Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

If rights aren’t universal, they are privilege, not rights.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

Trump should be leading, not lying.

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Oh So Sassy

Reader Interactions

94Comments

  2. 2.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Holy crap, I thought Paul Lynde had died….

    “good reviews” fercrissake. This is actually more than I’ve seen. He’s claiming the rain stopped for him?

    In other news:

    Phil Mattingly ‏@ Phil_Mattingly 5h5 hours ago
    Senate Intel panel agrees in closed session to move forward with committee investigation into Russian election activities:

    of course, that investigation is only as good as the Senators on that committee

  12. 12.

    Couldn't Stand the Weather

    @Schlemazel:

    Maybe if he actually sounded like that I could stand to listen to him.

    I thought the shitgibbon was horrible during the campaign. This shit is worse; his speech at CIA somehow plumbed new depths of truculence and peevishness. And, yes, that voiceover is damn well hilarious.

  14. 14.

    Yarrow

    Amazing. I hope they keep going.

    @Couldn’t Stand the Weather: I had avoided looking at the CIA speech so this is my first exposure to it. Wow. He is so petty and small. Standing in front of that wall and complaining about crowds for his speech and TV coverage. Wow.

  15. 15.

    Aleta

    More than 200 people who were mass-arrested at the Washington, D.C. protests against the inauguration of Donald Trump have been hit with felony riot charges that are punishable by up to 10 years in prison. Those picked up in the sweep—including legal observers and journalists—had their phones, cameras and other personal belongings confiscated as evidence, a lawyer confirmed to AlterNet.

  16. 16.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    You know, this may be the best way forward… Trump meets anger with anger, praise without humility, but laughter… laughter he cannot abide. It will make him crack.

  23. 23.

    joel hanes

    Yeah, ha ha ha ha, what a maroon …

    a maroon that just threatened, in so many words, to put Chicago under martial law

    a maroon that has destroyed the EPA by fiat

    a maroon that has disrupted the ACA exchanges so that no insurance company can predict what will happen, and so destroyed the ACA without having to get anything through Congress

    a maroon that has just gag-ordered much of the Executive Branch, in an attempt to keep the voters and the press from knowing what he’s doing

    ha ha ha ha
    sob

  26. 26.

    sharl

    Aaand the hits just keep on coming…

    Robby Mook And Corey Lewandowski Team Up For Paid Speeches
    The former Trump and Clinton campaign managers will “debate the day’s hot issues” and offer audiences an “entertaining pair,” according to their agency’s website.

    Among the young lefties I tend to follow, early reviews are, um, not favorable.

  28. 28.

    CaseyL

    Scientists are fighting back. Shitgibbon shut down the National Park Service Twitter account for daring to post about climate change. Some park rangers have gone rogue, and are back to posting as AltUSParkService. They’ve posted a link to a group planning a scientists’ march on Washington:


    Scientists March on Washington

    No date set yet; they’re hoping to do it in March. FSM help them; at this rate, Shitgibbon will be rounding up and imprisoning scientists by then. I think this is a cause worthy of notice and support.

  33. 33.

    Aleta

    His inaugural address about America being in ruins, and his talk about sending the National Guard to Chicago, and his lies about African Americans dominated by poverty in the cities, and the charges of felony riot against 200 of the inaugural protesters (btw Muslim women were threatened and Native American women injured), and his campaigning on the lie that crime and decay in the US are out of control, and his promises that finally he can restore law and order are cut from the same cloth. Create a fiction that whites may find believable, define foreigners and people of color and agitators as the problem, crack down on the disorder and ‘riots’ and make himself be seen as legitimate.

  34. 34.

    DocSardonic

    This motherfucker maybe president, but he can kiss my ass….. My family and a couple of friends are on that wall

  36. 36.

    cmorenc

    @Corner Stone:

    That is so fucking good. Good Sweet Cracker Christ that is good.

    I foresee this idea growing into a series like the “Downfall” parodies of Hitler. We’ll have lots of over-the-top Trump speeches forthcoming to riff off of beside just this one.

  37. 37.

    TriassicSands

    A question for the women in the audience who wear make-up. I know nothing about the application of make-up and I’ve always favored the natural look, but when I see Kellyanne AF Conway, I can’t help but wonder — Does she apply her eye make-up with a trowel, a shovel, a backhoe, or a fire hose? Or is there an option I’m leaving out?

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne

    @Aleta:

    Create a fiction that whites may find believable, define foreigners and people of color and agitators as the problem, crack down on the disorder and ‘riots’ and make himself be seen as legitimate.

    That may be another reason why he’s so enraged about the Women’s March — I think there’s been exactly one (1) documented arrest for all of the marches combined.

    Hard to claim that rioting and disorder is out of control when nobody gets arrested.

  41. 41.

    TriassicSands

    @Aleta:

    The great thing about campaigning (and his administration will continue to be a campaign 24/7/365) on a pack of lies is that he can declare victory at any time. He’ll no doubt turn the tide in the carnage that is taking place throughout America today because it isn’t happening and he can claim to have solved the problem whenever it suits his purposes.

  42. 42.

    sharl

    @efgoldman:

    Were most of those arrested, the black bloc assholes?

    I think that’s the big question at the moment. DC Metro police and U.S. Park Police have had to pay out large settlements in the past for kettling (assuming that’s what happened here) that ensnared a lot of innocent bystanders, journalists and observers. From Wikipedia:

    Anti-Globalization movement, Washington D.C., 2002
    As part of ongoing anti-globalization demonstrations and early demonstrations against the impending invasion of Iraq, several hundred protesters and bystanders were kettled in Pershing Park and subsequently arrested, resulting in large, sometimes record-breaking class-action settlements and ongoing litigation to restrict the practice.

  44. 44.

    Peale

    @Aleta: yep. And let us recall that the biggest fad amongst the young this summer was wandering around parks and through towns and cities hunting for Pokémon. And for what it’s worth, despite numerous press stories about gangs and pedophiles luring our kids to their doom, we made it through just fine. Clearly we are an unsafe smoldering pile of ruins.

    Our biggest crisis is Trumpism and the distorted view of reality that supporting it brings, not ourselves.

  45. 45.

    TriassicSands

    @Mnemosyne:

    I think there’s been exactly one (1) documented arrest for all of the marches combined.

    One arrest? That’s borderline anarchy. The Planet Lord has shown god-like restraint in not calling out the national guard.

  47. 47.

    JordanRules

    So earlier a lot of folks were saying it’s no big deal that, especially after the Saturday women’s march, Dems were voting to confirm some of Trump’s cabinet.

    Myself and a few others couldn’t understand the upside at all. We werent starting purity purges or suggesting any consequences but we were trying to understand why they wouldn’t vote no on pics that at the least, aren’t qualified.

    I just don’t get it. Others I’ve observed saying the same thing are also wondering why they seem so divorced from the base after that huge show of resistance on Saturday. These should be easy no votes.

  48. 48.

    elm

    @JordanRules:

    I just don’t get it. Others I’ve observed saying the same thing are also wondering why they seem so divorced from the base after that huge show of resistance on Saturday. These should be easy no votes.

    They’re acting like we are now in normal times and not a fascist takeover.

  49. 49.

    Major Major Major Major

    @JordanRules: I think the theory goes like this. Each session starts with x number of comity points. Every time an opposition party makes things difficult, they lose comity points. These can be redeemed for things like the bipartisan immigration bill from a few years back.

    Maybe the senate used to even work this way, I’m not a parliamentary historian but the conventional wisdom is this started to break down between the Bork and Thomas nominations and was gone by the Clinton impeachment.

    Things seem to sort of operate like this, in a twisted way, where the x number of comity points you start with is 10,000 with a democratic majority and 10 with a republican majority.

    So they’re hoarding comity points, for all the good it will do.

  51. 51.

    TriassicSands

    @Mnemosyne:
    OK, I can see that would have the precision necessary for Conway’s minimalist look. And who better to act as a make-up consultant than Homer Simpson?

    @Aleta:
    Now, I’m lost. How does that work?

    @Quinerly:
    I’m sorry, Quinerly, but nothing involving either AF Conway or Fred Dalton Thompson strikes me as remotely “fun.” Nauseating? Yes. Skin-crawling? Yep. But definitely not fun. Now, I have to spend several hours trying desperately to get the image of Conway and Thompson out of my head. Ick!

  52. 52.

    JordanRules

    @Major Major Major Major: Thanks Major and I get the inside baseball stuff, but they have to know the house is burning and nobody is playing baseball any more don’t they? They’ve seen some of the IC reports we can’t (and we all saw how Madame Waters reacted). They were around for the last 8 years to see the game change. They know these are horrible picks and that we are the party that takes the work of governing seriously. Carson, for one example, is a fuckin joke. Also too…The shit is on fire!! Oy.

  53. 53.

    James Powell

    @JordanRules:

    Others I’ve observed saying the same thing are also wondering why they seem so divorced from the base after that huge show of resistance on Saturday. These should be easy no votes

    Couldn’t agree more. I’m curious to know if anyone offered a genuine explanation as opposed to a politician’s bullshit answer that pretty much says nothing. I was especially disappointed to see Sherrod Brown decide to vote for Carson, who has no business in government at all.

  54. 54.

    patrick II

    Triumph the insult comic dog: Trump and I have a lot in common. The only difference is that the hand up my ass isn’t Vladimir Putin’s.

  55. 55.

    Peale

    @JordanRules: of the ones who have been confirmed so far, the only one that really troubles me is Pompeo. Carson is a fool, but I’m not worried he’ll be around long. Elaine Chao was already a cabinet secretary for bush, so it’s not like they would vote away onevof the few people with actual experience. While Halley isn’t qualified to be UN ambassador, at least she didn’t give answers that indicated that she’s a NWO conspiracy nut. Kelly will build a wall and will provably efficiently put in place Trumps immigration nuts. But he at least as a general seemed to be able to follow the rules and isn’t tied to militia or vigilantes. Everyone on the committee voted against Tillerson. They will all vote against DeVoss. They’ve delayed sessions (probably hoping he’ll be charged with something). But I think Pompeo, Mattis and Kelly are probably rushed through because no one wants a finger pointed at them if there should be some kind of attack. If we didn’t want Trumps cabinet, more of us should have voted. As it stands we are short handed.

  57. 57.

    JordanRules

    @James Powell: The only semi decent explanation I saw was offered up on LGF. Basically voting for them and allegedly setting their terms for support as Warren did when Ben “promised” her a few things gives them a concrete checklist when\if it’s time to remove them.

    Even the person who said it thought it was BS but they’re trying to make sense of it all too.

  58. 58.

    elm

    @JordanRules: It’s total BS. They have no power over the ones they confirm either. When dealing with fascists the only choices (ever) are resist or cooperate. It disappoints me that elected Democrats have chosen to cooperate with the fascist.

  59. 59.

    Peale

    @elm: I know. The other thing I thought of is that the XXVth amendment removal, if it is to be effective, probably requires a cabinet to vote that the president is out of his mind. Chao, Kelly and Mattis are at least three who might recognize insanity if they saw it.

  60. 60.

    JordanRules

    @Peale: You give good reasons why these should have been easy no votes.

    The security concern is a good point that I hadn’t considered for those particular picks but then you fall into the same space as the folks who posited that they were still trying to avoid ‘both sides’ accusations in this crazy climate. They are going to blame us regardless. How many positions that are generally filled during the transition still aren’t? And if they are really bad picks maybe they just shouldn’t be in place. So many seem like easy no votes that would confirm to a scared base that is getting threatened and more terrified each news cycle that they are all in with us.

    They have made some good strong moves too. The shout out to Vlad in the DNC statement today about the gag orders was great.

  62. 62.

    elm

    @Peale: That doesn’t explain Carson and a 25th Amendment removal is never going to happen. If they tried and Trump opposed it, it would require a 2/3 vote in both the House and Senate to remove him. That will not happen.

  68. 68.

    pseudonymous in nc

    Narcissism meets early-stage dementia.

    DC’s gonna blow. The DC that people live in, not the fancy bits.

  69. 69.

    pseudonymous in nc

    And tbh, thinking in terms of constitutionally-stipulated resolutions is polishing the hinges of the door while the horse disappears on the horizon.

    Do not assume that there are institutional forces capable of getting rid of the demented orange narcissist. Look to the republic’s deep fucking history.

  70. 70.

    JordanRules

    @pseudonymous in nc:

    Narcissism meets early-stage dementia.

    That’s my read on it too. Dude was never super smart or anything, but if you watch old footage from the 80’s you’ll notice he doesn’t talk, sound or seem to process info the same way.

  71. 71.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Eventually, ala V for Vendetta the incessant mocking is going to trigger violent retribution. There’s no one to talk him down. There’s no Tywin Lannister to send this baby-king to bed without his supper.

  73. 73.

    James Powell

    @Peale:

    If we didn’t want Trumps cabinet, more of us should have voted.

    This cannot be overstated. It has to be a central part of the motivation for 2018.

  74. 74.

    TriassicSands

    @JordanRules:

    What really is exhausting is the endless and unapologetic lying. The public faces of the administration — Trump, AF Conway, and Spicer — are all experienced liars. I already knew what to expect from Trump and Conway, but Spicer is new to me. Watching his interview with Axelrod in which he made a big deal out of how he would never lie and then watching him lie his ass off in press briefings makes for quite a jarring contrast. Four years of this…it’s going to be rough.

  75. 75.

    JordanRules

    @James Powell: It also can’t be stated enough that she received 3 million more votes. I’d like to continue investigations into possible shenanigans also.

    1st election without the VRA is a BFD too.

  78. 78.

    SectionH

    Slogan:

    YOU WATCH US RUN!

    Run for school boards!
    Run for district boards!
    Run for state rep seats.
    There you are. RUN!

    I

  79. 79.

    Anne Laurie

    @TriassicSands:

    when I see Kellyanne AF Conway, I can’t help but wonder — Does she apply her eye make-up with a trowel, a shovel, a backhoe, or a fire hose?

    I believe a simple palette knife would be enough, as long as she didn’t disturb the base coat more than once a week.

    Seriously, though — if you had Conway’s job, would you want to look yourself in the eyes long enough to do a good job?

  80. 80.

    TriassicSands

    @Anne Laurie:

    Seriously, though — if you had Conway’s job, would you want to look yourself in the eyes long enough to do a good job?

    Seriously, Anne, if I had Conway’s job, I’d spend most of my time staring into the muzzle of one of my 100+ handguns hoping for the courage to pull the trigger.

  81. 81.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    I am hoping for a MI.

    Stroke or aneurysm would work, too.

    I was going to posit a head a-splodin’, but your alternative is more likely. (But mine might make for better soundbite.)

  82. 82.

    Mister Papercut

    @TriassicSands:

    when I see Kellyanne AF Conway, I can’t help but wonder — Does she apply her eye make-up with a trowel, a shovel, a backhoe, or a fire hose? Or is there an option I’m leaving out?

    It’s applied with a makeup gun set to “Dessicated Bunny Ranch Retiree.”

  84. 84.

    JosieJ (not Josie)

    @TriassicSands:

    Fortunately, press secretaries seldom last 4 years. The concern is, who would Trump replace Spicer with? Undoubtedly someone worse!

  90. 90.

    Seth Owen

    @elm: Depends how big Trump’s disaster is. If there’s a smoking radioactive hole in the ground somewhere anything is possible.

  91. 91.

    J R in WV

    @TriassicSands:

    Watching his interview with Axelrod in which he made a big deal out of how he would never lie and then watching him lie his ass off in press briefings makes for quite a jarring contrast.

    One “tell” about habitual liars, they always tell you that they NEVER tell falsehoods, never. So when someone tells you how honest they are, grab your wallet and hang on tight. And don’t believe another word they say.

  93. 93.

    Gelfling 545

    @TriassicSands: Perhaps I can offer some insight. My granddaughter, though only 18′ is somewhat of a makeup expert. She’s graduating in theater from the local arts high school. Her makeup is always impeccable, though sometimes dramatic and she does makeup for their stage productions. She was doing the make up for a haunted house they were putting on at Halloween and I went with her to get supplies. When I asked her who would carry what she would need she said the drug store would be fine. “You just use the regular make up, but use it all wrong “. Add a little red food color and corn syrup for blood and voilà.

  94. 94.

    Gelfling 545

    @Peale: well, they should recognize it now. I kind of get the vote for Mattis, though. From what I hear, he’s not completely horrible and Sec’y of Defense is not a job one wants to leave vacant, or leave one’s self open to blame for the vacancy and it’s not like they’re going to get anybody better from Trump.

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