Spare a thought for commentor Tissue-Thin Pseudonym (JMN) tonight…
I’ll never see him again; all I have is memories.
I remember finding him huddled under the tire of our car on a February morning when it was 0 degrees. He wasn’t moving anywhere, so our only choices were to take him in or run him over. He had worms and a horrible case of ear mites, so we didn’t bother trying to find the owner who had let him get into such rough shape.
I remember the cat who loved to pester Monster until she completely lost it and would repeatedly smack him in the head. He absorbed his punishment without complaint: that’s the price you pay if you pester the top cat. Dirk had no problem being at the bottom, but he wasn’t going to let Monster shirk her responsibilities.
I remember that he picked up more nicknames than any other cat I’ve had. One of them was Bus Person, from his habit of wandering around the house muttering to himself, like that guy who gets on the bus and you hope doesn’t sit next to you. He was loud enough to be heard from three rooms away.
I remember the way that he and Eddie would wrestle. The goal was to pin the other so that you could groom him. It was very sweet.
I also remember how quickly he grasped that Eddie didn’t want to wrestle anymore during the last year of his life. He treated sick, three-legged Eddie with great gentleness.
I remember how annoyed he got when three month old Harry followed him everywhere around the house. Harry worshipped him, and Dirk learned first to tolerate it, and then to enjoy it. And Dirk’s gentleness with Eddie was repaid by Harry seeking him out and snuggling with him when Dirk was declining. Harry still worships him, and I’m not looking forward to tonight, when Harry starts to realize that Dirk isn’t coming back.
I remember Dirk losing weight and kidney function over the last two years. My plan was to let him decide when to check out, when he stopped eating, but he defeated that. He kept eating, even as his kidneys and heart and brain failed him. He kept trying to move around even when he struggled to keep his paws underneath him. The last few weeks, he adopted a sprawled out eating stance as his hind legs, especially the left one, slid to the sides.
And I remember his exquisitely soft fur, the last thing I got to experience of him, even after he had stopped breathing. I’ll be cleaning that fur off of everything I own for years still.
I miss him so much, and it’s only been an hour.
Omnes Omnibus
Condolences TTP.
satby
Tears! What a beautiful tribute to a great cat, who repaid your rescue of him with love for 17 years.You saved his life back then, and he was grateful. They always are. Glad you had so many wonderful years with him. Condolences again to you and Harry.
TaMara (HFG)
How lucky was Dirk, he was loved, cared for by one of the best here at BJ. I know you’ll miss him, Tissue-Thin Pseudonym (JMN) and I’m sorry for your loss. [[[hugs]]]
And I’m glad you had a few more days with him before you said goodbye.
JPL
What a beautiful tribute. I so sorry for your loss.
Aleta
What a cat. I’m so sorry. Totally sucks and I’m sorry.
jl
Beautiful cat and looks like real sweetie. Condolences to Tissue-Thin Pseudonym.
SiubhanDuinne
Oh, what a beautiful cat! Thank you, TTP/JMN, for the lovely photos and the memories. I know — well, in truth, most of us here at BJ know — the torment you’re going through tonight. I miss him. Did I do enough? I waited too long, didn’t I? I didn’t make the decision soon enough, did I?
I know you’re doing that, asking yourself those questions. Dirk is fine. For the past several hours, he’s been lapping up the cream that rose to the top of the Milky Way. He is happy, and out of pain. And he is grateful that you released him from his earthly discomfort.
And yes, it sucks mightily.
SgrAstar
Oh! Your tribute to Dirk is so heartfelt. He was wonderful, and so are you. Thank you….and, who’s been cutting onions around here!!!!
John Cole
Dirk looked like such a good boy. I am so sorry.
kindness
Bless you. It’s always terrible losing one of your kids.
PST
That’s beautiful. It sets off all my memories of our family’s departed cats.
Ohio Mom
I am so, so sorry. There really aren’t words for such a great loss. That it was long expected doesn’t make it any easier. Please be extra kind to yourself, Tissue Thin.
CarolDuhart2
Condolences, TTP. No elegant words here, just knowing that a long friendship has just ended.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
The second photo is him with Harry not long after Harry arrived. His expression is because Harry is in his spot on the desk. Of course, Harry probably took it because he saw Dirk in it so often.
Thank you, everyone. This was the third cat I’ve said goodbye to in the last 5 1/2 years. Harry is six and Finnick just over a year old, so I’m really hoping it’s a decade before I have to do this again.
Sandia Blanca
I’ve been following your recent comments about Dirk, and send my heartfelt sympathies to you. Each pet makes its own place in your heart, and you will always treasure him there.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
Because of my autism, I form emotional connections with animals in ways I just can’t with other humans. It makes having pets a necessity in my life, but also makes losing them so much harder.
Mingobat f/k/a Karen in GA
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful boy. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you found each other that cold February morning.
ThresherK
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Three in under six years! Condolences term our home.
Virginia
Oh. Such a beautiful tribute. Dirk was a good and lucky boy. The memories you have will sustain you for years. He loved you greatly.
errg
What a beautiful tribute. What a sweet cat, and he was lucky to find you.
Rob Lll
TTP, I’m very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful cat. Hoping that your happy memories of him provide some consolation.
MomSense
I’m so sorry, TTP. Dirk was a beauty with glorious, shiny fur and bright eyes.
? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?
Sorry about Dirk, TTP. My cat’s getting up there in years (16 or so) and has diabetes. Thankfully he’s still in good health, but you never know when they might decline.
Dirk seemed like a cool kitty!
(((CassandraLeo)))
My condolences. As a fellow non-neurotypical, I completely understand what you mean about the strong bonds with pets. It sucks so much to lose them.
Exurban Mom
So very sorry for your loss, TTP. Losing animals is awful, even when you understand it’s best for them to leave these earthly pains behind.
Bobby Thomson
Condolences, TTP. He reminds me of the late Meg the Cat.
Nicole
I’m so sorry, TTP. He was such a lucky cat, that you found him. I’m glad he was able to pay you back in joy and love for so many years.
Major Major Major Major
RIP, Dirk. You were lucky to have had each other.
Mobil RoonieRoo
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m still grieving the loss of my Roo early this year but being part of te cat loving BJ community really does help. Your Dirk memories are precious and I appreciate your sharing his story with us.
ArchTeryx
I’m very sorry to hear this…Dirk reminds me of my Ginger Tabby Derp Cat – he likes to pester the house alpha until he gets smacked, too. Maybe a little cat story will help ease the pain (or at least distract a bit from it).
One time, my fiancee was feeding the Dark Prince, our black alpha cat that’s mostly feral – he doesn’t hang with most of us, save his One Person. My lady being a critter person, she was trying to make friends with Dark by tossing some sliced turkey to him. Then one piece stuck to his head.
He looked up at it, crosseyed.
0.75 seconds later, the Ginger Derp sees this and uncorks a full on pounce right into Dark Prince’s face. That particular catfight was absolutely epic – “cartoon ball of violence” is a perfect description – but Derp got away with the food!
Dumb as a bag of hammers, but you have to give that blonde derp of a cat points for chutzpah at least.
Kristine
A beautiful tribute to Dirk–wiping away tears now.
You were good for one another. It’s never for long enough.
rikyrah
So sorry about Dirk. You loved him something fierce???
Rob Eberhardt
<3
Gravenstone
Such a beautiful and regal boy. Deepest condolences on your loss.
Schlemazel
[[[[hugs]]]]
CarolPW
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: He was absolutely gorgeous, obviously loved, and I am sure he knew that. It is difficult enough in such a sad time for those of us who don’t have your enhanced emotional connection to your companions. I can’t even imagine how much harder it must be for you to lose Dirk. I am so glad you could share him with us.
Tom Levenson
So sorry for your loss. They do make themselves essential to us, don’t they.
randy khan
I’m so sorry. They just worm their ways into your heart, and then there’s such a big hole when they’re gone.
skyweaver
I don’t post much, but I know what this feels like. Dirk was beautiful. I’m so sorry.
chopper
it’s amazing how choked up I can get over a cat belonging to someone I’ve never met. go n peace, dirk.
Elizabelle
Wonderful Dirk. He had a good life. My condolences, TTP/JMN.
Mel
TTP, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am about your loss. What a grand and beautiful boy Dirk was – that lovely grey fur and and that handsome face. You can see his sense of humor and his wit in his eyes.
Because of you, he knew happiness and love and comfort, and he had a chance to give the same to his people family and his animal family. He belonged; he was truly loved; he will always be loved – that is so clear from your beautiful tribute to your sweet kitty.
You and he are in my thoughts tonight.
The Moar You Know
Damn I am sorry.
I’ve done it before and will have to do it again. Nothing is worse.
BubbaDave
I’m tearing up here as well. They leave paw prints all over our hearts, and however long we have with them is never enough.
May his memory be a blessing.
Tazj
What a beautiful cat! You loved him and gave him a good long life TTP.
Scamp Dog
Seventeen is a good run for a cat, but of course, that’s more time to leave paw prints on your heart and become a part of your life. I got my border collie, Biscuit, in 2005, when we were guessing she was two or three. So she’s fourteen or fifteen now, and since a typical border collie life span is about 14 or 15 years, I know I’ll be in your position sooner than I’d like.
Condolences to you and Harry, and all the other people and pets missing their departed friends.
ETA: I took another look at the photo at the top, and I can see how that _has_ to be soft, wonderful fur. One of many reasons to miss him, I’m sure.
jame
He looks so much like my Wully. I’m crying with you for him, and for all the good cats in this world.
hedgehog mobile
So, so sorry. What a beautiful tribute. Hugs.
debbie
What beautiful memories! I’m so sorry for your loss.
SiubhanDuinne
@chopper:
Yup. This community — we love each other, and each other’s spouses, and parents, and siblings, and partners, and children, and pets, and friends — I am not a religious person, but there is something very spiritual about this place.
Rhubarb
So very very sorry. He was lovely. It’s always so hard.
SiubhanDuinne
@ArchTeryx:
I only regret that you didn’t capture video!
billcoop4
Acadia (my Maine Coon) and I condole with you.
debit
I am so sorry. You did the right thing, but I know it still hurts.
TheDr
Sincerest condolences on your loss. When we lost our rescue Buddy earlier this year, I always found it comforting to think that our relationship was a two way street; not only did Buddy brighten our lives immeasurably, but we provided him with a loving, happy home to spend his days. It sounds like you provided a wonderful and loving home for Dirk, and while you will miss his presence, I hope you too can take some comfort in the fact that you gave him a loving, happy home where he was a part of the family. He was lucky to have such a caring owner. Give Harry and Finnick big hugs tonight and tell them how much you love them.
lurker dean
Sorry for your loss, TTP. I’m glad you have some nice pics and lots of memories, you gave Dirk many happy years.
Mary G
What a lovely tribute to a lovely cat. So sorry for your loss. He looks a lot like my smart cat, Shiloh, who also has incredibly soft fur. That gets everywhere.
MazeDancer
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym:
What a gorgeous cat. And what a gorgeous tribute.
So glad you have such excellent pictures of your boy.
The shuddering, horrible sorrow is such a price to pay for all the love. But as many of us know, having pets as family is worth it all. And right now, Dirk, who had a splendid life with you, is fine. You have to suffer. He is not. Once he met you, he had everything a kitty could desire. No kitty could ask for more. No person could do more. You made a kitty very happy. This is a great thing.
Sending you are your kitty family much Light.
Bill
What wonderful luck to have had seventeen years with a good friend. I wish it had been longer for you, and I’m sorry that he’s gone. I can tell from his picture that he was a good boy.
Benjamin Mays
He was quite beautiful! Pet stewardship requires us to make those hard painful choices, but that is the price we pay. You did right by him!
Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho
My condolences, TTP. It’s never easy; they leave such big paw prints on our hearts.
mai naem mobile
TTP – you did good by Dirk anf by the looKS of those pics he looks damn happy anr satisfied! RIP Dirk.
ArchTeryx
It’s been said many times before and in many different ways, but there is a special sort of grace to giving a (mostly) powerless animal a good and happy life, and you certainly gave Dirk the best life you possibly could have given a rescue cat. He lived his day and will not be soon forgotten.
Original Lee
So sorry to hear about Dirk. I hope your memories will help your heart heal.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym
Thank you, everyone. At this point, I’m going to bed. It’s been an exhausting week.
Captain C
I’m so sorry for your loss. He was a gorgeous cat, and it sounds like you gave him a great life. Seventeen years is a good run for a cat, but having lost my own 17-year-old kitty (Kashmir) a few weeks ago, I know it’s never enough. Jedi hugs to you and scritches for Harry.
Ruckus
Sorry about Dirk. He sounds like he was a character. A smart character. He knew which car tire to sit under and that it was very much worth the risk. That you gave him 17 yrs is grand. Especially as he gave you 17 good ones in return.
RIP Dirk, ya done good.
Old Broad in California
Aww, I’m so sorry. He had a wonderful life with you.
Jay
Much love to you and your family,
I remember all of mine, dogs and cats combined, and I will remember them all, and love them all, to the end of my days.
dlwchico
Sorry to hear about your cat.
About 5 years ago, a few weeks after I had to say goodbye to my old dog I stopped by the local humane society. Just to look, honest.
In one of the cages where they kept the kittens and sick cats I saw a half grown yellow cat that caught my eye.
I opened the cage and he crawled out onto my chest and arms and started purring.
I knew he was mine at that point.
Earlier this year I noticed he wasn’t eating as much and he was throwing up sometimes.
After a bunch of money at the vet they thought he had pancreatitis and we treated him for that.
He didn’t get better.
I took him back for an ultrasound and they found a mass between his stomach and kidney.
Decided to go ahead with the surgery to see what it was.
It was cancer. All over. In his stomach, kidney, esophagus and just random bits in between I guess.
I told the vet to not wake him up.
He was only about 6 years old and I miss him constantly.
This is a picture of him from about a month before his final surgery. He was already pretty sick here but he still just wanted to hang out with us while we played Scrabble.
Momo was a good fucking cat.
Barbara
It’s so hard to lose a fur baby. I hope you will be kind to yourself and let Harry console you.
Adam L Silverman
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: My sincerest condolences.
SG
I’m crying for you and I’m crying for myself, since my own sweet Harry is right now well along in that same decline. My deep condolences to you on your loss. I can’t write more.
O. Felix Culpa
Love and heart’s healing to you.
Jackie
Such a beautiful tribute. I lost my Cinder at 20 1/2 yrs. I was lucky: she actually passed away in my arms, sparing me from having to put her down.
I love all the pet lovers on this blog, from cats, dogs, chickens and ducks.
The Fat Kate Middleton
He is/was absolutely beautiful.
Seth
What a magnificent beast. You were lucky to get to worship him for so long.
Omnes Omnibus
Those cats eyes remind me of Bonny Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart (literal version).
Snarki, child of Loki
Requiescat in Pace.
Please give this companion a wake, in which memories are recalled and shared. Memory is one of the very few things that the living can give to the dead, and we owe it to those to whom we cared.
No One You Know
@satby: I remember, and commiserate, and celebrate the life of your great companion. I raise a cup of catnip and chamomile tea.
It’s good to hear the stories.
Steeplejack
@dlwchico:
Your picture disappeared into the Reply button because you didn’t close the link.
Momo the cat.
Drunkenhausfrau
May you always remember the warm feel of fur and love… ? We do not deserve their love.
dww44
As the owner of an almost 16 year old cat who adopted our family and who is beginning to have some of those same issues, thanks for sharing this lovely eulogy to your Dirk. I suspect Dirk’s owner is as appealing a person as Dirk was a cat.
Felonius Monk
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: My condolences to you. Dirk was a very fine looking feline.
zhena gogolia
You have my deepest sympathy. Dirk was so beautiful.
jacy
What a sweet boy. Life is not complete without a cat to get in the way. You’ll both be in my thoughts.
Madeleine
I’m so sorry. Dirk was beautiful and, as your remembrance tells us, a wonderful individual.
Omnes Omnibus
@Drunkenhausfrau:
Bullshit. Do you torture people in your basement? Or do anything such like?
Gretchen
That’s a beautiful tribute. I’m glad you found each other and that you were able to give him such a thoughtful, caring, compassionate last few days. I’m sorry for your loss.
CaseyL
(Crying.) Oh, that first sentence! It’s one every cat owner – every pet owner – knows, and never fails to be a kick in the gut.
Dirk was a gorgeous fellow (looks a bit like my Jeannie, but fluffier). You did right by him from the start, and all the way to the end, including that wonderful, heartbreaking memorial.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not too sure there’s an afterlife for humans, but I sure hope animals get to spend eternity in Paradise.
Condolences to you and to your household for your loss. {{Hugs}}
Tinare
Lovely tribute. I’ve lost three cats in four years all to old age and kidney disease and have an 18 year old in late stages now. I thought she was a goner in April, but she rallied and seems to have the strongest will to live of any creature I’ve ever known. Our pets give us so much and we have to take comfort in the knowledge that we have given them a life of comfort and love in return.
My deepest sympathies to you.
Zoe Johnson
A wonderful rememberance.
Villago Delenda Est
TPP, what a magnificent beast Dirk was! He’s chasing mice in sunny fields, now. Condolences.
Manyakitty
Beautiful tribute for a beautiful friend. Giving all three of mine a little extra love tonight in Dirk’s honor.
Peace and love
Amir Khalid
Handsome cat, wonderful personality, loving tribute.
omnes omnubus
@N: TPP/JMN: I had a pet who was my guy. Others before and after are loved, but there is that one. For me, after Beau, I won’t have another pet. There is always the one. Again, you have my condolences.
dlwchico
@Steeplejack: Thanks man. I saw it didn’t show up but I wasn’t sure if it was some sort of anti-spam thing or if I had screwed it up somehow.
omnes omnibus
My spelling error doesn’t fix it.
Mike J
Had been following the sad story late nights here. Not a surprise that today was the day. Ironic that the end of their suffering is the beginning of ours. It doesn’t get better, but it gets easier.
Aleta
@dlwchico: Beautiful presence, your cat. Sorry for your loss of such a good guy.
MikeInOly
Such a handsome fellow. I am so sorry for your loss. We never have them long enough.
Tim C.
They, and their canine fellows deserve eternal life with a probably mythical creator far more than us poor benighted humans do. Been almost three years since I lost my dog, Angus, and I still get misty sometimes at the loss. Know that you gave Dirk comfort and happiness, and that all friends meet in heaven.
kc
What a beautiful cat. I’m so sorry, TTP
seaboogie
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: So sorry for your loss of a singular kitty – you gave him such a wonderful life, and he knew that you “got him”, which is what all great cats demand as their due, soldiering on till the last.
Eljai
Dirk was beautiful! His personality shines through in that photo. I am so sorry for your loss. I can see why you miss him and I hope you are comforted by the love you shared.
?BillinGlendaleCA
Condolences, TTP.
sm*t cl*de
Such magnificent floof. I am glad to see that he had a buckit.
seaboogie
Seems like dogs are all “I’m yours – I am, right?”. And cats – even the feeblest of rescues, once they recover, are all like “Okay, you’re mine, and while I’ve been recovering, I’ve made a list – you’ll want to pay special attention to points 3 and 5…and point 8 is non-negotiable, because you do understand that I have all day and all night, yes? It really is easier for both of us for you to concede that point.”
danielx
Hugely sorry for your loss and pain. Makes me remember the loss of cats I have known, which is enough to make me tear up thinking about someone else’s loss. It does get easier with time but not for a while, as most of us know.
Ann Marie
So very sorry. Extra love to Harry and all the TTP family tonight.
thalarctosMaritimus
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Yes, I have witnessed that in people I know and love IRL as well.
I’ve been following your comments about Dirk the last few days, and I was really impressed by how solicitous you were about doing the right thing at the right time, and about how you always put his needs at the center of your decision-making, even when you were in pain and distressed.
You were so good to Dirk for so many years, and I have no doubt he knew how much you cared about him. I think you were lucky to have each other for the time that you did, and that you were very generous to open yourself up as you did over the last few days. Thank you for your generosity and kindness. I hope Dirk’s memory will be of solace to you.
Mnemosyne
I’ve been here so long that I remember both Monster and Eddie.
Again, condolences. Give yourself time to grieve such a good boy.
J R in WV
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym:
Sorry for your loss… The cats are so close to us, they let us know we’re needed, they let us know they need us…
We’ve had cats since about 1973. So 45 years going on. Some can be withdrawn, others are almost pests they need us so much.
“Love the one you’re with!”
David ?Canadian Anchor Baby? Koch
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: I lost my cat after 15 years to kidney disease. Sadly atleast a third of all cats succumb to kidney failure. The vet told me the vomiting occurred because renal issues cause nausea. He functioned for a year, but the end came quickly. It hurt. It took time. Luckily I had two other darlings who instinctively knew something was wrong and actively worked to cheer me up.
All love to you. Dirk, and Eddie.
Thank you for sharing him with us.
Westyny
All my cats have left their mark on me. Dirk sounds like a prince. So glad you found him and gave him a great life, with other great cats to share. You’ve quite a household.
Raven Onthill
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym: Sympathies to you and yours.
Kathleen
Your tribute had me in tears. My condolences to you and Harry. {{{{{Tissue}}}}}
Odie Hugh Manatee
I read every single word. From one cat lover to another, you have my deepest condolences on losing your furry buddy. Our big fluffy orange guy, Tommy, took his last breath in my arms. I was cleaning his orange fur out of places for a long time after he passed and I smiled every time I saw it.
RIP Dirk.
TriassicSands
I hate these threads. I’m so sorry for your loss TTP. Dirk was a real beauty and it sounds like he had personality to spare. They give us years of pleasure and then leave us with memories that, while sad, are precious. At least Dirk chose the right wheel to park himself under — he got the human(s) he deserved.
Just one more canuck
My condolences to you – I saw mention of Dirk’s passing yesterday and choked up thinking about my Scully who passed almost 4 years ago. When I pulled myself together I thought about what a great part of my life she was and clearly Dirk was the same for you
Quinerly
So sorry for your loss. Just catching up. Hang in there. We’re here for you.
SFAW
My deepest condolences, TTP.
Dirk reminds me of my daughter’s first cat — a stray we adopted, he looked a lot like Dirk, and was pretty ratty when he appeared on our doorstep. And he was absolutely great with my daughter. So sorry that Dirk is gone, sounds like he found the right place to be, those many years ago.
Damn, now my screen seems to be getting fogged up.
La Caterina (Mrs. Johannes)
What a magnificent, loving and well-loved cat. Thanks for sharing about him. I am so sorry for your loss, TPP. May your other pets be a balm for the sadness.
Msb
Thanks for sharing Dirk with us. So sorry for your loss.
Spanky
Well shit. I made the mistake of reading this at work. That is a great tribute, TTP, and every pet owner will find echoes of their own experiences in it. It hit too close to home after losing Archie last month, which was too soon after Poopyman last December.
Peace to you! I know, as do you, that that will come in time, and the sadness will fade. All in time. Right now Dirk gets a deserved grieving.
Sis
I am so sorry about the unique and beautiful Dirk.
WaterGirl
Tears. I’m so sorry JMN. You wrote such a beautiful tribute to your boy, even as your heart is breaking. So glad you have Harry and Finnick. Wishing you…
peace to soothe you, grace to hold you, love to comfort you.
eclare
I’m so sorry, thank you for sharing his story.
Damned at Random
What a great story and what a great cat. He sure got lucky when he hijacked your car. Every kitty should be as loved as Dirk was. Trust that in time the pain fades and the good memories don’t. Meanwhile my heart goes out to you and Dirk’s furbuddies.
Dalai Rasta
My sincerest condolences on losing your dear little friend, TTP (JMN).
TomatoQueen
That was a lovely tribute to a lovely boy. I am glad for the many years you had together and so sorry he’s gone.
SWMBO
Condolences Tissue Thin Pseudonym. My heart breaks for you and his kitty brothers. RIP Dirk.
jill tasker
I wrap my heart around you. I grieve with you.