Everyone has their favorite beach activities. Some people like to surf or paddleboard. Others like to body surf or boogie board. Others like playing horseshoes or flying their kite. This is what I enjoy:
I like to sit in the chair in the water and do nothing. I’ve done more nothing in the past few days than in as long as I can remember. Sometimes for hours straight. I have to move every half hour or so, either in or out depending on the tide.
Now if my father is reading this he’ll probably say “Borseshit- you do nothing all the time.” Which simply is not true. He is conflating “doing nothing” and “accomplishing nothing.” I will fully admit that there are long stretches in which I accomplish nothing, and a solid bit of time where I actually make things worse. But I am still doing something and my head is racing or I am thinking about things or the like.
But here, I am doing nothing. And I like it.
Baud
Why this tag?
John Cole Presents “This Fucking Old House”
sukabi
How do we know this isn’t just your re-enactment of “Weekend at Bernies”?
Major Major Major Major
Man, it’s like a freakin Bigfoot infestation here today.
John Cole
@Baud: why not you’re not the boss of me baud
Phylllis
I love nothing better than sitting on the beach just being quiet like that. One of the things we like best about Jekyll Island is that even in mid-July, it’s not the least bit crowded. Does limit the people-watching opportunities, but it’s worth it.
Nicole
And then you reach that wonderful moment where time actually slows down for you. We all need some time to sit and do nothing. Glad you’re having a glorious vacation!
efgoldman
Mine is never to get within miles of a beach
Villago Delenda Est
@John Cole: ESPECIALLY when Cole is on vacation, doing nothing, ala Seinfeld
Gelfling 545
Haven’t been to the beach in so long. Time to put it on the agenda.
schrodingers_cat
I has a jealous. Next time I am in India I am planning a long beach vacation to Goa, relatives be damned.
TriassicSands
But, John, by writing this and posting it you have “done” something and, some might argue, even “accomplished” something. You’ll have to do better, or, at least, less.
MomSense
I need to go to the beach. I live near sooo many gorgeous beaches and I haven’t been once this summer. SAD!
Doing nothing sounds heavenly, John. Glad you are enjoying your vacation.
Patricia Kayden
Enjoy doing nothing but relaxing by the beach. Looks like a nice way to spend some time, to be honest.
lamh36
I’ve always said that when I go on vacation, I’m going to “escape” my daily grind. I’m not into “active” vacationing. I like a nice hotel, some great sites to see, a tour or more…and just knowing I’m far enough away that no one is expecting me to do shit!!
Glad ur having a good time John.
schrodingers_cat
@John Cole: Why are you wearing a hatkini (burkini’s ugly sister) on the beach?
schrodingers_cat
@MomSense: Water is too cold in ME, though.
TaMara (HFG)
Beach time is meant for rest and recuperation. Maybe sailing if someone offers. But beyond that…nada. So I’m right there with you John.
Now excuse me, my niece wants to hike another mountain. I need a nap.
Steve in the ATL
@schrodingers_cat:
Good all-purpose sentiment. And it goes double for in-laws!
Schlemazel
@schrodingers_cat:
because skin cancer is a bitch
MomSense
@schrodingers_cat:
This year the water is especially cold.
raven
It ain’t that hard to throw some bait out there.
debbie
Amazing that a beach is that empty at this time of year.
FlyingToaster
@Baud:
It signifies all things domestic. Where have you been, under a rock?
I haven’t been to the beach, but I sent WarriorGirl to the Aquarium camp, and she spent the night on a harbor island!
different-church-lady
How do you do it?
The Simp in the Suit
Sitting at the shore like that is sort of like watching the weather channel all day. It’s calming because it never changes. But it’s always changing.
Iowa Old Lady
I love how empty that beach is.
Thoughtful David
@efgoldman:
Same here. And I’ve actually got real life experience with living on the beach, living the “dream”. I lived for two years in a house on the beach (literally; high tide came to about 10 m behind the house) in the tropics. I didn’t seek it out; it just happened.
And I hate the beach. Gorram sand. Gorram salt.
My favorite vacation would be at place measured in light-seconds from the beach.
Felonius Monk
@raven:
I’m sure Cole could throw the bait out there with no problem, but, given his proclivity for mis-adventure, he’d probably hook something that would drag him out sea – chair and all. Then we’d be concerned whether the Coast Guard could get there in time, especially given their current budget constraints. Better off for all of us if he just sits there quietly.
eemom
Totally agree. The ocean heals the soul.
Steeplejack
@John Cole:
If it’s not a security issue, could you give us at least a rough idea of where on the Eastern Seaboard you are? The geography is so varied, it would be nice to at least get within 100 miles or so—psychologically speaking, of course. Plus you might get some good restaurant recommendations.
Omnes Omnibus
@raven: Some of us don’t enjoy fishing.
raven
@Omnes Omnibus: bah
Kay
@Baud:
I can’t believe you still think the tags match the posts.
O. Felix Culpa
@Omnes Omnibus: @raven:
But all of us enjoy baiting.
Steeplejack
@Omnes Omnibus:
I guess he told you.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
I’m with you John. Ever since great whites started appearing all over the Cape, this is as far as I’m willing to go anymore, and I was raised by a Nova Scotian. My North Dakota raised mother who never really did cotton to the ocean has taken over my psyche and the ocean’s edge is where I will remain. Sharks are going to have to come to my house to get me.
O. Felix Culpa
@the Conster, la Citoyenne:
Candygram!
the Conster, la Citoyenne
@O. Felix Culpa:
Jehovah’s Witness!
p.a.
@TriassicSands:
He’s been coasting since he registered Dem.
rikyrah
That sounds wonderful, Cole.??
Suzanne
@efgoldman:
Oh, FEH. The Atlantic is awesome. It’s the ocean that doesn’t need to impress anybody because it’s awesome and it knows it. It is the Olenna Tyrell of oceans. The Pacific is the try-hard ocean…..constantly and slavishly trying to bowl you over with its blueness and its waves. Whatever.
I grew up swimming in Long Island Sound and I am miraculously still alive.
Patricia Kayden
@Omnes Omnibus: Never been fishing but love to eat fish. Fishing seems a little too funky to me and I’d feel sorry for the fish.
NotMax
Personal beach philosophy (YMMV):
We left the ocean millions of years ago for a reason and I see no compelling reason to go back in.
A Ghost To Most
@the Conster, la Citoyenne:
Very few of either when you are above tree line. That’s for me.
Gin & Tonic
@efgoldman: You live in the fucking Ocean State.
david
So, The Mooch lasted all of 0.0548 Friedman Units. Outstanding.
p.a.
@Patricia Kayden: If fish could scream there’d be a lot fewer fishers.
Patricia Kayden
@the Conster, la Citoyenne: LOL!! That’s probably why I’m not interested in camping anywhere that bears are known to live. I’m no match for an angry grizzly or black bear.
Patricia Kayden
@p.a. You got that right.
the Conster, la Citoyenne
@Patricia Kayden:
You don’t have to outrun the bear, just the person you’re camping with.
ETA: Camp with a disabled person.
raven
Oh boy, the food scolds are here.
kindness
Man I’d at least go swimming some John. You don’t know how lucky you are. At least on the east coast you have warm water moving up the coast. Out here in N Cal that ocean water is coming down from the artic/Alaska. It took me a while of living out here but I finally bought 3/4 & full wet suits so I could swim. Now with the right suit on, I don’t care that the water is cold.
M. Bouffant
Beaches are better at night. Less sun, fewer humanoids.
p.a.
@raven: What? You’re advocating bears eating people?
chris
@MomSense:
Not really, it just seems that way because the last few years have been so warm. In 2015 they were predicting awful things for the lobster fishers because the Gulf of Maine was 9 degrees warmer than normal. Last year I went bodysurfing at a place where before, even in August, the water would turn your toes blue in a couple minutes. This year, blue toes again. Maybe the Chinese hoax is having a well deserved rest after last year’s blowout summer…
raven
Some folks say there ain’t no bears in Arkansas
Some folks never seen a bear at all
Some folks say that bears go around eating babies raw
Some folks got a bear across the hall
? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?
Looks like a lot of fun! I loved the beach in LA last summer. Where is the blogfather at anyway?
raven
@kindness: The Manhattan Beach water was 62 in late June. I made about an hour every morning.
p.a.
@? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: Apparently an undisclosed location. From photographic evidence, he’s used the massive profits from this blog to purchase about 1/2 mile of beach and closed it off to the public.
Possibly by using bears as guards…
Ceci n est pas mon nym
That’s kind of what I look like at the beach too… except I’m not in the sun. I’m enjoying the shade under the umbrella. Sometimes I feel enough guilt pangs (an inner nag saying “you’re paying to be at the beach, do something beachy”) to get up, wade into the water, and get a little wet. Then I come back up to the umbrella, lay back down and zone out again.
My wife is the ocean person. I’m the lake and river person. It’s just a difference in where we grew up and what kind of water was closest.
Mnemosyne
@schrodingers_cat:
Because, like me, he’s so pale-skinned that he could potentially burst into flames if the sun catches him wrong. I’ve gotten second-degree sunburns on the tops of my ears, so I no longer care what people think of my ridiculously concealing sunwear. ?
Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)
I know what you mean here. I lived on a Caribbean beach town in Honduras for two years and almost never went in the water. I went months at a time without going into the water. I love being at the beach, but I don’t like swimming.
gene108
@NotMax:
And yet you live on an island, in the middle of the ocean, thousands of miles from land.
Omnes Omnibus
@Mnemosyne: @schrodingers_cat: White man’s burden.
Spanky
@debbie: @Iowa Old Lady: You can’t even see more than 10 feet of beach. That shot is straight out towards the sand bar, where the waves are breaking. There could be thousands of people on either side of the guy in the crazy hat, though probably not because of the creepy vibes and all. But back to the point, you can’t really see the beach.
Mnemosyne
@NotMax:
… says the guy who lives on an island. ?
raven
@gene108: And stays away from Jaws.
Spanky
Also too, now I’ve got an ad for “Plenty of Fish”, which is apparently a 40+ dating site. I blame raven.
JPL
I have to interrupt the vacation to inform you that Trump dictated son’s misleading statement on meeting with Russian lawyer.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-dictated-sons-misleading-statement-on-meeting-with-russian-lawyer/2017/07/31/04c94f96-73ae-11e7-8f39-eeb7d3a2d304_story.html?tid=sm_tw&utm_term=.f2096a900e53
Olivia
@p.a.: When my kids were little, my husband took them fishing. They came home to clean the fish and brought them into the house. I loudly told them no fish cleaning in the house and get to that damn pail outside. My husband asked me why he couldn’t clean them inside and I told him that I hated it when they scream when you cut their heads off. My 3 kids shrieked in unison at the thought of the fish screaming and my husband didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day after they cried that they never wanted to go fishing again. I’m a horrible mother.
schrodingers_cat
@Omnes Omnibus: You are funny!@Mnemosyne: I don’t burn except the tip of my nose. It starts peeling if I am out in the sun all day, I tan!
TenguPhule
@Baud:
No offense, but John Cole is a fucking old house at this point.
Exhibit A: His picture of him being beached.
gene108
@Gin & Tonic:
Rhode Island is a big fat fucking lie.
IT IS NOT AN ISLAND.
I do not expect much from its residents, who are unwilling to fix the name.
Mnemosyne
My favorite beach activity is tidepooling. Fortunately for me, the Los Angeles area has some great ones.
TenguPhule
@Olivia:
Did you tell your kids there was no Santa Claus when they were hoping for presents too?
schrodingers_cat
I have a funny fishing story, when I lived in ME, one of my neighbors was a Chinese couple, they would go fishing in the ocean. The husband was fond of my kittehs, so once he bought bosscat a fish that he had caught. Being a civilized kitteh, bosscat had no idea what to do with the fish, he ended dragging it all over our tiny apartment and playing with it. I ended up throwing it into the trash after hours of this treatment.
NoraLenderbee
@p.a.: I never thought the bears would eat mypeople.
Spanky
Never OT, Florida Man!
TenguPhule
@schrodingers_cat:
Wasn’t there an issue with salt water crocs over there?
schrodingers_cat
@TenguPhule: Are you calling him, a whale? Sizeist!
schrodingers_cat
@TenguPhule: First time, I am hearing of it.
TenguPhule
@the Conster, la Citoyenne:
Cue Landshark.
Felonius Monk
@O. Felix Culpa:
It’s even more enjoyable when you are the Master.
TenguPhule
@schrodingers_cat: Not sure of exact locations, given the size of the place
HRA
@Olivia: I am so glad I was not drinking anything when I read your story. That was a good one and something I would have done, too! :)
Mike J
@gene108: I think they should just go with Aquidneck Island.
TenguPhule
@Suzanne:
Isn’t it also the one that kills you if you look at it sideways?
TenguPhule
@M. Bouffant:
Obviously you’ve never been to a tropical beach.
Omnes Omnibus
@TenguPhule:
All oceans are that ocean.
p.a.
@Olivia: LMAO
@gene108: The state’s FULL NAME is… oh fuckit look it up…?
efgoldman
@Patricia Kayden:
Ditto. And we’re close enough to water that we CAN usually get really fresh seafood – just not from the big chain.
There’s a small local chain that buys much of its seafood locally, straight off the boats.
I tried fishing when i was an adolescent. Never even caught a perch or sunfish. Pah.
TenguPhule
@gene108:
To be fair, most of the popular beaches have become places you really don’t want to enter the water anymore.
TenguPhule
@Omnes Omnibus:
The Pacific tends to kill you when you stop looking at it.
efgoldman
@Gin & Tonic:
I do. More than an hour from the ocean.
I think I mentioned that there aren’t any really good seafood restaurants in this area.
Major Major Major Major
@Mnemosyne: I just don’t go outside. (Avoid sunburn with this one weird trick!)
Major Major Major Major
@TenguPhule:
I think there’s, like, a billion people who would disagree.
schrodingers_cat
@TenguPhule: I am thinking of the west coast of India, Goa, not Sunderbans, which are mangroves, also home to the Bengal tigers, on the east coast of India.
John Revolta
@schrodingers_cat:
Chang and Eng?
TenguPhule
@efgoldman:
You poor soul.
Can we pass the hat around to get the man some grilled fish on a bed of saffron rice?
Olivia
@TenguPhule: They need to know the truth about Santa sooner or later, right?
TenguPhule
@Major Major Major Major:
Most common form of death by drowning in our state happens when people look toward the shore and get surprised by rogue waves behind them.
Gin & Tonic
@gene108: Part of it is. That’s why it’s called The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. But that’s too long to fit on a license plate.
Mike in NC
We have some very nice beaches, but this time of year they’re jam-packed with families from Ohio and Tennessee. After Labor Day we locals can reclaim them. Even in the ‘winter’ they’re pleasant to walk on or just sit and read a book.
TenguPhule
@Olivia: You monster.
schrodingers_cat
@John Revolta: I didn’t get your joke, sorry.
Mnemosyne
@JPL:
Of course he did. Because narcissists are fucking control freaks.
Major Major Major Major
@TenguPhule: there’s a beach in Iceland like that.
efgoldman
@TenguPhule:
The point of eating out is EATING OUT, not cooking something at home you might order if you were eating out.
Mnemosyne
@schrodingers_cat:
As Julia Sweeney once said, my skin is genetically engineered for a rainy forest in Ireland (or a mountaintop in northern Italy), so I have pretty much zero melanin. A faint ecru color is my version of a suntan.
Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA
Three things I miss about New York — sarcasm, flat terrain (better for bicycling), and the ocean. I just need to win the lottery a few times and then I’m definitely moving back.
Glad to see peace and contentment in your life, John.
TenguPhule
@efgoldman: Sorry, I meant to be genuinely concerned. That is a travesty.
Gin & Tonic
@TenguPhule: He just doesn’t want to drive to where the good seafood restaurants are. They are, shockingly, down by the water.
TenguPhule
@Major Major Major Major:
But does it normally happen when they’re in the water? Or just when they’re walking on the shore next to the water?
PsiFighter37
Being reported that Cheeto personally dictated Junior’s misleading statement about Russian adoptions. God, am I going to LOVE seeing his ass thrown in the slammer.
Mnemosyne
@Major Major Major Major:
They have things l like outdoors, like trees and tidepools. I just have to make sure to sunscreen up. And put on my long-sleeved shirt. And nerdy hat. And sunglasses.
TenguPhule
@PsiFighter37:
Yeah, if we only had a law enforcement agency that could do it.
Major Major Major Major
@TenguPhule: next to. There are signs everywhere warning you to watch out for “rogue waves.”
ETA: I guess it would happen while you’re in the water too but nobody goes in the water. It’s iceland.
efgoldman
@Gin & Tonic:
Actually, I’m used to a lifetime in the near Western suburbs of Boston, where there’s some of everything easily available.
We did drive down to Point Judith in June and had a terrific, fresh dinner. But an hour and a quarter drive each way is not my idea of a good time.
Around here, whether it’s a sub/pizza place or elegant and expensive, you can find whatever you want as long as it’s Italian.
JPL
@Mnemosyne: I’m so glad that Kelly is controlling the leaks coming out of the White House.
schrodingers_cat
@Mnemosyne: The foundation I use changes from season to season, light in winter and medium in the summer. By the end of the winter I am dying to go outside in the sun. I love the sun but not necessarily the sweltering hot weather.
TenguPhule
@Major Major Major Major: We get both, but the ones in the water are more common. The Pacific is deceptively friendly at the beach until it is not. Its something pounded into our heads and we still have locals who forget just once…..
schrodingers_cat
@TenguPhule: How is the ocean surrounding Hawaii, is the water warm?
Olivia
@TenguPhule: Yeah, I know. My kids somehow managed to make it out of childhood safely.
JPL
Twitter is reminding me that Trump talked about adoptions in another unreported meeting with Putin also. I think that someone leaked the story in order to force Trump to sign the sanction bill on his desk.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@JPL: wasn’t that his second, late-reported conversation with Putin at the G20 dinner?
Jeffro
@JPL: pretty sure this one was Priebus
Gvg
My favorite beach activity is walking in fall when no one is around, it’s a bit too cool and the wind blows whistling endlessly over the sand. The sand wind sound with waves is to me very soothing. I like to walk and dream think. People are back in school or work and too busy to crowd the beaches in fall and in Florida the temps are lovely. I can really unwind at that time of year. I used to take a week off after the semester start up busy period was past and go to the beach. Haven’t had time in years but have been wanting too. We have friends I can stay with. The lady who used to baby sit me 50 years ago is still my parents friend and live near the beach. I also remember fondly some beach cabin rentals in Florida and the Virgin Isles…
schrodingers_cat
@JPL: Has he signed it?
Mike J
@TenguPhule:
The ocean simply does not give a shit about you or anybody else. I’ve never heard an actual sailor talk all that “the ocean is a lady” bullshit.
Gin & Tonic
@efgoldman: A lot of the newer, trendier places in PVD will always have some seafood, fresh and local, but in a varied menu. I’m talking about places like Birch, New Rivers, Gracie’s, Nick’s, Broadway Bistro, I can go on. Yes, I like to eat. Nick’s, for instance, always has locally sourced seafood of several kinds.
schrodingers_cat
@Mike J: Its not and the tides come in quickly. Still, I miss being not close to the ocean.
JPL
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: yes
@schrodingers_cat: Last I read, which was an hour ago, he was still undecided. I assume now that he will have no choice but have a nice signing ceremony. After that, I hope Putin releases any information that he has.
Girls can dream!
John Revolta
@schrodingers_cat: I was goofing on your…………numerology.
lamh36
@JPL: ‘did ya see this?
TenguPhule
@schrodingers_cat:
Depends on the beach and the time of year.
Its relatively warm compared to most other places, but still refreshingly cool.
Or, just cold enough to be enjoyable and not enough to kill you.
schrodingers_cat
@TenguPhule: Sounds nice, Atlantic ocean on the New England coast is too bloody cold for me.
Major Major Major Major
@schrodingers_cat: Hawaii is very nice! The reputation is quite deserved.
TenguPhule
@schrodingers_cat: It is. Sadly, been years since I could go. And yes, I am aware of the irony.
Mnemosyne
@schrodingers_cat:
Chang and Eng Butler were the original famous conjoined “Siamese Twins.” (They married American sisters, which is why their last name was Butler.)
Tidbit from Wikipedia that I didn’t know: they were born in Siam (now Thailand) to ethnically Chinese (and Chinese-Malay) parents, so they were known locally as the “Chinese twins.”
JPL
@lamh36: Yup. I interrupted the vacay at comment 69. It does appear that the multiple conversations with Putin, helped frame the cover-up. I love Marty Baron of the Post, because he is willing to go after anyone for the truth.
schrodingers_cat
@Mnemosyne: Thanks, that’s the first thing that came up in the google search too.
Davebo
@raven: Why let fish screw up a perfect afternoon?
Just One More Canuck
@John Cole: He will be in 2020, and he’ll send Poco to pee on your leg
Sitting here doing nothing keeps me busy all day
Just One More Canuck
@Patricia Kayden: You don’t have to go camping to run into bears. A friend of mine in suburban Vancouver just sent me a video of a black bear in her back yard
Feebog
Some of the best beaches in the world are in the Virgin Islands. One of my favorites is Spring bay in Virgin Gorda, BVI. Right next to the baths, which are huge boulders that form caves you can wander through. Also some great snorkeling.
schrodingers_cat
@Just One More Canuck: I have seen a mama black bear with two little cubs on the side of interstate once in ME. They looked so cuddly.
Omnes Omnibus
@Just One More Canuck: A few years ago, my brother was pulling out of the driveway in the middle of a small city in central Wisconsin and saw a black bear just up the street. He called my s-i-l and said, “Honey, I wouldn’t let the kids play outside right now.”
David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch says
Brendan in NC
@schrodingers_cat: That’s where I’m headed later this month – just south of Portland. Then the Outer Banks in September…
Burnspbesq
@MomSense:
Careful where you go. One of my siblings lives in Gorham, and my FB feed was full of news stories this morning re human waste all over the place in OOB due to the lack of public toilets.
Amir Khalid
When I see white people sitting/lying in the hot sun like that, I worry.
Richard Shindledecker
I grew up on the bay of Maine so all water is warm to me – now I’m in North Carolina where the water actually is warm – strange and good for an old man.
jmw
You deserve every moment of nothing you can fit into your trip.
dlw32
Nothing is better on this earth than sitting on the beach watching the waves. If you can’t find peace doing that you either need therapy or are a different person than I am. :)
Seriously, I love staring at the ocean. I’ll go in… in my younger days I’d body-surf in the waves… and I’ll bring a book (paper, not electronic… see I’m old)… but to recover from the madness that is my non-beach life… nothing beats just watching the waves.
Aardvark Cheeselog
Doing Nothing is much underrated.