Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

This really is a full service blog.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

In short, I come down firmly on all sides of the issue.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Not all heroes wear capes.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Everybody saw this coming.

You are here: Home / Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage

by | 175 Comments

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Bobo’s been busy:

Knot, tied: New York Times columnist David Brooks wed Anne Snyder, his former research assistant, on Sunday.

The couple’s relationship sort-of went public in an inauspicious way — Politico noted in a wink-wink 2015 piece that the conservative columnist had devoted an outsized amount of verbiage in the acknowledgements of his book “The Road to Character” to Snyder, who is 23 years his junior. But all’s well that ends with bells, and Atlantic Media owner David Bradley and his wife, Katherine Bradley, threw a rehearsal luncheon for the couple on Saturday, we’re told (that poolside tent saw a lot of activity this weekend), followed by a Sunday ceremony at the Arboretum.

It’s the first marriage for Snyder, 32, now a freelance writer and director of a Houston, Tex., non-profit initiative. Brooks, 55, acknowledged his split from first wife, Sarah Brooks, in early 2015. They have three children.

I can’t wait for Ross Douthat’s column about this.

Reader Interactions

175Comments

  1. 1.

    TenguPhule

    But Hillary was worse, because she stayed married to one person.

    ETA: And Brooks has already spawned. Trying to catch up to Trump? Needs another marriage after cheating on this one too.

  2. 2.

    Gin & Tonic

    Am I the only one who hoped this title would head a different sort of post?

  4. 4.

    Roger Moore

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Am I the only one who hoped this title would head a different sort of post?

    No, but given that this Bobo thing has been trending, the smart money was on it rather than the other thing. Besides, give Cole some time.

  5. 5.

    Zoey2020

    Gak. Not to the headline, but to the story beneath. These days, there is always a story beneath.

  10. 10.

    Yarrow

    From that article:

    (that poolside tent saw a lot of activity this weekend),

    I don’t really know what that’s supposed to be suggesting but it sounds disgusting, especially anywhere near any mention of Bobo.

  12. 12.

    JCJ

    @Yarrow: Yeah, I read that and pictured Bobo and Douthat having a three-way or something and got quite queasy

  13. 13.

    EBT

    The only column by Ross Douthat I can’t wait for is his own obituary. You just know the smug, pompous, sanctimonious piece of shit wrote it himself.

  21. 21.

    'As You Know' Bob

    I’m old enough to remember American divorce laws BEFORE they were liberalized.

    And it’s a good thing: but I think that ANY conservative who avails themselves of one of the humane benefits of liberalism needs to first acknowledge that conservatism is a terrible political philosophy based upon increasing human misery.

    Brooks is allowed to get divorced and remarry ONLY because conservatives LOST that battle.

    Now he’ll go right back to praising “traditional family values”.

  23. 23.

    'As You Know' Bob

    That he left his wife of thirty years to run off with the young woman who helped him with his book on “Character” is just icing on the cake.

  24. 24.

    TenguPhule

    @bemused: His Benjamins were stacked up long enough. A little on the soft side, but green where it counted.

  28. 28.

    John Revolta

    @Roger Moore: How can you learn from your mistakes without making any?

    Well personally, I have had to rely on learning from the mistakes of others. Fortunately there has never been a shortage of opportunities.

    I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.

  31. 31.

    jharp

    I just don’t get the leaving the Mrs. to satisfy the little head.

    I don’t know. Maybe it’s because we have long marriages in my family and that seems to work so well.

  36. 36.

    Lapassionara

    @Roger Moore: what I would learn from this is to show some humility in my writing, if I were so important as to have a effing place in the NYT (I know there ia a better way to refer to it) several times a week to sermonize to others about their morals.

  38. 38.

    Roger Moore

    @jharp:

    I just don’t get the leaving the Mrs. to satisfy the little head.

    Don’t be so quick to judge. Maybe the former Mrs. Brooks had a wandering eye and the marriage was all but over by the time he met the new Mrs. Brooks.

  39. 39.

    Mary G

    @Princess: Her taste is mostly bad. Those gold-rimmed dishes towards the bottom look like something an 8th grader would make in a summer Introduction to Ceramics class. People have already “purchased with love” most of it. Unfortunately, the VitaMix is only subscribed part way.

  41. 41.

    Steve in the ATL

    @jharp:

    I just don’t get the leaving the Mrs. to satisfy the little head.

    I’m not the cheating kind anyway, but I have a wife and two daughters and i deal with HR all day, ergo the last thing I need in my life is another woman!

  43. 43.

    oldster

    His next column will be about the moral pathology afflicting inner-city ghetto-dwellers who are unable to commit to stable family formation.

    Asshole. How I loathe these rich turds.

    I don’t hold her wholly harmless, either. She is helping him to enact one of the central rituals of the patriarchy: i.e. old guy dumps wife after she has kids, leaves her to a life-time of significantly diminished wealth, while he goes off to spawn again. She’s old enough to know that this is a radically anti-feminist act. I hope they both burn in hell.

  45. 45.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Gin & Tonic: You wanted John to announce that he was engaged? Awww. How sweet. It’s cute how we are so invested in his personal life.

  47. 47.

    Patricia Kayden

    @oldster: Neil Ferguson, Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, DeSouza. They love “family values” in theory but not in practice, unless it can somehow be used as a bludgeon against gays.

  52. 52.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    How many people who aren’t (a) former New Yorkers and (b) 65 or older even know who John Lindsay was?

    I do.

    @Princess:

    Imagine a table covered with that stuff.

    I prefer not to.

  53. 53.

    TenguPhule

    @Roger Moore: Well, she did consider Brooks an acceptable mate in the first place. Enough to let him spawn three times on her. So I don’t think your argument is gonna fly.

  54. 54.

    PsiFighter37

    I hope the NYT comments section drops a giant turd on him next time he bothers to write a bullshit column. This is so incredibly rich.

    Also, who the fuck would find someone almost 25 years older than them who speaks in such a moralizing, assholish tone attractive?

  55. 55.

    Another Scott

    @Princess: They’re going to need a 6000 square foot kitchen to hold all that crap beautiful glassware and plates.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  60. 60.

    Chet Murthy

    @TenguPhule: We don’t need to reach for “she had three children by him”. The evidence is pretty clear, isn’t it? I mean, there’s a reason wealthy middle-aged men get divorced from their wives of youth, and take up with younger models. Sure sure, sometimes it’s the wife’s choosing. But usually it’s the man who’s decided to trade in for, as I said, a younger model.

    I’m not a woman, so I can’t comment on the new wife, and whether or not she’s a feminist. I’ll leave that to other feminists. I -can- comment on him, and like others here, wowsers, talk about moral consistency.

  63. 63.

    sm*t cl*de

    @TenguPhule:
    And Brooks has already spawned.

    No wonder White culture is so dysfunctional. I blame the lack of family stability and father figures.

    EDT: Oldster said it funnier at #43.

  64. 64.

    NYCMT

    There were six cookbooks. I’ll cop to towels and two sets of porcelain (Rosenthal Suomi Rangoon, Bernardaud Louvre), six Villeroy flutes, a mixer and a blender, but that was it. Cookbooks and plastic chargers are tacky.

  67. 67.

    hovercraft

    @bemused:
    All that NY Times money, the PBS money and book royalties make him more attractive to some. Murdoch has been married how many times, Rush, The Orange Menace? You can’t tell me that these people if they were Joe The Plumber would have gotten all these young attractive women to marry them. Just Sayin’.
    @JCJ:
    I must echo Omnes Omnibus, WTF is wrong with you introducing an image like that into the world? Not cool dude, not cool!

  69. 69.

    MoxieM

    @Princess: Well, she certainly loves her Good Grips accessories. From which I infer nothing. Nothing at all. It would be irresponsible to infer anything about her grip.

  74. 74.

    Yarrow

    @Princess: Ewww! I had a look. That stuff is ugly. And that picture of them…it looks like she’s with her dad. Just….no.

  75. 75.

    J R in WV

    Well.

    Now we see what kind of morality Mr. Brooks lives by, as opposed to the morality he preaches to Democrats. Like Mrs. Clinton, who remains with her husband. Or me, who has been married since 1971. To a Democratic union organizer. Who flew around the nation with her union’s President, convincing people to stick with the union.

    Brooks has no morals – none whatsoever. Nor does his new wife. I’m saying this because Brooks preaches a calvinist (sic, deliberately as I have no respect for calvinism!) morality. Then he refuses to live by the morality he preaches.

  76. 76.

    Steve in the ATL

    @JPL: though I was behind you on 141 earlier, but when I got closer to the Maserati the license plate read “JHL”. The blue was not a great color; I assume yours is a more elegant tone.

  80. 80.

    eemom

    Two weary observations:

    1. That someone like Brooks would dump his wife for a younger woman is so fucking predictable that I would be shocked if he didn’t do it. See, e.g., Will, George.

    2. The fact that Brooks and I are the same age, such that I can’t realistically hope to piss on his grave, is a sort of reverse proof of divine intervention. That, or I somehow managed to piss God off more than I thought.

  83. 83.

    Felonius Monk

    Since his new wife is still young enough to bear children, it should scare the living shit out of everyone that this asshole could spawn again.

  84. 84.

    Yarrow

    @Mary G: The china set looks uneven. Is that the way it’s supposed to look? I mean, the plates and bowls don’t look symmetrical. Is that trendy right now? It’s going to look really stupid in five years, if so.

  85. 85.

    Mary G

    @Princess: And nothing seems like it goes with anything else. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that it had all been returned for cash.

  87. 87.

    lollipopguild

    @J R in WV: Morality, paying taxes, obeying laws, things like that are for the little people. Look at trump. Obama and Michelle did everything right that we as a country ask people to do and it earned them squat from the right wing racist assholes.

  88. 88.

    sigaba

    @Lapassionara:

    Seriously, the road to character is marked with indiscretions.

    “Indiscretions” in this sense is supposed to entail suffering and humiliation. Boning your secretary while everybody in the western world snickers doesn’t count.

  89. 89.

    Quinerly

    Don’t think anyone posted this but didn’t read all the comments. It gets better…the new Mrs. Bobo was trying to “serve Christ through her career” when she landed the job with Bobo. Looks like he’s converting: http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=112957

  94. 94.

    TenguPhule

    @Quinerly:

    the new Mrs. Bobo was trying to “serve Christ through her career” when she landed the job with Bobo.

    Is that what they’re calling it these days?

  95. 95.

    Roger Moore

    @MoxieM:

    It all looks very New Money to me.

    It isn’t obviously and outlandishly expensive enough to be real new money stuff. It mostly looks like upper-middle class who want to think they’re new money stuff.

  97. 97.

    Wallis Lane

    @jharp: To quote John Lithgow in the recent hilarious show “Trial and Error” :

    “The heart wants what the heart wants . . . and then it pumps blood to the penis.”

  98. 98.

    efgoldman

    @J R in WV:

    Then he refuses to live by the morality he preaches.

    That’s kind of bog standard for that cohort, though, isn’t it?
    I mean, Netwnik, Grandpa Walnuts, that turd DeJarlais, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Faye, the list is endless, innit?

  100. 100.

    Another Scott

    @eemom: Re your #2 – Brooks and I were in the same graduation class at Chicago. Fortunately, I didn’t know him at the time.

    And even more fortunately, I don’t know him now!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  101. 101.

    TenguPhule

    @eemom:

    2. The fact that Brooks and I are the same age, such that I can’t realistically hope to piss on his grave, is a sort of reverse proof of divine intervention.

    Don’t give up hope. You can still work to outlive him while you’re still able to piss under your own power.

  102. 102.

    Mary G

    Jane Goodall had some words for Lucretia after finding out she was quoted in her mealy-mouthed book that dropped today. (Warning, CNN, commercial autoplay)

    In a statement to CNNMoney after the book was released Tuesday, Goodall said that the Trump administration has put wildlife, national monuments, clean air and clean water in jeopardy.
    She said she was not aware that Ivanka Trump planned to use her quote in the book, but she said: “I sincerely hope she will take the full import of my words to heart. She is in a position to do much good or terrible harm.”
    “Legislation that was passed by previous governments to protect wildlife such as the Endangered Species Act, create national monuments and other clean air and water legislation have all been jeopardized by this administration,” she continued. “I hope that Ms. Trump will stand with us to value and cherish our natural world and protect this planet for future generations.”

    And I’ve seen a couple of other women on Twitter who were also not at all happy about being quoted.

  105. 105.

    Another Scott

    @Yarrow: Yeah, it’s intentional. To look “handmade” and so forth.

    The “help”She’s going to have fun stacking them in the cupboard. That’s why I said they’d need a 6000 sq ft kitchen…

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  106. 106.

    James Powell

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    How many people who aren’t (a) former New Yorkers and (b) 65 or older even know who John Lindsay was?

    If you’re old enough to remember where you were when JFK was assassinated, you probably remember John Lindsay.

  108. 108.

    Mike in NC

    Trump is now leader of the Party of Personal Responsibility and Family Values. Expect more of this.

  109. 109.

    Elie

    I dunno. Life is hard and short. I have had my hard times in relationships and in the current. Still, I have problems wishing anyone poorly in this arena. Love is one of the few things this world gives us that actually can help other people and help us help other people. Layering on resentment here too is just too much for me. Bobo is an asshole and I can lay it on him on his column. But I wish him well as a fellow traveler in a harsh world or at least look the other way while he celebrates… Are we so bad off that we can’t note even this joy in common? Sad.

  110. 110.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Quinerly:

    From your link:

    Anne Snyder came to work for David as a research assistant and went on to serve him in a variety of positions.

    It seems I am a 12-year-old boy who will snicker at anything.

  111. 111.

    TenguPhule

    @Elie:

    Are we so bad off that we can’t note even this joy in common?

    Yes. Evil should never be allowed any happiness while being allowed to torment others. SATSQ.

  113. 113.

    Steve in the ATL

    @Roger Moore: was there a dollar dance at the wedding?

    (something I had never actually seen until a friend from Kentucky got married)

  114. 114.

    Quinerly

    @TenguPhule:
    Seems so with the family values types. That entire link is worth the read. Know nothing about that blog, but the piece seems well sourced with links. His first wife converted to Judaism for him…changed her name from Jane to Sarah for him. New wife is basically a fundamental Christian, it seems.

  115. 115.

    efgoldman

    @Elie:

    Layering on resentment here too is just too much for me. Bobo is an asshole and I can lay it on him on his column.

    In the abstract, you’re right. But any asshole who preaches morality to the rest of us? Deserves to be slagged, and hard.

  117. 117.

    chromeagnomen

    @Elie: i’m not that bad off, but i wish him nothing but the very worse the world has to offer. his life, and the lives of all republicans, cannot be protracted and painful enough for me. let those fuckers experience hell on earth.

  118. 118.

    TenguPhule

    Over the past year, Gov. Matt Bevin, a Republican who calls himself “unapologetically pro-life,” has blocked a new Planned Parenthood clinic from performing abortions, shuttered E.M.W.’s satellite clinic in Lexington and threatened to close the existing one in Louisville. Backed by the American Civil Liberties Union, the clinic has sued the state; a trial is set for September.

    Via FNYT (no link), Kentucky on cusp of effectively ending legal abortions in the state.

    And Gorsch is on the Supreme Court.

    Handmaid’s Tale is not an instructions manual!

  120. 120.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Elie: He is actively working to make our lives worse by providing “reasonable” cover for the fascists. Fuckem.

  122. 122.

    geg6

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    I’ve got more than a few years until I’m 65 and live in the Pittsburgh area and I remember John Lindsey quite well. One of the last “liberal” Republicans seen in the wild. I think my former senator, John Heinz, was the very last one. He was also the last Republican I ever voted for.

  124. 124.

    Pete Downunder

    @SiubhanDuinne: I meet both requirements. His best line was “I get nervous in the country, breathing air I can’t see”. Basically a decent guy as I recall.

  126. 126.

    planetjanet

    What is it about having a wedding registry for some one of his advanced years and ample means. Registries are for young couple just starting out in life and building a household from nothing.

  128. 128.

    Mary G

    @Quinerly: That whole post is hilarious. She’s as pompous as he is:

    Years ago, I labored to express some heartfelt convictions about the growing class divide in this country, and the process of publicizing some convicted questions around my role as both communicator and citizen has kept me accountable to a rather unconventional professional path, one that is trying to merge doing with describing, serving with storytelling.

  136. 136.

    Elie

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    That may be true… but I also know that at some point, the resentment about ANYTHING — robs us of humanity also. Its too steep a price to pay. I have had to pay a hard price for resentment and not forgiving… This is a very personal thing and I don’t hold others to my awareness. I had to come to it a long way but I know its lack and I can’t live that way…

    Peace

  141. 141.

    Yarrow

    @Quinerly: From one of the articles quoted in your link:

    According to a third source, Brooks has received instruction in the Catholic faith from Arthur Brooks and Ross Douthat, both converts.

    I can’t even think of what to say to that. Just…no…I can’t.

  143. 143.

    TenguPhule

    @Yarrow:

    I can’t even think of what to say to that. Just…no…I can’t.

    Take one twelve year old altar boy……

  147. 147.

    Barbara

    @Elie: Not when we are imposed on year after year about our public and private failure to meet the standards of a guy who, it turns out, throws his wife of 30 years in the ditch as soon as a pretty little flatterer shows up. That she cloaks her life in the mantle of Christ just proves for the eleventy millionth time that these people are frauds who are simply playing at religion and marriage and “values” the way I used to play house and school when I was a little kid. No, I don’t wish them happiness.

  152. 152.

    J R in WV

    @James Powell:

    Remember “where you were when JFK was assassinated” – I was in science class, taught by a ice cold bigot racist who was delighted by the news, and tried hard to suppress his glee. But failed.

    A bald old monster clear back then.

    But he’s dead now, and I’m glad of it.

  153. 153.

    Another Scott

    @schrodingers_cat: I don’t know the details. I wouldn’t be surprised if marriage wasn’t part of it, though.

    16-year old has a kid who in turn has a kid at 16…

    :-/

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  157. 157.

    Barbara

    @Elie: We don’t actually know Brooks personally. We aren’t required to empathize with every famous person’s new life adventure.

  159. 159.

    Steve in the ATL

    @Omnes Omnibus: a hack columnist’s second marriage must vest within 21 years of the death of the first marriage, if it vests at all, plus the gestation period of the Vitamix

    or something like that. I didn’t enjoy that class.

  162. 162.

    KS in MA

    It’s easy to imagine that Mr. Brooks would be happier with someone much younger than himself. Bless his heart.

  165. 165.

    Elie

    @Barbara:

    I thought we were liberals — that is, avoiding the social judgement that we accuse the Christianist and right wing moralists. It is precisely because we don’t know him personally that I reserve a little space. I don’t know. Maybe a whole lot of things. Oh I understand and sympathize about the woman or partner left behind. I know that life happens to us and a lot of us make mistakes and hurt others close to us. I am all over his public career commentary. I am less comfortable judging his personal life. Sure others may like doing that. I don’t. It seems to conflict with other things I value more. I want, like the French — to have that zone of privacy where judgements are more cautious, I guess. Of course, everything has its limits… but I am, as I said, not a fan of social judgements —

  166. 166.

    hitchhiker

    @Gin & Tonic:

    My brother’s wife is 64, and he’s 68. They have multiple great grandchildren because she, her daughters, and her granddaughters all had babies before they turned 18.

    They’re going to be great great grandparents, I think, before I have a grandchild, and I’m almost 65 myself.

  167. 167.

    Juju

    @SiubhanDuinne: if you are a 12 year old boy, so am I. I thought the same thing when I read that sentence. The rest of the article, however, made me want to vomit.

  169. 169.

    Raoul

    On the one hand, I want to have a “c’est la vie” attitude towards inter-generational relationships. And generally I do. But when a hackitudinous professional Moral Scold® marries a woman of an age he could have sired, I want to puke on his shoes.

    Fuck him. And fuck the NY Times, for that matter.

  171. 171.

    Tehanu

    The Better Homes & Gardens cook book? Jeez, I haven’t seen one of those since my mom’s kitchen in the 1960s. She actually registered for that?

  172. 172.

    NorthLeft12

    Reminds me, I saw a FB ad for a NYT subscription which was touting their wide ranging, and incisive points of view on their opinion pages, and how this sparks healthy debate.
    I took a moment to comment on just how odious and ignorant most of their opinion columnists are with special emphasis on the terrible trio of Brooks, Dowd, and Freidman. I don’t count the climate denier as a columnist. He is purely a propo artist.

    BTW I loathe David Brooks and all the awful privilege and detached ignorance that he represents.

  173. 173.

    NorthLeft12

    @EBT:

    The only column by Ross Douthat I can’t wait for is his own obituary. You just know the smug, pompous, sanctimonious piece of shit wrote it himself.

    Thanks for that. Always good to start off the workday with a good laugh.

  174. 174.

    NorthLeft12

    @‘As You Know’ Bob: I had the impression [especially from the priceless Driftglass] that BoBo’s wife gave him the heave ho after discovering Mr. Brooks’ dalliances. He then used about a years worth of his columns alluding to the unfairness of it all, that his beloved wife would terminate their relationship and complicate his perfect life…….oh woe is David!

    He managed to squeeze in a few columns and a book complaining about the lack of morality and sense of responsibility of the working class, and how this was going to destroy his vision of 1950 America.
    Douchebag.

  175. 175.

    Barbara

    @Elie: Well, Elie, what we have is France for David Brooks and Sharia for the rest of us. And for the rest of us to get France, we need to shame the David Brookses of the world so that they admit in public that they are frauds and they really have no business shaming and sermonizing the rest of us for our supposed moral failings, and that much of what they castigate people for as moral failings is usually not much more than bad luck or the failure of society to give a god damn. I don’t know David Brooks but I sure as hell know that he has nothing to teach me about morality and yes, he deserves to be shamed. So I am not going to make myself a clueless dupe and wish him and the female young enough to be his daughter all the best. They already have all the best through no particular virtue or merit of their own.

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