Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Consistently wrong since 2002

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

The willow is too close to the house.

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Reader Interactions

140Comments

  1. 1.

    Adam L Silverman

    Good you posted that. I saw that last night and was wondering when we might get around to it.

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    Lily could do that.

    Went to see Moonlight today. Good flick. Only me in the theatre; kind of neat but not good for revenues. I could see it again, soon.

  8. 8.

    Major Major Major Major

    On Tuesday I was walking down the street and I saw a guy with a shirt that said “I would throw you to the zombies to save my chihuahua!”

    My own shirt that day said “I like my cat. It’s fine. I guess.”

    Pretty much.

  16. 16.

    Felonius Monk

    Snoop Dogg already had people buzzing thanks to his new music video in which he pulls a gun on a Trump-lookalike. The politically charged visual angered Trump, who criticized Snoop via Twitter.

    “Can you imagine what the outcry would be if @SnoopDogg, failing career and all, had aimed and fired the gun at President Obama? Jail time!” Trump wrote.

    After Trump sent out that tweet, the hip-hop world came to the defense of the D-O-double G. T.I. unleashed one of the more fiery responses to 45th President of the United States.

    “@Snoopdogg is a Fuckin Legend you Fuckin Tangerine Tanned Muskrat scrotum skin, Lacefront Possum fur wig wearing, Alternative face, Atomic Dog diarrhea face ass man!!!!,” T.I. said. Snoop has also received support from Common and Bow Wow.

    (Source)

  18. 18.

    Baud

    @Felonius Monk:

    @Snoopdogg is a Fuckin Legend you Fuckin Tangerine Tanned Muskrat scrotum skin, Lacefront Possum fur wig wearing, Alternative face, Atomic Dog diarrhea face ass man!!!!,” T.I. said.

    T.I. = efgoldman

  19. 19.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Felonius Monk:

    Fuckin Tangerine Tanned Muskrat scrotum skin, Lacefront Possum fur wig wearing, Alternative face, Atomic Dog diarrhea face ass man!!!!

    QFT

  21. 21.

    Kay

    @TheOnion
    Federal Judge Pencils Blocking Trump’s Unconstitutional Executive Orders Into Monthly Schedule

  24. 24.

    efgoldman

    @Baud:

    T.I. = efgoldman

    I don’t even know who that is. i have enough people to yell at and about. Like presidential pretenders who can’t even get their name on the ballot.

  28. 28.

    Central Planning

    Since it’s an OT, my microwave broke. Any chance I can send a bill to the CIA since they clearly broke it while installing their surveillance tools?

  29. 29.

    Mary G

    Is it just me or does our preznit look worse and worse every day? His face looks like it’s shriveling, his skin is pitted and has a bad color. The wear and tear that happens to every president over a term has taken less than two months with that one.

  30. 30.

    hovercraft

    @Felonius Monk:

    you Fuckin Tangerine Tanned Muskrat scrotum skin, Lacefront Possum fur wig wearing, Alternative face, Atomic Dog diarrhea face ass man!!!!

    Scotland you have competition.
    Your move.

  35. 35.

    Kay

    Steve Stockman, who served two stints in the U.S. House of Representatives, spent part of Friday in federal court.
    Stockman, a Tea Party favorite who courted controversy thorough two congressional terms, was brought into court Thursday shackled and handcuffed.
    He is accused of conspiring to violate federal election laws during his last term in office. It’s a felony that could send him to federal prison if he’s convicted.
    As Stockman stood before the judge Thursday afternoon, prosecutors alleged that the former Congressman had conspired with two former employees to funnel hundreds of thousands of dollars to his personal use.

    I’m shocked they actually enforced a campaign finance law.

  38. 38.

    jl

    That dog would make a great front poster here. I’ve long noticed this blog has lacked the chihauhua perspective. Which his video shows is much needed these days.

  44. 44.

    efgoldman

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Where the my microwave is watching meme come from?

    Kelly Anne

    “There are many ways to surveil each other now, unfortunately,” she said. “There was an article this week that talked about how you can surveil someone through their phones, certainly through their television sets, any number of different ways. And microwaves that turn into cameras, et cetera. So we know that that is just a fact of modern life.”

    Put another way, Conway gave credence to the documents published by Wikileaks in an attempt to back up the president’s claim.

    Conway attempted to defend herself, saying her comments were being misconstrued.

    On CNN, she said she had been asked about “surveillance generally.” But the Bergen Record columnist’s question was more specific: “Do you know whether Trump Tower was wiretapped?”

    So Conway went another direction on CNN.

    “I’m not in the job of having evidence,” she said. “That’s what investigations are for.”

  45. 45.

    CaseyL

    Tunch is this blog’s patron saint, which leaves room for a spirit animal or two.

    Also: That is one ferociously UNsatisfied chihuahua: all that humping to no apparent effect. Melania can probably relate.

  47. 47.

    Ruckus

    That could be my friends dog. She humps dolls. It is rather hilarious. This however would be the best doll to hump or take a dump on.

  52. 52.

    danielx

    These people are ghouls. Apologies for long block quote….

    Well-known prick with ears Mick Mulvaney says ending Meals on Wheels funding is actually a compassionate thing to do.

    When Mulvaney was asked about the elimination of funding for Meals On Wheels, he answered, “I think you know that Meals On Wheels is not a federal program. It’s part of that Community Development Block Grants (CDBG) that we give to the states, and then many states make the decision to use that money on Meals On Wheels. What I can tell you about CDBGs is that’s what we fund. Right? So we spend $150 billion on those programs since the 1970s. The CDBGs have been identified as programs since I think the second Bush administration as ones that we just not showing any results. We can’t do that anymore. We can’t spend money on programs just because they sound good. Meals On Wheels sounds great. Again, that’s a state decision to fund that particular portion, but to take the federal money and to give that to the states, and say look we want to give you federal money for programs that don’t work. I can’t defend that anymore.”

    Later Mulvaney was asked if this is a hard-hearted budget. He answered, “I don’t think so. In fact, I think it is one of the most compassionate things we can do to. You’re only focusing on half of the equation. Right? You’re focusing on recipients of the money. We’re trying to focus on both the recipients and the folks who give us the money in the first place, and I think it’s fairly compassionate to go to them and say look, we’re not going to ask you for your hard earned money anymore.”

    As if additional confirmation was needed.

    Mulvaney, does any of this sound familiar, you no-doubt-fervent-Christian?

    I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,[a] you did it to me.’ – Matthew 25:36-40

  53. 53.

    amk

    Trump has, so far, forced his Christian backers to defend pussy grabbing, letting seniors starve and turning away refugees. lol?— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 17, 2017

  54. 54.

    amk

    Man. Arguing against feeding kids while you golf at government expense is up there on the Marie Antoinette list of Not a Good Look.— Ted Underwood (@Ted_Underwood) March 16, 2017

  55. 55.

    Mary G

    @Ruckus: The only way it would be better is if the doll was face down.
    “My hair! My $60,000 hair”

    I still have a cough but the addition of three inhalers seems to be calming my bronchitis down, finally, thank FSM. I even caught up on some reading. I hardly ever read comments anywhere but here, but for some reason I caught these on the WaPo and they are pretty good. Almost Balloon Juice quality. On a Jennifer Rubin column, no less.

    jayster
    People are already tuning out Trumpolini up on the Hill because they finally appreciate that he is so intellectually and emotionally challenged that nothing he says makes sense plus he forgets what he said two hours ago. As for Speaker Onan (sic) that pathetic little nonentity only has his job because no one else has stepped up to garner the necessary votes. It’s like asking all the passengers and crew, “Who wants to Captain the Titanic?” after she already hit the iceberg.
    twm
    Let me quote my old pappy – “They don’t have the sense God gave a billy goat!”
    g_k
    “But did the president understand what was in it?”
    Regardless of the topic, the answer to this question is always no.
    Eugene Daniell
    Unless the question is, “Does he understand what’s in it for him?”

  57. 57.

    Gin & Tonic

    Bad day here. When the word used to describe your distal radius is “fragmented” as opposed to “fractured” you know you’re in for a lousy stretch of days.

  58. 58.

    Lizzy L

    @danielx: The verse which I’ve been quoting is, “What does it benefit a man to acquire the whole world and lose his soul?” (Luke 9:25)

    Though most of these folks seemed to have sold their souls already…

  59. 59.

    jl

    @danielx: But that is why the Trumpsters are handing out all those lower and middle income tax cuts, see…. so shut up you silly do-good… oh… wait… I better check that first, huh…

  64. 64.

    efgoldman

    @Lizzy L:

    most of these folks seemed to have sold their souls already…

    Worse, they gave them away for nothing. Not even three beanstalk seeds.

  70. 70.

    efgoldman

    @Gin & Tonic:

    A sub-optimal day of skiing.

    Aargh. “Sub-optimal” hm? Master of understatement.
    I’d have assumed a fall after the recent storm.

  73. 73.

    Gin & Tonic

    @efgoldman: I needed serious velocity to do this. A simple fall wouldn’t have been enough. When the x-ray tech looks at the exposure and says “wow!” that puts you in a good mood.

  80. 80.

    Adam L Silverman

    @burnspbesq: She never practiced. She went right to work for Luntz. Then on to being one of the anti-Clinton elves in the mid 90s. And then on to her own campaign polling and strategy business focusing on women’s issues. Her firm was always a niche player. She married one of the outside attorneys who quietly worked on the Paula Jones suit. He’d previously dated Ann Coulter.

  81. 81.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Gin & Tonic: I’ve adjusted my aggressiveness to the age of my knees. I still like speed, but moguls are curved around rather than bounced over. Best wishes for an easy recovery. I hope it wasn’t your dominant arm.

  84. 84.

    efgoldman

    @Gin & Tonic:

    When the x-ray tech looks at the exposure and says “wow!” that puts you in a good mood.

    Especially because x-ray/ultrasound/imaging techs are trained never to comment.

  85. 85.

    Mary G

    @Gin & Tonic: Ouch. I hope you have as good a result as I did with my ankle fracture, which also involved many small pieces broken off the tibia, fibula and tarsal bones. They were very pessimistic after the surgery, warning me of horrible pain and loss of function. Instead it healed up and all the bits and bobs screwed together with a lot of metal fused so well that I have more pain in the unbroken ankle now and it works fine.

  86. 86.

    Misswhatsis

    Y’all y’all listen! A tiny little town in N.H. voted in favor of two petition warrant articles tonight, both of which told the current administration to walk their nonsense right back up.

    Here they are:

    Article 1: In order to ensure that Wilton is a safe and welcoming community for all, employees of the town of Wilton shall not inquire about, report, or act upon any person’s immigration status under any circumstances while performing their duties.
    This article is necessary to prevent residents of, or visitors to, Wilton from being asked to prove immigrant status to any town employee (police, town hall…). If this is to be done, it is the job of the federal government; town employees are not required to do the federal government’s work. If they are asked to do this they can point to town policy (if this is approved) to refuse to participate. Additionally, having a town that has declared itself safe for all people regardless of immigration status makes us a kinder and safer community.
    Article 2: The town of Wilton affirms its commitment to the rights ensured by the First and Fourth Amendments to the Constitution of the United States of America and declares that in the town of Wilton no person shall be required to declare their religious or philosophical belief or affiliation, nor to sign a registry for any belief or affiliation.
    This article is fairly self-explanatory. We don’t want fellow humans separated, labeled and possibly impounded. Recall what happened to Japanese Americans during World War II: vote to ensure a similar atrocity does not happen in our town.

    And did I say that they passed? These same warrant articles are on the ballots for 5 more towns later this week.

  88. 88.

    Gin & Tonic

    Driving up there early this morning I passed some douchebag driving a Tesla with CT plates and a license plate frame saying “Who is John Galt?” Irony is dead and buried. Motherfucker was driving on a taxpayer-funded toll-free interstate highway *that he doesn’t even pay for the maintenance of* since he does not buy gasoline. It was all I could do to keep from running him off the road.

  92. 92.

    Felonius Monk

    Per Josh Marshall at TPM:

    Speaker Paul Ryan just gave two back to back live interviews on MSNBC (Meet the Press Daily) and CNN (Wolf Blitzer). He struck me as agitated and defensive, occasionally verging on sarcastic. They weren’t great interviews. I’m tempted to call them meltdowns. But that’s probably overstated; I’m going to wait to hear what others think. What I will say is that, having heard Ryan make his case, I think he and his bill may be in a worse position than I realized.

    In case you had not yet seen this.

  93. 93.

    danielx

    @Adam L Silverman:

    She married one of the outside attorneys who quietly worked on the Paula Jones suit. He’d previously dated Ann Coulter.

    Thereby confirming his appalling taste in women.

  95. 95.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Mary G: Thanks for saying that, Someone close to me badly broke her ankle a couple of months ago. Surgeons screwed it together and she is recovering. On her second cast and starting to put weight on it. She’s worried. I will cite you as a positive example.

  96. 96.

    danielx

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I foresee that you’re going to need one of those cards showing you have a medical device implanted to get on an airplane in future.

  101. 101.

    danielx

    From the Beeb:

    While Mr. Ryan is undertaking his juggling act, the president seems intent on throwing baseballs at his head.

  104. 104.

    KlareCole

    @danielx: The most disgusting part of Mulvaney’s comments were that Meals on Wheels did not show results. Huh? People get fed & checked on daily. Their lives are improved & extended. Wonder what result he was expecting? Recipients greeting the door in their boogie shoes? These people are too evil & stupid for words.

  106. 106.

    NotMax

    @Mary G

    Perhaps this will help soothe things somewhat. In any case, couldn’t hurt. Not in any sense meant to be a substitute for real bronchitis medication, but have found it it ameliorative during cough and cold season.

    Garlic Tea

    In a large saucepan, bring 3 cups of water and 3 cloves of garlic (cut in half) to a boil. Turn off the heat when the water boils, and add 1/2 cup of honey and 1/2 cup of fresh lemon juice. Strain. Sip 1/2 cup, warm, three times a day. Refrigerate extra to use the next day.

  110. 110.

    NotMax

    @amk
    ”
    Every job he’s had as an adult, Congressional or not, has involved foisting baloney on the public.

  111. 111.

    Mike in NC

    @KlareCole: Obviously Mulvaney expects the Meals on Wheels moochers to volunteer as NASCAR pit crews in exchange for a baloney sandwich and glass of ice tea.

  113. 113.

    Ruckus

    @Lizzy L:
    I think you are assuming that they had a soul to sell. It’s even odds that one could not have been found at any time in their existence.

  114. 114.

    Ruckus

    @Gin & Tonic:
    Have a friend who broke his foot in so many pieces that his ortho (who was mine as well) told me that putting it back together was like a jigsaw puzzle, with the pieces so far removed from where they belonged that he didn’t understand why he hadn’t lost his foot completely. The best part? He walks without the aid of any device and says pain is not even an issue. Also having worked in professional sports for a very long time, I and tell you I’ve seen X-Rays that make you shudder, and they belong to someone else. Good docs do amazing things these days.
    So good luck and heal up soon.

  115. 115.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Last night when trumpy was babbling about his EO/Ban, and he said the court’s rejection made us look weak, and the (from memory) ‘and we’re not weak, folks, not anymore, believe me’. and his fans stopped breathing through their mouths long enough to hoot and cheer and lifted their knuckles up off the ground to applaud and, not a doubt in my mind, do that thirty year old Arsenio Hall fist and whoop thing. Here’s how tough and strong and scary we are now

    Tillerson says diplomacy with North Korea has ‘failed’; Pyongyang warns of war
    By Anna Fifield and Anne Gearan March 16 at 11:08 AM
    TOKYO — The Trump administration made a clear break Thursday with diplomatic efforts to talk North Korea out of a nuclear confrontation, bringing the United States and its Asian allies closer to a military response than at any point in more than a decade.
    Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that 20 years of trying to persuade North Korea to abandon its nuclear program had failed and that he was visiting Asia “to exchange views on a new approach.”
    Soon after Tillerson’s remarks, in a sign of mounting tensions, the North Korean Embassy held an extraordinary news conference in Beijing to blame the potential for nuclear war on the United States while vowing that its homegrown nuclear testing program will continue in self-defense.

  116. 116.

    Ruckus

    @Gin & Tonic:
    I’ve had both wrists in casts but my ex boss beat me at that big time. He had both of them in casts at the same time. He said his girl friend at the time was a trouper way beyond the call. Just imagine the things you can’t do in the smallest room in the house when both of your hands are bent back 90 deg and in casts. One hand is tough, no hands is impossible. In my case I did get to learn that being ambidextrous does not mean you can write anything reasonable with your off hand.

  117. 117.

    efgoldman

    @Ruckus:

    Good docs do amazing things these days.

    And 24 hours ago we were in a thread slagging orthopods.
    Strange business, blogging.

  121. 121.

    Ruckus

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    That same ortho who fixed my friends foot fixed my shoulder. The repaired one works better than the other, which is still completely OEM. OK worn out OEM.

  124. 124.

    Dog Dawg Damn

    Stephen Colbert lampooning Rachel Maddow was the funniest thing ever. So good. Amazing
    .

  125. 125.

    sukabi

    @efgoldman: naw, don’t send it to the CIA, their budget will probably be cut…send the bill to the White House….if it weren’t so expensive I’d send the microwave to the White House for repair.

  127. 127.

    Achrachno

    Just saw this on Yahoo News and was initially shocked, but then thought I remembered hearing about this sort of thing before. Am I misremembering, or is there a pattern?

    OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — An Oklahoma state senator was booked Thursday on child prostitution charges for allegedly hiring a 17-year-old boy for sex, leading to calls for his resignation and a separate internal investigation into his years of work with a youth program.

    Ralph Shortey, a 35-year-old conservative Republican who has a wife and three young daughters, surrendered to authorities on charges of engaging in child prostitution, transporting a minor for prostitution and engaging in prostitution within 1,000 feet of a church. He was released after about two hours on a $100,000 bond.

  128. 128.

    JCJ

    @Gin & Tonic:

    When the x-ray tech looks at the exposure and says “wow!” that puts you in a good mood.

    Yeah, when I see an awful image on a CT scan or MRI and say “oh crap!” my associate always wants to see what I am looking at.

    Best wishes for a good recovery, both short term (pain) and long term (normal function of the arm/wrist.)

  129. 129.

    JCJ

    @efgoldman:

    And 24 hours ago we were in a thread slagging orthopods.

    What i learned about orthopedic surgeons long ago: To be an orthopedic surgeon you nee to be as strong as an ox and twice as smart!

    I think Tom Price fails miserably at the latter condition.

  130. 130.

    Mike J

    Overnights must be dull at the National Weather Service, at least in the Seattle office:

    NWS Seattle ‏Verified account @NWSSeattle Mar 13
    There Is A Light That Never Goes Out. But we won’t see much sun. Prefer rain? How Soon Is Now? We know..That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore. #wawx

    NWS Seattle‏ Verified account @NWSSeattle Mar 14
    On a Positive Vibration note, you won’t be Waiting in Vain for dryness. Rain makes an Exodus next week & we could be Jammin’ in sun. #wawx

    NWS Seattle‏ Verified account @NWSSeattle Mar 14
    You may call this weather Super Bad, but don’t wake up in Cold Sweat. We’ll inject some Soul Power into the forecast & Make It Funky. #wawx

    NWS Seattle‏ Verified account @NWSSeattle Mar 15
    Rain has you saying I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. Here’s the Sweetest Thing. 1st day of spring could be a Beautiful Day. #wawx

    NWS Seattle‏ Verified account @NWSSeattle 2 hours ago
    We noticed many Shiny Happy People today. Rain returns, but don’t spill your Orange Crush over it. You can Stand in the sun again soon #wawx

  137. 137.

    zhena gogolia

    It’s the canary (canaries?) going mad in the background that really makes this video.

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