So the lady friend was rather upset that many of you were under the impression that the dogs do not like her, which is my fault because when I was calling Rosie and Thurston assholes, it seemed to imply they were assholes because they do not like her. That’s not the case- they’re just assholes because they are all up in her grill like they are with me and everyone else. Thurston is particularly relentless (and she loves him the best for some reason). At any rate, proof:
That’s the two top fillies in my herd getting along famously. At any rate, we (that’s a royal we, because other than drill the hole in the bottle I have done nothing) are making lamps out of bottles because apparently to the person in this house who isn’t used to living in a cave, the lighting situation here is horrible, in that I do not really own any lamps. She’s also enjoying a fabulous margarita because it is National Margarita day, and one of the perks of dating an alcoholic is they know how to make a mean drink.
Baud
Does she support Baud! 2020!?
Ohio Mom
Whatever your name is, Welcome. We are glad to meet you.
stinger
If she laughs at being called a filly in your herd, she’s a keeper!
ribber
longtime lurker myself, but when you made the announcement the other day, I swear my first thought was to tease with “She’s lives in Canada. We met in Niagara Falls. You wouldn’t know her. ” That’s hilarious
p.a.
poor bastard: meet a woman immediately after finishing a home renovation. what needs re-doing? if just lighting you’re getting off easy.
Baud
@Ohio Mom: I’m pretty sure Cole hasn’t told her about us yet, since they haven’t broken up.
ET
Glad there is a reasonable sense of harmony. And that maybe she can bring some more style into your life now that you have a cool house.
Oatler.
She might learn really fast that poor lighting is better than a well lit…cave.
p.a.
@Baud: we have to find out what her commenter name is so we can be nice and not eff it up for john.
Mike J
Niagara Falls? Slowly I turn…….
p.a.
i think the squirt bottle is for when cole misbehaves.
Gin & Tonic
I didn’t get to say this the other day, but I am very happy for you, Cole.
Iowa Old Lady
That is a brave woman
Alain the site fixer
@Baud: I KNEW I had done something wrong when I wrote that. I shan’t make the mistake again!
Corner Stone
This will not end well.
Honus
Nice to see you tidied the place up for her, Cole.
efgoldman
@stinger:
I dunno’. I’d expect her to slap him upside the head and walk out. Both mrs efg and my daughter would.
Nappy
Hilarious
debbie
That margarita looks fluorescent. Yikes!
Nappy
Hilarious
p.a.
http://exdfi.tumblr.com/post/157593034115
just don’t use this lamp in the house
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Well, Cole, I hope you enjoyed having a lady-friend…..
schrodingers_cat
Most important question, does she like the pink room? Or is it too girly for her?
ArchTeryx
Large bonus points for the Breakfast Club reference. Saw that movie when I was a teenager and I felt intensely for those kids even back then…part of what makes me a liberal today.
schrodingers_cat
@efgoldman: He asking for that bottle/lamp upside his head.
SiubhanDuinne
She looks smart and caring, and is very pretty. You done good, John.
Steve in the ATL
@efgoldman:
They sound nice. No sarcasm–my wife would probably set me on fire in my sleep.
Schlemazel
@Baud:
Who doesn’t?
Geeno
Well the senior females must get along or there will be no peace in the house. It’s good to see the alphas playing nice.
Also, Lily is so freaking adorable is crazy. I was always glad you two found each other, now i can be glad you three have found each other.
Simon Taverner
She’s gorgeous, you sly dog. No wonder you wanted to post a picture!
Live every moment, you magnificent bastard!
Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)
@Mike J:… step by step…
joel hanes
Niagara Falls
Slooowwwly I turned.
Step by step.
Inch by inch.
ETA: Ben Cisco beat my by that much
J R in WV
@Baud:
Yeah, if she know about https://www.ballon-juice.com John would be screwed.
Also, too, I hate overhead lighting, always have since I was a tiny boy. Unless it’s widespread. Now we have a ton of track-lights in the great room, mostly floods on art, but some down lamps on the counters. But for reading, I want a lamp right by me, lighting the reading material. So….. whatever.
Making new lamps is smart, financially acute, and creative, so all good!!
Schlemazel
I worked in TV for a very brief time. We needed to get some video of a dog ‘loving’ a person & the dog was not thrilled. I got the idea to run a McDonalds ‘beef’ patty on her neck & got some great tape of the dog just loving the heck out of the talent.
Jus sayin,
Come on JC, I’m yanking your chain here. I’m very happy for you.
bigfatdrunk
I’ve been reading this blog (mostly lurking) for a damn long time, and I don’t think I’ve seen a post that’s made me happier.
aimai
She looks lovely, JC. Does she know how many yentas and kibitzers you have lined up staring over the virtual garden fence at this romance?
jl
I can assure the poor persecuted and long suffering Mr. Cole that when he wrote that Thurston and Rosie (especially Rosie) were assholes, I read that as meaning that they were simply assholes.
OK, not quite true. I read it as meaning they were assholes specifically to Cole, since he always has at least one pet which is always very mean to him all the time and makes his life a living hell and constant nightmare. That is some kind of law of nature. It think I saw a TedTalk on the phenomenon, but don’t have the link right now.
Garbo
Happy to see you happy.
Yarrow
Lily is the bestest. Glad they get along.
SiubhanDuinne
I just looked closely at the right-hand side of the photo, and I very much fear those are John Cole’s feet.
If gorgeous mystery woman is willing to hang around after being exposed to those, she is a strong and brave person, and deserves all our love and support.
CB in Natick
If you’re going to talk about her in a post, I think you have to give her name. It doesn’t have to be her real name. You could refer to her as Niagara. Or, Ms. Falls. Or, Canada. You know, almost anything. It will make putting sentences together about her a whole lot easier.
Baud
I like the video of the protest in the background.
Tazj
Lily looks enamored, so cute. The lady is beautiful. I’m sure the animals are loving the extra attention.
In other news, my kids are on vacation and driving me crazy. My husband has the night shift at the hospital and is a total grump,not that I blame him.
amk
dood, don’t you think somethings are best kept private instead of feeding it to the ingrate jackals around here?
Mnemosyne
@Geeno:
“Two women in the house. And one of them a redhead.”
geg6
She is lovely, John. And creative, too. Plus I’m with her on the lighting. I hate, hate, hate overhead lighting.
Lovey is an asshole, too. And we love her all the more for it. So much personality!
jl
@amk:
” dood, don’t you think somethings are best kept private instead of feeding it to the ingrate jackals around here? ”
No one around here gives a shit about Cole’s feet. We try to avoid the subject, even though they show up in too many of his pics.
Diana
Ok if you do make your own lamps then let me recommend you spend your money on LED bulbs that change color because it is just so awesome to have control over the color of your light. I use phillips’ hue light bulbs but life does the same thing & got a great review in cnet.
Darkrose
Very happy for you and your lady.
Baud
@p.a.:
It’s NR.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@CB in Natick: “SHE”?
rikyrah
Awe…so sweet, Cole????
RoonieRoo
1) She is beautiful and I am still giggling with happiness over this development.
2) You deserve a withering stare for the filly comment because that is exactly what I would give Grumpy…..followed by a kiss for being cute.
p.a.
1) does she know about naked floormopping yet?
2) if she finds the mustard does john buy a ring?
Mnemosyne
@SiubhanDuinne:
If they’re already at the comfy slipper phase, it’s only a matter of time.
lollipopguild
Proof of life.
Baud
@SiubhanDuinne: If those are John’s legs, who’s taking the picture?
SiubhanDuinne
@Baud:
Footselfie.
jl
@Baud: We know Cole has a talent for taking impossibly weird pics.
middlelee
Overhead lighting. There is no rule that says because you have it it must be on. However, when you need/want to vacuum, overhead lighting is the best.
SiubhanDuinne
@Diana:
Pretty sure John just relies on his lava lamps from the ’70s.
Baud
@middlelee: Cole’s more of a mopper.
waysel
“It’s NR.” Hilarious, Baud.
Aleta
So … She likes animals, she’s creative, she has flair. She’s practical. Energetic likely. Brave, probably bold. Lamps out of bottles.
J R in WV
If you are laying back in a chair and using a wide angle camera lens, feet are almost a requirement, given the laws of optics.
Corner Stone
@CB in Natick:
“Ms. Falls” is Cole’s pen name, obviously.
p.a.
@Corner Stone:
I always thought it was ‘thud’
SFBayAreaGal
Fillies? If she stays around after that she’s a keeper. Yay to the both of you.
kindness
Cute! Your lady friend is nice too. Yes & never let her read this blog. She’ll hate us by our snark.
efgoldman
@middlelee:
Don’t some vacuum cleaners come with headlights?
Olivia
@Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant): …Inch by inch…
efgoldman
@kindness:
Who could hate this face?
quakerinabasement
Howdy from Colorado, ma’am.
J R in WV
@efgoldman:
I see you being snarky on other places, so watch it!!
Corner Stone
Where is Joy Reid on this MSNBC Trump panel? She better be in there somewhere.
Diana
@Diana: sorry meant to type lifx I think I got bit by the autocorrect. Comparison here: http://smarthomesolver.com/reviews/lifx-vs-hue-comparison
And, like other people here, I also hate overhead lighting. One of the advantages of an old house is you just use lamps, which is life as it should be — none of that hideous can lighting that is so ubiquitous in modern construction.
And if you’re painting walls various colors, the color of the light really matters. You can change the whole look of the room by changing the color of the bulb – bring out the color, tone it down, etc.
efgoldman
@J R in WV:
I am Balloon Juice. Thou shalt have no other blogs before me.
Aleta
Lets her hair down. Sensitive to the lighting, therefore to environment, shapes and shadows. Or maybe to theater. Lily mesmerized, adores her. Strong or tough, and full of beauty.
Olivia
She looks lovely, but can she make you a “Home Crap Home” needlework?
John Weiss
John,
Good on you! I’m sure that we all would like to hear from the lady.
No pressure.
jw
divF
Congratulations, Mr. Cole. Although “filly” would get me slapped upside the head by Madame, followed by decades of oblique snarky comments in the most embarrassing settings possible.
Next up: Adam Silverman?
J R in WV
Actually, she is quite nice looking, and the house is pretty neat for a just rebuilt and moved into house, really!!
And her help (or someone’s help!) with lamps will be critical to making the house livable!
efgoldman
@J R in WV:
What’s the catch? There has to be a catch.
Omnes Omnibus
Please tell us you ran this past her before posting.
khead
This is a just a great pic.
You are lucky she’s not cutting you or the dogs.
Corner Stone
It’s pretty obvious that Lily is passively protecting Cole from the cray. Steve is simply waiting.
Waiting.
guachi
What news network is that?
I can make out on the headline is “Angry Crowds Pack GOP Town Halls Across America” but I can’t make out what network it is.
zhena gogolia
My husband never reads the blog but he had to come over and see. “This is big news!”
opiejeanne
@Corner Stone: I’m missing Lawrence O’Donnell. He was on vacation for the past two weeks and I need more of him. Not interested in watching Tweety tonight.
opiejeanne
@Diana: In the kitchen small can lights are great if you have enough of them. I need to see what I’m doing and I’m not quite ready for the cataract operation yet, so bright lighting is a necessity.
Mnemosyne
In other relationship news, my brother in law’s new boyfriend is meeting the Illinois family tonight. I tried to reassure my BIL that as long as the guy is gainfully employed and not a convicted felon, it’ll be fine. His mother is just relieved that it looks like he may not die alone after all.
SiubhanDuinne
@Omnes Omnibus:
I keep thinking she’s someone we all might know reasonably well as a commenter — maybe a long-time lurker who recently came to life IYKWIMAITYD — who is laughing her ass off at all of us for our wonderment.
La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)
She’s lovely Cole. Reminds me of me 20 years ago. . .
Corner Stone
@SiubhanDuinne: Doubtful.
opiejeanne
@Omnes Omnibus: Good question.
I missed the announcement of this new event. I hope it lasts and is good for both of them, and for all of the beasts.
SiubhanDuinne
@opiejeanne:
I’m in the same place. I have growing cataracts but they are slow to ripen so it seems I’m not ready for the surgery quite yet.
I do a lot of writing, by hand, with ink pens, on actual pieces of paper. Direct overhead lighting is horrible — it casts the shadow of my hand on the paper so I can’t see what I’m writing.
Omnes Omnibus
@SiubhanDuinne: I know how I would behave in that situation. Certainly no photos without explicit permission.
zhena gogolia
@SiubhanDuinne:
I don’t think she’s a commenter here. He said he met her on Twitter.
Shana
@opiejeanne: I had cataract surgery on on both eyes about 3-4 years ago. It can seem intimidating, but it’s actually pretty easy and quick recovery.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Baud already did it with NR, but this just begs for snarky replies. I don’t want to insult the young lady I don’t know…. Oh, the restraint hurts.
Lyrebird
@Mnemosyne: YAY for MnemBIL!
YAY for happy good-natured Mom-In-Laws too!
and hey,
@Omnes Omnibus: Well with the law degree and all, I’d guess you are/were an officer, but here we see further evidence that you’re also a gentleman.
SiubhanDuinne
@Corner Stone:
But isn’t it pretty to think so?
SiubhanDuinne
@Omnes Omnibus:
I trust John to do the Right Thing.
Omnes Omnibus
@SiubhanDuinne: Yes, I will concur with that.
efgoldman
@Omnes Omnibus:
Not everyone is a lawyer.
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman: That’s not from being a lawyer. That’s from having had previous relationships with women.
Villago Delenda Est
Look, if she gets along with Thurston, she’s a keeper, John.
Villago Delenda Est
@Corner Stone: Steve knows the virtue of patience. Thurston has no such knowledge.
different-church-lady
Forget the house, I’m looking forward to her makeover of the blog.
Omnes Omnibus
@Villago Delenda Est: Thurston understands the importance of “Be here now.”
Omnes Omnibus
@different-church-lady: If we get threaded comments….
different-church-lady
@Villago Delenda Est:
The only feline superpower, really.
Corner Stone
@Omnes Omnibus:
Hence, there’s a reason he is not in that pic.
pat
Be sure to let us know how this turns out. A drinker and a non-drinker…….. Been there.
different-church-lady
Oh, is that what you’re calling it?
Steve in the ATL
@efgoldman:
No, but it feels like this place runs about 60% lawyers.
Which is about how I’ve been running this month. Sometimes even we big shot litigators phone it in.
Disclaimer: I am not a big shot, and not even a litigator anymore.
NB: yes, I know that no one cares. I just felt like typing.
Librarian
“It’s social. Demented and sad, but social.”
Omnes Omnibus
@Steve in the ATL: There are many days where I am about 27%.
Corner Stone
Fucking Charlie Sykes and Hugh Hewitt.
Son of a bitch.
Steeplejack (tablet)
@opiejeanne:
Catch up here: “On a Personal Note.”
mainmata
She seems to be a pretty normal person to me albeit with a really huge TV. But just a photo.
Omnes Omnibus
@pat:
Charming.
Yarrow
National Margarita Day is today. She’s visiting on a Wednesday when she lives elsewhere? Must be serious.
Corner Stone
@Yarrow:
That’s an actual thing? I thought Cole was just bullshitting from back when she was there previously.
SiubhanDuinne
@mainmata:
So that’s what the youngsters are calling it these days.
efgoldman
@Shana:
I had mine done in 2009. When I took my glasses off in the office to use the computer, my officemates couldn’t believe it. I wear glasses now only for driving or other distance reasons.
Yarrow
@Corner Stone: It’s a thing. I saw it mentioned somewhere today. Somewhere else other than this post, I mean.
The Lodger
@ArchTeryx: I caught a Bloom County reference, but I missed Breakfast Club. Fillies in the herd, indeed.
Steve in the ATL
@SiubhanDuinne: I normally don’t have much use for Gwinnett County people (thb, same goes for Forsyth, Cobb, and parts of Dekalb), but your wit has been en fuego lately. That and a couple of bottles of wine have helped me get through the dark evenings since the tragic events of last November.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steve in the ATL:
You mean per day, right?
middlelee
@efgoldman: After cataract surgery, every woman I know (many, I’m really old) said, “Omigod, I had no idea how filthy my house was.” I had cataract surgery and sometimes, looking at my house, I’m sorry I did.
Steve in the ATL
@Omnes Omnibus:
Of course! That wasn’t a serious question, was it? I feel like i don’t even sort of pretend kind of in a way know you on an anonymous almost top 10,000 internet chat board anymore.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steve in the ATL: I was just checking. Out of concern and shit.
bearcat
I have been lurking on this blog since before the Schiavo thing turned John into a reasonable human. I fucking love all of you, but John C especially, and let me be the first one to say…
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! \o/
scott alloway
@Mike J: Step by step…
Steve in the ATL
@Omnes Omnibus: much appreciated. You are known here for your sympathetic bent.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steve in the ATL: Thanks?
Ruckus
@zhena gogolia:
You’ve seen his twitter feed haven’t you? There’s no way she didn’t know this is his blog. No Way.
efgoldman
@Steve in the ATL:
His sympathetic bent what?
Seanly
LOL, I have dogs so I understood what you mean about them being assholes. Not that they are bad or don’t like her, but that your new lady has to conform to the pack.
Omnes Omnibus
@efgoldman: Bend this.
SiubhanDuinne
This is one of the best threads EVAH!
Gustopher
The puppy seems to like her, so, good enough!
wasabi gasp
She doesn’t look like a BJ meatupper.
Suffragete City elftx
Awwwww how loverly!
patrick II
@guachi:
msnbc
opiejeanne
@Shana: The doc says they aren’t “ripe” yet. And yeah, I’m a bit scared of the procedure.
opiejeanne
@Steeplejack (tablet): Thank you. This makes me even happier.
Gretchen
She’s very cute, and looks like a nice person. My worry is that a happy Cole won’t be good for as many epic rants. But that’s ok. Cole deserves to be happy. Welcome, Canadian girlfriend!
Gretchen
@SiubhanDuinne: Mine were the opposite – I went from being fine to being unable to see in a matter of weeks, it seemed. The surgery was pretty uneventful, although I was one of the two patients my doctor had in her entire life that she had to put out for the surgery, since I’m so weird about letting anyone near my eyes. I’ve been nearsighted my entire life, and now I sometimes forget my glasses because I don’t really need them, even for driving. It’s entirely unexpected but pretty nice. It’s unexpected to have a medical problem be fixed, and have your life be better than it was before you had the medical problem.
PaulW
John I just hope you’re not drinking.
low-tech cyclist
@The Lodger:
Yeah, Bloom County was the first thing that came to my mind too. So I’m sharing this strip from 12/31/1981, for everybody’s enjoyment.
And damn, John, she’s beautiful. Make sure to offer up some incense to whatever deity decided to smile in your direction!
The Moar You Know
@pat: You seem nice. I would suggest your problem is probably not alcohol as such.
John: good job.
My Truth Hurts
I’m impressed with how quickly you moved into your new house and turned it into a pigsty. Well done, Cole.