Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

“woke” is the new caravan.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Consistently wrong since 2002

The revolution will be supervised.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

I really should read my own blog.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

People are complicated. Love is not.

I was promised a recession.

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91Comments

  5. 5.

    Smiling Mortician

    Yeah . . . but no. That ain’t the way it is.

    We actually need to count on at least a few R’s to distance themselves, as Al Franken suggested on Maher’s show.

  7. 7.

    Ruckus

    @Smiling Mortician:
    The only way they are going to distance themselves is to see that their normal course of action will cause them pain. Pain in election results. They have to see that far more of us know they are totally wrong and if they want to remain they have to fix this. Not saying they should be rewarded, just that they have to see the writing on the wall. In language plain enough that they can not twist it into anything but what the real message is. We want our country back and now. They can be part of it or they can sit on the side lines and watch it pass them by.

  11. 11.

    Yarrow

    @amk: You could replace Obama with George W. Bush and it would still be an improvement from the first panel. That’s terrifying.

  14. 14.

    RobertDSC-Mac Mini

    After these 3 weeks, it is good to see Obama again, even if only as an imaginary President.

  16. 16.

    aimai

    You know, after clicking around a bit today, I think I am subconsciously looking for the website, the blog, the click, that will unlock the key to the world in which President Obama is still president. Betty’s post just perfectly captures that feeling.

  17. 17.

    Amir Khalid

    On a sort-of-related topic, I’ve been looking at YouTube videos of people making jugs of southern sweet tea. A recipe typically calls for six teabags, and six CUPS of sugar. How is such a thing even drinkable? That’s not sweet tea, that’s tea-flavoured syrup.

  19. 19.

    Ruckus

    @aimai:
    There are a lot of us in that boat.
    What I said above though is what motivates me. As good as President Obama was, he was always going to leave office at noon on Jan 20. We were always going to have to get used to him, a once in a lifetime president, not being there. What I want is to see the country that this could be, that I’ve always hoped it would be, that it was supposed to be from the get go, that it came closest to being in my lifetime with him in charge.

  21. 21.

    fuckwit

    @aimai: Yes. This kind of pining away for a lost world is unncomfortable, and I think maybe dangerous.

    And yes, you could replace that last panel with Shrub, Clinton, Bush Senior, Reagan, Carter, Nixon, or Johnson, really any past President, and it would work.

  22. 22.

    Ruckus

    @Amir Khalid:
    You obviously don’t want to be a diabetic American if you think that’s too much sugar. I thought that you understood America, where way too much is just the right amount.

  23. 23.

    Mnemosyne

    @aimai:

    I’ve been wondering which asshole built a time machine, stepped on a butterfly, and sent us spinning off into the wrong timeline. I’m ready to switch back to the timeline where Hillary won in a landslide any day now …

  24. 24.

    hovercraft

    Did any of you catch the SNL, Jake Tapper, KAC skit? KAC’s honeymoon is over, no more long suffering aide trying to keep the Shitgibbon in check, they went Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, and it was spot on. Ha, it only took 6 months, but I guess better late than never.

  25. 25.

    Ruckus

    @Amir Khalid:
    Also I used to work in the food packaging industry and we had a customer who made a “fruit flavored” drink. He was honest about it, at least with us, he called it sugar water. It tasted like crap but kids liked it. Or maybe they were hooked on it, not sure which.

  26. 26.

    efgoldman

    @Amir Khalid:

    A recipe typically calls for six teabags, and six CUPS of sugar. How is such a thing even drinkable? That’s not sweet tea, that’s tea-flavoured syrup.

    My son in law, an otherwise realy wonderful guy (and a terrific dad) is from North Carolina, and drinks that piss. We stock up when they come to town.
    But if that’s the worst thing wrong with him, we’ll put up with it.

  29. 29.

    Mnemosyne

    Also, too, for people who would like to have a somewhat sweet bottled iced tea that’s not going to cause an instant blood sugar surge, look for Honest Tea. Their Honey Green Tea has 19 grams of sugar; Snapple’s Green Tea has 30 grams of sugar. A can of Coke has 39 grams of sugar.

  30. 30.

    hovercraft

    @aimai:
    Yes BC’s post is great, and no amount of wishful thinking will bring him back. If you are having a really bad day and need a reminder of all we had, play around at The Obama Diary, they’re good for a laugh, they post great tweets, and their archives are chockfull of great photos.

  33. 33.

    Ruckus

    @Mnemosyne:
    I learned a long time ago, from being stationed in Charleston SC for 2 yrs and from traveling in the south for work, to never, ever, under any circumstances, think of ordering anything liquid other than water without first saying “UNSWEETENED.”

  34. 34.

    Mnemosyne

    @Ruckus:

    I had to do that when I was visiting in Florida in 2015 and they all thought I was insane. Every waitress was like, “Wait, did you say you wanted UNsweetened tea? Really?”

  37. 37.

    Amir Khalid

    @Peale:
    I don’t touch teh tarik myself — I like my tea completely unsweetened — but a teh tarik guy typically starts by pouring an inch of sweetened condensed milk into the glass to cover a quarter of an inch of sugar. We Malaysians have an alarming sweet tooth.

  40. 40.

    Quinerly

    @Amir Khalid:
    I’m originally from NC. Moved to St. Louis for law school in 1982. First year I was in St. Louis, when out with friends I would always order “unsweetened ice tea” because that’s how I grew up…my parents hated the sweet crap even though natives. My St. Louis friends giggled behind my back. Finally, someone explained that St. Louis tea came unsweetened. I had thought all tea was sweet everywhere and you had to order it without sugar.

  41. 41.

    Joyce H

    My niece posted something on Facebook saying that Prime Minister Abe went BY HIMSELF to Arlington to place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns, because Trump couldn’t be bothered. Can that possibly be right?!

  43. 43.

    J R in WV

    @Calouste:

    My wife and I grew up where sweet tea is just that. (also, those tea bags are BIG teabags, quart sized tea bags, not little cuppa tea bags) But my Dad didn’t care for his tea that sweet, so Grandma would put some aside before she added the sugar, which was added to the tea while it was hot, that much sugar wouldn’t dissolve in cold fluids.

    My wife had never tasted iced tea without sugar, until she had dinner at my Grandma’s house, where she shared some of my Dad’s special mix. Now she drinks iced tea – no sugar – all the time. Strange. I like a tiny bit, like a quarter teaspoon of sugar in iced tea, with some lemon juice.

    Hot tea, I prefer Darjeeling, strong, no sugar, no milk. Not easy to come by at restaurants in America. Really, good hot tea is tough to get everywhere. Except at my house, or your house.

  44. 44.

    Yutsano

    @Joyce H: I do know the First Lady of Japan wandered DC all by her lonesome today because the Trophy Wife couldn’t be bothered to escort her around the city.

    Melania needs to either move or get a divorce.

  45. 45.

    Laura on Kauai

    @Joyce H: Yes, PM Abe did go to Arlington and place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Watching him bow and hold it for as long as he did made my eyes mist up.

  46. 46.

    J R in WV

    @Amir Khalid:

    Unusually good for Dowd, who is mostly a cheap shot hater of people with power, regardless of their accomplishments.

    But where she applauds Trump’s creation of national angst for helping Lena Dunham gain (lose) a “svelte new figure” – she steps way over the line. Lena Dunham has always been an attractive woman, at least since she completed puberty. And being stressed out by the thought of what catastrophe the President will unleash next is no way to lose weight.

    If Dowd thinks that was a complement to Dunham, she’s crazy. It isn’t a complement to Trump’s leadership either. I’m not sure what she was thinking (or not thinking) when seh wrote that, less sure what the editors who surely see those columns before they hit the press were thinking.

    But it shows Dowd’s mind for what it is – broken. Faulty. Error-prone. Failed? Unused. I stop now. Surely that valuable page space could be put to better use by, well almost anyone on B-J!

  47. 47.

    JordanRules

    Oh myyyyy… Piers getting owned by LA Dodgers pitcher Brandon McCarthy.

    Oh Piers you silly man, you’re a disgraced newspaper editor spending his Saturday searching himself online. Your life is the minor leagues.

    Nice West Coast tag in after JK Rowling did her thing.

  50. 50.

    J R in WV

    @Joyce H:

    No surprise… Trump knows nothing about war, history, honor, loyalty or patriotism. Abe has more loyalty to America than Trump does. This is why it it so believable that Trump is in Putin’s pocket.

    I doubt if Trump could explain the meaning of the Tomb of the Unknowns without cramming first, beyond the simple knowledge in the name itself. But the 24 hour honor guard, and that duty being a honor bestowed upon members of the military who excel.

    It isn’t a punishment drill to be out there in a thunderstorm late at night, which Trump undoubtedly had to deal with at his “military” reform school. It is a reward for service well done. Even in a storm, late at night. Only the best get the chance to participate in that duty.

    Trump isn’t qualified. Think about that.

  51. 51.

    Yutsano

    @Joyce H: As long as it shows utter disdain for her as a person I don’t care what you call her. She’s done nothing to earn any respect from me.

  52. 52.

    Peale

    @Laura on Kauai: he’s treating them like you would relatives who have come to town for a visit, but you didn’t bother to take off work or make special plans for, hoping they’ll get the hint and never come back.

  53. 53.

    J R in WV

    @Aleta:

    Thanks. They could do so much, and don’t even bother. What an embarrassing failure of a once great institution. I grew up in a newspaper family, and the Post and the Times were the apex, the pinnacle of journalism back then in the 1950s and ’60s. I have no explanation for their current total failure.

    At least the Washington Post is turning around, amazing for Bezos, I thought they were doomed. Well – doomed to be ever worse, but it looks like they are slowly turning into a real newspaper.

  54. 54.

    Dulcie

    @J R in WV: Maureen Dowd is a “mean girl”. She said that shit about Lena Dunham to hurt her – and this ain’t the first time she’s pulled this kind of crap. She should be ashamed of herself, except she lacks the ability to feel shame.

    M.D. is an angry, bitter harpy. Fuck her and fuck the NYT.

  55. 55.

    opiejeanne

    @Amir Khalid: I couldn’t finish it. I got as far as Lena Dunham’s weight loss as a result of despair and just quit. I think I actually hate Maureen Dowd.

  57. 57.

    fuckwit

    @J R in WV: I do. Money. Capitalism. Crap rules. The de-evolution, the race to the bottom, the regression to the mean. It happens to everything. Crap is king.

  58. 58.

    opiejeanne

    @Joyce H: I read that too. And no one bothered to show his wife around DC.

    I cringed when I heard that they took Mrs Abe to a Japanese cultural museum and garden in Florida but maybe others feel differently about this. The Abes should take the Trumps to an American cultural museum in Japan when they visit.

  60. 60.

    Anne Laurie

    @Amir Khalid:

    A recipe typically calls for six teabags, and six CUPS of sugar. How is such a thing even drinkable? That’s not sweet tea, that’s tea-flavoured syrup.

    If it helps, we American babies born between the late 1940s and the early 1970s were raised on jars of commercial baby foods that had been heavily sweetened (or salted) to appeal to the tastes of the adults buying the stuff. Our tastes buds were permanently corrupted (true fact!).

    Also, Southern sweet tea is produced by & for the lineal descendents of George Orwell’s peons and tenement-dwellers, who depended on cheap sugar and caffeine to fuel their malnourished bodies for another long days’ labor in the fields or factories. Most of “us” don’t need the calories any more (although somebody working two or three minimum-wage jobs sure needs the stimulus), but it’s hard to break such ingrained dietary habits!

    Somewhat related: Apparently there’s a pretty clear correlation between the increase in no-smoking zones and the number of coffee shops in a given business district. Nicotine is a stimulant (and a brain-stabilizer for those of us with ADD), and when people could no longer chain-smoke at the office, the free market quickly supplied a replacement chemical intake system.

  61. 61.

    sukabi

    @Joyce H: heh, I assumed it was Ivanka being referenced as she’s been placed in the position of being “acting first lady”.

    We went from CLASS with the Obamas’ to embarrassingly inept CRASS.

    You’d think they could at the very least get the ceremonial / social aspect of the presidency right.

  62. 62.

    ? Martin

    @J R in WV: I drink a lot of decaf iced tea. No sugar. A few gallons per week. It’s about 90% of what I drink. My wife found a Liptons decaf tea bag that is different from what is usually carried around here. We’ve only found it at one place, and I suspect it’s what they sell in Canada based on the full french labeling. It’s quite good, actually, and I usually don’t like Lipton. So when she finds it she usually buys all of it. Not unusual for her to come home with a few dozen boxes of the stuff.

  63. 63.

    Anne Laurie

    @Joyce H:

    My niece posted something on Facebook saying that Prime Minister Abe went BY HIMSELF to Arlington to place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns, because Trump couldn’t be bothered. Can that possibly be right?!

    The diplomatic explanation is that making the wreath-placing an ‘official’ event would’ve riled up the Chinese & Koreans who think Prime Minister Abe has been entirely too sympathetic to the “conservative” Japanese take on WWII. Which is roughly analogous to our own right-wingers’ defense of Confederate “heritage” symbolism. So the Prime Minister chose to ‘privately’ commemorate the American lives lost (some of them fighting Japanese soldiers) in WWII, to show his heart’s in the right place, but not to make an ‘official’ statement that maybe the whole Pearl Harbor thing wasn’t his country’s most shining moment. If you remember, when President Obama went to Hiroshima a year or two back, there were many reams of thinkpieces churned out (here & there, too) about how officially official it was for him to say that all those nuclear-bomb-related deaths were a terrible thing to contemplate (whatever the ethics of the military situation in 1945).

    Of course, it’s quite probable that none of the discussion around the Prime Minister’s wreath involved Donald Trump. Whether because it was ‘too personal’ for the American president to be seen endorsing… or maybe the people involved figured, if Trump ever found out about it, they’d just tell him it wasn’t worth wasting his beautiful mind to bother about it.

  65. 65.

    Anne Laurie

    @Yutsano:

    Melania needs to either move or get a divorce.

    I hate picking on Melania — she made a business deal, a dozen years or so ago, and I doubt that deal involved the old man running for office, much less “winning” by the grace of Vladimir Putin & the FBI.

    She really is, IMO, the aging king’s last wife in a medieval Game of Thrones scenario updated with private jets and cell phones. The family members using Daddy Donnie for their own grift are his three kids by Ivana and his ambitious son-in-law. All Melania really wants, as far as I can tell, is to be left alone in her home in the provinces, with her son and her (their) manorial perquisites. She can’t divorce the old man now, because then Barron (and her parents, who IIRC live in an apartment in Queens) would be at the mercy of his enemies without the sanction of legal protection.

    I’m not gonna start a GoFundMe campaign to buy her a pillow to cry into, but she’s not really the villain in this saga.

  67. 67.

    EBT

    @Anne Laurie: Outside of that, she still isn’t exactly a good person. She gambled and lost the same way someone marrying into a crime family for stature might.

  69. 69.

    Anne Laurie

    @EBT:

    She gambled and lost the same way someone marrying into a crime family for stature might.

    There’s a very old proverb: When you marry for money, you pay for it later.

    Not very different, IMO, from a football player or boxer who risks permanent brain damage (plus a pretty certain guarantee of a lifetime of chronic pain) in return for a (perceived) big payout while they’re young and strong. They have the right to make that choice, but I don’t feel like I have the right to sneer at them for making a choice I’d never consider. Not least because neither the NFL nor some rich old perv would ever have made me an offer, even when I was in my youthful prime!

  70. 70.

    Sab

    @EBT: Wasn’t she born into a crime family in Slovenia? She married into another crime family because in her world that is what you do.

  72. 72.

    TS

    @Laura on Kauai:

    Yes, PM Abe did go to Arlington and place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Watching him bow and hold it for as long as he did made my eyes mist up.

    Why is this not mentioned all over the media. The PM of Japan cares more about those who gave their lives for their country than does the President of the United States.

    As for leaving the partners of world leaders alone when they come to the US – the outcry if Michelle Obama had disappeared – yet the media still falls on their feet in front of the shitgibbon.

    Edit: And I seriously doubt that ANY world leader would come to the United States to spend 2 days playing golf with a new President. Might just be some business to discuss.

  73. 73.

    ThresherK

    @J R in WV: Spousal ThresherK is a tea snob, and we separate places into “tea bags” and “little wooden tea chest” (Earl Tray or Pekoe are her faves). If we are going to the former she will bring her own tea bag.

  74. 74.

    Betty Cracker

    @Anne Laurie: I would agree if she hadn’t done things like avidly promote her husband’s crackpot “birther” theory in public or imply GQ interviewer Julia Ioffe deserved the barrage of anti-Semitic tweets and death threats she received when Trump fans went apeshit over perceived criticism. But since she did do those things, I have the same level of sympathy for her that I have for Ivanka, et al: ZERO.

  76. 76.

    bystander

    @Anne Laurie:

    She can’t divorce the old man now, because then Barron (and her parents, who IIRC live in an apartment in Queens) would be at the mercy of his enemies without the sanction of legal protection.

    Makes you wonder if he still owns his parents’ place in Douglaston and Trumputin warehoused them there on the cheap. They evidently did not want to live in a Trump building.

    I still wonder if the Billy Bush interview did some violence to their prenup. Melly’s had a ‘tude on ever since. (BTW, anybody else notice that the only person actually harmed by Trumputin’s scatmouth was Bush?)

  77. 77.

    Betty Cracker

    @bystander: Yep. That smarmy little crap-weasel got fired, while his far worse companion in leering became president, demonstrating that NBC has more rigorous character requirements for its employees than the White House. Read somewhere that Breitbart might pick Bush up. Maybe they’re starting a celebrity Jew-spotting division or something.

  78. 78.

    Elizabelle

    Great cartoon. We’d be safer with Danny Trejo in office (does the Snickers commercials; Machete actor). He’s American-born, over 35; little issue of being an ex-convict, but we have a pre-convict now. Also, people are willing to work with Trejo again, and say nice things about him.

    I miss President Obama. Le sigh.

  82. 82.

    aimai

    @fuckwit: Uh…it was a bitter-sweet joke? Like Betty’s? I’ve seen plenty of maundering and whining by white liberal guys but the women have gotten off their assess and started to organize. If Obama had left and be followed by HRC I’d have no problem with that. They guy was great but I’m not sentimental. Under the circumstances, however: I’ll mourn what I want.

  83. 83.

    Sloane Ranger

    The British Express on Sunday newspaper had a front page piece saying that Dumpy didn’t want to talk to a bunch of politicians anyway so he’s not bothered that he won’t be addressing both Houses of Parlament during his State Visit.

    According to them he wants to talk directly to the British people and intends to hire a big venue, Wembley Stadium or similar, sell tickets and donate the take to the British Legion Poppy Appeal.

    I want to write to the Legion asking them not to endorse this or in anyway indicate their support for this blatant attempt to take advantage of our war dead and injured for his self aggrandisment.

    I seem to remember that Candidate Dump did some sort of fund raiser for US vets and there was some issue with the charities not getting the money.

    Can anyone help me with the details as I would like to include them in my letter?

    Thanks in anticipation.

  84. 84.

    Betty Cracker

    @Sloane Ranger: Trump made a big show of skipping a primary debate and held his own event the same night, saying he’d personally donate a million dollars to veterans. He didn’t make good on his promise until the media hounded him so much that it was untenable to continue the ruse. Details here.

    ETA: Couldn’t Trump’s rally in the UK backfire terribly? What if there are massive protests?

  86. 86.

    Sloane Ranger

    @Betty Cracker: @Burrowing owl:

    Thanks for the info.

    Yes there will be massive protests but I doubt the stadium will be boycotted in itself. Football!Major bands! Although I hope that people here don’t fall for his con and boycott the actual event if it goes ahead. Z

  87. 87.

    EBT

    @Anne Laurie: Except they weren’t exactly poor dirt farmers, her father was well enough connected to manage state owned car and motorcycle dealerships. Boring mid range mafioso who married in to the head.

    And that is kind of insulting to athletes who at least have the sense to take jobs that only have a fraction of 100% of an attrition rate. She came in seeing a 2 for 2 fuck over.

  88. 88.

    Debbie1

    @Yutsano: “Melania needs to either move or get a divorce.” Oh, but that would deprive the taxpayers of the privilege of paying for her digs in New York. We can’t have that, now can we?

  89. 89.

    Debbie1

    @Anne Laurie: If all she did was make a business deal, then she should not have gone on The View to talk trash about Pres. Obama, and where he was born, whether he was qualified to be president, because “many people were wondering” about where he came from. F! her. She’s no bystander, she’s a willing participant in his political Ponzi scheme.

  90. 90.

    Shell

    Im in the camp of strong, hot tea, no sugar or milk. Don’t like any added flavorings either, even traditional ones. For example, I can’t stand Earl Gray, Captain Picard be damned.

  91. 91.

    Kay Eye

    @J R in WV: I think of Ms Dowd as the most tragic of American Catholic women. A three-strike failure. She did not get married. She did not even have a child. And failing that, she did not enter a convent.
    Nothing left for her but to become a bitter high school slam book queen.

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