Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Republicans in disarray!

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

The revolution will be supervised.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Fuck the Patriots

Reader Interactions

201Comments

  4. 4.

    how42itous

    First Trump then the Patriots. I guess it’ll be the Flyers winning the cup and a Cards/Yankees World Series too.

  5. 5.

    Zinsky

    Brady is an ignorant, right-wing, narcissistic tool with a foreign-born supermodel wife just like another prominent asshole I’m thinking of…

  29. 29.

    Ajabu

    As I said downstairs, I’ll say again:
    I’ve never watched a football game before but watched this because I wanted Patriots to lose & it looked good.
    So, let me get this straight. In overtime, whoever scores first, wins? WTF is that? Essentially, whoever wins the coin toss is the winner? In the NBA, overtime is 5 minutes. You start out tied, play for 5 minutes & the team with the most points at the end of that time wins. Reasonable & Fair. American football is some truly stupid shit…

  30. 30.

    PaulW

    FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU cough wheeze UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    Now you know why I root for the Bucs.

  31. 31.

    Lavocat

    Awesome 2nd half! The Falcons stole defeat from the jaws of victory! Also, too, the Russians did it all, no doubt.

  32. 32.

    Another Scott

    @Juju: I saw the last minute, plus the overtime. That was enough.

    The game was decided on a coin toss (first to score in overtime, wins).

    The game turned on a defensive pass interference call (guy had his hand and arm all up in the Pats guy’s face).

    It’s a shame that the Falcons didn’t win, but Brady showed, one more time, that he won’t give up.

    It’s a shame that the game is so tied up with Trump, though… :-( He’s naturally already got a tweet up about it.

    Back to the barricades tomorrow, right?!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  35. 35.

    khead

    With 3:56 left in the game, Atlanta had a 2nd and 11 at the NE 22 leading 28-20. Julio Jones had just made a catch that was headed to Super Bowl history. An all-timer. The kind of catch immortalized by NFL Films. Two more handoffs and a FG attempt is all that was required from there. If Bryant blows the FG then it’s on him. If not, it’s game over. Putting this one on the Falcons coaching staff.

  37. 37.

    p.a.

    from 2015

    “The Patriots are 15-7 (.682) when Brady passes the ball 50 or more times, including the postseason. Every other team in modern NFL history (since 1960) has combined to go 100-386-6 (.209) in this situation. The Brady Patriots have singularly won 13 percent of all the 50-attempt victories during the past 55 years of professional football. Lamonica, by the way, never attempted 50 passes in a game.

    Victory in these bombing campaigns is difficult for two reasons: First, it’s usually a sign of desperation. Most NFL teams tend to pass the ball that often only when they’re down big. Second, desperate quarterbacks tend to throw interceptions, sometimes multiple. And teams simply don’t win when they throw interceptions.

    Brady and the Patriots, however, are utterly unique in their ability to win these games: Brady is the career leader in 50-attempt games (22), 50-attempt wins (15) and 50-attempt winning percentage (.682).

    Nobody else is close.

    Peyton Manning is second with 17 50-attempt games, and he’s just 4-13 (.235) in those contests.”

    Aaron Rogers has never had to do this, not even once.

  41. 41.

    Lyrebird (on new device)

    I dunno, I have been very discouraged about Brady and woulda been okay with them losing, but I gotta say – at the end there? He was so clearly all about the team, and about the game. All those cameras, he was trying to push past them, not basking at all. But he looked up and saw (I think?) Ryan and swiftly gave him a big arm-shake hug thing whatever. And when he was overcome (exhausted and or crying), he didn’t look up until it was one of his teammates.

    I respect that level of commitment.

  42. 42.

    ? Martin

    I think it’s worth noting that Donald Trump gave up on the Patriots when they were down 28-3. NE fought on regardless and won. Even when Trump picks a winner, he gives up on them at the first sign of trouble. Fuck him. Fight on everyone.

  43. 43.

    Kryptik

    @Ajabu:

    As I said downstairs, I’ll say again:
    I’ve never watched a football game before but watched this because I wanted Patriots to lose & it looked good.
    So, let me get this straight. In overtime, whoever scores first, wins? WTF is that? Essentially, whoever wins the coin toss is the winner? In the NBA, overtime is 5 minutes. You start out tied, play for 5 minutes & the team with the most points at the end of that time wins. Reasonable & Fair. American football is some truly stupid shit…

    Used to be that way. Recent changes have made it slightly more fair, in that if the first score is a field goal rather than a TD, the other team still has a chance to score and either tie or win outright. If the first team scores a Touchdown though, that’s game outright.

    It’s not really comparable since it’s not determined by a coin toss, but NHL still has Sudden Death and International Soccer used to have golden goal still until however long ago, so…yeah.

  45. 45.

    Bruuuuce

    @Omnes Omnibus: Might be. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of folks had put off watching until after the SB stream was out of their devices. It’s really well done; do keep trying

  47. 47.

    RinaX

    @khead:

    At that moment I wanted them to do anything but give it to Ryan, because I KNEW he would get sacked. As you said, just hand the ball off and get the field goal.

  51. 51.

    Cacti

    I’m not sure which was more painful:

    The Falcons collapse in slow motion, or Pete Carroll calling a quick slant from the 1-yard line instead of just handing the damn ball to Marshawn Lynch.

  53. 53.

    ? Martin

    @khead: Yeah, I think that’s pretty fair. But taking a FG on first down is a tough call to make. And if you miss in the Super Bowl, that’s a whole other level of highlight reel.

  54. 54.

    Juju

    @Another Scott: Thanks for the explanation. I have never watched more than five minutes of any football game, and only once or twice at that. At least now I have a slight idea of what happened.

  57. 57.

    Kryptik

    @Onkel Fritze:

    Ah, really? I thought golden goal lasted longer than that. I’ll admit I’m pretty ignorant about soccer history that way, but was it like it is now, with the full overtime periods played out, or Silver Goal?

  60. 60.

    Tom Q

    I kind of got the bad feeling when Joe Buck described the Falcons’ 16-point lead as a “two score” lead — it seemed to stretch the outer edges of the term, and almost gave me the feeling he knew what was coming,

    From there on, it was Election Night all over again. And, like on Election Night, I turned off the TV before it was over — specifically, when the Falcons managed to piss away that possession on the 21-yard line where a field goal would have sealed the deal. I didn’t care enough to put up with the possibility of a Patriot win. REALLY happy I wasn’t around to see it.

    Atlanta did seem to have a knack for holding penalties on third down, didn’t they?

  61. 61.

    efgoldman

    Hey Cole
    If the Stillers could get a defensive coach who didn’t play the same defense they’ve been playing for 35 years, maybe they could win once in a while in the playoffs.

    ‘Fie wuz Brady and Belichick, I’d retire tomorrow.

  63. 63.

    MomSense

    I’m pretty sure this is my fault. I’m a lifelong Pats fan who was rooting for the Falcons. If I had been hoping for a Pats win it probably would have turned out better.

  66. 66.

    Cacti

    @Tom Q:

    specifically, when the Falcons managed to piss away that possession on the 21-yard line where a field goal would have sealed the deal.

    When they managed to screw that up, I was sure they were going to lose.

    The play calling on their last possession when they still had 52 seconds but no times outs also had me scratching my head.

  68. 68.

    Tom Q

    On further thought: maybe this will put the universe back in order. Everything went haywire when the good-guy Cubs uncharacteristically won the World Series. Having the bad-guy/inevitable Patriots win this could bring us back to normal.

  70. 70.

    ? Martin

    @Tom Q: And yet the Pats didn’t score with those penalty benefits, so they didn’t really hurt Atlanta.

    But once NE started to get their momentum going, it really started to look like a Tom Brady game. Get the other team off balance a bit, quick huddles, lots of short passes, and they just march up the field. But man, did their first half suck bad.

  71. 71.

    Mike G

    Trump (probably) —
    “The Patriots won by the largest margin history. There was so much fraud by the refs, all in favor of the Falcons.”

  74. 74.

    Onkel Fritze

    @Kryptik: Not sure I understand your question. It was a sudden death goal. Nowadays it’s back to the old rules, 2×15 minutes overtime, then penalties if still tied.

    Wikipedia tells me that they had it from 93-2004, I don’t even remember the ‘Silver Goal’ rule.

  75. 75.

    dr. bloor

    @lurker dean: That was toward Roger Dodger.

    The politically-based rooting for one team or another in the NFL is bizarre. The NFL is an industry run by a handful of billionaires who spend their time trying to cover up the fact that their employees are at risk for life-threatening brain damage as a matter of course by carrying out their jobs. When they’re not doing that, they’re fleecing cities and states around the country for sweetheart real estate deals.

    Rooting for one team or against another is tantamount to pulling for the heel or the hero in professional wrestling. If you didn’t spend the evening reading a book, the NFL pwned you.

  76. 76.

    Cacti

    @chopper:

    i don’t care who you root for, the fact that you have an AOL address makes me want to send you hate mail.

    Beat me to it.

    I was going to say if you have an AOL address, your life is probably hard enough that you don’t need hate mail.

  78. 78.

    ? Martin

    @lurker dean: After the heavy boos for Goodell, that message was well received. It was a pretty clear dig at him for how deflategate was handled, and there was a pretty clear mission within NE to win the Superbowl just to show Goodell that even with a 4 game suspension, they’d still win. That was a big fuck you to the commish.

  79. 79.

    JPL

    @MomSense: This long time Pats fan is upset by the result. The electricity in the Atlanta area this week converted me. They should have kicked a field goal, when they had the chance.

  81. 81.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Jeffro:

    There’ll always be an asterisk for those with eyes to see, and balls to deflate

    But the non-asshole population will call Brady the GOAT.

    People who think there was actually a ball deflation conspiracy are dumber than Creation Museum board members.

  83. 83.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    When Portugal sends us their fashion models, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

  87. 87.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Cacti:

    I was going to say if you have an AOL address, your life is probably hard enough that you don’t need hate mail.

    Then again, you’re a fucking idiot.

  89. 89.

    ? Martin

    @dr. bloor:

    The politically-based rooting for one team or another in the NFL is bizarre. The NFL is an industry run by a handful of billionaires who spend their time trying to cover up the fact that their employees are at risk for life-threatening brain damage as a matter of course by carrying out their jobs. When they’re not doing that, they’re fleecing cities and states around the country for sweetheart real estate deals.

    This. All teams should be owned like Green Bay is. And the NFL and NCAA need to change the game. It’s not worth ruining so many lives for this.

  91. 91.

    Cacti

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Then again, you’re a fucking idiot.

    And you’re an asshole whose football team won. Congrats, but you’re still an asshole.

    And you have AOL address. My condolences.

  92. 92.

    Seth Owen

    I understand that everybody hates a winner. I’m old enough to remember when everybody hated the Cowboys for the same reason. And I’ve been a Patriots fan since forever, even when They sucked.

    So, fellow BJers. Go ahead and hate on the Patriots. I’m going to buy another hat, this time with FIVE Superbowls on it. Oh, and I think this game should end the GOAT argument, at least as far as Tim Brady goes. Belichick? I think that’s debatable. I think it’s hard to make the case absent Brady for Grumpy Bill being the best ever.

  94. 94.

    JPL

    Before Matt was sacked, the Falcons were close enough to kick a field goal, and that would have put the game out of reach. It didn’t happen and Brady and team took advantage of it. I hate the result, but it is what it is.

  98. 98.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Cacti: AOL still exists? I presumed it was a joke email address.

    @Seth Owen: Fine, you are a life time fan. You team is and has been pretty damned good. Now act like you’ve been in the end zone before.

  99. 99.

    Bruuuuce

    @Seth Owen: Will you find me a Yankees cap with 27 World Series Championships on it, or would you call it gloating? Just sayin’, thanks for keeping it classy.

  103. 103.

    dr. bloor

    @Ajabu:

    1. If the team receiving the ball first scores a TD on the possession, they win.
    2. If they score a FG, the other team gets a possession to match or beat it.
    3. If the team receiving the ball first doesn’t score on that possession, the first score of any type wins.

    It used to be any score won, but that gave the receiving team a slight–much smaller than you’d guess–chance of winning the game. The revised rules turn it into a more-or-less 50-50 proposition.

    Brady made it look like than a less-than-equitable solution because he basically performed surgery on an exhausted Falcon D. It seldom plays out like that.

  107. 107.

    J R in WV

    @Ajabu:

    If the first team to have an offensive possession (wins the coin toss) scores a touchdown, which is never a sure thing, they win. If they score a field goal (3 points on a kick) then the game continues until another score – if the second team scores a touchdown after the first team scores a field goal, the second team to score wins.

    After the first two possessions, it becomes “sudden death” and the next team to score anything wins. I agree that they should play a 5th 15 minute quarter and do away with “sudden death” but the TV networks don’t want to mess up their schedules. So the quicker OT goes, the better the networks like it.

    I thought the pass interference call at the end was bogus, but I’m not a Pats fan. First time in my life I rooted for the Atlanta team.

  111. 111.

    EBT

    @MoeLarryAndJesus: Dude, you seem really worked up about the performance of a group of people who would never in a million years have anything to do with you in regards to a children’s game. Find some meaning in your life? Also get a real email address gramps.

  112. 112.

    Ridnik Chrome

    No matter what people say, the worst ever Super Bowl choke (and maybe the worst in any American sport) is still the 2007 Patriots. Doesn’t matter how many championships they win, they’ll never live that one down.

  113. 113.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Cacti: And you’ve chosen Cacti as your username because you’re a prickly shithead. Who gives a fat flying fuck about email addresses? I have a dozen. What provider tickles your hipster prong?

  119. 119.

    Cacti

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    And you’ve chosen Cacti as your username because you’re a prickly shithead.

    No new guy. It’s because I used to live in Arizona.

    And you’re still an asshole with an AOL address.

  120. 120.

    Another Scott

    @dr. bloor: Thanks for the correction.

    Football still has too many weird rules, and with all the rules comes too many officiating errors.

    Do you know if they have any plans to do away with the “each team gets to pick and ‘condition’ its own footballs” stuff that they punished Brady for? Surely the refs should provide the balls and they should come out of some master supply that the NFL itself keeps.

    Imagine what baseball would be like if each pitcher could keep his own stash of baseballs… :-/

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  121. 121.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    @JPL: good point. he went back to pass on consecutive plays that resulted in net loses.

    Shanahan really fucked up.

  124. 124.

    Cacti

    @JPL:

    They were in fg range.. Matt should have never stepped back to pass. just sayin

    Ryan manned up and took the blame in the post game for that awful sack.

  130. 130.

    Cacti

    @SFAW:

    I think the Broncos win gave Peyton a tie with Eli.

    Same number of wins, no losses for Eli, and both wins over Peyton’s nemesis.

  131. 131.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    “There goes Tom Brady, the best who ever played the game.”

    Sounds so good, doesn’t it?

  141. 141.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    You know, when my team wins the NFL championship, I spend my time being happy about it – not picking fights on the internet. YMMV.

    I didn’t pick a fight, chuckles. I’m deliriously happy.

  143. 143.

    Arclite

    Wow, amazing comeback. Yeah, Brady and Belicheck are sleazeballs, but it takes a lot more than tricks to engineer basically the greatest comeback in superbowl history.

  145. 145.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @2liberal: No. Not at troll. Longtime commeter who is just being an asshole tonight. Many of us have done it on occasion.

    ::shame::

  146. 146.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @MoeLarryAndJesus: Personally I can’t stand the Yankees, and I certainly enjoyed watching them fall on their faces in 2004, but that team didn’t blow it after going undefeated in the regular season. That’s a special kind of choke.

    But you have my sympathy. I’m a Bears fan, and they almost had a perfect season, too.

  148. 148.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @SFAW:

    Don’t forget to tell us about “Crooked Hillary,” you know you want to, Donnie.

    I voted for her, you witless chancre.

  150. 150.

    Cacti

    From the comments at the Atlanta Journal and Constitution:

    This is Atlanta’s worst defeat since General Sherman marched through Georgia.

  152. 152.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    @MoeLarryAndJesus: Ryan did hold onto the ball to long.

    The longer you hold on to the ball the greater the likelihood of being sacked. There are three options: one – throw the ball to a safety valve; two – throw the ball away; three – run and extend the play until someone comes open. The one thing you can’t do is just stand there like the statue of liberty (especially when you have the lead).

    Now why he repeatedly did it: perhaps pressure of being in first super bowl; perhaps feeling need to match Brady; perhaps its not something they practice.

  153. 153.

    SFAW

    @Seth Owen:

    I’m old enough to remember when everybody hated the Cowboys for the same reason.

    Apparently you’re not, because the “hate” as you call it was because they insisted on calling themselves “America’s Team.”

    Belichick? I think that’s debatable. I think it’s hard to make the case absent Brady for Grumpy Bill being the best ever.

    Well, THAT “insight” certainly establishes your “cred” as a brilliant football mind/analyst.

  154. 154.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @Ridnik Chrome: Um, it’s impossible for a ML baseball team to go undefeated.

    The 2004 Yankees were up 3-0 and led in the 4th game with an inning to go and lost the series. Biggest choke ever. Best event in human history.

  158. 158.

    ? Martin

    And you have to say one other thing for the Patriots – they know how end a Super Bowl in dramatic fashion.

  162. 162.

    SFAW

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Are you a dickhead in your “professional” life, as opposed to only being one here? I mean, you seem pretty proficient at being one, it would be a shame if you deprived the “real” world of your essence.

    Oooh, “chancre,” oooh!! I haven’t seen that used in, like, 45 years. It’s kind of like you calling Hillary “crooked,” Donnie.

  163. 163.

    Cacti

    I’ll make this prediction for the Falcons.

    Ryan and co. never go back to the Super Bowl. Their psyches will be scarred forever.

  164. 164.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @JPL: Again, exactly. Two running plays and the Falcons almost certainly win.

    The coaches choked. The Patriots took advantage. It’s what they do,

  165. 165.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @SFAW: I never called Hillary crooked. Like I said, I voted for her.

    I really have no idea what you’re babbling about. So you like to drink urine, drink all you want. I make no judgments about you on that basis.

  166. 166.

    SFAW

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Brady made Belichek?

    No, but Moron #2 seems to think so.

    It would have been a lot harder for Belichick to have won five rings without Brady, but the Pats would still be contenders most years, even without Brady. Unless they had Ryan Leaf or JaMarcus, of course.

  167. 167.

    SFAW

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Yeah, OK Donnie, whatever you say. Listen, you better get some sleep before you start your “yuge” 3AM tweeting. Or do you need Bannon to tell you what to tweet?

  176. 176.

    SFAW

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Your breath smells like Bannon’s taint.

    I wouldn’t know, never having met him. You apparently know what it smells like, however. Does he make you put on a maid’s outfit?

    As I said already, Donnie, you need your nap before your psycho-tweeting in a few hours. Seems like you’re already cranky enough. But at least your “humor” is at the 3rd grade level, same as always.

  177. 177.

    NobodySpecial

    Color me shocked that a team known both for cheating and last minute opposing coach errant playcalling gets both to drive the NFL’s narrative and ratings. Shocked, I tell you.

  179. 179.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @SFAW:

    But at least your “humor” is at the 3rd grade level, same as always.

    Jeezus, why do you zombies always pick the 3rd grade? Is that when the bad man made you lick a pickle?

    Grow up, dipshit.

  181. 181.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @NobodySpecial: Cheating? Look, whatever your mom was doing with Mike Pence during the 4th quarter had nothing to do with the game’s outcome. Calm down.

  182. 182.

    MoeLarryAndJesus

    @SFAW: Which one of us is celebrating tonight, pantload? Spend the rest of the night playing scratch and sniff, as usual.

  184. 184.

    SFAW

    @MoeLarryAndJesus:

    Still projecting, I see, Donnie. Are you going to go on another national “victory tour,” so you can tell everyone how you led the Pats to a 30-point margin of victory?

    Oh, and see if you can find a 5th grader, maybe he can give you some more “advanced” material. If he doesn’t beat you up first, of course.

  192. 192.

    grandpa john

    @Ajabu: Real American football (recreational,High school , college } is also .reasonable and fair.
    Only pro football has the stupid, godawful sudden death rule that makes them look like fools because they refuse to change it to be like all the rest,.

  193. 193.

    fuckwit

    @Ridnik Chrome: I vaguely remember the NFL title for chokes at the last minute going to the Buffalo Bills back in the 1990s, but my football memories are somewhat hazy.

  194. 194.

    Cacti

    @fuckwit:

    I vaguely remember the NFL title for chokes at the last minute going to the Buffalo Bills back in the 1990s, but my football memories are somewhat hazy.

    Only the first Buffalo loss was really a choke.

    The next three losses were to obviously better teams.

  196. 196.

    grandpa john

    @dr. bloor: of course if they adopted the overtime rule that college and all other levels of football use, then the percentage of fairness would be 100%

  198. 198.

    grandpa john

    @? Martin: For real drama I will take my alma maters finish for the NCAA national championship. Winning touchdown wilth 1 sec left on the clock. How bout them Tigers

  199. 199.

    Steve in the ATL

    @grandpa john: that was a hell of a game, even though I was unsure whom to root for in a red state versus red state match up. One of the best games I’ve ever seen, excluding every game that I’ve seen Georgia win

Comments are closed.