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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Help Me Hive Mind

Help Me Hive Mind

by John Cole|  September 21, 20174:53 pm| 174 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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I don’t think the hanging plant goes there. Should I hang it to the left or the right?

Ignore the rest of the damned mess.

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Reader Interactions

174Comments

  1. 1.

    sharl

    September 21, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Isn’t this sort of thing right in ABC’s wheelhouse? [As in most aesthetic matters, I’m afraid I can offer no guidance here.]

  2. 2.

    ET

    September 21, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    I would go with the left because you have the dish dryer and the canister of utensils on the right and that seems like it could get annoying together.

  3. 3.

    satby

    September 21, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Leaning toward moving it left too.

  4. 4.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Which direction is the window?

  5. 5.

    Jackie

    September 21, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Or, keep it centered, but about 6″ or so higher.

  6. 6.

    Czanne

    September 21, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    In terms of workflow, push it to the right (above the drainer). If you put it over the sink, it will be in your face whilst doing dishes, so it’s going to end up over the drainer eventually anyway. And try to center the plant in the upper right window (raise it from where it is right now), both for the plant’s good, and to keep it out of your working space.

  7. 7.

    Mike E

    September 21, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    To the left of the Overton Window

  8. 8.

    MomSense

    September 21, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    To be honest I’m not a fan of the hanging plant. I think it’s a little busy with the curtains and all the things that are always in a kitchen. If it were me I’d do a small, raised planter and put it on a table. It looks to be a pretty ivy.

  9. 9.

    numfar

    September 21, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    Get another and center them on each window.

  10. 10.

    karensky

    September 21, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    @Jackie: I agree with Jackie.

  11. 11.

    Dextrous

    September 21, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    It really depends on the plant: what is it? If it likes direct sun, then move it either way and hang a second plant, which need not be the same species. If it like filtered sun, it is better where it is. It looks like you have cabinets that open out? in which case the plant would be in the way if moved right or left.

  12. 12.

    AdamK

    September 21, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Until you give up on the bargain basement valance, there’s no hope anyway.

  13. 13.

    JPL

    September 21, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    @MomSense: My answer was going to be is this a joke. Your answer is better.

  14. 14.

    Yutsano

    September 21, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    @MomSense: Agreed. I would put it somewhere else. The window is already really busy with the ruffled dust catcher.

  15. 15.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Keep it where it is. It looks fine. If you must move it to either side, buy another plant to hang on the opposite side.

  16. 16.

    John Cole

    September 21, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    @AdamK: The valance is just a starter kit I picked up for dirt cheap. I needed to visualize.

  17. 17.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    September 21, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Talk about first world problems.

  18. 18.

    Patricia Kayden

    September 21, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    @Jackie: I’m with you on that. Aren’t those thingamigjigs usually hung from the ceiling on a hook?

  19. 19.

    Steeplejack

    September 21, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    @MomSense:

    I agree; I don’t think the hanging plant works at all.

    @Jackie:

    Or, second choice, yeah, keep it centered but raise it.

  20. 20.

    JPL

    September 21, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    There’s flowers also, so I assume company is coming over.

  21. 21.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Mine always goes to the left.

  22. 22.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: No, it does not look fine. It looks like garbage.

  23. 23.

    JPL

    September 21, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    The plant would be lovely in another room.

  24. 24.

    jacy

    September 21, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    At my house I just kill the plants, solving the problem of where they should go. (I don’t mean to kill them…)

  25. 25.

    cosima

    September 21, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    If you must hang it above your sink, hang it on the left, so that when you water it, and the water overflows, it doesn’t overflow onto your dishrack.

    Don’t listen to the haters about your valance — from the limited views available via your fairly rubbish photo skills, it looks like a fair match for your tiles. What is does need, in my opinion, is less ruffle, so shorten it (faff around with it, until you get a more pleasing flatter lie for the fabric, then cut off the extra, squirt some fraycheck on the end so that it doesn’t unravel). Ruffles are not nice — less is more.

  26. 26.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    @numfar:

    Get another and center them on each window.

    Jesus. What’s th point of having the kitchen on an outside wall? Keep the windows open and bright and shiny.

  27. 27.

    John Cole

    September 21, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    @JPL:

    The plant would be lovely in another room.

    So diplomatic. You’ve worked with children and grown men before, haven’t you?

  28. 28.

    mainmata

    September 21, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Depends entirely upon what you plan to do with the spaces under those windows. If they will have armchairs then the potted plant is just fine where it is. Design the whole room first then worry about details like the plant.

  29. 29.

    InternetDragons

    September 21, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    Lose the valance; raise the plant or put it in a different room altogether.

  30. 30.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    @Corner Stone:
    That’s very helpful to John. Keep up the great work.?

  31. 31.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    1) higher
    2) move it to the cut out between the kitchen and dining room, over towards the side with the post, not the wall side.Too much potential for steam baths over the sink (and, as pictured, it doesn’t play well with the valance).

  32. 32.

    Roger Moore

    September 21, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    I don’t think the hanging plant goes there. Should I hang it to the left or the right?

    You shouldn’t have it there at all.

  33. 33.

    Miss Bianca

    September 21, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    @John Cole:

    You’ve worked with children and grown men before, haven’t you?

    There’s a difference? (ducks, slinking low to avoid the hanging plant)

  34. 34.

    catclub

    September 21, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    @mainmata:

    Design the whole room first then worry about details like the plant.

    so, pull out the sink and cabinet there, for starters?

  35. 35.

    germy

    September 21, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    A little bit of Bernie Sanders’ foreign policy speech:

    We also see a rise in authoritarianism and right wing extremism – both domestic and foreign — which further weakens this order by exploiting and amplifying resentments, stoking intolerance and fanning ethnic and racial hatreds among those in our societies who are struggling.

    We saw this anti-democratic effort take place in the 2016 election right here in the United States, where we now know that the Russian government was engaged in a massive effort to undermine one of our greatest strengths: The integrity of our elections, and our faith in our own democracy.

    I found it incredible, by the way, that when the President of the United States spoke before the United Nations on Monday, he did not even mention that outrage.

    Well, I will. Today I say to Mr. Putin: we will not allow you to undermine American democracy or democracies around the world. In fact, our goal is to not only strengthen American democracy, but to work in solidarity with supporters of democracy around the globe, including in Russia. In the struggle of democracy versus authoritarianism, we intend to win.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/09/bernie-sanders-gives-major-foreign-policy

  36. 36.

    Shana

    September 21, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Well first it needs to be higher. It looks like a variety of ivy which doesn’t need a lot of direct sun.

    I have two pots of ivy on either side of my kitchen sink that I’m training to go up a string I’ve tacked to the window frames. Eventually (in a couple of years) the two plants will make a nice border around the window with the string covered by the twining ivy. I did the same thing prior to our remodel but we enlarged the window and the places where the ivy bent around the corners of the previous window didn’t match up with the new one.

  37. 37.

    Shell

    September 21, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    @Corner Stone: Have to agree. Don’t know if its the; photo, but the kitchen looks really dark. . Id bring as much natural light in as I could.

  38. 38.

    Steeplejack

    September 21, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    OT. Via Chuck Todd on MSNBC: 15 dead, 20 missing on Dominica. I hope valued commenter Betty is all right.

    Just found this article in The Guardian.

  39. 39.

    trollhattan

    September 21, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    @Corner Stone: [sops Diet Pepsi from keyboard]
    Hangs left it is, then.

  40. 40.

    planetpundit

    September 21, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    It would be easier if the shot wasn’t so cluttered.

  41. 41.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    @germy: he’s more aware of it than a lot of his cultists.

  42. 42.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    After another look, might first consider repotting it. Looks as if it’s approaching being too much for that pot and on the way to becoming rootbound.

    Commmon occurrence with nursery department plants purchased at big box stores, for example.

  43. 43.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    @germy:
    The old coot’s making all the right noises. Please tell me he’s not planning on running again…

  44. 44.

    Roger Moore

    September 21, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    @Shell:

    Don’t know if its the; photo, but the kitchen looks really dark.

    It’s likely the photo. Auto-exposure almost always ruins pictures like that. It tries to compromise between the right exposure for the bright outdoors you can see through the windows and the dimmer indoors. In practice, the difference is too big, so you wind up with the view through the window overexposed and the inside underexposed.

  45. 45.

    hovercraft

    September 21, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    @MomSense:
    Agreed.

    Now for my own request for help.
    !4 year old needs a new inexpensive but reliable laptop. She has one from school, but that’s only for homework, so this would only be for personal crap,she says the phone and ipad screens are too small for watching stuff. Yes I know first world problems.
    Any suggestions from the hive?

  46. 46.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: Kingmaker, probably.

  47. 47.

    raven

    September 21, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    How’s it hangin?

  48. 48.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 5:28 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: Of course it is helpful. If Cole is too stupid to figure out that plant does not go in that kitchen then he needs to be told. If he knew where he liked it (aka where ABC liked it best) he would not have said anything.
    This is a classic troll post by Cole. He’s looking for abuse. The Argument Dept is down the hall.

  49. 49.

    Roger Moore

    September 21, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    @germy:

    We saw this anti-democratic effort take place in the 2016 election right here in the United States, where we now know that the Russian government was engaged in a massive effort to undermine one of our greatest strengths: The integrity of our elections, and our faith in our own democracy.

    Says the man whose campaign manager got rich accepting money from Putin’s cronies.

  50. 50.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    @hovercraft

    Can she hold out until (dare I say it) Black Friday time?

  51. 51.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 5:31 pm

    @MomSense: Seconded. Its already too busy with valance.

  52. 52.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:32 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:
    Speaking of which, while I was on campus today, I was looking through the college paper and came across the dumbest fucking op-ed. The entire thing consisted of accusing the Democrats of having no vision or whatever and have not changed since last year, running Clinton was a mistake, the establishment democrats are the suckzors, do not support universal basic income and are too invested in defending the “capitalistic status-quo” or something. Also misunderstood the power and influence of the DNC. The most infuriating part was no mention at all of Russia, voter suppression, white supremacist Nazis marching in the streets. I know it’s college, but that paper’s editorial standards suck and the op-ed didn’t tell the entire story. I might just write and complain.

  53. 53.

    Karen

    September 21, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    Ivy’s like filter light, so unless this is a north window you are going to want to move it. One suggestion; look up ivy and find a place that meets growing suggestions.

  54. 54.

    JPL

    September 21, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    @Steeplejack: It could be weeks before she is able to communicate, but I definitely agree with your thoughts.

    @John Cole: no comment

  55. 55.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    @NotMax: I saw an amazing movie last week, Anurag Kashyap’s Black Friday. Its about the investigation that followed the 1993 serial bomb blasts in Mumbai, India. Its nuanced and gripping, goes into the motivations of people who do such things without glorifying their actions. I am thinking of reviewing it and will send Anne Laurie a link, for this weekend.

  56. 56.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    If Cole is too stupid to figure out that plant does not go in that kitchen then he needs to be told. If he knew where he liked it (aka where ABC liked it best) he would not have said anything.

    Isn’t that a matter of personal opinion? You state that like it’s some kind of objective fact.

  57. 57.

    Mike in NC

    September 21, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    Hanging plants look best outdoors.

  58. 58.

    Kathleen

    September 21, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    I can’t/don’t decorate and I kill every plant within a 3 mile radius so in the new Trumpian spirit of not needing to know shit about anything I’m eminently qualified to state my opinion. Which is, to the left and definitely higher.

    ETA I am also available to sub for the weekly Sunday morning gardening thread should Marvel not be available.

  59. 59.

    Roger Moore

    September 21, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    @hovercraft:

    !4 year old needs a new inexpensive but reliable laptop. She has one from school, but that’s only for homework, so this would only be for personal crap,she says the phone and ipad screens are too small for watching stuff.

    If it’s mostly for watching stuff, maybe you could get something like a Chromecast that would let her use her phone to watch stuff on the TV instead. If she wants to do more than that, something like a Chromebook might be a good choice.

  60. 60.

    TenguPhule

    September 21, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    Hanging plants look best outdoors.

    This.

    Free the Green, Cole.

  61. 61.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    @schrodingers_cat

    Recently added Special 26 to the ol’ Netflix queue. Ever seen it?

  62. 62.

    TenguPhule

    September 21, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    The Argument Dept is down the hall.

    No its not.

  63. 63.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    @TenguPhule:

    The Argument Dept is down the hall.

    No its not.

    The Argument Dept is everywhere

  64. 64.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    @TenguPhule: No “it’s” not. And yes it is, assface.

  65. 65.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 5:44 pm

    @Corner Stone: You’re down the hall!

    The whole damn system is down the hall!

  66. 66.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    @NotMax: No but I know of the heist. AFAIK the mastermind was never caught. Also, about Black Friday, Kashyap names names, including the kingpin who used to control the mafia in Mumbai and is still pretty powerful. Its release was pushed ahead by 3 years because the court had to still hand down its verdict. Stylistically, Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire, copied many of Black Friday’s cinematic flourishes, including the long chase scene through the slums.

  67. 67.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    I say tear out the whole kitchen and start over from scratch.

  68. 68.

    Yutsano

    September 21, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    @germy: I just read the whole speech. Where the fuck was Wilmer on all this during the 2016 campaign?

  69. 69.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    @Corner Stone:
    Well, aren’t we a ball of sunshine today.

  70. 70.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:
    I can see that, unfortunately.

  71. 71.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    In other gardening news, I pulled out the weeds that were flourishing for a year in a raised bed. I feel so good about it. Some were more than 4 ft in height.

  72. 72.

    Stephanie Luke

    September 21, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    @Jackie:
    I agree: leave it centered. That gives you freedom of placement for other items in the future.

  73. 73.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: Those are pretty damn big weeds.

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: You’ll see what I tell you you see!

  74. 74.

    Miss Bianca

    September 21, 2017 at 5:50 pm

    @germy: Dear Senator Sanders – I personally find it incredible that your outrage doesn’t extend to the way that Russian-themed anti-Clinton propaganda found its way into your campaign. If you can’t or won’t acknowledge your campaign’s role in spreading Russian disinformation, how seriously am I supposed to take your castigation of President Trump for ignoring or promoting the same? Regards, Miss Bianca.

  75. 75.

    debbie

    September 21, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Keep the plant, lose the valance. Or get a smaller valance.

  76. 76.

    John O

    September 21, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Funny, I would’ve hung it in the center too, on account of being nuts in similar ways possibly, and also because from a practical perspective that’s probably the best place for light as best I can tell from the pic.

    So, you know, wherever…

  77. 77.

    debit

    September 21, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    John, is that ivy? Can Steve get to it? Because ivy is poisonous to cats. Dogs too, but I assume your dogs won’t be up on the counters. I’d get rid of it.

  78. 78.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Have Eric Holder and Jeff Sessions hold a debate on race? WTFF Chuck God Damned Todd?!

  79. 79.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    @schrodingers_cat

    Mostly jaded when it comes to chase scenes. Will say, though, there are a few in the South Korean TV series Iris (one in particular which takes place in Budapest) that nearly had me on the edge of my seat. Smashingly (no pun intended) choreographed and filmed.

  80. 80.

    TenguPhule

    September 21, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Have Eric Holder and Jeff Sessions hold a debate on race? WTFF Chuck God Damned Todd?!

    Unless it involves Holder having a baseball bat, its obviously not worth it.

  81. 81.

    debit

    September 21, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    @Corner Stone: No, you want room 12A, next door.

  82. 82.

    TenguPhule

    September 21, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    No “it’s” not. And yes it is, assface.

    Profanity was third door on the right. Pedantry is the hall down the middle.

  83. 83.

    1stgengirl

    September 21, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    @John Cole: ditch the valance and hang a plant in front of each window.

  84. 84.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: In other words, just like a hillbilly’s garden.

  85. 85.

    Baud

    September 21, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Have Eric Holder and Jeff Sessions hold a debate on race?

    Teach the controversy!

  86. 86.

    MomSense

    September 21, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    I hope she is ok. I’m also worrying about KeithP who lives in Houston. KeithG checked in the other day but I know KeithP’s house flooded just with heavy rains in 2016. I also think that he has some pets that are not easily moved. KeithP and Betty please check in. We are all worrying and hoping you are ok.

  87. 87.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    @schrodingers_cat

    Plans to dry ’em and smoke ’em?

    ;)

  88. 88.

    Kay (not the front-pager)

    September 21, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    @ET: This (to the left because of the dish drainer) was my suggestion too. And I would hang it a little higher.

    I have giant ferns in my kitchen/breakfast area* windows instead of curtains. I got hooks on pulleys so they can be raised and lowered for watering. Much easier than climbing a step stool every week.

    *OK, at the moment it’s my sewing area. So sue me, my sewing room is too much of a mess to use ATM.

  89. 89.

    Roger Moore

    September 21, 2017 at 6:02 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    I say tear out the whole kitchen and start over from scratch.

    I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  90. 90.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    @NotMax: Not that kinda weed! It was a thicket of dried gnarly stuff.

  91. 91.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    @Roger Moore: How are you at hacking satellites? I’d do it myself but it’s a little out of my reach with a 24 oz framing hammer.

  92. 92.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    @TenguPhule:
    Baseball bat, pffft. You think too small. A Glock 17 would be more Jeff’s speed.

  93. 93.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: Not the entire garden, the bed is about 5ft x 4ft. Its been this way since we bought the house last year.

  94. 94.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 6:06 pm

    @schrodingers_cat

    Ah, the Miss Havisham school of landscaping.

  95. 95.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    @NotMax: No the chase is not the highlight , the human story of toll of the attacks, both on the victims and the perpetrators is.
    They are not I brought up Slumdog, because it made millions, got Oscars when it was at best a watered down version of the original. Even its Oscar winning score was rather lame, and am saying that as a Rahman fan.

  96. 96.

    lollipopguild

    September 21, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    @TenguPhule: Thompson 45 caliber submachine gun with a 30 round clip-armor piercing. Holder fires the clip in one burst and then reloads.

  97. 97.

    MomSense

    September 21, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Emerson said that weeds are just plants whose virtues have not yet been discovered.

  98. 98.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    You’ll see what I tell you you see!

    Is this the evil Gay Agenda I’ve heard about?

  99. 99.

    Gin & Tonic

    September 21, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?:

    Isn’t that a matter of personal opinion? You state that like it’s some kind of objective fact.

    You’re new here, right?

  100. 100.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    @lollipopguild: Why armor-piercing? Maybe something a little less penetrating so there’s less collateral damage.

  101. 101.

    Gravenstone

    September 21, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    @Yutsano: getting paid to look the other way.

  102. 102.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: You know, the best stuff I ever smoked was described by a connoisseur friend of mine as gnarly.

    @schrodingers_cat: Piker. You’ve got a long ways to go before you are even in the same game as I.

  103. 103.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: You’re new here!

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: Honestly we’re never going to get that off the ground, we’ve been in line for brunch for the last thirty years

  104. 104.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:09 pm

    @NotMax: What the dickens?

  105. 105.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    @schrodingers_cat

    When friends here bought a house (for a steal) some years back, it came with over a dozen heavy duty meat hooks in the living room ceiling.

    No one asked, nor wanted to ask, why.

  106. 106.

    lollipopguild

    September 21, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: If tRump is Sessions second( standing close by) I would like a lot of damage, collateral or other.

  107. 107.

    Gin & Tonic

    September 21, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    we’ve been in line for brunch for the last thirty years

    They’re never going to let you in wearing those damn Birkenstocks.

  108. 108.

    Juju

    September 21, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    No.

  109. 109.

    les

    September 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    @hovercraft:

    !4 year old needs a new inexpensive but reliable laptop.

    Refurb from MicroCenter. Mine’s been reliable for years, cheap.

  110. 110.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:
    Not exactly. This is the first time I’ve had the honor of talking with Corner Stone

  111. 111.

    MomSense

    September 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    @NotMax:

    Have you ever seen the movie Saving Grace? One of my favorites. Craig Ferguson wrote it and it takes place in the same town as Doc Martin. Martin Clunes is also in it.

  112. 112.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: I have never smoked, weed or nicotine. I am Miss Goody Two shoes.

  113. 113.

    Juju

    September 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    And I hate that psoriasis diagram.

  114. 114.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: No it isn’t.

  115. 115.

    Gin & Tonic

    September 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: There’s my answer.

  116. 116.

    CaseyL

    September 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    @Czanne: I agree with Czanne: away from where you’ll be using the sink, and higher to get more sun.

  117. 117.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: (shakes head) Obviously you don’t know any gun nuts. Collateral damage is the whole point.

  118. 118.

    lollipopguild

    September 21, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    I love coming here, thoughtful intelligent discussions and free decorating advice! You are not going to see that at other top 10,000 blogs.

  119. 119.

    Corner Stone

    September 21, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    @NotMax: Optional lighting scenarios?

  120. 120.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    September 21, 2017 at 6:15 pm

    @Corner Stone:
    Okay, when did I talk to you first?

  121. 121.

    Karen

    September 21, 2017 at 6:17 pm

    @MomSense: I am of the school that a weed is any plant growing where you don’t want it

  122. 122.

    Juju

    September 21, 2017 at 6:17 pm

    @AdamK: I agree with you. What’s wrong with a plain window?

  123. 123.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: You poor poor deprived child….

  124. 124.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    @MomSense

    Nope. Making a note of it now.

    Have been working my way through the seasons of the Scottish sitcom Still Game, which offers enough Brit wit moments to make it a worthwhile, albeit turn your brain off at the door, pastime.

  125. 125.

    Patricia Kayden

    September 21, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    @germy: Good on Senator Sanders for talking about the Russian interference. Too many on the far left downplay how deeply Russia was involved in Trump’s win. Doesn’t make any sense since Russia will be interfering in our future elections on behalf of Republicans if we don’t take it seriously after what happened last year.

  126. 126.

    Major Major Major Major

    September 21, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Well I don’t wear them to brunch.

  127. 127.

    MomSense

    September 21, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    @NotMax:

    Ooh, my brain definitely needs some turning off time. I’ll check it out. I love Endeavor but I’ve been too scattered to enjoy it this season.

  128. 128.

    debit

    September 21, 2017 at 6:23 pm

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: I think that CS is referencing this.

  129. 129.

    NotMax

    September 21, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    @MomSense

    It grows on ye.

    And one of very few video outlets where you’ll regularly hear someone speaking in a Punjabi-tinged brogue

  130. 130.

    Miss Bianca

    September 21, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    @MomSense: Ha ha, love “Saving Grace”! May be time to watch it again!

  131. 131.

    quakerinabasement

    September 21, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    Get out your watering can and practice the motion required to water it in each position. Put the plant where it is easiest to water.

  132. 132.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    You need to try my beloved trainwreck.

  133. 133.

    Baud

    September 21, 2017 at 6:31 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: I wonder what The Nation will do.

  134. 134.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: Sad to say I gave it up in high school after someone passed me a dipper and I thought I was gonna die. Over the years I have often thought, “As bad habits go, that one really isn’t so bad.” But then I consider all my other bad habits, all of which I am loath to give up, and I think maybe I should just let sleeping dogs lie.

  135. 135.

    JPL

    September 21, 2017 at 6:36 pm

    This is what I think of this blog, from Birdcage…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYLk34GCXbo

  136. 136.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    @Baud: Russia is never wrong, it can only be wronged. In other words make excuses for Russian interference.

  137. 137.

    Baud

    September 21, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: That would be my guess too.

  138. 138.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 6:42 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: weed has kept me from offing myself when nothing or no one else could.
    I gave up drinking after it killed my dad and almost killed my son.
    Plus, Colorado!

  139. 139.

    OzarkHillbilly

    September 21, 2017 at 6:44 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: Good for you. Seriously. I still get a pang of nostalgia every time I catch a whiff of it.

  140. 140.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    September 21, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    @quakerinabasement: True, we don’t want Cole having to climb ladders to water it.

  141. 141.

    Another Scott

    September 21, 2017 at 6:47 pm

    @MomSense: Ivy is evil.

    An African violet in a self-watering pot might be a better choice for those windows, but hanging might be problematic.

    Dunno.

    JC, if you want to keep it, I’d suggest keeping it centered and raising it. I’m a big fan of symmetry, and having 2 plants blocking both windows (and one hanging over the dishes) seems like a bad idea, so one plant it is.

    Unless you your dad makes some appropriate shelf maybe half-way up the window for the plants.

    HTH!!

    ;-)

    Cheers,
    Scott.
    (“Who dug far too much ivy out of his front and back yards.”)

  142. 142.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 21, 2017 at 6:47 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Why not just put it on the window ledge above the sink? I have an orchid on mine.

  143. 143.

    rikyrah

    September 21, 2017 at 6:50 pm

    I have no suggestion. But, you get great light

  144. 144.

    Davebo

    September 21, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    Forget the plant! As my late wife would say, that valance is… unfortunate.

  145. 145.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    Different strokes. Like, most of the people I work with wouldn’t dream of driving the high mountain dirt (rock) roads, but I live for it.
    Rock on!

  146. 146.

    WaterGirl

    September 21, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    @Corner Stone: I thought the phrase was “tuck left”, not “hang left”.

  147. 147.

    hovercraft

    September 21, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    @NotMax:

    Can she hold out until (dare I say it) Black Friday time?

    She’s 14, so not if I want peace till then.

  148. 148.

    Another Scott

    September 21, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    @hovercraft: Pick a budget and get the best screen and processor you can. Most PC laptops you can upgrade later if necessary (adding more RAM, replacing the HD/SSD). Older (~ mid-2012) 13″ MacBook Pros are still pretty good machines, but are still pretty expensive (for being 5 years old).

    Beyond that, they’re all kinda the same when it comes to consumer laptops. (You pay more for business-class machines, but it’s probably not worth it for a school kid (income doesn’t depend on it).)

    If you come up with something that looks promising, let us know the make and model and you’ll probably get more opinions.

    HTH a little.

    Good luck!

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  149. 149.

    WaterGirl

    September 21, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    @JPL: Your mom (or any mom) would applaud your diplomacy.

    edit: I see that Cole got there first.

  150. 150.

    Steve in the ATL

    September 21, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: I’ve been in Colorado all week (would love to stay all month). Local counsel told me that since weed was decriminalized that crime has dropped substantially, but traffic accidents have increased.

  151. 151.

    p.a.

    September 21, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: @OzarkHillbilly:

    Considered smoking a while back after a 20 year hiatus, mostly ’cause I felt I was getting old (true) and boring (truer); plus it’s a good conversation starter: what kind is it? where’d ya get it? how much was it? how’s it taste? are you stoned? i’m so fuckin’ stoned. you stoned? how late’s that pizza place open? you drive? i don’t wanna drive. damn they’re closed. think wendy’s drive thru is open late…

    But I joined the Y instead.

  152. 152.

    Waynski

    September 21, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    Mine always goes to the left.

    Mine too, which is weird because I’m right handed. Maybe it’s trying to get away.

  153. 153.

    Gin & Tonic

    September 21, 2017 at 6:55 pm

    @WaterGirl: It’s “dress left” – or right, as the case may be.

  154. 154.

    Davebo

    September 21, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    @Davebo:

    Sorry, I see that’ already been pointed out.

  155. 155.

    WaterGirl

    September 21, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Thanks. I try to avoid googling things that might go on my permanent record put me on some list for unfortunate ads

  156. 156.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Traffic accidents are probably up because the area is BOOMING! We came in 2009, and it was as depressed as the rest of the country. The change has been remarkable. Our timing was great; we found a great house before the prices went through the roof.

    Eta: Have you had a chance to get out of the city?

  157. 157.

    Steve in the ATL

    September 21, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: and when you get tired of the scenery to the west, you can just walk around the highlands ranch Whole Foods!

  158. 158.

    Kay Eye

    September 21, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    You do not need the valence. Find another window somewhere else in the house – or someone else’s house – and put it there. Hang the plant anywhere. After awhile it will drive you crazy and you will get rid of it.

  159. 159.

    MoxieM

    September 21, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    @cosima: Yes–you can use it as fabric and just pin the ruffly bits straight up and underneath. It will be more proportional to the window, let in more light, and be less floofy. They you can shorten the plant hanger (or get some nice but not macrame one on Etsy) and to the left. All set?

    If you must have a valance you can get wonderful fabric, and just pin it (invisibly) around the curtain rod now that those are installed. Very tidy, possibilities are endless. For your house, look into the William Morris prints you can get on Ebay. The smaller scale ones are great.

    Sez me.

  160. 160.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    @p.a.:
    Don’t need a Y. My home and yard keep me hopping, when I am not up in the hills.

  161. 161.

    normal liberal

    September 21, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    I always miss these things.
    Rather than just ditching the valance concept, update it. Replace the curtain/curtain rod with a spare, clean wooden (or similar) valance painted to match the walls and/or faced with more of those tiles if you have enough left. (A vertical measurement for the valance equal to one course of the tiles would be plenty – you don’t want the thing to loom.) Behind the valance you install either a curtain rod (if you must have curtains or blinds) or a heavier bar from which things (like plants, but also pots and pans, odd utensils, baskets for veg or fruit storage, etc.) can hang at the appropriate heights. High enough to but out of the way as you work, but still reachable for tools or ingredients. Hanging objects can be rearranged at will.
    I have such a thing on the over-the-sink window in my kitchen; it partly conceals a pot rack. The pots are out of the way but easily reached, and one can still see out the quite small window. The view consists mostly of groundhogs Occupying my deck.

  162. 162.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 7:21 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: No car? Highlands Ranch is too close to see anything but foothills. I used to work for Visa down there. Have you seen Red Rocks?

  163. 163.

    Steve in the ATL

    September 21, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    @A Ghost to Most: I was referring to the female patrons of the store. Stopped there on my way from hiking west of town to the airport.

  164. 164.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 7:32 pm

    I’m sure the weather was a pleasant change from ATL.

  165. 165.

    HumboldtBlue

    September 21, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Why the hell is that window wearing a miniskirt? Where the hell is the pot rack?

  166. 166.

    A Ghost to Most

    September 21, 2017 at 7:38 pm

    @p.a.:
    I don’t smoke couchlock weed (indicas).

    Too much to do. Plus, I am a woodcarver, and don’t like sticking myself with chisels.

  167. 167.

    No Drought No More

    September 21, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    #1: First of all, lose that Arsenic & Old Lace fabric running that the plant is hanging on.

    Off the top of my head, permit me to suggest you peruse your local garden supply store and check out those 5-6 foot tall poles that are hooked at the top to hang plants (you may have to fashion your own base). That would enable you to easily position the plant wherever you want in the room.

    But in any event, be sure to lose that- I’m sorry, that hideously obtrusive fabricky thing. Please forgive my candor. For all I know, your beloved grandma knitted the horrid thing and it’s a family treasure. But you invited me to opine, and that’s all I’ve done.

  168. 168.

    1000 flouncing lurkers (was fidelio)

    September 21, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    @schrodingers_cat: I look forward to that. It sounds like an interesting and challenging film.

  169. 169.

    Waratah

    September 21, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    @normal liberal: I was thinking the same, a wood valance, can be painted stained or tiled like you suggested. Easy to dust and clean and covers the blind tops to give a classier look. Allows for the same amount of light.

  170. 170.

    AnonPhenom

    September 21, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Here me John Cole.
    Do this.

  171. 171.

    Barry

    September 21, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    @hovercraft: “!4 year old needs a new inexpensive but reliable laptop. She has one from school, but that’s only for homework, so this would only be for personal crap,she says the phone and ipad screens are too small for watching stuff. Yes I know first world problems.
    Any suggestions from the hive?”

    A Chromebook would be my guess.

  172. 172.

    singing truth to power

    September 21, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    There’s no hope for that valance – way too big, too busy, too too much. It makes me want to cry – or to give up my dinner. And breakfast.

  173. 173.

    singing truth to power

    September 21, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    And do you really want much less light in your kitchen?

  174. 174.

    BruceFromOhio

    September 21, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    Ignore the rest of the damned mess.

    Thereby robbing the jackals of entire volumes of commentary. Put the plant in the far right corner on a small stand so you can move it around when you want to.

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