Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Come on, man.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Nothing worth doing is easy.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Not all heroes wear capes.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

T R E 4 5 O N

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

You are here: Home / TV & Movies / Movies / Maybe everything that dies some day comes back

Maybe everything that dies some day comes back

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Apropos of my desire for Phillip Seymour Hoffman to play Steve Bannon from beyond the grave, reader J writes:

Your blog post got me thinking – What if I could use CGI to cast a dead actor or actress for a role in a previously released film? Which dead actor or actress would I choose and which role would I select? If there’s a lull in the Trump feeding frenzy, would you consider a thread asking readers to offer up their suggestions?

His pick will be hard to top:

After some deliberation, this is what I dreamt up:

I’d create a new version of The Godfather Part II in which I’d cast Jimmy Stewart in the role of Senator Pat Geary.

Reader Interactions

79Comments

  1. 1.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    Holy shit – the Geary thing is brilliant.

    For a twist, I’ve talked about remaking Casablanca with Vince Vaughn and Sarah Silverman.

    Comic genius, it would be.

  2. 2.

    D58826

    There was a time, not so long ago, that we all had a good laugh at the names of the various leaders of N. Korea – Dear Leader, etc. Funny names for funny fools.

    Now the world looks at the US and sees the same funny name for a not so funny fool of a leader.

  3. 3.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    PS – it is nearly 80 on my back porch. Drinking bourbon nekkid with the dog, looking at the woods. Temps are going to drop 40 degrees in the next 4 hours.

  7. 7.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    Interesting fact, along the lines of the original post – my former assistant had been Philip Seymour Hoffman’s personal assistant. Nice girl, but kind of clueless.

  9. 9.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Central Planning:

    A bit of ice. It is Michter’s – one drinks it neat or with the tiniest bit of flavonoid releasing water, and I like it just slightly cooled.

    I love my premium bourbons.

  14. 14.

    bystander

    In the interests of bad casting, I always wanted to see Bette Midler in a Jeanette MacDonald biopic. But I can’t figure out Nelson Eddy.

  16. 16.

    Villago Delenda Est

    How about Tom Hanks as Senator Pat Geary? Seeing as Hanks is the contemporary equivalent of “everyman” Jimmy Stewart?

  17. 17.

    Gretchen

    I live in Kansas City, where an idiot shot two Indian guys since he thought they were Middle Eastern, because brown. My daughter is planning to come home for my birthday and bring her boyfriend, who was born on Staten Island. American, right? No, his parents are from India, and he’s brown. He thought he ought to meet her family before asking her to marry him. Now, he’s not sure he wants to come to KC and be seen out and about with a white girl. I’m afraid I thought the same thing when I heard about this. I’m sick and ashamed that this is the start of this new phase of my family.

  21. 21.

    efgoldman

    @kindness:

    Messing with Casa Blanca is sacrilege!

    Hmm. Imagine if you CGI’d the original choice for Rick, Guy named Reagan :::retch:::

    @bystander:

    But I can’t figure out Nelson Eddy

    Young Wayne Newton? Re-animated Pat Boone?

  22. 22.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Central Planning:

    I’m a reposado fan when it comes to tequila – something about the wood aging barrels over the long haul for anejo disagrees with me (I know – give me a nice whiskey or rum aged in oak and I’m a hog in slop, go figure).

  24. 24.

    trollhattan

    @Gretchen:
    Suppose you can be heartened a wee bit by the dude who jumped the gunman (undone by a too-big clip…er…magazine). He was having none of that shit.

  26. 26.

    pacem appellant

    Dead actor: Christopher Reeves
    Role in previously released films: Superman/Clark Kent in Man of Steel (2013) and Batman v Superman (2016)

  29. 29.

    Robert Sneddon

    I’d like to see the Marx Brothers in Casablanca, giving the Nazis wedgies and generally fooling around while Bogie and Bacall do the stage front stuff.

  30. 30.

    ThresherK

    @bystander: As was said when Jeanette MacDonald appeared on radio with Charlie McCarthy, “It’s okay, she knows how to play against a block of wood.”

    The late Edward Herrmann as Steve Bannon. Maybe they can do one of those things like that pic about Dylan and have multiples.

  34. 34.

    bystander

    @efgoldman:

    Young Wayne Newton? Re-animated Pat Boone?

    Both would certainly qualify as bad casting.

    Jake Gyllenhal seems to be a hit in Sunday in the Park, not the most likely Seurat.

  36. 36.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Bannon looks like he’d stink of old body odor, Doritos and crap beer, halitosis, and an unscrupulously-wiped backside.

    And that’s on a good day.

  39. 39.

    Tokyokie

    Tom Laughlin, when he made his awful remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, offered the part of the corrupt senator to Jimmy Stewart, who turned it down flat. E.G. Marshall wound up playing the part instead. But what’s the matter with G.D. Spradlin as Pat Geary? He was a one-time lawyer for Phillips, made a fortune as an independent oilman, and dabbled in briefly in Oklahoma/Democratic politics before deciding to hell with it and going into acting. So he brought an insight from his life experiences into the character that a more classically trained would likely lack. Spradlin was a hell of an actor. Just recall how he lingers over the final word in Apocalypse Now, when he says “[Kurtz’s] methods have become unsound.”

  42. 42.

    Feebog

    Word is that Bannon changed from a suit and tie into his right wing cos-play double dress shirt costume.

  43. 43.

    germy

    Who could play Trump in the movie? I’m thinking Jon Voight, but he’d probably refuse if the screenplay wasn’t respectful enough…

  46. 46.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    Re-animated Pat Boone?

    H: “My father is rolling over in his grave!”
    P: “Your father is not dead!”
    H: “This will kill him!”

  48. 48.

    SFAW

    I’d like to see the ghost of PSH play Il Commendatore to Bannonazi’s Don Giovanni. But have it be real, not staged.

    ETA: And have Margaret Hamilton do a cameo: “And your little dog, Priebus, as well!”

  49. 49.

    germy

    Maggie HabermanVerified account‏@maggieNYT 3h3 hours ago

    And now, the topic of the evening is the media outlets excluded, not the Priebus interactions w FBI + question of open investigation.

  53. 53.

    scav

    @germy: Well, if the dead are being cast, why not characters from other movies? Jabba Desilijic Tiure in a blond hairpiece would be quite the sight and capture an essential characteristic. And I’m sure one of his cousins could do the shirtless Putin with aplomb.

  55. 55.

    TenguPhule

    1984 in all its sick glory

    “They do violence to the constitution’s separation of powers, they do violence to the US code and the supreme court precedent, and they do violence to the checks and balances that keep government under control,” – Wayne LaPierre talking about “leftwing” federal judges

    I want to live long enough to see Wayne LaPierre’s head mounted on a spike. And then I’m going to wave at it, just like this. *wave*

  56. 56.

    SFAW

    @efgoldman:

    Bannonazi has a dog named Priebus?

    Yeah, his lap dog.

    Or is it that I’ve completely misjudged things, and Reinhard is the one running the show?

    And, by the way: I am ceaselessly amazed at your ability to come up with new color-based epithets for Shitgibbon. I doff my figurative cap to you.

  57. 57.

    SFAW

    @TenguPhule:

    I want to live long enough to see Wayne LaPierre’s head mounted on a spike. And then I’m going to wave at it, just like this. *wave*

    You do babble-on sometimes

    ETA: Is your comment what they call Mordant humor?

  58. 58.

    Roger Moore

    @Robert Sneddon:

    I’d like to see the Marx Brothers in Casablanca, giving the Nazis wedgies and generally fooling around while Bogie and Bacall do the stage front stuff.

    I would love to see a young Jim Carey in a Marx Brothers movie.

  61. 61.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @TenguPhule:

    Too anticlimactic. It’s more fun to think of him sobbing for mercy before a revolutionary tribunal as he is forced to answer questions as each major joint is shot, one at a time. Ankle, ankle, knee, knee, hip, hip…

  62. 62.

    ThresherK

    @debbie: I don’t know if that’s a given.

    She’s really a Mae West type, and Busby Berkeley didn’t really need “stars” like that. The Dick Powell and Ruby Keeler sorts weren’t singular talents, but great at being the archetypes that have lived on since Berkelel had a hand in popularizing the second wave of movie musicals.

    “You’re going out there an understudy, but you’ve got to come back a star!”

    Jeanette MacDonald at Paramount in the early ’30s was the most beguiling thing on two legs. I can see Midler tapping into that.

  64. 64.

    Turgidson

    @germy:

    Gee, she makes a good point. If only Maggie Haberman was in some sort of position to influence what was being covered. Such a pity that she’s just a journalist at the New York Times. What a pity.

  66. 66.

    HeidiMom

    To a Game of Thrones fan, the title of this thread sounds like a profession of faith by a not-very-bright Iron Islander. (Not that any of the Iron Islanders seem very bright, except for Yara.)

  68. 68.

    Downpuppy

    Connie Willis wrote Remake in 1995 with this plot. Pretty good book.

    Anyhow, you’d hope that if they were using dead actors, they’d at least come up with new movies, not Cannery Row with Henry Fonda & Marilyn Monroe.

  70. 70.

    efgoldman

    @SFAW:

    I am ceaselessly amazed at your ability to come up with new color-based epithets for Shitgibbon

    I have the “300 synonyms for orange” thesaurus page bookmarked.

  71. 71.

    Geeno

    Much lower brow than most of you, but even when Spawn came out, I believed that Sam Kinnison should have been Clown.

  73. 73.

    ThresherK

    @John Revolta: As much as I love him in The Wizard of Oz, a little bit of Bert Lahr, in a leading role, doing his own schtick instead of being ridden hard by a strong director, goes a looooong way.

    Just like Trump.

  76. 76.

    SFAW

    @TenguPhule:

    Hey, if he wants to live for the one, he can die for the one.

    See, I’m thinking we can get Patrick McCormack to play Shitgibbon, so that Peter Jurasik can comment on Shitgibbon’s arrogance and stupidity all in the same package. (Which would come right after Shitgibbon says “I handled the Hil-gar.”)

    ETA: Of course, Shitgibbon’s hair will look just like Londo’s, given a breeze from the right direction.

  77. 77.

    smintheus

    I’d cast Robert Ryan in his smoking racist @ssh+le guise as the Wizard in The Wizard of Oz. Because Frank Morgan slapped a way too jolly facade on that deceitful con-man. “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” would have a lot more bite these days if the man had been Robert Ryan.

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