Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Facilitate” is an active verb, not a weasel word.

The lights are all blinking red.

People are weird.

We still have time to mess this up!

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

Everybody saw this coming.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Republicans do not trust women.

This really is a full service blog.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Every decision we make has lots of baggage with it, known or unknown.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / On a Personal Note

On a Personal Note

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While the web site and mobile site is rolling out new features, I thought I would note that one of the reasons i have not been blogging as much lately is that there is a new feature in my life, and a pretty good one.

I met a woman (on twitter, which I guess is the online equivalent of “I met a woman at a bar fight”), and we spent several months talking online, talking on the phone a little, talking on the phone a lot and watching shows, and we met for several days over Valentine’s Day weekend, and she, despite being smart, attractive, funny, and kind, decided she liked me anyway, and she came back down for a visit. She lives a ways away so we have several visits scheduled over the next month, and we’ll see where it goes from there.

And don’t bother asking for more details, because I don’t think it is appropriate for me to be as open about her as I am about myself. At any rate, it’s been a really nice couple of months for me personally despite the fact that the world is blowing up. She’s really pretty cool, and I like her a good bit, so I am hoping things continue to go well. I have learned, however, that I have a very dysfunctional co-dependency with Lily, and that Thurston and Rosie are assholes, as I suspected.

Oh, bonus- she doesn’t put up with my bullshit and is willing to call me on it, which I like and actually kind of turns me on. I like strong women. She’s also two year younger than me so we have can actually hold conversations.

*** Update ***

I should probably also state that after you have lived on your own for so long, it’s kind of eye-opening to discover how many things you thought about yourself are just not what others see in you. I always thought I was sort of an open book, but apparently I am very difficult to get to open up and give details. We were in the car on speaker phone talking to my sister, Devon, and she mentioned this to my sister and Devon state that it is a running joke between mom and Devon that everyone in my life is on a “need to know” basis. I also apparently have conversations in my head and don’t actually say things out loud sometimes, leading to “you may have thought that, but you never said it” situations.

Reader Interactions

274Comments

  3. 3.

    liberal

    At any rate, it’s been a really nice couple of months for me personally despite the fact that the world is blowing up.

    Just don’t have any kids, and you’ll be a lot less tense.

  9. 9.

    Mnemosyne

    The pets don’t have to like her immediately, but hopefully they’ll like her eventually. It took my late cat Natasha a few months to realize that having an extra human in the house meant she would get even more scritches and petting, but once she did, she fully adopted G as her personal cat servant.

  11. 11.

    ploeg

    Congratulations! You definitely don’t want the sort of person who puts up with your bullshit and doesn’t call you on it, and doesn’t call you on it, and then at the most inconvenient time doesn’t want to put up with your bullshit anymore. Strong women are great.

  18. 18.

    Yarrow

    Glad you found a nice person to spend time with. New house, new woman. Scared to think what might be next.

  33. 33.

    Pogonip

    If any man needs a wife, it’s Cole. There’ll be somebody around 24/7 to drive him to the emergency room.

  36. 36.

    mai naem mobile

    Does she know you like mopping nekkid? Also abour those dill does and p0rn that were discovered during your move?

  42. 42.

    sharl

    Niiiiice; congratulations! Thanks for sharing this very welcome good news. Best wishes for you guys!

  44. 44.

    Waldo

    I met a woman (on twitter, which I guess is the online equivalent of “I met a woman at a bar fight”)

    Hope it works out for you, but if nothing else, you at least got a good one-liner out of it.

  45. 45.

    hovercraft

    Good for you John, you deserve some happiness.

    If she’s read this blog and is still in to you, she may need psychological evaluation ;-)

  47. 47.

    danielx

    Well, maybe he’ll be less of an irascible bastard – O HAI Cole, good to hear it, and good for you!

    Wonder if she has any idea there’s an exceedingly nosy audience out here, just waiting to be judgmental?

  48. 48.

    different-church-lady

    I sincerely hope your next post reads, “Sorry folks, but my relationship is going so well that I no longer have any time at all to blog, good luck knuckleheads!”

  53. 53.

    The Lodger

    It took you this long to realize Thurston and Rosie were assholes? Anyway, congrats and best of luck.

  56. 56.

    different-church-lady

    @danielx:

    Wonder if she has any idea there’s an exceedingly nosy audience out here, just waiting to be judgmental?

    Cole, you haven’t told her about us yet, have you? I mean, she’s gonna have to find out eventually, but it’s best done in a quiet, focused moment while seated…

  57. 57.

    Alain the site fixer

    Good on you, John. If you have any issues or requests, you know how to get a hold of me! I’m having lunch then site work…

  58. 58.

    bemused

    John, for a southern boy, you sure resemble a whole lot of midwest guys of scandinavian descent in the “need to know” dept. They take “keeping their thoughts to themselves” with p0ker faces to a whole different level.

  60. 60.

    bobbo

    This is great. About time.
    Speaking of being called on bullshit by your S.O., everyone should definitely rent “Southside With You,” about BHO and Michelle’s first date.

  61. 61.

    pamelabrown53

    Fantastic, John. Nothing is more exhilarating than new love. I can’t think of a better way to not only endure but thrive in these trying times.

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    @danielx:

    just waiting to be judgmental?

    Already started, my good man! Why wait to judge another day when you can be judgmental right away?

  65. 65.

    MCA1

    1. That’s terrific. Obviously this entire readership wishes you and her the best.
    2. I think the Mars/Venus stereotype is that men share little and everything needs to be pried out of them. You’re hardly uniquely flawed in this regard. I’m terrible in that way, too, and it’s a constant source of frustration for my wife, mother, etc.
    3. This is compounded by living so much of adulthood on your own – you don’t have to share anything with anyone, so there’s a lot of habit to break.
    4. I hope you get married some day just to see the final tally on how many jars of mustard you and your beloved receive as wedding presents from people you’ve never met. I’d put the over/under at 200.

  67. 67.

    cbear

    it’s kind of eye-opening to discover how many things you thought about yourself are just not what others see in you.

    Lol. No shit, Sherlock.
    I can remember many years ago trying to tell you that, despite your protestations to the contrary, you weren’t John Merrick with a blog.
    As with so many things in life, it often only takes a good woman to dispel the bullshit perceptions we have of ourselves—both good and bad.
    Good work, Cole. Best of luck.

  70. 70.

    Mj_Oregon

    It’s always amazing to find a compatible someone to walk with you on that path called Life. I’m sitting here smiling like an idiot and feeling a bit verklempt to boot – good on you, John!.

  71. 71.

    greennotGreen

    I’m having kind of a shitty day, so happy news like this is especially welcome. However, John, you didn’t tell us whether Steve had given his okay to this relationship.

  73. 73.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    Glad to hear it.

    Just to point out a personal peeve, though:

    and she, despite being smart, attractive, funny, and kind, decided she liked me anyway,

    It’s a pretty common meme – “what did I do to deserve such a wonderful person to find me attractive?” and, of course a bit of self-denigration is good for a laugh. Well, for most people – for me, self-denigrating jokes fall flat. (See what I did there? What? You saw it, and it wasn’t worth mentioning? Sigh.)

    Where was I? Right!

    Like I said, it’s a peeve. It’s not, like, an *annoyance* like people who think we should “give Trump a chance”, where there’s some rational feeling involved.

    But it’s like – love isn’t earned or deserved, it happens. And it’s not like she’s got lousy taste, even if you don’t feel you understand *why* she finds you likable.

    Eh. And part of it is defensive on my part. I really am boring (no, you don’t get to argue, unless you understand CFS – and if you do, and try to say “I’m not boring” – rather than “you’re not boring ALL the time!” – you know you’re lying!) but I also know that people can love me quite happily, and I kinda have to believe that, because otherwise I’d *never* flirt or follow up.

  79. 79.

    LAO

    Congratulations John. I can’t help but feel this has ruined my master plan of abandoning my puppy near your home so that you could “rescue” her.

  86. 86.

    Nicole

    Finally, as I desperately go to all of my usual sites to look for some good news, I find some. This is wonderful to read. Thanks for sharing it. :)

  87. 87.

    rikyrah

    talking on the phone a lot and watching shows, and we met for several days over Valentine’s Day weekend, and she, despite being smart, attractive, funny, and kind, decided she liked me anyway,

    Awe…that’s so cute…..

    You’re a good egg, Cole.

  88. 88.

    hovercraft

    @different-church-lady:
    Since we may be losing our resident curmudgeon to true love we have need of someone to fill those great big clumsy shoes. @Baud: you will have to let us into your home and tell us about all of your mishaps though, and regular pet pictures, it’s part of the job description. And you will also need to tell us to go fuck ourselves at least every other day. Other than that. carry on.

  89. 89.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    I’m really happy for you, John. I’d written you off. So now just be a Steve, not a Stu and be excellent in her presence.

  92. 92.

    cbear

    I’m having a hard time figuring out whether to file Cole’s startling news in the I Blame Obama or This is Good News for John McCain category.

  93. 93.

    different-church-lady

    @LongHairedWeirdo: Corrosive, self-destructive inner narratives are something I’ve been puzzling over for quite a while.

    I was working on a half-documentary/half-reality-TV thing about a pair of dysfunctional, co-dependent brothers trying to keep their lives from imploding. And because I was the sound engineer I could hear every little utterance they made, even when the cameras weren’t on them. They were drunks and gambling addicts and broke and were driving an unregistered car and about to lose their apartment, and even when we weren’t rolling I could hear them muttering to themselves, “I’m a fuck-up. I can’t do anything right. I’m never getting out of this.”

    And I kept thinking to myself, “Woah… this sounds terribly… familiar…“. And I’m functional in all the ways they aren’t! It really gave me some insight into just how toxic that voice in my head can get.

  94. 94.

    Ajabu

    When I met my wife my initial thought was literally, “If this woman can string together a coherent sentence, I’m in love.” She not only did, but is smarter than I am, doesn’t put up with my bullshit, is more beautiful now than the day we met, has somehow tolerated my idiosyncrasies and we’re into year 26 of marriage. Good luck on your initial steps to the right one, Cole. Hope this is it!

  97. 97.

    different-church-lady

    @Baud: Now see, that’s the kind of judgement that’s going to make you a great Commander In Chief some day.

  99. 99.

    wmd

    Good for you both. I think the Lily codependency thing is not likely to end completely – Lily doesn’t have a good path out of it ad you aren’t an asshole to animals… but a new balance is possible.

    Enjoy.

  100. 100.

    ET

    The only things we may care about are –
    does she have pets,
    what pets does she have (and name),
    how does she handle your menagerie,
    does she know about all of us

  102. 102.

    Comrade Mary

    I actually clapped and squealed with joy! Here’s hoping things continue to go well, that she continues to call you on your shit, and that if she has any shit, you can call her on that, too.

  103. 103.

    Kelly

    Wonderful! When I remarried after 7 years on my own I discovered I’d gotten in the habit of talking to myself in incomprehensible sentence fragments. My beloved has considered them a window into my inner life. She decided I was alright because her cat which usually hid in the closet when company was around liked me.

  104. 104.

    Olivia

    Whoopppeeeee!!! I am so happy to read this. I am wishing you good luck and happiness and a great future.

  106. 106.

    RoonieRoo

    Yay!!!!! This makes me genuinely happy! I’m having a reasonably good day today and this just made it even better.

  108. 108.

    Corner Stone

    @Ajabu:

    When I met my wife my initial thought was literally, “If this woman can string together a coherent sentence, I’m in love.”

    So you’re saying she had a great rack?

  110. 110.

    Spanky

    Of course, if this relationship progresses to the point that she starts pushing John to cull the toxic relationships from his life, this could be the end of the line for us.

  117. 117.

    Spanky

    @Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ: Yeah, I do that.

    I’m convinced that the only reason I’m married is that my then-girlfriend’s cat totally fell in love with me. At that point I guess she thought I might be worth hanging on to.

    That was an awesome cat, and I miss her still.

  124. 124.

    tBone

    @wasabi gasp:

    One door closes on a big bag of dildos, another one opens…

    Congrats, John. Hope it all goes well. If she’s heard the naked mopping story and didn’t run away, you should be set.

  125. 125.

    jacy

    WTG, Cole! But did you tell her out loud, “I like you a good bit”? Because that’s secretly what every woman is dying to hear…..

  130. 130.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Valentine’s weekend, eh? (Presumably February 11-12).

    Let’s see. On the Saturday afternoon open thread, John wrote:

    Keeping things calm today: It doesn’t matter how big the bed is, I still get the same amount of space.

    A mere two days later, in a thread titled Day Six of the Plague, John wrote:

    Broke down, called the doctor, and there apparently so much of this going around that they just called in a prescription for antibiotics for me.

    If she still likes you after spending time with you sick and feverish and dripping and miserable, she’s probably the real deal.

  133. 133.

    Citizen_X

    Is there going to be a Brady Bunch-type opening where your pet families are brought together?

    And he got another rescue
    that he named Thurston,
    boy is he a dick…

  135. 135.

    Gelfling 545

    Hope the relationship brings you joy. As my daughter says about herself and her husband, it’s all about finding someone with compatible neuroses.

  138. 138.

    Kenneth Kohl

    John, best of luck to you and your friend. One of the great things about my wife, as we approach our 28th anniversary is this; she puts up with my shit without putting up with my shit. Believe me, it’s a nice arrangement.

  139. 139.

    jacy

    @Gelfling 545:

    After the breakup with suddenly crazy ex, my doctor asked me about my new fella — I said, “He’s great, he’s not an asshole.” My doctor said, “Everybody’s an asshole, you just have to find the asshole you can live with.” The secret of life!

  143. 143.

    Underpaid_Propagandist

    Don’t rent out “Miracle Mile” if you’re looking for a decent video-night date flick, JC.

  146. 146.

    Alain the site fixer

    @SiubhanDuinne: not anymore. My advice has become boring: treat others with respect, always make them laugh, be kind and never lash out. And lots of cuddle squee and lots of love – I love yous multiple times a day. Do all that reciprocally and you have heaven on Earth. oh and it helps if you can cook! ??

  148. 148.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Heh. That’s why I went back to JGC’s posts from that weekend, to see if there were any lurking clues of the kind that make sense only in retrospect.

  152. 152.

    aimai

    Wishing you and this lovely woman all the best! I met Mr. Aimai through the personal ads 25 years ago. I got 88 responses, answered/dated 12, dated four seriously and married Mr. Aimai 21 years ago. He is the love of my life and we have two beautiful daughters I never dreamed I’d have. I think these kinds of things can go very, very, well. I’ve always thought you were an amazing person, JC, and that there was someone out there who would want to be let in to share your rich, complex, inner life. I look forward to dancing, metaphorically, at your wedding in a few years. You deserve the best.

  154. 154.

    Monala

    Congrats, John! Keep focused on the good things in your life, it’ll keep you sane at this time.

  157. 157.

    Chris

    Jesus! John Cole’s found somebody? Dammit that means I got to get out there now…he was kind of my excuse. I figured he was doing alright by hisself with pets so I could continue with my solitary existence as well. Oh well..JC is out there…..Look out world!

  158. 158.

    geg6

    About fucking time.

    Seriously, though, really happy for you. Hope she doesn’t have a problem with snarling jackals.

  159. 159.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Baud: Oh Baud. It’s a question like that which will cost you the vote in 2020!! Tut tut.

    John’s relationship is such wonderful news. So happy for him and the Twitter Woman. Love is a wonderful thing even if you have to work at it.

  161. 161.

    hovercraft

    OT: Spicer: Anne Frank Center Should Praise Trump’s ‘Leadership’

    White House press secretary Sean Spicer responded to a harshly worded comment from the Anne Frank Center for Mutual Respect Tuesday by saying he wished the center had recognized the President’s “leadership” in combating anti-Semitism.

    The center responded to Trump’s denunciation of anti-Semitism Tuesday — after relative silence from his administration on the issue — by calling it “a pathetic asterisk of condescension after weeks in which he and his staff have committed grotesque acts and omissions reflecting Antisemitism, yet day after day have refused to apologize and correct the record.”

    Spicer said he had seen the statement.

    “I think he has been very forceful with his denunciation of people who seek to attack people because of their hate, because — excuse me, because of their religion, because of their gender, because of the color of their skin,” he said. “This is something that he is going to fight and make very, very clear that has no place in this administration.”

    “But I think it’s ironic that no matter how many times he talks about this that it’s never good enough,” Spicer continued. “Today I think was an unbelievably forceful comment by the President as far as his denunciation of the actions that are currently targeted towards Jewish community centers. But I think that he has been very clear previous to this that he wants to be someone that brings this country together and not divide people, especially in those areas.”

    “So I saw that statement. I wish that they had praised the President for his leadership in this area. And I think that hopefully as time continues to go by they recognize his commitment to civil rights, to voting rights, to equality for all Americans,” he said.

  164. 164.

    trollhattan

    O/T From the Shit you really don’t care about but will be hearing for days anyway file: that Milo putz has left Breitbart. Whether that improves/makes Breitbart worse is utterly unimportant, since pig shit and cow shit are still shit.

  169. 169.

    Citizen_X

    @hovercraft: Wow. Same message as when Trump ordered that one reporter to sit down: “Shut up, Jew. You don’t know how good you have it.”

    Which is what righties do when they tell gay people to shut up because of how much worse Iran is. Both are thinly veiled threats.

  174. 174.

    JCJ

    @MCA1:

    I hope you get married some day just to see the final tally on how many jars of mustard you and your beloved receive as wedding presents from people you’ve never met. I’d put the over/under at 200.

    This is a great suggestion. If this indeed comes to pass I will make a trip to the mustard museum in Middleton, WI to pick a wide variety to send!

    http://mustardmuseum.com/

  175. 175.

    japa21

    John,

    Congratulations on what can only be an immense improvement in your personal life. She sounds almost perfect for you. Probably the only thing that would be better is if she had a medical degree.

  179. 179.

    randy khan

    @hovercraft:

    I’m sure there are people who think Spicer is doing well, but going after the Anne Frank Center seems like it would appeal only to people who wish that the Nazis had finished the job properly.

  180. 180.

    HRA

    This is awesome, John. I recognize the stage you are at right now. It is quite surprising to read it 33 years later. I hope it all works out for the both of you as it has done for us.

  181. 181.

    randy khan

    So, I’ve gotten to the thread late enough that all the good jokes are taken, which I guess means that I have to limit myself to what I’m really thinking about this: That’s great, Mr. Cole!

  182. 182.

    hovercraft

    @japa21:
    Who knew that all Obama needed to do all those years was go out and state the obvious, denounce deplorable behavior, and he would have been lauded a great leader.
    @trollhattan:
    Obama got a Nobel Peace Medal for nothing, why can’t Twitler at the very least get praise from that Anne Frank thingy, he’s worthy, he likes Jews handling his money, and doing his litigation. No one loves the Jews more than he does.

  186. 186.

    Mnemosyne

    @Suffragete City elftx:

    True story: when I was sufficiently recovered from a persistent long-term depression to want to date again, I told my therapist at the time that my #1 requirement was that the guy be someone I could have good conversations with, and preferably someone who was sufficiently secure in his masculinity that he liked “Sense and Sensibility,” one of my all-time favorite movies.

    She was skeptical, but G met both criteria so, reader, I married him.

  187. 187.

    Chris

    Well shit, that is awesome news!! Best wishes going forward John. You are also a smart, funny, yes attractive, kind (albeit, majorly grumpy, clumsy) guy. You deserve a relationship with someone who appreciates you for you and will call out any bullshit. Cheers.

  189. 189.

    Feebog

    John, so happy for you. As someone about to celebrate 40 years of marriage, I can tell you sharing your life with someone is not always easy, but it is always fulfilling.

  191. 191.

    gammyjill

    Glad to hear you’ve found someone human to canoodle with, Cole. By the way, where’s the cat and how does HE do with the new lady?

  192. 192.

    hovercraft

    @randy khan:

    I’m sure there are people who think Spicer is doing well

    Trump supporters see a successful president — and are frustrated with critics who don’t Spicey and the rest of the gang are just awesome, it’s just that the media is exaggerating shit to make them all look bad because they hate Twitler. These are people who just loved the presser:

    “It was hilarious to see him give it to the media,” said Tony Lopez, 28, a car dealer who drove to the rally from Orlando. “The media’s problem is that they keep wanting to make up stories so that he looks bad. It doesn’t work. He’s talking right through you guys.”

    And they believe in fantasies:

    “If he hadn’t gotten into office, 70,000 miners would have been put out of work,” Patricia Nana, a 42-year-old naturalized citizen from Cameroon. “I saw the ceremony where he signed that bill, giving them their jobs back, and he had miners with their hard hats and everything — you could see how happy they were.”

    SAD !

  194. 194.

    Calouste

    @trollhattan: Has someone notified the immigration service that there is now some Brit on the loose who is possibly here illegally, considering he is no longer employed by the company that was sponsoring his visa? (I doubt he has a Green Card, considering he doesn’t seem to have been in the country that long).

  195. 195.

    different-church-lady

    @hovercraft:

    …he wished the center had recognized the President’s “leadership” in combating anti-Semitism.

    Well, they have a hard time recognizing it because it’s in disguise as an embrace of anti-Semites.

  196. 196.

    hovercraft

    @Baud:

    Does Bannon know?

    Yes, the statement was a bone, before the real message was sent out.

    Asked about a report from the Southern Poverty Law Center detailing a dramatic spike in anti-Muslim hate groups in America, White House press secretary Sean Spicer on Tuesday spent most of his answer talking about terrorism committed by Muslims.

    The Southern Poverty Law Center’s report, released last week, found a 197 percent increase in anti-Muslim hate groups, and pinned the rise in large part on the rhetoric employed by President Donald Trump during his campaign.

    “Is the message in this administration that anti-Semitism is not allowed, xenophobia is not allowed? Anti-Muslim sentiment, within the administration, has the President been forceful about that particular issue?” one reporter asked Spicer after referencing the report’s findings.

    “I think that the President, in terms of his desire to combat radical Islamic terrorism, he understands that people who want to express a peaceful position have every right in our Constitution,” he said. “But if you come here or want to express views that seek to do our country, or our people, harm, he is going fight it aggressively, whether it’s domestic acts that are going on here or attempts through people abroad to come into this country.”

    “So there is a big difference between preventing attacks and making sure that we keep this country safe, so there is no loss of life and allowing people to express themselves in accordance with our First Amendment. Those are two very, very different, different different things.”

  198. 198.

    Alain the site fixer

    @Chris: nothing wrong with some boiled pasta. Save some of the starchy water, put drained noodles in bowl/plate, add a bit of grated parmesan, some butter, some of the reserved water, and some pepper and it’s a meal fit for a prince or pauper. Gussy it up a bit with some diced ham and some cooked frozen peas and a bit of chopped garlic (garlic powder is ok. Note – if trying to impress someone new, be scant with garlic!). Food doesn’t have to be fancy to satisfy the soul.

  200. 200.

    Brachiator

    John Cole:

    Congratulations. Good luck. Hope all goes well.

    And I presume that the lady in your life loves your pets.

  204. 204.

    low-tech cyclist

    she doesn’t put up with my bullshit and is willing to call me on it

    This is definitely a plus in a woman. Beats hell out of a woman who gets all mopey and it’s on you to probe and find out whether it was something you said, or whether it had nothing to do with you.

    So good luck, John – hope romance continues to blossom between the two of you!

  207. 207.

    NotMax

    More power to ya.

    Long before the acronym existed, decided to do my best to live a WYSIWYG life. Pretentiousness, prevarication and masks are reserved for the fantasy world of the stage.

  208. 208.

    pamelabrown53

    @SiubhanDuinne: #177.
    Too hilarious. Roadsters are the best plus I nominate you you for the first female James Bond. It’s about time that Nancy Drew went global and big picture!

  209. 209.

    donatellonerd

    a lurker in Paris wants to thank you for good news, which is rare these days. hope all continues to go pretty well.

  211. 211.

    NotMax

    @Alain the site fixer

    Aglio e olio. Addition of some lager to the pot of water before boiling kicks it up a notch, also too. Thicken the pasta water sauce and simultaneously finish off cooking the pasta in a skillet, stirring in the cheese (optional) at the very last.

  212. 212.

    Mnemosyne

    @hovercraft:

    Even W’s merry band of idiots knew that demonizing American Muslims was a bad idea.

    That’s right — Trump’s hires are EVEN STUPIDER than W’s. Christ, what a world.

  213. 213.

    Keith P.

    I assume you both share similar political beliefs, given that she knows you from Twitter. Would be a damn shame to find a good match, and then you find her stash of MAGA hats or she finds your big bag of dildos that you “forgot” to throw away.

  214. 214.

    qwerty42

    … At any rate, it’s been a really nice couple of months for me personally despite the fact that the world is blowing up….
    Very happy for you John. Very happy. A bit of good news.

  218. 218.

    danielx

    @greennotGreen:

    An important point. A friend of mine told me that his felines, if they disapproved an overnight guest, would pee on his bed.

    Occupied or not. It ruined a couple of budding relationships.

  219. 219.

    Aleta

    @NotMax: An all time favorite here for years and years. (Understatement.) I never heard of adding lager to the water. Interesting.

  222. 222.

    Francis

    Mostly I lurk. But this was so sweet to read that I’m delurking to offer my congrats to the two of you.

  223. 223.

    Trinity

    Enjoy the ride John! Relationships (wherever they take you) are always eye opening. Gotta get older and wiser right?

    I wish you the very best.

  224. 224.

    laura

    This is what the universe does when one gets their shit together, evolves and become fully actualized, and then builds a beautiful nest.
    Enjoy yourself and this nascent relationship. Relationships are so good when there’s a balance of power and good sense of self, and who couldn’t benefit from the shelter of loving arms in these times we find ourselves in.
    Cole and a gal, sittin in a tree,
    K. I. SS. I. N. G!

  225. 225.

    Drunkenhausfrau

    Well, great! But, you know… we are going to need a photo, from behind or pixelated, showing her with Lily and Steve on her lap, Rosie and Thurston at her feet, proving that they have a new Queen. Like Danny and her dragons.

  229. 229.

    Mike E

    @Baud:

    Have you told her about us yet?

    About that…you won’t be seeing him so much, or mebbe ever.
    You can still be friends!

  230. 230.

    Gravenstone

    As I read “I met a woman” I broke into the biggest grin just now. Understand all too well just how fraught starting these things off can be, and nothing is ever guaranteed. But here’s hoping anyway.

  233. 233.

    Skepticat

    Nice to hear, and I hope it goes exceedingly well. Of course, you might mention to her that if she hurts you, we’ll track her down and make her very sorry.

  234. 234.

    Seanly

    @John Cole: :) It’s good to have someone to take a little aggro when your tanking isn’t going too well.

    “you may have thought that, but you never said it” situations

    My wife used to be more of a closed book and there were several situations like that early on for us. Going through two (2) cancer treatments and being parents to now 5 dogs (not at once) gets rid of a lot of that. While the dogs part is good, I can’t recommend the cancer BS.

    Good for you BTW, John. I know you said no details, but what’s her take on this blog?

  236. 236.

    Shana

    @Kelly: It took me a couple of years together before I realized that the song snippets my husband periodically sang were a clue to what he was thinking about. After a few more years together I mentioned that fact to him and he was kind of surprised.

  240. 240.

    zhena gogolia

    @Mnemosyne:

    My husband will watch “Sense and Sensibility” with me no matter how many times we’ve seen it, and enjoy it just as much as I do. He’s a treasure!

  242. 242.

    Dcrefugee

    Big congrats, John. I recently found someone, too, and constantly wonder what she sees in me…

  247. 247.

    Greenergood

    Super-dooper – huuuge approval – as long as the critters are in approval too! Or your future life will be fraught! So wonderful for you to find lurve and friendship in the same person – lucky you!!

  249. 249.

    Ruckus

    @Seanly:
    FUCK Fucking Cancer.
    A friend died Sunday after bypass surgery and his wife is in pretty bad shape and is fighting cancer and apparently not doing all that well. Would be nice if she could have just one piece of good news.

  252. 252.

    No One You Know

    Is it possible to co-sign the entire thread? ‘Cause I’m happy enough to just dance. This is great to hear! :-)

  255. 255.

    Seanly

    @Ruckus:

    That’s terrible for the wife – the added stress of losing a spouse on top of the shit storm of cancer. My condolences on the loss of your friend.

  257. 257.

    Ruckus

    @Seanly:
    He was the best storyteller I’ve ever known. I’ve heard the one about him working at the local zoo as a teenager at least a half dozen times and it is still one of the funnest things I’ve ever heard. I once walked into his office at 11:30 to get him to go to lunch, on deadline day (he was the publisher of a monthly glossy) and asked him if he had his publisher’s page done. He said no and he didn’t even have an idea. Three hours later he’d written it and it was one of his best.
    He was one of the good guys and his wife is pretty damn cool as well. It was an honor to know him.

  261. 261.

    frosty

    @Mnemosyne: Some years after we were married it became clear it was a good match when she also liked Terminator and I too liked Sense and Sensibility.

  264. 264.

    Juju

    Best wishes to you and your new friend. It does kind of make me wonder a bit more about how your bed was broken.

  265. 265.

    J R in WV

    Well. I’ve tried snark, and ordinary humor, and never posted anything, so…

    I’ve been married since spring of 1971, Wednesday after graduation up at Morgantown. She was awarded her degree, and I was awarded her. So 45 years ago.

    They haven’t all been perfect, it would be stupid to expect anything even slightly resembling perfection from life on Earth. But mostly better than not, so a big plus. Many dreams came true from working hard together. Travel, a little, the farm surrounded by neighbors, lots of friends, hobbies.

    So all in all, a success here in southern WV. I hope things work out as well for you and Twitter Woman. She has seen the ravening jackals, hasn’t she? Because otherwise that shock could be a deal breaker!

    This is pay-back for saving Walter, that’s what I think!

    Keep us posted. Pictures when you can.

    I keep having to delete snark, please forgive me if I haven’t weeded it all out!

  266. 266.

    Wrye

    Great news, John. Well Deserved.

    And – life has given you the football. Don’t waste time wondering why it came to you or if you deserve it – just run with the ball. RUN WITH THE BALL.

  267. 267.

    LongHairedWeirdo

    @different-church-lady: Nod. I also get self-denigrating humor and I don’t have anything against it. And I’ve made jokes akin to “she’s visiting the eye doctor for new glasses, so I guess we’ll see if it’s true love.”

    I recommend people recognizing negative self talk, and challenging it. It’s often false.

    The peeve, though, that’s a different thing. I think one horrible musical night, I was forced to hear too many whiny “how did this angel come from the sky and love a repulsive slug like me?” songs. As near as I can tell, that’s what turned the meme from “eh, not my thing” to the mental equivalent of fingernails on the chalkboard.

  268. 268.

    Rachel in Portland

    That is such good news! I always thought you were a great catch. From a fond lurker, who is old enough to be your babysitter.

  269. 269.

    CaseyL

    Yay, John! Wonderful news! Hope the relationship thrives and prospers and makes you both happy as clams.

  270. 270.

    Sourmash

    Well great news! Best of luck to you. Intimate relationships are a big part of what makes life worth living. It is impossible to add to the sum total of happiness in the world by being miserable yourself.

  272. 272.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    Lovely. May it ever be so.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRb1h989_jk&ab_channel=PacificBanjo

    (For those who don’t like to click on these things, it’s John Prine and Iris Dement singing “In Spite of Ourselves.”) Oh – and speaking of Iris, if you want to see a picture of me and family at the March for Teachers in Des Moines last week, serving as video for Iris’s new song, here we are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZDD-goxY90&feature=share&ab_channel=IowansforPublicEducation

  273. 273.

    Original Lee

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you, Cole. And pro tip, with the right person, you can still have all of those “in my mind, I told you this” conversations as long as you’re willing to admit that maybe you didn’t actually say it out loud. Also, answering yourself out loud for questions you’ve asked yourself in your head can also happen if you remember to call yourself a nickname while doing so.

  274. 274.

    Suezboo

    Had to eject from lurk mode to tell you how happy this makes me. Loneliness is a killer. It’s going to be hard to explain to Lily that sometimes you might need a human to cuddle. And, that reminds me, is that bed big enough for everybody? Problems. But, nevertheless, I’m really thrilled for you and hope you and Twitter Woman have a long and happy time together.

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