Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Everybody saw this coming.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Late Evening/Early Morning Open Thread: I Say We Give Him a Shot

Late Evening/Early Morning Open Thread: I Say We Give Him a Shot

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Perhaps our Colorado based commenters and front pagers could indicate if they know this fine fellow:

What could possibly go wrong?

Reader Interactions

94Comments

  1. 1.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    Certainly nothing could go wrong. He might not know enough Russians though.

  11. 11.

    Anne Laurie

    @Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA:

    I, like many, many, many others claiming Irish ancestry, have been told I’m a direct descendant of the last Irish High King.

    … And whenever that claim was mooted, my old man would say, “Poor bastid died young — of pure exhaustion.”

  12. 12.

    robert thompson

    @Adam L Silverman: Ooops , you are correct . But I prefer to be labeled a Jacobin. I am a lowlander Scot with no claim, despite my crazy relatives who swear we have tartan, and sympathize with the revolutionaries rather than royalty.

  15. 15.

    efgoldman

    We are all Spartacus!

    Except Adam and I; we are direct descendants of Moses and Abraham. Apparently they colonized Russia, [Russian] Georgia, Ukraine, Belorussia, and Poland. And turned library paste white in the process.

  16. 16.

    Villago Delenda Est

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Well, for one thing, is he descended from Sopia of Hannover, as required in the Settlement of 1701 as amended in 2015?

    This kinda tosses the whole thing in the loo, if you will.

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    On another note, because of my surname (prominent Scots clan), I am supposedly descended from Edward III.

  21. 21.

    efgoldman

    @Lizzy L:

    And I am Marie of Romania.

    Marie, sweetie! I knew you looked familiar!! Didn’t we have a couple of dances at the Bucharest Debutantes Ball? And you couldn’t ditch that damned chaperone. Pity.

  22. 22.

    robert thompson

    @Omnes Omnibus: With Danton’s passing the soul of the French Revolution died. Then came the appropriation and the sans culottes went back to being unwashed and ignorant. Deplorables if you will.

  23. 23.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: Actually someone went east on the Silk Road before they went north into Russia. Which is why whenever I’m in Chinatown in NY I get asked where my family is from. Also, my Dad, on who’s side the above apparently happened, was quite dark skinned. In Hawaii they though he was Polynesian. In New Mexico they thought he was Dine/Navajo. In Israel they thought he was Mizrahi (Arab). If he’d had any gift for language he’d have made a great spy – you could have dropped him in a number of countries and he’d have looked like the indigenous population.

  28. 28.

    efgoldman

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I am supposedly descended from Edward III.

    Somewhere, some centuries-ago ancestor of mrs efg on her maternal grandmother’s side had a castle in Wales and a royal deed of some kind granting him (it would have had to have been a him) all of Massachusetts, Maine and Vermont, extending all the way West to the sea (the Pacific) which hadn’t been discovered by Europeans yet.

  29. 29.

    Mike J

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I am supposedly descended from Edward III.

    In doing my genealogy, I found a hint or two that I’m descended from Richard III. I don’t really have solid proof yet, but I do have a strong hunch.

  34. 34.

    FlyingToaster

    @efgoldman: And Spain and Portugal; my ancestors were kicked out by their most Catholic majesties, Ferdinand and Isabella.

  37. 37.

    Yarrow

    Why did he take out an ad? A surprise attack on Buckingham Palace would have been the way to go.

  39. 39.

    Mickee

    He seems nice.

    Not sure what is wrong with my family, but unlike so many of you who were told fantastical stories about supposed royal lineage, my mom was alway quite frank about her Scottish ancestry: ‘Don’t bother looking up your heritage. We come from a long line of traitors and horse thiefs. Those who escaped hanging ended up in America.End of story.’ Really tugs at the heartstrings.

  41. 41.

    TS

    @Mickee: The royal side of my ancestry comes from the illegitimate daughter of a Scottish Duke. My husband descends from a marriage between a descendant of an Irish aristocrat and a descendant of an English convict. We have it all.

  43. 43.

    Mnemosyne

    @robert thompson:

    Jacobites would be trying to put a Stuart on the throne, not a Welshman. As Adam recalled for me, the current Stuart heir seems to be a guy in Poland who has pretty convincing evidence that he’s descended from one of the illegitimate children of Bonnie Prince Charlie’s only child, who was herself illegitimate.

  45. 45.

    Mnemosyne

    Also, as far as I know, I’m descended from a long line of German and Italian Catholic sheep herders, possibly with some farmers and small merchants thrown in.

  46. 46.

    patroclus

    I descend from the Stuarts – who used to be the monarchs of the U.K. They got thrown out and aren’t descended from Sophia, the Elector of Hanover, though, so I’m currently precluded from taking power, but all it would take would be an Act of Parliament re-instating my line. Of course, I have an elder sister and two elder brothers, and they have kids and my mother had an elder brother and he had kids and his kids had kids and there are a lot of cousins on both sides of the Atlantic, who had kids, but I figure once Parliament acts, I can lock them all up in the Tower of London and take over like Richard did to the Princes in the Tower.

    And on my mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s side, I descend from Swedish royalty, but they similarly got thrown out…

  47. 47.

    efgoldman

    @Mnemosyne:

    I’m descended from a long line of German and Italian Catholic sheep herders

    Catholic sheep should be giving up something for Lent, but it’s too late at night for me to think of something.

  48. 48.

    DC

    Dear Allan,

    When you play the game of thrones, you either win or you die.

    Best,
    George

  52. 52.

    Mnemosyne

    @patroclus:

    You’ll have to throw Peter Pininski in there first.

    There is already a family that is recognized as the legal, legitimately descended Stuart heirs, but Pininski is the direct descendant of Bonnie Prince Charlie, which gives him a certain cachet.

  53. 53.

    patroclus

    @Mnemosyne: “Recognized” is a fluid term. I’ve been reading Dan Jones’ “The Wars of the Roses” and “The Plantagenets” recently. I’ve also seen “King Ralph.”

  55. 55.

    PeakVT

    Can I throw my hat into the ring for sovereign/dictator/ruler by dint of sheer awesomeness? I promise not to serve more than eight years and impose only the best liberal policies in the least illiberal manner possible.

  56. 56.

    mdblanche

    The last time a Welshman tried pulling this stunt on Elizabeth’s ancestor Edward I, I don’t think it ended well for him.
    @Mnemosyne: The legitimate heir recognized by most Jacobites is Franz of Bavaria. These days even the King over the Water is a German!

  57. 57.

    M. Bouffant

    Kingdom of Wales then known as The Kingdom of Gondor

    So l thought, well, did Tolkien use an old/ancient name for Wales in his big book? And investigated. Nope. May have come from “Gondar”, in Ethiopia, however.

  58. 58.

    Steeplejack (tablet)

    @efgoldman:

    So you completely missed “I don’t really have solid proof yet, but I do have a strong hunch”?

    Sheesh.

  59. 59.

    efgoldman

    @Steeplejack (tablet):

    So you completely missed “I don’t really have solid proof yet, but I do have a strong hunch”?

    I was up early Wednesday morning, and if I weren’t so stupid I’d be long in bed.
    Yeah, I caught it, after the edit time closed.

  62. 62.

    patroclus

    @mdblanche: Yet another poseur. A majority of we Stuarts may “recognize” Cousin Franz as of now but that could change once Parliament acts. (Now, you guys can see why Parliament has been hesitant to re-instate our line – we Stuart descendants are far from unified on the subject).

  64. 64.

    Mart

    I am a descendant of the Mayflower – parents died in the first winter, but the son survived. I am a direct descendant of an Scot/Englishman who immigrated to the colonies in 1633. You Balloon Juice bitches can all hail to me. I am an ancient English Empire Expat White Protestant – I got privileges dammit.

  65. 65.

    mdblanche

    @patroclus: Wait, you’re just going to let Parliament have a say? You Stuarts sure have gone soft in your centuries of exile.

  66. 66.

    ruemara

    @Omnes Omnibus: If it were Aragorn, I’d swear fealty right now. We need that type of man in office. However, pretty sure it’s a lesser denethor Ecthelion

  67. 67.

    M. Bouffant

    @Mart: Me too on the Mayflower; Gov. Bradford, I think. And descended from Roger le Bigod, one of the Magna Carta signatories.

    Alas, it hasn’t translated to much privilege.

  68. 68.

    Mnemosyne

    @M. Bouffant:

    We may be distantly related, then, since apparently I am also descended from William Bradford on my mother’s side. (The Italian sheepherders are on my father’s side of the family.)

  69. 69.

    Peale

    I guess he’s got a claim. But he’s got no army. And he probably hasn’t earned one.

  70. 70.

    joel hanes

    @Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA:

    Your ancestor died about 1200 CE.
    Figure three generations per century (conservative)
    Eight centuries.
    Twenty-four generations.
    2 ** 24 =~ 16 million ancestors in the generation containing old Ruiadri, assuming no backcross
    There were, of course, _extensive_backcrosses.
    Still, the population of the British Isles in 1200 was ?? maybe 2 million
    In 1600, estimated at 4.8 million.

    So the real answer is: everyone alive in Great Britain in the year 1200 who has any living descendants, is likely your ancestor.
    Probably half of Europeans living in 1200 who have living descendants are your ancestors.

    Run this kind of analysis back to 0 CE, and you find that the proverb is statistically correct : all men are your kin.

  71. 71.

    Laura on Kauai

    Me three on the Mayflower – John Alden and Priscilla Mullins, and one other line. Not a whole lot of privilege here either.

    ETA: Hillary will be speaking at Wellesley tomorrow – only students invited. Tickets sold out in less than a minute, but Middle Daughter snagged one. No phone allowed, but she is going to try and take her camera in.

  72. 72.

    Ruckus

    @Mart:
    I supposedly have a pure blood Native Indian ancestor. Wouldn’t that make me a bit higher up the food chain than a Mayflower descendant?

  74. 74.

    Mustang Bobby

    According to my family, I’m a descendant on my mother’s side of King Edward III. On my dad’s side, I’m Welsh. So… you may bow and/or curtsy before me; your choice.

  76. 76.

    Amir Khalid

    Interesting. There are Malay sultans who claim to be descended from Alexander the Great (or Iskandar Zulkarnain, as he’s known in these parts) through a pre-Muslim era king, Merong Mahawangsa. Could be true, for all anyone knows; wouldn’t really matter either way.

  78. 78.

    Mel

    @M. Bouffant: My grandmother was an historian and a DAR lady, so I spent a lot of childhood summer vacations sneezing my way through dusty archives and travelling to old houses, graveyards and churches. My Dad’s side of the family has lots of noble / royal ancestry (Tudors, Spencers, Bigods, DeVeres, Woodvilles, John of Gaunt) at least until each line began to end up on the wrong side of the religious wars, went rogue and joined the Quaker movement, or until they debauched their fortunes away.

    One way or another, they all kicked their royalist crap to the curb, and (at least the Quakers) started doing something other than lounging about, starting wars, and marrying uncomfortably close cousins.

    There is a portrait at Althorp of a particularly judgmental and cranky looking Spencer ancestor who looks just like my great grandma, if grt. grandma had been a geriatric Renaissance Faire LARPer with resting bitchface.

  80. 80.

    joel hanes

    he’s the rightful king

    Can’t be.
    Joshua Abraham Norton, Emperor Of These United States and Protector Of Mexico left no known descendants.

  81. 81.

    Mary G

    That guy spells quite well for a nut job, but talk about a run-on sentence. The first period doesn’t show up til the third paragraph.

  84. 84.

    scav

    Alas, the reputed horse-theives on my mothers side turned out merely to be Bohemian hair-merchants. So, your horses are safe, but not your pony-tails. You have been warned. (No bowing required. We’re tall enough to reach.)

  85. 85.

    Anne Laurie

    @Amir Khalid:

    There are Malay sultans who claim to be descended from Alexander the Great

    Speaking of men who may have worn themselves out prematurely, attempting to leave behind the maximum number of descendants…

  86. 86.

    billcoop4

    @Laura on Kauai:

    Me three on the Mayflower – John Alden and Priscilla Mullins, and one other line. Not a whole lot of privilege here either.

    Me four on Mayflower, and John and Priscilla, also, via daughter Elizabeth Alden Paybodie.

    WMC

  88. 88.

    PPCLI

    I say we give him a shot

    Absolutely! First of all, the man clearly says what he thinks. And he’ll shake things up. Those are the two most important qualities in a leader.

  91. 91.

    No One You Know

    @robert thompson: I’m a MacDuff, and am 2,736,891 in line for the throne. Court, pftt. I’ll see you on the battlefield with my faithful sword, Sandwich-maker.

    A pox on the Stuarts.

  92. 92.

    patroclus

    @No One You Know: Forsooth and forsooth! Fie on all ye MacDuffs! Ye shall know the power of my lance and shall burn in the nether reaches! I, a true Stuart (by a mere 3 maternal lines), am somewhere between 800,000 and 1.5 million in line of succession. By divine right!

  93. 93.

    J R in WV

    @Mike J:

    We visited a castle in France where Richard III (of England) and Richard I (of France) [the same guy, confusing but the first two Richards of England were not kings of France] spent some time. Folks today working at McD’s have a better life than kings did back then.

    If you were lucky enough to live past birth, and to become an adult, then you lived a hard short life, and died young in agony. The castle was at a ford across the river. All fords had castles, they were choke points. Many of them had two castles, one on either side, where the river was the border between two different Lord’s lands.

    A great Lord had several (up to 17 or 19 I forget which) castles a day’s ride apart, so that he never had to spend a night without stone walls in defense, because even a great lord could be killed by brigands at 2 am.

    The kitchen looked like a dungeon, with iron tools to match that impression. They didn’t let us see the real dungeons, probably too dangerous for tourons to go down into. The whole place was a stone maze, difficult to walk around for the lumpy floors, except for the spiral staircases, where the stone was ground flat.

    Great views. Beautiful French countryside now, wild forest with wolves and bears back then, and wild men lurking in the dark that scared even the Lords. Worth the trip, even thought it was a sideshow for our trip, which was to the caves with 30,000 y o paintings in them, and archaeological digs etc.

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