Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Republicans in disarray!

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

“Squeaker” McCarthy

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Fucking Pendejo

Fucking Pendejo

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Good thing this is not totally fucking insane or anything:

President Donald Trump threatened in a phone call with his Mexican counterpart to send U.S. troops to stop “bad hombres down there” unless the Mexican military does more to control them itself, according to an excerpt of a transcript of the conversation obtained by The Associated Press.

The excerpt of the call did not make clear who exactly Trump considered “bad hombres,” — drug cartels, immigrants, or both — or the tone and context of the remark, made in a Friday morning phone call between the leaders. It also did not contain Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto’s response.

Still, the excerpt offers a rare and striking look at how the new president is conducting diplomacy behind closed doors. Trump’s remark suggest he is using the same tough and blunt talk with world leaders that he used to rally crowds on the campaign trail.

A White House spokesman did not respond to requests for comment.

Those poor WH spokesman. On the other hand, maybe this is how we will end up with a taco truck on every corner.

Reader Interactions

178Comments

  4. 4.

    Trentrunner

    “tough” and “blunt”?

    If I threaten to rape a barista if she gets my order wrong, is that “tough” and “blunt”?

    Try, “Using a threat that would violate numerous treaties with our border neighbors as well as the Geneva conventions, Trump…”

    This shit is criminal. It’s not fucking “tough” and “blunt.”

  6. 6.

    jake the antisoshul soshulist

    The worst part is this would give 27% of the country a boner.
    Someone should explain to Trump that he is not the “hero” in a two bit action movie.
    He is not even the host of a two bit reality tv show anymore.

  8. 8.

    Ian

    Meixcan-American war 2. Or as they call it in Mexico, the last time our northern neighbour stole half our shit.

  9. 9.

    Yarrow

    @Trentrunner: Was just going to say the same thing. In no way is that “tough” and “blunt.”

    Our president just threatened to invade one of the countries with which we have a long, shared border. If I were Canada I’d get real busy on that wall.

  11. 11.

    Turgidson

    @jake the antisoshul soshulist:

    Judging from the fact that a Reuters poll shows that a plurality (49%, almost a majority) of the entire country, not just the braindead 27%, approves of his fucking Muslim ban, I shudder to think how popular his threats to occupy our neighbor to the south might be.

    It also makes me think we may need to revisit the Crazification Factor – 27% seems like a lowball estimate these days, doesn’t it?

  13. 13.

    weaselone

    This is how Trump apparently operates in business as well.
    1. Have a nice reasonably friendly conversation, come to a reasonable agreement.
    2. Show up, have a tantrum, make outrageous claims and demands
    3. Other party makes some sort of accommodation, like offering to accept lower payment, etc.
    4. Trump knows he’s got a sucker and launches full on attack, including lawsuits, other intimidation
    5. Other party ultimately accepts far worse compensation, etc. than the original agreement.

    Nieto needs to counter with an offer to keep doing exactly what he’s doing now and forget Trump’s outburst so long as the US agrees to send along a few 100 million extra dollars to help his efforts.

  14. 14.

    JMG

    If the President of Mexico has brain one, he’s arranging a state visit to Beijing next week, Let Trump know he’s fucking with WWIII and more to the point, his own incineration. Only thing he cares abot.

  15. 15.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (Formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    Fucking pendejo, indeed. The shitty thing is that President Manbaby’s fans will eat this up. I wonder how they’d feel if the president of Mexico threatened to send troops up here to take out our bad dudes (all the people who buy drugs and make the fucking market for the drug cartels in Mexico; shit, there wouldn’t be any drug cartels in Mexico if we didn’t buy the shit up here. It isn’t like they’re selling the drugs in Ecuador…) if we didn’t do it ourselves?

  16. 16.

    Thoroughly Pizzled

    @Trentrunner:

    The press will never adapt to covering Trump. Even if he throws them all in prison they’ll just commend him for winning the news cycle.

  17. 17.

    weaselone

    @Major Major Major Major: True. I mean, can you imagine what Hillary could have done in her first two weeks. I mean, she might be threatening war with Iran and a trade war with China in addition to pissing off the country directly to the south of us. Oh, wait.

  19. 19.

    XTPD

    So can we say goodbye to Arizona and Jesusland Saudi ArabiaTexas?

    At this rate, it’s increasingly implausible that Donald gets out of 2017 alive.

  21. 21.

    ? Martin

    @Turgidson: Be careful how those polls are phrased. When people are asked about refugees and immigration, they tend to be more strongly in favor. Once you put it in the context of what Trump has done, they seem to contradict themselves, suggesting that they favor Trump pissing off liberals or undoing something that Obama did, than they favor the actual policy behind the action.

    We don’t object to Gorsuch as much as we object to any nominee taking a seat we feel was Obama’s to appoint. It’s that same kind of dynamic. It’s why I think we’re in an early stage of a civil war. None of these fights are really about policy – they’re utterly nonsensical in many ways. The GOP is trying to bully and the Dems are pushing back. There’s no objection to reconcile, nothing to discuss. They hate us because we are Dems and we are unwilling to stop being Dems. So now we fight.

  22. 22.

    Timurid

    That’s prima facie impeachable if true.
    Mexico is denying it. Is that because they don’t want to be forced to act? Or is the staffer who leaked the bait enjoying some quality time in the White House basement with Steve Bannon and a bag full of oranges?

  24. 24.

    mai naem mobile

    I know Bannon wanta outrage fatigue so I still try and continue to pay attention but I cannot stand looking at Dolt 45s ugly face and the voice,oh gawd, the voice drives me around the bend. I don’t know how to deal with this for 4 fucking long ass years. And Pence is only marginally better as far as visual and audio.

  25. 25.

    JMG

    @Timurid: AP says it has original unedited transcripts confirming story. Doesn’t much matter. Everyone in Mexico is sure as hell going to believe it.

  29. 29.

    Turgidson

    @? Martin:

    This was the Reuters question: “Do you agree or disagree with the Executive Order that President Trump signed blocking refugees and banning people from seven Muslim majority countries from entering the U.S.?”

    It does not seem to be pushing respondents toward a particular answer. There’s just a whole fucking shitload of bigoted bedwetters in this country.

  30. 30.

    Yarrow

    Tamron Hall has left NBC and MSNBC. Apparently because Megyn Kelly is getting a show in that morning timeslot. Hope Corner Stone is okay.

  31. 31.

    Mike G

    WTF, Scrooge McFuck threatened to invade Mexico?
    It’s a good thing that doesn’t stir up any bad historical associations in that country.

  32. 32.

    ET

    Mexico would be in the right to send their troops to the border and start shooting should any whomever crossed – would anyone blame them? Of course I do think there is more than just a bit of bully-boy posturing mixed with his unfortunate tendency to flap his lips without thinking so who know what the ef he is thinking.

  33. 33.

    JPL

    @Mike G: According to the Washington Post, Trump is pissed at Australia also. He hung up after twenty-five minutes. The call was suppose to be a hour. Putin was nicer to him. (my interpretation)

  34. 34.

    Gravenstone

    Da fuk? Did that fucking imbecile actually threaten the president of a neighboring, sovereign nation with a blatant act of war? And used a fucking campaign buzz phrase in the process?

  35. 35.

    Yarrow

    @JPL: I hope Adam can weigh in on the Australia and Mexico conversations. Nothing like offending our allies. Way to make us safer.

  36. 36.

    hovercraft

    Where exactly is “down there”? Does he mean to the border, because I’m pretty sure there are already troops on the border. Does he mean that he wants to send troops into Mexico? I know he’s a moron, but does he honestly think Mexico would just stand by and watch us invade their fucking country? Someone in an earlier thread mentioned that it’s only fucking day 12, how bad will this be once he gets rolling full steam ahead? We’ll be at war with fucking everyone at the rate he’s going. Fucking pendejo!!!

  39. 39.

    TenguPhule

    Not content with attempting to start wars with China and Iran at the same time, Trumpvader wants to open a third front in Mexico.

    Is anyone else getting that sinking feeling yet?

  40. 40.

    cmorenc

    The potential wars looming on the horizon since Trump took office that weren’t there two weeks ago, before he took office:
    1) vs Mexico; (Invade to round up the bad hombres)
    2) vs Iran (“Iran is on notice”)
    3) vs China (“hot” trade war + threat of military action over islands in China Sea)

    …and he hasn’t even had time to really get going yet! Wait until you see Trump’s next trick!

  42. 42.

    Roger Moore

    @JPL:

    Putin was nicer to him. (my interpretation)

    Turnbull apparently pushed him about the US promising to take 1250 refugees currently in an Australian refugee camp. I doubt Putin asked him to do anything more than betray Ukraine.

  43. 43.

    JPL

    @Yarrow: Adam will state in the nicest way possible, that this is f..king nuts. You do know that this is the beginning of other countries joining in and releasing transcripts.

  44. 44.

    TenguPhule

    @JMG: Or he can subcontract out a donkey head to be delivered to the spouse in Trump Tower to one of the cartels. That might be the only way to get Mr. Untouchable’s attention.

  47. 47.

    Yarrow

    @cmorenc: And there’s an actual war heating up in Ukraine where we should be supporting Ukraine instead of Russia. We’ll see how that goes.

  48. 48.

    TenguPhule

    @cmorenc: He’s already threatening Japan and Germany over currency. It’s going to WW II, in reverse. This time Europe and Asia need to save us from the little man with a big ego.

  50. 50.

    debbie

    I hope other countries stand up to him too. Let him see how pitiful his deal-making gifts really are.

  55. 55.

    NeenerNeener

    At some point you would think Ryan and McConnell would be worried about being vaporized by one of the countries Twitler is currently harassing, and start thinking maybe the 25th Amendment against one of their own isn’t unthinkable after all.

  59. 59.

    Jeffro

    Hang it on Republican MoCs and most especially the leaders – McConnell, Ryan, McCain, Graham, and so on. Probably time to start asking them (since we’re edging into war with China, Iran, AND Mexico now, and it’s only the end of week 2): do GOP voters have sons and daughters who’ll die when we get into three shootin’ wars?? Won’t we ALL die if nukes start getting thrown around? What. Does. It. Take???

    And if they won’t rein the Trumpov/Bannon presidency in, then…hello, military brass? You’re not going to go along with this, right? Intelligence community and/or FBI CI unit, you’re going to cough up something soon, right?

  60. 60.

    Petorado

    I’m developing a theory that so many years of being bossed around by reckless MBA types has Americans believing that the key characteristic to being a leader is acting like a total a**hole to everyone. Intelligence agencies have to be thinking that the biggest threat to national security is in the White House.

  62. 62.

    cmorenc

    @schrodingers_cat:

    @cmorenc: I won’t even be surprised if he bombs a blue state that didn’t vote for him. After Assad and Putin are his role models.

    I predict one of Trump’s soon-upcoming ways to hippie-punch a substantial number of blue states, not long after Jeff Sessions is confirmed as AG (presuming he is confirmed) – will be an announcement that the Feds are immediately resuming strict enforcement of Marijuana as a Class 1 Controlled Substance – and raids against pot shops and growhouses by the DEA and FBI will be imminently forthcoming, with federal prosecutions of those involved to follow. Note that without exception, every state that has legalized medical marijuana under circumstances allowing liberal access is a blue or a purple state trending strongly blue (eg Colorado).

  63. 63.

    Yarrow

    @Petorado: Everything started going to shit when the MBAs started taking over. Makes sense he’s acting like the MBA president to destroy the country.

  66. 66.

    hovercraft

    @Major Major Major Major:

    how the new president is conducting diplomacy

    That’s what that was?

    The word is multisyllabic, so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know what it means. Since Pena Nieto is so much shorter than him, he probably thinks that waving those tiny hands of his and talking tough is all it will take to get him to bow down to him . After all the entire GOP has all fallen all over themselves to do his bidding.

  69. 69.

    XTPD

    @TenguPhule: Of course, but I’m really hoping that Neon Nguema gets deposed before WWIII starts. (Keeping in mind that even before then there’s SCOTUS and the AG office, among other things).

  73. 73.

    TenguPhule

    @Jeffro: They’re going along because that’s a threat in the near future. Trump’s brownshirts are available against them immediately. They don’t need a majority, just a minority concentrated in the right place to nudge the safety levers off.

  75. 75.

    Yarrow

    @Mnemosyne: Adam said that the pre-inauguration warning via Israel could mean our intelligence services “go dark” and stop getting info from our allies. Or at least limit what we get. I guess we’ll never know if that has happened or will happen, but even the concept of it is terrifying. So, yeah, we may already be “one eye” in what we have and can get.

  76. 76.

    Amir Khalid

    Dios mio. When POTUS says dumb, childish things like “bad hombres”, who is the official in charge of giving him a clip around the ears?

  77. 77.

    NeenerNeener

    @Jeffro: Trump promised to create 25 million jobs, maybe they will all be military. I have a hard time believing there are 25 million young, fit, ready to fight-and-die-for-him folks among his base, though.

  79. 79.

    Hoodie

    Remember when wingers were abuzz with rumors about a military coup to remove Obama from office? Seems much more likely with Trump.

  88. 88.

    Peale

    So I’m now predicting recession by July, if we can save ourselves from a shooting war.

    You’ve got about 20 million people who suddenly realize that they might need to make plans about where to live in the future, even if the orders ONLY affect people out of the country. Those people aren’t going to be spending a lot on new sofa’s, that’s for sure.
    You’ve got companies buying up stock like crazy from foreign suppliers like Mexico and China in case there is a future import tax or worse. That cuts into profits and rising physical stock will be taken as leading indicator by markets as recession.
    His EO on the Dreamers this week will basically cause a few hundred thousand people with jobs to lost those jobs
    Since he likes “surprises”, he’ll probably do something that will cause one of the major global banks to fail, sending the world into a panic.

    These are actually no brainers.

  93. 93.

    Cacti

    @efgoldman:

    Flynn’s sabre-rattling vs Iran today makes me much more nervous. War with Iran would make W’s little desert adventure look like a party.

    It would also end his bromance with Putin in a big hurry.

    Being scorned by his man crush could lead to a nuclear exchange.

  96. 96.

    TenguPhule

    @Van Buren: On the plus side, in the event of hostilities declared, Haley and every other Trumper and all the high GOP Congress and SC kapos become legitimate war targets.

    Good hunting, Mexico & Iran!

  101. 101.

    skerry

    I just read the Flynn statement on Iran. Don’t understand why he felt the need to trash President Obama while threatening a foreign country. Or whatever “on notice” means.

    The Obama Administration failed to respond adequately to Tehran’s malign actions—including weapons transfers, support for terrorism, and other violations of international norms. The Trump Administration condemns such actions by Iran that undermine security, prosperity, and stability throughout and beyond the Middle East and place American lives at risk.

    President Trump has severely criticized the various agreements reached between Iran and the Obama Administration, as well as the United Nations – as being weak and ineffective.

    Instead of being thankful to the United States for these agreements, Iran is now feeling emboldened.

    As of today, we are officially putting Iran on notice.”

  102. 102.

    Lizzy L

    OT but of interest: this from National Catholic Reporter:

    Breaking News: President Donald Trump has pledged to continue to enforce an executive order issued by President Barack Obama in 2014 that prohibits federal government contractors from discrimination based on “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” and forbidding “gender identity” discrimination in the employment of federal employees.

    Of course, his “pledge” is completely worthless. But interesting that he should choose to say this now.

  105. 105.

    lollipopguild

    @Hoodie: It will be interesting to see what happens when Trump orders the military to kill american citizens. We may see trump use nukes on another country and I would not put it past him to order nukes used on a part of America that has pissed him off.

  106. 106.

    SteveKnNKY

    i’m hoping for a tantrum with PM Trudeau. the orange menace threatens a northern border wall. PM Trudeau pays for it by dropping a billion Loonies on Mar-a-Largo. With the WH and probably Trump Tower being no fly zones.

  108. 108.

    TenguPhule

    @crawdad: And you trust Trump’s version? And you think Mexico’s government has no incentive to bury this?

    This is what happens when you piss away credibility on day 1.

  109. 109.

    VOR

    @JPL: Notice the article claims Trump talked about his electoral college “landslide” win and the enormous crowds at his inaguration. Does he think he can gaslight foreign leaders too?

    I miss George W. Bush.

  111. 111.

    coin operated

    @cmorenc:

    I predict one of Trump’s soon-upcoming ways to hippie-punch a substantial number of blue states, not long after Jeff Sessions is confirmed as AG (presuming he is confirmed) – will be an announcement that the Feds are immediately resuming strict enforcement of Marijuana as a Class 1 Controlled Substance – and raids against pot shops and growhouses by the DEA and FBI will be imminently forthcoming, with federal prosecutions of those involved to follow. Note that without exception, every state that has legalized medical marijuana under circumstances allowing liberal access is a blue or a purple state trending strongly blue (eg Colorado).

    I’ve been saying the same thing since Sessions’ name came up.

  114. 114.

    Jeffro

    @TenguPhule:

    They’re going along because that’s a threat in the near future. Trump’s brownshirts are available against them immediately. They don’t need a majority, just a minority concentrated in the right place to nudge the safety levers off.

    I hear you, but we’re not even done with week 2 yet and Trump’s antagonizing China, putting Iran “on notice”, getting ready to send US troops into Mexico, and antagonizing one of our closest allies. To say nothing of ignoring Russia’s advances on Ukraine of course. It won’t be long before he’s ordering strikes on countries whose leaders don’t kiss his ass and not just dropping sanctions on Russia but encouraging even more business partnerships (like Tillerson/Exxon’s) with Putin.

    Trump’s base is half of the GOP. There is another half that likely won’t put up with this, that don’t want their kids dying in stupid wars, that won’t let proof of collusion with Putin slide. At the very least, they won’t vote in large numbers in the midterms. We just need to oppose, oppose, oppose…and be sure to sketch out what Dems are offering, as proactively as possible.

    Indivisible and Swing Left!!

  115. 115.

    NotMax

    Did he stamp his widdle feet while throwing the tantrum on the phone?

    Magic 8-ball sez: “Come off it, you had to ask?”

    “Last time I’m going to tell you, Señor ‘Presidente,’ press 1 for English.”

  118. 118.

    EBT

    @efgoldman: Not sure they wouldn’t. Only some really close friends who served who swear they wouldn’t fire on US citizens keeps me from 100% assuming they would as well. The chair-force sure as shit would love to kill some godless lefties.

  119. 119.

    JPL

    @VOR: I tried to write something clever, but just can’t. This is f..king nuts. Tomorrow when we awake, more countries will recount their conversations with the Pres. Exciting times.

  120. 120.

    Jeffro

    @efgoldman:

    Who’s fucking army does he think would even follow an order to invade Mexico? Answer is, he doesn’t consider it.
    Flynn’s sabre-rattling vs Iran today makes me much more nervous. War with Iran would make W’s little desert adventure look like a party.

    Let’s not forget (not let GOP MoCs forget) that it’s not just Iran; the Trumpov administration has managed to antagonize China, put Iran “on notice”, AND talk smack to Mexico, plus alienate Australia…all before Week 2 is out…

  121. 121.

    Peale

    God. I really hope he doesn’t call Duterte between now and May 7. I did buy trip insurance this time, which I never do, in case those two hot heads don’t see eye to eye after all. Which is likely. They may think they are cut from the same “shoot from the hip stock” but…

  123. 123.

    boatboy_srq

    On the other hand, maybe this is how we will end up with a taco truck on every corner.

    Considering that tRump mispronounces his Spanish, and actually told Pena Nieto that Mexico has “bad hambres [hungers]” NOT “bad hombres [men]”, taco trucks are precisely what’s called for.

  128. 128.

    dexwood

    @Gravenstone:
    You beat me to it. And here I’ve been sleeping in my high desert redoubt hoping the more culturally and racially tolerant New Mexico might offer us some cover. Won’t happen with a war on our border.

  129. 129.

    p.a.

    Any more info on the Yemen raid? 1dead Seal, 6 dead kids, and a WH statement that it was ‘not successful 100%’. If they’re saying < 100% does that mean total clusterfuck?

    Also too, CNN had film of tRump & his nurse aid (Ivanka) visiting the Gold Star family with a chyron: 'tRump makes unannounced visit' How is it unannounced if it's being filmed? Or did they mean unannounced to the family?

    I picked a bad week to listen to Joy Division. gorram…

  130. 130.

    danielx

    @NeenerNeener:

    At some point you would think Ryan and McConnell would be worried about being vaporized by one of the countries Twitler is currently harassing, and start thinking maybe the 25th Amendment against one of thier own isn’t unthinkable after all.

    I’d be willing to bet it’s been a topic of conversation, but only under four eyes as the saying goes.

  131. 131.

    Timurid

    @JPL:

    I’m trying to imagine what happens when Trump tries this on somebody as psycho as he is:

    NARENDRA MODI: …and in conclusion, we strongly protest your newest Executive Order on immigration, which causes great harm to Indian citizens and businesses.

    TRUMP: Protest?! Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch? Go home and get your shine box, you greasy little wog!

    MODI: Shine box? Wait… Did you even watch Goodfellas? Or do you just repeat the quotes you hear on the 4-Chan Pepe forums? Do me a favor. Download a copy of the movie and watch it. When you’re done, call me back and tell me what happened to Billy Batts after he told Tony to get his shine box. Then we can talk some more about what a tough guy you are… *CLICK*

    12 HOURS LATER: Truck bombs level Google’s Indian headquarters and set Trump Tower Mumbai ablaze.

    TRUMP: For fuck’s sake, Narendra, you know I didn’t mean it!

    MODI: That thing? That thing that just happened? Very deniable. Like nine layers of compartmentalized deniability. So I guess I didn’t mean it either. Have a nice day, Donald. Oh, and before you go… you might want to think about never ordering Indian food again. Ever. Because bad things happen, even when people don’t really mean it. Ciao…

  132. 132.

    Peale

    @efgoldman: I need proof that he wasn’t admitted as an affirmative action applicant, abusing the racial quotas that keep well-heeled but average African Americans out of top univrsities.

  133. 133.

    Lizzy L

    @Peale:

    Do you know how many LGBT people there are who could get to Manhattan for a protest?

    All of us, Katie!

    Except San Francisco would stage its own protest. And Seattle. And Boston. And Austin. And…

  135. 135.

    Ian

    @Petorado:
    The biggest threat to national security has been, continues, and will always be the christianist right, with their love of gun humping white blue eyed Jesus who never said nutin about the poor. These people turned out for a thrice married pussygrabber, and they far and away commit the most violence in this country.

  141. 141.

    RepubAnon

    @Ian: If I were the President of Mexico, I’d invite the Chinese Navy over for a visit… maybe offer military base negotiations

  142. 142.

    Peale

    I know we like to punch hippies, but looking around the world right now makes me think that the whole “Trust US. Disarmament would be a disaster. MAD is the only way to ensure that nukes won’t be used” approach was a big mistake. Hippies. Right on Nukes since 1966.

  143. 143.

    Timurid

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Yeah, I remember when half of Ybor City was leveled in a 9/11-style spectacular attack with several thousand fatalities and tens of thousands left homeless… When questioned about his rumored ties to the terrorists, Rick Scott just giggled nervously and said, “Well I guess those spics kinda had it coming…”

    Good times.

  144. 144.

    jonas

    @Peale: You have to remember, affirmative action in the 60’s at an Ivy League school = your dad was the admission dean’s old frat brother and after a phone call or maybe a few highballs at the club in downtown Manhattan, you slapped each other on the shoulder and were like “Aw, hell, Fred. Maybe it’s the Turkey talkin’, but shit, you done alright by my nephew with that place out in Brighton, so we’ll give lil’ Don a shot. Whaddya say?”

  145. 145.

    Mnemosyne

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I’m older than I look — I was actually 11. ? The first presidential election I was eligible to vote in was HW Bush vs Dukakis, but I was away at college in another state and failed to apply for an absentee ballot. My first presidential vote was for Bill Clinton.

    The only stain on my record is my idiotic Nader vote in 2000, of which I am now rightly ashamed.

  149. 149.

    jonas

    @Iowa Old Lady: Well, one, it’s the AP, not some obvious fakenews source like zappnewz.com or something. Second, they asked the WH for comment and the inquiry wasn’t “immediately returned.” It seems like if a reporter calls up and asks you to confirm or deny that the president has vaguely threatened war with Mexico, they’d be “holy shit, no way!” pretty quickly. Third, *of course* both countries would deny it, because it’s insane. I’m sure Mexico’s ambassador was on the phone about 10 seconds later with whatever 3rd-string intern is covering the Latin America desk at the moment at State working through a way to walk it back and pretend it never happened.

  151. 151.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Timurid: To the Indian voter’s credit they gave every combination of a coalition government a chance before they gave Modi’s party an absolute majority. Indira Gandhi and her descendants are responsible for the atrophy of the once glorious Indian National Congress. Indian voters had quite simply run out of options.

  152. 152.

    Timurid

    @schrodingers_cat: He is still the same person as Prime Minster that he was as Governor. Presented with the right (or wrong) threat or opportunity, he will react the same way. I have no reservation in saying that Modi is unfit for the office he holds, just as Trump is unfit for his.

  155. 155.

    Timurid

    I do realize that Congress is an order of magnitude more dysfunctional than the Democrats. In light of that, Vajpayee or equivalent might be defensible. Modi is never defensible.

    One last point and I’ll put down my circular rifle… If the fictional terror attack I described above really happened, and Rick Scott was involved in the same way as Modi and Godhra… just how terrified would you be if Scott were elected President?

  156. 156.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @JPL:

    Even in conversations marred by hostile exchanges, Trump manages to work in references to his election accomplishments. U.S. officials said that he used his calls with both Turnbull and Peña Nieto to mention his election win or the size of the crowd at his inauguration.

    What the frap?

  157. 157.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Timurid: That’s your interpretation, not mine.You are twisting my words to support your moral outrage. Modi is a monster, and I have not minimized or denied his role in Godhra.
    That said he cannot do as much damage as T on the world stage because compared to the United States India is a small player on the global stage.
    Also, please show me where he has colluded with Pakistan or sabotaged his opponent’s campaign using info from a hostile foreign power.

  159. 159.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Timurid: Godhra was not a terror attack at all, more of an anti-Muslim pogrom. Unfortunately Hindu-Muslim riots in India are not uncommon. Another legacy of the glorious empire of which the Partition was among the worst. I am not defending Modi. I am just comparing the horrible realities in the two countries I have close ties to.

  160. 160.

    Timurid

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I was trying for black humor with my fictional phone call above. I tried to fill the role of ‘world leader you don’t want to fuck with,” and my first thought was Putin. But Trump is his best buddy. So Modi, then. I have one good thing, and one thing only, to say about Modi. If and when Trump steps to him, he will get punched in the mouth.

  161. 161.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Timurid: Not just Modi. He won’t get away with that shit with Lalu Prasad Yadav or even Mamta Banerjee or Jayalalitha when she was alive. Indian politicians may be corrupt as fuck but they are tough sons-of-bitches.

  164. 164.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Timurid: He is a tough son-of-a-bitch. Don’t let his country bumpkin exterior fool you. He was a pretty competent Chief Minister and then a Railway minister. Stood up to Mrs. Gandhi during emergency.

  165. 165.

    Debbie1

    @JPL: So, Tr*mp threatens the president of Mexico AND the prime minister of Australia? Good God, that guy’s like the Evil Oprah: “You get a threat! You get a threat! Everybody gets a threat!”

  166. 166.

    sukabi

    If threatening to bomb / invade, or whatever “military action” means, in the vacuum between drumpf ears, is his way of getting Mexico to pay for the wall, he might succeed in getting them to build the fucking wall to keep us out.

  167. 167.

    Timurid

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I do laugh at Lalu jokes, but I know that the genre of ‘dummy’ jokes often targets groups that are smart and accomplished. See also; Sardarji jokes, or in Texas, Aggie jokes (about graduates of Texas A&M, actually a pretty elite engineering school).

    I’m going to go to hell for this, but now I’m envisioning a Bollywood war movie… the setting is a command bunker. The light fixtures sway as explosions can be heard in the distance.

    GENERAL: Sir, American tanks have entered the city. We should prepare to evacuate.

    PM LALU: (Grabs the jug of corn whiskey sitting on his desk and takes a deep swig. Wipes his lips, reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a pump shotgun, chambering a round) Don’t you worry, son! We’re gonna show ’em how it’s done!

    Yep. straight to hell…

  168. 168.

    cmorenc

    @Ian:

    @cmorenc:
    And where does Alaska fall on your blue to purple spectrum?

    Alaska is a bit sui generis – GOP, but at the same time vastly more libertarian-leaning than any other predominately red state.

  169. 169.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Timurid: His Twitterfeed during the Bihar elections was full of win and awesome. Hindi is Lalu’s first language while Modi’s Hindi is stiff and correct. KInda like a German speaking in English. M was no match in the back and forth.

  170. 170.

    Timurid

    @schrodingers_cat: It’s too bad my Hindi is shit; otherwise that would be worth a look.

    My next project: A ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ reboot set in Bihar. I’m stuck on what general to name Lalu’s car after. The ‘Tatya Tope’ is kind of a mouthful.

  173. 173.

    Captain C

    Fucking hell, we have Buzz Windrip III as president, if Buzz Windrip III was a sleazy Queens developer.

  176. 176.

    Captain C

    @JPL:

    Putin was easier to talk to than Turnbull

    I’m guessing Trump doesn’t owe Turnbull’s gangster buddies a cool half billion.

  178. 178.

    Ian

    @efgoldman:
    Nixon did away with it, Carter brought it back.

    Interesting question, there has been a push to include women in selective service drafts. BJ commentariat, yeah or nay?

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