Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Everybody saw this coming.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

“woke” is the new caravan.

I was promised a recession.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Come on, man.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Let’s finish the job.

You are here: Home / Absent Friends / RIP / Rest in Peace, greennotGreen

Rest in Peace, greennotGreen

by | 225 Comments

This post is in: 

Steeplejack flagged an earlier comment from beloved commenter greennotGreen’s valiant sister:

greennotGreen
May 18, 2017 at 1:37 p.m.

I like the title of this open thread [“Open Thread: Bon Voyage!”] for my message. My wonderful, generous, loving sister, greennotGreen, has moved on to the next stage in her journey. I watched and held her hand as she drew her last breath. I had talked to her all morning (about politics, of course). I will sure miss our “daily briefings.”

A few years ago, when I shared the news here that I had lost my mom, greennotGreen left this comment for me:

I’m sorry she departed so young, but what a wonderful legacy she left you! The stories you’ll tell with tears and laughter and eventually only laughter. So she does live on, and I hope you’ll let her live on here on these virtual pages with us, your virtual neighbors. Our thoughts are with you and your family…

greennotGreen also left us too soon, but during the time she was our virtual neighbor, we were fortunate to witness her kindness, compassion, fierceness and humor. Her personality shone brightly, a light behind the pixels, and we’ll miss her.

Our thoughts are with greennotGreen’s sister and niece, who took care of our friend with such love and compassion and were kind enough to keep us informed along the way, and also with greennotGreen’s mom. May greennotGreen’s wonderful legacy comfort her family now.

UPDATE: greennotGreen’s favorite charities were the American Cancer Society, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and the Avielle Foundation, if you’d like to make a donation in her honor.

Reader Interactions

225Comments

  1. 1.

    Nicole

    All my sympathies. May we all be so lucky as to leave this world surrounded by as much love as she was.

  4. 4.

    Elizabelle

    Peace, greennotGreen. Knew this was coming. How lovely of green and her family to keep us informed, and somehow make it easier.

  7. 7.

    Mnemosyne

    In a way, I’m glad I’m at home with the flu when I found this out so I don’t have to explain to my coworkers why I’m crying at my desk about someone I never met and only knew under a pseudonym.

    But the bonds we can form online are real, and I am very sad right now. I’m glad gnG was able to go surrounded by her loving family and that they were strong enough to do home hospice and to let us share their grief in our small way.

  8. 8.

    MisterForkbeard

    As an atheist, I’ve nevertheless always appreciated what my grandmother told me when my fiance died years ago: “God must have needed another angel in heaven.”

    I think the same applies here. Though I imagine gnG would get a kick out of being described as an angel. :)

  9. 9.

    Mary G

    She was smart as a whip, funny, and some people would say I am being silly, crying over somebody I have never met IRL, but I am a bit weepy. She went into the end with grace and dignity and I feel honored that her family chose to keep us informed. I always wonder what happened to some commenters who are regular posters and then just disappear.

    I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
    spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
    for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
    I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
    of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

    Then, someone at my side says, ‘There, she is gone’

    Gone where?

    Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
    hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
    And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

    Her diminished size is in me – not in her.
    And, just at the moment when someone says, ‘There, she is gone,’
    there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
    ready to take up the glad shout, ‘Here she comes!’

    And that is dying…

    Death comes in its own time, in its own way.
    Death is as unique as the individual experiencing it.
    Henry Van Dyke

  10. 10.

    Schlemazel

    That was a sweet remembrance BC, than you. I wish Gng’s friends & family peace, to remember the good times and enjoy they (too short) time they had. Bon Voyage indeed.

  11. 11.

    ? ?? Goku ? ?

    I wish I had been here long enough to get to know her. She sounds like a wonderful person. Rest in piece greennotGreen

  13. 13.

    Cermet

    Like all here – we are so sorry and offer our condolences to you and your family for the loss.

  14. 14.

    satby

    Heartbroken for someone I never met in real life, but felt as if I had. Yes, she and we knew it was coming, but still sad it has finally happened. She was a lovely and well loved person, as evidenced by her devoted sister and family, her pets, and her extended tribe here.

  15. 15.

    PhoenixRising

    Many blessings on her sister and niece. Being with the dying is hard work, best undertaken by humans who know that they too will die someday. Your efforts to give her a good death were touching.

    And now, I’ll be quiet & let the jackals mourn.

  16. 16.

    HRA

    My sincere condolences to her family and friends. May she have eternal peace and rest.

  17. 17.

    Ian G.

    As an atheist who lost his mother too young, all I can say is that all we are is blips on a cosmic timescale, and if we’re good blips, we’ve made things better for all the other blips we encounter over our brief existence.

    It sounds like greennotGreen did what she could for the other blips. RIP.

  19. 19.

    Elizabelle

    Hunting for the thread where green’s sister identified the three charities she’d request we support. Do any of you have the link? Thought I’d saved it … we shall put it up, when found.

  21. 21.

    MazeDancer

    Sending much light and hugs to gnG’s sister, niece, and all the commenters here who “knew” her well. It is continually fascinating how pixels seem to reveal the truth about people over time, not hide it. Those who feel they knew her, did.

    Beautiful post, Anne Laurie. That comment from gnG is so lovely, smart, wise, and comforting. May gnR be at peace.

  23. 23.

    TaMara (HFG)

    As I said in snark about Ailes this morning, but mean in all sincerity for greennotGreen – may her afterlife reflect her legacy here. I know it will be filled with love, laughter, beauty and kindness.

    Condolences to her wonderful family and thank you for keeping us updated throughout and helping her keep in touch with us. Love to all.

  26. 26.

    dexwood

    Rest in peace, green. Deepest appreciation and warm thoughts for her, and her amazing family, who included us during this sad time.

  32. 32.

    khead

    @satby:

    Yeah, this. I missed the original comment about her passing. But that last pic of her with the pets on the bed? That’s how I want to go.

  34. 34.

    satby

    @Major Major Major Major: yes, her regular outfitter took them and there was a conversion planned for the adopter’s car port to make it into an aviary for them. Her dogs all were placed too, though it sounds like they kept the last two to be with gnG until after she was gone.

  35. 35.

    Betty Cracker

    @Elizabelle: I’m on my mobile, so tough to search, but if you or anyone else unearths that info, be so kind as to post it in the thread, and I’ll update the OP.

  36. 36.

    Mnemosyne

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Yes — she found someone who would care for her birds and gnG’s family paid to build a new aviary for them. She also had small dogs and was able to find new homes for all of them, even the two that weren’t quite housebroken.

  37. 37.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Have been, of course, expecting this sad news, but it still comes with a nasty jolt.

    We are all the richer because gnG was, however briefly and peripherally, part of our lives. She brought laughs, and wisdom, and friendship, and at the end she brought grace and beauty. I know I’m a better person because her life and mine intersected.

    My deepest and most loving condolences to the entire notGreen family, all the dogs and birds, and to everyone in her circle of friends. (And I reiterate my message of two or three days ago to gnG’s sister: please stop by occasionally and visit with us and let us know how you’re doing.)

  38. 38.

    Yarrow

    Such a big loss. Condolences to the entire family. We will miss greennotGreen here too. Thank you to gnG and her sister and niece for sharing her and your journey with us. You have all been honest, funny, and real. Allowing us to be part of the journey has been so generous on all of your parts and inspiring to be a part of. Thank you. May she RIP.

  39. 39.

    mai naem mobile

    RIP Greennotgreen. Gone too soon. She really handled all this with a lot of grace and humor. Comfort to her family especially her sister and niece who are really so thoughtful and kind.

  40. 40.

    stinger

    My deepest condolences. gnG, go with the sun before you and the wind behind you.

  41. 41.

    Elizabelle

    @Mnemosyne: Yes! Thank you! Great help.

    Here’s the thread with green’s beautiful living room, all sun and artwork and greenery outdoors. She’s got a good comment up at 75.

    greennotGreen
    May 9, 2017 at 9:44 am
    @greennotGreen: (gnG’s sister typing)

    We regularly attended a mainstream Protestant church and I paid attention which meant that years later when I rejected most of the stricter tenets I held onto

    I retained that we should be kind to each other and take care of each other. And I hope that this community will remember that there are people who have not had the fortune to grow up in a comfortable home and to be, as I am, surrounded by family and friends. That BJ may be most, if not all, that they have, and that we should show them kindness and support.

  45. 45.

    Elizabelle

    @Mnemosyne: That is so recent, the discussion about funding caring for the birds. It went so quickly for greennotGreen.

  48. 48.

    sharl

    RIP greennotGreen. And much love and respect to her sister and niece, and all others who were there for her until the end.

  49. 49.

    Boussinesque

    Thank you for sharing her journey with us, and condolences for your loss. I can imagine no better way to take leave of this life than being surrounded by those who love you. Rest in peace, gnG.

  50. 50.

    Yarrow

    Found this:

    greennotGreen
    May 12, 2017 at 4:28 pm
    @Elizabelle: (gnG’s sister writing) gnG wanted me to say that, while she wished she had had more time here, she is not bitter about the inability of her doctors to save her. It’s been hard to find a cure because cancer actually encompasses a wide range of diseases, and one approach doesn’t fit all. For her memorial, she has instead suggested donations to three different causes, only one is cancer (American Cancer Society). The others are Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (because of her nephew) and the Avielle Foundation (because her very good friends lost a daughter, Avielle, at Sandy Hook). As throughout her life, and approaching her death, her first thought is of others.

  52. 52.

    cckids

    Be at peace, Green, and all your family as well. I don’t remember if you & yours followed any particular faith, but in any case, the Physicist’s Eulogy is, to me, supremely comforting.

    You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

    And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

    And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

    And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly.

    Amen

  54. 54.

    Elizabelle

    All right.

    American Cancer Society.

    Cystic Fibrosis Foundation

    Avielle Foundation. (Looking that up now…)

    Let’s go to it! Week of fundraising, in honor of brave green and her marvelous family.

  55. 55.

    satby

    @SiubhanDuinne: I second that message to greennotGreen’s sister to please pop in and let us know how you and the family are doing. Or just to join in the regular flow of conversation if the mood stikes.

  56. 56.

    EthylEster

    Betty Cracker, you are a gifted writer.
    I cannot adequately express how much I appreciate and enjoy your efforts here at B-J.

  57. 57.

    Emma

    Even though it was expected, it’s still a blow. I admired her courage so much.

    Cowards die many times before their deaths;
    The valiant never taste of death but once.
    Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
    It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
    Seeing that death, a necessary end,
    Will come when it will come.
    William Shakespeare, “Julius Caesar”, Act 2 scene 2

  58. 58.

    Tom Levenson

    @cckids: Lucretius said something similar. It is both cold and comfort, whether in its ancient or modern version.

  61. 61.

    hedgehog the occasional commenter

    Rest in power, gnG, and peace to your loving family.

  63. 63.

    Yarrow

    @satby: Those are from Act Blue for donations for candidates. I don’t think we could use them for these donations.

  69. 69.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Elizabelle:

    Here.

    greennotGreen
    May 12, 2017 at 4:28 pm
    @Elizabelle: (gnG’s sister writing) gnG wanted me to say that, while she wished she had had more time here, she is not bitter about the inability of her doctors to save her. It’s been hard to find a cure because cancer actually encompasses a wide range of diseases, and one approach doesn’t fit all. For her memorial, she has instead suggested donations to three different causes, only one is cancer (American Cancer Society). The others are Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (because of her nephew) and the Avielle Foundation (because her very good friends lost a daughter, Avielle, at Sandy Hook). As throughout her life, and approaching her death, her first thought is of others.

  70. 70.

    Mnemosyne

    @Elizabelle:

    For my older brother who died of cancer, it was about 6-1/2 months from the first diagnosis of stage III-B lung cancer to his death. It can go that fast sometimes.

  71. 71.

    raven

    For gng’s from Biden

    There will come a day, I promise you, and you parents as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen. […]

  72. 72.

    H.E.Wolf

    “Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still.”
    -William Penn

    Sending love to gnG’s family, and to gnG.

  73. 73.

    Elizabelle

    @Yarrow: Maybe we could make up our own little thermometer. (“We” not including me on that — no skills there …)

    From the Avielle Foundation website info: just to familiarize ourselves with their work:

    The Mission of the Avielle Foundation is to prevent violence and build compassion through neuroscience research, community engagement, and education. The Foundation will do so by directing resources to support:

    * Breakthrough neuroscience research, bridging behavioral and biochemical sciences, and making the neurosciences a prestigious and lucrative life endeavor.

    * Community engagement and education initiatives that empower youth, parents, teachers, health care providers, and law enforcement – the everyday citizen – to advocate for brain health in themselves and others.

    Avielle Rose Richman was, at the time, our only daughter and one of 26 children and educators tragically murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT on December 14, 2012. My wife Jennifer and I are infinitely heart broken. In the three years since the murder of our beautiful six year old daughter our heartbreak has been repeated with over 140 school shootings in the United States, not to mention the daily occurrences of homicide and suicide on our streets and in our homes. Violence, in its myriad forms, is an epidemic that plagues our country. We miss Avielle more every day, and like so many of you, we want to bring about changes to stop this epidemic of violence. We want to prevent tragedies like these from happening to any community — ever again.

    The Avielle Foundation has been created in honor of our loving daughter — along with all the others who fall victim to violence — to foster an understanding of what leads someone to engage in harmful behavior, the risk factors, and conversely to identify and engender protective factors that lead away from violence and toward compassion, kindness, connection and community. We’re working closely with world leaders in two vital areas: Brain health research and community building.

  74. 74.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @satby:

    Every day is someone’s birthday, and every day is someone’s deathday. I hope your birthday, despite this sad news, has been a good one for you.

    I am having fun trying to imagine the conversation gnG and Roger Ailes are having in Saint Peter’s waiting room right about now. My money’s on gnG.

  75. 75.

    raven

    @Mnemosyne: My former boss has been fighting for 8 or 9 years. The other day she said she didn’t think it would happen so fast.

  76. 76.

    Rob Lll

    Rip gng and hugs to her wonderful family. Thank you so much for sharing her journey with us.

  77. 77.

    Elizabelle

    I hope green outlived that bastard Roger Ailes. And that, somehow, she knows.

    If there is an afterlife, their paths will not be crossing.

  78. 78.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    @Mary G:

    Thank you for posting that, Mary G. Has a bit of Gandalf’s far green shores sense to it.

    And we thank the cosmos for gnG’s presence in this world. She made it a little brighter.

  80. 80.

    TriassicSands

    My sincere condolences to all those who were touched by gnG in life and now in death.

  81. 81.

    MomSense

    Oh greennotGreen we will miss you and remember you with love. Niece, sister, mom, and brother I hope you can take some comfort in the love and service you gave to your sister to her last. We are so grateful to all of you for including us in this journey. Sending love and the biggest hugs to all of you.

    Hope you may stop by now and then (or all the time!) so we can catch up on your news.

  82. 82.

    Geeno

    This is sad. I’ve been part of this community since John was a Bush voter, and have watched, and frequently participated as it became a community.
    Jackals have feelings, too.
    And a special thank you to her family who didn’t need to do jack for a bunch of strangers during her last days – and one of the hardest times of their lives, but eased things for us as well by keeping us informed.
    RIP gnG, you’ll be missed.

  83. 83.

    feebog

    Condolences to gnG’s family and also thanks for their loving care at the end. Peace and good thoughts to everyone in this weird little community.

  84. 84.

    SiubhanDuinne

    All these lovely metaphors for dying, and very comforting they are.

    I am trying, and so far failing, to find a quotation from Rabindranath Tagore, something about turning the light off/on. It was one of my grandmother’s favourites, and it annoys me that I can’t track it down easily.

  86. 86.

    satby

    @SiubhanDuinne: sadness at the passing, gratitude for the gift of virtually knowing, and relief at the end of suffering for her.

    And if there is a God, gnG rode the express straight up, and Ailes rose it straight down, and never crossed paths at all. Though she coulda kicked his ass!

  88. 88.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    @cckids:

    Thank you for that touching and cosmically moving passage! Most excellent.

  89. 89.

    Mnemosyne

    @Elizabelle:

    If there is an afterlife, their paths will not be crossing.

    I like the idea of an afterlife where she’s allowed to give him an atomic wedgie before he heads off to Hell, but we all have our own views of the afterlife. ?

  90. 90.

    NotoriousJRT

    Sorrow for the loss for humanity and my condolences for the sorrow of gnG’s family,

  91. 91.

    Elizabelle

    I think FYWP ate my earlier blurb, from the Avielle Foundation website:

    The Mission of the Avielle Foundation is to prevent violence and build compassion through neuroscience research, community engagement, and education. The Foundation will do so by directing resources to support:

    * Breakthrough neuroscience research, bridging behavioral and biochemical sciences, and making the neurosciences a prestigious and lucrative life endeavor.

    * Community engagement and education initiatives that empower youth, parents, teachers, health care providers, and law enforcement – the everyday citizen – to advocate for brain health in themselves and others.

    Avielle Rose Richman was, at the time, our only daughter and one of 26 children and educators tragically murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT on December 14, 2012. My wife Jennifer and I are infinitely heart broken. In the three years since the murder of our beautiful six year old daughter our heartbreak has been repeated with over 140 school shootings in the United States, not to mention the daily occurrences of homicide and suicide on our streets and in our homes. Violence, in its myriad forms, is an epidemic that plagues our country. We miss Avielle more every day, and like so many of you, we want to bring about changes to stop this epidemic of violence. We want to prevent tragedies like these from happening to any community — ever again.

    The Avielle Foundation has been created in honor of our loving daughter — along with all the others who fall victim to violence — to foster an understanding of what leads someone to engage in harmful behavior, the risk factors, and conversely to identify and engender protective factors that lead away from violence and toward compassion, kindness, connection and community. We’re working closely with world leaders in two vital areas: Brain health research and community building.

  92. 92.

    Fair Economist

    We will miss her; I know far less than you. My condolences – and also my gratitude for giving us a little glimpse of a wonderful family.

  94. 94.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @stinger:

    go with the sun before you and the wind behind you.

    Lovely. Sounds Irish. Brought on a fresh attack of waterworks.

  95. 95.

    Elizabelle

    I would love if green’s family would share the obituary or memorial information. Would love to put a name and face to our jackal friend. And would help in directing our contributions, in memory of her.

    If they prefer privacy, that is cool too.

  96. 96.

    Patricia Kayden

    So sorry to hear of greennotGreen’s passing. My condolences to her family and loved ones. May she R.I.P.

  99. 99.

    Miss Bianca

    Ohh, Yes, RIP, gnG. Glad it’s only a few minutes till I leave work and I’m alone in the office, cuz I’m feeling a bit weepy right now.

  100. 100.

    Elizabelle

    FYWP ate two posts where I copied out info on what the Avielle Foundation does. Not sure why it triggered. If the posts can be found, great, if not, just look up the link.

  102. 102.

    Gelfling 545

    Wishing peace for all who knew her. She has found her peace. And though the body ends, the love does not.

  104. 104.

    Steeplejack

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    “Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”

    – Rabindranath Tagore

  111. 111.

    hitchhiker

    Oh, to be sure that leaving this world could happen with someone who loves you so much right there, patiently holding your hand and providing appropriate political commentary.

    gnG sista, thanks for showing us that it does happen. My sincere condolences on what is obviously a wrenching loss.

  112. 112.

    trollhattan

    Very sorry to learn of gnG’s passing. Her struggles are over and her spirit lives on among those who love her and those she touched in some way. Kindest regards to the family, you did well by her ’til the very end. May we all be so fortunate.

  115. 115.

    JGabriel

    All my condolences and sympathies to greennotGreen’s family and friends. She was a warm, treasured, member of our community and we, like you, will miss her.

  116. 116.

    ruemara

    I knew it was going to be soon, but even then, it’s too soon. My heart goes out to gnG’s family and friends.

  118. 118.

    hovercraft

    Rest in peace greennotGreen, and to your wonderful family my deepest condolences. This motley crew of curmudgeons, misfits and shutins was truly blessed to have gnG as part of our community, thank you for sharing this final journey with your sister and aunt with all of us, she will be missed.

  119. 119.

    Steeplejack

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Just one. Course, it could be a bottomless margarita or some such . . .

    My search fu has really been on lately; I’m just rolling with it.

  120. 120.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Elizabelle:

    I also asked for that a few days ago — ONLY if gnG’s family is comfortable with what might be seen as a breach of privacy. Selfishly, I’d like to know about gnG in real life. I adore obituaries :-)

    Although if three charities suddenly get an influx of donations “in loving memory of greennotGreen,” that’s kind of a pretty thought too.

  122. 122.

    eclare

    My sympathies to your sister, niece, and mom. Thank you, gnG, for sharing your time with us. We are richer for it.

  123. 123.

    Spanky

    I’m never very articulate, but times like these always leave me searching for words.

    I recall her saying a week or more ago that she was ready. It’s painfully hard watching your sister or aunt slip slowly away, so to GnG’s family I’ll just say how sorry I am for you, and tell you that you did good by her. Really good. You’ll remember the happier times much more than these last weeks, and smile.

  124. 124.

    ?eric

    we come here to vent, we stay for the connections. it is a connection we have lost, but remain the richer.

  125. 125.

    Tazj

    Rest in peace greennotGreen. To her family-I’m so sorry for your loss. I loved seeing her beautiful house, her artwork and her cute little dogs.

  126. 126.

    a thousand flouncing lurkers (was fidelio)

    We are the poorer for her death, although I know it was a release from a great deal of suffering.

  128. 128.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Peace to you, may fond memories of her live on in the hearts of those that knew her. RIP greennotGreen.

  129. 129.

    Yarrow

    @SiubhanDuinne: Perhaps someone who knows who gnG is could alert the charities that donations in the name of “greennotGreen” are actually in honor of [Her Real Name] so the family could be notified. Not necessarily immediate family because they’re probably really busy, but there is often someone who really wants to help and doesn’t know how. This might be a way. Just offering the suggestion in case it and it could help.

  130. 130.

    PaulW

    greennotGreen:

    She says, “I am content when wakened birds,
    Before they fly, test the reality
    Of misty fields, by their sweet questionings;
    But when the birds are gone, and their warm fields
    Return no more, where, then, is paradise?”
    There is not any haunt of prophecy,
    Nor any old chimera of the grave,
    Neither the golden underground, nor isle
    Melodious, where spirits gat them home,
    Nor visionary south, nor cloudy palm
    Remote on heaven’s hill, that has endured
    As April’s green endures; or will endure
    Like her remembrance of awakened birds,
    Or her desire for June and evening, tipped
    By the consummation of the swallow’s wings.
    — “Sunday Morning” by Wallace Stevens

  132. 132.

    JPL

    @Elizabelle: That’s the page I bookmarked and think I’ll donate to. I remember her writing about her friends. I think I’ll donate it to green. It seems fitting.
    rip green

  134. 134.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    She will be very much missed, here as no doubt in 3D. My condolences to her sister and niece who made her last days so filled with love.

  135. 135.

    p.a.

    Deepest sympathy to her family and friends. We are lessened here. Does anyone know a backstory to her screen name? I don’t, just curious. Never thought to ask…

  136. 136.

    randy khan

    Other people have said it better (and well before me), but she will be missed, and condolences to her family and loved ones (including those here at BJ).

  137. 137.

    gbbalto

    My deepest condolences to gnG’s loving family. Thank you so much for taking the time and trouble during such a sorrowful time to let us know how she was doing. I so admire her courage and wit while she took her final journey on Earth.

  138. 138.

    Zoey2020

    I only discovered greennotgreen as she was dying. But hers was a remarkable death. As was Walter’s, when his time came. This is a remarkable place. A few disheveled souls and a huge amount of caring, witnessed by thousands who rarely say a word. For greennotgreen’s family, I will: thank you for sharing, so generously and publicly a journey that we all take, when our time comes. I will carry that great last place of hers: those windows, that light, your love, for all of the rest of my life.

  141. 141.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I don’t know whether anyone here is interested, but I felt the need to share gnG with a wider audience, so I just posted this on my Facebook page:

    I lost a dear friend today.

    I never met her in person, and I have no idea what her actual name was, nor her age, nor where she lived.

    She was one of the miracles of the Internet — a virtual friend, at the end as close as any family member, who generously shared her final days with a random group of commenters on a blog.

    While she still could, she typed her own comments, and let us know how she was dealing with pain, and what steps she was taking to mitigate her pain.

    When she was too weak to comment directly, she dictated to her sister, who dutifully and faithfully forwarded the thoughts of the day.

    And when she was beyond saying more than four or five words at a stretch, her sister (or niece, or nephew) would step in and report to the blog group. Today, the report was the one we have all known was coming but still dreaded.

    The internet is responsible for a lot of awfulness, as we all know. But it is also capable of bringing joy, love, gratitude, and an extraordinary sense of community.

    I lift my glass tonight, and send my deep love and appreciation, to the virtual friend I knew only as “greennotGreen.” RIP, dear gnG.

    I’m quite amazed already at the number of likes and tears and sympathetic comments from people to whom gnG is an acquaintance thrice removed. But that’s the Internet for you.

  142. 142.

    WaterGirl

    When I saw the title of the Bon Voyage thread my first thought wast to wonder if it was news about greennotGreen.

    Betty, I remembered that comment from when your mom died, though I hadn’t remembered who had written it. Such a lovely comment, such a lovely person.

    Goodbye greennotGreen, you were well-loved, and I’m not sure there’s anything more important legacy than that.

  143. 143.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @p.a.:

    I asked a week or two ago. My speculation, and it is only that, is that she practiced green behaviour (recycling, composting, sustainable practices, etc.) but didn’t feel much of an affinity to the Green Party (or even the Green movement). But as I say, it’s only a guess and could be something wildly different.

    I hope gnG’s family may check in when they are ready and let us know the backstory and a bit more about their dearly-loved relative.

  145. 145.

    JPL

    Green’s family was so gracious to update us, and I hope they realize how we appreciate the love they gave her. Watching a love one die is never easy, but to take the time to post with updates, takes a special family. Thank you for caring for our friend.

  146. 146.

    Suzanne

    Goodbye and Godspeed to a much-loved and valued member of this weird little community. I hope she is no longer suffering, is at peace, and that her family and friends (both real and virtual) can find comfort in this difficult time. Hugs and white light.

  147. 147.

    Old Broad in California

    Condolences and peace to greennotGreen’s family. I’m an infrequent poster but read here almost every day and have been following the journey with respect and sadness.

  148. 148.

    Ab_Normal

    @MisterForkbeard:

    As an atheist, I’ve nevertheless always appreciated what my grandmother told me when my fiance died years ago: “God must have needed another angel in heaven.”

    I think the same applies here. Though I imagine gnG would get a kick out of being described as an angel. :)

    Also an atheist: somebody said that about my mom after she passed, to which I replied, “Great, heaven now has a tiny cranky Scottish angel in charge of flicking recalcitrant children in the ear.” :D

    I’d like to think that gnG is the angel in charge of beautiful painful truths.

  149. 149.

    Wolvesvalley

    @SiubhanDuinne: I was feeling sad at this news, but now I’m really crying. You have such a gift for words, Siubhan. Godspeed to greennotGreen.

  150. 150.

    sacrablue

    Condolences to greenotGreen’s family and friends. I haven’t commented but I’ve been following her journey and so admire her courage and grace as well as her family’s kindness and willingness to update us, her virtual family. I will miss her.

  151. 151.

    Ajabu

    Years ago someone told me that nobody is really gone as long as you mention their name. You keep them here forever.
    And so: to my dear friends Craig Herndon. Doug Lunn, Joachim Young, Melvin Webb, Freddie Hubbard, Junior Cook, Don Alias, Bobby Martin, David Moors, Benny Powell, Marilynn Desmond, Beth Deare, Joyce Carol Thomas, Ed Williams, Adrienne Bonner, Josephine Dial, Flip Wilson and too many others to mention in this short comment I add green not Green. Never forgotten – never gone.
    ,

  153. 153.

    gammyjill

    My older sister, who died of cancer in 2008 right before the election, was born 70 years ago today. Strange that strong Democrats – which I assume gnG was – have a share of May 18th. I always hoped my sister was looking down and saw Obama’s victory. She’d have been so happy. As would my father, a lifelong Democrat, who died the year before…

  156. 156.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @gammyjill:

    My paternal grandmother was born 128 years ago today, and one of my dearest friends also has a birthday today (73). I think both of them would have voted/did vote for Hillary, and Obama too. Never discussed politics with either of them, now I come to think of it. My sense is that both were/are fairly conservative but not wacko.

  160. 160.

    Shana

    @Elizabelle: I agree, it would be nice to have a real name to attach to any donations. although I suppose we could make them in memory of “GreenNotGreen of Balloon Juice”.

  162. 162.

    Scamp Dog

    RIP, greennotGreen.

    Thanks to sister and niece for taking care of her, and keeping us updated.

  165. 165.

    Immanentize

    @JPL: Me personally!? Thanks for asking.
    Exhaustion, rage , sadness, boredom. Love. Understanding, hope concern humility.
    Did I mention love?
    Spiritual, habitual, physical or profane — I recommend it!

    Eta — actually no drugs or drinking. Go figure?

  167. 167.

    Riley's Enabler

    I am sorry to see the news and send heartfelt condolences to greennotGreen’s family. Thank you for sharing her and yourselves with us and for letting us know of the end of her journey. Sending love and light to you all.

  172. 172.

    the Conster, la Citoyenne

    Oh! Just checking in to see that today was the day! Blessings to all who kept vigil here and there with her – there is a relief to be unburdened from the struggle in this realm when the body can no longer serve us. May we all have such a passing! She’s with General Stuck now, laughing at us and our funny little group of misfits that gather here.

    “If the baby in the darkness of its mother’s womb were told: “Outside there is a world of life , with high mountains, great seas, undulating planes, beautiful gardens in blossom, a sky full of stars, and a blazing sun … And you, facing all these marvels, stay enclosed in this darkness …” The unborn child, knowing nothing about these marvels, would not believe any of these. Like us, when we are facing death. That’s why we’re afraid.

    – But there can’t be light in death because it‘s the end of everything.

    – How can death be end of something that doesn’t have a beginning? Hassan, my son, don’t be sad at my wedding night.

    – Your wedding night?

    – Yes. My marriage with eternity.”

    -Bab ‘Aziz

  173. 173.

    burnspbesq

    The bonds we form are no less real for being constructed out of pixels.

    Will miss her. A lot.

    Condolences and best wishes to the family.

  174. 174.

    ArchTeryx

    I’m very sorry to hear this, expected news or not, it hurts nonetheless. It too much reminds me of Manfred’s passing.

    Rest in peace, Greennotgreen. You will be missed here.

  176. 176.

    debit

    I’ll miss greennotGreen’s gentle presence here. Condolences to her family and loved ones and us.

  178. 178.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @the Conster, la Citoyenne:

    She’s with General Stuck now,

    Yes! I was thinking much the same, and picturing Tunch and Walter (among many other four-legged BJ denizens) wandering up for scritches and ear rubs from gnG and Stuck.

    The heavenly green balloon BJ meetups in the Great Beyond must be quite the experiences! I would say “I can hardly wait,” except, of course, I can. But the cast of characters is quite something.

  179. 179.

    Lizzy L

    Sympathy to family and friends; ave to greennotGreen, who has stepped into that cottage of darkness. May there be light beyond it, for her and all of us.

  180. 180.

    Elie

    Rest In Peace. The love you had in your life will never die. It is part of eternity as is the love others had for you

  181. 181.

    schrodingers_cat

    Tribute to Gng.
    Gandhi’s favorite bhajan written by 13th century Gujarati poet, Narsi Mehta.
    Vaishnav Jan ( Vishnu’s person, God’s person), sung by one of the leading exponents of Hindustani Classical Music, Rashid Khan* accompanied on the sitar by Parvez Khan*

    Who can be described a Vaishnav?
    One who understands another’s suffering
    Who does good deeds but does not expect to be feted for them.

    I have posted this before, Sarah P and T even FPed it, I think.
    *Both Muslims, singing the gist of Geeta from the Mahabharata.

  183. 183.

    Josie

    @raven: You posted that for me once and I loved it. It is so true. I wish peace and love for gng’s family and for all of us who are hurting for whatever reason.

  185. 185.

    IlYaCell

    FROM far, from eve and morning
    And yon twelve-winded sky,
    The stuff of life to knit me
    Blew hither: here am I.

    Now—for a breath I tarry
    Nor yet disperse apart—
    Take my hand quick and tell me,
    What have you in your heart.

    Speak now, and I will answer;
    How shall I help you, say;
    Ere to the wind’s twelve quarters
    I take my endless way.

    A E Housman

    To gnG, your family, your friends, our vigil has come to its natural end–may we all be touched as you take your endless way

  186. 186.

    debbie

    “What are you trying to say?”

    All men have the stars,” he answered, “but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they are wealth. But all these stars are silent. You – only you – will have stars that can laugh!”

    And he laughed again.

    And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure… And your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, “Yes, the stars always makes me laugh!” And they will think you are crazy. It will be a very shabby trick that I shall have played on you…”

    And he laughed again.

    It will be as if, in place of the stars, I have given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh…”

    And he laughed again.”

    ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

  187. 187.

    lurker dean

    peace to you, gnG, and condolences to your family who so kindly kept us up to date on your journey.

  188. 188.

    Duane

    I suppose we all knew this was going to happen. Still, very sad. Comfort and peace to family and friends.

  191. 191.

    J R in WV

    @Mnemosyne:

    My cousin Lou, who was the first member of my generation in my family to die, it was around 90 days from diagnosis to death. Esophageal cancer was really quick, fortunately he didn’t seem to suffer much pain. Another cousin, my youngest cousin and I drove up to visit.

    Lou told me he didn’t regret anything he had ever done, he regretted the things he had never done. I retired the next December, 4 days after I became eligible. In order to do the things I would regret never doing or seeing. He was a great guy, with wise advice. Don’t waste time.

    gnG, RIP, We will miss you.

    And for gnG’s family – please do hang around here from time to time. Put her nym into your nym, all you have to do is type it. One of the front page folks will approve you and you will be in business with us. Or just use her’s, no one will mind a bit, quite the opposite.

  193. 193.

    Central Planning

    What everyone else said – a weird feeling to be sad about someone i hadn’t met IRL.

  194. 194.

    columbusqueen

    Much love and hugs to gnG’s family. May her journey into the West be filled with light, joy, and peace.

  195. 195.

    gene108

    greennotGreen was an inspiration to me. Her “fuck cancer” attitude really did motivate me to try to live my life to the fullest, as best as I am able, despite trudging along towards end stage renal disease (i.e. kidney failure*).

    If her family is reading this, please know her comments really did touch me in a profound and helpful way.

    Thank you for your example greennotGreen, you really did make my life better..

    * Between dialysis and eventual kidney transplant, should be manageable.

  196. 196.

    Gemina13

    Peace be on you, greennotGreen. May your way be easy, and may it lead you where you want to go.

    To her family: She was a wonderful woman, with a brave and generous heart. I am deeply sorry for your loss.

  198. 198.

    Another Scott

    Condolences to her family and friends. She was a wonderful voice here and we’ll miss her.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  201. 201.

    Drunkenhausfrau

    What Debit said. Sorry for the loss … but grateful for this community.

    +1 (toasting greennotgreen)

  202. 202.

    5x5

    Goodbye, greennotGreen. Thank you and your sister.

    I only know you from BJ, but what you said here made a difference to me.

    Peace.

  204. 204.

    Baquist

    Deep sympathy to greennotGreen’s family and the Balloon Juice community. We will miss her here but at least she is at peace now.

  205. 205.

    Amir Khalid

    Late ro this thread. The words have all been said, by others more eloquent than I. But I too hold greennotGreen’s soul in the light, and pray for her family to find peace and strength through these times.

  206. 206.

    SFBayAreaGal

    To greennotGreen family, my condolences for your loss of your beloved. I hope greennotGreen sister you stop by and let us know how you are doing. Please take care.

  207. 207.

    KS in MA

    @p.a.: May peace be with greennotGreen and with her family.

    Her nym always reminded me of what’s supposed to be a famous Zen quotation: “The flower is not red, nor is the willow green.” (Don’t ask me to explain that, but I’ve always loved it.)

  209. 209.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @gene108:

    I wish you well, and I hope you will keep all us here at Jackal Central informed. Let us know how and when we can help.

  213. 213.

    CaseyL

    The warmth and humor, not only from greennotGreen but her RL family, is something I want to remember and emulate when my time comes.

    greennotGreen was and is a bright, bright soul; the kind of person who makes me hope there is a “next stage” for them.

  214. 214.

    LookingForACanadian

    I’ll never forget the moment I read her comment soon after she found out. Heartbreaking. Peace and love to her family and friends.

  217. 217.

    stinger

    We who stand before the door are afraid to open it, because it seems through the single small pane that darkness lies beyond.

    But one who opens the door sees that it is not dark, but only dim. Take a step forward, and the way turns sharply. Another step, perhaps two, and the light beyond the turn grows bright, and joyous, and welcoming, and is full of fragrance and birdsong.

    Peace to the family of greennotGreen and to all who suffer loss.

  218. 218.

    seaboogie

    I have appreciated gnG’s presence here, and that of her sister in sharing the most profound of life’s experiences with honesty and humor and much grace.

    I am reminded of the venerable Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Han’s speaking on the notion of “no birth, no death, only transformation”. He likens birth and death to a cloud…once water in the ocean, then a cloud in the sky – constantly changing shape until it becomes the rain that brings life to the seeds of plants waiting for their moment to arise and subside, and often nourishing the life in our bodies.

    GnG arose from her ancestors, and grew and flourished in love and grace with her generous and feisty spirit. In her physical subsidence, she leaves us with warm memories of her, her family, and has made it possible for us to gather here to share her story and our own stories of love and loss, planting a seed of shared humanity in all of us that may take effect in our daily lives and reach down through our generations.

    A toast to you, greennotGreen – I raise this glass of wine to you, and will light some candles and incense tonight in appreciation of your lovely spirit that you shared with us here. Namaste.

  219. 219.

    TEL

    So many lovely words have been written in this thread regarding gnG, which I believe is a testament to how deeply she touched so many of our lives. My deepest condolences to gnG’s loved ones. She will be missed.

  220. 220.

    Elizabelle

    Woke up thinking of beautiful greennotGreen. She’s with Chris Cornell, who stepped off this mortal coil within the same hours.

    Thinking of her family, how tired they are, and relieved that green is no longer in pain. And green seems to have been a loving presence, so they will be thinking of her with smiles (a la advice from Joe Biden) way soon.

    Wishing that family an incredible wake and funeral. Wine all around!

  221. 221.

    O. Felix Culpa

    Just waking up in Spain to the news. I shall walk the Camino in gnG’s honor.

  224. 224.

    martian

    Goodbye, greennotGreen. Off to find greener grass and explore peaceful valleys, I hope. Peace and condolences to greennotGreen’s family. Thank you for your strength and kindness in allowing greennotGreen’s wide circle of admirers to stay connected as she travelled this part of her path. I am so sorry for your loss.

  225. 225.

    c u n d gulag

    My sincerest condolences go out to all of her family, and her many, many friends.

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