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If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

The words do not have to be perfect.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

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Republicans do not pay their debts.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

Text STOP to opt out of updates on war plans.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Late Night Cruel Plebian Mockery Open Thread: Jared of Arabia

Late Night Cruel Plebian Mockery Open Thread: Jared of Arabia

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Drew Magary, at Deadspin [NSFW]:

Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge of beating ISIS. Yes, ISIS!…


But srsly:

The Trump team, with its acute sense of victimhood, surely ought to have realized that a member of the President’s immediate family would be a tempting target in a war zone; perhaps it figured that the American and Iraqi militaries would dispatch so many troops to guard him that there was nothing to fear, for Kushner, at least. Whether announcing his imminent arrival might have put those ordinary soldiers at even more risk does not seem to have occurred to the White House. Indeed, the only real puzzle of the Kushner trip is which particular Trumpian political vice it best illustrates: deluded self-aggrandizement or a callous indifference to other people’s lives; conflicts of interest or a lack of any interest in the consequences of the use of power…

Kushner had gone to Iraq, Spicer said, at the invitation of the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who “believed it was an opportunity” for the President’s son-in-law. Spicer, drawing himself up, added that it was “an opportunity that I think every government official and every member of the media should, frankly, take advantage of if offered that opportunity,” as if reporters, in failing to appreciate Kushner’s diligent use of motorcades, were themselves morally remiss—war-zone-sightseeing slackers. The repeated use of the word “opportunity” is jarring, and not only because it turns American troops into tourist attractions…

Reader Interactions

83Comments

  3. 3.

    efgoldman

    I wonder what Mattis, the nominal Secretary of Defense, thinks about all this.
    He’s been vewy, vewy quiet watewy.

    ETA: Maybe there ought to be a pool for his resignation date. I’ve got June 1. Yes, this year.

  4. 4.

    Doug R

    Who the fuk wears a flak jacket over a blazer? Who wears a blazer in Iraq? Vest goes over the shirt, then if you’re cold, a fraking windbreaker over top. Sheesh.

  5. 5.

    jl

    Kushner, and his frat buddy Trevor, or whoever he is, would look ridiculous no matter what they wore.
    I don’t see how the story is primary about him, or what his attitude is, or should be, towards the trip. Or whether he should have gone.

    If the Joint Chief’s invited him, probably they are desperately trying to get an inside, and semi-sane though callow, line to the fool that is president right now. Which is comment enough on the mess in the WH.

  8. 8.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Pretty much epitomizes what my more surly NCOs used to refer to as “fucking civilian slime.”

  10. 10.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @GrandJury:

    Maybe Netflix can offer MASH reruns to get people in the mood.

    Fun fact: when I was stationed in Korea (1987-88) the ROK government wouldn’t allow AFKN to broadcast M*A*S*H reruns, as it was thought by the Koreans to be derogatory, and AFKN broadcast in NTSC which was the ROK TV broadcast standard at the time, so everyone in Seoul could watch AFKN. This was also something of an issue when AFKN rebroadcast network news reports of protests in Seoul off US television which the Koreans could not see on the Korean broadcast channels.

  11. 11.

    joel hanes

    This same approach worked out so very well for everyone when W/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Feith staffed the Coalition Provisional Authority with overweening youngsters with no experience — I can certainly see why The Donald is following their example.

  15. 15.

    'As You Know' Bob

    Kushner was put in charge finding Middle East peace.
    So he accepted an invitation to visit Baghdad – ON THE VERY SAME DAY that el-Sisi was scheduled to visit the White House.

    Did NO ONE think that maybe meeting the LEADER OF EGYPT just MIGHT be useful in finding a path to peace in the Middle East????

    Nope, he can’t possibly reschedule the Iraq junket. By a day or so.

    This gang is just fractally incompetent – incompetent at whatever scale you examine….

  16. 16.

    efgoldman

    @joel hanes:

    This same approach worked out so very well for everyone when W/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Feith staffed the Coalition Provisional Authority

    In fairness, Rummy didn’t know that flower-strewing season was over.
    He also didn’t know that people and vehicles needed armor. How could he? He wasn’t the detail guy.
    Whatever else you could say about Obama, he never let the smartest guy in the room be the smartest guy in the room.

  20. 20.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    imagine the liburel media hysteria if Hillary had her son-in-law running the state department

  21. 21.

    seaboogie

    @efgoldman:

    Whatever else you could say about Obama, he never let the smartest guy in the room be the smartest guy in the room.

    Yes, this.

  23. 23.

    efgoldman

    @David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch:

    imagine the liburel media hysteria if Hillary….

    Y’know what? I’m really done with “imagine the media / flying monkeys / mouth breathers in congress…” trope.
    We don’t have to imagine shit. It fucking happened.
    All the assholes belong in jail or some kind of unemployed, but they’re not going to be. most of them. More’s the pity, but it’s past time to move on, and kick some ass.

  24. 24.

    David Spikes

    He always wears the same things-I thought it was some sort of religious thing, or maybe a frat initiation that never ended.
    The boys got some hefty haunches for a skinny guy-maybe he thinks the top is slimming.

  25. 25.

    efgoldman

    @joel hanes:

    I’ll guess Bass Weejuns

    Penny loafers or tassels?
    Although I’m sure Ivanka absolutely forbids the wearing of any off the shelf clothes that any schlub can buy. He’s wearing either custom made or very, very expensive imports.

  26. 26.

    MoxieM

    Boat shoes– over/under.?@efgoldman: Can’t see him graduated to Guccis though. Allen Edmonds, maybe.

    These are the things I believe these folks actually think about.

  27. 27.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @efgoldman: To use my line famous on other sites as well:

    Wipe them out. All of them.

    He’s wearing either custom made or very, very expensive imports.

    Explains that tremendous credit card debt he’s carrying.

  29. 29.

    efgoldman

    @MoxieM:

    Can’t see him graduated to Guccis though. Allen Edmonds, maybe.

    He’s married to Daddy’s Little Rich Girl, who is attractive by some standards, fancies herself an expert clothing designer and has no taste. Allen Edmonds are really good, if overpriced, shoes, but the designs are ordinary, and again, any schlub with enough money can buy them. Custom AND Italian, maybe, minimum $500=$600 / pair, not counting the fitting and measuring.

  31. 31.

    jl

    Could be worse. Can you imagine the brass dragging Bannon out there? Probably end up leaving him out there and a big scandal would ensue.

    Or Ol’ Oil Man Rex? Is he ever going to go on one of these tours? Probably have some enlisted people carry him around in a sedan chair, so Ol’ Oil Man Rex won’t fall down and hurt himself when he dozes off, and less chance any of the help will make eye contact with the Great Man.

  32. 32.

    Ruckus

    He looks like a jr executive on his first day, that has been dressed by his mom, and given first day survival instructions by his frat bros who hate his moronic ass. IOW he’s the new guy whose dad owns the company but has run it into the ground.

  33. 33.

    Felonius Monk

    @slag:

    That Deadspin article title put it best:

    Yeah. That headline was great, but so was the closing paragraph:

    What a piece of shit.

  34. 34.

    jl

    @Ruckus:

    ” IOW he’s the new guy whose dad owns the company but has run it into the ground. ”

    From what I’ve read that was Jared’s first job. He has graduated from mismanaging his dad’s business to helping a fool wreck a bigger organization.

  36. 36.

    Ruckus

    @Villago Delenda Est:
    Niedermayer of course was an ass, but he at least had an inkling of an idea of that. He just didn’t give a big shit. This one? Not one fucking clue. And even drumpf at some level knows he’s an ass.
    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Wipe them out. All of them.

    I generally used to think this was over the top. I’m coming around. At somewhere near warp speed.

  38. 38.

    Ruckus

    @jl:

    He has graduated from mismanaging his dad’s business to helping a fool wreck a bigger organization.

    1. Drumpf is far far worse that any fucking fool. But your point is taken.
    2. Really what else could be expected from a family that has managed to turn a reasonable inheritance into a huge pile of gold painted bullshit?

  39. 39.

    slag

    Good for Jared Kushner for going to Iraq to learn. If he had been photographed wearing fatigues, people would be making fun of that.

    So, obviously, his only possible option was to go dressed as a walking cliche.

  40. 40.

    Cacti

    Kushner’s a smart guy. He went to Harvard.

    What’s that you say? He got in on the affirmative action program for mediocre rich white kids (aka my daddy cut a huge donation check)?

    Yeah, we’re screwed if he’s considered the brains of the operation.

  41. 41.

    Ruckus

    @Cacti:

    Yeah, we’re screwed if he’s considered the brains of the operation.

    We’d still be royally screwed if he was considered the third shift janitor at a McDs which only has 2 shifts.

  43. 43.

    MattF

    @Darkrose: Maybe it’s changed, but Jos. A. Banks is not a ‘trust baby’ kind of place. More like ‘3-for-1 sale every weekend, and we have your size’. I.e., middle-aged guys who need a probably not-cheap-looking suit once in a while and are on the shorter and chubbier side. And yeah, I shop there.

  44. 44.

    Origuy

    @MattF: I learn things here. I haven’t bought a suit in decades; the only thing formal that I have which fits is the Prince Charlie jacket that goes with my kilt. I probably should buy a suit and you described my specifications.

  45. 45.

    Aleta

    @efgoldman:

    He also (ch. to)) wasn’t bothered that people and vehicles needed armor. How could he? He wasn’t the detail guy.

    This is the kind of indifferent killers who’ve been invading this country without pretense since (in my awareness) at least 1998. The US is the easiest/safest for the potential yield of profit right now, and offers the best power tools for manipulating the world. They don’t hate the US in particular, it’s business. That moment with the armor tells everything we need to know and remember about this entire crew, including some in the journalism business.

  46. 46.

    Wallis Lane

    @MattF: SNL actually did a wicked fake commercial for Jos. A Bank where a housewife was using their suits instead of paper towels because they were cheaper and more absorbent.

  47. 47.

    MattF

    @Wallis Lane: Yeah, and then they were acquired by a competing brand. So, the constant sales have tapered off, but (and maybe, therefore), they’re not doing very well.

  48. 48.

    Morzer

    El Jefe Supremo Mojito JarJar is taking command! What could possibly go…. what, they missed the runways? Umm, that was … deliberate because… it’s so easy to repair them… so…we just annihilated some random patches of dirt that no-one will ever repair because…. VICTORY! PRESIDENTIAL!

  49. 49.

    low-tech cyclist

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Wipe them out. All of them.

    Not being the killing sort, my thought is: re-education camps for the 0.01%. Confiscate their assets, send them to the camps, after a couple of years of re-education just for the sake of re-channeling their overly entitled brains, re-train them to make a living doing crap jobs, then kick ’em out to make a living without their fortunes. Those of retirement age can collect a median worker’s Social Security pension.

    We could do it, too. There are ~325 million Americans, so 0.01% is 32,500 – a crowd that wouldn’t even fill Fenway Park. And more to the point, a much smaller number than we (shamefully) put in internment camps during WWII due to Japanese ancestry. So it would hardly be a logistical challenge.

  50. 50.

    Patricia Kayden

    @amk: Fine. Most military members/veterans vote Republican. I’m sure they’re perfectly ok with anything Trump does.

  51. 51.

    kd bart

    “I must say that I can go for a bloody G&T about now. Is it 5 O’Clock yet? Well, it’s 5 O’Clock somewhere. Let’s hit the club.”

  52. 52.

    geg6

    @low-tech cyclist:

    Nah. They won’t learn, they’ll whine and moan and expect us all to feel sorry for them.

    I’m with VDE on this. Look at that douche in the photo. You really think he can be rehabbed?

  53. 53.

    Aleta

    Susan Simpson‏ @TheViewFromLL2
    In hindsight, it’s obvious that “an executive hires a white nationalist and a Jew to be his top aides” was a pitch for a bad reality TV show

  55. 55.

    Zinsky

    @Wallis Lane: Damn glad to meet you… (Is how that phrase ends, I believe). Anyway, Jared is a pathetic joke. I can only imagine the contempt those grunts had for this preppy, wimpy piece of shit. If Jared got as much as a hangnail, I’m guessing he would start crying and run looking for Mommy. Trump, in addition to being stupid, poorly-mannered and a sexual predator also must be utterly tone-deaf and unable to see how inappropriate it is to have a weenie like Jared interacting with testosterone laden troops in the field. They are both brain-dead morons!

  57. 57.

    TriassicSands

    @amk:

    My guess would be that the troops who love Trump swooned at the “opportunity” to shake hands with someone so close to the great man. Those who aren’t Trump fans may have had to take anti-emetic meds to keep from covering Kushner with vomitus.

  59. 59.

    TriassicSands

    @jl:

    If the Joint Chief’s invited him…

    They’re incompetent and should be replaced. The problem is the replacer-in-chief is the most incompetent fool of all and everyone he chooses to fill a position has to be suspect.

  61. 61.

    efgoldman

    @low-tech cyclist:

    There are ~325 million Americans, so 0.01% is 32,500 – a crowd that wouldn’t even fill Fenway Park

    Yes, but they’re the only ones who can afford to go there these days.

  64. 64.

    Miss Bianca

    @Aleta: “Heil, Honey, I’m Home”? Yeah, the jokes just write themselves…or maybe the title is, “Sometimes I Just Kill Me”.

  65. 65.

    Miss Bianca

    @Origuy: stick with the kilt. As Diana Gabaldon has so sagely observed, there is no man so old, crabbed, or ill-favored that a kilt won’t favor his build. Of course, she goes on to make the observation that if a man is young, tall, and handsome the results are fairly breath-taking. ;-)

  66. 66.

    Comrade Misfit

    The Izod Warriors on patrol.

    So, departments full of subject matter experts and the Guy That Married the Sociopathic Boss’s Idiot Daughter is running things.

    We are so screwed.

  67. 67.

    raptusregailter

    Can’t believe that no one has yet commented on Jared’s man-purse and how well it coordinates with his flak jacket.

  68. 68.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @low-tech cyclist: “Wipe them out. All of them.” doesn’t necessarily mean “remove them from this mortal coil”. It can mean exactly what you’ve described; a sudden change from the status quo to a vacation in Club Fed low rent without the tennis courts. In the case of the Villagers, new careers cleaning up on aisle five, more suited to their abilities than what they’re doing now, which is nothing but stenography and hagiography, with not a basic journalistic notion in sight. For the .01%, it’s goodbye to all their assets and fend for themselves in the January streets of Chicago for a bit. Of course, for both groups, they might long for the sweet release of death after having been brought so low and learned nothing from the experience.

  71. 71.

    Ruckus

    @MattF:
    Difficult to change your image of selling cheap suits (3 for 1!!!!!) or any product into a better line. Especially if you don’t change anything but the sales pitch, which had been the same for ever.

  74. 74.

    low-tech cyclist

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    @low-tech cyclist: “Wipe them out. All of them.” doesn’t necessarily mean “remove them from this mortal coil”. It can mean exactly what you’ve described…Of course, for both groups, they might long for the sweet release of death after having been brought so low and learned nothing from the experience.

    Thanks for the clarification!

    @geg6:

    Nah. They won’t learn, they’ll whine and moan and expect us all to feel sorry for them.
    I’m with VDE on this. Look at that douche in the photo. You really think he can be rehabbed?

    Nah, I don’t care if they’re rehabbed or not. Just want to take their assets, humiliate them for a couple of years, and then push them back into the world to live like common people.

  76. 76.

    Doug R

    The trouble with seizing all assets is that it never stops there. I’d rather keep nudging up their tax rates until they can’t afford superpacs anymore. Or forcing donations above say $100 or $1000 to have the actual person’s name behind them, no shell corporations.

  78. 78.

    sheila in nc

    @Origuy: Fabulous! I’ve done some Scottish dancing the past (Gay Gordons and what have you) but lately when I dance it’s usually English country dance (aka the dances you see in the Pride and Prejudice movies). And way back in the day, when I was in grad school in New England, I probably spent as much time contra dancing as I did in the lab.
    Kudos for how well you rock the look.

  80. 80.

    Ruckus

    This entire maladministration is one big Monty Python Upper Class Twit skit.
    Without the laughs.

  81. 81.

    artem1s

    @low-tech cyclist:

    We could do it, too. There are ~325 million Americans, so 0.01% is 32,500 – a crowd that wouldn’t even fill Fenway Park.

    If there are nuclear arms involved, or some horrid, mismanaged natural disaster; if the rumors about the bribes to get the GOP to look the other way…I could actually get behind this. It’s time to start seizing the assets of those who are trying their best to kill the planet and all the people on it. Not ready to go full Madame DeFarge yet, but a year or ten in Guantanamo? or Anthrax Island? Yea, I’m there. Also, their kids too. frankly, I have felt this way about the Bush crime family for a while now. these guys don’t know how to build. All they know is raping and pillaging.

    I honestly believe that if Hillary (or Bamz or Biden) fell in that 1%, she would take the penalty like a champ, as would her daughter, and then rebuild from the ground up without batting an eye.

  82. 82.

    Spaniel

    @Ruckus:

    Just another day at the Republican Palace in Baghdad with the CPA folks scrambling around. Too cool for ACU but still safety minded to find plates to protect the heart.

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