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You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Late Night Schadenfreude Open Thread: Albino Manatee Slapfight!

Late Night Schadenfreude Open Thread: Albino Manatee Slapfight!

by Anne Laurie|  September 8, 20173:11 am| 29 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Immigration, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Assholes

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"They need illegal aliens to fill the churches" — Steve Bannon on @CardinalDolan opposing Trump on DACA https://t.co/8PFFiuSxqX

— Shane Goldmacher (@ShaneGoldmacher) September 7, 2017

WATCH: @CharlieRose talks with Steve Bannon in his first extensive interview since leaving Trump admin: https://t.co/Wx8n23hIvF @60Minutes pic.twitter.com/FmNjO7ANEk

— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) September 7, 2017

Anybody the least bit shocked that “good Catholic” Bannon would attack “Prince of the Church” Dolan did not grow up in the Catholic dioceses of my and their childhoods. The cold war between the Real Americans (those a generation or two away from Ellis Island) and Those Shuffling Newcomers has been going on since at least the 1860s, when the staid Germans deplored the semi-civilized Irish incomers. By the 1960s, in my neighborhood, it was the Irish against the Italians — with occasional joint forays against the Puerto Ricans who were just beginning to make inroads across the river in Manhattan. (I’m told that these days, back in the neighborhood, it’s the Dominicans versus the Vietnamese worshippers, using much the same insults.) And the priests are always assumed to be clerkly mercenaries who’ll throw their weight behind whichever clan offers them the most tribute.

Since I walked away from ‘the Church’ on the day of my high school graduation, in this particular battle I have no trouble whatsoever rooting for injuries!
.

NEW: Cardinal Dolan slams Steve Bannon https://t.co/wTS1dcBnXD pic.twitter.com/JKkc5kwuPl

— Justin Miller (@justinjm1) September 7, 2017

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Previous Post: « So I Elected an Axe Murderer
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Reader Interactions

29Comments

  1. 1.

    Sab

    September 8, 2017 at 3:19 am

    I like your post but the title demonized manatees, who don’t deserve to be demonized.

    But still, a very clever title.

  2. 2.

    Villago Delenda Est

    September 8, 2017 at 3:23 am

    So, Bannon is about as serious at his Catholicism as Paul Ryan is.

    Rethuglican scum.

  3. 3.

    SRW1

    September 8, 2017 at 3:26 am

    Cardinal Dolan slams Steve Bannon

    Oh well, in the good old days Dolan would have made him go to Canossa and wait a few days in the snow. The RCC has gone soft.

  4. 4.

    jl

    September 8, 2017 at 3:31 am

    If there is a two-fisted drinking contest during the interview, I might watch it. Some one let me know after it comes out.
    Or, should be ‘four-fisted’?

    I think Bannon is truly nuts. He’s evil, and ignorant and racist. But also truly nuts. Gonzo nuts.

  5. 5.

    jl

    September 8, 2017 at 3:32 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: For some reason, you’re never called a cafeteria Catholic if you only pick the raw bloody red meat. I’m not sure why it works that way, but seems to be the case.

  6. 6.

    lgerard

    September 8, 2017 at 3:41 am

    Where is Pope Bill Donahue in all this?

  7. 7.

    Amir Khalid

    September 8, 2017 at 4:02 am

    I gotta vent.

    The online marketplace where I found The Girl, Lazada.com.my, has really disappointed me today. I’d ordered (and paid for) a cheap digital watch to replace my old Casio, whose broken strap would have cost a ridiculous RM100 (about US$25) to replace — a cheap RM15 standard strap wouldn’t fit the watch. The new watch I picked was listed at RM34. I wasn’t expecting anything great, just a functioning watch.

    The package came late this morning. The delivery order was stuck to the envelope, and the item description matched my order. The vendor’s address on it was a room somewhere on Dongfang Road in Shanghai. Uh-oh.

    I opened the package and found … a tiny pink suction cup, one inch in diameter, on an inch-long “handle”. A very miniature bathroom plunger. Straight away I went to the Lazada website and started a chat session with a customer service rep to complain. She promised to email me, as soon as the chat session was over, the procedure for claiming a refund.

    That was around 13:00. It’s 16:00 and I’m still waiting for that email.

  8. 8.

    Amir Khalid

    September 8, 2017 at 4:05 am

    I take it Steve Bannon is not a regular churchgoer.

  9. 9.

    Hkedi [Kang T. Q.]

    September 8, 2017 at 4:15 am

    @Amir Khalid: It’s probably the burning sensation he gets whenever he steps on hallowed ground….. /s

  10. 10.

    Sab

    September 8, 2017 at 4:27 am

    @lgerard: Still bitching about “Dogma”?

  11. 11.

    Calming Influence

    September 8, 2017 at 5:38 am

    @Amir Khalid: Until you get a new digital watch: If you stick the miniature bathroom plunger on a horizontal surface in an outside area, the tiny handle will cast a shadow that will allow you to estimate the time of day.

    Fun fact! This is also the way many climate-change-denying Republican Floridians will be telling time for the next few weeks!

    True fact: That’s not a fun fact, it’s just snark.

  12. 12.

    Jeff

    September 8, 2017 at 5:40 am

    When grifters collide.

  13. 13.

    Elizabelle

    September 8, 2017 at 6:45 am

    CBS didn’t spell his name right on the chyron (?).

  14. 14.

    Montanareddog

    September 8, 2017 at 6:53 am

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    So, Bannon is about as serious at his Catholicism as Paul Ryan is.

    Oh, I am sure thrice-divorced Stephen K. Bannon is unmatched in his adherence to Catholic doctrine

  15. 15.

    satby

    September 8, 2017 at 7:40 am

    @Amir Khalid: ? sorry Amir.

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    September 8, 2017 at 7:57 am

    @satby:
    I’m thinking, or maybe I cut the strap off my old watch and use it as a pocket watch. Or just use my phone when I need to know the time.

  17. 17.

    Mike in NC

    September 8, 2017 at 8:47 am

    Steve Bannon in a Roman collar fits every stereotype of the drunken Irish pedofile priest.

  18. 18.

    chopper

    September 8, 2017 at 8:51 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    a tiny pink suction cup, one inch in diameter, on an inch-long “handle”. A very miniature bathroom plunger.

    I can see how they’d confuse that order with one for a digital watch.

  19. 19.

    David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch

    September 8, 2017 at 8:53 am

    I can’t believe Charlie Rose still has a tee vee show.

  20. 20.

    Gvg

    September 8, 2017 at 9:03 am

    Dolan as in covering up pedophile priest’s Dolan? Can we get a real priest’s opinion? I don’t want to ever hear from that guy even if he says things I agree on. He should be shunned. No air time.

    Bannon doesn’t strike me as religious. Didn’t know he claimed to be and don’t believe he knows anything about it, and I am an atheist.

    I do think a reason the claim to be religious are losing influence, is that the most prominent ones are so obviously bad people that they are discrediting what they claim to be. They are so full of them selves they don’t realize. They also don’t see the disconnect between themselves and what the bible says. Sullivan called them christianists, I think even that is too flattering. They are heathan mammon worshippers. Naturally they lose influence.

  21. 21.

    Chris

    September 8, 2017 at 9:38 am

    Anybody the least bit shocked that “good Catholic” Bannon would attack “Prince of the Church” Dolan did not grow up in the Catholic dioceses of my and their childhoods. The cold war between the Real Americans (those a generation or two away from Ellis Island) and Those Shuffling Newcomers has been going on since at least the 1860s, when the staid Germans deplored the semi-civilized Irish incomers. By the 1960s, in my neighborhood, it was the Irish against the Italians — with occasional joint forays against the Puerto Ricans who were just beginning to make inroads across the river in Manhattan. (I’m told that these days, back in the neighborhood, it’s the Dominicans versus the Vietnamese worshippers, using much the same insults.) And the priests are always assumed to be clerkly mercenaries who’ll throw their weight behind whichever clan offers them the most tribute.

    When I visited my Italian friend in Pittsburgh years ago, this was still a sore point with her grandmother. The nearest church to their home is one that she refuses to set foot in to this day, because while nowadays it’s a generic church with no ethnic affiliation, in her day, it was the German church – and she still remembers herself and the other Italians regularly getting rocks thrown at them by the people who went there. (And by the nearby Irish, too).

    In the case of Steve Bannon, I’d say this overlaps nicely with the tendency of a lot of right-wing Catholics to decry the Church as becoming soft, diluted, and liberal. Left-wing Catholics disagree with the Church too, but the arguments there usually have to do with freedom of religion and social evolution, not Being True Originalist Catholics. Right-wing Catholics have an unpleasant tendency to take all the prejudices and preferences they’ve amassed (many of which they picked up by osmosis from mainstream society, which is to say, from the WASPs, and are often actually opposed to Catholic tradition – like the hatred for immigrants, the hatred for the safety net, and the hostility to Darwinism and climate science), assume that that’s what the Catholic Church is supposed to look like, and then blame the Church whenever it doesn’t live up to their erroneous vision of it.

  22. 22.

    Chris

    September 8, 2017 at 9:42 am

    @Gvg:

    Bannon doesn’t strike me as religious.

    There are a lot of people for whom religion is stupendously important, but as a tribal identity, not as a moral code.

    North Irish joke:

    “What are you, a Catholic or a Protestant?”
    “Oh, I’m an atheist.”
    “A Catholic atheist, or a Protestant atheist?”
    “Neither! It means I don’t believe in God at all!”
    “Yes, but which God is it that you don’t believe in? The Catholic God, or the Protestant God?”

  23. 23.

    StringOnAStick

    September 8, 2017 at 9:54 am

    @Amir Khalid: That’s what drives me nuts about Casio watches; the strap breaks long before the watch croaks and replacing the strap is impossible. I have a pile of 4 working watches with broken straps. I need a watch that I can wash with soap after work and that I can use while hiking, biking, SUPing, etc. I’m a fairly small person so I want a small watch, not a huge altimeter multi-hundreds chunk on my arm. I just don’t like the wastefulness of disposable watches. For my current one I’ve vowed to be very careful and bend the strap as little as possible when I put it on hoping that will make it last longer. We’ll see how this experiment goes.

  24. 24.

    Bob Collins

    September 8, 2017 at 10:42 am

    Back in the early 50s, the Catholic church I attended as a kid had Sunday masses in English, Spanish, and Italian. The priests (all Italian) could give sermons in all three languages. The masses were at separate fixed times.

  25. 25.

    J R in WV

    September 8, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    @jl:

    You have to work hard to be ignorant after graduating from Annapolis, don’t you? Not that willful ignorance isn’t a thing. Right, Steve?

  26. 26.

    HyperSphericalCow

    September 8, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    @Chris: I grew up with “white ethnic” grandparents in Pittsburgh (Irish in their case), and I saw the same thing. You didn’t attend a Catholic church – you went to the Irish Catholic church, or the Italian Catholic church, or the Polish Catholic church, etc.

  27. 27.

    Uncle Cosmo

    September 8, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    [T]he priests are always assumed to be clerkly mercenaries who’ll throw their weight behind whichever clan offers them the most tribute.

    “The priests” have enough agita trying to run their parishes on what the dioceses allow them to keep from the collections. It’s the higher hierarchy who are the mercs. Been that way for hunnerts of years – & while Pope Frankie seems to be making a dent in it, it’s a small dent still.

    The key to understanding OHCAAC (the One Holy Catholic & Apostolic church) lies in three little words: Follow. The. Money. (E.g., the Roman-collar brigade brushed off the pedophile allegations – until the lawsuits started.)

  28. 28.

    Uncle Cosmo

    September 8, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    @HyperSphericalCow: Good point. Subtribes within the big tribe.

    For years as an Italoamerican kid I wondered why we attended the Polish church just inside the Baltimore city limits when the church of the German-Italian parish in the county was just as close. Turned out that when my folks first came to town, long before I was born, they rented rooms only 3 blocks from the former, & it got to be a habit. In those days for casual Catholics there wasn’t a lot of difference, since all the masses were in equally incomprehensible Latin. The biggest difference was on the stations of the cross in the lower church, labeled in a language with words that had 15 letters & 2 vowels, one of which was the y at the end. That, & the fact that the Polish Women’s Alliance ruled the parish with an iron fist…

  29. 29.

    Best Peasant

    September 8, 2017 at 9:05 pm

    I object to the title. When was the last time you saw a manatee with gin blossoms?

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