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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Black Friday

Black Friday

by John Cole|  November 25, 20161:37 pm| 141 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Open Threads

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ATTN: INTROVERTS

YOU'VE FULFILLED YOUR PEOPLE/FAMILY OBLIGATIONS UNTIL 10 AM 25 DECEMBER. YOU MAY EXHALE AND DIAL DOWN THE MORPHINE DRIP.

— Everything Sucks (@Johngcole) November 25, 2016

Do any of you participate in it? I’ve honestly never seen the attraction. Driving to some place in hellish traffic (also calculate the number of impaired drivers because, well, Holidays) to a place that is going to be ABSOLUTELY jam-packed with people to be waited on by people who would rather be doing ANYTHING but this just sounds horrible. It will be hot and sweaty and people will stink, people are probably there with their family by birth and not by choice so everyone is grumpy, I mean, just fuck that.

I did peruse Amazon to see if anything I needed for the house was available (reminder- shop through amazon by clicking through the graphic link above and you send fat loots to me and the pets), and there was nothing. I also checked Duluth and they have 30% off and free shipping, so I bought some new boxers and some new long sleeve shirts, and I only spent about 80 bucks, so that was good. I might check the steam store to see if anything on my wishlist is on sale. But other than thast, I don’t intend to do any shopping or anything like that.

In other news, I spent an hour or so sitting in the living room enjoying the quiet (Carlos and Christion finally got an apartment and moved out), so my house is just me for the first time in four years of various roommates). And when I say sitting, I mean just that. I was sitting there doing nothing. No tv, no music, no book, no laptop. Just sitting. I like doing that. The only other time I get quiet like that to just think is when I am driving, because I never have the radio on anymore when I drive. I like to just focus on the driving and not think about things unless something interesting pops into my head. It’s nice, but I am also aware of how many people pay no attention to what they are doing when they drive. I wonder how many accidents I have avoided just because I was actually paying attention.

At any rate, I was just sitting there, and Steve came over and jumped up on my lap facing me and just looked at me and sat there. And I sat and pet him (he is so gloriously soft- softer than anything else I have ever touched except maybe Tunch’s big belly), and we sat there for a good bit. I just slowly pet him and he looked at me and winked every now and then, and I just talked quietly saying “You are just such a good boy. Such a magnificent beast. You’re just splendid in every way. How did you get so perfect?” And we sat like that for an hour, him purring and slightly moving his head so I could rub and scratch the portions he wanted itched, every now and then rubbing his whiskers on my arm and letting me feel a little bit of his fangs (I love that!).

And for the first time in a long, long, time, everything seemed like it was going to be ok.

I think I am going to go shower and maybe go to the grocery and make Mexican for dinner.

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Reader Interactions

141Comments

  1. 1.

    burnspbesq

    November 25, 2016 at 1:40 pm

    Black Friday “shopping list:”

    ACLU
    Sierra Club
    NRDC
    SPLC
    Lambda Legal

  2. 2.

    Major Major Major Major

    November 25, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    When black friday comes
    I’m gonna dig myself a hole
    I’m gonna lay down in it til I satisfy my soul

    Gonna let the world pass by me
    The Archbishop’s gonna sanctify me
    And if he don’t come across
    I’m gonna let it roll

    When Black Friday comes
    I’m gonna stake my claim
    I guess I’ll change my name

  3. 3.

    rikyrah

    November 25, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Dr. Yasmin ✔ @DoctorYasmin
    3 Black men walk into a store.

    They ask for cheese.

    The staff freak out, lock themselves in a room & call the cops

  4. 4.

    jacy

    November 25, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Quiet is underrated. I like being in my office — no TV, no music, just me and whichever dogs and cats decided to hang out. I think the world would be a finer place if everybody unplugged for a bit every day.

  5. 5.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Nice list! Mine is ACLU, SPLC, Planned Parenthood, and The Heifer Project (Heifer International).

    Oh, and the Metropolitan Opera.

  6. 6.

    rikyrah

    November 25, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    done my Black Friday shopping. All hair stuff.
    Natural hair folks.
    Soultanicals – 50% off everything and free shipping
    Camille Rose -25% off everything
    Shea Moisture -30% off everything (hair, bath, etc) and free shipping

  7. 7.

    Chip Daniels

    November 25, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    On Black Friday I’m like a dog on July 4.

  8. 8.

    Mary G

    November 25, 2016 at 1:47 pm

    I’ve never done Black Friday since I get claustrophobic in big crowds. I went the day after Christmas when I was 13 or so and a lady gave me a black eye with her elbow trying to get to a table with a couple of hundred sweaters on it ahead of another lady, so I have avoided sales ever since.

  9. 9.

    burnspbesq

    November 25, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    @rikyrah:

    the employee who called the police will be interviewed and possibly retrained.

    No idea what to say in response to that. None at all.

  10. 10.

    rikyrah

    November 25, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    this is the essence of ‘rolled upon the wrong one.’

    Jeff Yang ✔ @originalspin
    Chinese student Sidney Chan kicked London harasser in face twice, broke his eye socket after being ‘called a chink.

  11. 11.

    GxB

    November 25, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    @rikyrah: Worst Monty Python skit reboot ever.

  12. 12.

    Hovercraft

    November 25, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    As an almost 20 year veteran of retail, I can attest to the fact that today is a hell surpassed only by the day after Christmas. People today tend to be nasty and extremely impatient, it’s as if they’ve taken all that repressed aggression they tamped down yesterday, and are just itching to let it out on everyone they encounter today. So glad I’m no longer in retail. Instead we just finished decorating the tree, I’m just grateful they didn’t wake me up at 7 to do it.

  13. 13.

    aimai

    November 25, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    @rikyrah: Oh for fuck’s sake.

  14. 14.

    germy

    November 25, 2016 at 1:58 pm

    Disappointed to see this

    Hillary Clinton seized the opportunity presented by the Trump-generated split in the GOP to create a ruling class consensus and headquarters in her own campaign tent. It was the ultimate betrayal, the incubator of a thoroughly corporatized Democratic Party — an undertaker of social democracy. Instead, the White Deplorables derailed her, as they had earlier derailed the Republican corporate establishment.

    The Trump regime has no fix for the ills of late stage capitalism that have immiserated both the triumphant Deplorables and the darker folks they scapegoat, and whom they can be counted on to harass, repress and deport. Neither does the Democratic Party, whose next administration, had it not been still-born, would have served the interests of the One Percent even more dependably than did Obama.

    Leave Hillary’s nasty tent in the dirt, where it lies. The people need vibrant social movements that will produce new leadership in struggle and shape the parties of the future.

  15. 15.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    As for Black Friday, there is no way you’d find me anywhere close to a mall, a big box store, or any other retail outlet. I pretty much hate shopping at the best of times (except bookstores), hate crowds under any circumstances, and have almost no use for commercialized Christmas. So this day was designed for people like me to be antisocial.

    Which is what I am in the process of doing, right this very minute.

  16. 16.

    eldorado

    November 25, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    could not possibly love this tweet more

  17. 17.

    aimai

    November 25, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    We are watching The Lord of the Rings. Its oddly comforting. Gandalf tells Frodo everyone feels awful about the horrible time they are living in, but all you have to worry about is what you are going to do next. Its Tolkein’s version of Rabbi Tarfon’s “Its not up to you to complete the task, neither may you desist from it” or an answer to Tolstoy’s question: “What shall we do, and how shall we live?”

    Its very peaceful here right now–wish I had a cat. Otherwise I have to go back to work on my school work, having taken one day off for T’day between a midterm and now more papers.

  18. 18.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 25, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    I’m thinking more “Don’t Take Me Alive.”

    Agents of the law
    luckless pedestrians
    I know you’re out there
    with rage in your eyes and your megaphones

    But that’s maybe politics and not shopping. Black Friday in either case.

  19. 19.

    InternetDragons

    November 25, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    I decided a couple of years ago I wouldn’t patronize any stores that open on Thanksgiving, and the only nod I give to Black Friday is some online shopping.

    As for the rest, I like REI’s approach. If you click on their website, you get a beautiful image of mountains, with the caption:

    “#OptOutside.
    WE’RE OUTSIDE TODAY.
    All 12.287 REI employees are outside enjoying a day off. Our stores are closed. Any online orders will begin processing tomorrow. Today is about play – will you go out with us? Join us outside.”

    So I’m checking Amazon for a new stationary bike and maybe a new weight bench, as I think I’ll let my gym membership go by without renewing this time. I’m reasonably certain I have enough discipline baked into my workout routine that I can successfully transition to home workouts. We’ll see.

    As weird as it may sound, I feel even more motivated since the election to stay in reasonably good physical condition. Not sure I can explain why, but no matter…as an older woman, keeping my weight low and working on strength and flexibility is important no matter what! The election results are just an extra push.

    After that, a long walk, some playtime with the pets, some grocery shopping, and maybe a couple of hours of Civilization 6.

    I hear there’s some growing pushback against the ‘Open on Thanksgiving’ businesses and the general insanity of Black Friday in brick-and-mortar stores, but I have no optimism that things will change. There’s still too much $$ to be made.

  20. 20.

    EBT

    November 25, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    I slept out for a video game console on release night once, that was as close as I will ever get to that much people at once again. Today is going to be having two friends over from The Bay and the three of us are going to play Dungeons and Dragons remotely as is our usual Friday way.

  21. 21.

    John Revolta

    November 25, 2016 at 2:02 pm

    Hey everybody! All Trump campaign items are 30% off at the Trump Online Store!

    “President-elect Trump loves a great deal,” a promotional email said.

    I’m gonna get the $149 silver campaign hat tree ornament! WOW!!

  22. 22.

    aimai

    November 25, 2016 at 2:05 pm

    @germy: I’ve always disliked Chauncy de Vega’s commentary. This takes the cake for obscenely stupid.

  23. 23.

    albertZ

    November 25, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    My daughters spent Thanksgiving with their mom and her family. I respectfully declined an invitation from my brother and spent Thanksgiving alone with the exception of my Jack Russell. And, in the words of Peter Gibbons from Office Space: “I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.”

  24. 24.

    germy

    November 25, 2016 at 2:07 pm

    @aimai: It’s the “heighten the contradictions” logic, apparently.

  25. 25.

    Mike R

    November 25, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    @aimai: Agree completely, my first thought was nothing like cheering for misery being heaped on your fellow citizens.

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    @germy: What disappoints you about it?

  27. 27.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    @John Revolta:

    campaign items are 30% off at the Trump Online Store!

    “President-elect Trump loves a great deal,” a promotional email said.

    I’m sure I’ve said it before, and if you* think it makes me sound like an elitist you* can bite me, but at some level what bothers me most about Trump is not that he’s a racist, xenophobic, mysogynistic, fascistic, narcissistic pussy-grabbing orange shitgibbon — no, what bothers me most about him is that’s he’s Just Plain VULGAR. And he’s ladling his vulgarity over this entire country.

    *The generic “you,” not you, John Revolta.

  28. 28.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    I refuse to participate in Black Friday. I hate crowds of shoppers. (I am fine with crowds of people in urban areas in scenarios like “walking down the street in a straight line” and “crammed into subway cars”, but shoppers are the WORST.) one year, I had to go to Target on Black Friday, just to pick up a prescription. I waited until later in the day, like 4pm, so by the time I got there, the crowds had dissipated, but the store looked like it had been completely destroyed by a stampede of wild animals.

    Having said that, I did do some online shopping yesterday. Got some work clothes and some small gifts. I am wanting to go paperless, so I have been looking for a good document scanner at a reasonable price. We may get Spawn the Elder a Chromebook for her birthday. Both of my Spawns have birthdays the week before Xmas, so if I get my shit together, I can buy them some gifts far enough in advance that I can do the free shipping and they are still here in advance.

  29. 29.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 2:11 pm

    @germy: The part you quote is actually from Black Agenda Report, for anyone who did not click through.

  30. 30.

    Pogonip

    November 25, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    I did the-day-after-Thanksgiving once, about 20 years ago. I went to Joann. At 0530 I was lined up with 20 or so NWL’s, it wasn’t scary or aggressive even when the doors opened, but I thought “The sun’s not even up! What are we doing here?”

  31. 31.

    Major Major Major Major

    November 25, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    @Steeplejack (tablet): As long as we’re being optimistic, why not With A Gun?

    I could be wrong but I have seen your face before
    You were the man that I saw running from his door
    You owed him money but you gave him something more
    With a gun

  32. 32.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I said it, too: possibly his worst quality is just horrible taste. All that money, and he builds the tackiest, gauche-est shit I have ever seen—and the real money of New York also hunks he is super-gross. No meaningful architecture, no tasteful interiors. John Mulaney said that Trump is “a hobo’s idea of what a rich man is like”, and I have never heard a better description.

  33. 33.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 25, 2016 at 2:13 pm

    @rikyrah: Jesus g*d that is 17 kinds of fucked up. If anyone doubted that VA is still the land o’ Dixie: Exhibit A. Crossing CVS of my list of places I’ll shop, unless and until CVS apologizes for employing idiots.

    @Cole: It’s nice to know Christion and Carlos have a place of theirs now! And, how is Shawn these days?

  34. 34.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 2:14 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: He’s gross. His family is gross. Everything about this makes me feel gross.

  35. 35.

    oldster

    November 25, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    Cole, I’m really glad you got some quality time with your cat.

    But I swear, when I read your intro to it,

    “And when I say sitting, I mean just that. I was sitting there doing nothing. No tv, no music, no book, no laptop. Just sitting. I like doing that. ”

    Then I was *certain* something godawful hilariously terrible was about to happen to you.

    Roof cave-in, meteor strike, all four pets have explosive diarrhea, something.

    When it turned out you just got to sit there and pet your cat–well, I was surprised!

    And pleased for you both, of course.

  36. 36.

    gogol's wife

    November 25, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Yeah. I vary between TERROR and DISGUST and SHEER EMBARRASSMENT.

  37. 37.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    @aimai:

    I don’t like him either, but in the interests of accuracy the highlighted quote in germy’s comment was by Glen Ford (whom I do not know — and don’t care to), not Chauncey.

  38. 38.

    Betty Cracker

    November 25, 2016 at 2:17 pm

    @germy: He’s always been an overrated gasbag, IMO. Like Greenwald, he’s right about some things and is an obtuse, self-congratulatory ass on other issues.

    @SiubhanDuinne: (Emily Latila voice) — Never mind!

  39. 39.

    ET

    November 25, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    There really is nothing better than sitting there petting your furry friend. Particularly as an antidote to Christmas shopping annoyances and political fears.

  40. 40.

    Shell

    November 25, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Oh Steve. That cat is just a tub-of-love.

    Black Friday? Ugh. Lining up at 5AM to get a few bucks off some made in China crap? No thankee. And then some years of stories of people getting hurt in the first mad rush. Even less attractive.
    Some stores are now advertising a whole week of Black Friday prices. So whats the point?

  41. 41.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Trump is “a hobo’s idea of what a rich man is like”

    Perfect!

  42. 42.

    opiejeanne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    @germy: What the fuck is that?

  43. 43.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    @Betty Cracker:

    ;-)

  44. 44.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Noted.

  45. 45.

    Miss Bianca

    November 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Well, 69 orders over Thanksgiving on Amazon for my little store…and UPS and Conway are apparently not picking up at any of the warehouses today – and the warehouses are operating on skeleton staffing today as well – so stuff that people ordered on Wednesday isn’t going out till Monday. Am I pissed? Yeah, a bit. If I’d realized all this a little earlier, I would have taken all our listings down on Tueday night and and had myself a nice weekend!

  46. 46.

    opiejeanne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    @aimai: We just finished watching Lord of the Rings on Tuesday night, and those words of Gandalf have been used recently on Twitter. That’s probably why I decided to watch it again.

  47. 47.

    burnspbesq

    November 25, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Outsourcing my response to de Vega to Charles Blow

  48. 48.

    Starfish

    November 25, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    I have participated in the past, but most recently I have noticed that a lot of stores bring in low quality clothing items to satisfy the consumer’s need for deals during this period.

    The only things that look tempting are a discounted online class and some expensive beauty something or other by a small company.

  49. 49.

    Citizen_X

    November 25, 2016 at 2:26 pm

    @germy: Jesus, what an idiot. Yeah, the shorter is “Nach Trump, uns,” but what a complete, imaginary caricature of Clinton’s campaign. If he’s so far off from reality (and so nonchalant about people’s suffering), how is ever going to recognize those “vibrant social movements” he imagines?

  50. 50.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 25, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    And he’s ladling his vulgarity [. . .].

    Just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  51. 51.

    laura

    November 25, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    You’d need a court order, a toe-chain and a stun gun to get me into a retailer on Black Friday. Exceptions for services have been made however.
    Just finished the post dinner serious wash up and am checking in while enjoying a cold turkey and lettuce sammich a deviled egg and dibby bit of cranberry conserve.
    Then I’ll wake the weinie dog and go for a long walk and hope to catch up to the sandman on the way home and sail the couch for the afternoon.

  52. 52.

    jeffreyw

    November 25, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    Black Friday Sammich
    I had a notion to reupholster some kitchen chairs. Bought some foam and vinyl faux leather and immediately discovered my stapler wasn’t worth a dam. I gifted myself a pneumatic staple gun and bought a little compressor to run it. Then I remembered that New Yankee Woodshop guy and his pop-pop-pop brad gun so I added one of those.

  53. 53.

    ruckus

    November 25, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    @rikyrah:
    They really would have freaked out if they’d have been with me over the last couple of days.

  54. 54.

    divF

    November 25, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    @jeffreyw:

    New Yankee Woodshop guy

    Madame is a huge fan of his. In fact, I’ve long suspected that if she ever left me for another man, it would be him.

  55. 55.

    Miss Bianca

    November 25, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    @Citizen_X: I keep thinking only white people can afford to be this clueless. It gives me no consolation to be proved wrong.

  56. 56.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    November 25, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    I’m at work, so it’s not really an issue for me (burned all my PTO over the summer).

    I’m a little-a atheist, and I think Christmas has become too secular and commercialized. There’s just something fundamentally wrong with celebrating the birth of Christ by getting into fistfights over bits of brightly colored plastic and maxing out your credit cards.

  57. 57.

    Major Major Major Major

    November 25, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    @Betty Cracker: I discount anybody who says “late-stage capitalism.”

  58. 58.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    @laura:

    Then I’ll wake the weinie dog and go for a long walk

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  59. 59.

    ThresherK

    November 25, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    @GxB: ^This is why I come here.

  60. 60.

    divF

    November 25, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: And prose that reads like communiques from the revolutionary vanguard.

  61. 61.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: I enjoyed it when they used forms of neoliberal at least twice when it’s clear they have no idea what it means.
    If they are truly against what neoliberalism actually is then in the words of The Joker, Trump says “Wait’ll they get a load of me!”

  62. 62.

    Major Major Major Major

    November 25, 2016 at 2:43 pm

    @laura:

    You’d need a court order, a toe-chain and a stun gun to get me into a retailer on Black Friday.

    Well, we’ll soon have a president who has those on demand. Remember ‘go shopping’? Imagine if it was mandatory.

    ETA: yes, I know that isn’t going to happen.

  63. 63.

    ruckus

    November 25, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    @Suzanne:
    Yes, the asshole elect is exactly as described. But I can’t leave out the rest of your description. Being the most tasteless human impersonator is bad enough but all the other issues really do outweigh that.

  64. 64.

    hovercraft

    November 25, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    @rikyrah:

    3 Black men walk into a store.

    They ask for cheese.

    There’s the problem right there, bad enough they’re blah, but to travel as a pack, they must be a “gang” of blah men intent on robbing the store.
    I guess the ‘good’ news is that they only called the police on them, and that the police didn’t come in guns blazing. That I can find a ‘bright’ spot in this is so sad.

  65. 65.

    Formerly disgruntled Clinton supporter

    November 25, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Been lurking and nursing my political wounds…

    Shopping list: ACLU, Planned Parenthood, Mercy Corps, local food bank, TBD Oregon enviro group, TBD national Democratic political donation (ideas?)

    Watching Harry Potter movies 5-6-7/8. In the middle of Half-Blood Prince.

    This is disturbing and helps explain Trump’s success despite lack of media buys (in addition to 24 hr coverage on cable tv). Washington Post

    “The way that this propaganda apparatus supported Trump was equivalent to some massive amount of a media buy,” said the executive director of PropOrNot, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to avoid being targeted by Russia’s legions of skilled hackers. “It was like Russia was running a super PAC for Trump’s campaign. . . . It worked.”

  66. 66.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    @ruckus: I know, I know.

    The trashiness of Mr. Trump is a minor failing, all things considered, and yet it still bothers the crap out of me.

  67. 67.

    HinTN

    November 25, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    @Grumpy Code Monkey: Amen, brother CM.

  68. 68.

    Keith G

    November 25, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    Yes, everything is going to be some version of okay – not as good as it might have been, but most days will register as ‘okay”. nonetheless.

  69. 69.

    Kristine

    November 25, 2016 at 2:56 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    no, what bothers me most about him is that’s he’s Just Plain VULGAR.

    His rank incompetence bothers me the most, but this is definitely second. No class. No bearing. No gravitas. He’s an embarrassment, unfit to represent my country, dammit.

  70. 70.

    Major Major Major Major

    November 25, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    Y’all ought to be including LGBT suicide & crisis groups like the Trevor Project on your lists.

  71. 71.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 2:57 pm

    @Suzanne: It’s still bewildering and disgusting to me that he is so badly dressed all the time. Yeah, not a crime against nature like the defunding of NASA. But damn.

  72. 72.

    GregB

    November 25, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    Jesus weeps when real Americans don’t shop in honor of his birthday.

  73. 73.

    Kristine

    November 25, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    @jeffreyw: Is reupholstery difficult? I salvaged some chairs from various alleys over the last year, and want to repair/refinish/reupholster. I will have to have a real carpenter fashion the replacement pieces, but I wanted to do as much myself as possible. Do you ever use cloth/canvas–I assume that requires a sewing machine?

  74. 74.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    @Corner Stone: I know. If I have to look at a picture of the bastard daily for the next four years, then the least he could do is stop wearing those flashy suits. So gross.

    This kind of remind me of John’s end tables. Or socks with sandals.

  75. 75.

    ruckus

    November 25, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    @Suzanne:
    EVERYTHING about the tasteless human impersonator bothers me. EVERYTHING. He has not one redeeming trait. A complete waste of protoplasm.

  76. 76.

    HinTN

    November 25, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    @burnspbesq: Well, that’s poetry in a declaration of war.

  77. 77.

    Diana

    November 25, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    @Hovercraft: This. You can’t go after family, so you bottle it in until you find someone you can go after. And in late stage capitalism, that’s anyone who has to work for a living.

  78. 78.

    Kristine

    November 25, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    @Formerly disgruntled Clinton supporter:

    TBD national Democratic political donation (ideas?)

    I set up a monthly donation to the DLCC, which works at the state level.

  79. 79.

    ThresherK

    November 25, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    @Kristine: The trope of the ruler’s double (king, president…) is a venerable way to tell a story about a powerful jerkass who is incapacitated, and Learns A Lesson after his inner circle replace him with a real-world guy. Is there a movie in this genre which has someone nearly as obnoxious as Trump as the “switch-in”?

  80. 80.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:04 pm

    @ruckus: I feel like the dude would cover the walls of the White House with Thomas Kinkade and Nagel prints. Signed and numbered, of course.

  81. 81.

    rikyrah

    November 25, 2016 at 3:05 pm

    @John Revolta:

    I’m gonna get the $149 silver campaign hat tree ornament! WOW!!

    did you read the reviews on Amazon?

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA H AH HA HA

  82. 82.

    opiejeanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    @Corner Stone: I thought it was the bullet-proof vest that was making his jackets hang all wrong.

  83. 83.

    Poopyman

    November 25, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    My only shopping today is only from necessity. I went to the locally-owned lawn tractor place to get a new battery for my tractor. I was the only customer there, and they seemed happy to see me. It’s a place I go maybe 2-3 times a year, so that was a nice visit.

    And once the thing is fully charged I’ll install it and grind up the last of the leaves and be FINISHED. At least until the snow comes.

  84. 84.

    rikyrah

    November 25, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    @germy:

    Leave Hillary’s nasty tent in the dirt, where it lies. The people need vibrant social movements that will produce new leadership in struggle and shape the parties of the future.

    AH,

    nothing like that pony and unicorn thinking today.

  85. 85.

    opiejeanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    @Suzanne: There you go again, with you socks and sandals. ;-)

  86. 86.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    November 25, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    @opiejeanne: They were ill-fitting before the body armor, and now they’re worse. With all his billlllionz, he really ought to have suits tailored. Of course he probably doesn’t pay tailors any better than any other contractor, so he’s likely blackballed by tailors as well.

    ETA: Even good tailoring can’t make him look better in clothes, of course.

  87. 87.

    SWMBO

    November 25, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    @Kristine: Go watch some YouTubes. They have everything from replacing a sliding glass door to garbage disposals to hand quilting. There isn’t much in home improvement/crafting that you can’t find some guidance.

  88. 88.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    @opiejeanne: I’m already planning my escape route for when a Suzanne led aesthetic rebellion overthrows the Vast Orange Battalions.

  89. 89.

    SWMBO

    November 25, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Jeezus, you want him in no clothes?!

  90. 90.

    R-Jud

    November 25, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Never bothered with Black Friday other than replacing a friend’s crock pot (I’d damaged it) on the cheap once. There were shoppers out in surprisingly large numbers here in the UK today. I worked half a day and then went to see Arrival with my friend. After that we lifted weights for two hours (I am preparing for the English Championships in January). Now pizza.

    The folks in Pennsyltucky are also watching LOTR. Seems a popular choice!

  91. 91.

    opiejeanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    @Corner Stone: I’ll join you because next she’ll come after my pickup truck.

  92. 92.

    RandomMonster

    November 25, 2016 at 3:17 pm

    I only participate through online deals, but then again that’s true all year round for me. I hate absolutely everything about going to a mall.

  93. 93.

    gogol's wife

    November 25, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    That is so good.

  94. 94.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:19 pm

    @Corner Stone: We come with Eames chairs and modern art for everyone. BOW TO ME.

    True story: one time when we went to visit my in-laws, we went to the recently-opened Crystal Bridges Museum in Bentonville, which houses the art collection of Alice Walton. When we went to enter the galleries, all of the visitors were all collected into groups and given a lecture about how to behave in a museum, and how we should never touch the art or the frames. I was kind of appalled that the museum staff would think that it was appropriate to do this…..until I went into the galleries and saw people touching the art like it was freaking Bed Bath and Beyond.

  95. 95.

    henqiguai

    November 25, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    @aimai(#22):

    I’ve always disliked Chauncy de Vega’s commentary. This takes the cake for obscenely stupid.

    So, it wasn’t just me. I’ve seen the name and an occasional excerpt; always thought it was kind of pointless. But that one is beyond stupid. Glad to know, definitively, that his writings are something to blithely avoid without thought in the future. Have ongoing reservations about most stuff I see from Slate as well (though not as much as Salon).

  96. 96.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    @opiejeanne: Not sure if that’s snark as I am still in a food induced coma of sorts.
    But, no. His jackets have been too wide and 10in too long for years. His shoulders are set too wide and padded to make him look thicker through the body than even his disgusting fat body is. It gives him a sense of hunch in his posture that a good tailor would cut out. His jacket opens widely when he moves. His ties are tied to rest 3in too long, which in addition to just being gross and pointing to his junk also give the impression of a stubby leg length and make the torso seem to go on forever. He uses the wrong knot for his shirt collar. His pants are too long and not tapered to his calves so they are formless.
    I’m not a fashion…uh, Nazi…but all these little things come together to give credibility in certain settings. President Obama looks put together but not flashy. He looks credible. You understand it is important to him but he did not spend two hours getting ready that morning.
    Trump is a fucking bum in $6K suits.

  97. 97.

    Shell

    November 25, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    Watching Harry Potter movies 5-6-7/8.

    Ive had the Simpsons marathon going on in the background.

  98. 98.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    @opiejeanne: If I can get just one person to stop wearing that, then I have done my part to Keep America Beautiful.

  99. 99.

    John Revolta

    November 25, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    @rikyrah: Frankly I kinda can’t even bring myself to go and LOOK at his stupid merch. I heard good things about the snark though.

  100. 100.

    Corner Stone

    November 25, 2016 at 3:26 pm

    @opiejeanne: Well, shit. I had planned to head to the PNW. I have a place south of Tucson. Maybe I’ll just quietly slide across the border and hope they take pity on a semi-fluent gringo.

  101. 101.

    aimai

    November 25, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: I read the blog post. The whole thing was pure Chauncey, I’m quite familiar with his style because he posts at Kos periodically.

  102. 102.

    Formerly disgruntled Clinton supporter

    November 25, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    @Shell: Nice

  103. 103.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:43 pm

    @aimai:

    I read the blog post. The whole thing was pure Chauncey, I’m quite familiar with his style because he posts at Kos periodically.

    Right. Except for the part that was a quote from GLEN FORD. Which is what Germy extracted in his/her comment.

    Unless you’re trying to say that Chauncey and Glen are the same person writing under two different names.

  104. 104.

    Jacel

    November 25, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    The only time I turned out for a Black Friday sale was about 15 years ago. Mervyn’s had store decorations and goods designed by Debbie Mumm, many of which featured penguins. I collect penguins selectively. There was a deal on Black Friday where the first 700 customers in each store received a free Debbie Mumm penguin figurine that was really nice. So my wife and I lined up, came into the store when the doors opened at 7:00 AM (a time that now sounds quaintly leisurely for Black Friday). We were handed the free figurines and I bought two jackets after spending an hour outside. One of those jackets is still in active wear during winters, so it was a worthwhile shopping morning. But never again — probably not even for penguins.

  105. 105.

    NotMax

    November 25, 2016 at 3:52 pm

    Will admit to giving in and purchasing online three kitchen items which have been patiently sitting on the wanted list for a long while

    Silicone lasagna pan, also a loaf pan and a cookie sheet – both of those with ceramic coating on the cooking surface, uncoated metal on the outside/bottom.

    Have been salivating over this for a long time now but still cannot justify the cost to my inner miser.

  106. 106.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    A few weeks ago I shared a link to an interview with a well-known bespoke tailor in London who parsed Trump’s ill-fitting suits for us. Imma see if I can dig it out for you.

    Yeah, here it is. Just a wonderful, ever so polite, putdown.

    What makes it quirkily delicious for us Juicers is that the bespoke tailor in question is a member of the extensive Sebag-Montefiore family and thus, presumably, a cousin of our own Tom Levenson (I’m not doxxing; Tom has mentioned them by name more than once).

  107. 107.

    Major Major Major Major

    November 25, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: heh. I remember that article.

    Thanks for the fun fact! ??

  108. 108.

    NotMax

    November 25, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne

    Excluding Beethoven’s Hallelujah, what would be your top 3 picks for holiday compositions?

    Just curious.

  109. 109.

    dr. luba

    November 25, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    How much do I hate Black Friday? I am working a 13 hour shift–voluntarily.

  110. 110.

    dance around in your bones

    November 25, 2016 at 4:05 pm

    Black Friday, me and my sister style : Went to the Humane Society here in El Paso to investigate kitten/puppy fostering. Got info about online application, etc. Meandered around the walkways and buildings looking at many dogs (chihuahua mixes were common!) and cats, broke our hearts a little and left with none. We have 4 dogs at home already.
    Then we went to The Red Door Vintage and Tattoo Shop – browsed amusing items like tiles hand painted to look like loteria cards “El Borracho” and “Estar Guars” etc. Laughed a lot; saw no evidence of Black Friday Madness.

  111. 111.

    Olivia

    November 25, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    After 5 days of cleaning, cooking, and entertaining, today I am the worst grandmother in the world sitting in my house alone with the 4 legged animals while the rest of the family is off to watch the kids’ hockey tournaments. I still have more cleaning up to do but for right now I am going to enjoy the momentary peace and quiet with my feet up. I may even let them go to dinner without me.

  112. 112.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    @NotMax:

    Too much great choral music to pick just three, although right at the top of the list would be Daniel Pinkham’s Christmas Cantata. I also have a ridiculous affection for the Shepherds’ Farewell from Berlioz’ L’Enfance du Christ. Holst’s Christmas Day is wonderful and too rarely performed. There’s a ton more — these just popped into my head as being particular favorites.

    Have to give it some more thought. I have Romneyesque binders full of Christmas music.

  113. 113.

    Suzanne

    November 25, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    @NotMax:

    Beethoven’s Hallelujah

    Is this a thing? I know Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus is big at this time of year.

  114. 114.

    divF

    November 25, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    @NotMax: That’s Handel’s Hallelujah chorus.

    “All we like sheep”, also from Handel’s Messiah, if only for the title.

  115. 115.

    NotMax

    November 25, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    Yup. Handel. Aged brain (not) at work.

    (blushes in shame)

  116. 116.

    Singing Truth to Power

    November 25, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    I had to (HAD TO!) go to the Apple store in the mall on Wednesday because of a weird syncing problem with phone and laptop – actually, it was lack of syncing that was the problem. Malls make me slightly ill even in normal conditions, but this was the day before Thanksgiving. It was busy in the mall and the store, and the reception guy in the Genius Bar told me it would be 1 1/2 hour wait. Or, he said, I could come back on Friday. I said to him, “I would rather be set on fire than come in on Friday.” He looked at me absolutely deadpan, and said, “I almost wet my pants not laughing.”

  117. 117.

    divF

    November 25, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    We have a very robust amateur / semi-pro choral music scene around these parts, and everyone starts to schedule their various holiday performances around mid-October.

    We have a Holiday party every year, which Madame is far more enthusiastic about because of the pick-up chorus singing Christmas music. This includes an odd collection of my colleagues, including: a plasma physicist bass with perfect pitch who brings a bunch of songbooks (noteworthy in that he’s Jewish); a computer scientist tenor who is quite insistent on selections from the Oxford Book of Carols; and a young Nuclear Engineer (ETA: baritone) who brings out his Swedish Christmas carols.

  118. 118.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    @NotMax:

    I wondered, briefly, but of course Beethoven did write a marvellous “Hallelujah” chorus (from his oratorio Christus am Ölberg) which is sometimes included in Christmas programming. I like it a lot but haven’t thought of it in a while. YouTube link.

  119. 119.

    Pogonip

    November 25, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    So now that Cole’s foundlings have found their own lodgings–what’s he going to do with all those bedrooms?

  120. 120.

    Kristine

    November 25, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Trump is a fucking bum in $6K suits.

    Isn’t the point of bespoke tailoring to eliminate those sorts of things? Who the hell makes his clothes?

  121. 121.

    dance around in your bones

    November 25, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    All this Hallelujah talk makes me think of The Roches Hallelujah Chorus and K.D.Lang singing Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, and of course – Leonard himself singing Hallelujah.

  122. 122.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    @divF:

    I love this. Some of the Scandinavian and Low Country carols are lovely.

  123. 123.

    Feebog

    November 25, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    The tie length has always bothered me. I was taught how to tie a proper Windsor knot and that the tip of the tie should just cover the belt buckle. Pro tip Donnie, red ties do not go with every damn suit color.

  124. 124.

    SiubhanDuinne

    November 25, 2016 at 4:57 pm

    @Feebog:

    I know, right? His red ties are about four inches longer than they should be, and when he sits with one suit button fastened and that four inches of tie dangling out, it looks like a furious little dick trying to escape.

  125. 125.

    Singing Truth to Power

    November 25, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Hey, he told us he has no problem in that area!

  126. 126.

    Captain C

    November 25, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    I’m working today, thankfully in a library. Back in my retail days, I was also always working on Black Friday, although those days ended back when Bill Clinton was President.

    If I was off, I wouldn’t be participating. If I want a mosh pit, I’ll go to a metal or punk show.

  127. 127.

    Bex

    November 25, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Side vents? I remember when Murphy Brown told Miles that side vents just scream “wide load.”

  128. 128.

    Jacel

    November 25, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    @NotMax: Britten’s “Ceremony of Carols”, Holst’s “Christmas Day”, and Victoria’s “O Magnum Mysterium”. Here’s a performance of the last.

  129. 129.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 25, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    @Jacel:

    You got your link enmeshed with the Reply button. “O Magnum Mysterium.”

  130. 130.

    Miss Bianca

    November 25, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: @NotMax: Benjamin Britten’s “Ceremony of Carols” seconded.

  131. 131.

    Jacel

    November 25, 2016 at 6:08 pm

    @Steeplejack (tablet): Sorry. Don’t know how that happened. Thank you for posting the link to the music cleanly.

  132. 132.

    laura

    November 25, 2016 at 6:09 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: I recall being harangued after 9/11, that as an American Patriot, it was my duty to go shopping.
    I’ve got the plastic bag to prove it.

  133. 133.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    November 25, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    @Jacel:

    Don’t know for sure, but I think you need a carriage return after a link if it’s the very last thing in a comment.

  134. 134.

    laura

    November 25, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    @Kristine: reapolstery is time consuming and challenging and so very worth it.
    Get yourself to the library and find a simple step by step, watch a tutorial on the you tubes, and be prepared to rip it out and do it again until it looks good enough to you.
    The old stuff is built so well, and you will likely find that after the reapolstery, a summer or winter slip cover is the greatest thing ever invented -and you made it.
    Get after it, you’ll be so happy you did it, and sad you didn’t do it sooner.

  135. 135.

    Madeline

    November 25, 2016 at 6:53 pm

    @Miss Bianca: And I third Britten’s “Ceremony of Carols.” I was in a women’s choir in college and we sang it one year. Learning it was grand and the performance with harp a joy.

  136. 136.

    Ruckus

    November 25, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    @efgoldman:
    When I was a very young lad I helped make Barbie Doll molds. Probably about the time you got that job. And no, Barbie was not modeled after the wife of the owner of Mattel. It may have been modeled after what he thought she looked like but I’ve seen her in person and that long ago. She was a very nice lady but she was no Barbie.

  137. 137.

    Calming Influence

    November 25, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    “…so I bought some new boxers…”

    There is absolutely no reason we need to know this, John.

  138. 138.

    Lizzy L

    November 25, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    I went to the grocery store at 7:30 this morning, bought croissants, half & half, and fruit. It was very peaceful. Aside from the employees in their nifty red and black aprons, I saw three other people. All my other shopping today has been online, and very ordinary.

    I worked retail many years ago, in a specialty shop that imported trinkets, cloth, jewelry, and craft items from Bali. It must have been before Black Friday became the monstrosity that it is, because I don’t remember doing anything special to prepare for the day after Thanksgiving. The week before Christmas we were always jammed.

  139. 139.

    Calming Influence

    November 25, 2016 at 8:14 pm

    @laura:

    “…toe chain…”

    OK, now I’m interested.

  140. 140.

    Glidwrith

    November 25, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    @rikyrah: Sigh. Unreal.

  141. 141.

    SWMBO

    November 26, 2016 at 1:28 am

    @Calming Influence: Maybe it’s a boxer puppy since the kids have moved out.

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