• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No one could have predicted…

I was promised a recession.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Everybody saw this coming.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

This really is a full service blog.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Infrastructure week. at last.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

“woke” is the new caravan.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

People are complicated. Love is not.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

We still have time to mess this up!

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / 2016 Will Never Fucking End

2016 Will Never Fucking End

by John Cole|  December 30, 20165:11 pm| 47 Comments

This post is in: Serenity Now!

FacebookTweetEmail

There have been nothing but issues with the counters and sink and the shower door and I have been bitching up a storm to my mom, and she texted me that a tree had fallen on my younger brother’s house.

I am going to bed, because I may have to head down and make decisions regarding his house since he is away on vacation, the power company won’t touch the tree because the homeowner is not there, and the insurance agent is no doubt just scheming up ways to figure out how to fuck him.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « The Water’s Edge
Next Post: Open Thread: Think Good Thoughts! »

Reader Interactions

47Comments

  1. 1.

    Irony Abounds

    December 30, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    All the bad luck goes away at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve. Or so I am deeply hoping. Otherwise I’m fucked.

    On edit: Sorry about your 2016 and your brother’s house. Damn trees.

  2. 2.

    Suzanne

    December 30, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Holy SHIT. Thank God or FSM or whatever that he wasn’t there. From the tone of this post, it seems no one was hurt. Small blessings.

  3. 3.

    Trentrunner

    December 30, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    Is this post from the future? Because…

  4. 4.

    Suzanne

    December 30, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    @Irony Abounds: Me too. Fuck this fucking year. Thank FSM for Vicodin.

  5. 5.

    Shell

    December 30, 2016 at 5:16 pm

    Umm, isn’t it still 2016?

  6. 6.

    WJS

    December 30, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    That tree looks like it fell from someone else’s property onto the house–isn’t the owner of that property liable here? And it looks like it was a dead tree or one that was on its way to being dead that should have been taken down.

    I used to have 15 trees on my lot and whenever there were high winds, I used to have minor panic attacks. So glad I got rid of that property.

    Oh, damn. When I clicked on the image, you can clearly see it damaged the roof. Hope it’s not too bad.

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    December 30, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    I know that some people will dislike it because she was still a theist when she wrote the book, but Julia Sweeney’s memoir God Said, “Ha!” is still one of my favorite books about coping with tragedy. Her brother is diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma and then, about halfway through, she herself is diagnosed with cervical cancer. Being the kind of family they are (i.e. like mine), he immediately starts riding her for trying to steal the cancer spotlight from him. It’s obviously a very sad book by definition, but it’s also very funny.

    (There’s also a film of her one-woman show that was produced by her buddy Quentin Tarantino, but I think the book is a little better because it has some extra stories in it.)

  8. 8.

    Chris

    December 30, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    Smegging hell!

  9. 9.

    JPL

    December 30, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    @Shell: 2017 will live forever on his twitter feed. Fortunately he fixed the date here though.

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne

    December 30, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    @Trentrunner:
    @Shell:

    If Cole is psychic, we’re all fucked.

  11. 11.

    Larkspur

    December 30, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    This is a bad thing to have happened and going to bed with your animals around you (hopefully behaving supportively) is a good idea. You’ll re-charge, and then you and your family and (I hope) some nice neighbors will deal with the thing and it’ll be okay. Maybe your brother will have to come stay with you for a few nights, and you can put him to work helping you. And then let Steve interview you both (with pix) and it will be heartwarming and amusing – hell, it’ll be highlarious and in the end everything will be fine. Trust me. I has a feeling about this. One foot/paw in front of the other, and show your work (with the pix). It will be okay.

  12. 12.

    satby

    December 30, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    Well, the larger body of the tree could have hit and messed up the roof trusses like my house was, but this looks like Seth will still have some roof resheathing and gutter repair, bad but not catastrophic hopefully. His insurance should handle it and go after the tree owner’s insurance, or at least that’s how it was handled when the tree demolished the garage at my son’s house in Chicago.
    The good thing is that no one was there or parked in that road to get hurt or killed. Everything else can be repaired.

  13. 13.

    Another Scott

    December 30, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    Yikes! :-( It looks like it could have been much worse (if the previously removed branches had been there, but as mentioned above it looks like the tree should have been taken down long ago). It doesn’t look too bad to these eyes, but the damage at Satby’s house didn’t look that bad to these eyes either … :-(

    Fingers crossed.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  14. 14.

    Betty Cracker

    December 30, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    Holy hell! Glad no one was hurt!

    @WJS: Not necessarily. A neighbor’s dead pine tree crushed my sister’s pool cage during one of the aught-4 hurricanes, and she (my sis) was on the hook for 100% of the cost.

  15. 15.

    RepubAnon

    December 30, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    @Chris: 2016: the year we got Arnold Rimmer as President…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4TLto-nKfU

  16. 16.

    crawdad

    December 30, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Insurance agents don’t fuck their customers. That’s what claims adjusters are for.

  17. 17.

    Yarrow

    December 30, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    I saw this post when it said “2017 will never end” and I thought, “Yeah…” That is just sad.

    Sorry about your brother’s house. What a pain. And what an end to an awful, awful year. I hope you can get it sorted fairly easily.

  18. 18.

    Yarrow

    December 30, 2016 at 5:49 pm

    @Suzanne: How’s your finger today? Did you get any sleep?

  19. 19.

    Ruckus

    December 30, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    @crawdad:
    Priorities man, priorities.

  20. 20.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 30, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    Sun setting on 2016 in Downtown LA.

  21. 21.

    Suzanne

    December 30, 2016 at 6:00 pm

    @Yarrow: I got some sleep, not awesome. It hurts more today. I am trying not to take too many painkillers, but I also do not believe in suffering.

  22. 22.

    Larkspur

    December 30, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    @Yarrow: Yeah, Suzanne, I was wondering how you’re doing as well. I hope the pain pills help with that nasty throbbing pain you get especially with hurt fingers and toes. I’ll bet you said some very rude things when the sledding disaster happened. I don’t know how old your kids are. Were they shocked or were they busy recording it on their phones?

  23. 23.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    December 30, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Thank you for the cheery picture, my friend whose 2017 birthday is also ruined.

  24. 24.

    HRA

    December 30, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    I don’t see any branches on that tree. Was someone getting ready to take it down or in the process and it fell the wrong way? We had 8 big trees taken down this past summer and ended up with 3 different companies to finish it. I can’t even talk about why. It was such a mess.

    I hope all gets straightened out at the house for you, John.
    HRA

  25. 25.

    Mnemosyne

    December 30, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    @Suzanne:

    The trick with painkillers is to take them on schedule to keep the pain at bay. If you wait until it starts hurting again, the pain will be worse and then you take too many trying to get it to go back down.

  26. 26.

    Larkspur

    December 30, 2016 at 6:04 pm

    @Suzanne: Yep, broken bones and lacerated flesh is what pain pills are made for. Suffering does not make you a finer citizen. Just be kind to yourself.

  27. 27.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    December 30, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q): Ah, that’s right, we share a b-day. This one will be sucky.

    ETA: Last year I went hiking in Griffith Park so I could see the hospital were I was born(and got some good pics as part of the deal). I may repeat that hike.

  28. 28.

    Yarrow

    December 30, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    @Suzanne: Yeah, sometimes the second day is worse. Did they mention icing it at all to keep the swelling down? I don’t know if that would be advised or not.

    Take the painkillers and keep the pain under control. Apparently it’s better to keep the pain under control than it is to let it go and then have to bring it back under control again. It’s easier on your body and brain if you keep the pain down in the first place. See – all the excuse you need to use the good stuff!

  29. 29.

    Calming Influence

    December 30, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    Having had a 200 foot Doug Fir fall from my property directly onto my neighbor’s rental, I’m comfortable classifying what happened to your brother’s house as a “twig incident”.

    Couple 2-buck Walmart tarps and you’re good to go.

  30. 30.

    ThresherK

    December 30, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    Sweet babby cheeses. I had run out of words with Carrie Fisher. Best to you brother.

  31. 31.

    mai naem mobile

    December 30, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    John – take lots of pics when you get there for insurance purposes in case they try to screw your brother.

  32. 32.

    Calming Influence

    December 30, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    @Calming Influence: Went to the file cabinet just to make sure I had the numbers right: our insurance (Farmers, god bless them) paid out $131,000.

    ETA: and no, I don’t live in a elite enclave. It was just a big fucking tree that hit an average rental house.

  33. 33.

    debbie

    December 30, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA:

    That graffiti is a great touch.

  34. 34.

    Mart

    December 30, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    Borrowed a buddies SUV to take daughters stuff to college. 300 year old neighbors tree, ID’d by a tree company as having a dangerous crown and rotted interior crashed down. It destroyed a Camry, Mercedes, Saub, Corvette, and Cadillac. (Cars included mine, a friend visiting for the weekend, and his mother’s.) Amazingly just missed major damage to the house. Neighbor’s insurance did not pay. He lied and said there was a terrible storm and wind blew it down. Ten minutes before it dropped I was having a beer on the driveway with no wind at all. Never figure out how insurance works.

  35. 35.

    Suzanne

    December 30, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    @Larkspur: Actually, I didn’t say a whole lot. I think I just said, “Ow. OW.” My kids full-on freaked out, as did a couple of spectators. There was kind of a lot of blood—I got it all over the snow and my other hand and my clothes, so I can see why they were so freaked out. They didn’t record it, and they didn’t take pictures until it was cleaned up and stitched. It’s bandaged and splinted now, so you can’t see it.

    It happened up in Flagstaff, and we live in Phoenix, which is about a three-hour drive. So I drove home last night, and everything was fine. My hand was numb from the numbing shot. I didn’t want to take anything until we got home. So I was feeling good, until we got to about Northern Avenue, and then the numbing stuff wore off suddenly. So I drove the last 25 minutes gritting my teeth like sumbitch.

  36. 36.

    trollhattan

    December 30, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    @Irony Abounds:
    Declaring myself a Kiwi so 2017 gets here 20 hours sooner

  37. 37.

    CaseyL

    December 30, 2016 at 6:55 pm

    That’s a very strange photo, perspective-wise. The tree looks like it fell from waayyy across the street. Like it really had it in for your brother’s house. So glad he wasn’t in there at the time!

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Gorgeous!

  38. 38.

    Cynn

    December 30, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    I’m organizing a bonfire party tomorrow. Everyone brings their 2016 wall calendars, appointment books, desk calendars, and any generally irritating crap reminiscent of ’16. At 11:00pm, everyone tosses their stuff into the fire so this detestable year cannot sneak back. Burn, baby burn with cocktails!

  39. 39.

    Mnemosyne

    December 30, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Well, fuck. I just found out that Tyrus Wong, an old-time Disney artist I was acquainted with, has died. He was 106, so it’s not a shock, but … fuck 2016. Fuck it right in the ear.

    Here’s a website with a bio and some of his artwork from a recent exhibition.

  40. 40.

    Pogonip

    December 30, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Sorry to hear you cut your hand, Suzanne.

    I am unhappy about Seth’s house but glad he wasn’t hurt.

  41. 41.

    Larkspur

    December 30, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    @Suzanne: I am sending hugs to your kids, since you need to be careful of full-on hugs till your finger heals. That reminds me: I’m not a health care professional, so my experience is limited, but when I get hurt and it involves bleeding, I get nauseated and light-headed. But I’m able to help just fine when it’s other people’s blood. It’s a more useful set of reactions, but also more embarrassing. I’m guessing you know your own reactions pretty well: you have kids and I don’t. You have much more refined disaster-reaction sensibilities.

  42. 42.

    HinTN

    December 30, 2016 at 8:01 pm

    @Cynn: Where yat?

  43. 43.

    EBT

    December 30, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    What else can I say. https://twitter.com/Ukrainolution/status/814536941177860100/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

  44. 44.

    M. Bouffant

    December 30, 2016 at 9:52 pm

    @BillinGlendaleCA: Excellent. Near where that poor woman went through the 3rd St. guardrail & down a level onto the Freeway, innit? (‘Though you may be a day ahead of yourself, but not as far off as ol’ J.C.)

  45. 45.

    M. Bouffant

    December 30, 2016 at 10:07 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Pix of T.W. on his last few birthdays.

  46. 46.

    WJS

    December 30, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    @Betty Cracker: That’s awful. Insurance should have covered it, if she had had coverage for that sort of thing.

  47. 47.

    Just Some Fuckhead

    December 31, 2016 at 11:46 am

    Insurance agents will tell you everything is covered becuase they are working for you. It’s the claim adjuster who will screw you sideways for a nickel because they are working for the underwriter.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • SFAW on Repub Enablement Open Thread: The NYTimes Has *CONCERNS* (Apr 1, 2023 @ 4:01pm)
  • SFAW on Repub Enablement Open Thread: The NYTimes Has *CONCERNS* (Apr 1, 2023 @ 3:59pm)
  • JPL on Repub Enablement Open Thread: The NYTimes Has *CONCERNS* (Apr 1, 2023 @ 3:52pm)
  • JPL on Repub Enablement Open Thread: The NYTimes Has *CONCERNS* (Apr 1, 2023 @ 3:50pm)
  • Baud on Repub Enablement Open Thread: The NYTimes Has *CONCERNS* (Apr 1, 2023 @ 3:49pm)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup coming up on April 4!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!