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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / We’re Too Big To Cry…And This Is Just Funny Enough To Make Us Laugh

We’re Too Big To Cry…And This Is Just Funny Enough To Make Us Laugh

by Tom Levenson|  January 25, 20173:25 pm| 55 Comments

This post is in: Hail to the Hairpiece, Humorous, Open Threads

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Have I got an international laughing stock for you:

 

 

h/t my on-the-Zeitgeist son.

There really is nothing funny about what’s happening now, though the shoots of resistance are encouraging as we look towards the hope of spring.  But I give our Dutch friends credit.  The above made me laugh out loud.

Open thread.

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Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    I’m seeing on my news alert that Mnuchin is registered to vote in two different states, so that’s fun.

  2. 2.

    Yutsano

    January 25, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    RIP Mary Tyler Moore. Thanks for the laughs and the smiles.

  3. 3.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    January 25, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    The fortune teller sighed. “It will get worse before it gets better.”
    “Is there nothing we can do?”
    “Of course! That’s why it gets better.”

    Micro SF/F stories

  4. 4.

    Mnemosyne

    January 25, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    Now I want to go to the pony park. It looks awesome.

  5. 5.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    Also, this is the most spectacular piece of propaganda I’ve seen in a while:

    Bourbons of the Press, Believed by But 15%, Straggle on in Defeat
    By CONRAD BLACK, Special to the Sun | January 24, 2017

    It was a brilliant inauguration, and the continued scrapping and strafing between the administration and the bedraggled, sodden mass of the press continues the execution of a new demarcation of power in the federal government that will prove benign. This week’s issues themselves are not important; what is at issue is a contest between the attitudes of the press and the tactics of the administration.

    The two signal facts, or “alternative facts” in the well-chosen parlance of the brilliant and engaging co-counselor and victorious campaign manager of the president, Kellyanne Conway, are that public approval of the national news media now stands at 14%, and the allegations the press are now making against the new administration are of no interest to any serious segment of the public.

    As a result of these facts, the continued press assault on Donald Trump is much less dangerous even than when it failed to derail his candidacy for the Republican nomination and the election. It was a matter of continuing astonishment, as the campaign unfolded, that his following grew despite his political incorrectness. His references to the danger of “Islamic extremism” and of undesirable forms of immigration, and his debunking of the fraudulence of global-warming claims and of confected charges of misogyny and racism against him, won him more supporters than opponents.

  6. 6.

    Mnemosyne

    January 25, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    So are Bannon and Tiffany Trump.

  7. 7.

    Mike J

    January 25, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: MOre intereesting than that, Trump is still using his unsecured android and his advisors all us RNC email addresses.

  8. 8.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    @Mike J: How do you know the secret service or NSA or whoever didn’t get him a secured Android? Just because he’s tweeting ‘from Android’ doesn’t mean it’s from his old one.

  9. 9.

    Yutsano

    January 25, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Per a Dutch friend of mine it’s not all that spectacular. I’d still like to see it.

  10. 10.

    tpherald

    January 25, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: When someone moves, the voter registration is not automatically updated to remove you from your state of origin.

    I mean, so what if your name is listed in two states.

    For that to make a difference, there’d have to be millions of people willing to travel between states on Election Day to vote twice.

    It’s just a canard to move toward national ID cards.

  11. 11.

    Bodacious

    January 25, 2017 at 3:38 pm

    My daughter lives in Amsterdam and sent me this a few days ago. Just what the doctor ordered…..but lets keep them in our thoughts. Their own nightmare is lurking on the horizon….Hair Franken-Geert.

  12. 12.

    elm

    January 25, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: Do you think Twitter is on the NSA’s whitelist of approved apps?

    @tpherald: It’s the PR campaign for a scheme to steal the right to vote from millions of people.

  13. 13.

    Applejinx

    January 25, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    It creeps me out how happy Paul Ryan seems. Is he another Russian mole? Certainly the plans he’s made up are all complete trolls and he doesn’t care one bit that they’re nonsensical. And he does the Putin fitness thing, popular among authoritarian strongmen.

    I totally get how many Republicans are like ‘crap, we’ll end up owning this, could be trouble’ but why is Ryan on cloud nine?

  14. 14.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    @tpherald: Oh, I know it doesn’t matter, it’s the hypocrisy and sheer idiocy that’s amusing.

  15. 15.

    Ian G.

    January 25, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Poe’s law and all, but is this serious? Because it reads like a press release from the government of Iran.

  16. 16.

    Spanky

    January 25, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: My guess is that he borrowed the phone from his piss hooker, now that Melania is out of his hair.

  17. 17.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    @Ian G.: It appears to be real, or else the author is engaged in a very, very long piece of performance art.

  18. 18.

    The Moar You Know

    January 25, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    How do you know the secret service or NSA or whoever didn’t get him a secured Android? Just because he’s tweeting ‘from Android’ doesn’t mean it’s from his old one.

    @Major Major Major Major: Because there is no “secured Android”. Nor is there a secured iOS. Blackberry, ATM, is the only mobile OS that can be locked down to the required level of security.

    ETA: everyone hates Blackberry

    Personally, I’m not sure Android’s ever going to be securable (the moneymaker for Google in all this is ad delivery, which is inherently insecure) and Apple seemingly has decided, I think correctly, that it’s not worth the cost to make and deliver a secured build of iOS to the US government.

  19. 19.

    Yarrow

    January 25, 2017 at 3:45 pm

    @Applejinx:

    It creeps me out how happy Paul Ryan seems. Is he another Russian mole?

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  20. 20.

    elm

    January 25, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    @The Moar You Know: The NSA does have a secure phone platform built on the Android Open Source Platform, but it would not be running arbitrary apps like Twitter and would not be running Google’s services.

  21. 21.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    @Applejinx:
    No not a mole, he just knows that the orange smurf is going to make all his wet dreams come true, we are about to enter the Brownback age of America. Maybe not in quite a s pure a form as Kansas, but closer than they ever dreamed possible.

  22. 22.

    Ohio Mom

    January 25, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    @tpherald: For a while at least, Ohio was sending out absentee ballots to all registered voters, whether you asked for them or not.

    We got a pair for the previous owners, who had not just moved out of state upon selling us the house, but had also died in a gruesome car accident shortly after (it was the talk of the subdivision, plus their family ran an obit in the paper and I am old enough to skim those daily).

    I called up the Board of Elections to tell them to save the postage. They told me they kept voters on the list until, and now I forget the details, they hadn’t voted in a certain number of elections. I think there might have also been an option for a family member to send in a death certificate. At any rate, I kept tearing the ballots up and trashing them until they finally stopped arriving.

    So yes, I can see how it would be very easy to end up on two or more set of voter rolls. The secret is not to actually vote more than once.

  23. 23.

    Mnemosyne

    January 25, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    @Applejinx:

    They promised Ryan that he can kill Social Security and Medicare. Plus he knows that if Trump and Pence fuck up too badly, it’s hello President Paul Ryan. From his sociopathic POV, what’s not to like?

  24. 24.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    @Mike J: @Major Major Major Major:

    NYT: Trump Still Has His Unsecured Cell Phone To Keep Him Company

    President Donald Trump is living in the White House, but he has held on to his unsecured Android cell phone, according to a New York Times report.

    Per the Times, Trump uses his phone when he’s alone at his new home:

    Mr. Trump’s wife, Melania, went back to New York on Sunday night with their 10-year-old son, Barron, and so Mr. Trump has the television — and his old, unsecured Android phone, to the protests of some of his aides — to keep him company. That was the case after 9 p.m. on Tuesday, when Mr. Trump appeared to be reacting to Bill O’Reilly’s show on Fox News, which was airing a feature on crime in Chicago.

    It appears that Trump’s latest tweets were sent from an Android device, suggesting that he used his unsecured personal cell phone at the White House.

    The latest news follow a New York Times report last week that Trump had handed in his unsecured Android for a secure device, as former President Barack Obama did.

  25. 25.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    @hovercraft: Well, there you go.

  26. 26.

    tpherald

    January 25, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    @Ohio Mom:

    Voting restriction advocates are intentionally conflating voter registration rolls curation with in-person voter fraud.

    Voter registration lists are likely very messy while in-person voter fraud is very, very rare.

  27. 27.

    Origuy

    January 25, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    The thing about Bannon is not that he was registered in two places, but that the place he was registered at in Florida was unoccupied. Florida officials haven’t found any evidence that he ever voted there, however.

  28. 28.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    While we are all distracted, the grift is ramping up big time.
    Report: Fee To Join Mar-A-Lago Club Doubled To $200k After Trump Win

    and we can all look forward to ugly gold monstrosities polluting our skylines, yay.

    Report: Trump Hotels CEO Pledges Huge U.S. Expansion
    “There are 26 major metropolitan areas in the U.S., and we’re in five,” Danziger told attendees following a panel discussion at the Americas Lodging Investment Summit in Los Angeles, according to Bloomberg News. “I don’t see any reason that we couldn’t be in all of them eventually.”

  29. 29.

    Yarrow

    January 25, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    BREAKING: President Trump says intelligence officials have told him torture "absolutely" works— CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) January 25, 2017

    Uh huh. Hey, CIA–did you guys tell him this at that speech where he lectured you about his inaugural crowd size?

  30. 30.

    Ian G.

    January 25, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    A convicted felon who serves in the House of Lords? Jesus, I feel like his existence is nature playing a Poe’s law joke on us.

  31. 31.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Report: Trump Hotels CEO Pledges Huge U.S. Expansion

    and

    Report: Fee To Join Mar-A-Lago Club Doubled To $200k After Trump Win

  32. 32.

    Peale

    January 25, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    @Origuy: Yep. The only reason to do what he did was maintaining the appearance of a Florida address for something like tax evasion or auto insurance fraud.

  33. 33.

    O. Felix Culpa

    January 25, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    @hovercraft: I’m shocked – shocked – to find that profiteering is going on here!

  34. 34.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 25, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    @Ian G.: Right??

  35. 35.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    @Yarrow:

    He may want to, but given this push back from the senate already, plus, Adam correct me if I’m wrong, the IC wants absolutely no part of this, they got burned by the shrub people last time.
    Sen. John Thune: Torture Is Banned As ‘A Matter Of Settled Law’

    By Lauren Fox Published January 25, 2017, 2:34 PM EDT

    PHILADELPHIA – President Donald Trump can’t bring back torture even if he wanted to, Sen. John Thune (R-SD) told reporters during the Republican retreat Wednesday.

    The Associated Press reported Wednesday on a draft executive order calling for the Trump administration to re-examine opening CIA black sites, reigniting a debate about “enhanced interrogation” techniques used under the Bush administration. Thune said Trump cannot make that call without Congress playing a role.

    “Those issues are settled law. Congress has spoken,” Thune said. “When it comes to enhanced interrogation techniques and that sort of things, my understanding is–I haven’t seen the new executive action and what’s being proposed– but my understanding is that they’re going to examine some of those issues, but with regard to torture, that’s banned. The Army Field Manuel makes that very clear.”

    Already Wednesday, Sen John McCain(R-AZ), a torture survivor himself, came out vehemently against the draft executive action.

    “The law is the law. We are not bringing back torture in the United States of America,” McCain told the New York Times in a statement.

    Thune also suggested that members of Congress had already weighed in.

    “We view that to be a matter of settled law,” Thune said. “With regard to how most members of Congress perceive or view that, we’ve spoken on that.”

  36. 36.

    Iowa Old Lady

    January 25, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Somehow I hadn’t realized how much the lying and gaslighting would get to me once he was president. It feels qualitatively different, maybe because now there’s no one to serve as a check on him.

    Come back, Obama!

  37. 37.

    Yarrow

    January 25, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady: I hope he comes back sooner rather than later as a moral voice. We need people of standing to play that role.

  38. 38.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: Charles Black has been a whack job for years, I became aware of him went he was on trail, years ago. I remember thinking how the hell can this moron run any type of a business, he’s insane. Now to find out that it’s actually not uncommon.

  39. 39.

    hovercraft

    January 25, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    @Iowa Old Lady:
    Michelle will cut a bitch ! Leave her boo alone ;-)

  40. 40.

    Quinerly

    January 25, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:
    So are Bannon and Tiffany Trump.

  41. 41.

    Iowa Old Lady

    January 25, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    It’s embarrassing how easy the US President is to parody.

  42. 42.

    Kay

    January 25, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    My email has gotten so good since Trump was elected. Ideas of all kinds from all kinds of people!

    I WOULD LIKE TO SEE “LOCK HIM UP” HATS OF ALL KINDS, HOMEMADE EVEN, AS THE HAT OF THE MOVEMENT. I’M DESIGNING AND ORDERING 25 TO START– WILL SEND YOU ONE FOR FREE. WILL LIKELY SEND ONE TO LIBERAL MEDIA ELITES.

    I love how it’s ALL CAPS and also how she writes “liberal media elites” like it’s a real category :)

    When I get my hat I’m wearing it.

  43. 43.

    Lizzy L

    January 25, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    The torture draft EO is a big shiny — after the pushback from McCain, Thune, and the FBI, the WH has disavowed it. (Not ours, we didn’t write it.) Uh huh. The voter fraud investigation is a big shiny. I don’t think Jerry Brown and Andrew Cuomo are scared. The Mexican wall EO is a big shiny, because as has been pointed out, a project of this magnitude takes money and time. Think about how long it takes your state department of transportation to do any kind of major construction. There’s a project in my neighborhood to reroute a freeway entrance/exit: CalTrans has been working on it for over two years.

    T is bored, so they’re printing things for him to sign. Let’s not get distracted by the dangling shiny objects. We need to look for the real stuff. The Feds control immigration, so the EO about restricting immigration is real. What else? What is Congress doing? Killing the ACA. Trying to kill Medicare and Medicaid. That shit’s real.

  44. 44.

    Yarrow

    January 25, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Jake Tapper has a strong segment on the supposed voting fraud. “A stunning allegation for which the White House is providing no evidence. And there is a reason they are providing no evidence: there is no evidence. It is not true.” Goes on to say that Spicer didn’t share the belief that there is widespread voter fraud and then speculate why. He points out that if it were true then massive investigations would be required and they aren’t happening. He stresses the word “belief” several times, indicating it’s not fact it’s just a belief. It’s good stuff. Worth a look.

  45. 45.

    J R in WV

    January 25, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    @Yarrow:

    Of course it “works” – you can make them tell you whatever you want !!

    Isn’t that the whole point? Trump isn’t interested in facts, he needs to make people confess to whatever he needs them to confess to. Torture absolutely works for that, or to get “information” that will convict an enemy of – well, whatever you want.

    How is that not working, for some values of working? You gotta get wit da plan, guys!! You’re thinking Justice Department, when you should be thinking New York Mob!

    That’s what Trump is thinking about, after all.

    It’s all he knows, innit?

  46. 46.

    Lavocat

    January 25, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    The funniest thing about this video is that it perfectly captures how the rest of the world sees America right now. They realize that while most of us remain sane, a large portion of us have totally lost our shit. I think they’re mostly hoping that Donny Boy is more incompetent than he is evil. And he keeps proving them right every day.

  47. 47.

    Kay

    January 25, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    Before he was sworn in, President Donald Trump disappointed ethics experts by refusing to sell his business empire. Instead, he presented stacks of manila folders that supposedly contained “some of the many documents” he’d signed to give control of his companies to his adult sons.

    All a big staged, lie:

    Reporters weren’t allowed to see those documents. And according to Rep. Elijah E. Cummings (D-Md.), the Office of Government Ethics hasn’t seen them, either.

    Look at the photo of the Trump Family standing there with the phony folders probably full of blank sheets of paper. They lie like other people breathe.

  48. 48.

    zhena gogolia

    January 25, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    @Lavocat:

    I’m sorry, he’s more evil than he is anything. Anything.

  49. 49.

    zhena gogolia

    January 25, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    @Kay:

    SNL did a great thing with that. The lawyer tried to pick one up and they were all glued together in one phony cardboard heap.

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne

    January 25, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    @Lizzy L:

    Trump won Wisconsin and Michigan thanks to voter suppression. I am not going to take ANY of his statements about “voter fraud” for granted. Ever.

  51. 51.

    Sab

    January 25, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    @Ohio Mom: Did they die out of state? In my county in Ohio the board of elections is informed when the death certificate is issued. I was executor of my (disheartened Republican) mother’s estate.I went down to the board of elections to get her name off the roll so that the local repubs couldn’n’t cast a fraudulent absentee ballot, and her name had already been removed.

  52. 52.

    PIGL

    January 26, 2017 at 8:52 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Conrad Black should have walked into a bullet a long time ago. On behalf of Canada, I apologize to the world for his existence. OTOH, it was your lot who let him out of prison.

  53. 53.

    PIGL

    January 26, 2017 at 8:57 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Oh, it’s real enough. Conrad Black is an incredible piece of work….creepy malevolence wrapped in fake erudition.

  54. 54.

    John M. Burt

    January 27, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    My wife and I would like to say,
    “Dear Netherlands: Can we join you? We used to think we’d like for Oregon to be annexed to Canada, but upon reflection, we think you might be a better fit for us.
    “We’d makes a swell 13th province for you. You’ve already got a North Holland and a South Holland, we could be West Holland — or East Holland, either one would do.
    “We’d even settle for being a colony. It’s true that in spite of how enlightened and decent you are at home, you were actually the second-worst colonial power after Belgium, but would it be worse to be the Dutch West Indies (West) or the Dutch East Indies (East) than to be part of Donald Trump’s USA? It’s hard to imagine how.
    “We’re even willing to learn Dutch. We hear you have all the best words. Besides, Dutch sounds so much like English, much more than any other language (many English speakers have noticed this). Maybe we could sort of ease into it by learning Frisian.
    “Please contact Governor Kate Brown at http://www.oregon.gov/gov/Pages/contact.aspx
    “Erg Bedankt, John and Kathe Burt”

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