I don’t know when I became such a damned wimp, but I let myself get so god damned stressed out yesterday that I woke up this morning and I am sick and congested. I don’t know how the hell I served in the army.
Also, the four poster bed in the bedroom is being removed today. I fell getting out of it, it’s a pain in the ass getting into, and when I fell out of it I broke one of the four god damned pillars.
Gin & Tonic
Of course you fell. We all expected that. At least you didn’t break any bones.
Corner Stone
Who in the world suggested to you to buy a four poster in the first place? Hate those things.
mai naem mobile
You should have just gotten those steps they have for old dogs with joint issues, so they can get into the car/bed whatever.
bemused
That didn’t take long.
Corner Stone
I plan to be angry that I just recently realized people have been using the word “enclave” wrong almost every time it is in an article or report.
sukabi
Lol You poor Bastard. You go thru the entire house reno without an incident and your first night sleeping in the new digs fall out of bed… Be glad the only thing you broke is one of the pillars.
Take care of yourself and get better…these winter colds are the suck.
hovercraft
Ah, finally the drama we were all expecting yesterday. I’m glad you didn’t break anything other than the bed ;-)
SG
Ah! The ceremonial First Accident! Happy house-warming, Cole, and fond wishes for a quick recovery.
dmsilev
On the stressed out front, I’m heading out this afternoon after a week or so helping my parents with their medical crises. The chemo side effects are starting to impact my dad, mainly in loss of energy. My mom is mobile around the house, but can’t go much outside that. I’ll be back in about ten days for chemo round two, and have done all of the needed errands and shopping and so forth, and my brother and his wife are nearby in case of emergencies.
Been a long week or so.
rikyrah
Feel better Cole
chris
Thank you, John Cole, for living up to our expectations. I hope the critters weren’t too stressed by all the excitement.
Gin & Tonic
@Corner Stone: But are you angry they are using it wrong, or angry that you didn’t know this previously?
chopper
@mai naem mobile:
I’d suggest a 10 foot long ramp but he’s probably fall through it.
Elizabelle
@dmsilev: Have been thinking about you. Glad the mom is mobile, somewhat.
Safe travels. Maybe you will have a lot more happy women than usual on your plane.
RepubAnon
Steve’s revenge for the bath – part 1. Cats are clever, and have long memories…
schrodingers_cat
Omg that’s funny, I LOLed. I actually love those old style four poster beds with mosquito netting, that you find in old bungalows in Indian hill-stations.
Cathie from Canada
Yes, we got a wonderful new bed a couple of years ago and when they delivered it we realized it is much higher than the old one, so much so that eventually one of our dogs couldn’t make the jump onto it. We also found that one of the sides collapsed somewhat because we sat on it too much and the foam side sort of shifted. It is very comfortable to sleep on, though, and once we are on it we like it. But we are now looking for a new mattress that is lower-profile, if such a thing still exists.
amk
Dood, you do know that break a leg is just an expression, right?
dmsilev
@Elizabelle: Thanks for the kind thoughts, though my experience is that nobody, of either gender, is particularly happy to be cooped up in a flying sardine can for six or so hours.
CaseyL
….should we even ask for details on how you did that? All I can come up with is that you desperately grabbed one of the pillars as you were falling and took it down with you. Either you have one helluva grip, or the pillars were made of balsa wood.
I’m sorry the four-poster didn’t work out. It was lovely. Also sorry that you have a head cold on top of other miseries. I think this would be a good day for hot soaks in the tub and watching football with your critters are around you. (Uh, is Steve speaking you again yet?)
chris
Also reupping this from the end of the last thread.
From NYFT
schrodingers_cat
@amk: What’s the deal with the bull festival thingie in your neck of the woods? I had never even heard of it before. Husbandkitteh has some bhakt relatives and they are all up in arms about it.
JordanRules
I’m confused about why that type of bed might pose more problems for Cole types? The posters aren’t in the middle of the bed or anything. I’ve never had one so some enlightenment is welcome.
Chill a bit Cole and continue to binge on the most excellent pics and signs from all over the world.
Cathie from Canada
By the way, what happened to the numbering system for the comments?
debbie
@Corner Stone:
It needed a larger space.
Ultraviolet Thunder
Happy housewarming John. It’s good to know that the tradition of ridiculous accidents didn’t get left behind at the old place.
Hope you feel better soon.
schrodingers_cat
@debbie: Gone the way of the mustard and the Subaru and now one of the posts of the four poster bed.
Judge Crater
There is a current theory that the Hadron Collider in Switzerland has been doing too much colliding – it has knocked some fundamental, cosmic particles out of alignment and altered the space-time continuum. This has led to mentally deranged people taking public office and sundry other “accidents” happening across the planet.
Falling out of bed is the perfect metaphor for what is happening in our country.
greennotGreen
@SG: No, that was when he fell through the porch.
debbie
@Cathie from Canada:
They have low-profile boxsprings which are half as thick as regular boxsprings.
Hal
From the nytimes:
Who cares?
Why women from the rust belt?
What issues did the Women’s March advocate that doesn’t apply to these women?
Fuck off nytimes?
debbie
@schrodingers_cat:
Those objects could make for a great art installation: “That Which Has Hurt Me.”
Ohio Mom
The last time I moved was fifteen years ago so the details are dim memories.
But one thing that I realized long ago is that for me at least, packing up is a morbid process. So many memories attached to so many belongings: “this (fill in the blank) was a birthday present from so-and-so, whatever became of him? Oh this, I bought that when I was…” and so on.
It’s not that they are unhappy memories (I don’t keep triggers), it’s the awareness of how much time has gone by, and what isn’t ever going to come back.
And that poster-bed? It was too large, visually, for that space anyway. But that is an issue for anyone in an older house. A lot of furniture is manufactured with McMansions in mind, not the modest sized rooms of yesteryear.
hovercraft
@dmsilev: Good to hear that the first round went well and that your Mom’s doing better. Have a safe flight back to the left coast. Breathe and just take to one day at a time. If you need to relieve stress, come here and yell at a troll. Or better yet just read about the Adventures of John Cole, Animal and House Rescuer.
Ultraviolet Thunder
@debbie:
He posted a pic of his hands once. Credible evidence for a claim of long term torture.
schrodingers_cat
Did you find the mustard?
schrodingers_cat
@Hal: NYT can go fuck itself with a rusty belt.
dmsilev
@schrodingers_cat: The mustard is a lie.
amk
@schrodingers_cat:
It’s a centuries old tradition in our southern part of state to tackle bulls, literally take them by their horns, and if you are not gored, you are a ‘hero’ and get some cash. Our supremes banned it as a cruel sport a few years back and it has been simmering ever since. The current brouhaha is more about our state people being pissed off at modi over his recent stupid demonetisation than about the sport itself.
Yoda Dog
@Hal:
IT’S OPTION 4!!
Corner Stone
@Ultraviolet Thunder:
Dubious. There would first need to be credible evidence those things were, in fact, hands.
lamh36
I like sleigh beds myself. But I don’t know that a four poster is bad? What don’t people like about it?
BTW John, this was your “kids” first night in the house too right? How’d they like it?
Corner Stone
“The octopus wants to date me.”
I don’t even care what she was trying to order. That is a line I need to learn how to say in about 6 languages, at least.
dmsilev
@hovercraft: I’ve got some stress relievers lined up. Work is some of it; there’s a bunch of stuff which I put aside that’s been piling up, and diving into (for instance) revising a manuscript or showing grad students how some instruments work is a good change of pace. Some good books or video games, and maybe I’ll do something soothing like visit the Huntington Botanical Garden once I’m back in Pasadena.
Corner Stone
@Gin & Tonic: I fell for the lie, man. I fell for it.
Iowa Old Lady
Holy crap. Mr IOL still has Chuck Todd on and some Trump rep says that if a radical imam is advocating terrorism, authorities should be able to bulldoze the mosque and throw the imam in jail, without fear that someone will come after them on human right.
Here. In the US.
Dread
It might just be me, but I would totally watch the hell out of “John Cole presents ‘This Fucking Old House’.”
Get on that PBS.
Ohio Mom
@Hal: It does make you wonder what else those women have never heard of.
schrodingers_cat
So how did JC break the bed. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Trying a complicated Kamasutra pose?
TaMara (HFG)
And this is why I read Balloon-Juice.
Cain
@Dread:
Just shorten it to “This Fucking Old Man” :-) (not that he’s old, hell we’re the same age!)
trollhattan
@Iowa Old Lady:
Trump’s challenge is how to become both Vlad and Bibi simultaneously. Which sounds bigly fun.
Ruckus
@dmsilev:
Hope everyone is better. Soon.
Corner Stone
@schrodingers_cat: Incredibly doubtful. You don’t think he has his twitter handle set to “Sad Trombone Sound” for no reason, do you?
Ruckus
@dmsilev:
I’ve been happy in one. Once if I remember correctly. I was going home to a happy woman thou. That may have had something to do with it.
debit
@JordanRules: I suspect that as he fell, he flailed about and grabbed a pillar which is not designed to support a large falling human.
John, at least you didn’t break anything on you, so, yay. Instead of an actual four poster bed, you could mount corner curtain rod pieces on the ceiling and hang some attractive curtains for the look of a four poster. Like this, but not a full track around the bed. Unless you wanted that, but I envision disaster if you had drawn the curtains and then needed to spring out of bed.
Thoroughly Pizzled
Did the mustard show up?
dmsilev
@Ruckus: Thanks. The outlooks are positive for both, but it’ll be a month or so for my mom and something like four months for my dad.
Summer
For a guy who helped save good in this world by starting a blog in the early dark days of the Bush administration and giving all of us lost and beleaguered souls a place to come and argue with you, you sure have some stress. Can you rest on your mighty laurels and realize that all will be well? In part because of your actions? Just a little shout out because I actually thought of Balloon Juice yesterday during the D.C. march and sent up a little thanks for your awesome self.
And the house looks great. :)
sukabi
@Hal: either these women don’t exist or if they do, they’re living under a rock.
I’m going with don’t exist because from reports even faux nooz was carrying coverage.
HRA
I am very glad you did not get injured, John. I am very prone to accidents for as far as I can remember as well.
I have a new bed, too. Old house with small rooms made me buy a smaller bed. The new mattress outfit makes me feel like I am climbing Mt. Everest. I look at the dog’s steps to the bed and wonder if they possess the chance of another accident. It is not a win/win situation.
I really hope you are able to find a better solution.
a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)
@schrodingers_cat
QFT.
And clearly the rust belt women don’t get out – or read – much. In addition to the Dublin march where our own HeleninEire too photos of very cute girls – and another commenter may have gotten to by virtue of asking for details about it here – there was a group in Jos Nigeria, Antarctica, as well as a group of 50 women in a small town in Alabama. “Small” meaning population ~360.
Mel
@schrodingers_cat:
I suspect that Cole’s bed fail might have to do with the complicated and often painful contortions required if a human shares sleeping space with more than a couple of gleefully entitled, space-hogging pets.
In our younger days, hubby and I spent over 16 years sharing household and sleeping quarters with two 70+ pound doggies and 4 extremely snuggly kitties. I can remember many mornings when our attempts to extricate ourselves without disturbing our sleepy little overlords led to pulled muscles, cartoon-style arm flailing, kicked spouse, and one spectacularly embarassing episode of falling out of bed backwards, onto a high-heeled shoe. Vive le pets! Vive ibuprofen! Vive urgent care clinic!
J R in WV
@amk:
So a 150-200 pound man, unarmed, runs out and grabs a 1500-2000 pound bull with weapons, horns, and that’s cruel to the BULL? That’s crazy!
In Hispanic cultures they give the guy who fights the bull a sword and cape, and weaken the bull from horseback, then KILL the bull. That’s cruel to the bull, but the more popular (in terms of number or participants anyway) Running of the Bulls is more like the South India thing, unarmed people running from angry scared bulls and getting gored.
I understand being angry about Dear Leader messing with your money, though. I fear Trump will wind up doing that just from sheer incompetence.
geg6
@JordanRules:
We have a four poster almost exactly like Cole’s. It is very high. So high that Lovey, who is a champ of a jumper, has to be carried to bed and is trapped until we carry her out.
SiubhanDuinne
I’m at the movie theatre waiting for the start of the Bolshoi’s “Sleeping Beauty” in a few minutes. Glad not to be outside — just got a text alert that we’re under a tornado watch until 8:00 pm. (Eleven people were killed by tornados earlier today in south Georgia, and I still carry around traumatic memories of the tornados that ripped through my neighbourhood in April 1998. Can be very scary stuff.)
amk
@J R in WV:
No matador, no weapons. Just bare hands. The bulls are not harmed and killed since they are prized possessions. The brave loons on the other hand….
J R in WV
@Ruckus:
Sometimes they are OK, airline flights. We went to HI once, had cousins to stay, and friends, which cut the costs. Coming home on Delta, I asked the desk agent way before the flight if we could upgrade to First class. He clicked away on his computer for a minute, then said “Well, actually, your tickets aren’t upgradeable, but I don’t care. $100 each…”, which I eagerly took, it’s a very long flight to and from Hawai’i.
Air France once, across the Atlantic, had seats in a row that had plenty of legroom, and Air France still tries to serve real food, and wine, so that was pretty sweet.
But mostly, meh, just a way to get somewhere. We flew back and forth to Houston a whole lot when my dad was fighting leukemia, and then side effects, for years, yetch!
Suzanne
Four-poster bed, what the hell is this? 1890? Are you an old lady? Get yourself to Room&Board and buy something modern. It’ll look great in your house.
Also, many modern beds are designed to work with a mattress only, so they’ll be lower to the ground, which will only be good for you.
p.a.
Just tucked into a tub of bun bo hue. If hockey weren’t on it’d be nappytime after that meal.
Steelers 31 Pats 17. Steeler front 7 D will dominate. Brady will underwhelm again without Gronk. Brady best qb in conference, but Roethlisbergermanfredsedjonson is #2, while Bell is best rb in the league and Brown is at least best receiver in the conference. Pats skill positions are good but not that level. Edelman will shoulder the load, but won’t make it to the end of the game.
Suzanne
Get something like this with a mattress only. Lower to the ground, and less douchey. Made in West Virginia, too.
J R in WV
John,
I agree that the bed doesn’t really work for the room. You could take the dresser, etc out and put them in the next room, and lower the bed with a plain bed frame and lower box.
And a angle-iron bed frame is really cheap, the furniture store that sold you the 4-poster will give you one when you return the failed woodwork. Probably throw in a lower box spring too.
And as for “I don’t know how the hell I served in the army.” Guy, you were young then, that’s how! You weren’t injured and sedentary. I couldn’t do what I routinely did in the Navy either, today, 40 years later on.
Wars aren’t typically fought by guys pushing 45 or 50, now are they?
WaterGirl
Cole, I’m glad you’re getting rid of the bed. I saw the photo you posted when the bed was delivered and I thought it was an accident waiting to happen. So glad you’re not hurt!
Ohio Mom
@Suzanne: Ah, Room and Board, the store from which I covet just about everything. But you know, the closest store to WVa is a toss up between Chicago and NYC, so looking through the showroom is not a possibility.
Plus, the guy’s bank account is tapped out.
Myself, I’d immediately remove the metal frame — that should lower the bed about four inches, and live without a headboard.
sukabi
@Iowa Old Lady: so then the flip side of that is, the next time some white bible thumper goes out and shoots up a place we should go in and bulldoze their church…right?
sukabi
@schrodingers_cat: think he forgot to untie before getting out.
Another Scott
@Suzanne: Neat. Thanks for the pointer. I’ve seen lots of beautiful WV woodwork at Tamarack, and they usually have some amazing furniture on display too.
It looks like the closest store to him might be in DC, though. Buying a bed over the web might be a little dicey (just from the “this isn’t what I expected” perspective).
Cheers,
Scott.
schrodingers_cat
@sukabi: Green balloons!
Suzanne
@Ohio Mom: Yeah, if he wants to go to the showroom, then that could be difficult. But I’ve ordered furniture over the net before and had no trouble, because I really measure the room and block out the size first. Or buy from somewhere else like Crate and Barrel or a local place, but look for similar style. Cheap furniture from places like Ashley or Oasis, etc, is just so gross. John has a classy home now. It’s worth waiting for the right stuff.
Suzanne
@Ohio Mom: That store Cost Plus World Market has some fairly nice-looking furniture at cheap prices. I’m sure it won’t last long, but it could tide him over. Also, that store seems to be everywhere, so I’m sure he could go look at the stuff.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):
Huh. I have been to Mentone, Alabama. I have nothing to add to that.
Juju
The now broken four poster bed looked like a rice four post Williamsburg reproduction. There is usually an option to buy step stools with the bed. My aunt had one and thought she’d skip the step stool, but bought it after one night in the bed. I’m glad you didn’t seriously hurt yourself.
I will say that as we age our immune systems weaken and we are more likely to get ill when we are stressed. It seems like you’ve been stressed out for quite some time. I’m not surprised you caught something. If it’s just a cold, go ahead and try a zinc based ant cold something. I’ve tried them before, but every time except once, that I thought it was a cold, it turned out to be flu, and then pneumonia, and zinc does nothing for that.
Look at Pottery Barn for bed ideas. Sometimes their sales make them reasonable.
Juju
@lamh36: I have a sleigh bed that I found in a barn type antique store. I got it for $90. It needed to be restored/refinished, which I did with my mother’s help. There were veneer issues, but we did an excellent job dealing with them. I did learn that older bed side rails are not as long as modern mattresses. I tried to live with the original side rails, but I scraped my knuckles raw when I changed the sheets. I gave up after a few years of raw knuckles and bought new side rails. It took two tries to find side rails that worked with an older bed, and I ended up spending more on the side rails than I do on the bed. It was all worth it. I love my sleigh bed.
JAFD
I am 6’1″, 66 years old, and one of my companion animal peeves is having to pull myself to verticality, from a low bed or chair. IMAO, chair height should be at the ‘ticklish’ point where the skin folds behind your knees, and for me that’d be 21″ – which is maximum height for my ‘standard adjustable desk chair’.
Was gifted with one of those Ikea bedframes when I moved into new place in Fall of ’15 – only 12″ off the floor – and while Ikea has ‘leg extentions’ with unpronouncable Scandish name, would like it if they made them longer (And Swedes rumored to be tallish people, too ???)
Anyway, John, best wishes for your new abode!