The Trump administration is now literally on the side of kicking puppies:
The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) today removed public access to tens of thousands of reports that document the numbers of animals kept by research labs, companies, zoos, circuses, and animal transporters—and whether those animals are being treated humanely under the Animal Welfare Act. Henceforth, those wanting access to the information will need to file a Freedom of Information Act request. The same goes for inspection reports under the Horse Protection Act, which prohibits injuring horses’ hooves or legs for show.
The agency said in a statement that it revoked public access to the reports “based on our commitment to being transparent … and maintaining the privacy rights of individuals.”
The reports apply to 7813 facilities that keep animals covered by the law. Roughly 1200 of these are research labs, which are often housed at major academic centers or run by government agencies themselves, including the National Institutes of Health, the Food and Drug Administration, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Although the act covers animals like dogs and chimpanzees, it does not cover rodents like laboratory mice.
These motherfuckers.
Hunter Gathers
Something, something, emails.
pamelabrown53
Who in the hell comes up with these stunners?
Mary G
Now they have knitters and animal lovers pissed off, they will be sorry.
burnspbesq
Wait a sec: they revoked public access to these data because of a commitment to transparency?
What am I missing here?
Spanky
@burnspbesq: The point that they don’t give a fuck what you (we) think.
brendancalling
It’s almost comically evil.
“Next, we will… STRANGLE A BABY EVERY DAY.”
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (Formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
What’s wrong with these people? What’s wrong with Trump? These people have serious problems. I know, I know, I’m not telling anybody anything they don’t already know…
GregB
@burnspbesq:
They obviously feed all press releases into an Orwell Sentence Generator.
Mnemosyne
I remember when Republican legislators in Missouri reversed a voter initiative to ban puppy mills, because Republicans are just that big of assholes.
SiubhanDuinne
Okay, now I’m pissed.
Adria McDowell (formerly LurkerExtraordinaire)
@brendancalling: Pro-LYYYYFE!
OT: someone mentioned over at LGM that CNN is refusing to put CobraAnne Conway on. Perhaps someone over there grew some balls and/or ovaries?
Davis X. Machina
The entire concept of the state, in Trumpland, is that it is primarily a mechanism to get people.
Get the Muslims
Get the liberals
Get the women
Get the hippies
Get the blah people
Get the Jews
Get the Mexicans
Get the foreigners.
Get the readers, and people who know stuff.
Get the ‘bad guys’.
It’s basically the Weltanschauung of a nine-year old boy.
Capri
USDA is woefully under-manned when it comes to Animal Welfare Act inspectors, This makes it easier to keep that under the radar.
Yarrow
Newspeak.
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
It’s like the NextGen episode where the fake Picard tries to see how much bizarre behavior the crew will tolerate.
BTW, can “Bowling Green Massacre” become a regular tag for fake news? I suspect we’ll need it again.
amk
@burnspbesq: brain fuckery? alternate factism?
orwell must so wishing to get out of his grave.
Feathers
A government of the lulz, by the lulz, for the lulz shall cause everyone to perish on this earth.
RealityBites
I posted on here a while back about Brian Klippenstein of Protect the Harvest being on the transition team. I’m sure he had a hand in this. Any level of cruelty to animals, whether they’re pets or for food production, will be OK because PROFITS.
SiubhanDuinne
@Tara the Antisocial Social Worker:
Heh. Just saw a sign on FB:
LOL
Lizzy L
https://www.govtrack.us/congress/committees/SSAF
Click on the link to see the members of the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry.
It ain’t good.
oklahomo
Are they just going down the list of federal agencies and asking themselves, “What evil can we do here and yet make mad cash?”
p.a.
Did it mention shitgibbons? Are they unprotected now too?
Pogonip
Cole, did you see your shadow yesterday? Will there be 6 more weeks of moving?
(In all seriousness, I hope it went well, that it’s all over, and that the frat boys didn’t drop anything too expensive.)
amk
now, for some good news.
Omnes Omnibus
@p.a.: They ain’t particularly endangered at the moment.
Ruckus
@oklahomo:
“What evil can we do here and yet
makesteal mad cash?”Fixit for you.
RealityBites
@Pogonip: saw on Twitter that the groundhog came out, looked around, and applied for asylum in Canada.
Aleta
This is too sad for real. Is there no review procedure they have to through to take formerly public info and make it off limits? Did they get a judge to rule?
Lizzy L
@Lizzy L: The USDA is under the jurisdiction of the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry. There is a matching House Committee.The phone number of the Senate Committee is 202-224-2035.
Pick your battles.
oklahomo
@Ruckus: agree!
Omnes Omnibus
@Aleta:
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa… gasp! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Aleta
@RealityBites: He’s free at last, especially from this meaningless hazing ritual.
Aleta
@Omnes Omnibus: You’re in a joyous mood.
Tripod
Donald Trump kicks puppies.
chopper
makes sense to me. it’s trumpworld!
Это курам на смех
Two weeks down; only one hundred and two to go.
Omnes Omnibus
@Aleta: You misinterpret my laughter.
Timurid
Donald Trump will have to grow a mustache, just so he can twirl it.
Omnes Omnibus
@Timurid: Isn’t that what he does with his hair?
Roger Moore
@brendancalling:
And if that baby is black or brown, the Republican base will cheer every day.
Mike J
Philip Bump does the math. Trump paid people $50 a head to go to his rallies during election. At that rate, somebody paid 57 million for people to protest against him.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/02/03/heres-how-much-the-anti-trump-protests-cost-at-trump-paid-turnout-rates/
Aleta
@Omnes Omnibus: Believe me I get it. Was stating the opposite for lightly bitterhearted effect.
amk
Mnemosyne
Everyone with TCM should be watching “Blazing Saddles.”
Bart just defeated Mongo.
Mike J
@Mnemosyne: Candygram for Mongo!
amk
@Mike J: libtards work for cheap… like free.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mike J: Woses. How owdinawy.
Aleta
@Mnemosyne: I can’t see T at a desk without seeing “Work work work.”
Another Scott
There must be a way to take advantage of Cleek’s Law in this situation (and the rest of Trump’s term) and use it against them.
(Thinking out loud…)
1) Set up a 501.c(3) or (4) or whatever.
2) Get George Soros and the Clinton Foundation to make a nominal donation
3) Have Soviet-style or DPRK-style posters made up singing Trump’s and Bannon’s praises:
“Great Leaders Trump and Bannon – что делает Америку великой снова!”
“Support Trump and Bannon – Keep America Safe from Evil Foreigners!”
“Support Trump and Bannon – America’s Wages are Too High!”
“Support Trump and Bannon – Show that you agree that nothing they do could make them unpopular!”
“Support Trump and Bannon – The guy who said “The liberty of the press is essential to the security of freedom in a state” was a sad loser!”
“Support Trump and Bannon – Now’s our chance to be just like Putin’s Russia!”
4) Have regular press conferences with the Yes Men and similar experts.
“OMG! Sorros and the Clinton Foundation are supporting Trump and Bannon!!11”
If they want to live by Cleek’s Law, then we should mess with their minds via Poe’s Law.
Hey, I can dream, can’t I?
Cheers,
Scott.
Mnemosyne
@Mike J:
“I’m not a wabbit! I need some west —
— eeeesssst”
Lyrebird
@Lizzy L: Actually there are some good folks on there who *might* be willing to at least point out the hypocrisy if not call out the needless abetting of cruelty. Thanks for laying out the info for suitable action!
Disclosure: I say this as someone who works in a field that is… close to some of the research involved; I’m not wholesale against nonhuman animal studies. I am able to recognize and oppose blatant cruelty, though, and I agree they should not be taking away the current level of transparency.
Mike J
That’s my arm.
amk
first they came for muslims.
now, will they come for cole’s critters?
Lyrebird
@Another Scott: Well for a mere hundred bucks a pop you could have a nicely-done custom poster made with their faces airbrushed into classic Soviet propaganda posters!
Your slogans are awesomer, though.
Mnemosyne
@Mike J:
Please, baby. You’re making a German spectacle of yourself.
Omnes Omnibus
Baby, please, I am not from Havana.
Omnes Omnibus
What’s happening in the clean world?
Mike J
Unrelated to Lily von Shtupp, I used to have a cat named Schätze.
? Martin
@burnspbesq: Doubleplusgood duckspeaker there at the USDA.
Omnes Omnibus
I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.
? Martin
@Lyrebird: OMG. I know what I’m getting my son for Xmas! He’s fascinated with early soviet space program. He can be in it now!
? Martin
@oklahomo: Well, given they need to undo 2 things for every thing they do now…
SiubhanDuinne
@Tripod:
I think it was here at BJ fairly recently that several people noted there is no documentation anywhere that Republican President* ever had a pet dog, cat, hamster, guppy, weasel, or anything. Nor is there any indication that any of his children were pet-owners, at least not while they were living with him.
Not everyone has pets all the time, and there are lots of legitimate reasons to be petless (allergies, heavy travel commitments, lease prohibitions, etc.) but I’m willing to believe that Republican President* basically hates animals and is jealous of the attention they get.
So fuckem, to quote efg.
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
Can you repeat that?
Omnes Omnibus
@SiubhanDuinne: No hobbies or interests other than himself as well.
Pogonip
@RealityBites: Hee hee hee hee hee hee.
? Martin
@SiubhanDuinne: To be fair, NYC is one of the harder places in the US to have a pet. Plus, he seems to be afraid of everything – germs, stairs, muslims…
? Martin
@efgoldman: Well, children really are just a sentient colony of germs, so that kind of goes without saying for a germaphobe.
Pogonip
@amk: Not as long as Steve has dingleberries and Thurston keeps barfing in shoes.
Mnemosyne
Somebody go back and get a shitload of dimes!
? Martin
@Aleta: No, but given that it was public information, a daily FOIA request could be in order.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: Somebody’s gotta go back and get a shit-load of dimes!
@Mnemosyne: Damn it!
SiubhanDuinne
@Omnes Omnibus:
Could he be a philatelist or numismatist? Only if, like HM The Queen, his image appeared on every stamp and coin.
Daulnay
And the Onion cannot keep up with reality:
Onion
Reality
Mnemosyne
@SiubhanDuinne:
It could be worse. I’ve heard some seriously disturbing horror stories about narcissists who do have pets.
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
That’s what I get for quoting from memory. ?
Gravenstone
@burnspbesq: Republican-speak. You should be used to it by now. New-speak, only better.
danielx
@oklahomo:
Going way out on a limb here, but I’d guess that would be a large fuckin’ affirmative.
amk
@SiubhanDuinne: I wouldn’t inflict upon any puppies with donnie dick. Worse than a tick.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@SiubhanDuinne:
Nixon had Checkers, but that was before he was in the White House.
danielx
@Omnes Omnibus:
We get all that, but for what?
Lyrebird
@? Martin: Super – glad if the link could make someone smile. There’s a Nyet to fascism one that I’m tempted to just buy…
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: Piss on you, I’m working for Mel Brooks.
SiubhanDuinne
@? Martin:
What, his Manhattan landlord is going to tell him he can’t have a cat in his penthouse? He can’t afford a dog-walker?
I know he’d never acquire an Afghan, or an Egyptian Saluki, but he could easily get a nice Russian Wolfhound without any of his BFFs (Bigoted Fucking Friends) objecting.
Mike J
@Omnes Omnibus: Dey lose me, right after the bunker scene.
Mnemosyne
Piss on you — I’m working for Mel Brooks!
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne:
I implore you not to share them.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mike J: I love this movie, but it is no Young Frankenstein.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: Ha!
Steeplejack (tablet)
“Taxi! Drive me off this picture!”
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
We had to rewind slightly because we realized that a truck from a local bakery (Martino’s) was in one of the shots when Bart comes riding out of the studio lot. They still have the same logo and the same delicious tea cakes.
Omnes Omnibus
Keep the faith, brothers!
Mike J
@Omnes Omnibus: Blazing Saddles is so much better. Actual good social message told in a way to piss off the most people.
? Martin
@Lyrebird: Where’s that one?
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
Also a topic of conversation here. This one has more belly laughs, but Young Frankenstein is a better film.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mike J: We will have to agree to disagree.
Mike J
@Mnemosyne: Belly laughs are the standard for comedies.
SiubhanDuinne
@Steeplejack (tablet):
Nixon was awful in many, many ways, but I never for one minute thought he had any issues with Checkers. Or his Irish setter King Timahoe, for that matter. I actually think he was very kind and loving to them. NIXON, FFS.
Whereas I can easily envision Republican President* drop-kicking Tiffany’s kitten or Barron’s puppy or Eric’s pet snake halfway to Mars and back.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: That is my take. I also have sentimental, personal reasons for my preference.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@Omnes Omnibus, @Mnemosyne:
Eh, two milestone comedies in one golden year (1974).
Mnemosyne
@Mike J:
If you’re a fan of the Universal Frankenstein films — and I am — the sheer perfection of Young Frankenstein is astounding. And hilarious.
(It uses 90 percent of the plot of Son of Frankenstein, which is why Gene Wilder has Basil Rathbone’s mannerisms.)
Mike J
@Omnes Omnibus: If we’re returning to college film class it’s easy enough pick apart the shots and agree YF is better. If we have a bowl and a beer and watch both movies BS is more fun. Which is my standard.
YF really is good though.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@SiubhanDuinne:
I misread “Republican President*” as “Republican presidents.”
oklahomo
@? Martin: If only the TRO meant they now had to put two back.
Lyrebird
@? Martin: Look on the models page and scroll down or search for #279
It’s not as detailed as some of the posters, but it’s sadly pertinent… and the person on it has this big ol’ red scarf which has me thinking of Orwell’s 1984, a book I hated but not as much as I despise what’s being done by the current Republican administration!
@GregB nailed that one..
Mnemosyne
@Mike J:
C’mon, you don’t belly laugh at “What hump?”
Or “Frau Blucher!” (whinny)
Or “I was joking! Don’t you people understand the idea of a joke?!”
Need I go on?
Aleta
This is funny. https://twitter.com/TrumpDraws/status/827568589607694336
Mnemosyne
Also, too, since we’re discussing comedy, there are exactly two (2) scenes in my decades of movie-watching that get me to literally fall out of my seat laughing every time I see them. One of them is by Mel Brooks.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: The scalpel in the thigh. The old man in the classroom.
Timurid
@Mnemosyne:
Are you sure he doesn’t have pets? What happens in the catacombs under Trump Tower, stays in the catacombs under Trump Tower.
Morzer
https://theslot.jezebel.com/someone-is-paying-strangers-online-to-beg-for-betsy-dev-1791976320
Point to note: DeVos is an Amway heiress, so she knows all about pyramid schemes and fraudulent advertising.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne:
Yup, me too. I literally fell out of my seat in the theatre the first time I saw that scene.
My other one, FTR, is the chase-going-downhill-in-San-Francisco-with-the-big-pane-of-glass scene in What’s Up, Doc? Stupid movie which I mostly hate, but that one scene had me literally on the floor laughing.
Omnes Omnibus
@Timurid: Gimps are not pets.
Aleta
@SiubhanDuinne: According to my WH source, when the Trumps visited the Obamas, both Bo’s bared their teeth and then backed him up til he tripped over the Betsy Ross sewing basket.
Mnemosyne
@SiubhanDuinne:
This is my other scene. Literally fell on the floor of the movie theater the first time I saw it because I was laughing too hard to stay upright.
TenguPhule
@brendancalling: Skullfucking a kitten. At least they haven’t done that…..yet.
Mnemosyne
@Omnes Omnibus:
I’m with you, man. But I can kind of see that if you’re going to pick one of the two to watch after toking up, YF might have slightly too much plot.
Omnes Omnibus
@Aleta: All joking aside, animals can tell who like them. I once found myself at a party with my ex at her advisor/RA person’s house. I had nothing in common with them (marketing PhDs). I talked to the commercial pilot who was there. And I played with the dog. It was a shih-tzu – supposedly it hated everyone. He was rolling over on his back to make me scratch his belly. Everyone was shocked. Animals know.
Timurid
@Omnes Omnibus:
They’re alternative pets.
Omnes Omnibus
@Timurid: LOL
TenguPhule
@Mnemosyne: “FRANK EN STEEN!”
EBT
@Omnes Omnibus: Scalpel in the thigh reminds me of sextimes.
Omnes Omnibus
@TenguPhule: Blucher!
SiubhanDuinne
@Aleta:
I so want that to be true!
Yarrow
I think the Nerd Prom may be really lame this year.
Sam Bee’s party is going to be where it’s at.
Omnes Omnibus
@EBT: TMI, a bit and stuff.
seaboogie
I think what we are all missing here is the true nature of their goal, which is to give people who are too psycho/droolingly dysfunctional to cash their own SS checks access to guns so that they can go KILL ALL THE PUPPEEZ!!!!
Man, that “Have you no shame?” ship sailed on 1/20/2017 and is a barely visible speck on the horizon.
SiubhanDuinne
@Mnemosyne:
Hmm. Never saw (never was tempted to see) any of the Austin Powers movies. Perhaps I should reconsider … ?
Yarrow
@SiubhanDuinne: The first one is a classic.
SiubhanDuinne
@Yarrow:
Fixt.
TenguPhule
@SiubhanDuinne: See One and maybe two. Skip the third one. The jokes got flat at that point.
TenguPhule
@Yarrow: “That’s definitely *not* my Swedish Penis* enlarger!”
? Martin
@Lyrebird: Thanks. I’m looking at 213 or 215. He’s studying engineering, so 215 is suitable. The fascism one is tempting as well.
TenguPhule
@pamelabrown53: Didn’t you see that Late Night scoop. They have a big “Wheel O’ Evil” (TM) which they spin to decide what boundary of decency they will violate and mutilate each day.
Mnemosyne
@SiubhanDuinne:
The first one is hilarious. The second one has some moments (mostly with Mini Me.) The third one is a dud.
ETA: You are probably old enough to enjoy all of the 1960s references in first run, as it were.
Omnes Omnibus
@seaboogie: No one is missing anything. We are trying to live in the new world. Most of us here will resist. How? Up to everyone. All of us have different capabilities, let’s do what we can.
? Martin
@Yarrow: I don’t even know why they bother. It’s supposed to be a collegial event with the WH. I don’t see how anyone can even pretend there’s any collegiality there. Just cancel it.
Mnemosyne
Also, my fellow Hamilmaniacs, I’m sorry to have to report that we have officially reached #PeakHamilton. We may be forced to regroup after this.
seaboogie
@seaboogie: Any all y’all seen the movie “The Aristocrats”? These GOP kkrongresskritters and their supporters are the Bob Saget version of this joke, IRL.
Yarrow
@? Martin: Well, you know, scholarships, students, wouldn’t want to disappoint… It is dumb and has gotten way out of hand. It was probably a rather boring event at some point. Maybe it should go back to that. I think that #ObamaOut mic drop was the end of the WHCD as we knew it.
seaboogie
@Omnes Omnibus: I hear you and am with you. Trying to stay apprised of current events without getting obsessed, so as to maintain some equilibrium – putting the oxygen mask on myself first, so I can help the less able – as it appears that it will be a long road back to reinstating our past achievements, and that will have to count as progress in the near-ish term.
EBT
@Yarrow: Sam Bee’s event that night will almost certainly be objectively better.
Yarrow
@Mnemosyne: The first one is great fun and all the 1960’s references are hilarious. It’s also a fun take on the Jame Bond genre for anyone who is a fan of those. I love the first one. The rest not so much.
seaboogie
@Yarrow: I am kind of looking forward to WHCD this year, just because I believe it will be a really sick, mean-spirited, humorless and galling affair. Trump v. Press, and Trump’s revenge on Obama pantsing him in 2011. The jokes will fall like so many anvils. Possibly the press will get more “woke”.
Yarrow
@EBT: Pretty much anything Sam Bee does is objectively better.
Yarrow
@seaboogie: Trump hasn’t even said if he’ll show up yet. And they can’t get anyone to host. I think it could be really boring, especially if the fun people are over at Sam Bee’s party raising money for the Committee to Protect Journalists.
?BillinGlendaleCA
As I mentioned the other night, the premier for “Blazing Saddles” was held at a drive-in theater in Burbank(the Pickwick, it’s no longer with us), but no automobiles were allowed. You had ride in on your horse.
seaboogie
@Yarrow:
I’d have figured Dennis Miller was a lock on hosting, because he’s such a snide, mean-spirited righty mofo. Trump was the guest of “honor” at a Comedy Central roast, but that was before he knew how much so many people hate him, so with the marches and losses piling up, I can see how he’d want to just get in his silk jammies and twitter/fondle his Samsung 3 instead.
Aleta
Wapo today:
The FCC is stopping 9 companies from providing subsidized Internet to the poor.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2017/02/03/the-fcc-is-stopping-9-companies-from-providing-subsidized-broadband-to-the-poor/?utm_term=.a70a1173a5dc
Sadists.
Yarrow
@seaboogie: It’s not until April 29, so maybe they’ll find a host by then. According to the article the hosts haven’t always been comedians.
Peale
@Aleta: just temporarily, so they can weed out the waste, fraud and abuse of this program that costs ten million dollars! Must be widespread fraud.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@SiubhanDuinne:
Maybe he doesn’t trust his kids around pets.
Captain C
@burnspbesq: Sociopathic cynicism as written by Derrida.
Gretchen
Missouri is a puppy mill state. Democrats have been trying to stop it. Republicans are trying to resist it, because they are evil.
Mnemosyne
@efgoldman:
I wasn’t quite sure what the sticky spots on my pants seat were afterwards, but I assure you that I did fall onto the theater floor.
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
It’s kind of cheating, though, since Pickwick is across the street from the Equestrian Center.
prob50
but how will the puppies ever learn to bhave if we can’t kick, abuse, and torture them. If you don’t smack them around for tearing up one of your old socks the next thing you know they’ll be shitting in your slippers.
Slippery slope and all that, ya’ know
J R in WV
Many many years ago we visited neighbors, to watch movies they had rented, VHS tapes, so that long ago. I fell off my chair laughing, and pulled a muscle in my abdomen that hurt for months. So literally busted a gut laughing. No chemicals (other than home brewed beer) were used in the course of the injury.
So comedy can be really dangerous if you OD on a joke. Be careful, friends. Beware!
prob50
@SiubhanDuinne:
Another Scott
@? Martin: LAO seems to be making it work in NYC.
Dogs Obey Trump?
Cheers,
Scott.
Another Scott
@Mike J: I think we all know who Frau Blücher is in the Trump White House…
Cheers,
Scott.
Another Scott
@Mnemosyne: Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam had that effect on me. Living in Cincinnati at the time it came out, helped. ;-)
Brooks is a genius though.
Cheers,
Scott.
Another Scott
@seaboogie: I don’t understand how you can say that. Donnie always gives the funniest, kindest, bestests, most loving speeches at comedy roasts, remember?
:-/
Cheers,
Scott.
Michael Corliss
@burnspbesq:
Read “1984.”
Michael Corliss
Read”1984.” It explains all of this.