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No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

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In my day, never was longer.

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You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Late Night Roundup: Statler, Waldorf & Groucho Review Trump’s “Afghanistan” Speech

Late Night Roundup: Statler, Waldorf & Groucho Review Trump’s “Afghanistan” Speech

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“Let’s Get This Over With” edition:


Reader Interactions

26Comments

  1. 1.

    Villago Delenda Est

    The vile Villager pundits cannot be rounded up and placed up against a wall soon enough.

  2. 2.

    Yutsano

    Didn’t watch, Can’t stand watching Dolt45 talk. Even in his native Neanderthal*.

    *with apologies to all Neanderthals.

  3. 3.

    EBT

    “Kill them all and let god sort them out” is the plan a lot of the right really fucking wants.

  4. 4.

    Adria McDowell

    We’ll still have combat troops in AFG when my kid turns 18, and she’s five. Utterly ridiculous.

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    So Trump’s big announcement on Afghanistan was … basically nothing? I expected as much. I am a bit disappointed, though, that he didn’t beclown himself again with some beyond-the-pale adlib..

  8. 8.

    Brachiator

    So let me get this straight. We don’t have ambassadors for Afghanistan or South Korea, and we don’t have State Department people in place for various Asia desks.

    Is this another example of running the country like a business? Lean and mean. Not weighed down by reality or any need for foreign policy expertise?

  11. 11.

    jl

    @Brachiator:

    ” We don’t have ambassadors for Afghanistan ”

    Trump said we aren’t doing state building. See, he’s thought this all through. /s

  12. 12.

    EBT

    So we are going to contract like pre WWI isolationist America, until someone smacks at us. Except we have long range bombs and missiles.

  13. 13.

    Anne Laurie

    @Amir Khalid:

    I am a bit disappointed, though, that he didn’t beclown himself again with some beyond-the-pale adlib..

    Wait for his morning Twitter dump — he’s bound to have some profoundly clueless / offensive afterthoughts. Or attacks on people who he believes have been VERY UNFAIR to keep saying BAD! stuff like Same as President Obama’s policy only not as coherent or Thanks to everyone who called HRC a warmonger or What’s with all the sniffing, is he back on the… sudafed again?

  15. 15.

    TheMightyTrowel

    @Major Major Major Major: You made me think of this great bit by Eddie Izzard.

    Hitler never played risk when he was a kid. Cause you know playing Risk you could never hold on to Asia. That Asia-eastern European area. 7 extra men at the beginning of every round, but you could never hold it!

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    @NotMax:
    Per the report, half of that money is for a five-bed hospital on base. Five beds. US$50 million for each one, to replace an existing 12-bed hospital. Sounds way out of whack..

  17. 17.

    Sloane Ranger

    OK. Full disclosure, I did not hear speech but from reports it seems he’s been sold on a John Wayne approach of ‘let’s kill terrorists” rather than namby-pamby kumbeya Nation building.

    Taken to its logical conclusion doesn’t this approach lead to the US needing to have a permanent presence in Afghanistan for the foreseeable future and it’s troops becoming another armed group, granted better trained with better arms than others?

    Also, I thought Afghanistan was a NATO operation. Has he consulted with allies about this?

  18. 18.

    Amir Khalid

    @Sloane Ranger:
    Don’t forget, Trump’s plan also includes being less careful about ensuring the Afghans killed by the US military are indeed terrorists. The resulting rise in deaths of children and other noncombatants will no doubt make the people of Afghanistan think more kindly of America.

  19. 19.

    Sloane Ranger

    @Amir Khalid: Exactly, just another group killing those it considers enemies. Advantage – better training, better arms than others.

    Disadvantages – less knowledge of terrain and no or certainly diminishing levels of local support due to inability or unwillingness to distinguish between enemies, potential allies and neutrals.

    Result = More terrorists created for every one killed.

  20. 20.

    sm*t cl*de

    “We are not nation building again,”

    Other countries rationalise their participation in the occupation of Afghanistan precisely on the grounds that it is nation-building, but if that goal has officially been abandoned, we’re all happy to go home.

  21. 21.

    Another Scott

    @Amir Khalid: But you don’t understand. Each of those beds is for the “worst of the worst”. You know, those terrorist guys who at 75 can cloud men’s minds and suddenly become ten feet tall and have the strength of 30 men. Those WotW guys are like Transformers. Beds for such monsters are really, really expensive.

    (groucho-roll-eyes.gif)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  23. 23.

    Sloane Ranger

    UK news just reported that Government Minister has welcomed Trump’s commitment to send more troops to Afghanistan and pointed out that the UK already increased troop numbers in June.

    Thinking/hoping this is a diplomatic FU to DOLTUS.

  24. 24.

    Kolohe

    @Dman:
    Trump might have been talking about Abdullah Abdullah. He was given a title of “Chief Executive”, sometimes rendered as “Prime Minister” in the press, in order to resolve the (somewhat still ongoing) dispute over the last (Afghan) Presidential election.

  25. 25.

    Chris

    @Sloane Ranger:

    OK. Full disclosure, I did not hear speech but from reports it seems he’s been sold on a John Wayne approach of ‘let’s kill terrorists” rather than namby-pamby kumbeya Nation building.

    Yeah, as near as I can tell, he’s just doing the foreign policy version of “government should only be about killing, beating, and jailing people, not namby-pamby welfare state handouts to the lazy undeserving blacks and browns!”

  26. 26.

    gratuitous

    Killing more brown people, send a bunch of kids to Afghanistan who aren’t related to anyone in the national media, and some other vagaries, and the national media swoon over how presidential Trump sounded. Nauseating.

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