This morning, the mister and I became overwhelmed with disgust at how “doggy” our cloth sectional sofa had become. We’re having lots of company over the holidays, and we couldn’t face the onslaught with what amounted to a stinky, fur-covered, drool-soaked group of raised dog beds, so we hitched up the wagon and drove into town for a replacement:
This means the rest of our day will be pure hell as we struggle to hoist these massive boxes into the abode and assemble the new sofa with inscrutable instructions. No carefree beer, BBQ and ballgame Sunday for us. But I think it’ll be worth it.
Think of all the hex wrenches you’ll have after you’re done.
BTW, if these are your Trump voting relatives who are coming over, I’d have made them sit on the stinky, fur-covered, drool-soaked group of raised dog beds.
The girl is feverishly getting ready for her unbirthday holiday open house tomorrow and I’m doing whatever while watching the Red Zone.
Could be worse. You could be forced to watch your QB throw passes 3 feet behind open receivers or into the dirt at their feet. For four quarters.
The Texans have a top 10 defense and a top 5 rushing game. Sheesh.
That’s nothing! I added a NAS to my network, swapped out routers, and re-installed Winders from scratch on my main desktop. All in the same week!
Hopefully, the packet’s bolts and hex sockets are all perfectly milled and require no replacement.
I don’t understand it. The man simply can not throw an accurate pass. Yet he will make $18M a year for at least two guaranteed years.
I’d like air some grievances. First, about the weather: I remember a time, years ago, when it would either snow or not snow. Nowadays our winters have been rain, freezing rain, sleet, snow, and then back to freezing rain, etc.. And then overnight it all freezes. It’s like shoveling wet concrete.
Also, I’d like to complain about snow plows nowadays. They speed by my 30mph street at about 45mph, and throw a wall of snow over my just-shoveled driveway and sidewalk.
I remember, many years ago, when I was about ten years old. I was watching out my window as a snowplow drove slowly by, clearing our road. He would lift his plow before passing each driveway. Nobody does that anymore. And many roads go unsalted. I read stories about shortages of road salt, and then I remember one spring seeing a couple of snowplow guys dumping unused salt on the side of the road to get rid of it.
Okay, I’m done.
Ikea sofas aren’t that bad to assemble — they’re basically a set of boxes that you attach together and then cover with pillows and fabric. Nonetheless, when I bought a sleeper sofa from them, I paid $100 extra to have some guys come build it for me, which they did in about 15 minutes flat.
Also, too, my Weekend Movie Club post is up about His Girl Friday. Spoiler alert: turns out I’m still really, really pissed about how the press fucked up our recent election and I was therefore in no mood for charming journalism-related shenanigans even though fast-talking conman Cary Grant is always my favorite Cary Grant. I’m heading out to the LA meetup shortly, but I’ll try to approve comments as fast as I can.
If you’re not outfitting a dorm room or some other temp staging area, why would anyone go to IKEA for furniture?
I’ll confess that 90 percent of my furniture is from Ikea. I’ve never had an issue putting it together or having it become wobbly after use. The bed frame in the guestroom is 15 years old and is rock solid. I love that I can buy new covers if I need/want them. I have models from the Kivik, Ektorp and Stocksund lines and always get compliments on them. FWIW.
You can now swap any faulty ones out right at the store rather than having to wait for them to mail them.
Anyone who complains about how difficult IKEA furniture is to assemble has never tried to assemble anything from Target. THAT is the seventh circle of hell.
@Corner Stone: Because it’s affordable and better quality than what I could get for the same price from a “discount” furniture place. I also have pets and will not buy a one of kind keep it for generations piece of furniture only to have it slimed by dogs or scratched up by cats. If they trash my sofa I can get a new cover.
We are also IKEA addicts — our bedroom and living room furniture is almost all from IKEA. It helps that it’s very close by and cheap to have things delivered if needed.
Cost Plus World Market also has very nice assemble-it-yourself furniture, mostly made of real wood, that’s even easier to assemble than IKEA. Our coffee table and end tables are from them.
I like Ikea too.
After putting together my share of furniture from any number of places, including IKEA, I have decided that the best tool for assembly is a credit card.
@debit: I don’t have pets but do have a little animal of my own that seems to beat the crap and abuse our furniture. But the set we have now is from early 2009 and still looking ok. Got it from The Roomstore IIRC.
Every piece of furniture/shelving/etc I have ever bought that needs assembly seems to always tell me to do Step C then Step D but it’s clear Step D must come first. And I don’t figure that out until I’m ready to toss it all into a burn barrel.
And the new sofa won’t be all dogged up by the time your guests arrive?
The MN Vikings traded away first round draft picks to obtain the services of a backup QB who throws 2 yard passes on 3rd and long, all season long. No future & no today but the owners got a billion dollar boost to their personal wealth from the tax payers so at least someone is winning
Iowa Old Lady
I’ve never been in an IKEA. They’re in Iowa now, I believe, but for a long time the closest one was in the Twin Cities.
It’s a loooong drive to the closest IKEA but I do love the online galleries.
My Norwegian friend absolutely hates IKEA, because it is Swedish. She calls it the Swedish Walmart.
I am in moderation because I criticized IKEA. Please release me.
You should see the Ikea outside Moscow. It’s Yuuge
I didn’t have pets…but when I took custody of my teen daughter I hit IKEA. Teen slumber parties can be as hard on furniture as pets. My daughter took her bedroom set with her when she moved out…12 years and still fully functional.
@Mnemosyne: Yeah, I haven’t found IKEA sofas to be that bad. They’re easier to put together than a lot of stuff.
@Iowa Old Lady:
Come for the furniture, stay for the meatballs!
@debbie: lol That’s what I was thinking. The dogs are gonna love their new bed.
I hve been raking in some decent pocket change as a handyman, specializing in furniture assembly.
IKEA kits are the best and once you assemble a few, you can also competently translate Linear A.
Other kits are not of such high quality as Ikea’s.
Old people here in Fla. will pay to have it assembled.
@Corner Stone: At the time IKEA had the only non-over stuffed sofa anywhere to be found. I think styles have changed – the whole mid-century modern style has meant things aren’t overstuffed and massive. But in the old house I was in, none of those overstuffed sofas would have worked at all. One had to be sent back because it didn’t fit through the door! IKEA made the only one that would work.
Now I’m in moderation for mentioning the capital of R–ia?
Okay, now I have two comments in moderation.
Because, as others have said, it’s cheap and reasonably resilient. In my experience, their actual wood furniture is really solid. I have a largish bookshelf unit (not the iconic Billy, although I have lots of those too) which is loaded with heavy stuff, and after 15 years is as good as new. It also weighs a ton, which surprises people that think IKEA only does pressboard.
Allen wrenches and beer go together like…pretty much everything and beer. Have fun with your Kruupvargending (in Enköping beige).
@gogol’s wife: Happened to me too.
@Schlemazel: Osweiler has thrown two INT’s in the time since my last comment. One sailed on him four feet above where it should have been, and the WR was open by three feet. The last one he threw right to the middle linebacker who was 5 feet inside any possible Texans receiver.
He’s 6/11 for 48yds 0TD/2INT
Steve in the ATL
We have more expensive sofas and chairs so we keep the ones the dogs use covered in same-color fleece blankets that we swap out and launder every few days. Much easier and cheaper than recovering.
Major Major Major Major
Our furniture is either IKEA-esque ‘cat furniture’ or glass-based. Nothing wrong with that!
The Texans invested a huge sum in Osweiler and left Tom Savage and Wheeden as their backups. So how in the world can you bench an $18M a year QB to put Tom Savage in? We are hostage to his salary hit.
I had been trying to find “The Long Kiss Goodnight”, but alas, it isn’t streaming anywhere reliable, and I got no DVD Player anywhere but the office.
Settled on “Get the Gringo”, which is surprisingly good.
This nation spends billions supporting a web of NFL minor league teams across the country, you would think we could produce at least 32 semi-competent QBs. You would be wrong.
@gogol’s wife: I blame the apostrophe.
Seriously, it doesn’t always happen, but when weirdness strikes, some non-zero fraction of the time it seems to happen to people with apostrophes in their ‘nyms.
FWYP doesn’t seem to know how to escape apostrophes reliably.
(But it doesn’t just seem to be that; maybe there is some random number generator acting on the code, also too.)
I say: anyone not willing to share my pack’s “stinky, fur-covered, drool-soaked group of raised dog beds” can go visit someone else. :)
@normal liberal: If it weighs a ton it probably is pressboard. 10 pounds of sawdust and 200 pounds of glue is heavy.
@Corner Stone: Have the Texans ever made good quarterback decisions?
Major Major Major Major
@Another Scott: I’m still amazed by how the internet hasn’t figured out how to deal with Unicode by now.
@Coin operated: It’s a sad commentary on modern goods when people are (rightly) pleased that 12-year-old furniture is intact.
The other weird thing, since the last “Upgrade,” is that I can’t use Cyrillic in a comment or it disappears.
And I’m in moderation again.
@Josie: Schaub wasn’t half bad until he was injured. An above average QB I would have put in the top 15 for three of his years with the Texans.
David Carr was a bad choice and the organization never gave him a chance.
Major Major Major Major
@Pogonip: on the other hand, “furniture” loosely defined is quite affordable.
@Another Scott: WP itself usually does ok, it’s the seventeen and a half million plugins that are published with no testing and then forgotten by everybody except the sites using them.
The best thing about WP is how easy it is to extend with plugins. The worst thing about WP is how easy it is to extend with plugins.
@Corner Stone: He was reasonably OK in the 7(?) starts he made when Manning went down last year. On the other hand, the Denver defense last year could have made any quarterback look reasonably OK. I am glad Elway did not shell out the big bucks to keep Osweiller in Denver (although I would not have minded him staying for half of the price that Houston paid).
Nope, actual wood, as evidenced by the unfinished shelf ends, not to mention the materials tag that also revealed its inscrutable given name. Okay, it’s pine, so obviously not good wood, but it serves my humble needs. It’s really only heavy as compared to the pressboard. My most recent purchase was a computer desk made of the glued-together stuff; not Herman Miller, but completely serviceable.
@Corner Stone: I’m not so sure even about Schaub. He didn’t seem to me to hold up when things got dicey, but maybe I’m not remembering correctly.
I like IKEA for bookshelves. I have a lot of art books, and most bookshelves are too shallow. We got 14 linear feet of Besta bookshelves, and I only have one book that won’t fit. And they look great. The Spawns’ furniture is also IKEA, as kids are hard on stuff. I also like their home organization stuff.
But other than that, I have been replacing our IKEA furniture rather than buying more. It doesn’t do so well after being moved once or twice, and I am trying to be better about spending a bit more money but buying things that won’t need to be replaced due to falling apart or going out of style. I have already gone through some IKEA furniture that just plain fell apart. Trying to step to to Crate and Barrel or Room and Board level quality and aesthetic.
I don’t like these stupid upgrades that hamper my ability to comment.
I also do not allow my dogs on the furniture. I bought them both some very awesome doggie beds. The furniture is for people. And unfortunately cats.
Bradford is 5/8 for 52 yards (more than half on one completion) with an INT. Two first downs for the entire first half. Peterson has 16 yards (13 of them on on carry) just to prove that it is not just the QB that is second string.
Major Major Major Major
@Mike J: the worst thing about WP is PHP. Easy to do, even easier to do wrong, and usually done by non-experts when you’re talking WP plugins.
Meetup in bay area? Has there ever been one? Might there be one?
Major Major Major Major
@fuckwit: me and Mnem and ruemara hung out in SF about a month ago.
Not so much the meatballs, thanks all the same, but food in their stores can be surprisingly good.
Who foisted Swedish meatballs on a defenseless population? Back in the sixties my parents used to throw massive cocktail parties which always featured chafing dishes full of those meatballs. As a small child who hated bland food, I couldn’t understand why the adults hoovered them up when all the other food was more interesting and tasty. Maybe it was a “good with alcohol” thing.
@Schlemazel: Ikea is my younger grandkids’ favorite place to eat. It’s great because we can go eat there before we go to the megamall and it is way cheaper. They LOVE the meatballs.
Lutheran church pot lucks. Also the fount of one-thousand different Jello salads.
I have no problem assembling IKEA furniture. Last year, my son and I put together storage shelves for his play room. He was all of four years old at the time. I have video evidence that he did most of the work putting it together, with a little help and a lot of guidance from me. Once I get his room painted in a couple of weeks, we’ll probably get his new bed from IKEA, and I’ll give him the job of putting it together. He will be 6 by then, and as a young engineer, he’ll be ready.
Aaargh, YES! Its like they lie in wait till you’re done digging out.
Broke down and bought “Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol” last night. Nobody seems to show it on TV any more.
Uggghhh. Recovering after a second bout of severe dyspepsia in three months which had me stay in bed all day yesterday, sleeping as much as I could. Today I’m feeling a lot better – but considering that yesterday would have been a great day to come by and threaten to kill me (“Really? Yes! Please!”) that’s not saying a whole lot.
So I’m mostly just watching football today. And eating BART at measured intervals…
Watching the Chicago-Green Bay game. These are two cities, and two teams, who should be used to very cold weather. But it seems not – no one seems able to hang onto the ball, or catch the ball, or do much but watch sadly as the ball bounces away.
Major Major Major Major
Interesting go-to. Does this, uh, happen often?
Mike in NC
We went to the big IKEA store in Woodbridge, VA a number of years ago and it was like getting lost in a maze. My wife vowed to never return after we finally located the exit.
My, full-blooded, Swedish grandmother never made meatballs once. I had no idea there was such a thing as “Swedish meatballs” until I was an adult.
Ikea’s are OK if you like that sort of thing I guess.
@Major Major Major Major: Heh! Not sure which one you’re asking about. No, threats don’t often come my way. And no, I don’t usually long for the sweet release of death. But I was deeply, unusually miserable yesterday.
ETA: Anyone wonder what it’s like to grow up with the first name Ha Ha?
@Corner Stone: The first step of putting anything together is to read and understand all the steps before starting.
@Mike in NC:
Ditto. They creep me out like a corn maze.
Amen. I believe that 95% of Balloon Juice’s problems are related to the Rube Goldberg barnacle-like encrustation of plug-ins that vaguely may or may not work, singly or with one another.
@Shell: I’ve got fond memories of that. They pretty much butchered the actual story but the music was quite good.
Clear violation of Dude Rule #1. Penance is buying one redundant power tool and acceptance of the admonishment to go forth and sin no more.
Major Major Major Major
@CaseyL: whose name is Ha ha?
@Mnemosyne: GOOD to know about World Market. I need a few pieces, so I’ll check their stuff.
I’ve got some of those heavy Ikea bookcases that I bought 20+ years ago and they still look and work great. They’re built like big black brick Swedish shithausen and I’m told they’re much prized by record collectors.
@Major Major Major Major: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, plays defense for the Packers. Very good player. I just wonder if he had a “Boy Named Sue” kind of life.
I imagine it going something like this: Homer buys a couch from IKEA
@CaseyL: @Major Major Major Major: His real name is Ha’Sean.
Villago Delenda Est
Meh. The only important game was the one in which my beloved Rams got crushed by my more beloved Seahawks.
/shakefist at NFL for putting my two favorite teams in the same damn division with one of their idiotic reorganizations.
What about upper and lower dynasty Egyptian? APL?
Villago Delenda Est
@Omnes Omnibus: Ha’Sean chop?
@Major Major Major Major: you made it sound like a private party, so not open to others.
@EBT: How in the F am I supposed to know ahead of time their instructions are in the wrong order?
Villago Delenda Est
@Suzanne: Surely by now you realize that EVERYTHING in the abode belongs to the cats, to include you and your entire family.
Major Major Major Major
@bemused senior: we did??
ETA: us and darkrose were the only ones who signed up.
@Villago Delenda Est: I know. Rams were my favorite team as well. Saw them lose a preseason game in Berkley to the Raiders. Then Seattle got a franchise and I slowly moved away from the Rams, then they moved away from me. Secretly, I did enjoy their Super Bowl win, even if it was in St Louis.
Seahawks are definitely my fave team now, although it’s good to see the Rams back in Los Angeles.
@Corner Stone: This is how social media can be useful!
I’ve assembled my share of furniture. None of it Ikea, oddly enough; mostly Dania. Never had any trouble. The only assembled furniture I still have are my bookshelves, 20+ years old.
@CaseyL: Can’t actually remember the last time I bought anything from IKEA. I did buy two small chest-high bookshelves from Target a few years back for my kid’s junk. And that followed the same pattern as having to backtrack some of the steps to get it all together. Nice solid stuff, actually.
We made the move to leather couches when the kids were small and our dogs were comfort cravers. The kids are long gone but we still have a brace of Catahoulas (also comfort cravers) to live with and you can’t beat leather for maintenance. Our living room sports the third set of leather furniture in as many decades.
As for IKEA, we used to go to the one over in your neighborhood (I think) before the Orlando one opened. Beds, tables, dressers, many, many things IKEA have gone through our portals over the years. It just doesn’t hold up under heavy use has been our observation but maybe your mileage will vary.
@cope: I never heard of Catahoulas before, so of course I looked them up. Fascinating breed! – how do you keep them gainfully employed?
@Mike in NC: I know several people who will not go to Ikea after one visit, just because of how you have to snake through it. They are afraid of a fire and they won’t be able to get out. They also don’t like the big mall next door because they think it is a terror target.
That was more exciting than it needed to be.
@Omnes Omnibus: The game? Yeah, I felt bad for Chicago, but I normally root for GB (when they’re not playing the ‘Hawks).
@CaseyL: They bark a lot and, by a lot, I mean a lot. We have a dog door into the fenced back yard for them to come and go at will and if anybody is walking along the path outside our backyard fence, they are off and clamoring or, heaven forbid, should somebody enter or even knock at the front door, they explode in a frenzy of canine bellowing, even if it is me. Oh yeah, the younger one thinks dogs on TV are in our living room.
The barking can get to me but my wife reminds me that that is there job and she will correctly point out to me that at least 3 of our neighbors have been burgled so, yeah, they earn their keep. They also keep us warm in bed at night (not always a good thing).
@cope: Interesting. Protective dogs are wonderful – I couldn’t put up with that much barking, though.
I just finished binging on Stranger Things – what a really well put-together and thought-out show. I will say the only hesitation I have is that it is coming back for a second season, with the same cast of characters, and I question how much more of the mythos can be investigated (I think a pure character drama would be great, but I question how deep you can get with middle schoolers).
Either way – a great way to recover from a rough half-week.
J R in WV
And people gave Geno Smith a hard time – he was never that bad!
J R in WV
An external DVD player can be had at Best Buy for $19… you could do a GoFundMe for that amount!
Cost Plus World Market is where I go when I crave exotic chocolate. One of my favourites is their own-brand dark chocolate with sea salt and wasabi ginger. Spicy!
Did not know buffalo were as far east as West Virginia. Great pix.
@Corner Stone: Gotta love those backup QBs who can parlay passable coverage of injured starters and parlay that into a big contract. That has invariably happened way more frequently than the other way around (e.g. Brady, Romo).
Stan W. Baker
@Corner Stone: The cost-quality ratio is compelling. If you don’t live in an area littered with antiques, and won’t spend $5000 per room, Ikea is the best option in a poor marketplace.
@Major Major Major Major:
Lizzy L was hoping to join us, too, but the scheduling didn’t work out.
There was a blurb I read somewhere about a website that had postings of “gigs” and this one guy was doing really well with these gigs. Anyhow,his #1 gig was putting together IKEA furniture together.
@SiubhanDuinne: I will have to try this chocolate.