Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Republicans in disarray!

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

No one could have predicted…

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Infrastructure week. at last.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Open Sessions Session Recap Thread: “… ‘Zectif PRIVIJJ!…”

Open Sessions Session Recap Thread: “… ‘Zectif PRIVIJJ!…”

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Julia Ioffe — a Russian immigrant who has some experience in such areas — thinks that Sessions may be most fearful that, during his mid-2016 stint as Trump’s “political affairs expert”, he may have gone beyond skirting-the-ethical-line to outright-violation-of-Congressional-regulation when he opened his offices and his arms to every international dignitary willing to be seen in Trump’s company. While the two men are undoubtedly soulmates, right now Sessions needs Trump a lot more than Trump needs Sessions, if Jefferson Beauregard III is to keep his cushy job abusing the rights of uppity women, people of color who don’t know their place, young free-speech drug-defending absolutists, and all the other felons unjailed during That Black Man in the White House’s tenure. Should his Repub fellows get too agitated about Sessions’ flagrant rule-breaking, of course Trump will have no qualms whatsofekkingever throwing the Malevolent Leprechaun to the media wolves…


 

Reader Interactions

58Comments

  1. 1.

    EBT

    Hope he spends the rest of his life in elf prison baking cookies. Fucker can bring back magic middles too.

  2. 2.

    Morzer

    Sessions regards ethics rules in much the same way as Barbossa regarded the Pirate Code.

  4. 4.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @raven: If there hadn’t been a car motorcycle chase, it would have lead the news here(ended up being the 2nd story, and the guy on the bike seems to have managed to lose the cops).

  7. 7.

    ThresherK

    @raven: I am just half-awake enough to think you typed

    Damn, this looks as bad as the London fire

    Metaphorically comparing Sessions’ trstimony to the Great Fire, 351 years ago. That, too, started small and seemed containable, yet whipped itself quickly out of control owing to conditions which almost predetermined the disaster happening.

  8. 8.

    raven

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: We’ve got a bad one here. A prison bus was transporting cons when, somehow, two of them broke through the cage door and killed both cops. It happened about 40 miles south of here and they broke in a house 20 miles south. One of them is from an adjacent county and people are pretty nervous.

  9. 9.

    Amir Khalid

    I didn’t watch him testify, but the reports and analyses all say Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions No. 3 hasn’t done himself or the Trump “administration” any favours. Invocation of executive privilege where it doesn’t apply, getting caught contradicting his own previous statements, the obvious and infuriating stonewalling in response to questions … Why did he choose to testify in the first place?

  11. 11.

    Shalimar

    From the Washington Post story about the Virginia primaries:

    But there was less unity among Republicans, with Stewart refusing to concede and saying he wouldn’t support Gillespie, a man he derided throughout the campaign as “Establishment Ed.”

    “There is one word you will never hear from me, and that’s ‘unity,’ ” Stewart told supporters at a restaurant in Woodbridge. “We’ve been backing down too long. We’ve been backing down too long in defense of our culture, and our heritage and our country.”

  12. 12.

    Shalimar

    @Amir Khalid: Sessions chose to testify to clear his good name and get everything out in the open. Yes, that really was what he claimed beforehand.

  13. 13.

    NeenerNeener

    Today is Trump’s 71st birthday, which starts the “was it a premonition or just wishful thinking?” clock for me.

  14. 14.

    Shalimar

    @NeenerNeener: The RNC was nice enough to have a card for everyone to sign. I wished Trump well and warned him about the dangers of ketchup poisoning.

  15. 15.

    Betty Cracker

    @Amir Khalid: I think the committee summoned him, but I’m not sure. He was evasive as heck, and it’s a neat trick to not invoke executive privilege, which would then be subject to challenge, while at the same time claiming its protection. Sessions’ strategy was similar to what Mr. Coats did last week in his turn before the committee. Angus King and Kamala Harris were asking the right question — what’s the legal justification for this? It doesn’t exist.

  17. 17.

    Betty Cracker

    @Shalimar: Isn’t Stewart the crackpot from up nawth who is so keen to protect ouah Confederate heritage? Moron. I hope he sticks to the sentiments expressed and poisons the well for the VA GOP.

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    My local NPR station carries (live) the BBC World Update from 5:00-6:00 every morning. Today they have covered the fire to the exclusion of all other stories. Even on the recent days of covering the U.K. election results and the London Bridge attacks, they did take time to report on other news. Not today, though. Really, really bad.

  19. 19.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Amir Khalid:

    Jeffrey Beauregard Sessions No. 3

    His name is more quintessentially good ole boy Southren than that: It’s actually Jefferson Beauregard Sessions Three-Sticks.

  20. 20.

    Betty Cracker

    @SiubhanDuinne: A wag on Twitter noted the appropriateness of Sessions’ “stonewalling” technique during the hearing, invoking yet another Confederate general.

    @raven: Scary! Hope the cops catch them soon.

  21. 21.

    Anya

    The London fire seems too big. I hope the residents are safe but it looks like it’s going to be a devestating fire. The Grenfell Action Group has been blogging for years about the potential fire hazard of apartment tower engulfed in flames. People responsible for this must pay, including inspectors who ignored the warnings.

  23. 23.

    Morzer

    Sessions certainly seemed intent on demonstrating that a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. The kindest thing you can say about his performance is that it took petulant shiftiness to a new artistic level.

  24. 24.

    Amir Khalid

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    I stand corrected. That said, I do wonder why posh Southern families like a particular boy’s name so much that they repeat it for another two generations or perhaps more. Like Jock, JR and John Ross Ewing of Dallas. Or their fondness for ornate French-sounding names.

  26. 26.

    Anya

    @Betty Cracker: I saw the clip when the Racist Leprechaun replied to Sen. Kamala Harris’ questioning (she’s such a prosecutor) with “I’m not able to be rushed this fast. It makes me nervous,” and this is when I wished Jon Stewart was still around. CNN’s chinless sleazeball who used to work for Trump, called Sen Harris ‘Hysterical’ and Kirsten Powers Confronted him and wouldn’t let go. She kept asking him to explain how she was hysterical. He kept stammering. Of course Anderson Cooper didn’t say anything. Ugh!

  27. 27.

    Kay

    You’re going to hear a lot on apprenticeships today but this is really the bottom line and so far it’s been true for all the Trump plans:

    Obama FY17 budget: Proposes $2 billion for apprenticeships
    Trump FY18 budget: No new money for apprenticeships

    This stuff is fake. It’s phony. It’s covered like it’s real and will actually happen but if there’s no new money behind it isn’t real.

    What they’re hoping to do is reduce worker protections and regulation around apprenticeships and then they will magically “grow” because companies will set up “apprenticeships” but it’s just a word. It’s meaningless without standards and rules.

    They could actually discredit apprenticeships because the whole point is the employee is trained in a system that assures the employer the employee is qualified- has actually learned the job. That’s why employers hire them. They don’t have to sift thru 50 applicants to find 1 they want. It’s like hiring someone with 5 (documented) years of experience over an unknown quantity. The standards are the point.

  28. 28.

    Shalimar

    @Betty Cracker: Originally from Minnesota and started his post-secondary schooling at St. Olaf College, thus teeing up a million Golden Girls jokes.

  29. 29.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Anya:

    There’s already a Wikipedia article (link) about the fire, which gives some comprehensive background about the building’s many problems.

  35. 35.

    Kay

    Obama wouldn’t have gotten 2 billion for apprenticeships- the proposed budget is aspirational, but “zero” is the Trump figure.

    This is another example of Ivanka’s (phony) influence as an “adviser”. This is her thing. It’s supposedly what she met with Merkel about (Germany has an apprentice system). If Ivanka doesn’t get any funding for the stuff she announces then she’s not really an “adviser” and she isn’t being taken seriously. Not only are the “apprenticeships” just the word “apprentice”, her “adviser” job is just a word too.

  36. 36.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @OzarkHillbilly: Choppers lost track of him, they said he went into the tunnel and into a parking structure. If he went into the 3rd Street tunnel there are no parking structure entrances. There are parking structure entrances on 4th street that a chopper wouldn’t be able to see. The guy(we think) was going too fast for the ground units to keep up with him. The choppers were having trouble keeping up with him.

  37. 37.

    trnc

    Not sure that I completely agree with Schiff here:

    Sessions confirmed Comey was uncomfortable meeting President alone. He had to know it involved Russia: why else would Comey have objected?

    Comey and Sessions should both have objected based purely on protocol. There was a great article somewhere during the W era that explained how strictly limited contact should be between DOJ and WH in order to preserve DOJ’s independence. W busted that wide open.

  38. 38.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @Kay: Kay, apprenticeships are a game for these people; the old man even had a game show called ‘The Apprentice’ on the TV machine. You’re right, it’s all smoke and mirrors.

  39. 39.

    Betty Cracker

    @Anya: Ugh, I cannot abide that melon-headed creep Miller! Someone should tell him the goatee only accentuates the fact that he lacks a chin. Good for Powers for calling him out. She can be a tool sometimes, but she was righteous in that clip.

    @Kay: Amen. From what I understand, we could learn much from the way Germany handles apprenticeships, but you’re right — the Trumps will only manage to discredit the concept. I’m convinced they’re focusing on it solely because of the tie-in to the shitgibbon’s crappy TV show.

  40. 40.

    Anya

    @Kay: In addition to attempting of destroying every prominent Obama accomplishment, he also appropriates every unknown success. Someone should start a blog documenting all the appropriation, starting with job numbers, corporate expansions deals, improvements on veterans healthcare access, etc.

  42. 42.

    Kay

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Ivanka must know this. She must know that if she doesn’t get any money it’s fake- it’s feel good. That’s how it works in the private sector too. They gave her an office and a title and a staff but if she doesn’t get any funding that’s all it is- an office and a title. So far, Michelle Obama actually got more as First Lady – she got school lunch regs thru. You would think “school lunch regs” would be easy but they weren’t. There’s an entire industry that exists to sell garbage food to kids.

  43. 43.

    Anya

    @Betty Cracker: He gives me a creep vide. The distressing part is that non of the male panalists objected. Why should it be left to a woman to object to misogyny! This is freaking 2017.

    I liked this little exchange:

    GLORIA BORGER: You’re being hysterical.

    POWERS: Yes, I’m hysterical now, for example. But, I think she was asking a lot of questions and he wasn’t being very forthcoming and I think there was a lot of frustration on the part of a lot of the senators there and it wasn’t all Democrats who were frustrated.

  44. 44.

    trnc

    @Anya:

    In addition to attempting of destroying every prominent Obama accomplishment, he also appropriates every unknown success. Someone should start a blog documenting all the appropriation, starting with job numbers, corporate expansions deals, improvements on veterans healthcare access, etc.

    That’s an excellent idea. I could see that popping up in a lot of twitter responses. I don’t have the time, but I would read the hell out of it.

  45. 45.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Betty Cracker:

    A wag on Twitter noted the appropriateness of Sessions’ “stonewalling” technique during the hearing, invoking yet another Confederate general.

    Ah, yes, Stonewall Jackson. I first encountered him in third grade, when we studied the Whittier poem “Barbara Frietchie”:

    “Shoot, if you must, this old gray head,
    But spare your country’s flag,” she said.

    A shade of sadness, a blush of shame,
    Over the face of the leader came;

    The nobler nature within him stirred
    To life at that woman’s deed and word:

    “Who touches a hair of yon gray head
    Dies like a dog! March on!” he said.

  46. 46.

    Kay

    @Anya:

    Obama did set up apprentices even without the additional congressional funding because they moved money around in the Department of Labor. They were covered quite a bit in the Cleveland newspaper. They always run them thru community colleges – that’s where they take the classroom component.

    To date, the Obama administration has invested more than $300 million to deliver on President Obama’s challenge to double the number of registered apprenticeships within five years. Double and diversify, that’s the future of apprenticeship.

    The devil is in the details. If Trump reduces regs and qualify everything as an “apprenticeship” in order to get the number up the word won’t mean anything. There’s a risk there for people who take the training, too. They’re going to devote 5 years to this. It has to have value when they finish. If it has the government stamp of approval (registered) they should be able to rely on that as some indication of quality.

  47. 47.

    Kay

    @Anya:

    Apparently I have made it my mission to expose Ivanka as a fraud but it bugs me that she was sold as some kind of consolation prize- proof that Trump is a maverick. I think the relationship between Ivanka/Kushner and Trump was misunderstood because Ivanka and Kushner wanted it misunderstood – they wanted to be perceived as serious and influential but it’s really just a nepotism hire. They have fake jobs.

  48. 48.

    Betty Cracker

    @Kay: Pretty sure none of the Trumps were/are actually running their private sector businesses either. I mean, if you’re truly running a huge global organization with thousands of employees, wouldn’t you be missed if you decided to campaign full time for a year and a half? The difference is now we’re funding the office space for that pack of useless dilettantes.

  49. 49.

    Kay

    @Betty Cracker:

    Apprenticeships are only one piece of the German model – this is just as important:

    The idea of codetermination, i.e. the cooperation between management and workers in decision-making, has grown in popularity lately. We review the characteristics of codetermination in Germany and ask whether it could be a role model for the UK and the US.

    They have workers on company boards. By law. It’s really pretty nifty. We have a German company here- they make commercial fasteners- and they did a presentation at the middle school on how the company works- it’s different than US companies. They sent their employees to the school for 5 consecutive days- they really invested in doing a good job with the middle schoolers- the program itself was high quality.

  50. 50.

    Kay

    @Betty Cracker:

    They just replicate jobs that already exist. The Sec of Labor is going on the apprenticeship trip because that’s actually his job.

    “Reinventing government” was Al Gore’s job. These Ivanka/Kushner “jobs” are like tiny pieces of jobs that already exist. It’s busy work.

  51. 51.

    El Caganer

    @Kay: This sounds an awful lot like the way ‘internships’ have been abused for years – pay people some dirt stipend to perform full-time work ’cause they’re getting all that valuable experience, y’know. Same type con, different name.

  52. 52.

    Immanentize

    @El Caganer: There was a good Labor Board case out of New York a couple years back that found that those internships were actually es jobs that required pay.

    This threw University internship programs into question — and rightly so. The most objectionable thing colleges do, IMHO, is charge students tuition for credits ‘earned’ at internships which the school has no control over or educational interest in. It looks like theft to me.

  53. 53.

    Tenar Arha

    @Betty Cracker: Even I noticed when Sessions responses were like he had a duty to protect the President rather than the Constitution. He’s not the WH Counsel, he’s the country’s prosecutor.

  54. 54.

    JGabriel

    Anne Laurie @ Top:

    While the two men are undoubtedly soulmates, right now Sessions needs Trump a lot more than Trump needs Sessions …

    The lackey always needs the crime-boss more than the crime-boss needs the lackey.

  55. 55.

    Philbert

    @Anya: He also claims objectivity. Caps mine: Miller “From my perspective, my, I would say OBJECTIVE, perspective, I mean it was — it didn’t seem like there was any effort to try to get to a real question or get to the bottom of it. She was purely out there to shout down –“

  56. 56.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Amir Khalid:

    I do wonder why posh Southern families like a particular boy’s name so much that they repeat it for another two generations or perhaps more.

    Subconscious acknowledgement of endemic inbreeding.

  57. 57.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @SiubhanDuinne: Have you ever heard this shaggy-dog story?

    For years the CIA and KGB circled each other like sumo wrestlers in the great contest of Cold War espionage.

    One day, in a Viennese coffeehouse, the top players in their respective agencies met for the first time, quite by accident. And discovered two astounding facts: Their sexual orientations were toward their own gender. And they were immediately, desperately, wildly attracted to one another.

    They put their heads together &, using all their skills & knowledge of their trade, devised a plan to drop out of sight & live happily every after as a couple. Soon both had disappeared from their respective services’ radars.

    But not long after the CIA tracked them to a chalet in a remote corner of Switzerland, & immediately dispatched their top man in “wet work” to dispatch, not the Russian, but the American (for fear he would compromise their activities).

    The assassin stole up to the chalet one dark night, disarmed the security system, sneaked up the stairs to the master bedroom, & pushed the door open silently to view the two former agents asleep in the king-sized bed. As he drew his long-barrelled pistol & pointed it at the American, the Russian stirred, saw the glint of starlight on the barrel, understood in a flash what was about to transpire, & threw his body over that of his beloved, shouting…

    …& if no one can reconstruct from the context just what it was he shouted, I’ll be back to provide it in an hour or so, mkay? =;^D

  58. 58.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Uncle Cosmo: As promised:

    “Shoot if you must this old gay Red,
    But spare your country’s —!”

    (I leave off the final word to minimize offensiveness, which unfortunately is inextricably interwoven with the egregiously bad pun[chline].)

    Some years back I posted this (unexpurgated) on an international travel bulletin board as an experiment (which I specifically acknowledged as such). As expected, it left the vast majority of readers (including nearly all native English speakers, including Americans) puzzled and/or not especially amused. When I provided the context for the punchline, most of them agreed in a purely intellectual sense it was linguistically clever, haha, but… Which confirmed my suspicion that such “feghoots”* are even more exquisitely sensitive to shared experiences than humor in general.

    * A couple of generations back, one Reginald Bretnor (IIRC) published a number of such pleasantries, always entwined with his fictional character Ferdinand Feghoot, in the pulp magazine Fantasy & Science Fiction; shorn of its capital, the name entered the SF lexicon.

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