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You are here: Home / If a Tree Falls on My House Will Anyone Hear Me Scream

If a Tree Falls on My House Will Anyone Hear Me Scream

by John Cole|  December 7, 20167:12 pm| 38 Comments

This post is in: OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUDS

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We’ll file this under the joys of home ownership.

The neighboring property is a former fraternity house. The fraternity has not existed on campus for several years, and the entire place is run down and they have a diseased/distressed tree that keeps having pieces/parts fall on my property.

Dad wants me to just pay to have the damned tree removed. I want them to pay to have the damned thing removed. If the tree was healthy and fell on my property, then it would be my insurance company’s problem. But since it is distressed, they would be liable.

I just am not in the mood to fork out a grand to chop down a god damned tree that someone else owns. I might just put a couple notches in it with an ax and let the thing fall on their roof, the fuckers.

And another thing- I was on an important call doing house stuff, and Steve marched into the office and started bitching up a storm for dinner and was so loud and distracting that the person I was talking to (a lawyer, and we know how much they charge per hour) said- “Do you want to take a moment and deal with whatever issue is bothering your cat?” God damned cat.

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Reader Interactions

38Comments

  1. 1.

    Mnemosyne

    December 7, 2016 at 7:14 pm

    I would verify that they actually have insurance before you decide. If you let it fall and it turns out they had allowed their insurance to lapse, then you get stuck with the cost anyway.

  2. 2.

    mai naem mobile

    December 7, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    John, is the tree by chance near utility lines? If it is near a utility line the utility company is responsible for it.

  3. 3.

    Roger Moore

    December 7, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    You might want to contact the city government; they’re often good people to talk to when your neighbor is harboring a nuisance like a distressed tree.

  4. 4.

    JPL

    December 7, 2016 at 7:19 pm

    So no pictures…

    The cat probably cost you 100.00, but it’s okay because the cat could care less.

  5. 5.

    p.a.

    December 7, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    Get as many good pics of the ‘before’ condition of the tree, your fence, yard, etc. and save them for the ‘after’ day.

  6. 6.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    December 7, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    Get a free quote to cut it down, find out if you can get permission to cut it down, and ask us to help you pay for it. I’m in.

  7. 7.

    Drunkenhausfrau

    December 7, 2016 at 7:26 pm

    Contact national office of the frat and tell them this is a liability and you will sue if it lands on your side.

  8. 8.

    Kelly

    December 7, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Just prune off the limbs on your side. That will unbalance it and it’ll eventually fall on their house.

  9. 9.

    PaulWartenberg2016

    December 7, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    OBEY THE CAT

  10. 10.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    December 7, 2016 at 7:34 pm

    I hear Donald Trump is good at resolving problems, but I’m guessing Cole didn’t donate to his campaign.

    ETA: Why are all of our drunk-fraternity jobs going overseas?

  11. 11.

    Applejinx

    December 7, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    Are there any power companies with wires in the vicinity? I had a tree which lost a limb, and my power company was happy to take it down at their expense (I couldn’t possibly afford to have it done, was quite willing to see it done, and they’d inevitably have lost more to line damage if they didn’t take the tree down)

  12. 12.

    Mary G

    December 7, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    I know you’re stressed, John, but this made me laugh out loud, for which I thank you.

  13. 13.

    mai naem mobile

    December 7, 2016 at 7:36 pm

    You don’t explicitly say if anybody lives there. If they live there I would get the city neighborhood compliance officer involved. If it’s that run down the compliance officer will have fun getting them to fix stuff and your neighbors will love you being that they are bringing home values down apart from being an eyesore. If they’re gun nuts living there,then ignore everything I said.

  14. 14.

    Josie

    December 7, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    @Mary G: Me, too.

  15. 15.

    Waynski

    December 7, 2016 at 7:53 pm

    You might want to contact the city government; they’re often good people to talk to when your neighbor is harboring a nuisance like a distressed tree.

    This. They’re also good about distressed properties. While it’s directly threatening your property, I doubt your neighbors are pleased about a neighborhood eyesore – it drives everyone’s property value down, and of course, property tax base.

  16. 16.

    lamh36

    December 7, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    John these posts about the house ????

  17. 17.

    Bess

    December 7, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    Contact your insurance agent. They may want to lower their risk.

  18. 18.

    The Pale Scot

    December 7, 2016 at 8:15 pm

    One quart of 50w oil + quart of petrol,

    Problem solved

  19. 19.

    William B Clark

    December 7, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Had a similar situation next door. It wasn’t going to fall on my house, but the neighbors tried various agencies and tactics to get rid of it. The landlord even ignored offers to help with the cost involved in removing the tree. Finally it pulled one phase off my house. Destroyed the garage door opener, the motors on the bed, and various less expensive items in the house. When PG&E came to investigate, the tech simply unplugged our meter, fixed the problem and plugged the meter in again, destroying the washer and dryer. We called the insurance company and PG&E and low and behold the landlord cut the tree down. We also got money to replace most of the items.

  20. 20.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    December 7, 2016 at 8:27 pm

    @Mary G: The only way it could have been better if Steve clawed the lawyer for daring to distract Steve’s human slave from what’s important.

  21. 21.

    rikyrah

    December 7, 2016 at 8:33 pm

    I miss the animal pics. I do enjoy your house stories

  22. 22.

    The Pale Scot

    December 7, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    @efgoldman:
    Ya I guess

  23. 23.

    Mel

    December 7, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    Years ago, we had a much beloved Siamese kitty who lived to be twenty.

    He was extremely gregarious, funny, social, and LOUDLY talkative. We used to put the phone on speaker when my parents called one or two afternoons a week, and he would gleefully converse with them, purring and squawking every time they said something to him. It got to the point where he would immediately run to the landline phone every time it rang in the late afternoon, hoping to have a good chat and get told that he was “grandma’s baby.”

    One afternoon, I was having a first conversation with a local agency about getting certified to foster a child, since large portions of both my and hubby’s work involved assisting children who were in the foster care system, and we knew there weren’t nearly enough emergency fosters available.
    The cats were upstairs asleep, but our Meezer must have heard the click when I put the phone on speaker. He ran into the room and started the most unearthly, ear-piercing wailing, while I was petting him and trying to pacify him. The social worker on the other end of the call was silent for a full 30 seconds, and then said in a rather indignant tone, “Don’t you think it would be a good idea to check on your baby? Did you know that we require parenting courses prior to any foster certification?”

  24. 24.

    Jay Noble

    December 7, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    Interesting that you got a lawyer who knew that Steve had an issue. :-)

  25. 25.

    laura

    December 7, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Get it done and take a lien out against the property owner – or look into doing so.

  26. 26.

    Irony Abounds

    December 7, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    I imagine that Steve has a T Shirt with Cole’s picture on it with the caption “He’s My Queen.”

  27. 27.

    J R in WV

    December 7, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Many years ago, we owned a house in town that had a tile roof.

    One day during a storm, there was a blinding flash, a stunning crash, and the house moved. Lightening struck the tree next to the house and knocked a really big limb off it, which fell onto the roof. While it rolled around up there, it smashed about a quarter of the tiles on the roof.

    The insurance people asked me a lot of questions about the event. Evidently (I figured this out later) if lightening causes the damage, they’re liable. If wind blows the tree down, your problem. Blinding flash did the trick.

    They said get 2 or 3 estimates from a roofing company and they’d take care of it. Problem: tile roofing is nearly a lost art, I finally found one (1) guy who still did tile roofs. He even had a stack of tile that matched our roof.

    So I called the insurance people, told them it was tile, only one guy, if they knew of others that would be able to do it? Nope. They said go ahead. It cost a lot, this was in about 1978… They were floored by the cost, but did pay up.

    Insurance policies are mostly things they won’t cover. Earth movement, nope. Wind damage, nope. Water damage, nope. etc.

    Do whatever it takes to get rid of the tree. Now that you’ve proven that you’re aware of the danger, it’s your problem.

  28. 28.

    EZSmirkzz

    December 7, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Well John, I guess you should have waited to fix the back porch until last, :)

    Your bud,

  29. 29.

    mai naem mobile

    December 7, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    I would not call the insurance company before you try the other options. I have a friend who was reinsuring his homeowners insurance. His insurance agent came out and told him to take care of his tree before they would reinsure and,according to him, the tree had been there for years and in the same shape.

  30. 30.

    satby

    December 7, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    So you may have missed the times I’ve mentioned here about the tree from my neighbor’s property that fell and totalled the garage at my house in Chicago (my insurance covered it, neighbors had been foreclosed on and had none). Huge hassle, but in the end about 90% of the loss was paid for.

    While I was still sorting that out, a microburst dropped an old growth maple on the home I was living in in MI. It wasn’t my insurance but the mortgage company’s that covered that loss (I was already trying to short sell because it was underwater). That tree damaged the roof trusses, popped out the front wall from the balloon frame, and then caused the whole house to tilt slightly, and the insurance only covered removal and patching of the roof and soffit. After fighting for 3 months with Quicken, I mailed in the keys, and it’s on the market for less than half of what I owed; whoever buys it better tear it down before it falls down.

    Pay the grand, get the tree removed, and sleep at night. Or pay the grand in installments on replacement value insurance for the house. Either way, you’re paying a grand in the next year; but really, do you want to go through renovations twice?

  31. 31.

    Steve in the ATL

    December 7, 2016 at 11:03 pm

    @Kelly:

    Just prune off the limbs on your side. That will unbalance it and it’ll eventually fall on their house.

    This is why I keep coming back to BJ.

  32. 32.

    I'll be Frank

    December 8, 2016 at 12:09 am

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne: This.

  33. 33.

    Mnemosyne

    December 8, 2016 at 12:39 am

    @satby:

    I hate to tell you this, but I think the trees are out to get you. Did you somehow piss off a dryad?

  34. 34.

    maeve

    December 8, 2016 at 1:16 am

    @mai naem mobile:

    I would get the city neighborhood compliance officer involved

    Oh you sweet summer child (to quote John Scalzi) – I’m betting West Virginia (like Alaska where I live) doesn’t have a thing such as a “neighborhood complicance officer” (for better or worse – and sometimes its for better).

  35. 35.

    nalbar

    December 8, 2016 at 1:25 am

    If the house is run down then just buy it, have your dad renovate it, and cut down the tree as part of the renovation. You can then rent it out to college students.

    You’re now experienced at renovation, so the second one will be easier. Trust me.

    .

  36. 36.

    Ramalama

    December 8, 2016 at 7:58 am

    We’ve had 14 trees fall or get struck by lightning and then fall in our yard through the past 10 years or so. The last one hit the balcony, and that’s when we realized how tall and damaging those fckers actually are. I mean, they’re really nice to look at, so tall and mostly blocking out the sun so that we live like trolls with mushrooms in the yard, but the reality of them coming down, well, that woke us up. You really don’t want that. And then top it off with dealing with the insurance company? It’s like getting your website re-done, but with the job half-completed.

  37. 37.

    Silver Wolf

    December 8, 2016 at 10:28 am

    I am not sure what the rules are there but where I live (Ontario, Canada) you are allowed to cut any branches that hang over your property, though you must provide the cuttings to the owner of the tree. You may want to look into your options on that.

  38. 38.

    The Moar You Know

    December 8, 2016 at 10:32 am

    Sigh. Just take the fucking tree down, John. They won’t.

    I’m dealing with the same shit with one of my neighbors and the fence. It’s falling down. I have a dog and need an intact fence. If I wait for them to get half the money together I’ll be waiting until the next presidential election at a minimum. So I’m just gonna have to pay for the fucking thing, because they have two kids and one job and no money.

    Welcome to owning a home and the tyranny of neighbors.

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