Jim VandeHei’s thoughtful piece advocating for a techno-military dictatorship was one of the highlights of 2016 political journalism, so I’ve been waiting with bated breath to see what he and Mike Allen were planning next. It seems to be a a high-priced subscription-based news service called Axios that promotes itself by tweeting out pictures of off-the-record events with Donald Trump.
I understand selling one’s soul for some nice food and high-class booze, but…what the fuck kind of buffet is this?
Christmas at Mar-a-Lago: #NotYourTypicalPoolHold! dinner for pool apres @realDonaldTrump off-record .. follow @axios pic.twitter.com/8Zw9QFc1vJ
— Mike Allen (@mikeallen) December 19, 2016
The student activity center called and they want their rolls and potato chips back.
JMG
I swear to you, Marge Schott laid out a better spread for the press at the Cincinnati Reds post-game buffets for the press at the 1990 World Series. And because we were sportswriters, we bitched about its quality. We were just moochers, not hos.
debbie
Even though they look a little undercooked, I’d bet those Trump steaks are like shoe leather.
Baud
The first state dinner will feature ramen noodles.
MelissaM
Hey, is that Jimmy John himself behind the table?
Hunter Gathers
But Lay’s are hands down the classiest of potato chips. Available at only the finest of establishments. Like right outside a road stop bathroom.
BillinGlendaleCA
A tacky one.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Baud: No, it’ll be a nice spread; catered by a Tump subsidiary.
Elizabelle
Are there more pictures? I want to see our pay to play journalists, with the master.
Brachiator
Jimi knew:
My red is so confident that he flashes trophies of war,
And ribbons of euphoria
Orange is young, full of daring,
But very unsteady for the first go round
My yellow in this case is not so mellow
In fact I’m trying to say it’s frightened like me…
Just ask the shitgibbon (he knows everything)
But we are bold as love…
rikyrah
Not even a three piece and a biscuit from Popeyes ???
The actual bags of Lays potato chips is what got me going Da hail?
The rolls look stale.
SenyorDave
The first state dinner will feature ramen noodles.
Probably supplied by a catering company owned by one of the evil spawn of the predator-elect. Its pretty comical to see what a cheap piece of shit Trump is. And also to see what low-rent whores the media are (I actually think it is an insult to whores to compare the media to them).
BillinGlendaleCA
@JMG: The political press are not only whores*, but cheep whores*.
*No disrespect to sex workers, many who are very good at their jobs and provide a useful service.
ETA: (Tips hat to Senyor Dave, who got there first.)
Botsplainer
Besides the buckets of mustard and mayo, there are elaborately labeled bottles of Trump sparkling wine, undoubtedly from the finest vintages produced by Bartles AND James…
Probably had Bud Lite for beer drinkers.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
Doug: Anytime I see Jim Fucking Vandehei I’m reminded of the bad old days when we’d try to tweak his sorry, dim ass on the WaPo chats. His spots haven’t changed. Every time his name pops up it highlights how he deserves a spot right up there with Mrs Greenspan and Chuckles Todd for inclusion in the first tumbrel load.
As Driftglass posted recently, the media is Enemy #1. This is just Example #3,658.
Elizabelle
Tweets found at the link on the photo:
germy
Nothingburgers all the way down
Botsplainer
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Actually it may not be so much tacky as it is a reflection of the esteem felt by Twitler toward them.
He isn’t wrong, if that was intentional.
NotMax
Aw, no pic of the life-size bust of you know who.
Constructed of tripe.
Felonius Monk
Is that Pool as in Ptomaine?
schrodinger's cat
@BillinGlendaleCA: Collaborators, is the word you are looking for.
sloan
This is what I imagine a Golden Corral buffet would look like.
But the food server would have shaved in the last few days and would be wearing a hair net.
schrodingers_cat
In moderation again, for using my old nym. FYWP.
NotMax
The blinis and vodka must be further down the table.
Iowa Old Lady
I saw a picture of the press lined up with Trump at that gathering. Do we have the names of the media people who allowed themselves to be used like this?
delk
I’ve thrown Lunch & Learn’s with better looking spreads than that and you got CLE credit.
JenJen
I’ve been laughing about Axios ever since I heard it was being run by that dick Mike Allen, last seen smiling at Mar-a-Lago with our new Electoral President-Elect.
And, saw this post title on Twitter and thought, “Oh man, that has to be a DougJ post.” And whadda ya know, hot damn, it is!
kindness
Not a Twitter guy but the comments following up Allen’s post were funny. I’m left wondering why many of those who claimed this made them unfollow Allen hadn’t done so for the million outstanding reasons previously. Not a good way to run a high priced subscription service focused on fluffing.
beth
Is that a stack of paper plates to the right of the rolls? Tacky, tacky.
JPL
It appears there was champagne, and I can only imagine what that tasted like.
GregB
The dessert table had a delicious assortment if circus peanuts snd snowballs. Classy!
BillinGlendaleCA
@Botsplainer:
@schrodinger’s cat: Why not both?
BillinGlendaleCA
@JPL: I’m guessing the same as the stuff my college friends had at the Rose Parade in 1979. Bronco champagne, tastes like horse piss.
Baud
Y’all be arugula-eating elitists.
Villago Delenda Est
Mike Allen and Jim VandeHei. Two more reasons for my nym.
Wipe them out. All of them.
BillinGlendaleCA
@GregB:
See, that climate change stuff is Chinese Hoax!
MomSense
@rikyrah:
Without getting into it too much I’ll just say that I remember him from the 80s as my social circles sometimes crossed with his social circles. He’s a vulgar, shallow person. He is socially aspirant and incredibly self absorbed. There is no center. There is no moral compass. There is no introspection or consideration. He needs constant validation and adulation because he lacks any kind of substance or faith that might root him as a human being. He lives hand to mouth in the basest way possible.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Baud: Not me, I stick with lettuce.
Villago Delenda Est
@NotMax: Insult to tripe.
Roger Moore
@BillinGlendaleCA:
FTFY.
Ruviana
@BillinGlendaleCA: I’m concerned about how you know this.
Gin & Tonic
Axios is an acclamation used in the various Eastern Orthodox and Eastern (Byzantine) Rite churches meaning “deserving” or “worthy of”. It’s what you say to a bishop after he is awarded that position.
I can’t think of anything less “worthy of” than the Allen/VandeHei pond scum.
Gin & Tonic
@BillinGlendaleCA: Not to get too personal, but how do you know how horse piss tastes?
BillinGlendaleCA
@Ruviana:
@Gin & Tonic: I was not present, I went the next year, but that’s what I was told. The next year we had Andre champagne(still shitty, but I’m told it was better).
Elizabelle
This is sad to say, but it would not surprise me if Mike Allen was a suicide one day. He seems to be a strange little man with no center. No moral core. People have pegged him as soulless for a while now.
Aleta
https://medium.com/more-or-less/trump-interrupted-b0603bb35b07#.klfyuw73a
Tr— Interrupted
-Sarah Cooper
Short piece, could be funny if not for being real
BillinGlendaleCA
@Roger Moore: I sit corrected.
Petorado
This reminds me of how cheaply Congresscritters can be bought out as well. For a few thousand dollars thrown at their campaign, they’ll give away billions in public assets to corporations or big donors. Our media will now be thrilled to have a few buns tossed their way after being released from their hostile press pens.
Steeplejack (phone)
@MomSense:
Are you talking about Trump, VandeHei or Allen?
Roger Moore
@JPL:
That’s sparkling wine. You can bet Trump wouldn’t be willing to spring for the real stuff.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Elizabelle: Then we won’t get “Happy Friday” on “Morning Joe”, SAD.
(In an effort to preserve my mental health, I quit watching “Morning Joe” a week prior to the election.)
Ruviana
@Steeplejack (phone): Too easy: All of them Katie.
MomSense
@Steeplejack (phone):
Trump
JPL
@Aleta: If only Bezos would read this, and then hang his head in shame.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Steeplejack (phone): OT: Did you see the Amazon link to the case I have for my S2?
debbie
Hmm, the first of many flauntings of the law?
BillinGlendaleCA
@MomSense: I’m sorry.
BillinGlendaleCA
@debbie: “When the President(or evidently President-elect) does it, it’s not illegal.”
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I can’t decide if that spread is an expression of Trump’s disdain for the press, or an expression of his innate tackiness.
Elizabelle
@MomSense: Excellent description.
And now he gets the nuclear codes.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Ruviana, @MomSense:
Just glad it wasn’t Popeyes. Now I’m jonesin’ for some spicy pieces with a salty biscuit and a side of red beans and rice.
Gin & Tonic
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Can easily be both.
Steeplejack (phone)
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Yes, got it and bookmarked it on my computer for post-Christmas consideration. One question: does it get in the way when you’re holding the tablet in portrait mode?
P.S. I usually come back the next morning and check the overnight threads. OCD/closure.
catclub
@germy: I knew this comment would be here.
Saved me typing it.
NotMax
@BillinGlendaleCA
Absolutely the lowest form of “champagne” swill ever. Undrinkable? Hell, it’s unsippable. Would gag a maggot.
Other side of the coin is that (if one can find them) Israeli sparkling wines can be darn good quality and very affordable.
Mnemosyne
I order buffets at work with a budget of under $250. I’ll take a photo next time so you can see how much better mine look even when we order from frickin’ El Pollo Loco.
Steeplejack (phone)
@debbie:
Flouting.
raven
Speaking of “journalism” you see this shit about
How Ed Schultz transformed from MSNBC lefty to the American face of Moscow media
MomSense
@Steeplejack (phone):
Sounds good. I could go for biscuits right about now. Bread is my weakness!
BillinGlendaleCA
@Steeplejack (phone): Nope, it just folds back behind the tablet and secures with a magnetic clasp. It can also act as a stand in landscape mode.
ETA: I can provide pics upon request.
Roger Moore
@debbie:
Nitpick: that should be floutings of the law, not flauntings. To flaunt is to show off; to flout is to ignore.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Mnemosyne: El Pollo Loco’s good stuff.
raven
@Roger Moore: Wow, I never knew that!
BillinGlendaleCA
@Roger Moore: With Trump, it’s both.
mike in dc
@raven:
Fuck that guy.
Incidentally, if the media really wants Trump to do regular press conferences, there’s an easy way to force him to do it. Stop covering his rallies and tweets. I know, Fox will still do it, but if everyone else drops coverage, he’ll cave. I suspect they’re going to have to force the issue, because I don’t think Trump wants a forum where he gets hit with hard questions and harder follow ups.
Roger Moore
@Mnemosyne:
Might I suggest ordering from your favorite taco truck the next time? They’ll need the business now that they aren’t going to be on every corner.
BillinGlendaleCA
@mike in dc:
You’ve seen the White House Press Corps, right?
Steeplejack (phone)
@NotMax:
My favorite inexpensive bubbly is Conde de Caralt Brut. A nice Cava for 10 bucks.
Roger Moore
@mike in dc:
How much of the media actually wants that, though? What they really want is easy material they can put on their “news” shows. As long as Trump provides them with free content, they’ll be happy.
Baud
@raven: Wow. That’s news to me. I did not realize how much economic anxiety Schultz had.
Aleta
A guy like Tr might just spring for Cold Duck to impress the women.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Baud: Well, he got canned at MSNBC.
raven
@Baud: Yea, I had no idea either.
Elizabelle
Axios. Sounds like men’s cologne. In midlevel department stores.
But here’s a Vanity Fair article on what could Axios possibly be? The usual journo-techno-speak from VandeHei. It’s undecipherable. (The following excerpt is clearer than what preceded.)
And look who is financing the new venture. NBC has a stake. Andrew Lack will be on the board. Nothing says quality journalism (Villager! On steroids!) like NBC these days.
Cue the crack whore snark.
Although there’s a photo of the two at the Vanity Fair link. VandeHei looks full of himself. Allen looks shyly kind and human. Better pic of him, than usual.
Steeplejack (phone)
@BillinGlendaleCA:
The pics on the Amazon page are clear enough. I just wondered about holding it freehand.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Aleta:
Oh, that’s what they call it now.
Baud
@BillinGlendaleCA: Now if they could just can Andrea Mitchell.
mike in dc
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Yeah, but Trump can’t even field a medium speed pitch. And even simple follow ups would make him look bad. If his team thought press conferences were a strong point for him, he’d be doing one a month.
Aleta
@Elizabelle: Or medieval department stores..
JPL
This is so sad.. from AP
Because it wasn’t a terrorist event, it will not receive much attention from 24/7.
Aleta
@Steeplejack (phone): People having their portraits done are holding tablets now?
NotMax
@Steeplejack
Used to be a specialty cheese and wanna-be gourmet food shop here which stocked a sizeable selection of sparkling wines at Xmas season, all $10 or less. Also brought in a caraway-infused cheese at holiday time only which was to die for. Might be misremembering, but think it was a Danish cheese called King Christian.
Out of business for some time now, was saddled with an unfortunate name: Who Cut The Cheese.
Roger Moore
@mike in dc:
I think he’d be doing it every day if he thought it was a strong point; he’d love the attention.
Villago Delenda Est
@mike in dc: They will never do that. Drumpf rallies are good for ratings. They are mercenaries, they have no loyalty to truth, to honor, to integrity, to decency. They make $10 blow job ajimas in Itaewon look like dignified businesswomen.
Villago Delenda Est
@BillinGlendaleCA: Corpse. It’s spelled Corpse.
Villago Delenda Est
@raven: Another name on the tumbrel manifest.
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax:
I was thinking “cheap pâté” (okay, liverwurst. OKAY?) but “tripe” has a certain poetry to it.
SiubhanDuinne
@Felonius Monk:
The P is silent, as in pswimming.
Mnemosyne
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Why choose?
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
I thought the media brought all the tripe. Or did they use it all up producing their “content”?
SiubhanDuinne
@beth:
Please. Mar-a-Lago is a class joint. Those plates are molded styrofoam.
Mnemosyne
@raven:
Misogyny is a hell of a drug.
SiubhanDuinne
@JPL:
Think of a cheap knockoff Asti Spumante that’s gone all funky.
debbie
@Steeplejack (phone):
(also Roger Moore)
I like flaunting for this:
He’s doing this because he can and because he likes to stick it to his opponents at every opportunity.
RSA
@Botsplainer:
At the cash bar.
Another Scott
That spread reminds me of when our flight was cancelled years ago. We were stuck at some airport halfway home. We complained and got a coupon for a night’s stay at their contracted hotel and a $10 coupon for “dinner”. By the time we got to the hotel, their kitchen was closed, but they helpfully offered to take our $10 coupons in exchange for some sandwiches which were (honest to the FSM) two slices of plain white bread with a slice of American “cheese” between them…
:-/
Cheers,
Scott.
NotMax
@debbie
Obligatory clip.
Tilda Swinton's Bald Cap
The other picture, that goes with this story is the one that shows the “reporters” standing in a semi-circle around Trump, who is giving his usual stupid thumbs up. I’ve seen that picture posted on at least a dozen web sites. I have yet to see a caption that tells me who the “reporters” are. We need to have names.
Adrift
@BillinGlendaleCA: It’s a roast beef sandwich that you make yourself on a ridiculously sized roll (note the mayo and mustard bowls), tasteless tomato and lettuce(?) from Piggly-Wiggly with a side of bagged chips. All on a styrofoam/cardboard plate (on the right),
Sorry if I repeated anyone, I just had to comment as soon as I walked in the door :)
ETA minor edit
SiubhanDuinne
@debbie:
I think you mean “flouting,” not “flaunting.”
Isn’t Kuwait in breach of contract here? Seems to me the Four Seasons has a very solid lawsuit.
Botsplainer
@RSA:
Here’s how I picture the premium brands for the $8 drinks (well liquor was $6):
Usher’s
Seagram’s 7
Jack Daniels
Popov Vodka
Glenmore Gin
Bacardi white rum
Mixers include Canada Dry for tonic, soda water and ginger ale
Plain tomato juice for Bloody Marys
No fresh cut limes, only RealLime
SunnyD for Screwdrivers
Pepsi Cola
Ice was on the warm side, and sloppy
Jeffro
@Elizabelle:
I cannot imagine what the frock this means, but it’s approaching Trumpian levels of bullshit, that’s for sure.
SiubhanDuinne
@Aleta:
Now I’m picturing a bar stocked with Cold Duck, Grey Goose, and Wild Turkey.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Aleta:
I always work in portrait mode. In landscape mode I tend to fall asleep.
Doug!
@JenJen:
Thanks!
SiubhanDuinne
@JPL:
Just sent a FB message to a good FB friend who lives in Mexico City. I hope and assume she’s okay but will feel better when I hear back from her.
Same as my high school friend who now lives in Berlin. I worried about her yesterday until she posted an “I’m fine, I’m safe” message some hours after the truck event.
lollipopguild
@Gin & Tonic: A friend told him.
Steeplejack (phone)
@NotMax:
What an awful name. They deserved to go out of business for that alone.
Just over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge on the way to Rehoboth Beach is an excellent barbecue place with the slightly unfortunate name It’s the Pits, but that’s nowhere near as bad as the cheese place. Those cutesy names usually only work for hair salons, for some reason.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Steeplejack (phone): Yup, the front cover just folds over the back and the magnetic clasp folds back as well to clasp in the back
lollipopguild
@Steeplejack (phone): Curl up and Dye?
SiubhanDuinne
@Steeplejack (phone):
Wow, interesting. I am exactly the opposite. Portrait mode makes me all twitchy.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Villago Delenda Est: Wishful thinking, VDE.
SiubhanDuinne
@Baud:
Can Andrea Mitchell what?
What can Andrea Mitchell, that is what we want to know.
NotMax
@Steeplejack
Shear Madness was one seen someplace.
During my monthly circuit through town, pass by a hair salon which has a huge printed banner across the front advertising, exactly as typed here, the following:
Higlights Our Specialty.
Cringe each time drive by it.
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax:
HIGlights?
lollipopguild
@NotMax: The second “H” is silent.
lollipopguild
@SiubhanDuinne: How much can Andrea can if Andrea could can-can?
p.a.
My god, in that closer bowl… can it be… Cole’s mustard!!?? ?
Roger Moore
@SiubhanDuinne:
Can Andrea Mitchell be so mighty as to lay low the mountains of the Earth?
SiubhanDuinne
@Roger Moore:
Aha, I knew somebody here besides me could recite Beyond the Fringe routines from memory! Just didn’t know who would be first to step up!
P.S. No. She will not be so mighty as all that. That is why we have come up on the mountains, you silly nit.
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinne
Yup. To think they paid someone to print it…
BillinGlendaleCA
@p.a.: There is no mustard, it’s just a myth.
laura
@rikyrah: that special sorta greasy-stale.
Emma
@Mnemosyne: We had a Christmas potluck last week that looked better than that!
gbbalto
Unfortunately, it is conceivable that Trump thought he was offering a really good spread…
Steeplejack (phone)
@SiubhanDuinne:
I was talking about me, not the tablet. Although I do tend to prefer portrait mode there, too.
Sab
@MomSense: Who was “he”? Mike Allen or Jim Vandehei?
SiubhanDuinne
@Steeplejack (phone):
Ah. If you had posted that at coffee time, I expect I would have got it. At Wine-thirty, not so much.
stinger
@beth: It looks almost exactly like the spread my company did for employees having their 5, 10, 15, and 20-year work anniversaries. Plus we got framed certificates.
The Lodger
@BillinGlendaleCA: The mustard is a lie.
Amaranthine RBG
You know what, making fun of Trump for being a tasteless boor isn’t going to do shit to change anything.
Just like the hundreds of thousands of blog posts and news stories about what a tasteless boor he was didn’t change anyone’s vote.
Mnemosyne
@Amaranthine RBG:
So what? Fuck off back under your rock and let people snark if they feel like it.
Amaranthine RBG
@Mnemosyne:
People like you are the reason Hillary lost.
Wake up.
Lurking Canadian
@Amaranthine RBG: Yes, the exit polls were clear on the sovereign importance of cold cuts on a stale Kaiser.