Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

The words do not have to be perfect.

This fight is for everything.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Come on, man.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

A Senator Walker would also be an insult to reason, rationality, and decency.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Military / Late Night Cheap Laffs Open Thread: What If A Female Soldier Were to See… A Man-Tassel?

Late Night Cheap Laffs Open Thread: What If A Female Soldier Were to See… A Man-Tassel?

by | 36 Comments

This post is in: , , , ,

To the fainting couches! This was Phyllis Schafly’s best argument against the ERA, back in 1973: “Your daughters will be drafted and forced to share showers with naked men!”

I had four brothers, so the sight of male genitalia once I was old enough to… shall we say… have joined the Army, didn’t come as a nasty shock. My female friends without male siblings had all done enough babysitting (changed enough diapers) to have a working idea of the relevant anatomy. And we didn’t even have the internet to educate us!

Reader Interactions

36Comments

  5. 5.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    Phyllis Schlafly is still dead. Her son Andy is still around. You want some cheap laughs? Go check out his “Conservapedia”. It’s like a cross between 1984 and the Christian version of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Psycho and sycophantic sysops galore. The expulsion of rationalist forces countering the bullshit led to http://rationalwiki.org. They entered into a cold war until Rationalwiki moved on to debunking conspiracy theories, pseudoscience, and bs RW politics. Check them out

  6. 6.

    mai naem mobile

    Colberts monologue is very funny tonight. He had the blackboard out so you know it’s going to be extra hilarious .

  9. 9.

    Mike in NC

    Yes, Phyllis Schafly is still dead, for which we can all take some small comfort.

  10. 10.

    TriassicSands

    And we didn’t even have the internet to educate us!

    According to the Google, the average age for American girls to have their first sexual intercourse is 17.2 years old. That means that the average female enlistee in the US military has done more than just seen the goods. They’ve sampled the goods (but maybe not seen them?).

  13. 13.

    TriassicSands

    @NotMax:

    Who knew that the slogan “An Army of one” referred to inches?

    Donald Trump.

    Bone spurs my butt. He got out of serving because his organ was too small. All the other men would have laughed at him. Bad for morale.

  14. 14.

    NotMax

    Daesh leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead, Syrian war monitor says

    There is no way to verify the claim as of yet, but the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights says Daesh leaders have confirmed the death to the organization’s activists
    [snip]
    The monitoring group, the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, is based in Britain and relies on a network of activists in Syria for its reporting. The group’s director, who goes by the pseudonym Rami Abdulrahman, told the Washington Post that Daesh leaders had confirmed Baghdadi’s death to the observatory’s activists in the Syrian province of Deir al-Zour.

    “We don’t know when. We don’t know how,” Abdulrahman said. Source

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    A federal judge on Tuesday halted the deportation of 1,400 Iraqi nationals, including many Christians fearing persecution, while courts review the orders to remove them from the US.

    Judge Mark Goldsmith issued a 24-page opinion asserting jurisdiction in the case over the objection of the Justice Department, which argued US district judges do not have jurisdiction.

    “This Court concludes that to enforce the Congressional mandate that district courts lack jurisdiction – despite the compelling context of this case – would expose Petitioners to the substantiated risk of death, torture, or other grave persecution before their legal claims can be tested in a court,” Goldsmith wrote in a 24-page opinion.

    Goldsmith earlier blocked the deportations while he considered whether he had jurisdiction over the case. Source

  19. 19.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @TriassicSands: If he went to ‘Nam, at any pay grade, he would have come back in a body bag. If Charlie didn’t get him, his buddies would have.

    “Bob” up above is a dipshit. This is the precise military term, used by infantrymen, to describe morans like Bob.

  22. 22.

    Joey Maloney

    One year we dressed our 23-pound tortie as Pyanfar Chanur (sparkly red pants and a drop earring) at an sf con masquerade. She spit and snarled all the way to a “Best Costume By A Non-Human” prize.

  23. 23.

    Patricia Kayden

    @NotMax: You’d think that after what Bush and company did to Iraq, the U.S. would be willing to let Iraqi nationals stay in this country. That’s the least we owe them.

  25. 25.

    Anne Laurie

    @Viva BrisVegas: Oh, that poor Sheltie! He looks so abused…

    Some dogs actually like costumes — and it’s not always the dogs you’d expect. Many years ago, for our AKC obedience club’s Halloween party, we brushed (child-safe) blue temporary coloring into our papillon Galliard’s fur, and designed a harness so he could wear big nylon buttefly wings and LED-flashing deelybobber ‘antennae’. Which he put up with, because that dog was a Bodhisattva. His friend Cleome the black Standard Poodle was dressed in a very dignified top hat & white collar, but she sulked all evening. On the other hand, an evil-minded Scotty best known for offering to nip anyone who attempt to befriend him came dressed in an angel costume — full white toga & glitter-festoon halo — and he was so fekkin’ pleased with himself, you could see him looking around for a lampshade to put on his head!

  27. 27.

    Anne Laurie

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    “Bob” up above is a dipshit. This is the precise military term, used by infantrymen, to describe morans like Bob.

    Nah, Bob’s mocking the Federalist dipshit who’s warning his fellows that some male soldiers might take advantage of the proposed new transgender-neutral Army rules to pretend that they’re gender-dismorphic, just so they won’t have to do as many push-ups. Any guy willing to go that far… well, I personally wouldn’t want him running loose with a gun, no matter which bathroom he was using. But I don’t think that’s a realistic scenario, it’s just a RWNJ weenie sharing his perverse fantasies with his twisted little friends.

  28. 28.

    Elizabelle

    @raven: love that Baby Bohdi pic.

    Someone on an overnight thread thought you’d gone missing. No idea why.

  30. 30.

    NorthLeft12

    Maybe high school graduation should come with a seminar on ‘your naked body does not actually send people into a frenzy, please chill.’

    I think the people who really need this are the “adult” school administrators who are constantly redefining the rules as to what female students can wear so that they will not set off the mating instinct of male students.

  32. 32.

    weaselone

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    I’m not sure you’re getting what Bob is saying. In the original tweet, he’s quoting or at least paraphrasing The Federalist article. The 2nd is snarking that same comment because it’s ridiculous to think someone would have a sex change instead of working out to make the requirements.

  35. 35.

    JDM

    @scav: Close to what I was going to say. I suspect the average young woman’s reaction to most naked males is to try to shield her chuckling. Or as Elaine said on Seinfeld: “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”.

  36. 36.

    Raoul

    From what I can tell at the Y-dub these days, many men cannot stand the idea that anyone see them naked, even for the, what 2 or 3 seconds from towel removal to underwear pull-up, so they do this absurd under-towel undie dance.
    I suppose it’s partly because men now know that us gays are, in fact, everywhere. But, newsflash, we’re not going to lunge because your little wiggler is wiggling for 3 seconds. Or even the entire duration of a shower (though said Y-dub had remodeled two of three facilities to eliminate communal, single gender showers).
    And if a brief, discreet leer from a homo makes you that uncomfortable, straight guy, I hope you never do that boob-stare-while-chick-talks-to-you thing. Sheesh.

Comments are closed.