Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

In after Baud. Damn.

Giving up is unforgivable.

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. do not touch it.”

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Fight them, without becoming them!

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / WE HAVE MATTRESS

Reader Interactions

76Comments

  2. 2.

    MomSense

    Please make sure they deliver it to your bedroom. Having carried mattresses up old house stairs, please spare yourself agony and death and pay to have that sucker delivered.

    Congrats, John. Nothing quite like that first sleep in your own bed in your own house. It’s probably because of the exhaustion, but still it’s a great sleep.

  3. 3.

    Corner Stone

    DAMMIT. I thought I had missed Breaking News! that video had been released of the alleged acts.

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    Then I get here and see the thread is ruined because the first comment takes away the best line of jokes to be made otherwise.

  6. 6.

    Mobile RoonieRoo

    Now all the page ads are for mattresses and hospital beds. I guess the hospital bed comes after Cole falls down the stairs trying to get the mattress up the stairs?

  7. 7.

    leeleeFl

    @Mobile RoonieRoo: Thank FSM for you people. I only laugh here and with my Daughter. Despondency is not my normal state, but Politics and work are conspiring against me. Please don’t get hurt John. Enjoy your new bed and your beautiful house. (Where did you get your mattress. I need a new one!)

  9. 9.

    Tom Levenson

    Appropriate timing. Lots of folks will be going to the mattresses over the next few days.

  11. 11.

    hovercraft

    Congrats !

    But I must say you front pagers need to stop toying with my emotions. Yesterday I thought there was another shooting, now here I am getting ready with my rolling pin, to go to the mattresses and it’s just you celebrating a delivery!

  12. 12.

    J R in WV

    Congratulations!

    Now, if you have to, you can live there, running water, heat, a new bed, ready for occupancy if necessary!

    Know youens thot it would never happen, but here you are!! Be careful with that freezing rain and such!

  13. 13.

    hovercraft

    @p.a.:
    I feel you, if there is a single person responsible for what has befallen our nation not named Vladamir, his name is James Fuckin Comey. I actually wish him personal harm, I want him to suffer personally for what he has done. People will die because of his actions, people are suffering because of what he did, I hope he has endless sleepless nights and experiences some of their pain. What he did was evil because he allowed evil to overtake our country. He deserves to personally feel the pain that he has inflicted on the rest of us. He likes to think of himself as an honorable man, but I hope that the fact that he is no longer respected eats at him, he is now just another partisan hack who sold his country out for partisan gain. Yes he should DIAF, but even that may be too good and quick a death for him.

  14. 14.

    pamelabrown53

    Hope your new mattress, John, provides years of improved sleep. What kind is it? Mattress shopping is the absolute worst for me. There seems to be such divergence in consumer reports and industry analysis and reporting on the subject that mattress research sucks me into a maelstrom of contradictions. Actually, we could use use a new mattress/(box springs?) but I’m overwhelmed by the claims and counterclaims.

  16. 16.

    Diana

    Glad to hear it. A client that I’d written off unexpectly made a payment to my paypal account, and since it was a windfall I turned around and tossed it to you. I mostly just lurk here, but I really appreciate this site, and given the new administration unfortunately I expect to appreciate it a lot more in the next few years.

    Oh, and keep Steve in the new house once you move. If he disappears after you move go check around the old house. Cats understand the concept of territory, moving not so much. They have a very feudal view of the world, and view the idea of alienation of land the same way as the Normans who made it illegal to sell.

  17. 17.

    CarolDuhart2

    Things are going on this weekend!

    First #DNCForum, the #weshallnotbemoved march in DC

    And with Trump, every weekend will be an activist weekend. For some it will become an everyday thing, others a career, and still others a life well lived.

    Indeed, I think the Republican Party will badly regret the day it ever decided to mollify Orange Cheeto. It’s created a largely unified force of Democratic opposition-which opposition will lead the rest of the world to fight back against the neo-right.

    Someone else (Bush, Kasich) might have recieved muted opposition. Obamacare might have died a death of a thousand cuts over a decade or so. Things might have been snipped away gradually. But Trump has made everybody come out for the fight.

    more going on this weekend:

    https://twitter.com/hashtag/heretostay?src=hash

  18. 18.

    CarolDuhart2

    By the way, have someone not only deliver the mattress to your new home, but set it up in your bedroom, frame and all.

  19. 19.

    Bobby D

    For the SoCal crowd: Sit-N-Sleep
    “We’ll Beat Anyone’s Advertised Price, Or Your Mattress is Peeed!!!”
    “Yer killin’ me Larry!”

  21. 21.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    @hovercraft:

    I hear ya, but the rise of Trump has been a long effort. Many hands are dirty, including those who allowed bigotry to become acceptable–people like Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity… the people who bankrolled and groomed those people, such as the Kochs and Murdoch. And, of course, the people who now defend and explain, your Conways and Carsons, Cruzes and Bannons.

    May they all know humiliations galore.

  25. 25.

    Aleta

    @Diana:

    They have a very feudal view of the world, and view the idea of alienation of land the same way as the Normans who made it illegal to sell.

    This explains why my cats turn cardboard boxes into castle keeps, and think the couch is a defensive earthwork.

  26. 26.

    Hillary Rettig

    @pamelabrown53: I know. There’s something really weird and laborious about the mattress industry and its sales pitches that you don’t even find in cars or other expensive consumer items.

  29. 29.

    greennotGreen

    I have a memory foam mattress that I got at Costco, and I really like it, but I like a firm mattress. It may be too firm for some folks. I wanted to switch from a full to a queen when I moved into my new house because I sleep with five toy dogs, and I was tired of being shunted over on one edge of the bed. Surprise!. I’m still shunted over on one side of the bed, but the dogs have more room.

  31. 31.

    J R in WV

    We tried one of those top-rated memory foam beds. I prefer to sleep on my side, and woke up over and over lying on my back. Eventually I began waking up with a little soreness in my lower back, which increased slowly but unmistakably. Since I am prone to low back muscle spasms (very bad thing!) I said, we gotta get a real mattress, and we moved the Tempur-pedic to the guest room.

    But now these “pillow-top” mattresses don’t allow you to turn a mattress, so they’re half as good as they were. The current top name high priced bed seems to be OK so far, after several years now. Wondering if the plastic foam in the expensive but rarely used bed in the guest room is degrading and outgassing…

    So, yes, grrrr at the whole bedding industry – coniving thieves.

  33. 33.

    greennotGreen

    I suspect mattresses are like spaghetti sauce – to each his own. (That is, I like my spaghetti sauce best because I make it to my taste. Other spaghetti sauces usually don’t measure up.) So buying one with a return option may be the safest choice.

  34. 34.

    FlipYrWhig

    @J R in WV: Original Mattress Factory, baby, the only way to sleep. And the owner’s radio ads are like Weber’s Protestant work ethic and the spirit of capitalism made into proverbs and/or koans.

  36. 36.

    piratedan

    just got my balloon juice calendar and it is The Awesome… thank you everyone for sharing their pets, I did so and its a kick to see so many awesome critters and happy animals.

  37. 37.

    pamelabrown53

    @Hillary Rettig: #26
    Yes, yes, yes. Objective information about even cars is more easily obtainable. When I think of mattress buying, it’s akin to an infomercial battle. @Quinerly, #32, just recommended a brand called “Wink”. Never heard of it.

  41. 41.

    Mike in NC

    An 80-ish woman in our development moved out a few days ago, seeking to relocate to the San Francisco area where she’s originally from. Now there is a brown leather chair abandoned in the driveway. Weird.

  43. 43.

    Larkspur

    @lamh36: Woo and hoo! Happy birthday beautiful Maddie! Maddie, please know we are still trying to fix the future for you, even if it’s just little. We want the best of everything for you and your friends.

  44. 44.

    Another Scott

    @dww44: Understanding that we’re all different and mattresses are extremely subjective, SleepLikeTheDead seems like a pretty good review site.

    We’ve got a double-sided king-size Sealy that’s probably around 15 years old now. We knew at the time that we didn’t want a “pillow-top” because of worries about valleys developing over time, so we got the top-of-the-line non-pillow-top. We were very good about flipping it every month, but it still developed some valleys (and we’re not big people). It still sleeps OK, but we have a pretty thick mattress pad on it that we replace every few years. We flip it every year or so now.

    J’s sister has some sort of foam thing. We slept on it once. I didn’t like it because it was too soft for me – like it was swallowing me, and I normally move around a lot when I sleep.

    Probably the most economical approach is to buy a decent foundation and a reasonably firm, simple mattress, and then get some sort of separate topper that one can replace every few years (if necessary). I dunno if we’ll take that approach or not – we’ll probably get whatever J feels is most comfortable (she’s got The Princess and the Pea genes ;-) – whenever we finally go shopping.

    Good luck!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  47. 47.

    Larkspur

    @Another Scott: The separate topper route is how I’ve gone. My mattress is high quality but too firm, so over the years I’ve tweaked it with mattress pads and a fluffy topper with extra deep pockets so it fits around everything, and it works great, and you’re right, I can replace it from time to time without going broke.

    ETA: Of course since I housesit a lot, I sleep on all kinds of beds. There’s one place I’m going to soon that has the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on. I’m going to have to ask them for details. It maybe partly be because she is a quilter, and the quilts on the bed are so lovely that I’m always in a good mood when I go to bed. That and the fact that their golden retriever sleeps on her comfy bed next to me makes for some good sleepin’.

  48. 48.

    bystander

    This Fucking Old House was my favorite show on PFuckingBS. Now that the series is over I’m focusing on Martha Fucking Bakes!

  49. 49.

    planetpundit

    As they said in the Godfather “Time to go to the mattresses!” (not an exact quotation)

  50. 50.

    Martha

    @lamh36: oh now that’s not fair. That photo means I’ve been looking at your adorable Maddie for 6years? Really? I’m old. Sigh. I love being an auntie too…Happy happy to you and her!

  53. 53.

    Mnemosyne

    @Another Scott:

    I’m still trying to talk G into a new mattress (ours is a mere 13 years old, don’t’cha know), but I’m very tempted to buy a Marriott mattress when we do. Those are the only hotel mattresses that don’t give me a backache.

  59. 59.

    bemused senior

    @Another Scott: That is what consumer reports recommends. We need a new mattress, but I started by getting a 3″ topper and it works so well, I still haven’t ordered a new mattress. They recommend one with lots and lots of coils.

  61. 61.

    JPL

    John, Betty or whoever is available, It’s almost time for the Falcons!
    I too stand with John Lewis.

  62. 62.

    dww44

    @bystander: This Old House is no more? My husband has long maintained that the original ‘fixer-upper” house show was the best and most legitimate.

  64. 64.

    Mnemosyne

    Also, since I haven’t bragged to the weekend crowd yet, I FINALLY got the Devil Woman to sign off on letting me take my nieces to Disney World in March. I bought the plane tickets on Thursday night. Now I’m freaking myself out that the trip is going to suck and we’re all going to go home hating each other, because my brain is broken like that. ?

  67. 67.

    MomSense

    @Mnemosyne:

    The girls love you and you will have a blast. You get to be the fun aunt and they get to feel unconditional love. Just enjoy it.

    Devil woman may try and cause trouble but you will just let it blow by you like a breeze.

    Have fun!!

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    @MomSense:

    I realized the other day which fictional character I’m feeling like whenever I have to deal with the Devil Woman: Jill in C.S. Lewis’ The Silver Chair when she has to fool the giants holding them prisoner into thinking she, Eustace, and Puddleglum are harmless so they can reconnoiter the castle and plan their escape.

    The others admitted afterwards that Jill had been wonderful that day. As soon as the King and the rest of the hunting party had set off, she began making a tour of the whole castle and asking questions, but all in such an innocent, babyish way that no one could suspect her of any secret design. Though her tongue was never still, you could hardly say she talked: she prattled and giggled. She made love to everyone — the grooms, the porters, the housemaids, the ladies-in-waiting, and the elderly giant lords whose hunting days were past. She submitted to being kissed and pawed about by any number of giantesses, many of whom seemed sorry for her and called her “a poor little thing” though none of them explained why. She made especial friends with the cook and discovered the all-important fact there was a scullery door which let you out through the outer wall, so that you did not have to cross the courtyard or pass the great gatehouse. In the kitchen she pretended to be greedy, and ate all sorts of scraps which the cook and scullions delighted to give her. But upstairs among the ladies she asked questions about how she would be dressed for the great feast, and how long she would be allowed to sit up, and whether she would dance with some very, very small giant. And then (it made her hot all over when she remembered it afterwards) she would put her head on one side in an idiotic fashion which grown-ups, giant and otherwise, thought very fetching, and shake her curls, and fidget, and say, “Oh, I do wish it was tomorrow night, don’t you? Do you think the time will go quickly till then?” And all the giantesses said she was a perfect little darling; and some of them dabbed their eyes with enormous handkerchiefs as if they were going to cry.

    ETA: Obviously, this is using “made love to” in its old-fashioned sense of innocent flirting, not in its modern sense of fucking.

  70. 70.

    opiejeanne

    @Mnemosyne: You’ll have a ball and so will they, and the weather should be decent, unlike our visit in August several years ago. Long stupid story why we didn’t go in the spring, but we had fun despite the weather.

  71. 71.

    Larkspur

    @Mnemosyne: Jeez. You seem to have forgotten all about the gators. Do not forget about the gators. That’s when they are most dangerous. Sneak attacks on the unwary.

  72. 72.

    Larkspur

    @Mnemosyne: Remember when Mr. Bennett said that about Mr. Wickham (“He made love to us all”); that’s how I realized the meaning had changed. Thank goodness, because eww.

  73. 73.

    Mnemosyne

    @Larkspur:

    Yeah, I think the older sense was something more akin to “buttering people up.”

    Interesting tidbit I’ve seen come up in several older books: a reference to adultery or fornication being all but proven because a servant testified that s/he saw the woman sitting on the man’s lap (or, in the parlance of the day, “sitting on his knee”).

  76. 76.

    lollipopguild

    John-we will all need to come over and inspect the new mattress as well as your countertops. And also complain about your paint colors.

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