 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: BTW, I saw your great photo of the Bradbury Building earlier.

    Is the Million Dollar Theater still across the street? Great photos there as well.

    Love the Bradbury. Used in a couple of the greatest science fiction works of all time, the movie Blade Runner and the Outer Limits episode, “Demon with a Glass Hand.”

    I think the Million Dollar Theater appears in Blade Runner as well.

  261. 261.

    aarrgghh

    November 8, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    @brachiator:

    Great minds thinking alike.

    or at least 70s-cartoon-addled, if not great …

  262. 262.

    bemused senior

    November 8, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    @Origuy: it is for Half Moon Bay, which is on the San Mateo Pacific coastline.

  263. 263.

    Jacel

    November 8, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    @redshirt: An early SNL parody commercial had Wonder using some brand of camera.

  264. 264.

    GrandJury

    November 8, 2016 at 6:36 pm

    @MisterForkbeard:

    This might have something to do with it. Sounds to me like the Ecuadorian embassy is getting fed up with him.

    Assange to be questioned over rape charges.

  265. 265.

    Jacel

    November 8, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    @imonlylurking: There will also be trucks selling pantsuits on every corner.

  266. 266.

    Jacel

    November 8, 2016 at 6:53 pm

    @Mnemosyne: My wife and I went to our California polling place at 2:00, figuring it to be a relative dead time. It was reported slower then, but there were lots of people there for all three precincts that vote at that school, more than I’ve seen in a typical election’s morning or evening. We generally use voting machines involving a dial, a system that seems rather well designed for usability and accountability. However, there were already people using the machines assigned to our precinct, so we were given paper ballots to fill out immediately rather than wait for a machine to be available.

  267. 267.

    Jacel

    November 8, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    @Origuy: San Mateo County operates two marinas — one on the coast and one on the bay. I’ve become accustomed to the Harbor Master and the board members being on the ballot. The local Sierra Club makes a point of recommending candidates for those offices.

  268. 268.

    BruceJ

    November 8, 2016 at 7:34 pm

    @sharculese: I cannot wait for the ‘Brownies’ episode!

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