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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Have your people call my people

Have your people call my people

by David Anderson|  May 30, 201710:13 pm| 168 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Bring On The Meteor, Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated?

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BREAKING: President Trump has been urging world leaders to call him on his cellphone, raising security and secrecy concerns.

— AP Politics (@AP_Politics) May 31, 2017

Who needs briefings, procedures or security more sophisticated than what a typical Millenial has in their pocket?

I am split on my response below the fold….

Open thread

Or

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Previous Post: « Santa Fe Meetup?
Next Post: Let’s All Get Together And Covfefe Together »

Reader Interactions

168Comments

  1. 1.

    dmsilev

    May 30, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    Look on the bright side. Maybe one of those IRS scammers will get that number, call him up, and we’ll finally get his tax returns via a roundabout route.

    Or, remember the time during the 2008 campaign when a couple of comedians called up Sarah Palin pretending to be the PM of Canada? Fun times.

  2. 2.

    dm

    May 30, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    @dmsilev: Or the fellow who called up Scott Walker, pretending to be David Koch?

  3. 3.

    EBT

    May 30, 2017 at 10:28 pm

    Isn’t this an obvious attempt to circumvent federal records acts?

  4. 4.

    different-church-lady

    May 30, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    “SAY EMAILS AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DARE YOU!”

  5. 5.

    p.a.

    May 30, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    His ‘budget’ will be balanced by a Nigerian prince’s money.

  6. 6.

    lollipopguild

    May 30, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    Idiotus Maximus.

  7. 7.

    hellslittlestangel

    May 30, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    Any truth to the rumor he texted Theresa May, “U up?”

  8. 8.

    Morzer

    May 30, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/31/nordic-prime-ministers-troll-trumps-viral-orb-photograph

    World leaders don’t generally troll each other, but the prime ministers of the five Nordic countries are giving it a shot.

    They just posted a photograph of themselves clasping a soccer ball – echoing a photo of US President Donald Trump, Saudi King Salman and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi holding a glowing orb that went viral last week.

    That orb was an illuminated globe at the Global Centre for Combating Extremist Ideology in Riyadh, the opening of which the three leaders were attending on 21 May. Eerie lighting gave the photo an aura of comic-book villains plotting world domination, an image that proved irresistible to the Twitterati .

    And, apparently, it was just as irresistible to Lars Lokke Rasmussen, Juha Sipila, Bjarni Benediktsson, Erna Solberg and Stefan Lofven, the prime ministers of Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden respectively.

  9. 9.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    @EBT:

    Isn’t this an obvious attempt to circumvent federal records acts?

    It may be a side benefit, but Vermilion Vermin doesn’t plan like that.
    Most likely, he wants to be able to brag that he can talk to all these powerful people whenever *he* wants. Some of it, also, I suspect is noblesse oblige, even though he hasn’t got the faintest idea what that is.

  10. 10.

    randy khan

    May 30, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    @Morzer:

    What’s remarkable about this is that they obviously don’t think there will be any repercussions that they should worry about.

  11. 11.

    Mary G

    May 30, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    Looks like (The Hill) CBS just fired Scott Pelley from the evening news while he was out of town on an assignment. Sad!

  12. 12.

    Sandia Blanca

    May 30, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    I’m pretty sure the Intelligence Community will appreciate having the open lines to surveil.

  13. 13.

    Mnemosyne

    May 30, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Since this is an open thread, we’ve been dealing with some puzzling symptoms in one of our cats. It’s looking like it’s either IBD (inflammatory bowel disease, the kitty equivalent of Crohn’s) or lymphosarcoma because they can’t figure out what else it could be, but we have to take her to a dermatologist (!) to find out. And, of course, that’s a separate specialty from what the Animal Speciality Group does, so now I have to call a THIRD vet to make an appointment. Argh!

    Good news is, they’ve ruled out a digestive tumor because they’ve done both an x-ray and an ultrasound and both were clear. Bad news is, they still don’t know what the problem is.

  14. 14.

    germy

    May 30, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    The American buffoon’s commands were disobeyed, his secrets leaked at such a rate his office resembled the fountains at Versailles or maybe just a sieve (this spring there was an extraordinary piece in the Washington Post with thirty anonymous sources), his agenda was undermined even by a minority party that was not supposed to have much in the way of power, the judiciary kept suspending his executive orders, and scandals erupted like boils and sores. Instead of the dictator of the little demimondes of beauty pageants, casinos, luxury condominiums, fake universities offering fake educations with real debt, fake reality tv in which he was master of the fake fate of others, an arbiter of all worth and meaning, he became fortune’s fool.

    He is, as of this writing, the most mocked man in the world. After the women’s march on January 21st, people joked that he had been rejected by more women in one day than any man in history; he was mocked in newspapers, on television, in cartoons, was the butt of a million jokes, and his every tweet was instantly met with an onslaught of attacks and insults by ordinary citizens gleeful to be able to speak sharp truth to bloated power.

    THE LONELINESS OF DONALD TRUMP [Rebecca Solnit/Lithub]

  15. 15.

    hovercraft

    May 30, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    You used to call me on my cell phone,
    Late at night when you need my love……..

    The man is stoopid. No I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, really! The reason calls with foreign leaders are set up with protocol and experts on the country and briefings in advance is to avoid creating problems with our friends and even our adversaries. I know he’s been told all this, but he’s so desperate to pull off a deal, any deal that shows everyone just how great a dealmaker he is that he’s ignoring this shows that he can’t get it through his head that he’s the FUCKING PRESIDENT of the United States of America, not some two bit real estate “mogul” who bullshits his way through business deals.
    Serious question since the NSA and the rest can’t bug a citizens phone, does that mean that the other party who I’m sure is using secure comms will be the only one to have a recording of the call, so that when Twitler lies about what was said we have to rely on his word, while they can produce their tape? How would that work. Someone earlier said that Trudeau has taken advantage of having his cell number, which is probably why he backed off of the whole rip up NAFTA shit.

  16. 16.

    randy khan

    May 30, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    As someone pointed out on LGM, the particularly fascinating thing here is that Trump seems to have just kept his phone, while the NSA made Obama go through all sorts of hoops to have a Blackberry and wouldn’t give one to the freaking Secretary of State in 2009.

  17. 17.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 30, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    Here’s the thing: apart from Pooty-Poot, who will be using a secure FSB encrypted line that the NSA has the codes for, to issue orders to his puppet, who wants to talk to the vile cheeto-faced manbaby?

  18. 18.

    EBT

    May 30, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    @efgoldman: Could we peruse it as such anyway?

  19. 19.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    @Mary G:

    Looks like (The Hill) CBS just fired Scott Pelley from the evening news while he was out of town

    That sucks beyond suckage. Pelley/CBS is the only one of the evening newscasts that has been on Tangerine Twitler’s case since before the election (the others are much more in the “both sides” and “normalization” modes) and also the newscast least larded with fluff.

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 30, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    @Mary G: For what? Insufficient obeisance to the tiny-fingered shitgibbon?

  21. 21.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    @hovercraft:

    he can’t get it through his head that he’s the FUCKING PRESIDENT of the United States of America, not some two bit real estate “mogul” who bullshits his way through business deals.

    I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see any difference, except the country is yooger than his corporate empire, with many more opportunities for grift.

  22. 22.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 30, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    @efgoldman: You can bet your last dollar that Bannon sees this (avoiding Federal records requirements) as a feature, not a bug.

  23. 23.

    schrodingers_cat

    May 30, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Is your kitteh stressed? Have you tried those diffusers, that are supposed to calm them. Feliway is the name I think.

  24. 24.

    hovercraft

    May 30, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    @EBT:
    He has no friends, he wants famous powerful friends dammit! Everywhere he went in Europe all he heard was that everyone loved the last guy even when they disagreed with him, and so far the only people who like him are people everyone hates! None of the cool kids want to sit with him, Macron actually said he was that unpopular kid in school no one wanted to sit next to him. The man wants to be all alpha male dominant and your bestie at the same time, again stoopid.

  25. 25.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 30, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    @randy khan: well, that’s what happens when only one party believes in rules.

  26. 26.

    JPL

    May 30, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    @efgoldman: I know! wtf.

  27. 27.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (Formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    May 30, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    @different-church-lady: What?!

  28. 28.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Insufficient obeisance to the tiny-fingered shitgibbon?

    According to the story, it’s the lowest-rated of the three network evening newscasts. Doesn’t deserve to be, but it is.

  29. 29.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 30, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    @Mary G: The one news anchor who was doing a decent job. Go figure.

  30. 30.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Bannon sees this (avoiding Federal records requirements) as a feature, not a bug.

    President Bannonazi? Sure. The nominal “president”? Never occurred to him.

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    May 30, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    @randy khan:

    What’s Trump going to be able to do to Scandinavia? Put a bigger import duty on Volvos?

  32. 32.

    eclare

    May 30, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    @different-church-lady: Hahaha…

  33. 33.

    JPL

    May 30, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    @efgoldman: That’s not new though. A different face is not going to change that.

  34. 34.

    Frankensteinbeck

    May 30, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    You folks are overthinking this. Trump is lazy. If he has to talk to foreign leaders, he wants to just dial a number at his convenience. He doesn’t have the patience or discipline for security procedures. There’s probably a minor kick out of going ‘Presidents call me on this phone right here!’ but mainly he’s a sluggish imbecile who refuses to go out of his way to do anything.

  35. 35.

    Sab

    May 30, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    @EBT: I am not a lawyer but seems so to me. Sigh. Why isn’t this a problem for these people? My son in law got arrested for riding in a car without the front license plate (who the phuck ever gets picked up for that!?) and almost missed Christmas with the family.

  36. 36.

    hovercraft

    May 30, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    @efgoldman:

    pretty sure he doesn’t see any difference, except the country is yooger than his corporate empire, with many more opportunities for grift.

    I rest my case stooopid!!!!

  37. 37.

    Mary G

    May 30, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    @efgoldman: I don’t watch TV but friends tell me he has been very aggressive in calling out Twitler’s lies as such, and I’m sure there was a lot of pressure on “Trump has been great for CBS” Moonves to yank him off.

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne

    May 30, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    @schrodingers_cat:

    We use the diffusers a lot, because Charlotte is an anxious kitteh. (Seriously, one vet pulled her out of her carrier, took one look, and said, “Wow, this is an anxious cat.”)

    But Annie has actual skin symptoms (this weird crust on her ears and paw pads), which is why the next step is the dermatologist. Why a bowel problem would manifest as skin lesions I don’t know, but apparently it’s quite common in cats as a sign of an autoimmune issue.

  39. 39.

    PaulWartenberg

    May 30, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    @different-church-lady:

    What?

  40. 40.

    randy khan

    May 30, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    I think it’s probably about 50-50 laziness and the kick of having their numbers on his phone. And, being Trump, he probably calls them when it’s convenient for him, without realizing (a) what time zones they’re in or (b) that they have busy schedules.

  41. 41.

    eclare

    May 30, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    @Mary G: This is the network whose CEO Moonves said t was bad for the country but good for ratings. Jackass. Can’t link on my phone and internet down.

  42. 42.

    ThresherK

    May 30, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    @Mnemosyne: My best cat ever, Godiva, we lost to lymphosarcoma at the age of six years and a few months. Symptoms included a lessening of appetite, weight loss, and hair not growing back as things got very dire. After an exploratory surgery on her tummy the shaved part never filled in.

    I hope things are minor for you.

  43. 43.

    Frankensteinbeck

    May 30, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    @randy khan:

    he probably calls them when it’s convenient for him

    I doubt they have a direct line like that. Unlike Orangemandias, they do have security procedures.

  44. 44.

    Mnemosyne

    May 30, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    @ThresherK:

    Oh no! Did steroids help? I think one of the things that’s making them think it’s IBD is that she got a couple of steroid shots that we saw major improvement after.

  45. 45.

    hilts

    May 30, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    @efgoldman:@Villago Delenda Est:

    The departure, first reported by Page Six, had been in the works for some time, the sources said, and was due in part to the fact that Pelley was struggling to generate ratings.

    h/t http://money.cnn.com/2017/05/30/media/scott-pelley-cbs-evening-news

    If ratings were truly a reason for firing Scott Pelley and not simply a cover story, then the CBS execs can go fuck themselves. The network makes enough goddamn money from their stupid primetime shows and should have been willing to stick with Pelley even if his ratings were low.

    Once upon a time in a land far, far away, tv execs assumed that network newscasts would lose money and were okay with that because they viewed newscasts as a public service as opposed to some giant cash cow. CBS was once referred to as the Tiffany network. A better name for it today would be the Shit network.

    Also too – Last week, WABC Radio in NY fired Ron Kuby, its lone liberal on the air. for “budgetary reasons”

  46. 46.

    amk

    May 30, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    heh vlad, I can sext you our nuke codes, if you want’em… No, I mean it. I can do totally do it. Here, hold my beer ketchup.

  47. 47.

    randy khan

    May 30, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    I doubt they have a direct line like that. Unlike Orangemandias, they do have security procedures.

    I bet he doesn’t realize that.

  48. 48.

    mouse tolliver

    May 30, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    The Trump trip was just begging for an Evita parody, and now we have one…

    “Let’s Here It For the Mango Tour!”

  49. 49.

    El Caganer

    May 30, 2017 at 11:13 pm

    @mouse tolliver: “Don’t Cry For Me, Mar-A-Lago?”

  50. 50.

    Frankensteinbeck

    May 30, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    @randy khan:
    Definitely not taking that bet.

  51. 51.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    @Mary G:

    I’m sure there was a lot of pressure on “Trump has been great for CBS” Moonves to yank him off.

    If he wasn’t a lagging third in the ratings, CBS wouldn’t care.
    It’s always, always, always about the money.

  52. 52.

    calling all toasters

    May 30, 2017 at 11:15 pm

    As long as he leaves location services on– very handy for finding him when he wanders off and forgets his name.

  53. 53.

    MisterForkbeard

    May 30, 2017 at 11:16 pm

    @randy khan: As dumb as Trump is, we should probably find out if his cell has been ‘hardened’ or whatever by the NSA folks before we completely condemn him. It’s possible (if not at all likely) that this is the case and we’re barking up the wrong tree here.

  54. 54.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 30, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    @hilts: Pelley isn’t even close to a liberal, either. However, he has an air of “Nevertrump” about him…more than enough reason for shitstain Moonves to fire his ass.

  55. 55.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    @randy khan:

    he probably calls them when it’s convenient for him, without realizing (a) what time zones they’re in or (b) that they have busy schedules.

    Unlike Orangemandyas claims to, I suspect none of them answers his/her own phone, and the number they gave him doesn’t ring in their pocket or at their bedside.

  56. 56.

    Peale

    May 30, 2017 at 11:20 pm

    Hmmm. Someone should break into that phone and replace the number associated with “china leader” with a DC take out joint.

  57. 57.

    Calouste

    May 30, 2017 at 11:22 pm

    Quite obvious why this is. The shitgibbon is too senile to remember what was said when he is debriefed by his Kremlin handler, so the Russkis now want to listen in directly.

  58. 58.

    ThresherK

    May 30, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    @Mnemosyne: We never got to the steroid shots at home part. She spent many days at the vet and part of that was those shots, and they were not of much effect for her. It may have already been too late then.

    Anyway, i didn’t trust myself for the task, and she’d lost almost 40 pct of her weight, when we decided it wasn’t fair to keep prolonging her misery and wouldn’t do anything for her quality of life.

  59. 59.

    efgoldman

    May 30, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    @hilts:

    The network makes enough goddamn money

    Never. There is no such thing.

    tv execs assumed that network newscasts would lose money and were okay with that because they viewed newscasts as a public service as opposed to some giant cash cow.

    Yep, but that was before they all folded the previously independent news divisions into their entertainment divisions in the late 80s.

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne

    May 30, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    @ThresherK:

    The two steroid shots that Annie has gotten had a pretty magical effect, but they can’t give her another one until they rule some other stuff out since it can mess with the tests. ?

  61. 61.

    Greg in PDX

    May 30, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    I wonder what his voice mail message is?

  62. 62.

    Gex

    May 30, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    @MisterForkbeard: This was well covered during the campaign. The phone he has has not had an OS update in years. Tech security experts have stated it is best to assume it has already been compromised.

    Trump Android Phone Security Threat

  63. 63.

    ThresherK

    May 30, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    @mouse tolliver: “Write your name and your dream on a card or pad or ticket / Throw it high in the air and should our lady pick it” seems less random than anything Trump is doing.

  64. 64.

    tobie

    May 30, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    @MisterForkbeard: Conducting government business on a private device, which is vulnerable to security breach…sounds oh so much like the last Presidential campaign. Republican hypocrisy knows no bounds. I doubt I’ll be seeing Trump for Prison bumper stickers in rural America any time soon.

  65. 65.

    Steve in the ATL

    May 30, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    I imagine that that every world leader who hears from trump responds with “new phone–who dis?”

  66. 66.

    ThresherK

    May 30, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    @Mnemosyne: You may be intervening at an earlier point than we did, so I’m glad for that news of how the shots are acting.

  67. 67.

    Morzer

    May 30, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    I suspect he’s also scared of new and complicated technology. He’s learned how to use his cell-phone and is unwilling to learn anything new. Not an unusual phenomenon at his age.

  68. 68.

    cynthia ackerman

    May 30, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    Someone said earlier today that our real problem is that tens of millions of us wanted this outcome.

  69. 69.

    RandomMonster

    May 30, 2017 at 11:35 pm

    Also, all major treaties will be negotiated via text messaging.

  70. 70.

    Morzer

    May 30, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Could it be a liver problem? Often liver problems in humans show up in the skin, so it might be worth considering whether a similar phenomenon occurs in cats.

  71. 71.

    seaboogie

    May 30, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    @efgoldman: Nailed it.

  72. 72.

    Tokyokie

    May 30, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    @randy khan:

    What’s Trump going to be able to do to Scandinavia? Put a bigger import duty on Volvos?

    Place an embargo on lutefisk imports.

  73. 73.

    sukabi

    May 30, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    @hovercraft: I’d bet that the feds have gotten a fisa warrant for all the mango menace’s phones, and his families and aids…and if they haven’t done that yet, they will soon…

  74. 74.

    danielx

    May 30, 2017 at 11:41 pm

    All too plausible.

    Rogue POTUS Staff‏ @RoguePOTUSStaff

    POTUS wants US to be S Arabia. No joke. Complains that he came home to a disrespectful public. “S. Arabians know how to treat their king.

    The peasants are revolting, oh yes they are.

  75. 75.

    Morzer

    May 30, 2017 at 11:41 pm

    @Tokyokie:

    “No more cosy sweaters for you, Wisconsin! The Age of Hygge is over! The Time of the Trump has begun! Jared, is this thing on?”

    “Mr President, that is your desk lamp, not a microphone.”

  76. 76.

    danielx

    May 30, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    @Tokyokie:

    Place an embargo on lutefisk imports.

    Like that would be a sacrifice.

  77. 77.

    Lyrebird

    May 30, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    @Mnemosyne: best wishes to you and to kitteh. If pleasant distractions would be helpful, check out these wanna-be centerfolds I mean pet-calendar pet photos from a shelter in the UP of Michigan.

    ETA: note that the possibly strange wording above is meant to hopefully make you laugh, not to suggest anything off about the pet photos.

  78. 78.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 30, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    @efgoldman: No, Trump has no concept of noblesse oblige. He is just an asshole.

  79. 79.

    Tokyokie

    May 30, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    @danielx: I didn’t mean to imply that I wouldn’t support such a measure.

  80. 80.

    Morzer

    May 30, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    He’s more of a no grace oblige kinda guy.

  81. 81.

    Steve in the ATL

    May 30, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    @Tokyokie:

    Place an embargo on lutefisk imports.

    Throw in haggis and you’ve got a deal!

  82. 82.

    eclare

    May 30, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: You saw my post downstairs? I am now eclare! Memphis becomes electric.

    Enjoying lots of A/C.

  83. 83.

    Steve in the ATL

    May 30, 2017 at 11:53 pm

    @eclare: yes! Yoga studio owner friend posted a pic of a rainbow over Overton Square right before the power came back on. It’s a Memorial Day miracle!

  84. 84.

    burnspbesq

    May 30, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    @EBT:

    Isn’t this an obvious attempt to circumvent federal records acts?

    That was my first thought, but I don’t think The Walking Diminished Capacity Defense is capable of the mental state necessary to commit the offens.

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    May 30, 2017 at 11:56 pm

    @Morzer:

    Her bloodwork came back clean for both liver and kidney problems, which is why it’s still a mystery. In some ways, it’s good that it’s a mystery and not an immediately obvious problem like a tumor on her pancreas, but it’s frustrating all the same.

    @Lyrebird:

    I will go admire the kittehs now. Annie did eat about half of her wet food, which isn’t enough, but it’s something. Hopefully the kitty dermatologist can fit us in sooner rather than later.

  86. 86.

    OldDave

    May 30, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    @eclare:

    Enjoying lots of A/C.

    Great! Happy to hear it! A/C and hot water are the bedrock of civilization.

  87. 87.

    Jay Noble

    May 31, 2017 at 12:00 am

    Here’s an idea – We make a back channel deal with all these leaders to take Trump up on his offer and then they call him up in a coordinated rotation that keeps him from tweeting. It doesn’t have to be the actual leaders calling just some aides with the proper accents and burner phones

  88. 88.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:00 am

    Heya BJ brain trust,

    I need to name a parrot in my new story, that a grandma left in her will as part of the rest of the house. Possibly something German, definitely something sweet. Any thoughts?

    ETA: Female parrot. African grey.

  89. 89.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 31, 2017 at 12:02 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Irmgard.

  90. 90.

    efgoldman

    May 31, 2017 at 12:03 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Viener Schnitzel

    Hässlicher Papagei

  91. 91.

    Steve in the ATL

    May 31, 2017 at 12:04 am

    @Major Major Major Major: scheissekopf

  92. 92.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:05 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: @efgoldman: Covering both ends of the German obscurity spectrum, I see.

  93. 93.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:05 am

    Since this is an open thread (per Mnem – hope your kitty recovers, they can be surprisingly strong sometimes), I just wrote a thank you letter to the IRS (paging Yutsano – pick up the white courtesy phone!).

    I’ve been paying off an Offer In Compromise for a few years, because of my own procrastination and the fact that I had an ex who spent our joint finances on hookers and blow (actually paramours and booze, but I don’t know how to do the strikeout thing).

    Long story short, in my recent move I paid a few months in advance knowing that my life was going to be kind of busy, and then I misplaced the original paperwork that had the mailing address for monthly payments. I’ve been trying not to freak out while searching for the paperwork, but I just put it out into the Universe that I want the OIC to remain active, and I just need the mailing address.

    Tonight as I returned home, a letter from the IRS in my personal mailbox that my landlord put up for me on the side of our mutual residence (that is only about 20 feet from the actual mailbox, but landlord is a thoughtful and discreet gent).

    IRS is just asking me to catch up in a time frame that I can manage, and I actually cried tears of joy and relief. So I wrote a letter to the OIC team thanking them for their practices, procedures and human compassion as they do their civil service jobs in support of the citizens of the US and the ship of state, with a big “THANK YOU” in a large font – because I don’t think they get that very often.

    In conclusion, some parts of this government still work, and for this I am grateful.

  94. 94.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 31, 2017 at 12:07 am

    @Major Major Major Major: efg was wrong. It’s wiener schnitzel.

  95. 95.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:10 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Schatzi. (Sweetheart), but prevalent enough that even I know that it is a term of endearment, tho’ I speak no German beyond the “nein, nein, nein” that I grew up with. Maybe why I elected to learn French.

  96. 96.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:11 am

    @seaboogie: Good news indeed. Although I’ve always found that the IRS tends to take a “help us, help you, pay us” approach to things.

  97. 97.

    efgoldman

    May 31, 2017 at 12:13 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Bratwurst

    Weisswurst

    Saurbraten

  98. 98.

    JGabriel

    May 31, 2017 at 12:15 am

    AP Politics via David Anderson @ Top:

    BREAKING: President Trump has been urging world leaders to call him on his cellphone, raising security and secrecy concerns.

    [Ring! Ring!]

    Donald: [Answers Cellphone] Trump!

    Elizabeth: Hi, Donald. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

    Donald: What? Who is this? How’d you get this number?!

    Elizabeth: It’s Queen Elizabeth, Donald, and YOU gave me your number. Told to me to call anytime. So now I’m calling, and I demand to know: Do you have Prince Albert in a Can? Because if you do, you’d better let him out. That’s my ancestor we’re talking about, and if you’ve stolen and canned his remains, then I’m ordering my armies to take back the colonies!

    Donald: I don’t know anything about this situation, Your Highness, but I’ll look into it and get back to you ASAP.

    Elizabeth: You do that! [Slams down phone.]

    Elizabeth: [Giggles. Turns to Philip and says:] What a putz!

  99. 99.

    Omnes Omnibus

    May 31, 2017 at 12:16 am

    @JGabriel: Ha!

  100. 100.

    Tokyokie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:16 am

    @seaboogie: That’s the name that Nazi heifer Marge Schott had for the St. Bernard that’d poop on the playing field before games when she owned the Reds. I wouldn’t touch that one.

  101. 101.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:18 am

    @efgoldman: Nobody’s going to eat the parrot.

  102. 102.

    eclare

    May 31, 2017 at 12:19 am

    @OldDave: A/C and hot water are why we came out of the caves. Just took a while.

  103. 103.

    LurkerNoLonger

    May 31, 2017 at 12:20 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Angela

  104. 104.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:20 am

    @Major Major Major Major: True – but that’s kind of the point. They are legit very constructively helpful in the “help us to make this less dire for you” in the “what is possible” mode, because they know the ins and outs of their departments and their job is just to collect *some* money. Perhaps the one good thing about this sitch of mine is discovering how legitimately helpful and un-punishing the IRS can be, but that usually comes with an extreme (as in knocking on your door, of which I know) situation, and then you get a whole inside person with an phone number, v. dire mailings.

    Best scenario is having no issues with the IRS – next best scenario is to be sufficiently fucked up to have an inside contact and a phone number/actual human.

  105. 105.

    dww44

    May 31, 2017 at 12:21 am

    @efgoldman: I agree;he’s been a breath of fresh air and I thought he was quite good at being the anchor. So, wonder what’s behind this move other than ratings?. Took a peek at the comments at The Hill . and come away convinced that Pelley, along with CBS, is in the tank for Barack, Democrats, and the far left. More proof of the Foxification of the right. Moderate to the brainwashed translates into leftier than left.

  106. 106.

    Mike J

    May 31, 2017 at 12:21 am

    Merrill Markoe‏ @Merrillmarkoe 28 minutes ago
    Everyone is acting like he doesn’t have a very good reason: Its the only way to send a clear and instantaneous dick pic.

  107. 107.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:23 am

    @Mike J: Can’t he just direct them to whitehouse.gov? That thing is covered with pictures of dicks.

  108. 108.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:24 am

    @Tokyokie: Okay – but I didn’t know that – assume that M4’s book is not directed solely to the cognoscenti of BJ, because he would never break even in a self-published situation, if that is how it rolls out. That said, he could name the parrot after a commenter here….

    I clearly do not know the “order of operations” for FYWP italics and bolding, but whatevs…(Steep – I’m not trying to learn that tonight…)

  109. 109.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:31 am

    @seaboogie: I was actually wondering if anybody happened to know the name(s?) of gng’s bird(s?)…

    ETA: as for ‘order of operations’ you can do whatever but they have to be properly nested. So [a] [b] [/b] [/a] is fine but [a] [b] [/a] [/b] is not.

  110. 110.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:36 am

    @Major Major Major Major: maybe get one of the FPers to email her sister? That would be such a sweet tribute to her, and you are such a dear to think of it…

    (Getting a bit teary again tonight – first the IRS, now you…)

  111. 111.

    LurkerNoLonger

    May 31, 2017 at 12:37 am

    @Mike J: “Ivanka, u up?”

  112. 112.

    Peale

    May 31, 2017 at 12:38 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Engelein (litttle Angel)

  113. 113.

    Mike J

    May 31, 2017 at 12:38 am

    Why is twitter showing me likes from people I follow? It seems like it just started in the past few days. I don’t want to see things you liked. If I wanted to see more posts, I’d follow more people. As a relatively nonviolent person, how do I make them stop?

  114. 114.

    Chet Murthy

    May 31, 2017 at 12:39 am

    Even Bossie don’t wanna work for the Shitgibbon

    Mr. Bossie, a former deputy campaign manager, signaled that he does not plan to join the staff, citing family concerns…

    dayyum

  115. 115.

    Mike J

    May 31, 2017 at 12:40 am

    @Major Major Major Major: I had a cat named Schatzie, along with the green 240 estate.

  116. 116.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:41 am

    @seaboogie: lol, at least I’m in good company.

    I’d just as soon not bother the family, though.

  117. 117.

    efgoldman

    May 31, 2017 at 12:41 am

    @dww44:

    he’s been a breath of fresh air and I thought he was quite good at being the anchor. So, wonder what’s behind this move other than ratings?

    I’m afraid they are going to go thru a number of anchors. likely women, until they find someone sexy enough, for whatever definition of “sexy enough” they think they need.
    I’m afraid they are also going to change writers and editors, in favor of less straight news and more bullshit. Less like WaPo, more like NYT.

  118. 118.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:42 am

    @Major Major Major Major: That is so greek to me…do you think that WordPress will catch up to MS Word – at the very least? I don’t need to know how to *make* a hammer, I just want to use one.

    But thank ye kindly, anyway…

  119. 119.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:44 am

    @seaboogie: Well, no. WordPress is terrible.

  120. 120.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 31, 2017 at 12:47 am

    @danielx: This is why the Romanov solution is so appealing with Donald and his loathsome spawn.

  121. 121.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 31, 2017 at 12:50 am

    @JGabriel: This comment needs a “like”.

  122. 122.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 12:51 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: That’s where we leave one of them alive and help her disappear so that conspiracy theorists have something to work with for the rest of her lifespan, right?

  123. 123.

    efgoldman

    May 31, 2017 at 12:52 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    This is why the Romanov solution is so appealing with Donald and his loathsome spawn.

    Nothing that drastic; I’d settle for orange [of course] jump suits, a 6×8, and losing what’s left of the Trumpire. Kushkie’s too, of course.

  124. 124.

    Felonius Monk

    May 31, 2017 at 12:53 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    The two steroid shots that Annie has gotten had a pretty magical effect

    One of our cats has been diagnosed with IBD. She is on prednisolone permanently. It is very difficult to pill her, so we have a compounded gel made that gets rubbed on her ear every couple of days.

  125. 125.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 12:54 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Worth the bother, I believe – her critters were so dear to her, and to have one of them named in your work would be pretty sweet. Consider that this might be a great consolation and favor that you are doing for gnG, her family and her beloved bird – not the time to be shy – this is not intrusive. I say contact the FPers through back channels and proffer the idea – I belive it will be well received, deeply appreciated, and I look forward to learning the name. Consider this a “furtherance” of gnG’s energy here, amongst her critters, and in the world….

  126. 126.

    Felonius Monk

    May 31, 2017 at 12:58 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Possibly something German, definitely something sweet.

    Ingeborge

    ETA: Or Hildegarde

  127. 127.

    Mary G

    May 31, 2017 at 12:58 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Hildegard? Heidi?Trudy or Gertrude?

  128. 128.

    Mnemosyne

    May 31, 2017 at 12:59 am

    @Felonius Monk:

    Did you have to change her food? G is very worried about changing their food because the oldest cat (Keaton) has issues with constipation and already has to get special food, so G is concerned that there won’t be a food that works for both of them.

  129. 129.

    Mnemosyne

    May 31, 2017 at 1:00 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    My characters aren’t talking to me. I’m very annoyed with them. I keep suggesting things to them and they roll their eyes like bratty teenagers.

  130. 130.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 1:03 am

    @Mnemosyne: I forget who it was, but they said you can always cure writer’s block by having somebody burst through the door with two uzis. Have you tried that?

  131. 131.

    joel hanes

    May 31, 2017 at 1:07 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Schatzie FTW

  132. 132.

    joel hanes

    May 31, 2017 at 1:09 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Pfeffernusse

  133. 133.

    Felonius Monk

    May 31, 2017 at 1:10 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    Did you have to change her food?

    The vet recommended Science Diet ID. She loves the dry, but won’t touch the wet. So she gets regular canned food along with the ID dry. She does fine.

    We have a 18 yr old named Annie who is on blood pressure meds and Meloxacam for her arthritis. And the stray that we recently took in is so frightened of the other two that we are going to start her on Prozac. It is a pharmaceutical nightmare around here.

  134. 134.

    Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA

    May 31, 2017 at 1:10 am

    Words to live by:

    Despite the negative press, covfefe

    –Donald J.Trump, May 31, 2017, 12:06 AM

  135. 135.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 1:10 am

    @Mnemosyne: Severe constipation was my indicator that my v. old kitty’s gut had just shut down – and that was her last day – because she was altenately extremely listless or jumping up in an excrucuating kitty yowl. That said, it can be an ongoing issue, and canned pumpkin is sort of a miracle food. Cats (and dogs) love it, and they have fabulous Platonic ideals of poops – like in tootsie roll. You can mix it in with their regular food as a supplement/treat.

  136. 136.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 1:12 am

    @joel hanes: Like Pfeffernusse a bunch!

  137. 137.

    Bupalos

    May 31, 2017 at 1:14 am

    Anyone catch npr – must be all things considered or whatever the evening show is called – tonight, they ran an odd story string, over the course of about 1 minute, these 3 half-reported stories, I think in this order, definitely consecutively

    1. Kushner sought to establish “back channel” communications with Russia. Some say this is legitimate diplomacy tool, some are suspicious.
    2. U.S. intercepted icbm in test
    3. White house believes that China is pursuing “back channel” communications with north korea, and this may help slow north Korean missile program.

    My mouth was gaping. I mean, that “back channel” thing with China just literally would not mean anything, the attempt to just get the phrasing out there is so transparent. And the string together???

  138. 138.

    MisterForkbeard

    May 31, 2017 at 1:14 am

    @Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA: Modern poetry. Covfefe is likely a portmanteau of “coverage” and “feefees”, also known as “Feelings”. By creating this new, BETTER word Trump is demonstrating his elegance and wit. #MAGA

  139. 139.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 1:14 am

    @Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA: bqhatevwr.

  140. 140.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 31, 2017 at 1:15 am

    @Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA: Cov Fefe, cov, cov…. Fefe be good

  141. 141.

    MisterForkbeard

    May 31, 2017 at 1:15 am

    @Gex: Yep. I just meant that I would feel awfully silly if we found out that the NSA had issued him a new personal cell phone or something.

  142. 142.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 1:16 am

    @seaboogie: @joel hanes: ich auch!

  143. 143.

    JGabriel

    May 31, 2017 at 1:17 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: @Villago Delenda Est:

    Danke, danke, we at Chez Gabriel aim to please.

  144. 144.

    MisterForkbeard

    May 31, 2017 at 1:17 am

    @Bupalos: NPR is basically just awful these days. They try so hard to be “nonpartisan” that they completely fail to actually deliver the news in a useful way. They’re basically not allowed to discuss bad things that republicans do without getting their funding yanked and weeks of attacks in conservative media, so they dont’ even try any more.

  145. 145.

    Frankensteinbeck

    May 31, 2017 at 1:18 am

    Why do we not have a specific covfefe thread? This is news that deserves the front page!

    Covfefe is already a word my iPhone recognizes.

  146. 146.

    TriassicSands

    May 31, 2017 at 1:19 am

    @dmsilev:

    No one would be easier to fool than Trump the Gullible. It would be entertaining to have people posing as world leaders calling Trump night and day and “making deals.” It wouldn’t take long to show what a complete phony Trump is. Step one: lavish praise on Trump the Insecure. Step two: propose a trade deal worth twice the GDP of the entire world. Tell Trump it’s the biggest trade deal in history. Step three: Laugh.

  147. 147.

    Felonius Monk

    May 31, 2017 at 1:19 am

    @tobie:

    doubt I’ll be seeing Trump for Prison bumper stickers in rural America any time soon.

    I’ve seen a few of these

  148. 148.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 31, 2017 at 1:23 am

    @MisterForkbeard: Not known as Nice Polite Republicans for nothing.

  149. 149.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 1:25 am

    @Mnemosyne: @Major Major Major Major: Like the Uzi/Restoration Romance idea.

    I stopped at Pharmaca on my way home tonight, and parked next to a Subie with discreet stickers, one that said *Meow*, and another, with an insignia that said *Zombie Outbreak Response Team*. Only one other person in the shop, and the dude was about 70. I asked him if that was his ride and he said yes.

    Am so not into Zombie or Fantasy stuff, but loved it enough to take a pic.

  150. 150.

    Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA

    May 31, 2017 at 1:26 am

    @MisterForkbeard: He has all the best words.

    (I have to admit, I certainly didn’t have that one.)

  151. 151.

    J R in WV

    May 31, 2017 at 1:26 am

    @Mnemosyne: For cats with constipation we learned that pumpkin mixed-up with their normal food worked very well.

    We used it for an elderly cat who ate a whole bunny rabbit and had severe bowel blockage that the pumpkin resolved completely.

    Later on we had a cat suddenly get way fat, and adding pumpkin to her diet helped her feel full on fewer calories, helping her lose weight easily.

    I don’t think it can hurt them, our very experienced Vet recommended it years ago and it always worked out well!

  152. 152.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    May 31, 2017 at 1:27 am

    @Bupalos: “Back channel” was actually of course the White House way to downplay it, much like “locker room talk”. As many have pointed out, no, back channels are when you use the Swiss to talk to the Iranians or whatever, not generally proposing using a country’s secret facilities to keep secrets from your own government but not from theirs.

    Now of course, I notice that CNN and even some of them on MSNBC just refer to it as “a controversy about Kushner using back channels”.

    Why does Trump lie so much? Because quite often it works. They’ll call him on some of it but also just adopt some of the rest as if gospel.

  153. 153.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 1:31 am

    @J R in WV: Pumpkin is great for so many things for cats and dogs!

  154. 154.

    Mike J

    May 31, 2017 at 1:34 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Economical doghouse or litter box.

  155. 155.

    TriassicSands

    May 31, 2017 at 1:37 am

    I’ve been watching a great gray owl cam. The nest had two (or an original 4) owlets left in the nest. I opened the webcam and within 20 seconds one of the remaining two owlets stood up, stretched, and flew off into an entirely new world. Now, there’s just one last owlet waiting to get the urge to give up the security of the nest and go out and take on the unknown. Life is very hard for young birds of prey — many don’t make it.

    Speaking of hard. There’s a heartbreaking article in the Washington Post about a rare disease — epidermolysis bullosa — that, due to a missing protein, causes the skin to form incredibly fragile blisters all over the body. Children are born with it and the most serious forms of the disease are unsurvivable. There is no cure and no real treatment except to try to keep the blisters from getting worse and doing more damage and scarring than they have to. The photographs and video are extremely painful to look at — and the children are in constant pain with open sores all over their bodies. There simply is no amount of money that would be too much to provide research for all these diseases except there wouldn’t be enough researchers. Meanwhile, Trump is cutting, cutting, cutting. Unspeakably evil.

  156. 156.

    seaboogie

    May 31, 2017 at 1:37 am

    @Major Major Major Major: “Thirding” on the pumpkin front. If anything is going to work gut and/or weight-wise, it’s pumpkin. Cats and dogs both love it. Also – lovely poops*.

    *h/t Walter

    Meant to copy Mnemosyne on this too…

  157. 157.

    Peale

    May 31, 2017 at 1:42 am

    @Major Major Major Major: I settled down on the couch for another night of Frontline. Hopefully I’d be awake for another episode of Downton Abbey. Season 2, episode 11, to be unusually precise. Judy sat by my side, but couldn’t be bothered to look at me. She had been that way at dinner.

    “I know something is bothering you…is there”
    “I know you know. You always do. Just like you always have.”
    “Is that a problem?”
    “I’m flawed, John. Horrrbily flawed…remember?”
    “I know. But I can overlook that. Your negative character traits aren’t really that bad”
    She paused. Smiled slightly. She rose from the chair and walked to the picture window. “You’re an asshole. That’s your problem. No one really likes you. That used to bother you. That was your internal motivation. And you pissed it away.”
    “You’ve made me a better person”
    “You’re not supposed to be a better person. I’m supposed to ruin you. Everyone’s supposed to be pissed right now that you appear blind to the obvious. It’s called suspense. You’re killing the suspense, john.”
    “Because. I am an asshole?”
    “What?”
    “Yeah. I’m an asshole who sits at home at night and watches Downton Abbey. Just like I was in chapter 2. I liked your breasts when they came into the story in chapter 5 so I decided to call of the rest of the story. There is no mystery, Judy. Right after the inciting event, I called my accountant and it turned out that my business partner hadn’t embezzled my fortune.”
    “So you don’t need to go to Africa now to hunt him down. And…” she stopped.
    “Yeah. And I don’t need a femme fatale. It’s, over. It ended long ago. I don’t need to leave this sofa.”

    Door bursts open. Uzis come out. Maybe aliens, too.

  158. 158.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 1:47 am

    @Peale: Just looked it up, it was Ray Chandler who said it.

  159. 159.

    Mnemosyne

    May 31, 2017 at 1:48 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    It’s 1815 — they only just invented rifles.

    But I do keep trying to figure out how to work Adam’s enraged axe-wielding Scotsman into the story. Would that have the same effect?

  160. 160.

    Major Major Major Major

    May 31, 2017 at 1:51 am

    @Mnemosyne: I mean… probably.

  161. 161.

    Peale

    May 31, 2017 at 1:52 am

    @Mnemosyne: maybe. If the Scotsman had a grey parrot on his shoulder named Schatzie, I could believe it.

  162. 162.

    Mnemosyne

    May 31, 2017 at 1:55 am

    @Peale:

    A pet store I used to be a customer of had an African Grey parrot named Kenya. She would wait for the employees to go to the back of the store and then imitate the phone to force them to run back up to the front to answer it. She also used to meow at the rescue puppies to drive them into a frenzy of barking.

    There was a big sign on her cage that said that she was not for sale, but I suspect the employees were occasionally tempted.

  163. 163.

    polyorchnid octopunch

    May 31, 2017 at 2:18 am

    @MisterForkbeard: They did. He’s not using it, as it’s not Android and he tweets from Android all the time… and the diction indicates that those are the tweets that he sends himself (as opposed to one sent by a staffer).

  164. 164.

    Villago Delenda Est

    May 31, 2017 at 2:38 am

    @MisterForkbeard: It’s standard Villager bullshit. Why I have my nym. Why I’m always saying:

    Wipe them out. All of them.

  165. 165.

    Amir Khalid

    May 31, 2017 at 4:38 am

    @Major Major Major Major:
    How about Liesl? That’s a girl’s name that sounds rather pretty.

  166. 166.

    Groucho48

    May 31, 2017 at 5:46 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    As someone who grew up on Enid Blyton adventure stories, I’d go with Kiki.

  167. 167.

    No One You Know

    May 31, 2017 at 12:55 pm

    @RandomMonster: Not Twitter? I am disappointed.

  168. 168.

    workworkwork

    May 31, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: I had heard that was no such thing as writer’s block, since you can always write badly.

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5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

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