Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

The new republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

… looking like a winsome Bee Gee who has stumbled into teaching geography

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

… gradually, and then suddenly.

RIP Zandar. We are still here fighting the stupid, now in your honor.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

If you are still in the GOP, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Late Night/Early Morning Open Thread: Pennsylvania Woman Edition

Late Night/Early Morning Open Thread: Pennsylvania Woman Edition

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Don’t do this!

YORK, Pa. (AP) — Police say a Pennsylvania woman drove into a river to avoid arrest, then ignored officers and continued drinking beer as she floated in the vehicle.

The York Daily Record (http://bit.ly/2hTLfyY ) reports police approached the woman near a boat launch Monday to arrest her for fleeing from them earlier. She was wanted for running a stop sign.

They say she hit the gas and barreled into the Susquehanna (suhs-kwuh-HAN’-uh) River.

They say officers tried to communicate with her, but she just ignored them and drank her beer.

A fire department boat brought the woman back to shore.

The woman was taken to York Hospital and police continue to investigate. Her name hasn’t been released.

I used to live about 40 minutes or so from where that picture is and have driven on that road along the Susquehanna.

Finally, as I wrote in comments earlier: I’m breaking newsed out!

Reader Interactions

110Comments

  4. 4.

    Big R

    Not gonna lie, I expected the picture to be of the car floating down the river. Kinda disappointed it wasn’t.

  6. 6.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I wonder if she’s related to the Florida woman Adam featured the other day, the one who was giving herself a bikini shave while behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

  9. 9.

    Suzanne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    giving herself a bikini shave while behind the wheel of a moving vehicle

    Exqueeze me? How is that even POSSIBLE? I mean, she could NOT have been doing a full Brazilian.

  16. 16.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Suzanne:

    The beauty part is, she HAD to shave right then because she was on her way to meet her boyfriend. But because she was totes safety-minded, she had her ex-husband steer the car while her hands were otherwise occupied.

    Thass right.

  17. 17.

    Suzanne

    @efgoldman: If it involves ass shaving, it could not have happened while driving. I mean, COME ON. That kind of thing is just for Cole cats.

  20. 20.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: Okay, I just found it in the original post. I think I’ve spent too much time staring at my computer screen today…

  23. 23.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Adam L Silverman: I try to be helpful.

    @SiubhanDuinne: My ex sent me a X-mas gift the year we were getting divorced and birthday and X-mas greetings for several years hence. I sent no present and acknowledged her b-day out of .. AI don’t know, not being rude or some such… She was in town once and I had coffee with her and drove her to the airport. I didn’t want to be an asshole. Holding the wheel while…. Dear god.

  24. 24.

    Mnemosyne

    I doubt anyone else is in the mood to keep talking about the report released today, but …

    I keep seeing people on the left saying things like, Well, sure, the CIA is corroborating this, but didn’t we all learn from Iraq not to trust the CIA?

    And I have to say, no, that’s not what we should have learned from the Iraq fiasco. What we should have learned was to trust the available evidence rather than CIA. Only an idiot thinks the lesson was that we should ignore publicly available evidence if the CIA’s conclusion agrees with that same evidence. That’s the reaction of a sulky five-year-old, not an adult.

  27. 27.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    I’ve driven through York too many times. My favorite part is the big dumbbell guy on top of a store roof on 83.

  28. 28.

    Suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: I have to see my ex-husband approximately twice a month for about ten minutes at a time, while exchanging Spawn or discussing any parenting matters, and it makes me want to hurl. Cannot even imagine having him hold the wheel while shaving my chonch. Makes me completely shut down, a la Maeve.

  29. 29.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Mnemosyne: Probably. The CIA followed the international inspectors are finding nothing logic. Cheney’s alt intel said other things. Things people wanted to hear.

  32. 32.

    WJS

    If you spill your beer while driving, it’s a tragedy.

    If you have to deal with the cops, that’s a situation.

    If you end up being pulled from a river that you drove into on purpose by the fire department, that’s freedom.

    Did they find her handgun in her purse and give it back to her when she left jail? That’s America, right there.

  33. 33.

    Suzanne

    @Omnes Omnibus: Oh HELL no. It’s too great to fall into the black hole of bad taste. Kind of like the two-wetsuits-and-a-dildo or Cole driving his car into a field or shaving the cat’s ass. These are the kinds of stories that will live on.

  36. 36.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: @Mnemosyne: Just briefly, here’s the shorthand of the Iraq WMD mess. 1) State’s Intelligence and Research Section (INR, which is the State Department’s in house intel shop, its small) indicated no to low confidence on the Iraqi WMD stuff. 2) The CIA folks indicated low confidence. 3) The Office of Special Plans and the Office of the Vice President, neither of which are Intel operations nor staffed by Intel officers, pushed and pushed and pushed, especially on the 15 Intel agencies that fall under DOD, for their finding of high confidence. 4) In support of 3, they leaked their BS analysis to Judith Miller who worked it into her reporting at the NY Times. 5) VP Cheney then quoted Miller’s reporting to reinforce his assertions publicly and the Office of Special Plans folks and his own staff cited it in their analyses and arguments within the IC. 6) Having effectively muddied the waters, worked the refs, so to speak, in the news media and Congress, and broken the Intel cycle, VP Cheney basically got his way. The NIE was revised upward to moderate to high confidence depending on the specific finding.

    The actual analysts at the CIA, as well as State’s INR, did their jobs and did them correctly. As did the Senior Analysts that act as a buffer between the analysts, the political appointees and the decision makers. The breakdown came at the political appointee and decision maker levels. They were unable to withstand the pressure coming from OSD-Special Plans and the Office of the VP.

  42. 42.

    kdaug

    Stipulated that I’m male, and disinclined towards shaving anyway…

    Isn’t it the thing where you just pour hot candle wax on your crotch and then rip it off really fast? For reasons?

  44. 44.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: That’s actually covered in item 6. Its one of the ways they broke the Intel Cycle. The other was having the raw Intel provided directly to OSD-Special Plans and to the Office of the VP. You never give folks not trained in analytic methods the raw Intel. I’m trained as an all source and open source analyst, though a good chunk of what I do at the tactical level is what the Brits call cultural intelligence. We chose not to call it that because: 1) we didn’t want to upset the anthropologists, which didn’t actually work, they are still pissed and 2) we don’t have anyone anywhere doing cultural intelligence, the Open Source folks claim that’s part of what they do, but its not. I tend to call it cultural operations because it involves being collector (human sensor), researcher, and analyst. Though a lot of that would now be covered under the new, 7th Warfighting Function, which is called Engagement.

  45. 45.

    Omnes Omnibus

    The actual analysts at the CIA, as well as State’s INR, did their jobs and did them correctly. As did the Senior Analysts that act as a buffer between the analysts, the political appointees and the decision makers. The breakdown came at the political appointee and decision maker levels. They were unable to withstand the pressure coming from OSD-Special Plans and the Office of the VP.

    No disagreement.

  46. 46.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mnemosyne: Those people do not know what they are talking about. They have very strongly held beliefs and opinions, but not facts. In this case they are simply wrong.

  47. 47.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Major Major Major Major: Bite your tongue!!!!!

    Actually, I’m signing off in a few. I’m pooped, its been storming here – heavy rain, thunder, and lightning – the southern end of the cold front that’s afflicting everyone else, so the dogs need extra belly rubs.

  49. 49.

    Suzanne

    @kdaug: That’s waxing, not shaving.

    @Mnemosyne: There are stupid people on our side, too. I can’t handle that level of stupidity. I do not have expertise in intelligence matters, so I come here, and other places, so I can read Adam and others to inform me. And since I don’t know things, I shut up. There’s a lot of dumbasses on the left who could learn that.

  57. 57.

    Suzanne

    @Adam L Silverman: I read you and others, and I don’t only read this site, or only left-wing media. My expertise is in design and architecture and urbanism, not war strategy or intelligence. So often I read without commenting. There are plenty of things that I am not informed enough about to hold a meaningful opinion.

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne

    @Suzanne:

    There are plenty of things that I am not informed enough about to hold a meaningful opinion.

    That never stops the rest of us, so I don’t know why you would feel shy. ?

  64. 64.

    Mnemosyne

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I still think the reason the ex-husband wasn’t driving was that he had his license taken away after too many DUIs.

    ETA: To be clear, this is an educated guess, not something based on any actual facts.

  70. 70.

    Mel

    @Suzanne:
    This story makes me think of an event witnessed in a dive bar bathroom in rural Florida while I was visiting a friend who was working at U. of F. at the time. Friend and I are standing by the sinks, discussing where to go to get something to eat. Crowd of incredibly inebriated ladies stagger in and head in to bathroom stalls.

    Blood curdling screams erupt from one stall, and one woman bursts out of the stall, still clutchung her pitcher of beer, screaming, “I need some Bactine!! Who’s got some damn Bactine?!?”

    Apparently she had put on a super heavy duty Maxi Pad BACKWARDS, and accidentally gave herself a reverse Brazilian when she tried to remove it.

    For years afterwards, “Who’s got some damn Bactine?!” was code for any sort of personal grooming Darwin Awards moment.

  72. 72.

    Suzanne

    @Mel: BWAHAHAAHAAAAAAA.

    Oh LORT.
    Oversharing, but whatever. I finally had enough of waxing last year, and bought a laser hair removal package. I went in for a treatment today. One is supposed to shave before getting lasered to make it hurt less, but due to my FUBARed hand, I could not. So let’s just say….OW.

  73. 73.

    opiejeanne

    @Suzanne: Yes, Happy Birthday.

    I guess I need to find something else to do until I can fall asleep because it’s only 11:07pm here and everyone else has punked out.

  74. 74.

    Yarrow

    @Suzanne: Happy Birthday! And ouch! That sounds like it hurt. At least you weren’t asking your ex to laser you while you drove. See…could be worse.

  75. 75.

    Betty Cracker

    Damn tornado watch alerts on my phone woke me up. Very unpleasant sound.

    Adam, there was an incident 10 years or more ago that I read about in the Tribune (back when it arrived at my house printed on paper) in which a woman left Ybor City in the wee hours and made her way to Channel Drive, only she didn’t turn — she drove into the canal where the freighters dock. She swam out of her sinking car and across the canal (it’s a wide canal!), hoisted herself up on a tugboat and then made her way to a phone, where she called her mother in Plant City to come pick her up. The next day, she reported what had happened. A crane had to be used to retrieve her car because the canal is so deep. The cops suspected she was driving drunk but couldn’t prove it.

  77. 77.

    mai naem mobile

    Heads the Republicans win,tails they win too. They fuck up the intelligence in 01-03 and they use that to justify to ignore professionals in 2016-17. This is pissing me off to no end. They never fucking pay for shitting the bed and the fucking Dems are supposed to clean the shat on bed. How the fuck is it normal to call PEOTUS instead of POTUS when there’s a major incident at your fucking aurport and the FBI is involved? Fuck these people. I want to fucking move to California and just fucking secede. Jeff Sessions can shove his shithole moocher state up his ass.

  78. 78.

    Mel

    @Suzanne:
    Ouch!! I sympathize!!

    I have a device with the cutesy name “Epilady”. Try as they might, no amount of clever naming or sleek design can distract from the fact that the thing belongs in the accoutrements of a medieval torture chamber. It’s basically a giant motorized tweezer that viciously rips out hundreds of hairs all at once. It works pretty well, but that is cancelled out by the fact that it takes days to work up the nerve to endure the thing!

  79. 79.

    Larkspur

    @Suzanne: Hey, Suzanne, my memory sucks and I tried to look up the older post but it was taking too long, but anyway, wasn’t it you whose finger got mangled in that sledding mishap, broken finger and umpteen stitches? If it was you, you’re still here and typing, so that’s good news. I hope it is healing up well. Does it still hurt? And if it wasn’t you, could the actual sledding survivor please let me know how she’s doing? I has a concern for others, now and then.

  80. 80.

    Yarrow

    @Betty Cracker: Stay safe, BC. As for the phone alert waking you up, just wait until Trump is president and he can sent texts to every cell phone. And you cannot block the number. Won’t that be fun.

  81. 81.

    seaboogie

    @Suzanne: Searching for a linky to wish you a Happy Birthday – the laser one was nearest and latest. Wishing you a 2017 like it was 2014 (for all of us), but without your personal stuff you were dealing with then.

    Fuck 2017 – it’s really hard to know what to do anymore. It’s like wrestling a greased pig that was fed on ‘roids and drank the heavy water from a nuclear power plant – even bacon doesn’t sound very good anymore.

    There’s some hopeful happy for you riding just under that, a purposeful swimmer that is treading water and catching breath…

  83. 83.

    Larkspur

    @Mel: Oh dear lord. I am happy I don’t have to report any such story but I did have one day at work when I was annoyed because my stupid thong underpants were just so uncomfortable. Late in the morning I went to the restroom and discovered that I’d put my underpants on sideways. I hate thongs, never wore em again. The world can just deal with my visible panty lines.

  84. 84.

    mai naem mobile

    @Suzanne: Happy Birthday. Hope this year is better than last year. If the laser hurts that much and there’s a doc or NP at the laser center have them write you a script for lidocaine cream. You put a little on around the areas getting done and it works. The small tub should be enough to last you through all the treatments.

  85. 85.

    Betty Cracker

    @Yarrow: I read something about that. The people of the USA seem to be a complacent lot, as they continue to binge-watch shows on Netflix, dine on buckets of fried chicken and swill down liters of Pepsi even as the unhinged, corrupt stooge of a foreign dictator prepares to replace an actual American president. But if anything could make them arise from their sofas, take up pitchforks and torches and march on the White House to depose Cheeto Benito, it would be the commandeering of their smartphones. He abuses that privilege at his peril.

  87. 87.

    Yarrow

    @Betty Cracker: I agree. I just can’t decide if he’ll figure that out. The promoting-Trump side of him should know that it’s the kind of thing that will piss people off. But that same side may think it’s an awesome way to tell people how great he’s going to make America again. Plus the power trip – being able to send texts that people can’t block has to be a big power trip.

    I’m sure some people on his staff will know it’s a bad idea. But does he listen to anyone? Could anyone stop him?

  88. 88.

    Larkspur

    Oops, my comment got ate, so let me just wish you a happy birthday, Suzanne, and I just realized from your comment that you did indeed get your finger mangled by a rogue sled, and I hope the coming year will be gentler on you.

  89. 89.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Mel:

    it takes days to work up the nerve to endure the thing!

    That’s the story of getting phase II of my tat done.

  92. 92.

    Dog Dawg Damn

    @BillinGlendaleCA: But yeah, the Intelligence Community is real. We depend on their trust, and the trust of their assets and potential assets, to gather intelligence that keeps us safe.

    Can you imagine if Obama or Clinton had mocked them like this? The outrage?

    Everyone is all debating whether they are correct–and overlooking that his response is completely insane.

  95. 95.

    Betty Cracker

    @Yarrow: It is hard to imagine a compulsive over-sharer and power-tripper resisting the temptation for his entire term. He’ll probably use it in some super-obnoxious, self-aggrandizing way too. God, it’s going to be a long four years. Hopefully fewer, but better count on four. Ugh.

  97. 97.

    Betty Cracker

    @BillinGlendaleCA & @Major Major Major Major: My daughter immediately rushed out and got a tattoo when she turned 18 this summer, then got a second and third one, and now she’s like a tattoo evangelist, trying to talk all un-inked family members into also getting tattoos, no matter how old or disinclined. The prospect of needles keeps me away.

  98. 98.

    Yarrow

    @Betty Cracker: Yeah, I don’t see how he can resist. I can’t decide if he’ll do it right away because he’s convinced it’s an awesome way to talk directly to his supporters and get revenge on his haters, or if he’ll wait. I can imagine six months down the line if things aren’t going well he might decide to pull it out thinking, “If I just send a text or five to everyone in America then they’ll like me.”

  99. 99.

    BillinGlendaleCA

    @Betty Cracker: The kid got her tat when she first went into the Air Force. When she got it, she said if she changed her mind, she could get it removed. Having been through nursing school, she understands that that is neither inexpensive or painless.

    Some people like the process, they also like pain in other parts of their life.

    ETA: Some folk like to get the intricate and colorful tats, they don’t end up intricate or colorful for very long. The color fades and starts to run together over time.

  101. 101.

    Mel

    @Larkspur:

    Oh, the joy of wardrobe malfunctions!

    I once wore two different shoes to a “Meet the Teacher” night, my first week as a first year teacher.

    The building was old and had poor ventilation and no air conditioning, so everyone wore comfortable clothes during the day, but brought dressy clothes to change into for events.

    At 6 am, went to get a pair of sensible heels out of the back of the dark closet. Curious cat jumped from my shoulder onto the shelf, knocking all shoes off. Grabbed what I thought was a matched pair, stuffed shoes and good suit into tote bag.

    Fast forward to evening, 15 minutes before the tours and meet and greets were to begin. Went to change, and discovered that the matched set was indeed two very different shoes.
    Left shoe: sedate navy pump with a dainty little grosgrain bow and a chunky 1.5 inch heel.
    Right shoe: black patent leather platform with a rhinestone buckle and a 3″ stiletto heel. I walked like a peg-legged pirate all evening.

    It looked like the left foot was headed home for a cozy afghan, tea and reruns of “Murder, She Wrote”, and the right foot was headed to the off-license liquor store and a Motley Crue concert.

  104. 104.

    Betty Cracker

    @Mel: Ha! I once accidentally wore a black loafer and a dark brown loafer to work. Your mishap was much worse!

  107. 107.

    bemused

    @Betty Cracker:

    When tattoos come up in conversation, one word comes to my mind…gravity. Gravity has it’s way with tattoos especially in more fleshy areas. Also, wrinkling.

    One of the strangest tattoos I’ver ever seen was a young gal who had a tattoo circling the back of her elbow joint. It’s been quite awhile but I think it was a heart. I kept imagining how that tattoo would look as she ages and her elbow has a lot more wrinkly folds.

  110. 110.

    Suzanne

    @Larkspur: Awww thanks. Yes, it was me with the FUBAR finger. It is doing much better. Doctor says it is healing well and is not infected. I had been keeping it splinted and covered, and now she wants me to let it get air some of the time so the skin will dry out.

    And thanks to all for the birthday wishes. I am feeling pretty optimistic about this year, despite the obvious orange problem. Last year was just the pits. But this one is going to be great—it has been DECIDED.

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